TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition – TDS Time Machine | Mother's Day

Released: May 10, 2026 | Host: Comedy Central News Team

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Episode Overview

This special Mother’s Day episode explores motherhood through satire, candid interviews and personal stories. Jon Stewart, Trevor Noah, Desi Lydic, and the Daily Show team dissect mom-shaming, evolving parenthood, “tiger parenting,” the economics of caregiving, and the cultural expectations surrounding mothers. The episode features interviews with comedian Rosebud Baker, memoirist Jennette McCurdy, author Angela Garbes, and activist Zach Wahls, each reflecting on the meaning, struggles, and unseen labor of mothering in today’s world.

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Main Themes and Key Discussion Points

Satire & Sincerity: Examining Modern Motherhood

The episode opens with humorous takes on Mother’s Day—body pillows shaped like Trevor Noah, breakfast-in-bed skepticism, and the real gifts moms want (uninterrupted alone time). Quickly, the conversation pivots to deeper issues:

• Mom-shaming in Modern Society (01:33–06:24)

  • Judgment from strangers about breastfeeding, working, parenting methods.
  • Trevor Noah and Desi Lydic, channeling real mothers, lampoon the contradictory expectations mothers face.
  • Quote:
    “Boobs are like cars. The second you put miles on those puppies, their value goes way down.” — Trevor Noah (02:20)
  • Celebrity moms like Chrissy Teigen are criticized for date night, even with world-class child care; scrutiny is universal.

• Rules for Surviving Mom-Shaming:

  1. You can’t prevent it (03:01)
  2. Never let your guard down, even in ‘safe’ spaces (03:35)
  3. It’s not your fault—it’s the baby’s fault! (04:44)

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Guest Interview: Rosebud Baker (Comedian, “Mother Load”)

Segment: 07:00–12:40

• Motherhood, Comedy, and Losing Your Edge
  • Baker filmed her Netflix special both 8 months pregnant and a year postpartum to honestly portray motherhood’s realities and dispel the myth that women lose their creative edge after becoming moms.
  • Quote:
    “The whole notion that women are soft or not on their game—I don’t think motherhood does that to women. I think bad husbands do that to women.”
    — Rosebud Baker (09:32)
  • She reflects on mental health, miscarriage, and comedy’s role—clarifying that therapy is essential:
    “Therapy’s helpful. You know what’s better than laughter is medicine. Patch Adams was goofy, but he still gave those kids chemo.” (11:05)
  • The grind of writing for SNL: “It’s helpful that they pay me... I’ll just kick one pigeon as far as I can.” (12:10)

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Tiger Moms & Parenting Styles

Segment: 13:31–18:08

• Trevor explores “tiger mom” culture, contrasting harsh discipline (both in his heritage and Amy Chua’s famous approach) versus Western parenting research.
• Satirical exchange with his own mother and experts:
  • “Who’s field-tested this for 6,000 years? What’s more effective: the chopstick hit or the knuckle hit?” (15:45)
  • Commentary on societal stereotypes of Asian-American achievement vs. individual child temperament.
  • The “indigo children” segment humorously debates parenting philosophy fads.

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Jennette McCurdy: Memoirist on Complicated Mothering

Segment: 18:15–28:12

• Jennette McCurdy (“I'm Glad My Mom Died”)
  • Shares the nuanced truth about growing up as a child star under a driven, sometimes abusive mother.
  • Quote:
    “I definitely don’t hate my mom. She was a really complicated and nuanced person... She could say things that were so wild and at times abusive, but she just had a certain cadence and rhythm that was so humorous. So I tried to capture that.” (19:29)
  • She discusses Hollywood’s toxic environment, the burden of fulfilling a parent’s dreams, and her ongoing process of acceptance.
  • On forgiveness:
    “My therapist eventually said, ‘What if you just kind of dropped forgiveness and didn't make that your goal? Because that’s you still trying to do your mom’s work.’” (23:21)
  • Why she shared her story:
    “Even if they [the public] did [turn on me], it was a message worth sharing. I really mean that.” (25:27)
  • Staying grounded in showbiz: “I trust that I won’t [get lost again]. I don’t think I had the tools before... but now there are some elements that are cool, and some that aren’t, and that’s fine.” (27:00)

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Zach Wahls: The Lessons of Love from Two Moms

Segment: 33:03–39:22

• Zach Wahls discusses his memoir, “My Two Moms”—a tribute to the values and strength imparted by his lesbian mothers.
• Key moments:
  • Importance of family values regardless of parent gender:
    “Children need a mom and a dad or they won’t be raised to have the values this country stands for... I don’t think I’ve met anybody that represents them better than you.”
    — Jon Stewart (36:29)
  • Hospital rights denied due to lack of legal marriage underpin the fight for LGBT family rights.
  • Wahls’s project “Out to Dinner” aims to humanize and normalize LGBTQ families via shared meals.

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Deepfakes, Cheer Moms, and Modern Cyber Dramas

Segment: 39:22–41:46

• Desi Lydic covers the story of a “cheer mom” who used deepfake technology to sabotage rivals—a humorous warning about tech-enabled “petty” parenting.
• Quote:
  "People are worried that deepfakes will be used to influence elections, but 90% are just gonna be people pretending to find mice in their tacos to get free food." (41:37)

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Angela Garbes: The Economics and Social Value of Mothering

Segment: 42:45–52:11

• Garbes, author of “Essential Labor” argues that domestic/parental labor underpins the entire economy yet remains invisible and undervalued.
• Pandemic’s lessons on essential work and mothers’ double burden:
  “We were hearing about essential workers... but we were never hearing about parents who were working 24/7 trying to take care of their families, trying to keep communities safe.” (44:16)
  • On the economics:
    "If women in America were paid minimum wage for the domestic labor they do unpaid right now, it would be worth $1.9 trillion per year." (45:39)
  • The role of Filipino nurses and the sacrifice of immigrant caregivers:
    “Philippine ex nurses are 4% of the nursing workforce in the United States. They are 34% of COVID-related nursing deaths.” (48:59)
  • Solutions:
    Advocates for government support, investing in care infrastructure, and acknowledging that raising children is a societal responsibility.
    "When we invest in families and mothers, it’s investing in public health." (47:16)
  • Grassroots hope: Local communities supporting each other, forming pods, and mutual aid during the pandemic.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “[Motherhood] doesn’t make women soft or throw them off their game. Bad husbands do that to women.” — Rosebud Baker (09:32)
• “Even if [people] did turn on me, it was a message worth sharing.” — Jennette McCurdy (25:27)
• “No one gets to adulthood without someone taking care of them... When we invest in children and families and mothers, it’s investing in public health.” — Angela Garbes (47:16)
• “My therapist eventually said, ‘What if you just kind of dropped forgiveness and didn't make that your goal? Because that’s you still trying to do your mom’s work.’” — Jennette McCurdy (23:21)
• “Children need a mom and a dad or they won’t be raised to have the values this country stands for... I don’t think I’ve met anybody that represents them better than you.” — Jon Stewart (36:29)
• “People are worried deepfakes will be used to influence elections, but 90% are just going to be people pretending to find mice in their tacos.” — Desi Lydic (41:37)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:33 | Mom-shaming segment & real-talk rules for mothers
• 07:00 | Rosebud Baker’s interview on comedy and motherhood
• 13:31 | Tiger mom vs. Western parenting debate
• 18:15 | Jennette McCurdy on survival, humor, and healing
• 33:03 | Zach Wahls on values from LGBT parenting
• 42:45 | Angela Garbes: The economics of unpaid caregiving
• 47:16 | Investing in mothering = investing in society’s health

