TDS Time Machine | News to Meet Ya!

Summary

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The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Episode Title: TDS Time Machine | News to Meet Ya!
Date: April 8, 2026
Host: Jordan Klepper and The Daily Show News Team

Episode Overview

In this sharp and satirical episode, Jordan Klepper leads a tour through the rapidly evolving—and often ridiculous—landscape of "new media" journalists now dominating the American right. The segment, "News to Meet Ya," skewers rising figures at the White House and in conservative media, lampooning their antics, conflicts of interest, and credulous treatment by political power. Major “stars” profiled include Brian Glenn, Tim Pool, Scott Jennings, Lawrence Jones, Benny Johnson, and Mike Lindell’s foray into 24/7 news.

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Key Segments & Discussion Points

1. Brian Glenn: The Costume Journalist

(01:14 – 07:37)

• Opening Satire: Jordan Klepper introduces Brian Glenn (Real America's Voice, formerly RSBN), praising his "hard-hitting" questions to Ukrainian President Zelensky—most notably about his lack of a suit.

  • Quote: “Why don’t you wear a suit? You’re at the highest level in this country’s office and you refuse to wear a suit.” — Brian Glenn (02:09)
  • Klepper’s Response: “Finally, the questions that matter now... Jesus Christ, Brian, the man's fighting for his country's survival. What kind of question is that?” (02:19)

• Glenn’s Reporting Style: Clips highlight Glenn’s costumed stunts (dancing, stables, drag, etc.).

  • Quote: “I’m kicking these shoes off, but I may keep the pantyhose on. Feels kinda good, actually.” — Brian Glenn (03:39)

• Character Dissection: Klepper lampoons Glenn’s bigoted rants, vacuous “statements as questions,” and personal conflicts (such as his relationship with Marjorie Taylor Greene).

  • Quote: “Liberal women tend to be some of the ugliest women I’ve ever seen.” — Brian Glenn (04:15)
  • Klepper’s roast: “There’s a man who knows how to dress appropriately for work. Take notes, Olymp.” (03:19)
  • On conflict of interest: "If violating journalistic ethics by not disclosing you’re sleeping with the politician you’re interviewing is wrong, I don’t want to be right." (06:31)

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2. Tim Pool: The Beanie-Clad Contrarian

(08:49 – 15:00)

• White House Credentials: The Trump administration gives Pool a front-row seat as “new media.”
  • Quote: “His head might be cold, but he’s in the hot seat.” — Jordan Klepper (09:22)
• Interview Style: Pool attacks “old media,” delivers rambling rants about trans issues and “front holes.”
  • Quote: “Because of trans issues, we must refer to the vagina as the front hole.” — Tim Pool (10:30)
  • Klepper: “My middle face hole is agape, my back hole is clenched.” (10:55)
• Personal Anguish: Pool laments dating woes; Klepper quips he looks like “Joe Pesci’s Home Alone stunt double.” (11:47)
• Denial and Compromise: Pool insists he’s delivering “real news,” but gets exposed for links to Russian state media and shilling anti-Ukraine propaganda.
  • Quote: “Ukraine is the enemy of this country. Ukraine is our enemy being funded by the Democrats.” — Tim Pool (14:06)
  • Klepper: “You can’t be pushing Russian propaganda. It doesn’t matter how much they’re paying you... $100,000 per episode to Tim Pool. $100,000. Me in my front hole.” (14:53)

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3. Scott Jennings: The CNN Butterfly

(15:55 – 22:18)

• Backstory: From Bush-era “I must respectfully decline to answer” scandal to CNN commentator.
  • Quote: “I must respectfully decline to answer your questions.” — Scott Jennings (16:52)
• Transformation: Once a principled Trump critic, Jennings morphs into MAGA mouthpiece.
  • Quote (Past): “He’s clearly violated his oath of office. Every Republican ought to be able to say so... We need a new nominee.”
  • Quote (Recent): “We’re the fun party, America. It’s the fun party once again.” (20:29)
• Antics & Satire: From Borat impressions to defending Elon Musk’s Sieg Heil salute, his attempts to entertain are mocked by Klepper.
  • Klepper: “My favorite game, Truth or dare or Nazi?” (20:12)
• Political Ambition: Rumors swirl about him replacing Mitch McConnell; Klepper jokes about “breaking an ancient curse.” Jennings declines to answer if his Trump support is real or opportunistic.
  • Quote: “I must respectfully decline to answer your question.” — Scott Jennings (22:14)

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4. Lawrence Jones: Fox’s Token Libertarian/Brother

(25:37 – 32:13)

• Diversifying Fox: Klepper highlights Jones as Fox’s prominent Black host and his awareness of the “optics.”
  • Quote: “When someone is hearing about Fox News, I think the elephant in the room is they don’t expect someone that looks like me.” — Lawrence Jones (26:09)
• Man-on-the-Street Antics: Jones conducts diner focus groups and border reports with fixed, conservative framing.
  • Lawrence interviewing: “Sir, how do you feel about this economy under Joe Biden?” (27:34)
• Satire: Klepper mocks Jones’s “smooth with the ladies” persona and formulaic, leading Fox reporting.
• Interviewing Trump: Jones gets a big moment, asking Trump about…favorite animals (cows).
  • Quote: “We got a six year old from Massachusetts and he wants to know about your favorite animal.” — Lawrence Jones (31:14)
  • Trump/Zelensky-esque answer: “I love cows.” (31:20)
• Conformist Rhetoric: Despite outsider branding, Jones parrots Fox’s familiar grievances: woke culture, white privilege denial, “indoctrinating kids,” etc.
  • Quote Compilation: “They’re indoctrinating our kids. It’s an indoctrination cesspool.” — Lawrence Jones (32:09)

