TDS Time Machine | Summer (of the Shark)

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition – Episode Summary: "TDS Time Machine | Summer (of the Shark)"

Release Date: June 25, 2025

In the “TDS Time Machine | Summer (of the Shark)” episode of The Daily Show: Ears Edition, the host John and The Daily Show News Team, including Matt Walsh, Ronny Chieng, Desi Lydic, Trevor Noah, Jordan Klepper, and guest Stephen Colbert, navigate through a humorous yet insightful exploration of summer’s most talked-about headlines. The episode masterfully blends satire, current events, and comedic banter to engage listeners and provide a fresh perspective on familiar summer anxieties.

---

I. Introduction to the Summer of the Shark

The episode kicks off with a nostalgic trip back to Summer 2001, famously dubbed the “Summer of the Shark.” John reminisces humorously about the abundance of sharks that summer, setting the stage for a deeper dive into the phenomenon.

John: “Summer 2001 will be remembered for many things... but for me, this was the summer I finally lost it on a camping trip. None of you know her. She's from Canada. But for many, it was and remains summer of the shark.” [00:51]

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II. The Great Shark Gathering in Florida

John introduces the central theme: an unprecedented congregation of sharks off the coast of Anklote Key, Florida. Reports indicate that over 200 sharks have been spotted, leading to widespread media frenzy.

John: “The Frenzy included over 200 sharks or one shark for every six news reporters covering it.” [02:15]

Matt Walsh provides an expert analysis, likening the gathering to a “shark summit,” where various species congregate to discuss critical issues affecting their community.

Matt Walsh: “This gathering is actually an unprecedented world shark summit. Now this is a G8 for predators. All the big sharks are here... They’re also concerned about the way they're portrayed in TV and movies.” [04:10]

This segment satirizes the media’s tendency to sensationalize events, highlighting the absurdity of a massive shark gathering being treated as a global summit.

---

III. Adult Summer Camps: A Shift from Childhood Traditions

Transitioning from maritime mayhem, the discussion shifts to the rise of adult summer camps. Ronny Chieng and Desi Lydic engage in a comedic debate about adults revisiting childhood activities, juxtaposing traditional summer fun with adult-oriented camp offerings.

Desi Lydic: “What the hell is wrong with these people? In my day, when you had a midlife crisis, you bought a red Corvette and cheated on your wife. Now it's sharing bunk and making lanyards.” [07:00]

The banter underscores societal changes, poking fun at how adulthood sometimes mirrors childhood in unexpected ways.

---

IV. Total Solar Eclipse Celebrations: From Africa to Stonehenge

The conversation moves to celestial events, specifically the first total solar eclipse on the summer solstice in over 300 years. John humorously contrasts the experiences of eclipse watchers in Zambia and Stonehenge, Britain.

John: “It's the first eclipse in two years and the first in over 300 years to take place on the summer solstice... here, kids from 7 to 16 learn to crunch numbers for a product they'll later design, manufacture and market.” [18:11]

Stephen Colbert delivers a charming yet satirical recount of the eclipse's impact, blending factual information with comedic exaggeration.

Stephen Colbert: “The bright sun is gone, and it's replaced by this incredibly black disc surrounded by this pearly white corona... it's a breathtaking event which makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.” [18:27]

---

V. Debunking Summer Fears with Stephen Colbert

Stephen Colbert takes center stage in a segment aimed at debunking common summer fears, starting with the sensationalized "Summer of the Shark."

Stephen Colbert: “But they were just trying to scare us to boost their ratings. So what's the real deal? Miami Seaquarium shark expert Chris Plant set the record straight.” [12:30]

John: “To put it into perspective, more people are killed each year by fallen coconuts than sharks.” [05:55]

The segment humorously downplays the fear of shark attacks by comparing them to more mundane dangers, like falling coconuts and stairs.

Desi Lydic: “It turns out this is far from the summer of the shark. It's the summer of the anything.” [15:52]

This playful dismantling of exaggerated fears highlights the show's signature blend of humor and social commentary.

---

VI. "Prove Me Wrong" Segment: Summer Showdowns

In the popular “Prove Me Wrong” segment, the team engages in spirited debates over quintessential summer topics:

1. Pools vs. Oceans

   • Ronny Chieng: Advocates for pools as a controlled environment.
   • Trevor Noah: Defends oceans, despite highlighting their perils.