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Tone and Style

Consistent with The Daily Show’s signature style, the episode mixes biting satire, heartfelt honesty, and sharp interviews. Hosts and guests balance humor with vulnerability—unpacking serious topics like mental health, parenting, and societal expectations with levity and insight. The ensemble approach (Desi Lydic, Trevor Noah, Jon Stewart, Angela Garbes, and others) ensures multiple perspectives, showing the universality and complexity of “Mothering” in 2026.

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Summary

This Mother’s Day-themed episode of The Daily Show: Ears Edition offers a candid, funny, and ultimately hopeful look at what it means to mother (and be mothered). Through sharp sketch segments and wide-ranging interviews with comedians, activists, and authors, it reveals motherhood’s burdens, celebrates those who shoulder them, and urges society to recognize caregiving as both essential labor and an act of social change.

Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

Last night you spent two hours deciding what to wear to the party this morning. It'll take you two minutes to list it on Depop and make your money back. Just grab your phone, snap a few photos and we'll take care of the rest. The sheer dress and platform heels you'll never wear again. There's a birthday girl searching for them right now. Your one and done look is about to pay for your next night out. Or at least the ride home. Your style can make you cash. Start selling on Depop, where taste recognizes taste. Morning decisions. How about a creamy mocha Frappuccino drink? Or a sweet vanilla smooth caramel maybe? Or a white chocolate mocha? Whichever you choose, delicious coffee awaits. Find Starbucks Frappuccino drinks wherever you buy your groceries.

[Desi Lydic]

You're listening to Comedy Central. Yesterday was Mother's Day. And I. I got my mom the perfect gift. A life sized Trevor Noah pillow. So that way when she misses me, she can give me a hug. Eh, eh. That's not my mom. Um, our own Desi Lydic is a new mom. And she has some tips to make moms feel special any day of the.

[Trevor Noah]

Hey, everyone. There's a lot of stuff they don't tell you before you have a baby. Like how much love you can feel for this tiny little creature and how much that tiny little creature can in your hair. But the biggest surprise is how many folks are gonna tell you that you suck at being a mom. The rise of mom shaming Women criticizing other women for their approaches to parenting. According to a Today.com survey, more than

[Angela Garbis]

90% of people feel they judged for their parenting decisions. Annie Moscato says she was judged for not breastfeeding. While shopping for formula, she was approached by a stranger who told her, breast is best.

[Trevor Noah]

Wait, breast is best? Who's the creep walking around the store and whispering about boobs? And sure, breast is best. Unless you're breastfeeding in public and then everyone wants you to put those tatas away. Cause boobs are like cars. The second you put miles on those puppies, their value goes way down. That's the world of mom shaming. I swear, it's like the second you become a mom, people just can't help themselves. When I was single, nobody came up to me and said, hey, if you buy that warming lubricant, you might as well be using hot sauce on your vagina. If only they had. Mom shaming sucks. But don't worry, because I'm gonna show you how to nap. Sorry. Hold on.

[Angela Garbis]

One.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Hey, buddy.

[Trevor Noah]

It's okay. Mommy's just making a quick video for the African. Okay, where was I? Oh, right. Few simple rules to prevent mommy shaming. Rule number one, you can't prevent it. You can't even prevent strangers from giving you unsolicited advice. Like, when I was pregnant, someone told me to prep for nursing by rubbing a loofah on my nipples. I was like, thank you, sir, but I'm really just here to pick up my dry cleaning. And listen, the shaming is coming no matter who you are.

[Angela Garbis]

Date night. Firestorm. New mom Chrissy Teigen out to dinner

[Trevor Noah]

with husband John Legend over the weekend. Leaving their two week old daughter Luna at home.

[Angela Garbis]

A private decision gone public. The TV host met with harsh criticism on social media. Spend bonding time with your baby and not let the nanny or babysitter raise them.

[Trevor Noah]

You're worried about the quality of John Legend and Chrissy Teigen's childcare? It's not like they're getting their nanny off Craigslist. They're rich celebrities. They couldn't get Mary Poppins to watch their baby. As in literally call Julie Andrews and get her to come out of retirement to babysit in character as Mary Poppins. And look out. Cause mommy shaming can come from any direction. Which brings me to my second second rule. Never let your guard down, even when you think you're in a safe place. My OB GYN was asking what the situations will be like after the baby's born. And I told him with our lifestyle, we do need to put him in daycare when he's two months and he

[Jennette McCurdy]

got a little sad.

[Trevor Noah]

He told me, if you're my wife, I would much rather for you to stay home and not miss any bonding

[Jennette McCurdy]

moment with the little kids.

[Trevor Noah]

Wait, what if you were my wife? Was her OBGYN hitting on her? Whoa, Doc. Buy a lady a virgin pina colada first. Geez. Oh, good God. Hold on. Oh, God. How did you get poop all the way up your neck? Jesus. Sorry. Where was I? Right, moms, don't let the shaming get you down. Remember rule number three. It is not your fault. Wanna know whose fault it is? It's your baby's fault because you had a plan. So did I. I was gonna have a natural birth in a free standing tub of smart water. I was gonna breastfeed until my baby was 156 months. And then Junior rolled out and was all that noise. Scooby, stop it. Stop eating that diaper. Put it down. Look, we are all just doing the best we can. You Wouldn't even believe the crazy that moms have to deal with. Oh, great, the dragon's back. Where did mommy put her sword? Oh, here it is. Moms. Look, I know it's tough, but you're doing fine no matter what people say.

[Jennette McCurdy]

You got this.

[Trevor Noah]

Aw, there, there, sweetie. It's okay. Aw. Finally sleeping. Now I have some time to myself to read all those comments you guys posted about how I hold my baby. Wrong. Happy Mother's Day.

[Desi Lydic]

Thanks, Desi.

[Trevor Noah]

My guest tonight is a comedian, actor, and Emmy award winning writer for snl. Her latest standup special for Netflix is called the Mother Load.

[Jennette McCurdy]

See, I never wanted kids until kids started playing hard to get.

