TDS Time Machine | Taylor Swift

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Episode: TDS Time Machine | Taylor Swift
Date: October 4, 2025
Host: Jon Stewart & The Daily Show News Team

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Episode Overview

This episode is a whirlwind satirical exploration of Taylor Swift’s influence on music, politics, economics, and even congressional hearings, expertly filtered through the comedic lens of The Daily Show’s team. Jon Stewart and correspondents dissect Swift’s political endorsements, fan culture ("Swifties"), her impact on elections (notably in Tennessee and Virginia), the wild Ticketmaster fiasco, and her anointment as TIME’s Person of the Year. The episode blends biting political commentary, celebrity culture critique, and hilarious, occasionally self-deprecating banter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Taylor Swift Enters the Political Arena

• [01:43] Taylor Swift’s political endorsement of Democrat Phil Bredesen over Republican Marsha Blackburn sparks a national conversation.

  • First time Swift breaks her political silence, writing: “I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights I believe we all in this country [deserve].”
  • Stewart notes the real-world effect: “Her post apparently caused a huge surge in voter registration. So you can’t deny that she has influence with voters.” ([03:22])
  • Former right-wing rumors that Taylor was a secret conservative are humorously busted.

• Presidential Reaction:

  • Trump tells reporters: "Let's say that I like Taylor's music about 25% less now." ([04:00])
  • Stewart retorts: “That’s a weird way to express displeasure. Like, what does that even mean?” ([04:10])

2. Swifties as a Political Force

• [07:55] Virginia gubernatorial race leverages Swift’s masters controversy.
  • Terry McAuliffe’s campaign targets Swift fans by highlighting his opponent’s ties to the Carlyle Group (linked to Scooter Braun buying Swift’s masters).
  • FiveThirtyEight’s Jeffrey Skelly explains: “There are a lot of young people, you know, 18 to 34 year olds, who really like Taylor Swift.” ([08:11])
  • Swifties in Virginia discuss galvanizing issues beyond music: abortion rights, LGBTQ equality, climate change.
  • Memorable fan quote: “That’s such a weird stereotype…because we’re not 14 anymore. We are adults, we pay taxes and we vote.” ([12:09])

3. Cultural Impact: TIME Person of the Year

• [13:07] TIME's editor-in-chief Sam Jacobs announces Taylor as Person of the Year for 2023 live on air.
  • Sam: “I don’t think there’s anyone who’s moved so many people so well as Taylor Swift did in 2023.”
  • The show's panel riffs on the “TIME Curse”—previous winners’ post-honor struggles.
  • Ronny Chieng (pro-Swiftie): “A massive tour that generated, like, $5 billion for the U.S. economy, a movie about that tour that saved movie theaters, and she made football even more popular. Not to mention all the breakups she got me through.” ([13:41])
  • Michael Kosta (jokily scared to criticize Swift): “Her music is great. She was terrific in that Cats movie. I wish nothing but the best for her and her army of incredibly passionate and defensive fans.” ([14:17])

4. Fan Culture, Social Media, and Backlash

• [19:34] Stewart reflects on the toxic edge to Swiftie loyalty, especially toward her exes:

  • “Taylor Swift writes songs to express her emotions in a way that touches other people, not to order a hit on her ex boyfriends.” ([20:55])
  • Desi Lydic observes: “If you think John Mayer's DMs are rough, you should see the DMs of any woman on the Internet.” ([21:31])

• Humor on foot pic requests and death threats:

  • Desi: "It's either death threats or requests to see your feet every time." ([21:41])

5. The Ticketmaster Fiasco

• [22:58] Ticketmaster’s meltdown during Swift ticket pre-sale leads to a congressional hearing.