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5. Benny Johnson: Batman, Russia, and Plagiarism

(32:58 – 40:20)

• Accolades: Known for “creatively titled” programs, prolific online reach, and infamously being fired from BuzzFeed for plagiarism.
  • Revelation: “BuzzFeed announced it was firing its viral politics editor, Benny Johnson, for plagiarism. Johnson wholesale copied...from even Yahoo Answers.” (34:03)
  • Klepper: “How bad of a writer do you have to be to cheat on a buzzfeed article with Yahoo Answers?”
• Rhetoric: Unabashedly nativist, mean-spirited, and sometimes bizarre.
  • Quote: “Every single thing you hate about your life right now or American culture is caused by mass immigration… we should not sacrifice them to the mongoloid horde. White rage is how you win a war. Leftists are a death cult. Save this country from literal demons, from Satanists and from scum.” — Benny Johnson (34:55)
  • Klepper: “You Slytherin. Elsa. Bitch. Wow.” (35:20)
• Exposed: Johnson confirmed as another influencer paid by Russian state media.
• The Batman Obsession: Running joke as Johnson repeatedly identifies with Batman/Bruce Wayne—Klepper mocks his attempts to be “cool.”
  • Quote: “I want Batman to stay Batman, not turn into antifa man. So I’m a big Batman fan.” — Benny Johnson (37:43)
• On-Site Reporting Parody: Over-serious, “let’s frickin cook” escapades with Trump and constant Batman references.
  • Klepper: "You are the nipples on George Clooney’s Batman suit. Yes, that’s a gross appendage that years from now, history would prefer to forget." (40:20)

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6. Mike Lindell TV: The “QAnon QVC” Channel

(42:10 – 49:38)

• Overview: MyPillow CEO Mike Lindell launches “Lindell TV”—a network of right-wing programming, including Steve Bannon’s War Room, Diamond and Silk, and Rudy Giuliani Show.
  • Lindell’s Rules: “You can’t say the C word, the N word, the F word, and you can’t use God’s name in vain.”
  • Production Glitches: Frequent tech issues and awkward remote interviews.
    • Quote: “Edward, I’m getting that feedback like crazy again. Can you hear me okay, Vanessa, I can hear you.” — Mike Lindell (43:46)
  • “Diamond In Memoriam”: “Trumpsyopresident.com, download the song, use it as a ringtone. …get your boogie oogie woogie on.” (45:08-45:36)
• Products Everywhere: The supposed “news” channel filled with endless MyPillow product ads (coffee, towels, sheets, etc.).
  • Klepper: “He’s doing a bedsheet ad inside an energy drink ad. For the man so hopped up on caffeine he keeps shitting his sheets.” (48:49)
• White House Access: Lindell TV takes up space in the White House briefing room; their questions are fawning.
  • Question: “Is he [the President] eating less McDonald’s?” — Lindell TV reporter (47:41)
• Satirical Point: “It’s not ad-supported news; it’s news-supported ads. ...They’re already in the White House while traditional media is dead outside.” (49:35)

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Notable Quotes

• Jordan Klepper: “The way you know you’re speaking truth to power is when power tells you what a great question.” (05:49)
• On Tim Pool: “You can’t be pushing Russian propaganda. It doesn’t matter how much they’re paying you. ...$100,000 per episode to Tim Pool. $100,000. Me in my front hole.” (14:53)
• On Scott Jennings: “Worst Jeopardy contestant ever. ...Pretty soon he’s gonna get those arm tats and won’t shut up about his therapist. We get it, Jonah.” (16:26)
• On Benny Johnson: “How bad of a writer do you have to be to cheat on a buzzfeed article with Yahoo Answers?” (34:14), “You are the nipples on George Clooney’s Batman suit.” (40:20)
• On Mike Lindell TV: “Lindell TV is so much more than one man in his foyer aimlessly asking for tactical support. It’s cementing its Judeo Christian legacy with marquee shows like War Room with Steve Bannon, where MAGA gets its marching orders from a man losing a forever war with washing his face.” (44:12)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

• Brian Glenn Segment: 01:14 – 07:37
• Tim Pool Feature: 08:49 – 15:00
• Scott Jennings Deep-Dive: 15:55 – 22:18
• Lawrence Jones Profile: 25:37 – 32:13
• Benny Johnson Exposé: 32:58 – 40:20
• Mike Lindell TV Breakdown: 42:10 – 49:38

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

• Tone: Satirical, biting, mocking yet deeply informative about the state of media
• Key Insight: The rise of “new media” on the right has ushered in an era where access and spectacle matter more than integrity. Amid shams and shills, the barriers between journalism and performance have all but collapsed—often with direct consequences for democracy and public trust.
• Memorable Moment: “You are the nipples on George Clooney’s Batman suit.” (Jordan Klepper, 40:20)

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For those who missed the episode:
The show is an immersive, comedic roast of the new crop of right-wing influencers supplanting traditional journalists. Through extended sketches, biting clips, and relentless satire, Jordan Klepper and The Daily Show team illuminate not just the personalities but the perverse incentives and erosion of standards that define contemporary news media.

Transcript

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[Jordan Klepper]

You're listening to comedy. It's no secret that journalism is in a state of crisis. But in this new media landscape, new stars are emerging every day. So to find out who some of them are, we go to Jordan Klepper. In our new segment, News to meet ya. Tonight we highlight a journalist who has quickly established himself as the new paragon of the free press. Chief White House correspondent for real America's Voice, Brian Glenn, who recently made a name for himself when he pressed Ukrainian president Zelensky on a matter of global importance.