[Angela Garbis]

And I was like, oh, okay, if

[Jennette McCurdy]

you're gonna ghost me. Now I'm into it. I love an emotionally unavailable baby. That's hot.

[Trevor Noah]

Please welcome Rosebud Baker. Wow. Whoa.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Warm up guy does his job.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, right. Vince isn't a fool. He knows exactly what he's doing.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I am so happy to have you on. Congratulations on your special.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Thank you.

[Trevor Noah]

So you filmed half of this special when you were eight months pregnant.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

And then half of the special after you had your baby A year after.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Right. So what was behind that decision to want to show that part of your journey, like those playing with the dichotomy of those two?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah, I just. I wasn't sure I was someone who wasn't sure if I wanted kids or not, and I kind of tortured myself with the decision. And I also wasn't sure that I had an hour that I could confidently put out.

[Desi Lydic]

So

[Angela Garbis]

it was, you know, necessity is

[Jennette McCurdy]

the mother of invention type of a situation. But also I just. When I watch it now, I think of, like, my child free self and how I wish that I had something like that to watch so that I didn't have to torture myself. Something that was, like, really, really honest about what it took to get pregnant even. Cause, you know, they tell you just like, if you're not double condom, you know, it's everything. Your life is over and it's. You can get pregnant like one day

[Angela Garbis]

a month, you know?

[Trevor Noah]

Right. Yeah.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Like upside down.

[Trevor Noah]

Which is how you did it.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah. Which is how I prefer to do it.

[Trevor Noah]

I really wish that I had your special to watch when I was pregnant, because I think so many women think like, oh, my God, am I even gonna be myself anymore? Am I gonna change? But what was so awesome was that before you had the baby, you were this brilliant comedian who's a great storyteller with impeccable timing and after the baby. You're a brilliant comedian who's a great storyteller with impeccable timing. And to see that visual representation, it dispelled the bullshit myth of, like, women lose their edge when they become mothers. Well, watch this special. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really cool.

[Jennette McCurdy]

I honestly, I think that the whole notion that women, like, are soft or that they're not on their game, I don't think motherhood does that to women. I think bad husbands do that to women. Yeah, I think.

[Trevor Noah]

I agree.

[Angela Garbis]

I think bad husbands are the problem.

[Trevor Noah]

Your husband is a good husband.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

And is also a standup comedian and still an idiot.

[Jennette McCurdy]

And he's the best.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, yeah. But he's a good idiot.

[Angela Garbis]

He's a good idiot.

[Trevor Noah]

So he's a comedian, You're a comedian. Are you concerned that your daughter's at high risk for becoming a comedian?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah. So my husband and I are both recovering alcoholics. I'm add. He's depressed. I think comedy's, like, the least of her worries. She's good.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Jennette McCurdy]

It pains me to say this, but

[Angela Garbis]

it might be the best case scenario.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, if that's the case, then she's got a great role model to look up to. That's true. Thank you. One of the things that stands out me to so much about your comedy is that you just get right to the bone. Like, you are not afraid to talk about things that some might find hard to mind comedy from. You're very honest, you're very raw. You talk openly, like in the clip about experiencing miscarriage. You talk about loss, you talk about grief, postpartum. Is that something that. Is it helpful to process all of that stuff through comedy?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Um, no. Therapy's helpful. It's like, you know, you know, what's better than laughter is medicine.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah. You know, I mean, I feel like Patch Adams was goofy, but he still gave those kids chemo. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

If only we could make. We could replace RFK Jr. With Patch Adams.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

We could just do a little switcheroo.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Switcheroo.

[Trevor Noah]

We'd be set right. Wouldn't that be good?

[Jennette McCurdy]

It'd be amazing.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, my God. You're incredibly busy as is. You're also an Emmy winning writer on snl.

[Jennette McCurdy]

You.

[Trevor Noah]

Write on Weekend Update. So you're in the trenches.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Do you find it incredibly challenging to stay on top of just the pace of the news all the time? Like, how do you cope? I'm asking for a friend.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah, well, it's helpful that they pay me. That does come in. But I will say that this is a good tip. Just, like, focusing on yourself, you know, like, breathing. Like, when I go into work, I'll just take, like a deep breath, I'll center myself, and then I'll like. I'll just kick one pigeon as far as I can.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, I like that.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Kick.

[Trevor Noah]

Kick a pigeon. Pigeon.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Well. And with bird flu going around, I'm just. They kind of have it coming.

[Jennette McCurdy]

You're saving lots.

[Trevor Noah]

They have it coming. Yeah. Yeah. My God, thank you for that. Well, you can see Rosebud taking pigeons around New York City, but you can also see her special, the Mother Lode. It's streaming now on Netflix. Netflix, Rosebud Baker. Everybody experience a membership that backs what

[Angela Garbis]

you're building with American Express Business platinum.

[Trevor Noah]

Unlock over $3,500 in business and travel value annually with statement credits on select purchases from brands like Dell, Hilton and Adobe and other benefits. American Express Business Platinum.

[Angela Garbis]

There's nothing like it.

[Trevor Noah]

Based on total potential value of statement credits on select purchases and other benefits, enrollments required monthly and other limits and terms apply. Learn [e-mail] Business Platinum.

[Zach Walz]

We all want our kids. We all want our kids to be successful so we can live vicariously through them. So what is the best way to ensure that they don't disappoint us? Olivia Munn investigates.

[Trevor Noah]

Author Amy Chua wrote a best selling book about tiger mothering, a strict method of raising successful children. And America threw a fit. At one point, she says that she

[Jennette McCurdy]

called her daughter garbage and threatened to withhold food from her.

[Desi Lydic]

Amy Chua hurt her children by denying them a childhood.

[Angela Garbis]

Is she preparing them for life or Abu Ghraib?

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, if by Abu Ghraib you mean great success. You see, I know a little bit about this. Before there was a name for tiger moms, there was my mom, the original milf, the mother I learned from. What is milf? You are okay. And without a more strict upbringing, I most certainly would have ended up on the pole. Oh, look at this place. Oh, this is the refrigerator. Do you remember what happened here?

[Angela Garbis]

Yes. I can bang your head in here because you talk the font all times. You see the dent your head mark.

[Trevor Noah]

So why were your methods so successful? I am not. Okay. Don't hit me.

[Jennette McCurdy]

I don't hit you.

[Angela Garbis]

I only guess you whenever I say that. My technique from my parents, I learned

[Jennette McCurdy]

from them when I was younger.

[Angela Garbis]

We don't listen well.

[Desi Lydic]

They decide to knock on the head

[Jennette McCurdy]

or hit us on the by the chopsticks.

[Angela Garbis]

Mm.

[Trevor Noah]

But according to parenting experts like Christine Carter, my Mother did everything wrong.

[Jennette McCurdy]

When I read Amy Chua's Tiger mom

[Trevor Noah]

method, I felt really pretty angry actually,

[Jennette McCurdy]

that she was claiming that this method was superior to other methods.