  • Bipartisan outrage as “Swifties” are the only group organized enough to force government action:
    Stewart: "They're the most politically organized group in America. Yeah, it goes Swifties, the Teamsters, and somewhere way, all the way down the list is the Democrats." ([24:50])

• Call to return to old-fashioned ticket lines:

  • “You’re not a real fan unless getting a ticket gave you hypothermia.” ([25:05])

6. Taylor Swift’s Carbon Footprint & Activism Backlash

• [28:31] Climate group Just Stop Oil targets private jets, with rumors (false, as police say) Swift’s jet was at the airport:
  • Stewart and team recoil at the idea: “She is our queen.” ([28:43])
  • Lampooning performative protest and suggesting more effective climate activism.

7. Closing Satirical Flurry: Trump, Swift, and Election Mayhem

• [29:21] Fictional take: Trump posts "I hate Taylor Swift" on Truth Social, raising questions about divisiveness and online culture.
  • Stewart: “I would rather buy one of those Hezbollah pages than tweet, I hate Taylor Swift. I think Trump needs to stick to racism. It's less divisive.” ([29:37])
  • Final sequence pokes fun at “swifties” seeing red over Ticketmaster—with a coda of “shake it off” song refrains.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Taylor’s Political Endorsement:
  “Taylor Swift dances like she’s making fun of how white people dance. That’s how she dances. And just like Kanye fired up Republicans, Taylor also seems to be having an impact.” (Jon Stewart, [03:03])

• Trump’s Response:
  “Let’s say that I like Taylor’s music about 25% less now.” (Trump, [04:00])
  Stewart: “That’s a weird way to express displeasure. Like, what does that even mean?” ([04:10])

• On Fan Stereotypes:
  “That’s such a weird stereotype of Taylor Swift fans because we’re not 14 anymore. We are adults, we pay taxes and we vote.” (Molly, Virginia Swiftie, [12:09])

• TIME Person of the Year:
  “She can pose for the cover, she can hang on the wall, and then that’s it. Those are the responsibilities.” (Ronny Chieng, [15:20])

• On Social Media Hate:
  “Social media makes us forget that we’re all human beings.” (Stewart, [20:34])
  “If you really want to upset John Mayer, tell him that Ed Sheeran is a better guitar player.” (Stewart, [21:09])

• On Foot Pics vs. Death Threats:
  Desi: “It’s either death threats or requests to see your feet every time.” ([21:41])

• On Swifties and Political Action:
  “They're the most politically organized group in America. Yeah, it goes Swifties, the Teamsters, and somewhere way, all the way down the list is the Democrats.” (Jon Stewart, [24:50])

• On Trump Hating Taylor Swift:
  “I think Trump needs to stick to racism. It’s less divisive.” (Stewart, [29:37])

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• [01:43] – Taylor Swift’s entrance into politics and Kanye West contrast
• [03:22] – Swift’s political post causes voter registration spike
• [04:00] – Trump’s “25% less” remark on Taylor’s music
• [07:55] – Virginia election, Swifties’ impact (FiveThirtyEight interview)
• [10:06] – Roundtable with Swifties in Virginia
• [12:09] – Swiftie fan refutes stereotypes
• [13:07] – TIME names Taylor Person of the Year
• [13:41] – Pro and anti-Swift panel argument
• [19:34] – Stewart on Swifties, exes, and social media toxicity
• [21:41] – Death threats vs. foot pic requests in DMs
• [22:58] – Ticketmaster debacle, congressional hearing
• [24:50] – Swifties as America’s most organized political group
• [28:31] – Private jet climate protests, Swift as a target
• [29:21] – Satirical news: Trump’s “I hate Taylor Swift” post
• [30:55] – Moment of Zen: Ticketmaster “bad blood”/“shake it off” mashup

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Tone & Style

• Comedic, satirical, fast-paced, and topical.
• Relentless pop culture ribbing, mingled with political reality.
• The hosts and guests deploy wry observations, snark, and running jokes about generational divides, obsessive fandom, and changing norms in civic participation.
• Chummy chemistry among comedians, punctuated by self-aware nervousness in the face of Swifties’ legendary online power.

