Jon Stewart (3:15)

He then added, the second best way to win an Emmy is to receive a plurality of votes in your category from the voting members of the National Academy of Television Arts and Sciences under the auspices of the accounting firm of Ernst and Young. That'll do in a binge. Co hosts David Hyde Pierce and Jenna Elfman started the show with an interpretive dance, which many in the audience interpreted as a gratuitous display of David Hyde Pierce's nutsack. HBO's acclaimed series The Sopranos earned 16 nominations, the most of any contender, but walked away with just four awards. The show, however, did receive a humanitarian award for employing dozens of actors waiting for Martin Scorsese to give up the Buddha crap. Jack Nicholson, who is required by law to sit in the front row at every Hollywood award show, came with Lara Flynn Boyle and call me old fashioned, but I think this one's going to last. The highlight of the show was a hilarious send up of Dawson's Creek by Jon Stewart, the once popular talk show host now floundering on an obscure cable network and making jokes about himself in the third person even as he speaks West Wing Walks Away with nine Emmys Confused George W. Bush goes negative with anti Sheen Ads Last night the stars came out as trillions of balls of hydrogen converted into helium and emitted their light throughout the observable universe. But of course, back here on Earth at LA's Shrine Auditorium, everyone else was coming out at what has already been dubbed the gayest Emmys ever. I mean, just look at the big winners. Will and Grace Gay if these Walls Could Talk Too Lesbian the West Wing Flaming the Corner, hello Sailor and Tuesdays with Maury, Liza with a Z. Will and Grace took home three Emmys and star Eric McCormack thanked NBC for having the courage to conduct the market research necessary to determine it was okay to put a show like this on the air without significant public backlash. We are very fortunate to be working at a time when the networks are brave enough to to put a show like Will and Grice on the air, right? Yes, somewhere Paul Lynn is smiling down from center cloud because up to now, fans of television and homosexuality only had Ellen Love, Sidney and the suppressed homoerotic rage of Chips. Well, they what a brave network. Perhaps the oddest moment of the night came when Emmy director Louis Horvitz won an award for directing an award show. And the Emmy goes To Louis J. Horvitz, 72nd Annual Academy Awards.

Daily Show Correspondent (6:18)

Yes. Music. Ready 13, take 13. Ready 10, take 10. Ready 2, take 2. Ready 13, take 13. Okay.

Jon Stewart (6:33)

Horvitz Award was not only a personal victory, but a triumph in the fight against the stigma of Tourette syndrome. Despite his Emmy boost, Horvitz still turned up the music on those who went on too long. Like, once again, winner Celia Ward.

Daily Show Staff Member (6:49)

My representatives who are amazing, My manager, Steve Daunton.

Jon Stewart (6:53)

I mean, that's not true. He's my agent. Steve Dottenville has been with me forever. David Seltzer, my manager, Cliff Gilbert Lurie.

Daily Show Staff Member (7:02)

Amazing Kelly Bush and Joe Lubinati.

Daily Show Correspondent (7:05)

And.

Jon Stewart (7:07)

You know, Celia Ward used to be on the show Sisters. And in the immortal words of her On Set costar, Susie Kurtz, every time it rains. Sela, hold on a second with the music. I'm getting to the punchline. I'm sorry. Swoozie Kurtz said, every time it rains. All right, all right. Being told we have no time for that joke. Suzie used to.

Daily Show Correspondent (7:27)

Oh, fine.

Jon Stewart (7:31)

Just fine. I got cut off with music on my own program.

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Jon Stewart (8:43)

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you Very much. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Jon Stewart. How was your weekend? We. We went out to Los Angeles. What an exciting weekend for us. Let me say this. When the Daily show won a Tony, I thought, well, that's. That's terrific. When we won a Latin Grammy, I thought, muy bueno. But this was really something. And to celebrate, I had this. I don't know if you've heard of this beverage. They make it. It's made with, I guess they ferment hops and barley, and they put it in little bottles and they're just delicious. But if you have 10 of them, you don't feel well. But it was really what a terrific time we had, and we're happy to be back. And since we won an Emmy, obviously we're going to be phoning the show in for a long, long enjoy. Our arrogance. Obviously, it was an extremely nice night here for everyone at the Daily show, but unfortunately for us, we're at the Emmys not just as participants, but also as journalists. Have you folks seen the program before or. We were, as journalists, covering the event. And we're going to go live now to Stephen Colbert, who's actually still in Los Angeles, outside the Shrine Auditorium. Stephen, nice to see you, my friend. Tell us about the night.

Stephen Colbert (10:07)

It was magical, John. Forget the Hubble telescope. If you wanted to see stars on Sunday night, the Shrine Auditorium was the place to be. All your favorite celebrities were on hand for a celebration of television excellence. But the fun really began after the Emmys at the Governor's Ball, when the industry gathered to raise a glass to the winners. And that's when the started. I'm sorry, the banging, John. The banging. The bumping uglies, the meat pile. Gowns and tuxedos tossed like jetsam as their A list owners in the full bloom of arousal donned goat head masks and descended headlong into a world of sexual madness. A mindless hive of frenzied coitus. Writhing bodies, flesh on fluid, a deep stank of human musk rising to the rafters like some forbidden incense offered to Eros, dark God of gratified desire. All in all, a magical night.