[Trevor Noah]

How does your method work?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Well, my method of raising happy kids is one that's based on about 50

[Trevor Noah]

years of really great stuff, solid scientific research. Now who are these scientists that did the research?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Well, Carol Dweck is somebody who's been Dweck.

[Trevor Noah]

Dweck. That's not Asian.

[Jennette McCurdy]

No, she's not. She's not Asian. I don't know.

[Trevor Noah]

White.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

I don't need non Asian scientists to tell me what's been field tested for 6,000 years. What's more effective, the chopstick hit or the closed knuckle hit?

[Angela Garbis]

I think the chopstick hurt.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, why is that?

[Angela Garbis]

When I knock on your guy head

[Trevor Noah]

by my knuckle, it hurt my hand.

[Angela Garbis]

But if it didn't work, I used my knuckle.

[Jennette McCurdy]

It works.

[Angela Garbis]

You got scared.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, I remember. And I'm not the only success story. Just look at the numbers. 32% of Asian Americans work as white collar professionals. 26% work in engineering, and the remaining 42% make pie charts for Caucasians. But for some people, it's not about the parent. It's about the type of child you have. More than 80% of our children across the globe are indigo children. Now, it's almost a new breed of children. They remember what we might call the Garden of Eden. So how do we identify these indigo children? They will insist upon justice. They won't tolerate any kind of hypocrisy. Like Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart? Oh, of course. Jon Stewart is an indigo child.

[Zach Walz]

Oh, for sake, lady.

[Trevor Noah]

We need to listen to our children and be present for them. What if they're just yapping like you have been this whole time? I believe that. I think perhaps the only significant question right now, and I'm taking off subject a little bit, is how well can we love? Okay. Yeah, I know. Okay, good. White folks can have their happiness and their indigos. I'll go the tiger way. You know, when I was growing up, you always were like, you know, oh, you know, why don't you listen to me? Oh, you make me lose my marble, I give you a knuckle sandwich. Oh, why you make mommy so mean? What do you make fun of me for? That's just how you talk.

[Jennette McCurdy]

So what?

[Trevor Noah]

Look, you've been in America for a long time. You should probably lose the accent. Everyone can have their opinion, but I know what ancient philosophers have said for centuries.

[Zach Walz]

Thank you Olivia. We'll be right back.

[Desi Lydic]

My guest tonight is a former Nickelodeon star who is here to talk about her best selling memoir, I'm Glad My Mom Died. Please welcome Jennette McCurdy.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Thank you.

[Desi Lydic]

Jeanette McCurdy.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Hi.

[Desi Lydic]

Welcome to the Daily Show.

[Jennette McCurdy]

I feel so short. My feet aren't touching.

[Desi Lydic]

Oh, that's fine. As long as, like, you can. You can swing them, you can swim around. Yeah, as long as you enjoy it.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Oh, yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

I can lower the desk as well if you'd like.

[Trevor Noah]

This is.

[Jennette McCurdy]

This is good.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay, good. Okay. I can't actually do it. I'm glad you asked me to do it. Welcome to the show and congratulations on writing a book that I think for many people is seen as not just something funny, not just a story that's interesting, but in many ways a cathartic exploration of how we see the relationships that we have with many of our parents, our caregivers, whoever it was. Because you wrote a book entitled I'm Glad My Mom Died.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

And it is a massive hit. So two questions. One, did you hate your mom? And two, does everybody?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Um, no, I definitely don't hate my mom. I think she was a really complicated and nuanced person. And I try to kind of articulate her to the best of my ability. And all of her many shades and colors, to me, her humor is really. She could say things that were so wild and at times abusive, but she just had a certain cadence and a rhythm that was so humorous. So I tried to capture that, but I certainly didn't hate her. And I think that's why it was so important for me to write this book, because getting to the place where I was finally glad and relieved that she was dead, you know, it took me so long to be able to accept that reality. And I also think that's something that people. I didn't hear anybody talking about. I didn't hear anybody saying, you know, that the sort of honest reality of what their experience with their. With their parent was, if they had a similar one. It feels like a thing that you can't say because society doesn't accept it. It's just, you have to keep moms on a pedestal and we all have to have the same experience. And that just wasn't mine. So it felt even more important to express it in the book.

[Trevor Noah]

You.

[Desi Lydic]

You go through your entire journey. Many people, you know, in America and some parts of the world will remember you from icarly. You would. You were this massive child star, and on the camera you were all smiles. You made people laugh. Everybody enjoyed what you were doing. As soon as you read through the book, you realized you. You were suffering. You were experiencing trauma. It was really abusive in. In how you were doing, what you were doing. It. It feels like in many ways, you were living your mom's dream and she was making you do this.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

I would love to know how you did it. Like, did you have a switch? Did you have a. Did you compartmentalize? Cause you. You. You talk about it in the book, but you could never tell. You could never tell on screen what you were going through.

[Jennette McCurdy]

No. No. So my mom always wanted to be an actress. Her dream was to be famous. And she would recount sort of these tales of how her parents wouldn't let her. She would camp out in front of Donny Osmond's house, bring him, like, posters. Chris Knight, who played Peter Brady in A Brady Bunch, she swore, like, oh, they had a relationship. I think that was not true. Chris Knight, if you're watching, please let me know if my mom actually had a relationship with you. But so she. She was always fascinated with kind of Hollywood and the aura and the romance as she saw it. And so she put me in acting when I was 6 to kind of give. I think in my eyes, it was to live vicariously through me and to fulfill her dream and what she had always wanted.

[Desi Lydic]

But it seems like she subjected you to a nightmare. Yeah. Because you were in a world where it's supposed to be fun. You know, you're making kids television, and.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

And yet it seems pretty horrible. I also wonder if this is the relationship of many child stars or do, you know, was this isolated, or do you think that this is a lot more normal than we'd like to admit?

[Jennette McCurdy]

I think it's way more common than anyone would care to admit. I know just from my experience of going into auditions countless times, I'd have, like, 103ft for my mom would be having me chug Gatorade. I'd be walking in to pretend to be a homeless child, which is just already so kind of messed up as it is. Then there's dozens of other girls lined up to also try and be this homeless child. And the moms are eyeing each other and like, oh, I hope my daughter's better at being homeless than yours. And it's like, this is so. What is this world? It's, like, so weird. But I am able to now kind of look back and see the humor in it. And I think it is a very absurd reality. But I do think There's a lot of inherent ironic humor there.

[Desi Lydic]

I think what you've done in the book is precisely that you've looked back and you've seen the humor. You use the humor. Because this book, without the humor, is a devastating tale of a young child who's a pig. It really seems.

[Jennette McCurdy]

It would be so awful. Oh, my God.

