The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Episode: TDS Time Machine | Halloween
Date: November 1, 2025
Host: Comedy Central (various correspondents: Jon Stewart, Stephen Colbert, Steve Carell, Kristen Schaal, Ronny Chieng, John Hodgman, Trevor Noah)

Episode Overview

This special, time-traveling Halloween episode of The Daily Show takes a deep dive into the holiday’s history, cultural quirks, controversies, and the evolving (and often absurd) traditions that surround it in America and beyond. Through a rapid-fire blend of news satire, panel banter, and sketch comedy, the episode explores Halloween's pagan roots, its corporate commercialization, anxieties over costumes and candy, as well as how contemporary issues like the pandemic have radically altered the celebration. Expect witty commentary, memorable character monologues, and a healthy dose of tongue-in-cheek analysis of everything from "sexy pizza" costumes to haunted carwashes and trick-or-treating during COVID.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Halloween Headlines & Political Follies

• SWAT Costume Scare in Congress
  • Stephen Colbert (01:18): Recounts a Capitol evacuation triggered by staffers' realistic costumes, lampooning the absurdity with, “trick or put that pumpkin head down or I will blow your head off.”
  • Quotes Capitol Police Chief's reassurance about “no ill intent,” then jokes, “But what do I know? I’m actually just an accountant in a policeman’s costume. Now give me a Snickers or you’re under arrest.”
• Parody apology about a "Halloween misunderstanding," poking fun at politicians’ ability to overreact and deflect responsibility.

2. Historical Origins of Halloween

• John Hodgman’s Spooky History Lesson (03:14)
  • Delivers a comedic but informative monologue:
    • Details Samhain as Halloween’s Celtic root, with jokes about Ireland giving us “two holidays where people get wasted and have sex behind a Dunkin Donuts.”
    • Explains why costumes started: “no one wants to get stuck in a conversation with a ghost. They're always like, avenge me, avenge me.”
    • Transitions to Catholic influence, the start of “All Hallows Eve,” and the evolution of trick-or-treating—citing depressing “outsourcing your praying to the less fortunate.”
    • The Americanization of Halloween: “Kids used the day as an excuse for vandalism and general assholery, a tradition that continues to this day…”
    • On 1950s candy: “If you like candy, kids, you'll love Uncle Jimmy's Pole Smokers.”
  • Quote: “It's about making as much money as possible. It's the most expensive holiday after Christmas, and we don't even get a PlayStation out of it. Just some highly regrettable photos in a mouthful of cavities.” (06:57)

3. What Halloween Means (or Doesn’t)

• Even Stephen Debate — Stephen Colbert & Steve Carell (08:32)
  • Satirical debate about whether Halloween is a pagan corruption or harmless fun.
  • Steve Carell (09:00): “Every year, the forces of darkness get a foothold in the minds of our children under the deceptive guise of All Hallows Eve. Well, I say it's time to just say no to pagan rituals that lead our youngsters toward the pit of damnation.”
  • The absurd escalation of retaliation for healthy snacks: “Flaming bags of excrement were thrown at their houses.”
  • Awkward roleplay about trick-or-treating, ending in refusal: “Halloween isn’t until tomorrow. Bye.” (12:47)
  • Memorable moment: Steve insists Stephen ring the doorbell and beg for candy; Stephen stubbornly refuses.

4. Corporate Gimmicks & Haunted Houses

• Ronny Chieng Rants on Halloween Businesses (13:19)
  • Skewers haunted car washes (“The cleanest car in Ohio? Who cares? It’s still in Ohio.”) and the proliferation of haunted house “extreme” challenges:
    • On “scary” attractions: “Close contact with disgusting creatures that may touch you. That's not a haunted house. That's a sleepover at Jeffrey Epstein's place.” (15:25)
  • On fast food promos:
    • “That drink got banned in New York. Do you know how bad that coffee has to be to be considered a health risk in New York? This is the same city where pizza gets delivered by a rat, right?” (16:47)
  • Closing burn: “If you want to spend money to have a shitty night, just go on a Tinder date, okay?” (15:49)
  • Prefers to eat Halloween candy in front of kids to teach, “nothing in life is free.” (17:16)

5. Sexualization of Costumes

• Panel with Kristen Schaal: The “Sexy Everything” Phenomenon (18:54)
  • Stephen Colbert notes how hard it is for women to find non-sexy costumes.
  • Kristen Schaal embraces the trend satirically:
    • “The fact that women get this one night… to be viewed as sexual objects. And we get to choose what kind!”
    • “When my mom was growing up… she only had two options for a Halloween costume. Sexy secretary or sexy meter maid… a woman is free to be a sexy whatever the hell she wants.” (20:00)
  • Recites “sexy” costumes for everything – sexy carrot, pizza, even “sexy Hollywood producer who hires women over 40 for meaningful age appropriate roles.”
  • Jokes about “taking it to the next level” by debuting “sexy vagina” as a costume, drawing mock alarm from the panel.
  • Colbert: “To be perfectly honest, I don't know that pizza needs cleavage to make it sexy. You know what I mean?” (21:05)

6. Produce Pete: The Halloween Apple Recipe (24:34)

• Steve Carell as “Produce Dracula”
  • Provides a hilariously underwhelming caramel apple recipe, admits “You have to be an idiot not know how to make these.”
  • Reminisces about Halloween parties and the perils of hosting kids, only to become the neighborhood pariah.