   Ronny Chieng: “During the summer, when everyone's sweaty and gross, we're all equal during the summer.” [24:11]

   Trevor Noah: “Oceans are just pools that are trying to kill you.” [25:22]

2. Pigeons vs. Seagulls

   • Ronny Chieng: Compares pigeons to “rats with wings.”
   • Trevor Noah: Criticizes their pervasive presence.

   Ronny Chieng: “Pigeons are literal, like rats with wings.” [26:12]

   Trevor Noah: “Why do you have to make this racial? We're talking about pigeons versus seagulls...” [26:23]

3. Popsicles

   • Ronny Chieng: Defends the grape popsicle flavor.
   • Trevor Noah: Critiques its unrealistic taste.

   Trevor Noah: “They make my hands sticky.” [26:38]

   Ronny Chieng: “I'm sorry. It prepares you for life.” [26:12]

Each debate is laced with sharp wit and relatable humor, encapsulating the playful yet competitive spirit of summer debates.

---

VII. Recurring Themes: Summer Dangers and Humor

Throughout the episode, recurring themes of exaggerated summer dangers are humorously addressed:

• Fallen Coconuts and Stairs: Highlighted as more lethal than sharks, adding a satirical twist on public perception.

  John: “More coconuts kill people each year than sharks do.” [12:53]

  Desi Lydic: “Potentially deadly bacteria can enter the body through a cutter, a scrape.” [30:22]

• Flesh-Eating Bacteria: Presented as a silent threat, juxtaposed with the more visible dangers like sharks.

  Stephen Colbert: “But someone who does understand the question is coconut survivor Jean Jacobs.” [13:02]

  Desi Lydic: “Be aware it's bacteria.” [30:38]

• Umbrella Accidents: Introduced as an unexpected and humorous summer hazard.

  Ronny Chieng: “Over the last 10 years, there have been reports of over 32,000 injuries related to umbrellas across the country.” [32:00]

These topics are interwoven with comedic insights, emphasizing the show's ability to find humor in everyday fears.

---

VIII. Conclusion: Embracing Summer’s Absurdities

As the episode wraps up, the hosts reflect on the variety of summer’s challenges, both real and imagined. Through sharp humor and engaging dialogue, The Daily Show encourages listeners to approach summer with a lighthearted perspective, acknowledging its quirks and dangers with laughter.

Desi Lydic: “Just turn off your air conditioning, stand in the tub with a pina colada and shove a fistful of sand up your ass. Happy Summer everybody.” [32:00]

The episode concludes on a high note, inviting listeners to embrace the season’s absurdities and enjoy the lighter side of summer.

---

Notable Quotes:

• Matt Walsh on Shark Summit: “This is a G8 for predators. All the big sharks are here.” [04:10]
• Desi Lydic on Adult Camps: “In my day, when you had a midlife crisis, you bought a red Corvette and cheated on your wife.” [07:21]
• Stephen Colbert on Coconuts: “10 deaths a year from shark attacks versus 150 from head injuries due to falling coconuts.” [13:02]
• Ronny Chieng on Pigeons: “Pigeons are literal, like rats with wings.” [26:12]

---

Final Thoughts:

“TDS Time Machine | Summer (of the Shark)” is a quintessential episode that encapsulates The Daily Show's ability to blend timely topics with enduring humor. By tackling themes ranging from wildlife gatherings to everyday summer nuisances, the show delivers a rich, engaging narrative that is both entertaining and thought-provoking. Whether you're a long-time listener or new to the podcast, this episode offers a comprehensive and amusing take on the multifaceted nature of summer.

Transcript

[John]

This is an Iheart podcast.

[Sponsor]

This episode is supported by FX's the Bear. The Emmy award winning series returns following Carmi, Sidney and Richie as they push forward, determined not only to survive, but also to take the Bear to the next level. This season, the pursuit of excellence isn't just about getting better. It's about deciding what's worth holding onto. FX is the Bear. All episodes streaming June 25th on Hulu.

[Matt Walsh]

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[John]

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[Matt Walsh]

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[Ronny Chieng]

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[Desi Lydic]

You're listening to Comedy Central.

