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Devin Delacquante
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Jordan Klepper
We're in a room that clearly has no windows.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
Has been insulated for sound and yet we have plants.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
It's sort of. It's a sort of a fuck you to our audience and the intelligence we assume them to have.
Devin Delacquante
Don't. You're. You're letting them behind the curtain. Never. Don't do that.
Jordan Klepper
I would like to imagine that we had real plants in here at one point. They kept dying and nobody could figure it out.
Devin Delacquante
Why are they doing dead plants podcast just surrounded by vegeta wilted vegetation?
Jordan Klepper
This is a brand new thing. I think we're attempting a between one ficus you.
Devin Delacquante
Hello and welcome to the pre Cap a daily show podcast where we sit down with this week's host to recap some of the latest news and preview what's coming. It's a recap and a preview. They pre. You guys get it? You get it.
Jordan Klepper
You know what? I think I'm now putting it together.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
Cause I had questions about whether you could pre cap something.
Devin Delacquante
You get it now?
Jordan Klepper
Now I get it. But we're previewing what is going to happen.
Devin Delacquante
We're opening minds over here.
Jordan Klepper
We're recapping what has already happened.
Devin Delacquante
It's a recap. But before.
Jordan Klepper
Right. We're previewing how we're gonna look back on things.
Devin Delacquante
Preview, but after.
Jordan Klepper
This is all so confusing.
Devin Delacquante
Yes.
Jordan Klepper
Why do we have to do so much content?
Devin Delacquante
That's it.
Jordan Klepper
We have to do much content. Oh, my God.
Devin Delacquante
That's it. Well, while Jordan Spirals. My name is Devin Delacouante. I'm a writer at the show, and I am joined today by your host this week, the having an existential crisis, Mr. Jordan Clapper.
Jordan Klepper
Oh, my gosh. We're just creating things out of nothing just because we have to fill the void. We just have to fill the void.
Devin Delacquante
Does your void feel filled?
Jordan Klepper
This is. See, Devin?
Sponsor/Ad Voice
This is.
Jordan Klepper
No, it still feels empty. Really, I. All we do is create content, and yet there's still an emptiness there. It's just a cup that has a hole in the bottom.
Devin Delacquante
That's it. Well, you better keep pouring, man.
Jordan Klepper
I guess. All right. Get another bottle of water in here.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Let's just.
Devin Delacquante
Let's go.
Jordan Klepper
Let's keep it going down.
Devin Delacquante
So let's start with what we missed over last week. We were not making shows last week. There's been a lot going on in the news, the most fun thing of which I would say is the Academy Awards.
Jordan Klepper
The Academy Awards. Shocker. I did not win an Academy Award this year.
Devin Delacquante
I'm so sorry.
Jordan Klepper
And I. Again, I blame the casting directors for having no interest in me being a part of any of the projects that they were a part of.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
So yet again, it's on you. Casting directors. You could have had this. Instead, you had all of the talented filmmakers.
Devin Delacquante
You could have. You know. Can I say you would have been a great vampire in Sinners. I would have been.
Jordan Klepper
Yeah. Yes. I think, like, I've. I think I've been an imposing. An imposing vampiric figure for quite some time.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Sure.
Devin Delacquante
A guy not invited to a cool party. That sounds awesome. You would have been.
Jordan Klepper
I've been prepping for that role for years and nothing. The guy nobody wants was begging to be let into a cool party.
Devin Delacquante
I like your music. Can I come in?
Jordan Klepper
Please? Please?
Devin Delacquante
No, no.
Jordan Klepper
That. I would have. I would have nailed it.
Devin Delacquante
I'm sorry.
Jordan Klepper
Shoot.
Devin Delacquante
I'm so sorry. Did you watch the Oscars?
Jordan Klepper
I did watch the Oscars.
Devin Delacquante
And what did you think?
Jordan Klepper
I enjoyed the Oscars. I Primarily see films with people who are on our show. So if you want me to see your film, you have to come on our show.
Devin Delacquante
It's a fair trade.
Jordan Klepper
I watch a lot of. I have a kid at home, so we watch a lot of the animated films and then we watch a lot of the films of the people around the show. Great movies this year.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
I was a big fan of one Battle after another, so I was glad that got some love.
Devin Delacquante
Best picture love.
Jordan Klepper
Best picture love. That's cool to see. Joachim Trier, we interviewed him on the show. A super, super talent director of sentimental value. Yep. Walked home with an Oscar or drove home. I don't know. Not a lot about the film.
Devin Delacquante
Hopefully not listening to this while he's driving.