7. Political Satire: Halloween at the White House

• Trump’s Candy Giveaway (26:42)
  • Stephen Colbert & Trevor Noah mock President Trump’s awkward interactions with trick-or-treating children, and his penchant for backhanded compliments:
    • “Well, you have no weight problems. So you take out whatever you need.” (28:00)
  • Pence joke: All green M&Ms removed, “I can't be alone with a sexy woman.”

8. Stand-Up Segment: Miami Halloween / Costume Outrage (29:33)

• Trevor Noah riffs on Halloween in different American regions:
  • Miami: “Here in Miami… you guys dress sexy every day… so for Halloween you should have the unsexy version of things… like a modest lifeguard costume, or conservative stripper.”
  • Florida’s “stand your ground” laws: “Just to be on the safe side for Halloween, I just walk around with my hands up the whole time. That's all I do. Hands up people. Like, what are you supposed to be? Alive, Mother—!” (30:36)
• Halloween Costume Controversies
  • Story of a dad dressing his five-year-old as Hitler, skewered as “not a costume, that was a uniform”—“Costumes are things you can buy at Walmart. That shit is something you discover in a storage unit in Argentina.” (32:20)

9. Global & Pandemic Halloween

• Hong Kong Protests Camouflaged by Costumes (33:41)
  • “Genius move for protesters to blend in with regular people celebrating Halloween. The police can’t tell the difference between protesters and trick or treaters.”
• Halloween During COVID-19 (35:47)
  • Many cities ban trick-or-treating; creative solutions arise:
    • Candy slides, pulley systems, drones to deliver candy.
    • “All it took was the possibility of a few kids not getting candy and half of suburbia turned into Elon Musk.” (38:17)
  • Pandemic-inspired costumes: toilet paper rolls, hand sanitizer, and “sexy mail-in ballot.”
  • Trevor Noah: “If you're a sexy mail in ballot, you should have been in the mail by yesterday. You realize what you've done? You're too late.” (39:44)
  • “Whatever you do, do not dress up as a doctor or a nurse this year, cause sexy nurse or not your ass is gonna get put to work quick.” (40:23)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Stephen Colbert (on Congress evacuation):
  “But what do I know? I'm actually just an accountant in a policeman’s costume. Now give me a Snickers or you’re under arrest.” (01:55)
• John Hodgman (on Samhain):
  “The Irish gave us not one, but two holidays where people get wasted and have sex behind a Dunkin Donuts.” (03:40)
• Steve Carell (on Halloween’s “darkness”):
  “No, I ate carrot sticks and my parents gave out little bags of applesauce. … Flaming bags of excrement were thrown at their houses.” (10:19)
• Ronny Chieng (on haunted carwashes):
  “The cleanest car in Ohio? Who cares? It’s still in Ohio.” (14:11)
• Kristen Schaal (on sexy costumes):
  “This year, women can even be sexy inanimate objects… sexy carrots, sexy guitar, or this one for sexy carb lovers—sexy pizza.” (20:27)
• Steve Carell (Produce Dracula):
  “You have to be an idiot not know how to make these [caramel apples].” (25:08)
• Trevor Noah (Halloween in Miami):
  “Like a conservative stripper? That would be dope. No clothes come off, only erections of the heart.” (29:57)
• Trevor Noah (on costumes gone wrong):
  “Costumes are things you can buy at Walmart. That shit is something you discover in a storage unit in Argentina.” (32:20)
• Trevor Noah (on Halloween adaptations during COVID):
  “All it took was the possibility of a few kids not getting candy and half of suburbia turned into Elon Musk.” (38:17)
• Trevor Noah (on work expectations for sexy costumes):
  “Cause sexy nurse or not, your ass is gonna get put to work quick.” (40:23)

Key Timestamps

• 01:18 – [Stephen Colbert] Halloween SWAT incident at Capitol
• 03:14 – [John Hodgman] History of Halloween — from Samhain to today
• 08:32 – [Even Stephen: Colbert & Carell] Debating Halloween’s meaning & parental trauma
• 13:19 – [Ronny Chieng] Halloween business scams/ridiculous haunted houses
• 18:54 – [Panel w/ Kristen Schaal] “Sexy Everything” costumes — satire and critique
• 24:34 – [Produce Dracula] Caramel apple “recipe” and Halloween mishaps
• 26:42 – [Trump Halloween event parody] The president’s awkward candy-giving
• 29:33 – [Trevor Noah] Stand-up: Miami Halloween and costume controversies
• 33:41 – [Global perspective] Hong Kong protests blend with Halloween; Halloween during COVID
• 35:47 – [Pandemic Halloween] Candy “logistics”, masked costumes, and new safety rituals
• 39:44 – [Pandemic costumes] Toilet paper, mail-in ballot, and healthcare worker costumes

Recap & Tone

The episode blends satirical history, biting social critique, and absurdist humor, zeroing in on how Halloween reflects America’s (and humanity’s) perpetual collision of ancient superstition, moral panic, political gaffes, and late-capitalist consumer insanity. The correspondents maintain their signature irreverence and meta-comedy, poking fun at their own childhoods, the absurdity of corporate Halloween, and the American ability to adapt or commercialize anything — even a pandemic.

For listeners who missed the episode, expect witty banter, smart historical context, pointed political satire, and a cascade of memorable jokes about everything from medieval Irish wine to haunted car washes and “sexy mail-in ballot” costumes.