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Summary Takeaway

This episode masterfully skewers the intersection of pop, politics, and power. Taylor Swift’s journey from apolitical superstar to major political catalyst is examined from all angles—with the show ultimately underscoring how celebrity activism, fan culture, and technology have warped and energized American politics. The episode is as much a commentary on the times as on Swift herself, showing how one pop icon can galvanize, divide, and unite—sometimes simultaneously. All, of course, is delivered with joke-laden, signature Daily Show style.

Transcript

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ABC Wednesdays Shifting Gears is back. He has arisen. Tim Allen and Kat Dennings return in television's number one new comedy. What what? With a star studded premiere including Jenna Elfman, Nancy Travis and hey buddy. A big home improvement reunion welcome. Oh, boy, that guy's a tool. Shifting gears new Wednesdays, 8, 7 Central on ABC and stream on Hulu. You're listening to Comedy Central. The midterm elections are in full swing. Today was the last day to register in many states. But don't worry, if you haven't registered yet, you can still vote illegally. Now, one thing we've come to expect around elections is celebrities getting involved. And these days, a celebrity voicing their political opinion is like climate change. It's happening every day and most people ignore it. But there are still some celebrities who simply cannot be ignored.

[A]

Kanye west added again sparking controversy on Twitter. The pro Trump rapper posted a photo of him wearing a red Make America great again hat.

[B]

He's the brave one going out into liberal La La land and getting booed because he likes Trump. What I love about Kanye west is he has been blazing this trail saying it's okay to think freely. Thank you, Kanye west, for standing up for what is right. Yes, the right has a new favorite rapper. So step aside, nobody. Yeah, that's a. That's a slut that's never been filled before. So Republicans have been celebrating the second coming of Yeezus as one of their own. But yesterday Democrats said, hey, Republicans, I'm gonna let you finish, but we just got one of the best endorsements of all time. Taylor Swift got a huge response after announcing yesterday she's voting for Democrat Phil Bredesen over Republican Marsha Blackburn in the U.S. senate race in Tennessee.

[A]

The pop star has always made it a point of keeping silent on politics, but shocked her fans last night, Swift wrote, I always have and always will cast my vote based on which candidate will protect and fight for the human rights. I believe we all in this Country.

[B]

Wow. Wow. This. This is a big deal. Because you realize until now, Taylor Swift has stayed as far away from politics as she does from rhythm, right? And no, like, don't get me wrong, don't get me wrong. I love. I love Tay Tay's music, but let's be honest. Have you seen her dancing? Like, Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift. Here's the thing. Taylor Swift. Taylor Swift dances like she's making fun of how white people dance. That's how she dances. And just like Kanye fired up Republicans, Taylor also seems to be having an impact. Her post apparently caused a huge surge in voter registration. So you can't deny that she has influence with voters. Yeah, you just can't. You can't deny that Taylor Swift has that influence. The same way you can't deny that while reputation might have lacked the momentum in sales records of 1989, in it's still an impressive, brooding departure, portraying Taylor as a woman coming into her own and solidifying her power and range as an artist. Or so I've been told. I mean, so I've been told. And I get it. I get it. If anyone can convince young people to vote, it's the woman who somehow got young people to buy physical CDs because she wasn't on Spotify. I mean, like, who even owns a CD player? Like, people probably popping the distance with a toaster trying to play them there. It's like. And since Taylor has been so quiet about politics, there was actually a theory in the alt right community that was that maybe she was secretly a pro Trump conservative. Right? But now by endorsing Democrats, she blew that theory up, which is news that the President took surprisingly well. What do you have to say to Taylor Swift now that she's in politics? Taylor Swift's jumping into politics. What do you have to say to her? And what did she say? She said she wants people to vote for Democrats. Let's say that I like Taylor's music about 25% less now. Okay, That's. That's a weird way to express displeasure. That's. He likes her music 25% less. Like, what does that even mean? Is. Is he now just Gonna cut off 25% of his Taylor merchandise? Is that what he's gonna do? Oh, and by the way, I love. I love how Trump turned back when he heard Taylor Swift. You see that? Like. Cause he was leaving. He was leaving, right? And then you heard Taylor Swift and he was like, what? Yeah. Cause normally reporters shout questions. He just keeps going. They're like, Mr. President, the United nations global warming. Mr. President, your policy enhancement. Mr. President, what do you think about Taylor Swift? He's like, what's that? What's that? Taylor Swift? Let me tell you something. I know all about this issue from my briefings that I read in United States Weekly. And look, I know right now there are conservatives out there who are pro Taylor Swift and are feeling conflicted at this moment because she has endorsed the Democrats. And to them I say, if you're a real Taylor Swift fan, you know what you gotta do? Shake it off. Upgrade your laundry routine with a durable and reliable Maytag laundry pair at Lowe's. Like the new Maytag washer and dryer with performance enhanced stain fighting power designed to cut through serious dirt and grime. And what's great is this laundry pair is in stock and ready for delivery when you need it the most. Don't miss out. Shop Maytag in store or online today at Lowe's.