Jon Stewart (11:24)

Stephen, I was there. That did not happen.

Stephen Colbert (11:30)

You left too early, John. It all started right after the lobster salad course. You know, it's funny. I used to criticize Los Angeles that it was superficial, that it was a town where you were only as good as your last project. But that's when I was on the outside. Now. Now I see how wrong I was. Do you know this Thing is redeemable for one supermodel or two regular sized models. Which reminds me, I'm gonna be out here a couple more weeks. I got some meetings to take.

Jon Stewart (12:02)

Stephen, you can't stay out there. We've got the Democratic debate on Thursday. The California recall election's a week from Tuesday. We have a lot of work to do.

Stephen Colbert (12:09)

Yeah. Look, don't get me wrong. I love the people at the Daily Show. They're great, some of them, but the show has clearly peaked. So I'm gonna jump off now and pull the ripcord while I'm still high enough for my parachute to fully deploy. I won't be out here long. Just long enough to take the first show that pays me more money and or features me more prominently.

Jon Stewart (12:34)

I think they like the story better.

Stephen Colbert (12:38)

I don't blame him, John. I don't blame him. Everybody loves the monkey butter. It's a Hollywood term.

Jon Stewart (12:52)

I understand. It's gonna take me a while to wash that one out of the brain, but thank you. Listen, back here. We wish you all the luck out there.

Stephen Colbert (13:01)

Who needs luck, John? This is Hollywood. What could possibly go wrong? I gotta go. I'm having my chin done.

Jon Stewart (13:07)

All right, John, thank you very much. Stephen. Stephen Colbert in Los Angeles. Back, baby. We got a good one for you tonight. Valley Nassar will be joining us. He, of course, the founder of our space program. We won an Emmy. All right, no, sorry, I got you. We actually. That's the kind of writing that shows you what we did. We actually were just getting back from Los Angeles. We're all a little bit tired, but feeling very good. We won. This was our seventh consecutive Emmy for a show in variety, comedy, music, language, and children's programming. So we were delighted. Now we won seven times in a row. And it is. It's a little confounding and astounding and exciting. And I'll be honest with you, there have been a couple of years in there where even we all thought to ourselves, really. But this one, this year, you know, we were up against, I thought, some of the best work that the other shows in that category had done, really hilarious stuff. But you know what? We were really proud of ourselves on this one. We really felt like this year in particular, 2008, was maybe the best year of Daily Shows that we felt that we had done. And I give thanks to all the people here that had worked so hard. We had the. Every time a challenge was issued to the staff here and to the crew here, they rose up to it in a manner which I found surprising and impressive and joyful. And I just, I can't tell you the gratitude that I have for the crew here and the staff here and the people that do that. And I am filled with a feeling. It is a feeling that I have right now based on this now record of achievement. That is, it's an unusual feeling. I believe people refer to it as pride and satisfaction and accomplishment. Now I don't know how long it's going to last. I am Jewish. I'm sure I'll find a way not to enjoy this. But I'm really happy and proud to work here and to be here with all the people that I work with. And thank you for supporting us and watching us and allowing us to create a situation that has not been replicated in our so called genre. And so thank you. And there's one man who I'm sorry, I just pulled my sincerity muscle.

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Daily Show Correspondent (16:44)

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Jon Stewart (16:49)

It's gonna take a little time.

Daily Show Correspondent (16:50)

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Jon Stewart (16:52)

My name is Ned Sampson. I am your new editor in chief.

Daily Show Correspondent (16:55)

Comes a new comedy series.

Daily Show Staff Member (16:56)

Have you read this paper? Uh huh.

Jon Stewart (16:58)

It sucks but we are going to make it better. Meet the underdog journalists. I hope it's not too disruptive to.

Stephen Colbert (17:04)

Have me shake everything up.

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Jon Stewart (17:08)

Oscar.

Daily Show Correspondent (17:08)

Oh God, not again.

Jon Stewart (17:10)

The paper Only on Peacock.

Daily Show Correspondent (17:11)

Streaming now. Congratulations to all the winners at last night's Emmy awards, especially the underdogs.

Stephen Colbert (17:22)

Diversity reigns at the Emmys as women and people of color taking home some of the biggest prizes on television's biggest night.

WhatsApp Advertiser (17:31)

Atlanta's Donald Glover became the first first African American to win an Emmy for comedy directing.

Jon Stewart (17:36)

Sterling K. Brown became the first black performer in close to 20 years to.

FXX/Hulu Announcer (17:40)

Win lead actor in a drama series.

Jon Stewart (17:42)

For this is us.

WhatsApp Advertiser (17:44)

Master of nuns Aziz Ansari shared the Emmy for comedy writing with Lena Waithe, the first black woman to receive the award.