[John]

Summer 2001 will be remembered for many things. The G8 riots, stem cell controversy, and of course, for me, this was the summer I finally lost it on a camping trip. None of you know her. She's from Canada. But for many, it was and remains summer of the shark. Okay, the scene Anklote Key, Florida, where local officials have spotted hundreds of sharks gathering in what is perhaps the largest feeding frenzy ever witnessed. The Frenzy included over 200 sharks or one shark for every six news reporters covering it. No one knows for sure why the sharks chose to congregate in this area, though marine biologists note that sharks are motivated by the same factors as humans, food and sex. It also explains the 30 minute wait outside the Tampa Hooters. Some experts believe the sharks have gathered because this area is rich with their favorite food, a stingray known as cownose ray. It's a species so named because of its resemblance to noted Delta blues man. Cownose Ray Jefferson. That took a long time to make on a computer. It's not easy with Its beaches packed with tourists slathered in coconut oil, it's not surprising that 50% of unprovoked shark attacks occur in Florida. Interestingly enough, 98% of provincial provoked shark attacks occur in the vicinity of the Trenton, New Jersey comedy club Stitches during performances by noted shark insult comic Vinnie Argado. Take a look at his incendiary work.

[Desi Lydic]

Hey.

[John]

Woo.

[Desi Lydic]

Hey.

[Matt Walsh]

We got any sharks in the audience tonight? We got a couple. Well, don't worry, I'll talk slow.

[Desi Lydic]

Seriously. Oh boy. Hey.

[Matt Walsh]

Hey, sir, is that a hammerhead or are you just clumsy? Check out the dorsal fin over here. What did you do, eat the whole kayak?

[John]

Oh, I kid.

[Matt Walsh]

But seriously, the thing about Chicago.

[John]

The, the end part there, that was the attack. All right. This gathering of sharks is the latest in what can only be inaccurately and hyperbolically described as a summer of terror for American beachgoers. Our own chief ichthyologist Matt Walsh is down in Tampa, Florida right now. Matt, what the hell is going on down there? Matt?

[Matt Walsh]

John, this gathering is actually an unprecedented world shark summit. Now this is a G8 for predators. All the big sharks are here. Blue sharks, makos, white tips. We've got a reef shark that swam all the way up from Trinidad and Tobago just to get here. John, I'm seeing hammerheads and bull sharks side by side. These guys haven't talked this openly since the I was gnawing in this torso first controversy back in Galveston in 86. You remember that cold one? Now there's also nurse sharks here too. They were actually in town for a separate conference. It just kind of worked out, if you know what I mean, John.

[John]

I think I don't. So these sharks, you're saying have actually gathered off the coast of Florida for a reason?

[Matt Walsh]

Yes, they're here to discuss a host of issues, mainly shark related overfishing, dental care. You gotta remember these guys have three times as many teeth as we do. They're also concerned about the way they're portrayed in TV and movies. I mean, they saw Deep Blue Sea, they're not amused.

[John]

All right, Matt, I understand. There certainly seems though to be quite a media presence. How close have you been able to get to the shark frenzy?

[Matt Walsh]

Not close at all. Mainly because of all the protesters.

[John]

Protesters, surfers, bathers, people that have been barred from the water.

[Matt Walsh]

No, John. Tuna, albacore, yellowtail, huge schools of chunk, lights, sashimi wearing critters.

[John]

What are they? What are they protesting? Matt?

[Matt Walsh]

One issue mainly the, the being chased down and eaten thing. Apparently they don't like it.

[John]

Well, it Seems like the sharks are dispersing now. Is there any idea where the sharks might be going?

[Matt Walsh]

You know, I don't know really at all, John. I mean, Tampa's amazing. You got Busch Gardens here. The city's home to the third largest mall in Hillsborough County. They got four Starbucks there. This probably won't hit the. They won't go to the aquarium because it's like, been here, done that. The point is, Tampa's an exciting place to be right now if you're a shark or a stripper. John.

[John]

Thank you very much, Matt. Uh, that was excellent. And they may be protest. Thank you. We'll be right back.

[Stephen Colbert]

When a news story falls through the cracks, Lewis Black catches it with a.

[Matt Walsh]

Segment we call back in.

[Desi Lydic]

Well, it's summer, which always reminds me of my childhood at camp. Canoeing, roasting marshmallows, learning how to masturbate. Or as we called it at camp, beating the Tom Tom. It's all about the beat. Nearly every adult who went to camp remembers it fondly. But, like jerking off, some people just can't let go.

[Matt Walsh]

Summer camp, it is not just for kids anymore, because more and more places, they're offering camps for adults.

[Ronny Chieng]

All the fun things that you would do as a kid, like swimming, archery, zip lining, a ropes course, even a talent show.