[A]

Covering the news is exhilarating. You travel the country, meet interesting people and find real stories. But then one day you realize it's a Tuesday in November again. Well, it's Election day again. Got it. It's Election Day again. Cause it's. I can't. It's Election Day again.

[B]

Virginia.

[A]

As a journalist, I'm honored to be covering this sacred process again. I feel super chill about it.

[B]

I'm good.

[A]

It's election day again, and we've got another close race on our hands, so you better start clenching those butt cheeks.

[B]

Early voting is already underway in the Virginia gubernatorial race with the latest polling showing Democratic Governor Terry McAuliffe effectively in a dead heat.

[A]

Political writing.

[B]

If Terry McAuliffe doesn't pull out a.

[A]

Win, Democrats are privately predicting a collapse on Capitol Hill. Wait, Virginia could go red? For a state that went blue by 450,000 votes in the last election, this was a story worth keeping down the vomit. I sat down with Jeffrey Skelly from FiveThirtyEight to help me make sense of this. Sorry about the mess. Elections. Am I right? Why is this race in particular so close? Isn't Virginia blue?

[B]

Yeah. So Virginia has been Democratic leaning over the last few years, but President Biden is now somewhat unpopular. And I think voters are responding to that. And so the electoral environment is better for Republicans. So we've got a close race in Virginia.

[A]

Who do you think will actually decide this race?

[B]

Young voters are really important because they are basically the most Democratic leaning group. Well, one Little interesting thing McCall has done is run campaign ads attacking Glenn Youngkin because he was CEO of the Carlyle Group, which was involved in the purchase of Taylor Swift's master recordings. And so they've been using this to try to get young people to pay attention to the race because there are a lot of young people out there, you know, 18 to 34 year olds, who are really like Taylor Swift.

[A]

Virginia Democrat candidate for Governor Terry McAuliffe recruiting Taylor Swift fans. McAuliffe reportedly linking his opponent to music executive Scooter Braun, who infamously bought Swift's master recordings back in 2019. After I was denied the chance to purchase my music outright, my entire catalog was sold to Scooter Braun's Ithaca holdings in a deal that I'm told was funded by the Carlyle Group.

[B]

One of the targeted ads reading, did you know that Republican candidate for governor Glenn Youngkin helped buy Taylor Swift's masters out from under her?

[A]

You gotta be shitting me. Taylor Swift fans vote.

[B]

I think that's what the McAuliffe campaign is hoping.

[A]

If the Swifties are backing McAuliffe, what group of fans are backing Youngkin? Chet Hanks fans. Chet Heads.

[B]

Well, we don't have any polling on different fan groups of musical artists.

[A]

We're 538.

[B]

Yeah, it's a real niche.

[A]

Could we be underestimating the Swifties?

[B]

I think I'd be careful about giving them too much weight. But there are a lot of young people who like Taylor Swift. We know that's true.

[A]

Could Taylor Swift fans be the key to the Virginia race? To find out, I had to dive deep into their fandom, no matter how many of her albums I had to buy on the show's credit card.