[Desi Lydic]

I don't know if it would be awful. I think it just would be. It would be a lot harder for. I think it would be. It would be painful. Cause it is still the real thing. You know, I, I, I wouldn't even think of it as a pity grab, but, but the humor is, is, is a coping mechanism. It's a tool you processing your life through. There's a point in the book where I, I find myself reading the stories of your mom.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

Understanding the complicated world that she existed in.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yes.

[Desi Lydic]

But then wondering, you know, like, how you see her. Like, like, did you forgive her? Were you able to let it all go? Do you still hold some of those feelings? Like, what has your journey been?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Oh, my God. What a big good question. That's such a deep, like, this is what I spent 10 years in therapy to be able to now say on the Daily Show. That's so cool. That's really awesome. Well, I'm glad you initially, you know, you were speaking of kind of the humor, and I do think it's a great coping mechanism. And, and I try not to use it as a defense mechanism. I used it that way for a long time initially when I was first kind of trying to grapple with everything. And I think that led to really unfunny choices. And my sense of humor is just sort of overcompensatory and kind of flailing and obnoxious, to be honest. But I think finding humor in those really intense moments and those tragedies can bring levity where it's necessary. I hope I've done that with my mom. I haven't gotten to a place of forgiveness. And I was trying to get to a place of forgiveness for so long in therapy. I would sort of plead almost with my therapist of, like, why am I not able to get to this place? What's wrong with me that I'm not able to forgive my mom for this abuse? Why am I so terrible that I can't get to that place? And she eventually said, you know, Jeanette, what if you just kind of dropped forgiveness and didn't make that your goal? Because that's you still trying to do your mom's work. I couldn't yeah, Right. I mean, that's exactly my reaction. I mmmed to Aaron. Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

Wow. Yeah, it's. Yeah, it's. It's. It's a journey that I think far too many people have been on. I think a lot of the success of the book has been that obviously it's well written, obviously it's, it's, it's fantastically told. But it is a very complicated topic. How do you address the lack of love or the lack, Lack of parenting that you were supposed to get from that figure? Because as you say, mom is supposed to be this, this, you know, this God, this icon of everything. Yeah, dad in some ways as well, but not the same. And yet you're in a world where you're going, oh, no, it's true. You know, people will be like, ah, dad, my dad was okay, but your mom is untouchable.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Or even with dads, you can be like, oh, my dad never showed up. And people are like, ugh, my neither. Uh huh. And then it's totally normal. But I feel like with moms, it is very, very much this. There's this pedestal that they're on.

[Desi Lydic]

When you broached this topic, when you started thinking about it, were you worried that people would turn on you?

[Jennette McCurdy]

I felt even if they did, it was a message worth sharing. I really mean that.

[Desi Lydic]

Wow. I love that.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Thanks.

[Desi Lydic]

I really do. Cause that's a brave stance to take because a lot of people will be like, how dare you talk about your mom like that.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yes.

[Desi Lydic]

Yeah, it's actually, it's so crazy how, I mean, everything gets memeified. And you know, there was a post I saw online where someone was trying to chastise everybody for talking about the queen. You know, like just going like, we're dead. We're glad this monarchy is ending in some way.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

And someone was like, replace. You think it's funny? Try and replace the queen with your mom and see how funny it is. And someone put a picture of your book up and then it was like, I'm glad the queen died. And it feels like, no, but it feels like that is. It feels like that's, that's what the book is dealing with, is you dealing with the idea of a mom and how that, how that competes or conflicts with your actual mom.

[Trevor Noah]

Yes.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Oh my God. Yeah. That should be on the back flap.

[Desi Lydic]

I can write it.

[Jennette McCurdy]

I wish you would.

[Desi Lydic]

You've shared your story with us. You. You've gone through a world. Now you are back in the world of entertainment in a very different way. You're behind the camera, you're directing, you're writing, you've got a podcast. It's interesting because it's a world that was so toxic to you, and now you've come back in a different way. Do you ever worry that it may suck you back in? And how do you prevent yourself from going back into that space of feeling like you're defined by the everythingness that you hated once?

[Jennette McCurdy]

Oh, my God. I'm so. Can I just say, I respect you so much. This is so cool. I'm so happy to be here. Truly. Like, this is amazing.

[Desi Lydic]

Thank you very much.

[Jennette McCurdy]

I have been scared of that. There have been a few when I've done some press that shall not be named where it's so bizarre because I'm like, hearing the pre roll of, you know, they show, like, the clip of me from the past or whatever, and it's so dramatic. It's like McCurdy vanished from the spotlight after her traumatic childhood. With the trauma and the devastation, it's like, geez, can we calm down? And then I'm like, walked out to this, you know, to this, like, cold, domineering kind of set. And then there's the journalist, and there's. There's three inches of makeup on the guy's face. And it's just like, you know, it does feel kind of. It feels easy to lose sight of reality in these environments. And so I really try to keep myself grounded and stay on top of, you know, therapy and being in touch with things that really are good touchstones and grounding tools for me, because I do not want to get lost in it. But also, I will say, I trust that I won't. I don't think I had the tools before to not get lost in it and to. To not feel sort of caught up in the whirlwind of showbiz. But now I feel like, you know what, there are some elements that are really cool about it like this, and then there are some that aren't, and that's fine. I can use my own discernment and just be grateful for the good experiences.

[Desi Lydic]

Well, we're grateful for you. Thank you for having the book.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Thank you.

[Desi Lydic]

Really wonderful having you here.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Thank you so much.

[Desi Lydic]

Thank you so much. Now at McDonald's, a McDouble is $2.50. So you can get your gym gains on or just get lunch for only $2.50. Get more value on the under 3 DOL.

[Angela Garbis]

Limited time only.

[Zach Walz]

Prices and participation may vary.

[Desi Lydic]

Prices may be higher for delivery. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney Plus.

[Zach Walz]

Let's go get ready for a new case.

[Trevor Noah]

We're gonna crack this case and prove we're victorious partners of all time. New friends. You are Gary the snake. And your last name?

[Angela Garbis]

Desnake.

[Desi Lydic]

Dream Team Hidden habitats Zootopia has a secret reptile population.

[Trevor Noah]

You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home.

[Angela Garbis]

You're clearly barking at.

[Desi Lydic]

Zootopia 2.

[Trevor Noah]

Now available on Disney.

[Desi Lydic]

Rated PG. This Sunday is Mother's Day. The day when Americans celebrate their moms with flowers and breakfast in bed. Which, by the way, I never really understood. Yeah, I don't get why people like breakfast in bed. You know, it's just so magical to lie here and eat in the place I've been farting for eight hours. And then I'm gonna go back to sleep in the place I ate. Look, the point is, it's a special day. And for more on that day, let's talk to our senior mom correspondent, Desi Lydic. Happy Mother's Day to you, Desi. And let me just say, I think it's one holiday that should be every day.