[John]

We have arts and crafts.

[Ronny Chieng]

There are also other camps there, too, like Space Camp. You get to go on an interactive space mission, build rockets, and train like astronauts.

[Desi Lydic]

What the hell is wrong with these people? In my day, when you had a midlife crisis, you bought a red Corvette and cheated on your wife. Now it's sharing bunk and making lanyards.

[Ronny Chieng]

Huh?

[Desi Lydic]

Stop reinventing the wheel. And don't get me started on Space Camp. Kids go to Space Camp because there's still hope they'll go to actual space. When you're a grown up, that spaceship has sailed. It would be like trying to seduce Roy MOORE when you're 47, you're 40 years too late. Oh, why don't you vote for him? But there's another reason adults are going back to camp, and it ain't archery.

[Ronny Chieng]

Play like a kid and party like a grown up is the motto at camp. No counselors. An all inclusive weekend long sleepaway camp for grownups. The all inclusive package includes lodging, food, an open bar, nightly parties, and tons of old school camp activities like wheelbarrow races and human Hungry Hungry Hippo.

[Desi Lydic]

Oh, yeah. Who doesn't love getting wasted and then getting tossed like a salad? Seriously, if I want to puke in a ball pit, I'll go to McDonald's like a normal person. Look, it's one thing for these 40 year old toddlers to ruin camp, but I refuse to stand by and watch them ruin booze. In these terrible times, it's all we have left. And besides, if all the adults are at camp pretending to be kids, who's going to do all the adult stuff?

[John]

Kids summer camps are putting away the canoes and the kayaks and instead, in some cases, teaching kids how to manage money.

[Ronny Chieng]

Attractive options for families who want their children to learn about budgets and business. Here, kids from 7 to 16 learn to crunch numbers for a product they'll later design, manufacture and market.

[Desi Lydic]

Oh, great. Just what this country needs. Even younger Wall street douchebags. I can't wait to get my house repossessed by a banker who still wears a onesie. Though. I get why these kids are being sent to learn about money. Someone's gotta pay for their parents to play drunken cornhole. Look, it's clear what's happening here. These camps trick kids into doing work while the old folks have fun in the sun. It's wrong. It's despicable. And I want in. Hey kids, why waste your summer groping each other in the woods when you can learn a trade? Here at Camp Worker Bee, you'll learn all sorts of skills. Like mowing my lawn, doing my taxes, getting things that I point at. And as an elderly person, my clothes are old and frayed. So you'll also be doing some light sewing. About 200 shirts an hour. J. Crew needs these tomorrow. Don't spend the summer just sitting on your ass. Spend it wiping my ass.

[Jordan Klepper]

There's something special about folks who come through without being asked. Like your co worker surprising you with your favorite coffee or just because. Or your friend handing you the aux cord the moment you get in the car. No debate, no fight. Just positive vibes. That kind of love. It just hits different. And that's exactly the energy AT&T is on with their new guarantee. If there's a network interruption, AT&T will proactively credit you for a full day of service. No calls, no emails, no jumping through hoops. It's just handled. It's like the universe saying, I got you. Except this time it's not the stars aligning. It's your network. And let's be real, that connection is everything. Whether you're holding down the group chat, checking in with your parents, scrolling TikTok, your network's got to come through. And if there's a problem AT AND T is on the case. No stress, no drama, just real backup when it counts credit for fiber downtime lasting 20 minutes or more or wireless downtime lasting 60 minutes or more caused by a single incident impacting 10 or more towers. Restrictions and exclusions apply. Learn [e-mail] guarantee for full details at and T Connecting changes everything.

[Sponsor]

This episode is supported by FX's the Bear. The Emmy award winning series returns following Carmi, Sidney and Richie as they push forward, determined not only to survive, but also to take the Bear to the next level. This season, the pursuit of excellence isn't just about getting better. It's about deciding what's worth holding onto. FX is the Bear. All episodes streaming June 25th on Hulu.

[Stephen Colbert]

Last year, the media tried to tell us it was the summer of the shark.

[Ronny Chieng]

Summer of the shark.

[Matt Walsh]

Summer of the sharks.

[Ronny Chieng]

The summer of the shark.

[Stephen Colbert]

But they were just trying to scare us to boost their ratings. So what's the real deal? Miami Seaquarium shark expert Chris Plant set the record straight. Is this the summer of the shark?

[John]

No.

[Stephen Colbert]

Shouldn't we be scared of these sharks?