[Brian Glenn]

Why don't you wear a suit? Why don't you wear a suit? You're at the highest level in this country's office and you refuse to wear a suit.

[Ukrainian President Zelensky]

Thank you.

[Jordan Klepper]

Thank you. Finally, the questions that matter now. Most lamestream reporters would never dream of asking a question like that. They'd call it so stupid or unnecessary or. Jesus Christ, Brian, the man's fighting for his country's survival. What kind of question is that? That is not Glenn's style. And if this was your first time hearing about Brian Glenn, then Good sir, you need to accept your uncle's Facebook friend request. Glenn got his start in Dallas to Texas, where he honed his craft covering the most dangerous stories.

[Brian Glenn]

All right, do I just jump in? 1, 2, 3.

[Mike Lindell]

Just invited me to go dance. I'm gonna jump up here real quick. Reporting.

[Jordan Klepper]

Woo.

[Mike Lindell]

Everybody follow me.

[Brian Glenn]

You can see we got some dance moves here. Now this is something that you obviously I have. There we go. I like this one right here. Out here in the stables this morning as these horses are enjoying some breakfast. And you know what? I am ready for some racing.

[Jordan Klepper]

Yes. Now there's a man who knows how to dress appropriately for work. Take notes, Olymp. Right here. Glenn has proved time and time again that good journalism comes down to grit, heart, proximity to horses, and above all, costumes.

[Brian Glenn]

I'm kicking these shoes off, but I may keep the pantyhose on. It does feel kinda good, actually.

[Jordan Klepper]

Wow. Wow, what courage, what bravery. I mean, dressing in drag in Texas. I mean, reporters haven't put their asses on the line like that since Saigon. So naturally, it was only a matter of time before Glenn was hired by Right side Broadcasting Network, which is as legitimate as it sounds. And it was there at RSBN where he combined his love of human interest stories with his hate of most of human beings.

[Brian Glenn]

Liberal women tend to be some of the ugliest women I've ever seen. And I'm serious. I mean, zero makeup. They take no pride in. Well, they want to be men. They take no pride in their dress, their attire, their makeup, their haircut. Half of them look like men. Hairy armpits, hairy legs. Come on. That is not embracing what it means to be a woman.

[Jordan Klepper]

Wow. I love hearing about women's looks from a guy whose general vibe is sunburnt divorcee who's no longer allowed in his kids t ball games. You know what? There's something here. There's something right here. People don't want spin. They want reporters. Unbiased, fact based, hard news about which voters they bang. And it was these hot takes that brought Glenn all the way from the campaign trail to the steps of Air Force One.

[Brian Glenn]

A lot of Americans think that this is symbolic of what your campaign was all about. America first, putting the American people first. Your thoughts on that?

[Mike Lindell]

We are.

[Ukrainian President Zelensky]

Thank you. I like that question. Boy, I want more questions like that. That's even a statement.

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah, Brian, Glenn's questions are so good. They're actually just statements. You know what? It's all a clever setup. Like a. Like a hunter setting a trap. Butter him up and then hit him hard. Show them how it's done. Brian.

[Brian Glenn]

Let's talk about your polling numbers nationally. You're just crushing Biden. It continues to go up. Thoughts on that?

[Ukrainian President Zelensky]

He just said I'm crushing Biden in the polls. That's true. I appreciate that question. Thank you, Brian.

[Jordan Klepper]

Thank you very much. Oh, amazing reportage. The way you know you're speaking truth to power is when power tells you what a great question. It's like if Frost Nixon was just Nixon. And these days, Brian Glenn is showing he'll chase down a story no matter where it takes him. From the streets to the sheets. Brian Glenn from Real America's Voice.

[Benny Johnson]

He is the boyfriend of Marjorie Taylor Greene.

[Brian Glenn]

There you have it. Marjorie Taylor Greene, thank you so much for joining me today and I'm sure I will see you a little bit later.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

Okay, I'll see you later.

[Jordan Klepper]

Oh, I'll see you later for the sex band. Can you feel that erotic heat? You know? Oh, violating journalistic ethics by not disclosing you're sleeping with the politician you're interviewing is wrong. I don't want to be right. And man, think about this. Think about this relationship. What does Marjorie Taylor Greene hate most in the world? Jews, maybe. But right after that, reporters and drag queens. And Brian Glenn is both. You know what? That's. That's the power of good journalism. It doesn't just change minds, it changes hearts. So kudos to you, Brian Glenn. You went from embarrassing yourself on local news to embarrassing all of us on the national stage. But hey, at least you wore a suit. I'm Jordan Klepper. Good night and seriously, good luck.

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[Jordan Klepper]

Ever since President Trump took office, he's been attacking the establishment press harder than Elon's face by his own kids. And now the Trump administration is welcoming a crop of new media reporters to the White House. In fact, they're not just replacing old media, they're great replacing them.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

Starting today, this seat in the front of the room, which is usually occupied by the press secretary's staff, will be called the new media seat. We have an individual in our new media seat today. His name is Tim Poole.

[Jordan Klepper]

Okay. All right. Lovely to meet you. Tim Pool, a YouTuber and I'm assuming, former GameStop employee. Now, his head might be cold, but he's in the hot seat. Let's hear him hold this administration's feet to the fire.

[Tim Pool]

Many of the news organizations that are represented in this room have marked in lockstep on false narratives, such as the Very Fine People hoax, the Covington smear, and now what's being called the Maryland man hoax. I'm wondering if you could comment on that unprofessional behavior.