[B]

Oh, sorry.

[A]

This just happened to me without my approval or consent. Shame on him.

[B]

Woo. Woo.

[A]

Finally, after becoming fluent in all things Taylor, I gathered a group of her fans of Virginia to see how angry they were with candidate Youngkin. Are you all true fans? Are you true Swifties? Did you buy signed Fearless albums, Taylor version? I actually do have it and I can pull it up. I also have every single Taylor record on vinyl right next to me. If we want to go that far. Yeah. The two most important dates in November is November 2nd, which is election day, and November 12th, which is red. Yeah, I'm taking off work for election day just in case the lines are too long. Are you also taking off work for Taylor's release of red? Oh, 100%. I need to get through all the emotions of all the songs on that album. I'm taking off work and my therapist is not getting the day off. While I respect this generation's Clear dedication to mental health. Could this new base of voters actually tip the scales in Virginia? I'm originally from Texas, and the last three years in college, I voted in Texas, but I just knew that I couldn't just sit by and watch as Youngkin took Virginia. And so that's when I decided to change my voter registration. Wow. Okay, so you just changed your registration. This is dedication. I was in the weird college era as well, where I was kind of voting in my home state, but now I am voting Virginia because of this issue. I couldn't help but pity these young girls. There are so many important issues, but all they care about is Taylor Swift's master recordings. It's not really about the Masters, but, I mean, just a couple days ago, Youngkin came out and said, you know, he loves everyone. And when asked if that includes LGBTQ people, he said, no. Are there other issues that you care about? Women's right to choose. I'm very passionate about gun violence prevention. Climate change is going to be the biggest issue of our time, so those policies are super important. I'm an environmental engineer, so this is life changing. What would you say to boomers like my Aunt sheila who say 14 year old girls should stay out of politics and stop stealing my sleeping pills? Desi, I think that's such a weird stereotype of Taylor Swift fans because we're not 14 anymore. We are adults, we pay taxes and we vote.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you want to see my thesis paper about congressional legislation? Because I can show you that. Don't underestimate swifties. All right, take it easy, Molly. Geez, I don't want any snake comments on my insta. Yes, they are fans of Taylor Swift, and yes, they are in their 20s. Maybe they can make a difference in this upcoming election no matter what happens. At least now I'll have some great music to cry to. Just in time for next election Tuesday.

[B]

All right, let's move on to a more important election. Every year, Time magazine announces the Person of the Year so that people remember what Time magazine is. And this morning, we found out who won 2023.

[A]

Sam Jacobs is Times Editor in chief. Sam, good morning. Welcome to Today. You can reveal right now who it is.

[B]

Are you ready for it? We're ready for it. The 2023 time Person of the Year is Taylor Swift.

[A]

Okay, let me just. Let's just get this out of the way, Sam, because the world is on fire right now. And you know, this is Person of the Year and it's purports to say this is the most Influential person or group of persons in the world. This year you picked Taylor. We know about her influence. How did you justify this decision?

[B]