[John]

No. Really?

[Matt Walsh]

To put it into perspective, more people are killed each year by fallen coconuts than sharks.

[Desi Lydic]

Excuse me. Wait, what's that?

[Stephen Colbert]

Did you say coconuts?

[John]

More coconuts kill people each year than sharks do.

[Stephen Colbert]

The figures don't lie. 10 deaths a year from shark attacks versus 150 from head injuries due to falling coconuts. To find out why these predators from above crave our skulls, I spoke with coconut attack expert Peter Barce. Just how dangerous are these coconuts?

[John]

Well, the kinetic energy of a falling.

[Desi Lydic]

Coconut on the head is approximately a metric time.

[Stephen Colbert]

Do these coconuts kill for food or just sport?

[John]

I don't really understand that question.

[Stephen Colbert]

But someone who does understand the question is coconut survivor Jean Jacobs. I asked her to recount her brush with the death nut.

[John]

I was cutting some shrubs that are underneath the tree and then suddenly I heard a noise and there was this coconut. I was not hit by it.

[Stephen Colbert]

Dr. Barce, is this the summer of the coconut?

[Desi Lydic]

Not to my knowledge. At the moment, one of the most.

[John]

Serious hazards we face is injuries from.

[Desi Lydic]

People falling on stairs.

[Stephen Colbert]

The shocking truth is stairs take more lives every year than even coconuts. Preying on the elderly and the uncoordinated safety code engineer Jamie Eisen. Are stairs the silent killer?

[Jordan Klepper]

By silent killer, what would you mean by that?

[Stephen Colbert]

In that they don't make noise and they can kill.

[Jordan Klepper]

On a way?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yes.

[Jordan Klepper]

If you're not careful, yes.

[Stephen Colbert]

It seemed clear that this is actually the summer of the stairs. That is, until coconut survivor Gene Jacobs dropped this little bomb.

[John]

If one is not careful or cautious in what they're doing, anything can be dangerous.

[Stephen Colbert]

And by anything, we mean, of course.

[John]

Lightning on golf courses, duck, camel bites.

[Jordan Klepper]

Bathtubs can be dangerous.

[John]

I'm allergic to some fruits, raw pineapple, and occasionally strawberries.

[Jordan Klepper]

I was burning Havana, Cuba.

[Stephen Colbert]

It turns out this is far from the summer of the shark. It's the summer of the anything.

[John]

Stephen Colbert. Now, Stephen, what's specific? Stephen?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes, John.

[John]

Stephen, what are you doing down there? Just come on up.

[Stephen Colbert]

Supporting.

[John]

Come on. Come on up and talk to us about the report. All the way up, please. Come on. I'm sorry. Is that bubble wrap?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yes, John. Get your own. This is the only thing protecting me from the meteor strikes and from the peanut allergies.

[John]

Peanut allergies?

[Stephen Colbert]

They're out there, John.

[John]

I understand.

[Stephen Colbert]

It's a dangerous world, John.

[John]

I know that. You go down there to debunk the fear tactics of the news, and you come back here wearing bubble wrap.

[Stephen Colbert]

I got kids, John. I got to.

[John]

So, what did you learn anything from going down to Florida?

[Stephen Colbert]

Yeah, John, I did. I learned there are some things we should be afraid of and some not. But I'd say if there's one thing we should be afraid of this summer.

[John]

Thank you.

[Stephen Colbert]

It'd be sharks. No, they got teeth. They smell fear, John. They feast on human flesh and they rule the night.

[John]

All right, thank you very much, Stephen. I appreciate your thoughts. Summer. Summer. People magazine called it this year's hottest season. And whether you're kicking back at a private beach or just letting your SUV idle in the parking lot with the AC on full blast, I think we can all agree it sure as hell beats living in Zambia. Even if you were one of the tens of thousands of tourists who flocked to the African nation to witness this morning's total eclipse of the sun. It's the first eclipse in two years and the first in over 300 years to take place on the summer solstice. It's a fact that some observers take as an ominous portent that this summer may bring with it many, many more boring facts. Just like that one. Got a whole book of them. So what is it like to actually see a total solar eclipse?

[Stephen Colbert]

The bright sun is gone, and it's replaced by this incredibly black disc surrounded by this pearly white corona surrounding the sun. It's a breathtaking event which makes the hair on the back of your neck stand up.