[Jordan Klepper]

Wow. Wow. Now that's a great question. Everyone in this room sucks. Do you care to comment? Okay. Okay. So the Trump administration has brought in the perfect weapon, someone who can attack the media from within the media. He's like a wolf in sheep's clothing. If that clothing came from Hot Topic. You know what? You know what? Looks can be deceiving. If he has White House credentials, I'm sure he brings the dignified, well sourced positions that we expect from qualified journalists.

[Tim Pool]

You've got stories of migrants grilling cats and slaughtering mammals in the street. The left are like, women only get paid $0.73 on the dollar for what a man makes. But at the same time, you have this trend of ladies nights where at bars, women get discounts when they buy drinks. So spare me, dude. Because of trans issues, we must refer to the vagina as the front hole.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

What?

[Jordan Klepper]

I can't believe what my upper side holes are hearing. My middle face hole is a gape. My back hole is clenched. Are we all caught up here on how we're doing? You know what? This is just how new media talks. If you're offended by that, you're stuck in the old legacy media world and don't understand what an alpha this guy is. He's cool, tough, and you know what? The ladies love them.

[Tim Pool]

We're gonna end up with a generation of women who view almost all men as inadequate. I think it's crazy that I'm about to be 34 and I have no family. You know what the problem is, though? It's definitely not me. I think it's to everybody else.

[Jordan Klepper]

I'm gonna play this hand blind and say it's definitely you. Tim, hold on. In fairness, I'm sure it's hard out there for guys who look like Joe Pesci's home alone stunt double.

[Ukrainian President Zelensky]

Fair.

[Jordan Klepper]

Fine. Fine. He's not great at analyzing his love life, but that doesn't mean he isn't great at analyzing the political landscape and telling us not just what's happening, but what's going to happen next. Like the predictions he made about January 6, two days prior.

[Tim Pool]

Newsweek says exclusive threat of pro Trump violence in Washington overshadows inauguration security plans. Oh, I just love the depravity of these news outlets. When did Trump tweet, go get violent and instigate violence? Trump said, be there. It'll be wild. What does that even. I'm having a party, everybody. You gotta be there.

[Jordan Klepper]

It's gonna be wild.

[Tim Pool]

What does that mean? Does that mean we're gonna bring guns and it's gonna be violent? No, it means we're gonna have a party.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Yeah, that's right, bro.

[Jordan Klepper]

You know what they say, it ain't a party until somebody drops a deuce on Nancy Pelosi's desk. Yeah, fine, fine. So new Media's Tim Pool, Jan. 6. He's not a mind reader, even though he dresses like a street magician. Still, Still. Tim can promise you this. He brings you the unbiased and unfiltered truth.

[Tim Pool]

The news you're getting comes straight from me and straight from the source. I don't have a political agenda bringing real news and not narrative to all of you.

[Jordan Klepper]

Exactly. It's truth to table journalism immune to propaganda and outside influence. Tim Pool is an honest man who cannot.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

Popular far right American influencer Tim Pool unwittingly paid by Russian state media company RT as part of an operation to influence American politics. Tim Pool promoting pro Russian narratives on

[Jordan Klepper]

a host of issues. Are you saying I shouldn't trust a man who dresses like a divorced ghost hunter? What? Whoa, whoa. No. You know what? These, these, these news reports can say whatever, but I'm sure he's not blatantly shilling for Russia.

[Tim Pool]

Ukraine is the enemy of this country. Ukraine is our enemy being funded by the Democrats. I will stress again, one of the greatest enemies of our nation right now is Ukraine. We should rescind all funding and financing, pull out all military support, and we should apologize to Russia.

[Benny Johnson]

Wow.

[Jordan Klepper]

Now that is customer service. I mean, come on, Tim, you're better than this. These allegations are true. I'm outraged. You can't be pushing Russian propaganda. It doesn't matter how much they're paying you. A new report claims that during the 2024 campaign, Russian state media funneled $100,000 per episode to Tim Pool. $100,000. Me in my front hole.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Whoa, whoa, whoa.

[Jordan Klepper]

All right, all right. So. So what have we learned here today? We learned that Tim Pool has been compromised by Russian interests. However, the good news is I have not. Give me a call, Vlad. For the right price, this face hole can be all yours. Das Vidana, comrades. I'm Jordan Klepper. Good night and seriously, good luck. If you're one of the dozens of people who have tuned into CNN recently, you've probably seen a lot of this.

[Scott Jennings]

Wait a minute. What am I lying about?

[Jordan Klepper]

You're lying. You're lying, Scott. I don't care.

[Scott Jennings]

I don't care who appointed him. I don't care.

[Jordan Klepper]

Here's what I do care about.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

They are on basic facts. They are

[Jordan Klepper]

accusing her of being a Holocaust.

[Scott Jennings]

Let me educate you.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

No, no, no.

[Scott Jennings]

You don't need to. You don't. You don't need to be condescending to me. So let me educate you about my position.

[Jordan Klepper]

I'm sorry, I didn't catch all of that. Now, if you don't know, the. The southern gentleman the other eight people were screaming at is this guy, Scott Jennings, senior CNN commentator and bitter enemy of the von Trapp family Singers. Now, before becoming the conservative face of cnn, he got a start in politics, smoothing over dubious activity for the second Bush administration.

[Scott Jennings]

White House aide Scott Jennings, the 29 year old wunderkind, part of a nefarious White House scheme to systematically fire disobedient US Attorneys. Jennings declined to answer most questions in the face of sharp complaints from Democrats. Senator, pursuant to the President's assertion, I must respectfully decline to answer that question at this time. I must respectfully decline to answer your questions. I'm gonna have to decline to answer that question. I'll have to decline to answer that.