There are a number of different choices that could have represented 2023, and I don't think there's anyone who's moved so many people so well as Taylor Swift did in 2023. Yeah, also, my teenage daughter doesn't speak to me, and I thought this would help, but. But, yeah, yeah. But, yes, Taylor Swift is Times Person of the Year, which is terrible news for Taylor Swift. Have you seen how the past few winners of this are doing? Last year, Zelenskyy won. How's Ukraine doing now? Year before that, Elon Musk got the COVID How's Twitter doing now? Year before that, Biden and Kamala got the COVID Enough said. Forget Travis Kelce. If this pattern keeps up, next year, Taylor Swift is gonna be dating the punter for the New York Jets. But the question is, does Taylor Swift deserve to be Person of the Year? To discuss, we turn to Ronny Chang and Michael Kosta. Let's start with you, Ronnie. Why did Taylor deserve this cover? Well, as a Swiftie, I can say. Isn't it obvious? A massive tour that generated, like, $5 billion for the U.S. economy, a movie about that tour that saved movie theaters, and she made football even more popular. Not to mention all the breakups she got me through. I mean, I was getting dumped on purpose just to enjoy those songs more. Good point, Ronnie. Okay, that's the pro Taylor side. Now let's go to Michael Kosta. Michael, give us the anti Taylor side. What? No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm not doing the anti Taylor side. When did this happen? I'm not gonna criticize Taylor Swift on television. She deserves all her success. Her music is great. She was terrific in that Cats movie. I wish nothing. I wish nothing but the best for her and her army of incredibly passionate and defensive fans. Michael, I'm very confused. You were telling me earlier today how stupid you thought it was to give her Person of the Year. No, no, no, no, no, no, no. Charlamagne. Charlamagne. Charlamagne. This is not what I said, okay? I wasn't talking about. And you weren't even talking to me. I've never even said words until now. How am I doing? Listen, listen. Can't we just talk about something less controversial, okay? I've got some strong opinions about Palestine and I. Don't be afraid, Kosta. Remember earlier you said you couldn't believe with everything going on in the world, they'd give Person of the year to some overrated singer songwriter. Yep, you said that. Who dances like Phoebe from Friends being electrocuted. Yes, that was you. You said, and I quote, I wish Kanye would interrupt her more. Charlamagne. You said that. Charlamagne. I have a family. Please. Okay, I didn't say anything like that about Taylor. That wasn't even me. I think you're confused with Ronnie. That sounds something like Ronnie would say. Don't you know? Hammy's always like, I hate everything, including Taylor Swift and babies and, oh, these bloggers. Charlamagne. These Taylor Swift haters, like ichaelcosta on Instagram and Ichaelcostaon TikTok. They disgust me. Okay, first, despite what Michael says, the way Taylor Swift dances makes her relatable, all right? And two, she can easily fulfill all the responsibilities of Times Person of the year, okay? She can pose for the COVID she can hang on the wall, and then that's it. Those are the responsibilities. Michael, he's got you there. Are you at the airport? What are you doing? What does it look like I'm doing, you loose lip snitch bitches? Okay, yeah, I'm fleeing the country. I need somewhere to hide out, somewhere safe. One ticket to North Korea, please. They don't have any Internet there, right? Come on, Costa. You really think the Swifties aren't gonna find you? Well, that's why I'm changing my name to something generic like John Mayer. All right, good luck with that. My brother John Mayer and Ronny Chang, everyone. Limu, Kimu and Doug. Here we have the Limu Emu in its natural habitat, helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Uh, Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty. Liberty, Liberty. Liberty Savings. Very unwritten by Liberty Mutual insurance company and affiliates. Excludes Massachusetts. For a limited time at McDonald's, get a Big Mac Extra Value meal for $8. That means two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun, and medium fries. And a drink. We may need to. Prizes and participation may vary. Taylor Swift, pop star, songwriter, and inventor of the color red. Personally, I love Taylor Swift. Huge fan. Really? Nothing bad to say about her. But even if I had something bad to say about her, I wouldn't. I wouldn't say it because Taylor Swift's fans are super protective of her. Like. Like, they're like One of those old fashioned dads with a shotgun who doesn't want you to marry his daughter cause he wants to marry her. You see, Taylor Swift has been re recording all of her old albums, which means people are re listening to all of her old songs about her famous exes and then getting mad at those exes all over again on her behalf. And while Taylor may be content to address her old boyfriends with heartfelt lyrics and songs that are, again, I wanna stress this, perfect in every way, some of her fans are a lot less subtle. This is going a little too far. While Jake Gyllenhaal is taking incoming fire from the Swifties, another one of Taylor's exes is being bombarded with messages. Now, a user on Instagram sent John Mayer a direct message telling him, yourself, you ugly. I hope you choke on something. Mayer then responded to the user saying that he'd been getting many messages like that over the past couple of days and asking, do you really hope I die? To which the user responded, omg. What? I don't want you to die. I'm sorry. The user apologized again and admitted they didn't really think Mayer would see the message. You see, people. This is what I hate about social media. It makes people act shittier than they actually are, which then makes us think that people are shittier than they actually are. Because social media makes us forget that we're all human beings. You know, we just see that little avatar and then we all talk shit to each other. But we're all human. Even celebrities are real people. All of them. I mean, I don't obviously, except Timothee Chalamet. He's gotta be cgi. No one can be that good looking. I mean, just look at that person. Now I'm craving spice. God damn. Mm, mm, mm, mm. And I know her fans are like, but he hurt her. Listen to her song. Yes. That's all you're supposed to do. Listen to the song. You know, Taylor Swift writes songs to express her emotions in a way that touches other people, not to order a hit on her ex boyfriends. So death threats are not the way to go. Especially with someone like John Mayer. Don't. Don't send him death threats. He gets them all the time. If you really want to upset him, tell him that Ed Sheeran is a better guitar player. Well, that's gonna hit his heart. You know, it's weird how people get like, they're so hateful on the Internet. Desi.