[John]

Oh, it's bad news for anyone standing behind Dan. Hedaya Even Ed Asner looks at that and goes, that's Harry. Meanwhile, In Britain, a 14 and a half thousand strong crowd of Druids, New Age followers and people who look tan but are just dirty gathered at Stonehenge to watch the sun rise on the year's longest day. Plus, police reported only five arrests during the celebration, all for minor drug offenses. And they praised the good natured crowd whose good nature was no doubt enhanced by major drug offenses. People with all sorts of things stuck in their face had nice things to say.

[Desi Lydic]

It's been really peaceful, hasn't it?

[John]

It's been really nice.

[Desi Lydic]

I'm so pleased it's been like this. I've had a really lovely night.

[John]

Yeah, you know, girl with chin stud has a good point, but what about guy with eye stud?

[Trevor Noah]

It's something that's needed organizing for a long time and they've organized it.

[John]

It's great. Guy with eye stud's right. But we still haven't heard from guy with chin stud and top of nose thing.

[Trevor Noah]

It's just all come together.

[Desi Lydic]

The feeling in the circle itself is just immense.

[John]

Guy with chin stud and top of nose thing. I think I'll miss you most of all. Makes you kind of nostalgic for the news stories of summers gone by. The ultimate summer nightmare. Great white shark. The summer of the shark.

[Ronny Chieng]

Shark attacks.

[John]

The summer of the shark. I miss those days. Nothing said summer like firing up the grill, mixing some G and T's and waiting for people to be mauled by fish. Yeah, sharks are fish. You wouldn't think they're fish, but they're fish. Even though they lack a swim bladder. It's why they have to constantly move. They lack a swim bladder. I stay still in the water because I was born with three swim bladders. Three. I'm basically nothing but swim bladder. I really, I have a feeling my Wikipedia page just changed. Three swim bladders. But summer wasn't just about sharks. This may be the summer of shark scares. But on one New Hampshire beach, the.

[Desi Lydic]

Scare came from a menacing bald eagle.

[John]

What? Kind of a menace of sharks and alligators.

[Desi Lydic]

Chilling tales of killer mosquitoes.

[Jordan Klepper]

Mmm.

[John]

Call the Sci FI Network pitch Sharquitogator. You know there's a new species on the endangered list.

[Jordan Klepper]

Man.

[John]

With multiple swim bladders. Look, I know, I know those years. I know those years also featured the non scare predatory animal based stories, but summer news, man, it was balanced. Like take last year, for example. Sure, we may have had a little. We are living in a dystopian nightmare. Where the government is watching and listening and storing everything you do. But we washed it down with a little delicious racism and gravy and a political sex scandal that spawned an international dance craze. Danger.

[Trevor Noah]

Danger.

[John]

That's what I'm talking about. I miss that guy. The guy. The guy in the blue shirt. Not the other guy. The other guy. I don't miss so much. The blue shirt. The Oliver guy, the English guy. I miss that guy. He was my friend. The heat has mushed your brains. Where's this year's fresh Secret Identity celebrity dick pic. Wait. Secret Identity celebrity dick pic. That'd be another great show to pitch to. What's that? Oh, Bravo's already making it. All right. Isn't anything innocuous threatening our shores this summer?

[Ronny Chieng]

A beachgoer shot this video of a shark. You can see it wiggling there as it moves up to shore.

[John]

That's what I'm talking about. Now we're. Now we're into it. Now we got something. Dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun, dun.

[Ronny Chieng]

Unfortunately, it was believed the shark was choking on a sea lion because the shark died a short time later.

[John]

Can't catch a break. This summer's been so depressing, the sharks are committing suicide.

[Sponsor]

This episode is supported by FX is the Bear. The Emmy award winning series returns following Carmi, Sidney and Richie as they push forward, determined not only to survive, but also to take the Bear to the next level. This season, the pursuit of excellence isn't just about getting better. It's about deciding what's worth holding onto. FX is the Bear. All episodes streaming June 25th on Hulu.

[Matt Walsh]

You know, there's so much arguing in America today, but we here at the Daily show think there could be even more. So to do our part, here's Ronny.

[Stephen Colbert]

Chang with another installment of Prove Me Wrong.

[Trevor Noah]

Ice cream vacations, long walks on the beach. I hate all that shit. Welcome to Prove Me Wrong summer edition. Summer is the worst season. Prove Me Wrong.

[Ronny Chieng]

Well, I would say summer is the season where everyone's the happiest. During the summer, everyone gets to come.