[Jordan Klepper]

Wow. Worst Jeopardy contestant ever. I mean, not the point, but his transformation is full. Jonah Hill here. Pretty soon he's gonna. He's gonna get those arm tats and won't shut up about his therapist. We get it, Jonah. But that was the last time Jennings would ever decline to share his opinion because he soon joined cnn, where he made a name for himself as a rare conservative voice who would openly attack Donald Trump.

[Scott Jennings]

He's clearly violated his oath of office to preserve, protect, and defend the Constitution. This is outrageous. It's beyond the pale. Every Republican ought to be able to say so. We need a new nominee. If we nominate him again, we will lose. It sounds like an unhinged, deranged person has gotten loose and may be a danger to themselves and others.

[Jordan Klepper]

Exactly. Scott Jennings is a principled man who knows Donald Trump is a danger to the party. He's not gonna backtrack. You're certainly not gonna see Donald Trump suddenly praising him for his total compliance, say, I don't know. Two years later, you know, we have

[Ukrainian President Zelensky]

a man here that I don't know, but he's defending me all the time on cnn, and he defends me really well. Scott Jennings.

[Jordan Klepper]

Dear Scott,

[Scott Jennings]

we were flying in here today and I said, look at these farms. I gotta get a farm in Michigan, because when you own as many libs as I do, you gotta put a place to put em all.

[Jordan Klepper]

And the person sitting next to him on the plane said, okay, I'm gonna put my headphones in now and just listen to a podcast. Cool, Cool. So how did Jennings metamorphosize from principled caterpillar to craven butterfly? Well, after a few years on cnn, Scott Jennings realized that bucking the establishment was hard and shouting MAGA talking points was easy and fun.

[Scott Jennings]

Democrats care more about dudes who want to become women than dudes who just want to be. Well, Democrats. They are for things. Illegal aliens. You're for boys and girls sports. There's thousands of Hitlers running around this country right now, running around college campuses, running around New York City. Those are the Hitlers on the.

[Jordan Klepper]

Okay, okay, in fairness, the Times Square Hitlers are just Venezuelan guys in Hitler outfits. You know, when it comes to spotting Nazis, Jennings has proven he has a keen eye. Watch him hear Hitler splain to his colleagues after Elon Musk gave a Sieg Heil salute in public.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

What do you mean?

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

Come on?

[Scott Jennings]

I mean, you are way off the rails.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

I think it's kind of I'm off the rails. You're the one who defended Sig Heiling as a normal activity.

[Scott Jennings]

This salute truther ism is outrageous.

[Jordan Klepper]

This is the most.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

Don't do it right now.

[Jordan Klepper]

This is the biggest conspiracy right now on tv.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

If you think it's normal. If you think this is a normal way to greet people, do it right now on tv. Why won't you? I want to redirect us here.

[Jordan Klepper]

Oh, my favorite game, Truth or dare or Nazi? You know what? Let's goose step in another direction, shall we? Because Scott Jennings is not all Nazis and lib farming. He also knows how to have a good time.

[Scott Jennings]

The Republicans have become the fun party. We're the fun party. We're the fun party, America. It's the fun party once again.

[Mike Lindell]

Oh, we don't need to stand up.

[Scott Jennings]

It's cool to be a Republican, Chuck.

[Jordan Klepper]

Julie, we need to stand up.

[Scott Jennings]

Julie, I invite you to get in on it.

[Jordan Klepper]

We're back, baby.

[Scott Jennings]

We're back, baby.

[Jordan Klepper]

And they say white people can't dance. Sorry, I read that wrong. They say white people can't dance. And they're right, of course. Jennings antics started to garner him more camera time, so he continued to roll out funnier and funnier bits.

[Scott Jennings]

Some of these countries are basically irrelevant, you know, Kazakhstan, whatever. Some of them are more relevant. But you know, you're going to hear

[Jordan Klepper]

from the Kazakhs on the show. Keep going.

[Scott Jennings]

Very nice.

[Jordan Klepper]

Nailed it. Oh, man, that is a killer. Borat in 2025. I mean, does he do this at home? I'd hate to be his wife

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now.

[Jordan Klepper]

You'd think debasing yourself with a Borat impression on CNN might be the end of your career. But now that there are rumors that Jennings could replace Mitch McConnell, which is shocking, frankly, I didn't know it was even possible to switch places with Mitch McConnell through an election. I thought the only path involved was breaking an ancient curse. But I'm not going to ask Scott Jennings just one question. It would be this. Do you actually believe in this Trump shit or are you just shamelessly parroting MAGA talking points to gain access into our country's highest halls of power, I

[Scott Jennings]

must respectfully decline to answer your question.

[Jordan Klepper]

Fair enough. Good night and good night.

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[Jordan Klepper]

When it comes to Fox News hosts, there's definitely a type. You've got your blondes, your other blondes, your dirty blondes, your youthful blondes, your shrieking blondes. And of course, there's at least one person on Fox that breaks the mold. Fox and Friends co host Lawrence Jones. And what might initially stand out is that he's a black reporter on a mostly white network for mostly white people. But that doesn't bother Lawrence. In fact, he's well aware of the optics.

[Lawrence Jones]

When someone is hearing about Fox News, I think the elephant in the room is they don't expect someone that looks like me. I'm a black man. And I'm also a conservative. Not a Republican member. I'm a conservative. I'm a libertarian. I say, well, I'm a libertarian. You're a strong Republican conservative man. And sometimes I disagree with the party. He goes, well, that won't be a problem. When we disagree, you just be you.

