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Jon Stewart
Hey, everybody, Jon Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with Jon Stewart wherever you get your podcast.
Robin Williams
I've just been riding my bike. It's been pretty sweet. Riding my bike in New York is amazing too, because you ride it on the west side bike path. I passed this guy and all of a sudden he went, way to go, fat ass. He's like, yeah, I'm on drugs. It's for my prostate.
David Letterman
Do you really ride your bike around the city?
Robin Williams
Oh, it's wonderful.
David Letterman
Yeah, you're a madman.
Robin Williams
Oh, it's wonderful. It's the greatest way to get around. All of a sudden people think, no, that couldn't be Mork. No.
David Letterman
Have you seen the new. They have the new bikes that you can rent them. The city bikes you can rent, but it's people like from Belgium that don't know the city and they don't have helmets. And they're just like, yeah.
Robin Williams
They're like, okay, we're going to go now. Here we go. And New Yorkers are going, get the off that bike.
David Letterman
But I'm amazed that no one has been hurt.
Robin Williams
They're doing wonderfully. There really is this thing that works itself out.
David Letterman
Yeah.
Robin Williams
All of a sudden you see them and it's like all of a sudden even angels are flying behind. Please be careful.
David Letterman
But it's very sweet.
Robin Williams
You're right. It is basically Europeans going, how do I get downtown? Follow the numbers. The numbers get lower. Okay, and then where are you at the next topic. Where are you? Brooklyn. Welcome. But you're right, no helmets. There should be a little hand that says some sort of safety device, bubble wrap or something. Yeah, just like a small. Just a little like maybe a condom. Something fun.
David Letterman
But don't you think for New Yorkers, they're just singing, like, it's so hard every day not to just go like, you know what I mean?
Robin Williams
Like, well, I ride my bike in la and that's where it really gets kind of crazy. I mean.
David Letterman
Oh, really?
Robin Williams
I'll be riding. The weird thing is I've been living in LA now because of the show.
David Letterman
Yeah.
Robin Williams
I don't do very well in. I got stopped by a cop once in LA and He gave me a script instead of a ticket. He was like. He went like, here, here, Mr. Williams, how are you? And if you don't like this, please give it to Eddie Murphy. But riding a bike in LA is truly kind of dangerous because you'll be in. And all of a sudden, they really do because everyone's like, you know, they're all talking, they're texting, and you just have to be like, no, no, no.
David Letterman
But you're for real, though. You don't. You take this very seriously. You've done bike treks. Like, you've done, you know, two weeks going across, like, continents and stuff like that.
Robin Williams
No, no, no. I'm not that serious.
David Letterman
Oh, really? I thought. Didn't you train with, like, the guy who won the Tour de France, Greg LeMond or something like that, and, like, rode with him for a little bit?
Robin Williams
Yeah, I rode with him one time, and I used to ride with Lance in the old days.
David Letterman
Oh, really?
Robin Williams
Yeah. You used to ride behind the Uniballer.
David Letterman
You rode with Lance Orson?
Robin Williams
I rode with him, yeah. Once or twice. But he's like. He's so good. He'd be on the phone. He's been doing all this stuff. He's. When he's hands free, I'm like, you bastard.
David Letterman
Right? But he te. He tears it up now. What is this? You're back doing a series?
Robin Williams
Yes, sir.
David Letterman
In la.
Robin Williams
In la?
David Letterman
Well, why?
Robin Williams
It's a job, brother. It's a job. But it was also David E. Kelly. I had a meeting with him.
David Letterman
Well, that guy is unbelievable. He's a sweet guy.
Robin Williams
Sweet, good man, and a wonderful guy to work with. And he's. He's a. He's a tough laugh, though. Yeah, he doesn't laugh as much. You do something really funny, and this is all you get, and you're like, huh?
David Letterman
Nothing.
Robin Williams
Yeah, it's like, you know, be like. That's like a standing ovation. But he's a great writer, and I thought, okay, I'll take a shot with you and go, you know.
David Letterman
Now is it hard for you with a guy like that? I think that's probably hard because.
Robin Williams
Well, when I did Mark and Mindy years ago. You go back 32 years ago when I did Mark and Mindy, I was 32 years.
Richard Lewis
There was.
Robin Williams
There was tape. Back then, there were only three networks, and the only thing that was wired was me. I was on everything but skates. But it was crazy.
David Letterman
I know, I know, I know. I've read the stories.