Jordan Klepper
Hopefully. Yeah. I texted him. I was like, how are you getting home? I'm just worried about you guys. Haven't heard back. And I saw Begonia recently and I thought that movie was awesome. Didn't get any love. Another film we had on the show. A we had on the show. The Alabama Solution did not win best doc. I was rooting for that. But all in all, I think Hollywood fellated itself. So success, yes.
Devin Delacquante
Always a success. That's very good.
Jordan Klepper
I'm just glad they get to do it.
Devin Delacquante
Emmy winner Jordan Klepper says Hollywood, to
Jordan Klepper
be clear, I look forward to Hollywood fellating itself. If you're out there, I'm flexible. I've been stretching. So when the Emmy nominations come on out, I'll head out to Los Angeles, swallow any and all esoteric pride that I have and beg, beg for recognition.
Devin Delacquante
Another party. You're on the outside of asking to be invited in. Very good.
Jordan Klepper
Please, Michael B. Jordan, say yes. Let me come over there and talk to you.
Devin Delacquante
That would be great. Couple of things I wanted to mention about the Oscars. I thought it was very cool. Paul Thomas Anderson and Ryan Coogler both won their first Oscars within three minutes of each other. That was a very. A great moment both for original screenplay and adapted screenplay.
Jordan Klepper
That was cool to see.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Devin Delacquante
And also Sean Penn won for best supporting actor for his role in one battle after another. Was not there.
Jordan Klepper
Where do you think he was?
Devin Delacquante
Well, here's a good question. The New York Times reported after he skipped the proceedings on Sunday and headed to Europe where his plan as of late last week was to visit Ukraine. So Sean Penn, the place, if I was putting money on it, Sean Penn, the least likely place on earth would be the Oscars. Everywhere else like Sean Penn would be. Like Sean Penn could not be here to accept his award. He is tunneling out of prison with El Chapo.
Jordan Klepper
Sean Penn is not here. He has. Oh, he has freed Luigi. Has anybody checked on Luigi? Luigi is now free.
Devin Delacquante
Luigi and Sean Penn are on the run. He could not be here to accept his Oscar.
Jordan Klepper
Sean Penn has broken into a New York public school and is escorting the children into a nearby Montessori school. Sean Penny.
Devin Delacquante
Sean Penn could not be here. He is Nicholas Maduro's lawyer and they had to be in court. So that's.
Jordan Klepper
Sean Penn is breaking the animals out of the zoo, setting them free upon a town near you.
Devin Delacquante
Sean Penn could not be here. He is single handedly getting the tariffs off of the penguins.
Jordan Klepper
It's John Penn is fixing the war in Iran right now, is he not?
Devin Delacquante
No. Ukraine. Different war.
Jordan Klepper
Different. So he's working on that one. Then he'll move over to the Strait of Hormuz.
Devin Delacquante
He's very busy. The funny thing is, if you've seen one battle after another, I was picturing Sean Penn walking towards the front line of Ukraine the way he walks after another with the shoulder. We're doing a shoulder shimmy if you're listening to the podcast.
Jordan Klepper
Oh God.
Devin Delacquante
It's a real shoulder shimmy.
Jordan Klepper
He walked with gristle. I don't know how gristle walks. That's a gristle walk in that movie. He was a very impressive performance, well deserved. I hope you solve one of those problems or release any of those people that you're off to release right now. Sean Penn.
Devin Delacquante
Very good. So, Jordan, speaking of prizes, I wanted to talk about. Your last special with the Daily show was about Donald Trump's quest for the Nobel Peace Prize. And he didn't win.
Jordan Klepper
No, but he's still trying. Is he still trying?
Devin Delacquante
He's still trying. He's the Timothee Chalamet of. Of peace. Peace prizes. I would say he campaigned real hard for it, but he couldn't close the deal.
Jordan Klepper
And I gotta tell you that the Chalamet situation is giving me Ron Desantis vibes.
Devin Delacquante
Why is that?
Jordan Klepper
Well, Chalamet was all the talk for a while, ran a really hard promotional campaign, a very compelling campaign and that it seems as if in the few weeks it has turned with some ballerina comments and now he leaves empty handed. I'm reminded of a Ron Desantis who was the next wave of the Republican Party. We were moving past Donald Trump into this world of he was the face of the future. There are so few public figures who can exist beyond a six month period of being in America's Good graces. And I'm rooting for Chalamet. I love his performances. He was great. In a complete unknown. But you see this right now, this American appetite for celebrity and fame. We eat our own within six months. And I can see Democrats out there. Everybody's trying to figure out what the next Democratic presidential nominee will be, who that will be. And there is just no appetite beyond a six month period for authenticity or for characters in this universe. So I think if this says anything about the next election, it probably says we're not gonna figure out who the Dems choose until about June of 2028.
