Transcript
Savannah Guthrie (0:00)
Hi, everyone. It's Savannah Guthrie and Hoda Kotney from the Today Show. Nobody does the holidays like today. From festive performances and great gift ideas to tips for the perfect holiday feast. Join us every morning on NBC and make today your home for the holidays.
Hoda Kotb (0:16)
Every day, our world gets a little more connected, but a little further apart. But then there are moments that remind us to be more human.
Savannah Guthrie (0:29)
Thank you for calling Ameca Insurance.
Hoda Kotb (0:31)
Hey, I was was just in an accident.
Savannah Guthrie (0:33)
Don't worry. We'll get you taken care of.
Hoda Kotb (0:34)
At Ameca, we understand that looking out for each other isn't new or groundbreaking. It's human. Amica. Empathy is our best policy.
Desi Lydic (0:45)
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Hoda Kotb (1:30)
Hey, everyone.
Desi Lydic (1:31)
Desi Lydic here.
Hoda Kotb (1:32)
The Daily show is on break for.
Savannah Guthrie (1:33)
The holidays, but in the meantime, we.
Hoda Kotb (1:35)
Put together some special highlights for you. We'll be back in the New Year.
Desi Lydic (1:38)
On January 7th with all new episodes.
Hoda Kotb (1:47)
When you've been to as many rallies as I have, you get used to hearing things you don't encounter in everyday life, like go to hell and Klepper's a bitch. But lately, the crowds have been coalescing around one particular idea that nobody wants to hear. Civil War. Civil War. Civil War. Civil War. Civil War. The Civil War. Our country's bitter attempt at divorce that ended with mom and dad back together in a state of constant resentment. 43% of Americans think it's very likely there's a civil war in the next decade. Okay, I'm gonna be perfectly straight up and honest. It's gonna happen much sooner than that. How soon? Because I have an Airbnb rented in the Outer Banks. But it turns out a lot of Americans think this way, and not just your uncle, who has been hoarding weapons and Vienna sausages in his basement bunker. Even sitting members of Congress, like January 6, committee member Adam Kinzinger how close are we to another civil war? I think we're closer than we'd like to think. And I used to be afraid to talk about it. Now I think it's important for us to talk about it. To talk about a civil war? Yeah, because I think we have to be aware of where we're at. I don't think it's gonna be north and south with large marching armies. You know, if I live in Illinois, there's gonna be Republicans and Democrats in Illinois. I do think it could get violent easily. I mean, that's scary. It is scary. If a sitting representative like Kinzinger thinks a second civil war is possible, it's something we need to take seriously. So I decided to gather Americans in one of our most sacred traditions of civic unity, the corporate focus group bringing together conservatives and liberals in purple Arizona, who all think civil war is a real possibility. The Civil War is tomorrow. What is the skill set you bring to the battlefield? Well, I'm good with a gun. Yeah? Yeah. Okay. James? I have survival skills. I was in the military. I know how to shoot a weapon hand to hand combat if I have to. I could stick you with a knife and not, you know, cry about it. We're laughing about sticking people with a knife, but okay. Lansing, what skills? Leadership. Leadership, Yeah. I just feel there's going to need to be some leaders. Beau, what skills do you have? Critical thinking. Jesus. For all of the liberals here, we have a leader and a critical thinker. This is why the blue side is. But if America was going to be divided in a civil war, where would the modern day Mason Dixon line fall? It was time for a state by state fantasy draft. Well, nightmare draft. We've terraformed the states that have been red and blue to kind of create one land mass who sees themselves as conservative. Part of the red map. Here. Are these the states you would want? Oh, I much prefer the red states. What breaks your heart? What are you gonna miss? Well, Arizona. Isn't that supposed to be a red state guy yet? Let's say we give you Arizona. Where do you want to travel to? Well, I love California, but it's turned into such a shithole. Let's be fair. As a red state guy, the blue state has the best food. Oh, yeah, right. Beau, what would you miss? Not a ton. As a liberal, you're feeling pretty good about the states you get. Honestly, I feel all right. We got Hawaii. You do have Hawaii. James, what are you missing? You're