Robin Williams
Yes. I went to rehab in wine country just to Keep my options open.
David Letterman
How does it feel now? Do you feel like this? The sobriety and the learning that you've done, is it a new lease on life? Do you feel like a total reboot?
Robin Williams
Yeah.
David Letterman
Like, what is it? Does the brain. Were you worried? I remember when I quit doing drugs and smoking.
Robin Williams
You remember that now?
David Letterman
Yes, I do. But I remember being very fearful that I would lose my ability to work, to be funny or to write, that I thought that they were somehow connected.
Robin Williams
Well, I think there's, like, there's a higher power. There's also a lower power.
David Letterman
Yeah.
Robin Williams
There's the lower power that goes, text that girl with and show her pictures of your junk. It's okay. Yeah. She's not going to share that with anybody. And the same lower power goes, you know, you need this. Come on now. There was.
Richard Lewis
I relapsed.
Robin Williams
I was up in Alaska, and all of a sudden I hadn't been sober for 20 years, and all of a sudden I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniels and went, ah, that'll be fine. I'll be okay. The moment I had the first sip, it was like, all of a sudden it's like, welcome back, ass. A week later, I was walking down the street and with like 10 little bottles of Jack Daniels in my pockets. I sounded like a wind chime. It was like. But. And I got really. I got down so quick. So I went right to blackouts. And it's a misnomer. They call it blackouts. It's not. It's like sleepwalking with activities. That's your brain going, we're going to do stuff. You're not going to know. You wake up in a small field going, where am I? It's crazy, but I think that's the illusion. And I think you come through and you realize, yes, you can create better. You can get back. And it's just. And the main operative word is fear. And like you said, the fear is there, and you try and overcome it with that. But, you know, if you can deal with the fear and then realize some of it's real, some of it isn't, and then come through that. You get deeper, boss. You get deep, deeper.
David Letterman
And the lifestyle is so conducive to that type because we are generally bored individuals and we're working 40 minutes a night in Winnipeg for two straight weeks.
Robin Williams
Oh, is it?
David Letterman
And there's no. That is.
Robin Williams
Don't make them angry. They're Canadians.
David Letterman
Let me just say this. Let me just.
Robin Williams
Let me just say Canada. Let Me say this. You're the nicest country in the world. You're like, you're like a sweet apartment over a meth lab. It's really.
David Letterman
But it is that idea of like. And so during the day, you don't have anything to do with yourself. And you think, like, I bet I could make a crack pipe. You know what I mean? Like, you don't. It's like, hey, why don't we. Why don't we have a project that's.
Robin Williams
Like, when does your lower voice have activities? It's got hobbies. Like, what are you doing? I'm making a crack pipe.
David Letterman
You send it to camp and then see what happens. What'd you do?
Richard Lewis
What she do?
Norm Macdonald
How you doing, Kyle? I'm doing good.
David Letterman
I miss you. You're. I was telling you this backstage, one of the few comics when I don't hear your comedic voice for all I miss it. It's so funny. And so I'm so glad to see you coming back.
Norm Macdonald
Hey, listen, man, I like all your politics.
Richard Lewis
Thank you, Norm.
David Letterman
I appreciate that. Now, you're Canadian. Your government has collapsed.
Norm Macdonald
It's completely collapsed. It has.
David Letterman
It's completely collapsed.
Norm Macdonald
Well, the good thing is it doesn' this is why, you know, because you're such a political guy. And I realized when I came here because I was never political. And it's because you're from America and I'm from Canada. And in America, you have a duty to be political because you vote for the wrong guy, he blows up the world. Now in Canada, here's our elections in Canada go. Hey, listen, how does that guy stand on the bridge building? It's always. That's every time one guy goes, I think we should build the bridge. And the other guy's. I don't care for the bridge.
David Letterman
So it's all bridge based politics.
Richard Lewis
We don't got.
Norm Macdonald
No, they don't. They never gave us no red phone. You know, you're president.
Robin Williams
I don't.
Norm Macdonald
I thought you were political.
David Letterman
No, I didn't realize you had a red phone. Here's the.
Norm Macdonald
You don't realize, but here's the part of the president has a red phone.
David Letterman
But here's what it's come to be for in America.
Norm Macdonald
And you're the most trusted man in America.
David Letterman
No, I'm not trusted. It seems like now, no matter. No matter who we vote for, no matter which guy we get, we still blow the out of the world. So at a certain point, maybe we just like blowing stuff up Americans.