[Jordan Klepper]

Great. Great. He's a free thinker ready to challenge the status quo. This isn't your father's Fox News host. That guy was fired for sexual harassment eight years ago. No. The network is excited to welcome a fresh, diverse staff. And I'm sure his co workers won't make it awkward in any way. Hello, brother.

[Lawrence Jones]

I'm back in studio with you.

[Jordan Klepper]

Well, bro, what on earth is going on here? What's with that in your head?

[Brian Glenn]

The part.

[Lawrence Jones]

You said you love the part. It's flavor. We gotta bring some flavor.

[Jordan Klepper]

Is that a Nike swoosh?

[Lawrence Jones]

It's like it's a part.

[Jordan Klepper]

A part.

[Lawrence Jones]

It's a part. Yeah.

[Jordan Klepper]

Well, brother, your time's up. Security. But when he wasn't explaining his hair to Stuart Varney, Lawrence was out in the field conducting diner focus groups, shoving his microphone into the syrup smeared faces of the MAGA faithful.

[Lawrence Jones]

Sir, how do you feel about this economy under Joe Biden?

[Mike Lindell]

Terrible.

[Lawrence Jones]

We're talking about the former president being under prosecution right now. What do you make of it? Do you think that it's fair you say that you're going for. For Donald Trump and McCormick? The question is why? 78% of Americans are living paycheck to paycheck. Sir, how do you feel about this economy? What do you think about that? That trash comment? You seem just like an average day woman.

[Jordan Klepper]

You seem just like an average day woman. Smooth with the ladies there, Lawrence. Woo. Yeah, she's a Wednesday, folks, but with a little makeup, she could be a late afternoon Thursday. Now, eventually, Lawrence landed his own show where he honed his interviewing talents on the streets.

[Lawrence Jones]

We begin tonight right here in New York City where we see cops being shot on a daily basis. Do you feel safe in the city?

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

I don't feel unsafe walking around or doing anything.

[Scott Jennings]

Absolutely. I think I trust the police force a lot and I think that the city is back and rejuvenated and so there are people out all the time. And yet I feel safe.

[Lawrence Jones]

Do you feel safe in the city?

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah, I do.

[Lawrence Jones]

Frankly, I didn't expect those responses.

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah, yeah. Because you only watch Fox News. You know what? And just a quick note. If you're trying to paint a city as dangerous, maybe don't do it from an artisanal farmer's market. The scariest thing there is the markup on heirloom tomatoes. Regardless, Lawrence quickly became Fox's most dependable man on the street reporter. They could send him anywhere. And I mean anywhere. Watch these two clips that could not have more different energies.

[Lawrence Jones]

So tell me, how do y' all start yalls day?

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Morning, Christine. Two things you can't live without. Two things you can't live without. Bronzer and cocaine. Wake up. Put on bronzer. Cocaine, we're good for the day.

[Lawrence Jones]

Bronzer, then cocaine.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

And now I'm a senior oncologist.

[Lawrence Jones]

So we're back at Torah Academy of Bergen County. I just want to bring in the panel back in.

[Jordan Klepper]

What does the Torah say about bronzer and cocaine? But Lawrence's beat wasn't just hard drugs and Judaism. No. Fox also sent him down to the border to report live from the war zone, Fox News reporter contributor Lawrence Jones. Is there anyone that believes this is a manufactured crisis?

[Lawrence Jones]

I'm standing right on the border by the Rio Grande. It's right behind me. They didn't just tell me that it was a crisis. They actually showed me the crisis on the border.

[Jordan Klepper]

It is a crisis, Sean. They stole one of my earpods. Crisis. Also, quick question, Lawrence. Did that bulletproof vest shrink in the wash? I mean, it's supposed to cover more than just your nipples. Are you running a marathon? What's happening here? Regardless of the ill fitting apparel going on Fox, whose assignments can be a humiliating experience. But Lawrence prides himself as a free thinker, a libertarian who will challenge Fox orthodoxy. So when he actually had the chance to sit down next to the most powerful person on the planet, I'm sure he took his opportunity to ask the questions no one else on Fox News was brave enough to ask.

[Lawrence Jones]

We got a six year old from Massachusetts and he wants to know about your favorite animal.

[Ukrainian President Zelensky]

I love cows.

[Jordan Klepper]

I love cows. No heifers. No heifers. Cows. The truth is, while Lawrence may tout his outsider perspective and claim he's not what viewers are used to, if you listen close, he's just another Fox blonde. People are so sick of all the woke nonsense.

[Lawrence Jones]

We've just gotten so crazy with this woke nonsense.

[Jordan Klepper]

White privilege doesn't have a legal definition.

[Lawrence Jones]

I don't believe in the whole notion of white privilege.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

And these are the same people who can't even define what a woman is.

[Lawrence Jones]

They can't even define what a woman is.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

We can't even protect our own borders.

[Lawrence Jones]

We cannot protect the border.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

They're paid professional agitators.

[Lawrence Jones]

There's a lot of paid professional protesters.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

They're indoctrinating our kids.

[Lawrence Jones]

They're indoctrinating our kids. It's an indoctrination cesspool.

[Jordan Klepper]

Wow. Wow. Lawrence, no offense, but. But you seem like an average day Fox News host. Sorry. Good night. Good luck. Lately, President Trump has been introducing a slew of new to the White House press pool, including social media star and fellow forehead American Benny Johnson. Lucky for us, he's not afraid to hold the powerful accountable and ask the tough questions.

[Benny Johnson]

Will the president consider giving the Presidential Medal of Freedom to big balls?