[A]

Yeah, I know it's bad, but if you think John Mayer's DMs are rough. You should see the DMs of any woman on the Internet.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. It's either death threats or requests to see your feet every time.

[B]

Like, just your feet. Feet?

[A]

Yeah, just your feet. Or a death threat. One of the two. It's either like, why are women in Star Wars? Or send me a picture of your feet.

[B]

That's really intense.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah, I know they're both bad, but which one do you prefer?

[A]

Well, I'm pretty proud of my feet, so I got no problem sending foot pics.

[B]

Again, bad. I just wondered which one.

[A]

Have you ever requested a foot pic?

[B]

No. No.

[A]

Wow, look who's a gentleman.

[B]

I think normal is the phrase you were looking for. Maybe.

[A]

Okay. It all depends. Yeah, no, but to be totally fair, it is completely inappropriate for anyone to send a death threat on the Internet.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

It's not cool.

[B]

I agree.

[A]

You gotta do it the old school way, you know, you gotta, like, cut out from a magazine. This is the real way to do it.

[B]

That is better than a dm. Yeah, still not good.

[A]

Yeah, I always have this with me just in case. I don't even know who it's for, but it takes so long to do it that I figure by the time I'm done, I'll figure it out. I'll be pissed at somebody.

[B]

Before we get into the big stories, let's catch up on a few other things going on in the world, starting with Taylor Swift. This morning, tickets went on sale for the singer's first tour in four years. And so many fans rushed onto the Ticketmaster site that it immediately crashed. I mean, no one can get tickets. And, yeah, Ticketmaster did. Taylor Swift's so wrong, she's already put out three albums about them. They're gonna learn their lesson. And look, I know everyone thinks that getting these tickets is the most important thing in the world, but it's really not. All right? If you don't get them, just relax, log off. You know, just give the site, like, a chance to cool down and repair itself and then, you know, don't bother. You just. You just chill. Ah. All right, I got mine. You can go back on. You can go back on. You do whatever you want. The biggest crisis the country is facing right now.

[A]

Finally, there's something that Republicans and Democrats.

[B]

Seem united on, and it's this.

[A]

The Taylor Swift ticket fiasco.

[B]

Today on Capitol Hill, senators held a hearing to examine the lack of competition in the ticketing industry.

[A]

The bipartisan hearing comes in the wake of a technology breakdown on the ticketmaster website. During the pre sale for Taylor Swift's upcoming tour, super fans known as Swifties faced hours, long wait times and website crashes.

[B]

I just really wanted to see Taylor not getting tickets. Shame on you, Ticketmaster. Look what you did to these emotional young people.

[A]

Hey, you know what?