Norm Macdonald
Well, I. Listen, if I was president, man, I. I'd get on that red phone right away and blow something up.
Richard Lewis
What would you blow up first?
Norm Macdonald
What would I blow up? Yeah, that stupid high school I went to for Jesus.
David Letterman
Empty building, of course.
Norm Macdonald
But listen, man, I'll tell you this though, you know, with the streets of Libya running with blood.
David Letterman
Okay, I'll buy your premise.
Norm Macdonald
Yeah, listen, the Egyptians are so brave, you know, and the guys in Tripoli trying to take over. And Bahrain. Here's what I'm trying to get at. I'm from Canada. We got a queen, she lives in England.
David Letterman
Right. We're.
Norm Macdonald
We're so. We're so. We can't get. Seriously, I can. I could get a bunch of buddies of mine. I swear to God, I could get two or three dozen buddies of mine. We could go over to Buckingham palace, take over.
David Letterman
I would totally do that with you.
Norm Macdonald
It's an old bag in a castle.
David Letterman
You know what is the most difficult part of that? Finding which room she's in. Do you have any idea if you go attack there, there's like 130 rooms. We'd probably lose interest before we got there.
Norm Macdonald
Oh, I see what you mean. Yeah. But you know, Gaddafi is surrounded by. What is he surrounded by?
David Letterman
Bahrain, I'm guessing he's surrounded by like dancing girls. He's crazy.
Norm Macdonald
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
David Letterman
You know, he's. He's a nut bag.
Norm Macdonald
No, he likes the ladies. That's what I heard.
David Letterman
Did you know he had the. He has a Ukrainian nurse who apparently is, well, follows her everywhere.
Norm Macdonald
Yeah, pretends he's a nurse, but I've heard that maybe there's a little hanky panky going on. Listen, I don't want a bad mouth Gaddafi. I want to talk about Watson the computer.
David Letterman
Oh, let's talk about that. I'm happy to talk about that.
Norm Macdonald
You know that character?
David Letterman
I love that guy. He was on Jeopardy.
Norm Macdonald
He crushed. He was on Jeopardy. And he crushed. You guys know Watson the computer?
Richard Lewis
Sure.
Norm Macdonald
Terrific. Yeah. So, and I watched it. It was co. And the funny thing was like, they were like, I wonder if who's going to win Watson the computer or that guy that works down at the hat store? And first of all, I don't think he should be called Watson because wasn't Watson the guy that didn't know Sherlock.
David Letterman
Holmes the helper should be Sherlock.
Norm Macdonald
Yeah, Watson was like, hey, what about? And then he go, elementary, my idiot friend. He should have been called Sherlock. But anyways, you know, it was a good aside. So Watson, naturally beat. He's a computer.
David Letterman
Crushed him.
Norm Macdonald
Yeah. Killed them, you know? And even his stories were better. You know what I mean? When Alex Trebek would say the story go, Watson, I understand you have a story about jail. And then Watson was like, yes. One time, Oscar Wilde was in prison, and George Bernard Shaw came to him and said, why, Oscar? What are you doing in there? To which Oscar Wilde quickly retorted, why, George Bernard, what are you doing out there? You know? And the guy next to him was like, God damn. I was going to tell my story about the hat. I give the guy the wrong hat. That time.
David Letterman
We got. When does this show come on? When does the show come on air? Lewis was the host of it was Young Comic special. I was 24 years old, and you.
Richard Lewis
Looked like me back then. You were 10 and I was about 21.
David Letterman
You know why I have you? I keep having you back on the show to find out what I'm gonna look like. I keep.
Norm Macdonald
I keep bringing you on. I brought you on right now to.
David Letterman
Go, all right, that'd be fine.
Richard Lewis
Better than that. I want. I. I was. I could have gone to Woodstock, but it was drizzling and I stayed home.
Norm Macdonald
Okay.
Richard Lewis
But I went to a lot of stuff when I was 16 and 17. Now, if I had anybody in that mug, he could have been my son, and it would have been unbelievable. I love. And you know what? I.
David Letterman
Can I tell you something?
Richard Lewis
Sure, whatever. It's your show.
David Letterman
That was nicer than anything my real father ever said to me. Here's the nicest thing my real father ever said to me. You like something that happened when I. Something in the mud?