[Trevor Noah]

Well, that's kind of dumb, Trevor. You can't have Mother's Day every day. I mean, the world would run out of roses and gift cards for massages that don't include the tip.

[Desi Lydic]

Yeah, I know. It was just the sentiment. I was. You know what? It doesn't matter. This Mother's Day, Desi, should be more fun than the last. Right? Because people are vaccinated, places are reopening. So, you know, moms can actually go out and have fun and feel safe.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. I mean, honestly, it's a huge relief because this past year has been especially hard for moms. I mean, moms have taken on the biggest burden of the pandemic, really. Between juggling career, childcare, homeschooling, the only thing that's working harder than moms was our iPads. My kid is just as much Peppa Pig's son as my own.

[Desi Lydic]

I feel you there, Desi. Aw, I love that show. I actually got a pet turtle during quarantine and I have to feed it almost every day. And I mean, it's not the same, but it's kind of the same, right?

[Trevor Noah]

It's not the same.

[Desi Lydic]

It's not the same.

[Trevor Noah]

It's not the same.

[Desi Lydic]

It's not the same at all. Desi, moms have been through a lot, and hopefully you're gonna get some amazing gifts from your kids.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. Yeah, I can't wait for that coupon for free. Hugs. You know, I feel like I have so many of those at this point. I can buy around for everyone, you know? Trevor, do you know what would be really the best gift that America can get moms this Mother's Day?

[Desi Lydic]

I do, Desi. America needs to give its moms universal childcare and paid parental leave. I feel you, girl.

[Trevor Noah]

What? No. I mean, yes, that would be great. But the best gifts this Mother's Day would be to just leave moms the alone.

[Desi Lydic]

Wait.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

What are you saying? Moms want to spend Mother's Day on vacation from their kids?

[Trevor Noah]

Yes. Or the kids can go on vacation. I don't care. Someone else can run around him on the beach and make sure he doesn't eat sand. I will be at home in my bathtub and for the first time in a while, actually taking a bath in it instead of just getting in fully dressed and crying.

[Desi Lydic]

Wow. I mean, I gotta say, it does seem more doable than universal childcare.

[Trevor Noah]

Great. Great. And this works out well because it doesn't just have to be for Mother's Day. It can be for Father's Day too.

[Desi Lydic]

Right, because dads deserve a vacation, too.

[Trevor Noah]

No, dads. No. I mean, moms can be alone on Father's Day too. Also Memorial Day, obviously. Independence Day, Labor Day, and, you know, the month of December.

[Desi Lydic]

Whoa, whoa. Desi, Desi, you're not gonna spend Christmas Day with your family, okay?

[Trevor Noah]

Don't mom shame me, Trevor, or I'll take that precious little turtle of yours and shove it up your manhole. Now, if you'll excuse me, I need to recharge my co parent.

[Desi Lydic]

Oh, okay. Good luck with that, Desi. And happy Mother's Day.

[Trevor Noah]

Happy Mother's Day.

[Desi Lydic]

What about my guys tonight?

[Zach Walz]

After a addressing the Iowa House Judiciary Committee last year in opposition to a proposed constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage in Iowa, the video of his speech went viral. His new book is called My Two Lessons of Love, Strength, and what Makes a Family. Please welcome to the program Zach Walz.

[Trevor Noah]

What's up, man? I'm sorry.

[Desi Lydic]

I'm sorry.

[Angela Garbis]

Just sit down.

[Zach Walz]

That is outrageous, sir.

[Trevor Noah]

How dare you.

[Zach Walz's Son]

What can I say? Got 12 genes. I'm doing all right.

[Zach Walz]

How old are you?

[Desi Lydic]

I'm 20.

[Zach Walz]

All right. Can I tell you something? This book, My Two Moms, I want to say to you this. I want you and your two moms to raise my kids. Would that be okay? Because this is such a wonderful depiction of character that I've written what he's done. You took the Boy Scout?

[Zach Walz's Son]

Scout law. Scout law. That's Right.

[Zach Walz]

Which is.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Yeah, the 12 tenets. It says scout is trustworthy, loyal, helpful, friendly, courteous, kind, obedient, cheerful, thrifty, brave, clean, and Reverend.

[Zach Walz]

You forgot dopey and sleepy and sneezing and blitzing. And you broke it down in each one of those. And you talk about how your moms instilled those values into you.

[Desi Lydic]

That's right.

[Zach Walz]

As a youngster.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Yeah. I mean, each chapter is an examination of the value, How I learned it in the Boy Scouts, how my mom's taught it to me, what it means to me. And then, I guess, more generally, what it means to this whole debate. You look at a chapter like loyalty and what that means, especially in the terms of this debate. When my mom, Terry, was diagnosed with ms, Jackie, my short mom would not. Would not. And she.

[Zach Walz]

Hold on a second. I'm just waiting to see if that's how my kids describe me. I'm just seeing the book that they're writing, calling my short parents.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Well, Terry's like 5' 11. So it's the only way to keep them apart.

[Zach Walz]

I get that.

[Zach Walz's Son]

So they weren't married when Terry was diagnosed with ms, so she could have left, but she didn't. And so I learned a lot about all of those values from my mom's.

[Zach Walz]

It's a wonderful lesson. But also, I thought that particular area was important for the practicality of the debate. Because, Jackie, you talk about how There are about 1200 rights that you get when you're married. And one of the things that they treated Jackie in the hospital with your mom as a stranger.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Yeah, that's right. Terry, as part of her Ms. Symptoms, has this really debilitating face pain called zingers. And there was this episode 2006, that got so bad they had to go to the er. And so Terry, that night, had to suffer through the single most painful night of her life. And keep in mind, this is coming from a woman who gave birth to my little sister, Zebby, via emergency C section with no anesthesia.

[Zach Walz]

Right. Oh, Zebby. You gotta read about Zebby.

[Zach Walz's Son]

She's awesome. And she's out here, too.

[Zach Walz]

She's here, too.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Managed to make it.

[Zach Walz]

That's serious business. Good book. Are they all here? Where are they?

[Zach Walz's Son]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay. Oh,

[Zach Walz]

the best part of the whole thing is like, oh, you're with the author.

[Trevor Noah]

Get in the back.

[Zach Walz's Son]

But, yeah, so. And the reason that was the case was because the doctor who was running the ER at that point was not legally required to listen to Jackie because Jackie wasn't Terry's wife. She was just the woman who brought the patient in. So just one example of realities of the struggles that LGBT people in this country face every day.

[Zach Walz]

It strikes me as what's wonderful about the book is it is written from the perspective of a positive perspective on it, but it's perfect judo, because if the idea is, oh, well, children need a mom and a dad or they won't be raised to have the values that this country stands for, well, these are the values this country stands for. I don't think I've met anybody that represents them better than you. And it speaks amazingly for your. For your family.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Thank you very much. It's a big honor.

[Desi Lydic]

So do you what's nice about this?