[Jordan Klepper]

That's a very important question. Be the first Medal of Freedom awarded to a human scrotum since Rush Limbaugh? Now, it is these. It is these kinds of bold and very wrinkly questions that Benny Johnson has been asking for years on his creatively titled programs like the Benny show, the Benny Report, Benny Brews, and Benny on the Block, and of course, Breaking Benny Two and a Half Bennies, and the Kelly Clarkson show featuring Benny Johnson. But before he was getting literally a billion views online, Benny worked at storied news outlets like Breitbart, the Blaze, and buzzfeed, where he honed a unique perspective that was definitely authentic and original.

[Sponsor/Ad Narrator]

BuzzFeed announced it was firing its viral

[Jordan Klepper]

politics editor, Benny Johnson for plagiarism. Johnson wholesale copied words and entire phrases from the Guardian, U.S. news World Report, and even Yahoo. Answers.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Wow.

[Jordan Klepper]

How bad of a writer do you have to be to cheat on a buzzfeed article with Yahoo. Answers? Yahoo. Answers, the website that bravely adds, what if Wikipedia was written by guys who scrawl graffiti in public toilets? But now that he's no longer at buzzfeed, he's not forced to write drivel like which Harry Potter house matches your Disney princess style? I'm a Hufflepuff moana. But that's beside the point. Benny is now free to talk politics. Give us a taste.

[Benny Johnson]

Every single thing you hate about your life right now or American culture is caused by mass immigration. American cities are treasures, and we should not sacrifice them to the mongoloid horde. White rage is how you win a war. Leftists are a death cult. Save this country from literal demons, from Satanists and from scum.

[Jordan Klepper]

You Slytherin. Elsa. Bitch. Wow.

[Scott Jennings]

Wow.

[Jordan Klepper]

Maybe we were too hard on plagiarism. You know, regardless Benny's constant stream of vitriol and cruelty has reaped him billions of views. Frankly, it blows my mind that someone this unoriginal and derivative can garner such online attention. And the ear of the President. I mean, what am I missing? Some of the most famous, most viewed right wing online influencers were being paid by Russia. Part of a Kremlin backed campaign to fuel Russian narratives. Among those stars, Benny Johnson. Oh, he's just being paid by foreign forces to destroy America from within.

[Mike Lindell]

Phew.

[Jordan Klepper]

I thought my neighbors actually liked the guy. You know what? His popularity can't just all be Russia putting their finger on the scale. Perhaps there's a star quality there. Show me the undeniable charisma. Benny, What's going on?

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Whoa,

[Jordan Klepper]

Benny, that's the good. The first good question I've heard you ask. What is. He dances like a jabberwocky with polio. Now, I know J.D. vance said we don't have to apologize for being white anymore, but on behalf of the whites, I'm sorry you all had to see that. But you know what? You know what? Hey, you know what? You know what? You don't have to have coordinated limbs or a toddler's sense of rhythm to be compelling. Hit us with your classic Benny Johnson charm and humor.

[Benny Johnson]

Welcome to the Benny Report. I'm Batman. Actually, I'm Benny Johnson.

[Jordan Klepper]

Okay, okay.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

For a second, I thought he was Batman.

[Jordan Klepper]

You got me, Benny. And I'll tell you what, if you like that Batman reference, don't worry about. There's plenty more.

[Benny Johnson]

Have you ever watched the Dark Knight? Arguably the greatest superhero film of all time. The scene when Batman, like, comes up through the floor and there's like seven bad guys and they're like. And Batman just takes them all out. I want Batman to stay Batman, not turn into antifa man. So I'm a big Batman fan. We're gonna begin by saying Batman for your boy.

[Jordan Klepper]

No, no, no, no. We are not. We are adults, and we.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Yes,

[Jordan Klepper]

adults. And we do adult things like crossword puzzles, buy orthotic inserts, and drink quietly over the sink after our wife goes to bed. We do adult things. But, yeah, Benny loves Batman so much, he even released an AI video of himself dressed as Batman and punching immigrants in a Walmart parking lot. I know what you're thinking, what a xenophobic and cruel vision of Batman. But it's still better than the George Clooney one. We're all thinking of it. We're all thinking it. You know what? I know I'm going to Hate this answer, but what is it about the caped Crusader you even like so much?

[Benny Johnson]

Benny, both Trump and Batman are rich, mysterious, unpredictable guys. They own skyscrapers in Gotham.

[Jordan Klepper]

Okay, so your favorite thing about Batman is that he's rich and owns buildings. Benny, you don't like Batman. You like Bruce Wayne. Benny Johnson watches Batman fighting the Joker. Like boo. You're missing the black tie gala for this. I gotta admit. Benny, Benny, you're running out of chances to win me over here. Can you show me anything that proves you have the goods to speak truth to power?

[Benny Johnson]

What's up, guys? It's Benny. We are taking you inside alligator Alcatraz today with President Trump in one of the most deadly spots on earth. The middle of the Florida Everglades. Let's frickin cook. This is gonna be a wild one. We're in rock and roll. So come along with us on a nice raid in Chicago.

[Jordan Klepper]

Let's go.

[Benny Johnson]

Let's rock and roll.

[Jordan Klepper]

Ooh, yeah. Nothing says let's rock and roll like a quarter zip and some Warby Parker. Although I will say one thing I liked. Not one mention of Batman underneath Chicago.

[Benny Johnson]

You recognize some of these tunnels from the actual Dark Knight series?

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

God damn it.

[Jordan Klepper]

Damn it. For the last time, you are not Batman. You are a thirsty influencer. Cosplaying as a journalist at best. You are the nipples on George Clooney's Batman suit. Yes, that's a gross appendage that years from now, history would prefer to forget. At least I think that's true. According to Yahoo Answers. I'm Jordan Klepper. Good night and seriously, good luck.