[Trevor Noah]

Outside, everybody's shirt turns into a Rorschach test.

[Ronny Chieng]

But during the summer, when everyone's sweaty and gross, everyone's sweaty and gross. We're all equal during the summer.

[Trevor Noah]

So you're making a Marxist argument for BO during summer?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, pretty much, yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

Sorry. This is the free world. The top 1% should not have BO.

[Ronny Chieng]

How do you smell?

[Trevor Noah]

Go ahead, smell me. I dare you. Smell this shit right now.

[Ronny Chieng]

You smell like me. See we're the same.

[Trevor Noah]

That's not a compliment. Pools are better than oceans. Prove me wrong.

[John]

Pools are stinky.

[Desi Lydic]

They have nasty people that go in there. They're just getting with their funky bodies.

[John]

And their sweaty cells and just plop up in there.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah. You think people don't pee and poop in the ocean? It's not just people, by the way. You think whales are coming on land to take a shit?

[Desi Lydic]

Yeah, if they want to.

[Trevor Noah]

No, they're not. They're shitting in the ocean, okay? It's whales, it's jellyfish, it's seals, it's octopus. It's every thing in there just shitting into your mouth. Oceans are just pools that are trying to kill you. Do you have any shark sightings? I've been here this last week. There's five.

[Ronny Chieng]

Did you see the shark?

[Matt Walsh]

No.

[John]

Interesting.

[Ronny Chieng]

Interesting.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, so your argument is I didn't see the shark, so therefore the ocean is safe. Well, good luck out there.

[Ronny Chieng]

I've never seen a shark at the beach myself.

[Trevor Noah]

So what? You're a shark denier. You can't get food from the. From pools either.

[Desi Lydic]

There's no fish in pools.

[Trevor Noah]

But in the ocean, I'd be sustaining myself. Fresh coconuts, fresh fish. You can't eat anything near the ocean. The sand gets in it. Protein. Put your money where your mouth is. This is food. This is your food on the beach. Do it. Is that good enough for you? Okay, I got some bad news for you. There's no protein in sand. Get the out of here.

[John]

Thanks for the fries.

[Trevor Noah]

Thanks, bro. Pigeons are better than seagulls. Prove me wrong.

[Ronny Chieng]

Pigeons are literal, like rats with wings. Genetically, they used to be white, but then out of, like, Darwinism and. And like, after all these years, they actually turn black to adapt to, like, certain environments. And they're so gross.

[Trevor Noah]

Why do you have to make this racial? We're talking about pigeons versus seagulls, not why are pigeons black? How much Infowars do you watch?

[Ronny Chieng]

No, but it's like, just over time. Like, they start. Genetically, they used to be white, but genetically, over time, they, like, people have.

[Trevor Noah]

Been canceled for less than that. Popsicles are gross. Prove me wrong.

[John]

Why are popsicles gross?

[Trevor Noah]

I don't need to watch someone fellate a dessert. Eating ice cream is gross, but at least you can't deep throat it.

[Ronny Chieng]

I'm sorry. It prepares you for life. That's a lot of work. And there's lots of instances where you have to do things similarly to eating a popsicle.

[Trevor Noah]

Do you work in show business?

[John]

No.

[Trevor Noah]

But popsicles are good, man.

[John]

You got all different kinds of flavors.

[Trevor Noah]

Like what, 50, 50 bars?

[Jordan Klepper]

You got an original popsicle, you got Bomb Pops.

[Trevor Noah]

None of those are flavors. Okay, so you tell me what flavor that is.

[Ronny Chieng]

This is grape. And I actually really love grape. Everybody hates on it, but it's so good.

[Trevor Noah]

Grapes don't taste like that in real life. Okay, the guy who created the flavor, grape, clearly has never had a grape before. Yeah, see, no, that's. You ate it like a pelican. You didn't even chew it. How did you do that? It's sticking to your beard now. Oh. Oh, that's so good. Yeah, see, that's. No, man, popsicles aren't gross. You are gross.

[Desi Lydic]

What's wrong with what you got against popsicles?

[Trevor Noah]

They're messy, they make my hands sticky.

[Ronny Chieng]

Why, you don't eat it fast enough?

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[John]

Can't put it in your mouth fast enough?

[Trevor Noah]

No. Why don't you demonstrate right now? Oh, yeah. Okay. That's very experienced.

[John]

Look, no mess.