gonna be in this red conglomerate. Well, the family's from back east in Ohio. So, yeah, I mean, that would be. You'd miss Ohio? I wouldn't trade Cleveland for anything. I'd trade Texas for California so I can go to San Diego. Okay. Any other trades? Texas for California, blue side. Would you allow that trade? I'll take Austin for Cleveland, but I don't need all of Texas. We'll do an Austin for Cleveland. I don't want Cleveland. He's in Cleveland. I want San Diego. What will you give up for San Diego? I would give up Florida. No, thanks. There's no takers on Florida? No. Okay. So I guess the ocean can have Florida, which is helpful because it will probably take it anyway. And now that we have our newly divided States of America, we get to draft some new constitutions. If there is a new America, you're going to need new laws. Are there any laws you would want to change? Get rid of the petty ones. I mean, there's lots of petty laws out there. I mean, if you pee in public, I mean, really gonna be in the sex crime registry now, because you peed in public. It's stupid. It's a crack in the system. That's the first law that comes to head. It's, you know, it's the petty laws. You get put in the federal sex crimes registry if you take a leak outside. It's just pretty dumb. That's just an example. We just talked about a civil war tearing this country in two. You finally get your way. Well, you know, I mean. And the first law that jumps to mind is peeing in public. Does your side not have toilets? With the vision of the new Confederacy already collapsing under the burden of sewage infrastructure, I thought it was time to cut to the chase and ask the biggest question of all. Which side wins? We all lose. We all lose. Yeah. There's no winning there. What if one side loses and then refuses to concede? Well, I don't know if I feel any better about the future of America, but for now, at least, we still have elections. God, it's gonna be loud. It's gonna be loud. Loud inside. It's gonna be crazy. I mean, it's kind of quiet and businesslike outside. Yeah, but it's a party in the back. It's gonna be huge. You would know, my friend. You would know. Tell me about your outfit. What's going on here? This is kind of just some shorts, swim trunks, swim trucks. I gotta say, it's a unique placement of his mouth area. I've loved everything that he has implemented in the past, so I love if we could put that back into office to keep that going. Like what stuff? Um, I like the border control. Yeah. Yeah, that's a big point. We should be working to fix what's happening at the border. Yeah. Feels like Congress is just sitting on their hands right now doing nothing. Yes. They brought up a bill to do something and Trump said, no fricking way. Why was that a good idea? I don't know. Okay, so what did they think of Trump's only remaining human opponent? I think she changed. Yeah. Fake Republican. She changed. Fake Republican. Yeah. Nikki who? Not familiar with Nikki Haley. Globalist. She belongs to the fascists. She was in the U.N. for God's sakes. I know. That's the global fascist capital of the world. To be fair, she was appointed by Donald Trump, but she stabbed him in the back as quick as she could. Yes. Loyalty matters. Loyalty matters. Fidelity. That matters. Wait, when you say fidelity matters, you're not talking about, like, marital. All fidelity matters. Fidelity matters. Have fun in there inside with Donald Trump. I don't know if his third wife will be in there with him. I think she might still be mad at him. And Trump's recent court challenges have inspired a brand new demand Trump has been talking right now about. He says he thinks he should be immune from the actions he takes while president. Absolutely. You think he should have total immunity, Otherwise everyone's going to jail. You're fine with Trump as king? Yes. Trump as king is good. Yep. That's about as American as you can get. Yes, it is. King Trump. Yes. However, Trump isn't asking to be a king. He wants to be a different kind of ruler. He says, you're not going to be a dictator, are you? I said no, no, no. Other than day one. A dictatorship for day one. Yeah. And that's what we need. What does that actually look like? Well, that means that about half the people in the Department of Justice should be arrested and put behind bars. That's like a true dictatorship. Yeah. Well, you know, it needs to happen. Donald Trump said he'll be a dictator day one. What do you think of that? Is that a good idea?