[Zach Walz]

I think a lot of people who agree with you will read this. I really hope a lot of people who are not sure will read this. But aren't you also working on another project about that?

[Zach Walz's Son]

Yeah, that's right. The project's called out to Dinner, and if your audience would like to find out, it's outtodinner.org, and essentially what we're doing is inviting straight ally couples to host these dinners to which they invite both an LGBT couple and then some folks who are still kind of on the fence about the whole gay thing, and then just come together and, you know, break some bread and share a bottle of wine or four or, you

[Zach Walz]

know, whatever, that's when it gets good.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Yeah, exactly. And then just get to know each other and have a great time. And I think that that's really what's going to move this country forward on this issue, is having these face to face conversations and getting to know each other in a way that transcends these godless colonizing sodomites taking over our towns and cities, which obviously.

[Zach Walz]

So you are saying in front of all of us, your family are not godless sodomites taking over our cities. That is the claim you are making here today, sir.

[Zach Walz's Son]

This is on tv, right?

[Zach Walz]

It's going to be on tv. But isn't it always about that? You know, it's oftentimes you couch it and, well, it's just bigotry. I think sometimes it's just not having experience with something and then once you do and you go, oh, humanity the same on all sides. I get it. You're just trying to live your life and raise your kids and do the right thing.

[Desi Lydic]

Yeah.

[Zach Walz's Son]

And I think there are a lot of differences that people can sometimes get hung up on. Like the fact that, you know, I'd learn how to use a razor from my best friend's dad or that I'm really good at putting the seat down or whatever. And what they don't understand.

[Zach Walz]

All right, kid, let me tell you something. This is a wonderful book. You will love it. You will weep at times. It is an incredible demonstration of the power of real values. And you, sir, the embodiment of it. But I believe, and I say this to you with all due respect, you are peaking too soon.

[Desi Lydic]

I hope not.

[Zach Walz's Son]

I hope not.

[Zach Walz]

I expect big things from you. You're a good man. My two moms. It's on the bookshelves now. Please buy it. Zach Walls.

[Desi Lydic]

In more sports news, cheerleading. It's the only socially acceptable way to stand on other people. If you watched cheer on Netflix 10 years ago at the beginning of 2020, you know that cheerleading is a super competitive sport. But one chair mom took her competitive spirit a little too far. Now to that disturbing case involving deep

[Zach Walz]

fakes videos that are manipulated to make

[Desi Lydic]

it look like someone did or said something they did not.

[Trevor Noah]

It's a troubling new take on cyberbullying.

[Desi Lydic]

A mom in Pennsylvania is accused this

[Trevor Noah]

morning of using so called deep fakes to anonymously harass members of her daughter's cheerleading team. Police say 50 year old Raphael Spone digitally altered photos and videos of three members of her daugh cheerleading squad known as the Victory Vipers, depicting them naked, drinking and smoking from a vape pen and then sent the images to the girls and their coaches.

[Desi Lydic]

The essence of it was to knock them down. Essentially to try to shame them or get them knocked off the team would appear to be the motivation. Wow, that is really impressive. I can't believe this 50 year old mom learned how to make deep fakes. Meanwhile, your mom has to call you up every time she forgets her Paramount login. Really? I have to say Paramount plus obviously using deepfakes to bully teenagers is messed up. And not only is it criminal, but it can also backfire because you can't trust moms to know what's not cool for teenagers to do. Honey, I know you hate Trisha, so I posted a deepfake of her doing shots with Megan thee stallion backstage mom. That's the coolest thing she could do. Not on a school night. And honestly, were the deep fakes of the teens using vape pens really necessary? I mean, you've already got them naked and drunk. You don't need to be like. And they're also basic. But this is a sign that the future that awaits us with deepfakes is going to be petty as hell. You know, people are worried that deepfakes will be used to influence elections, but 90% of them are just gonna be people pretending to find mice in their tacos just so they can get free food. So, I mean, the only solution to this is to never trust any video that you ever see ever again. Including this video. I mean, I think I'm Trevor Noah, but there's no way to know for sure.

[Angela Garbis]

This episode is brought to you by State Farm. You know those friends who support your preference for podcasts over music on road trips?

[Trevor Noah]

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[Angela Garbis]

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[Desi Lydic]

Amazon presents Jeff vs. Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's verde roja or the orange one, for Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk.

[Trevor Noah]

Habanero. More like habanero.

[Desi Lydic]

Yes.

[Trevor Noah]

Save the everyday with Amazon.

[Desi Lydic]

My guest tonight is bestselling author Angela. Angela Garbis. She's here to talk about her new book, Essential labor, which reflects on the state of caregiving in America and explores mothering as a means of social change. So please welcome Angela Garbis. Welcome to the show.

[Angela Garbis]

Thank you. Thank you, Trevor, for having me.

[Desi Lydic]

Are you kidding me? Thank you for writing one of the most fascinating books on a topic that I, I, I, I love delving into because I feel like it is the root of everything. Yes. And that is mothering.

[Zach Walz's Son]

Yes.

[Angela Garbis]

You know, I'm glad that you see that we share a vibe.

[Desi Lydic]

Right. But, but let, let's start with, with the, you know, the title of the book, Essential Labor. You wrote this book, you know, based on an article that, that got acclaim from everyone. I mean, mothers all over the country read it. Some people around the world read it. Even people like Melinda Gates and Elizabeth Warren chimed in and said, yeah, this is, this is spot on. What do you think people have been missing about mothering for so long? Sure.

[Angela Garbis]

I mean, I wrote this book. You know, part of it came out of the grief and loss that I felt at the start of the pandemic. As a writer, I had sort of nebulous deadlines, and I didn't get a regular paycheck or health insurance, but my husband's job Gave us that. So I basically stopped writing. And because childcare centers closed, I was taking care of my kids. And I knew that that was the most important work I could be doing. But it also. I felt like I wasn't getting any recognition for it.

[Desi Lydic]

Right.

[Angela Garbis]

We were hearing about essential workers, health care workers, sanitation workers, who are, yes, essential. But we were never hearing about parents who were working 247 trying to take care of their families, trying to keep communities safe. And that's really where, like, this is what I'm like. What I know you understand is that. That domestic work, mothering, we do it to ourselves every day. Feeding ourselves, taking a shower, without care work and domestic labor, you know, this is the work that makes all other work possible. The idea that domestic labor is somehow less valuable than, quote, unquote, professional work, I just think it's a myth.

[Desi Lydic]

You know, what you tap into in this book is so powerful because it even goes to. Let's say somebody's like a rampant capitalist.

[Angela Garbis]

Sure.

[Desi Lydic]

You know, they go like, ah, the country needs to make money. We gotta get people out there, we gotta get. And yet they don't want the policies that support mothers in doing that. So you see mothers who, you know, you talk about in the book where they have to choose do, am I gonna be a mom? Or am I going to find somebody to be a mom to my child? Or I can't afford them.