[B]

It's about time someone held Ticketmaster accountable. And the Swifties are the only ones who can get this done. They're the most politically organized group in America. Yeah, it goes Swifties, the Teamsters, and somewhere way, all the way down the list is the Democrats. You know, these hearings are so popular. I bet Ticketmaster screwed up tickets to that, too. You got kids outside crying? I'm the city's biggest fan. I just wanted to see Dick Durbin. But ultimately, there's only one way to fix this problem. Get rid of online ticket sales. Go back to waiting online in person, out in the cold. Make people earn that shit like we used to. You're not a real fan unless getting a ticket gave you hypothermia. Hey, I almost lost two toes just to see Johnny Gill. And I'll do it again.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Let's move on to climate change. If you couldn't tell from all the sweat on your ass cheeks. And today, the Earth is still getting hotter. So climate activists have taken their protests to the next obvious place. A pile of rocks.

[B]

A pair of climate protesters have been arrested after spray painting the historic Stonehenge Monument in Southern England. Video of the incident shows two people running toward the Stone Circle while spraying orange paint. A third person can be seen trying to stop them. Then a fourth, the climate activist group Just Stop Oil has taken responsibility for the incident.

[A]

Whoa, guys, I appreciate the cause, but what did Stonehenge ever do? I mean, literally, what did Stonehenge do? I get the stone part, but what the is a henge. Regardless, I don't think this helps the cause. All they did was make it look like Stonehenge went to town on some Doritos. Guys, these stunts don't work, I promise you. Excellent. Exxon saw this and thought, that's a good point. I wonder if there's oil under Stonehenge.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think painting Stonehenge orange is gonna do anything, guys. Okay? Last year, the sky in New York turned orange and we still didn't care. Okay? Everybody was like, oh, that's weird. Let's turn up the air conditioning.

[A]

Yeah. I'll tell you who they should be going after. Billionaires and their private jets.

[B]

Two more members of the organization Just Stop Oil have been placed under arrest for spray painting private jets. And Taylor Swift might have been a target. No, no, not Taylor.

[A]

She is our queen.

[B]

Pick another billionaire.

[A]

Another billionaire.

[B]

Just Stop Oil said that the airfield is where Taylor Swift jet was parked. But Essex police in the United Kingdom said the pop star's aircraft was not at the airport. Oh, thank God Taylor doesn't have to fly commercial. But, guys, spray paint is not going to ground these, okay? You gotta do something radical like cut some wires or install some Boeing parts. The motive of the assassin remains unclear, so we'll have to look at who might have a reason to be angry at Donald Trump.

[A]

On Sunday, three hours before the attempt on his life, Trump blared, I hate Taylor Swift on Truth Social, reacting to her bombed endorsement of Kamala Harris.

[B]

Ugh. Donald tweeting, I hate Taylor Swift. That's dangerous. I mean, I would. I would rather buy one of those Hezbollah pages than tweet, I hate Taylor Swift. I think. I think Trump needs to stick to racism. It's less divisive. But the assassin this weekend was probably not a Swifty, okay? He doesn't fit the M.O. swifties are non violent. They prefer to cyberbully you until you kill yourself. So why did this guy come for Trump? I mean, according to J.D. vance, Trump's VP and the worst thing to happen to cat ladies since feline aids. Democrats made him do it. The left needs to tone down the rhetoric and needs to cut this crap out. We cannot tell the American people that one candidate is a fascist. And if he's elected it is gonna be the end of American democracy. Yeah, liberals, stop accurately describing Trump, okay? You're. You're putting him in danger when you repeat the things he says verbatim. Now, here it is, your moment of Zen. I knew you were trouble when you logged in. Why Ticketmaster has them seeing red. There may be some bad blood among Taylor Swift fans tonight. Instead of tickets for her highly anticipated tour, they're looking at blank space for those who couldn't get tickets for her upcoming stops here in Philly. Well, you may just have to shake it off? Shake it off? Shake it off? Shake it off? You just gotta shake it off? Shake it off? Shake it off?

[A]

You gotta shake it off?

[B]

Taylor Swift fans. See? I know that song. Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus, this has been a Comedy Central podcast.