[Desi Lydic]

Look at no mess. You even still have my lip gloss on.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, you know what? That was actually. As much as I want to hate on that, it was actually pretty impressive. I feel like you actually did prove me wrong. So you know what?

[John]

What's happening?

[Trevor Noah]

All right?

[Desi Lydic]

Is that what I win?

[Trevor Noah]

You get to wear the golden thong. You have now earned the right to take my place. No, I'm good behind the prove me wrong. I'm wearing my own thong. You've clearly proven me wrong. That's what happens when you prove me wrong. No, no, you have to take over. No, you gotta take my place now. It's like Highlander. You're right. Now take. Take my spot.

[Desi Lydic]

It's summertime, that wonderful time of the year when the sun is out, kids are playing, and I sweat so much my shirt turns into a map of the Middle East. My nipple is the Gaza Strip. You don't want to go anywhere near it. And on the hottest days, you have a few options. You can hydrate, you can stay indoors. Or you could always go to the beach. But only if you want to die.

[John]

Sharks.

[Matt Walsh]

Summertime close encounters scares just feet from shore.

[Stephen Colbert]

In South Carolina, a shark in knee deep water just feet away from swimmers. And in New Jersey, a 16 foot great white feasting on a bag of.

[Desi Lydic]

Bait before swimming away.

[Ronny Chieng]

This year, Hawaii has already seen twice as many attacks as they did all of last year. And just last week, this great white was tracked near New York's Long Island.

[Desi Lydic]

When a white shark bites a person, it is a mistake. Because it thinks that that person is a seal. Wait a minute. So if a white shark's biting you, it's a mistake, but if a black shark gets caught with just a little bit of weed, it goes to jail for life? That doesn't seem. And also, what do you mean? If I get bitten, it's because I look like a seal. So now I'm getting eaten and body shamed. Talk about adding insult to injury. And if you're thinking, no problem, I'll just stay in the shallow water where it's safe. Well, good luck, sucker.

[Ronny Chieng]

There are new concerns about rare but potentially deadly flesh eating bacteria found in warm waters.

[Desi Lydic]

Potentially deadly bacteria can enter the body through a cutter, a scrape. According to the CDC, the bacteria causes 80,000 illnesses and 100 deaths in the US every year.

[John]

Just pay attention.

[Ronny Chieng]

Don't be afraid of the ocean, but.

[Stephen Colbert]

Be aware of what's going on.

[Desi Lydic]

Be aware it's bacteria. What am I supposed to do? Snorkel with a microscope? At least with a shark I can hear the fin and the jaws music. I can see the fin. But flesh eating bacteria is a silent killer. Like Jason. It's what I've always respected about him. He's in it for the stabbing, not the chit chat. Also, what's with these bacteria? They never eat the flesh that I don't want. How about instead of my leg, why don't you guys take a nibble on my love handles? That way you still get to eat and I don't look like a seal. So. So it's dangerous in the water, it's dangerous close to the water and you think you're safe way up on the beach? You better duck.

[Matt Walsh]

A warning about a surprising summer danger. Beach umbrellas flying through the air, seriously injuring beachgoers.

[Stephen Colbert]

In Ocean city, Maryland in 2015, a bystander filming as the wind picks up these umbrellas and turns them into projectiles. The video's wild and the situation's incredibly dangerous.

[Ronny Chieng]

Over the last 10 years, there have been reports of over 32,000 injuries related to umbrellas across the country.

[Desi Lydic]

Did you see that? It's an umbrella uprising. We always thought it was gonna be the robots. We never suspected the umbrellas. And who can blame them for organizing? We treat them like shit. They only get pulled out in the extreme heat or the rain. We're never like, oh, it's a beautiful day. My umbrella deserves a walk. But on the plus side, if you survive an umbrella impaling, at least you'll never need to buy sunscreen again. So whether it's sharks or bacteria or umbrellas. Everything on the beach wants you dead. But don't worry kids, you can just simulate the experience at home. Just turn off your air conditioning, stand in the tub with a pina colada and shove a fistful of sand up your ass. Happy Summer everybody. Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

[Sponsor]

This episode is supported by FX Is the Bear. The Emmy Award winning series returns following Carmi, Sidney and Richie as they push forward, determined not only to survive but also to take the Bear to the next level. This season, the pursuit of excellence isn't just about getting better, it's about deciding what's worth holding onto. FX is the bear. All episodes streaming June 25th on Hulu.

[John]

This is an iHeart podcast.