Daily Show Correspondent (17:51)

Yeah, that is fantastic. But how are we still having first Black Anythings in 2017? Do you know how many Emmy ceremonies there have been nice. Now, uh, I'm not complaining. I'm not complaining because last night's Emmys were really amazing and so full of black people. I was waiting for the show to get pulled over by the police. It was a beautiful, beautiful experience. Congratulations to everyone. Uh, I will say this, though. Judging from America's history, we have to be careful for next year, though, because anytime a black person wins something for the first time, the next time around, there's always an overcorrection. So, uh, just be ready for 2018 when Steve Bannon wins best actor in a drama. Yeah. Get ready for that. Big news today for all of your favorite TV shows.

Daily Show Staff Member (18:40)

Nominations for the 71st Emmy Awards have just been announced, and as expected, HBO's hit Game of Thrones leading the pack with a historic 32 nominations for the best drama series. The nominees are. Better Call Saul, Bodyguard, Game of Thrones, Killing Eve, Ozark, Poe, Succession, and this is Us.

Daily Show Correspondent (18:58)

That's right. Emmy nominations are out, and a lot of fan favorites are back. Veep is back with nine nominations. Ozark, one of my favorite shows, got nominated, and Game of Thrones blew everyone away with 32 nominations, a record. Although. Although. You know what I say we should do? We should have the Game of Thrones people come to the awards, but then we should give the award for best drama to Sesame Street.

Stephen Colbert (19:18)

Yeah.

Daily Show Correspondent (19:19)

And then they'll be like, what the hell? That doesn't make sense. And we'll be like, oh, now you don't like endings that don't make sense?

Jon Stewart (19:24)

Oh, yeah.

Daily Show Correspondent (19:25)

Oh, yeah.

Jon Stewart (19:26)

Now you don't like that.

Daily Show Correspondent (19:30)

Oh, and there's one nomination that we're particularly excited about over here. In the category for outstanding Variety show, the Daily show was nominated.

Jon Stewart (19:38)

Yes.

Daily Show Correspondent (19:39)

Thank you. Thank you. All of you. Thank you. Thank you. So, like, we truly could not have done it without you guys. Like, thank you so much for supporting us making this. I never take this for granted. Let's kick it off with some good news from Hollywood, the only city that's got a name tag, in case you forget where you are. Yesterday, the 2020 Emmy nominations were announced, and it was an especially great day for black performers, who got a record 34% of the nominations, which is huge and well deserved, but it's still not enough. That's right. I won't be satisfied until Black people get 100% of the nominations. Yeah, you heard me. We're coming for you white people. In fact, we want every role to be played by a black actor. I won't be happy until Kevin Hart is playing Queen Elizabeth in the crown. Let me tell you something, Prince Charles. No one wants to hear your opinion. You ain't shit. Okay? I'm the queen. You ain't shit. Mm hm. Obviously I'm joking. Guys, it really is great to see black performers getting the recognition they deserve. And that's all black people want. And we at the Daily show are extra grateful because once again, we were nominated. And so to you, the viewers, I want to say thank you so much. Without you, there would be no show and no one would be tweeting me to criticize my apartment decor. I see you Internet and you hurt my feelings.

Jon Stewart (21:07)

I. I have, I have one regret about the Emmys I have one regret about the Emmys on Sunday night, and that is that I was unable to attend and to share in the joy for my friend Stephen Colbert and those at the Colbert Report who won a well deserved, long overdue Emmy. I have been in awe of that show from episode one. I believe Stephen and everyone over there has created something that has never before been seen on television. And things happen on that show that could only happen on that show. And they are, they are remarkable. And to my staff and crew, here's the best thing about my staff and crew. It's not about even if they win or lose, it doesn't matter. You know, when I saw Newhart on stage, if anybody should have a house made out of Emmys, it's Bob Newhart. He was getting his first at age 135. So everyone here never forgets how fortunate they are to have had the kind of run that we've had, to have the kind of recognition that we have. We know that the opportunity to do what we do every day is a phenomenal one. And that's what I love best about this place. There's not a person in this building that takes that opportunity for granted, hell or high water, winning or not winning, having to watch another 24 hour cable news clip or not. They come in here and we might not always hit the mark, but they give everything they have every day for years. And I truly appreciate that about this place. And that's bar none. I'm really proud this place. I'm proud to work with these folks. It has been the honor of my professional life. That's our show. Join us tomorrow night at 11. Here it is. Your moment is end.

Daily Show Staff Member (23:01)

Congratulations to the entire Situation Room staff. We have been nominated for an Emmy Award for our extended breaking news coverage of the assassination of the former Pakistani Prime Minister Benazir Bhutto. This is our very first Emmy nomination, and of course, we hope it's the first of many. And of course, we hope we win.

Daily Show Correspondent (23:20)

Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus.

Comedy Central Announcer (23:37)

This has been a Comedy Central podcast. Martha listens to her favorite band all the time in the car, gym, even sleeping. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much she got her seat close enough to actually see and hear them. Sort of. You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you. More Expedia made to travel Savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive packages are atoll protected.