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Amazon present Jeff versus Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's verde roja or the orange one. For Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea and milk habanero. More Like Habanero. Yes. Save the amount every day with Amazon.

[Jordan Klepper]

In today's fragmented media environment, it can be hard to know which news sources you can trust. Even I don't always know where to turn. If only there was some truth teller out there that would answer the call.

[Mike Lindell]

I'm here today to announce Lindale TV. We have 24.7TV with all your favorite hosts.

[Jordan Klepper]

Yes, 24.7news from the. My Pillow guy. It just makes sense when you know Mike Lindell, the former crackhead, current candidate for governor of Minnesota, and inventor of the only pillow stuffed exclusively with shredded lawsuits against Mike Lindell. Now, you may not have seen Lindell TV because you haven't been in a waiting room of a dentist who uses crystal meth as an anesthetic. So let me introduce you to this innovative media pioneer who lives by a set of core news values.

[Mike Lindell]

This Judeo Christian platform we're gonna have here, they go by biblical principles. So in other words, you're not gonna have porn up there. You can't say the C word, the N word, the F word, and you can't use God's name in vain. What a concept, right?

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah, an amazing concept. I'm so tired of Wolf Blitzer showing me porn and calling God a. Now, the elites might tell you that a pillow company that has been banned from Walmart has no business in journalism. But much like his products, Lindell TV is flawless.

[Mike Lindell]

Hello, everybody, and welcome to the Lindell Show. Here. Edward, I'm getting that feedback like crazy again. Can you hear me okay, Vanessa, I can hear you. Yeah. Okay, how about now?

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

I can hear you.

[Mike Lindell]

Vanessa. Can you hear me?

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

Hear you.

[Jordan Klepper]

We can hear you, Mike. The whole world can hear you. Or at least the 98 people who have watched this clip can hear you. You know what? Lindell TV is so much more than one man in his foyer aimlessly asking for tactical support. It's cementing its Judeo Christian legacy with marquee shows like the War Room with Steve Bannon, where MAGA gets its marching orders from a man losing a forever war with washing his face. Then there's famed Trump supporters Diamond and Silk, featuring Silk, and an intro that still honors the legacy of the late Diamond. And I promise you, this is unedited.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Hey, yo, drop that beat. Trump's your president. He's your president. He's your president.

[Jordan Klepper]

Wow, that In Memoriam is a banger. I mean, I Wish it was 2003 so I could download that song as my ringtone.

[Lawrence Jones]

TrumpSyopresident.com Download the song Use it as a ringtone. Add it to your playlist so you

[Jordan Klepper]

can get your boogie oogie woogie on perfect. It's the classic journalism technique of getting to the who, what, where, and woogie oogie of the story. All of it being broadcast from what appears to be Diamond's wake. I mean, look at that painting of Diamond, Trump and Silk tastefully shoved behind an ottoman. Everything so meticulously arranged by Lindell TV's production designer slash funeral director. But if you still need more news, there's the Rudy Giuliani show, which, like diamond and Silk, also appears to be hosted by a dead person. Good evening, this is Rudy Giuliani. And this is Rudy Giuliani show on Lindell tv. Live from death's door, it's Rudy Giuliani. Jesus, Rudy, what's with the full body brace, man? Apparently Lindell TV doesn't offer sick days for a collapsed spine. But their programming is vast. There's scriptures and Wall street, the counterculture mom show, and Maha with Mike. And you know what? Trust me, this Mike guy is sharp.

[Scott Jennings]

Good morning, Maha nation.

[Jordan Klepper]

This is Maha Bike. Oh, oh, did he say Maha Bike? Missed it by this much. You know, not to go all lamestream media, but I'm going to have to fact check you on your own name there, Bichel. Now look, sorry, Bike. Look, you might argue a network of this caliber belongs nowhere near the White House. And to that I say, they're already in the White House. Starting with Lindell TV reporter Kara Castronova, who. Who isn't afraid to hold this administration's feet to the fire.

[Interviewer/Host or Supporting Voice]

Will you guys also consider releasing the president's fitness plan? He actually looks healthier than ever before. Healthier than he did eight years ago. And I'm sure everybody in this room could agree. Is he working out with Bobby Kennedy? And is he eating less McDonald's?

[Jordan Klepper]

Yes. Quick follow up. How does he get those round sweet Cinnabon ankles, huh? And hand bruises so taut you can could sink a quarter into them. But despite Lindell TV's trove of magnetic on air personalities, it's easy to forget the real star of the network. The ads for Mike Lindell's products.

[Mike Lindell]

It's finally here. Our second annual mega sale. My new towels. With proprietary technology, my coffee is now available on mypillow.com that's lindelloilboom.com start collecting oil royalty checks. The next generation of energy drinks. Rev7. I'm so sure you're gonna love Rev7 that for a limited time you can try our three pack absolutely free. Or check out our Perkel bed sheets.

[Jordan Klepper]

He's doing a bedsheet ad inside an energy drink ad. For the man so hopped up on caffe he keeps shitting his sheets. Don't call it quits. Reload. But this is what new media looks like. It's not so much ad supported news as it is news supported ads. And it might be easy to write off Lindell TV as QAnon QVC, but the fact is they're the ones living in the Pentagon briefing room while the traditional news media is dead outside. If only there was a a way to send off those dearly departed reporters with a little bit of dignity.

[Audience/Interjection Voice]

Trump Show

[Jordan Klepper]

President I'm Jordan Klepper. Good night and seriously, good luck.

[Mike Lindell]

Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 111110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus,

[Lawrence Jones]

this has been a Comedy Central podcast.