The Daily Show: Ears Edition – Episode Summary: "TDS Time Machine | New Year’s Resolutions with Steve Carell and Trevor Noah"

Release Date: January 13, 2025
Hosts: Trevor Noah, John Oliver, Jon Stewart
Guests: Steve Carell

1. Political Resolutions: Analyzing GOP Candidates

The episode kicks off with Trevor Noah introducing a segment that scrutinizes the New Year's resolutions of the 2016 GOP candidates as presented on Fox News. Highlighting the varied personas of the candidates, Noah provides a humorous yet insightful overview of each contender's approach to their campaign promises.

Notable Quotes:

• John Oliver ([00:25]): "This year, my resolution is to preserve our liberties and restore prosperity across America... my resolution is to try to stay off the ice cream in Iowa."

Noah humorously breaks down each candidate’s characteristics:

• Rand Paul is portrayed as living in a "libertarian utopia."
• Marco Rubio is described as "clean cut, middle of the road."
• Mike Huckabee is simply "happy to be here."
• Rick Santorum is focused on battling "Ben and Jerry" rather than other Republican contenders.

2. Ted Cruz’s Filibuster Attempt

The conversation shifts to Ted Cruz, who takes an unusually long time to deliver his New Year’s message, effectively attempting a filibuster. John Oliver comments on Cruz's extended speech:

Notable Quotes:

• John Oliver ([01:29]): "2016 is going to be the last year of the Obama presidency... the last year that we have Obamacare."
• Trevor Noah ([02:15]): "I hate to... Ted Cruz was trying to filibuster New Year's. And this is gonna take a while."

Frustrated by Cruz's verbosity, Noah humorously suggests sidelining him:

• Trevor Noah ([02:22]): "Happy New Year, everybody."
• John Oliver ([02:32]): "But you know what it was."
• Steve Carell ([02:26]): "It was short and sweet."

3. Donald Trump’s Unique Countdown

A highlight of the night, according to Noah, is Donald Trump receiving his own separate countdown during the New Year's celebration on Fox News. This move underscores Trump's flair for the dramatic and his penchant for standing out from the crowd.

Notable Quotes:

• Trevor Noah ([03:38]): "Donald Trump gets his own countdown. I'm so rich. I get five more seconds of New Year's Eve."
• Trevor Noah ([04:05]): "Donald Trump is basically the human embodiment of Times Square... a perfect match."

4. Slimming Down with Steve Carell: A Comedic Health Segment

Transitioning from political satire, the show delves into personal resolutions with a comedic twist. John Oliver introduces "Slimming Down with Steve," where Steve Carell embarks on a humorous journey to lose weight through diet and exercise. The segment parodies typical weight loss shows, complete with exaggerated consultations and failed attempts at healthy eating.

Notable Interactions:

• Steve Carell ([05:16]): Engages in a mock nutritional consultation, humorously listing unhealthy foods.
• John Oliver ([05:33]): "Sweet roll. What's sweet roll? Like a Danish?"

The segment advances to Steve’s attempt at a healthier diet, showcasing his comical struggles:

• Steve Carell ([06:10]): "Look how beautifully green these are."
• John Oliver ([06:56]): "What makes pasta primavera such a healthy dish?"

5. John Oliver’s Weight Loss Odyssey and Plastic Surgery Parody

The narrative continues with John Oliver documenting his exaggerated efforts to lose weight, leading to a satirical exploration of plastic surgery. Through fake consultations with a plastic surgeon, Oliver pokes fun at the pursuit of physical perfection and the absurdities of cosmetic procedures.

Notable Quotes:

• John Oliver ([12:49]): "I met with New York plastic surgeon Dr. James Reardon."
• Plastic Surgeon ([13:08]): "It's not going to make you handsome if you're not handsome to begin with."
• John Oliver ([13:03]): "I am a fat, ugly person. Do you think I would be a good candidate for liposuction?"

The segment escalates into absurdity with mock surgical details and humorous dialogues:

• John Oliver ([15:16]): Greeting Steve Carell post-surgery with exaggerated astonishment.
• Jon Stewart ([15:30]): "Which one of these two doctors that you met with would you recommend?"
• John Oliver ([15:43]): "My mom has an excellent podiatrist... I couldn't be happier."

6. Conclusion and Reflections

The episode wraps up with the hosts reflecting on the absurdities of New Year's resolutions, both in the political arena and personal health endeavors. Through sharp wit and comedic timing, The Daily Show: Ears Edition offers listeners a blend of political commentary and lighthearted humor, making complex topics accessible and entertaining.

Note: Advertisements, intros, outros, and non-content sections from the transcript have been omitted to maintain focus on the core discussions and comedic segments.