Devin Delacquante
That's fair. Yeah. Or even after.
Jordan Klepper
Was it?
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, maybe they'll just.
Jordan Klepper
Yeah, I mean, that's sort of what happened this last time.
Devin Delacquante
Cut bait on the candidate. Be like, how about somebody else?
Jordan Klepper
Shoot, we forgot it.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, never mind, never mind, never mind, never mind.
Jordan Klepper
Michael B. Jordan. Do you want to come in? Please, come on over.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, you could be two candidates. You could be the president and the vice president. Whatever you want, whatever you want to do. Yeah, please. So, yeah, the award season is over. Nobel Prize season is over. How would you say Donald Trump's campaign for next year's Nobel Prize is going?
Jordan Klepper
Poor, poor, poor at best.
Devin Delacquante
Why is that?
Jordan Klepper
It seems as if starting an entirely new war with Iran is going to be something that the Nobel Peace Prize Committee takes into account.
Devin Delacquante
You think so?
Jordan Klepper
I would like to think so.
Devin Delacquante
That'll be a strike against its record.
Jordan Klepper
They seem to be really focused on the peace part of the prize.
Devin Delacquante
Yes, that is fair.
Jordan Klepper
They care about the Nobel. But even the Nobel part points to instilling peace. And it seems as if Donald Trump's actions in these last two weeks. There seems very little interest in peace in the region and just westward expansionism or regime change or. Have we decided on why this is happening? Have you gotten a clear answer?
Devin Delacquante
Well, I saw a quote. Gas prices have obviously been going up, and that's been a problem. You know, it's a big economic issue in America. And one of the things that Trump said put to put people's mind at ease is the United States is the largest oil producer in the world by far. So when oil prices go up, we make a lot of money. So if the plan here was to make gas more expensive, mission accomplished.
Jordan Klepper
Get the banner.
Devin Delacquante
If we started a war to make gas more expensive, we did it.
Jordan Klepper
Which again, the history books may. They may be written right now to say exactly that so that we are comforted in our mission accomplished.
Devin Delacquante
This is the thing. When gas was Cheap. It was great because gas was cheap. But now that gas is expensive. It's great. Cause gas is expensive.
Jordan Klepper
That's what's so great about it.
Devin Delacquante
You kind of win either way.
Jordan Klepper
You kind of win either way. I think they're attempting to figure out a way around that right now based on that quote.
Devin Delacquante
We started this war to make gas more expensive. And now that we have, it's. Look at all of the signs. Here's the thing about gas prices. They're on signs everywhere you go. You get to see them. They're like one of the few prices you can just see out in the world.
Jordan Klepper
And they're up, Trump administer gas prices. Up rent up Trump. They give you what you want. America first.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, there you go. If there's some sort of Exxon Peace Prize. There you go. Exxon Price Prize.
Jordan Klepper
The Exxon Price Prize.
Devin Delacquante
That's good.
Jordan Klepper
Let me tell you, he's going to get. He is running. He is running way ahead of everybody else.
Devin Delacquante
Or a FIFA Exxon Price Prize.
Jordan Klepper
Just wait for it. It could happen.
Devin Delacquante
How many levels of prize could we get to?
Jordan Klepper
You can throw it out into the universe. It's coming back.
Devin Delacquante
I think it's good.
Jordan Klepper
This is. It has been wild how fast this war has come upon us and the things that we learn about throwing ourselves into a region to destabilize it. The Strait of Hormuz is now something that everybody is googling, trying to figure out where it is and realizing that it is affecting so many things on a global scale. Allies are now currently being asked to protect ships as they move through the Strait of Hormuz. And so far, we haven't gotten a lot of yeses, which is a bummer when now we're asking for help from our friends that we haven't been super kind to.
Devin Delacquante
We maybe shouldn't have picked huge fights with all of our allies, like six weeks ago.
Jordan Klepper
Seems as if there's not been a lot of pre planning about tactical oversight.
Devin Delacquante
Hey, can we take Greenland from you by force? No. All right. Hey, you want to help us in this other war? That's diplomatic.