Richard Lewis
No, but you would have been my son, and I would have been proud of you. But I would have asked you for one thing. Money.
David Letterman
What? Do you remember the first thing? I met you at Caroline's. I opened for you at Caroline's when it was still at the seaport back.
Richard Lewis
In, like, the early 80s.
David Letterman
It was back in middle, late 80s.
Norm Macdonald
All right.
David Letterman
Do you remember the first thing you ever said to me? First line? I will never forget it.
Richard Lewis
You could have been my son if I. Someone in the mud.
David Letterman
No. The first thing Richard Lewis ever said.
Jon Stewart
To me in my life.
David Letterman
And I was a huge fan and remain a huge fan. Thank you. I have terrible diarrhea.
Robin Williams
I said that.
David Letterman
It was the first line you ever said to me. I have terrible diarrhea. That's right. It's all right. I was coming back. Back at Caroline's. Remember? There was no green room. I was going to put my coat back, and I had my coat right up on the hook. And all of a sudden I hear from the corner I have terrible diarrhea.
Richard Lewis
Now, let me just jump this up. About nine months ago, I did the Fallon show, but two nights before.
David Letterman
Yes, he's true.
Richard Lewis
I know. And I had food poisoning. So my wife was with me, my publisher. You can't go on. Because no matter what I've done in my career. Yes, if I would have taken a dump.
David Letterman
Yeah.
Richard Lewis
It would have been Wikipedia on the Fallon show.
David Letterman
I'm gonna do you a favor.
Richard Lewis
No, I gotta finish the.
David Letterman
Can I do you a favor?
Richard Lewis
I can't finish the story. I got 25 seconds.
David Letterman
You can finish it when I'm done with the favor.
Richard Lewis
You know, I could have had you as a son if I somebody a Woodstock.
David Letterman
Settle down. Wikipedia. Take care of that for him. They're gonna write it down for you.
Richard Lewis
No, let me just dig.
Norm Macdonald
Keep going.
Richard Lewis
I'll do it fast. Cause I don't. I hate leaving because I never leave a sentence. You go, Richard, lose everybody. And I could get a stroke. I could get a stroke. I'm in my 60s now. Listen, what happened? Are you in your 60s? I'm in my 60s. Please.
David Letterman
You look terrible.
Richard Lewis
Huh?
David Letterman
60S.
Richard Lewis
I shave for you.
Norm Macdonald
I even.
David Letterman
I dressed up when you came out. I swear to God, I thought, the Bible has come alive. I had no 60s.
Richard Lewis
And why do they always put the Bible in the hood? I want a Jewish delicatessen takeout order on the other side. I mean, I kid the Mormons, but I. You know, I don't care about the Salt Lake. I want a pastrami sandwich. So anyway, so I had. I had a stomach. You know, when you had that. You're on the toilet for 28 hours and what had you eaten?
David Letterman
What had you eaten?
Richard Lewis
It was a food poisoning. And I had a recovery. No, that's what it is.
David Letterman
I know.
Richard Lewis
So my wife says, you can't go on Fallon. And my public says, we got to. I'm not canceling. The show must go on. So she won. I said, do me a favor, get me the pens so in case it happens. No one will know. I mean, Fallon could have been like a porcupine. He could have done that. But I didn't do anything. But she got me like this Calvin Klein. They come out with Calvin Klein. Can I stand up?
Norm Macdonald
I'd like to.
Richard Lewis
So you put the Calvin Klein in, and it sucks your stomach in like a girdle. So I look like a million dollars. So they said, ladies and gentlemen, Richard Lewis. Hey, how are you?
Norm Macdonald
How's everything?
Richard Lewis
Going, you know, so I told my so I did the show which went well and then I went out and snuck out and bought 12 pair. So the whole trip in New York, my wife's friends. He looks great for 60.
David Letterman
Let me tell you something. Let me.
Richard Lewis
Oh, I know how we have a minute and a half.
David Letterman
No, but that is what in terms of a billboard in Times Square for Calvin Klein. Richard Lewis, I love and it depends.
Jon Stewart
Hey, everybody, Jon Stewart here. I am here to tell you about my new podcast, the weekly show coming out every Thursday. We're going to be talking about the election earnings calls. What are they talking about on these earnings calls? We're going to be talking about ingredient to bread ratio on sandwiches. I know you have a lot of options as far as podcasts go, but how many of them come out on Thursday? Listen to the weekly show with Jon Stewart. Wherever you get your podcast.