[Angela Garbis]

This is so many, you know, we talk about this care crisis that was exposed in the pandemic, Right. When childcare centers and schools closed down. We were lost. People didn't know what to do. But many of us have always known that, you know, until your child is age 6 in America, you're really on your own. And there are many people who are choosing between, should I put my child in daycare or should I work? Because it's really about the same amount of money.

[Desi Lydic]

Right, Right.

[Angela Garbis]

But so studies have been done. So Oxfam has a study that if women in America were paid minimum wage for the amount of domestic labor that they do unpaid right now, it would be worth $1.9 trillion per year.

[Desi Lydic]

Wow.

[Angela Garbis]

So that's. Talk about putting a value on that. Like, that is part of our economy. And that's a thing that we just have not reckoned with in this country. Our country, American capitalism relies just as much on the labor that happens in the home as any other labor that happens in the office or on a job site.

[Desi Lydic]

And other countries have done that in many ways. You know, you see countries like Sweden and countries Like Switzerland, et cetera. They've got different methods of doing it, but they'll say, this is so valuable to the country.

[Angela Garbis]

Yes.

[Desi Lydic]

That we will pay a mother. We'll make sure that the government is supporting a mother. Because, you know, you talk about this in the book and it's really fascinating to get into is like everything that we struggle with in society, whether it's crime, you know, whether it's poverty, whether it's mental issues, et cetera. You can link so many of those things absolutely. To mothering.

[Angela Garbis]

Yes. When you invest. So I believe that raising children, you know, it's a choice that people make to have kids or to not have kids. And I think we should all. Unfortunately, this is not guaranteed in our country. We should all be allowed to make that choice for ourselves. Right. But whether or not you have children, you know, raising kids is a social responsibility. And when we invest, like, no one gets to adulthood without someone taking care of them. And that's their parents. It's also beloved aunties. It's a preschool teacher. It's a teacher. Right. There's so many people who are part of that. And when we invest in children and families and mothers, it's investing in public health. It's investing in the very future and health of our society.

[Desi Lydic]

It's interesting that you also wrote this, not just as a mom, but I enjoyed how many prisms you look through, you know, at the issue through. You know, you wrote about it as a mom. Um, you wrote about it as a worker and as a writer.

[Angela Garbis]

Yes.

[Desi Lydic]

And you also wrote about it through the lens of being an immigrant or family of immigrants. Yes, but specifically Filipino, which I. Which I really enjoyed because you talked about how caregiving and mothering seems almost like it's part of the fabric of being Filipino. I'd love to know where you think that came from or why that's so important to Filipino culture.

[Angela Garbis]

I'm so glad you asked. Thank you. So I didn't set out to write about my Filipino American family. I do think that Philippinex American history is something that is underrepresented, you know, within the Asian American community. Sometimes I'm like, what about us? What about Michael? Right. But. So my mom is a nurse. And I won't go into the whole long history of American imperialism in the United States. But the reason why my parents emigrated here is because my parents spoke English, because of American education system that was created by American colonialism. And when there was a health worker shortage, the United States allowed highly skilled immigrants like my mother and father. To come. And when I was thinking about the history of caregiving in this country, you know, you have to really reckon with the reason why we devalue care work which is performed mostly by women of color. It's because of slavery. Right. This is why we accept women of color working in the home for free or for low wages. So I was trying to wrestle with, like, how do I take this on? But there was a statistic that came out during COVID that will never leave my body, and it is that Philippine ex nurses are 4% of the nursing workforce in the United states.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay.

[Angela Garbis]

They are 34% of COVID related nursing deaths.

[Desi Lydic]

Wow.

[Angela Garbis]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Thank you.

[Angela Garbis]

And that, to me, I was like, this could be my mother. This could be my children's grandmother. And it's because when Philippine ex nurses came over, they tell me this is a familiar trope with immigrants here in the United States. They took jobs that white workers didn't want.

[Desi Lydic]

Right.

[Angela Garbis]

They took ICU and critical care jobs that were more intimate with patients bodies. And since. Since 2020, that means they've been caring for COVID patients. And so they're dying in disproportionate numbers.

[Trevor Noah]

Wow.

[Angela Garbis]

And that's really where I was like, wait a second. Like, I don't. There are so many ways into this story of caregiving in America. Right. But this, I realized I could tell my family story, and it's all of the same forces that are happening. It's capitalism, it's colonialism, it's exploitation. Right. It's white supremacy. These are the things that we are living with now. And I see it in my family, and I see it reflected in this crisis that we're dealing with, which is going to outlast the pandemic if we don't figure out how to care for each other.

[Desi Lydic]

How do we move towards a situation where women are not in a position where as mothers or. And you know, you talk about in the book how mothering extends beyond just the cliched idea of what a mother is. You know, we talk about communities, we talk about, as you say, the aunts, the grandmothers, they're all mothering in some way.

[Angela Garbis]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

Do you see any viable solution? Do you see a world that we can get to where we say, oh, this is where the government could help, this is what we could do. This is where companies could help, et cetera?

[Trevor Noah]

Yes, yes.

[Angela Garbis]

Well, so, I mean, companies, at this point, I want the government to be part of this because we've privatized everything. Right. Like, I don't think that employees and employers and corporations are gonna save us at this point. We've privatized all human rights in America.

[Jennette McCurdy]

Right?

[Angela Garbis]

Like universal healthcare.

[Desi Lydic]

Right.

[Angela Garbis]

Like education. We've made all of those things like it's time for government support. And I've gone through phases of being really angry and really disillusioned. But right now, my friend AI Jen Poo, who's the director of the National Domestic Workers alliance, who's part of a coalition called Care Can't Wait. And they formed during COVID to deal with this care crisis. There is actually, right now, senators are doing budget reconciliation on a bill that would put money into child care, home care, and elder care. And so in this moment, if you're looking for something to do, if you've been affected by care, and I know all of us have been, you can call your senators right now and tell them to fund care. And this is not an opportunity that comes up all the time. So I feel hopeful, you know, because there's an actionable item that we can do. I also feel hopeful because in the pandemic, what I saw when people formed pods, right, when people started having these play dates, that was people saying, I can't do this alone. Right? We are not meant to take care of children, to take care of our elders, to take care of the disabled, to take care of the sick. We're not meant to do that in isolation. We can't. And I saw so many examples in the pandemic, like, we are surviving this not because the government sent us eight tests. We're surviving this because we took care of each other. And I see that all around me. And I think if we lean into that and continue, I don't want that to go away. As we like, as the pandemic moves more into the rearview mirror, I want

[Desi Lydic]

that one part of it. More community, more looking after each other, and more honoring mothering. Thank you so much for joining me on the show.

[Angela Garbis]

Thank you.

[Desi Lydic]

I appreciate you so much. Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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