Jordan Klepper
No, this is. There's not a whole lot of planning right now. Also, all of the conversation is. If not all the conversation. So much of the conversation is about the lack of planning, is about the lack of a clear mission, or at least a mission that has been articulated to the American public. And gas prices is something that Americans legitimately feel and it is affecting the economy. Where is the conversation around the morality within this choice? The terrible news about the Girls school that got bombed, the death toll, the Americans that are coming back, the families who now no longer have their sons and daughters. It's, it's remarkable how quickly we have to change the narrative to the economic ramifications. Yes, but there was no articulation as to what the risks are and morally where we're at with it. And there's almost no better place to see that where Russia is now a part of this. I've been getting the news updates how we are also taking back sanctions on Russian oil a week and a half after learning that Russia was collaborating with Iran. In terms of information about America's positions, Ukraine is sending supplies to help us. Like, at which point. So we are, we're helping Russia, but Russia's helping Iran, but we need to help Russia so that we can help better fight Iran. Like we're, this is. We're eating our own tail here.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yes.
Jordan Klepper
Or mostly we're just, we're flailing to try to find an economic solution to something that has, that has also loosely been made as a moral necessity. And yet what is happening with Russia in and of itself is articulating like there is no moral argument. There is just a piecemeal argument to try to make the buck.
Devin Delacquante
The problem is when you drive around, there aren't big signs that have the morality up or down. The gas prices you see on the streets, the people just talk about it that way. There's no moral number to follow.
Jordan Klepper
You just need Citgo to have it on there. It's like a thumbs up or thumbs down. Hey, we're living a little bit more of a moral life right now. Should we, should we go fill up on a little bit of that morality? On taking care or kindness? Can we get some more of that? It's going cheap right now.
Devin Delacquante
Regular premium diesel morality. Just put morality underneath, put it on a side and it would be way down.
Jordan Klepper
Could somebody please articulate in simple ways what we believe in? That's all I want.
Devin Delacquante
I don't think that's the era we're in right now.
Jordan Klepper
You know what? You might be right.
Devin Delacquante
I think so.
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Devin Delacquante
What do I want?
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Jordan Klepper
Really good.
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Devin Delacquante
One of the things that's also come about over the past weekend is it's not just the war in Iran. It also seems there's sort of a civil war within MAGA itself or like the the right wing coalition about whether they want to be in this war. There was a big fight over the weekend between Mark Levin of Fox News and Megyn Kelly of the Megyn Kelly show, whatever it is. And yeah, and also Tucker Carlson put out a big video saying the CIA is spying in his phone and that he expects some sort of charges from the CIA. So it seems like they've got their own kind of internal fights going on over this whole thing, which they're always, you know, attacking people on the center and in the left about. About things. So they're just kind of focusing their attention on each other right now. My particular favorite part of this was the fight between Megyn Kelly and Mark Levin. Megyn Kelly, after they went back and forth on Twitter, dubbed him micropenis Mark. And that was part of a big fight. Did you follow this at all?
Jordan Klepper
Well, I have an alert, a Google alert for micropenises. So yes, that's perfect.
Devin Delacquante
That's good.
Jordan Klepper
I always just want to know. I want to know what the latest science is just for reasons, just for reason. Don't worry about that. Don't worry about that. That's for my own whatever. I don't want people thinking about. Why would he have a Google alert for micropenis Micro penis.
Devin Delacquante
I have found question mark.
Jordan Klepper
It's just good to be. It's just scientific. I love jama.
Devin Delacquante
You love science.
Jordan Klepper
I love science. So I was mildly aware of the micropenis slander. It's curious because I believe micropenis was used multiple times. So Megyn Kelly referred to Mark Levin's micropenis, which on the surface feels like perhaps a slight. If you see Marc Levin, he has a phallic shape to him.
Devin Delacquante
Okay.
Jordan Klepper
And so I could see where if you're looking to slander somebody, you go towards.
Devin Delacquante
That's why you watch Life Liberty and Levin is, look at this phallic man.
Jordan Klepper
Oh, look at this. They should blur it, but they don't. That's what I like. Just don't blur it. So Fox News After Dark first, okay, we're gonna say he has a tiny dick. But then she doubled down on the micropenis common, which makes me think I spent enough time in MAGA rallies around conspiracy minded people to know. Look for the signs. There's probably. It probably goes deeper. Or if it doesn't go deeper, you can go deeper. Okay, so there's some intel out there about Mark Levin's micropenis. Okay to double down on. No, you have a micropenis. You have a micropenis. Must mean that Megyn Kelly, you have to respect somebody like Megyn Kelly. She sticks by her, her guns. You know, she does the research. So I'd like to take it at face value.
Devin Delacquante
I don't know that you have to respect that, but you don't think so. That's your opinion.
Jordan Klepper
No, I have nothing but faith in the Megyn Kelly show live on YouTube.
Devin Delacquante
Here's my favorite part of this, is that Donald Trump posted a big true social post defending Mark Levin, saying he was a great American. Whatever. It was a 313word post. But I do have to note, you know what word was not in that post? Penis. Nothing about penis. Nothing about micropenis. He did not address the allegations head on.