Release Date: November 25, 2024
Host: Comedy Central and iHeartPodcasts
Guests: Robin Williams, David Letterman, Richard Lewis, Norm Macdonald
The episode opens with a lively discussion between Robin Williams and David Letterman about the contrasting biking experiences in New York City and Los Angeles.
Robin Williams shares his love for biking in NYC, highlighting the unique challenges and humorous encounters, such as being called out by a fellow cyclist for his physique:
"Riding my bike in New York is amazing too, because you ride it on the west side bike path... he's like, yeah, I'm on drugs. It's for my prostate." (00:36)
David Letterman questions the practicality of biking in such a bustling city, to which Williams responds enthusiastically about the efficiency and freedom it offers:
"Oh, it's wonderful. It's the greatest way to get around." (00:55)
The conversation shifts to the introduction of city bike rentals and the cultural differences faced by European riders in NYC:
"There should be a little hand that says some sort of safety device, bubble wrap or something. Yeah, just like a small." (01:35)
Williams delves deeper into his cycling adventures, contrasting his experiences between NYC and LA:
Discussing LA's biking dangers, he recounts a humorous encounter with law enforcement:
"I got stopped by a cop once in LA and He gave me a script instead of a ticket." (02:13)
David Letterman expresses amazement at Williams' dedication:
"But you're for real, though. You don't. You take this very seriously." (02:35)
Robin Williams reflects on his casual approach to cycling despite associating with professional cyclists:
"Yeah, I rode with him one time, and I used to ride with Lance in the old days." (02:57)
The discussion takes a poignant turn as Robin Williams shares his journey towards sobriety:
Williams opens up about his struggles and the fear of losing his creative abilities:
"I thought that they were somehow connected... but I think there's a higher power." (04:35)
He recounts a relapse experience in Alaska, highlighting the deceptive nature of addiction:
"I walked into a store and saw a little bottle of Jack Daniels and went, ah, that'll be fine. I'll be okay." (05:13)
Williams philosophizes on overcoming fear and personal growth:
"The main operative word is fear... you come through that. You get deeper." (05:18)
The conversation shifts back to lighter topics as Robin Williams, David Letterman, Richard Lewis, and Norm Macdonald exchange anecdotes from their careers:
Norm Macdonald humorously criticizes the character Watson from "Jeopardy," blending literary references:
"Watson was like, hey, what about? And then he go, elementary, my idiot friend." (11:11)
Richard Lewis shares a memorable moment from his appearance on "The Fallon Show," detailing his battle with food poisoning and the lengths he went to maintain his professionalism:
"I had a stomach... you know, when you had that. You're on the toilet for 28 hours." (15:06)
The trio engages in playful banter about stage performances and the challenges of live television, showcasing their comedic chemistry and shared history in the industry.
Throughout the episode, the guests reflect on their relationships and mutual respect:
Richard Lewis expresses heartfelt admiration for David Letterman:
"I keep having you back on the show to find out what I'm gonna look like." (12:53)
Norm Macdonald and Richard Lewis joke about familial relationships, adding a layer of personal connection to their camaraderie:
"You could have been my son if I somebody a Woodstock." (14:00)
The episode concludes with a reprise of the initial promotional segment by Jon Stewart, reinforcing the podcast's launch and encouraging listeners to tune in weekly.
Robin Williams on Biking in NYC:
"It's the greatest way to get around." (00:55)
David Letterman on Cycling Dedication:
"But you're for real, though. You don't. You take this very seriously." (02:35)
Robin Williams on Sobriety:
"The main operative word is fear... you come through that. You get deeper." (05:18)
Norm Macdonald on Watson the Computer:
"Watson was like, hey, what about? And then he go, elementary, my idiot friend." (11:11)
Richard Lewis on Live Performances:
"I had a stomach... you know, when you had that. You're on the toilet for 28 hours." (15:06)
"TDS Time Machine | Jon Stewart Interviews Comedy Legends" offers an engaging blend of humor, personal stories, and industry insights from some of comedy's most beloved figures. From biking escapades in major cities to candid discussions on sobriety and the intricacies of live performances, the episode provides listeners with a rich tapestry of experiences and reflections. Notably, the camaraderie among Robin Williams, David Letterman, Richard Lewis, and Norm Macdonald underscores the deep bonds formed within the comedy community, making this episode a must-listen for fans and newcomers alike.