Jordan Klepper
The post is longer than the allegations of the size of Levin's. Levin.
Devin Delacquante
Yes. So there you have it.
Jordan Klepper
I'm glad this is the kind of debate that they're having, though, between the big heavyweights and the conservative movement.
Devin Delacquante
Yes. They immediately pivoted to micropenis. A war is happening. And now the debate is about Mark Levin.
Jordan Klepper
We could also pull this apart a little bit. Let's say Megyn Kelly doesn't have any intel on the size of Mark Levin's Levin. Then my second guess is that she is. She's making fun of Mark Levin's propensity towards violence. The idea that you have a small.
Devin Delacquante
An overcompensation.
Jordan Klepper
You're overcompensating with these acts of war and aggression. Fine, fine, make that argument Megyn Kelly. But let's go back to. Because that is an argument that the left tends to make towards the entire gun nuttery of the right.
Devin Delacquante
Okay.
Jordan Klepper
That you would only have an AR15 if you had a tiny penis. And so many folks in the Megyn Kelly world are outraged at that perspective. How dare you make fun of us for wanting to protect ourselves with these big guns and say it comes from having a small penis. And yet in this moment, Megyn Kelly uses that exact same argument to throw Levin under the bus.
Devin Delacquante
Sure. So you're suggesting, if I'm not reading too much into this, that the Second Amendment should just be like, guys, it's fine. You don't need the whole right to bear arms thing. It's like, look, guys, any size, you're fine. It's fine. You don't have to overcompensate. That we should just have more acceptance.
Jordan Klepper
Yes. The First Amendment should be freedom of speech, religion, press, yada, yada, yada. Second Amendment should be dudes, it's cool.
Devin Delacquante
Okay, finally, someone should stand up to make men feel better. If we could, in order.
Jordan Klepper
If just the founding fathers knew.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
That the men of our generation would be so, so butthurt by any kind of attacks that we just need to let them know, whatever you got going on down there, it's gonna be cool.
Devin Delacquante
It's fine.
Jordan Klepper
It's gonna be cool.
Devin Delacquante
It's fine.
Jordan Klepper
Don't make a big deal about it, okay? Just get on with your life.
Devin Delacquante
All right? I wanted to move from micropenis to another thing that people were talking about in and around the Iran war and the response to it last week, there was the dignified transfer of several soldiers who lost their lives over in Iran. Big controversy that when they arrived back, Donald Trump greeted the caskets, wore a hat. And then not only that, over the weekend, story kind of came, was a big scandal died down. And then now there is a fundraising email that went out for a Trump super PAC raising money with a picture of him greeting the caskets wearing the hat. So what did you make of this whole thing? It's something we missed last week. What's your reaction to.
Jordan Klepper
Well, if I was gonna defend Donald Trump, what is more dignified? The hair of Donald Trump or the hair covered of Donald Trump? I don't know. It seems as if it's a little uncouth to put a hat on, but we've seen that man's hair and perhaps he was acting in an act of. It was an act of dignity at this point.
Devin Delacquante
I mean, this seems like the most basic thing. The caskets are coming out. Take your hat off. Take the hat like, oh, I'm having a bad hair day, sorry, you gotta take the hat off.
Jordan Klepper
To me, this articulates the baseline of Trump's thought process. You are not wrong. That basic dignity and understanding of the mores of culture and just kindness and thoughtfulness towards a situation like that from a commander in chief, the person would consider that and the people around him would consider, oh, it's disrespectful to wear a hat. That sort of, that's sort of been understood. And yet I don't think Donald Trump actually thinks about it. I think he made a choice at some point earlier in the day that he didn't like how his hair looked. He put on a hat, and as he's walking out, he's not considering that he is wearing a hat. And also the people around him are so afraid, afraid of challenging that notion and telling them something that he doesn't want to hear that nobody says anything about. It's proof of the bubble that he is in that he gets to that point.
Devin Delacquante
The thing that's particularly infuriating to me is this is the stuff that they are so laser focused on all the time. The respect for the troops, the respect for the anthem, the respect for all those things. Colin Kaepernick can't play two hand touch football now because of all the anger around the anthem. And to then the first caskets, you have your hat on on the first caskets that come out from this conflict. It's just, it's mind boggling to me to do that. Oh, you had a bad hair day. Sorry. Like, you have to. Again, dignified transfer. And then. Okay, like, even if, even if you gave that, that response, a fundraising email with a picture of the. Like, it's out of. I can't. Like, I feel like. And then the launching of the war was from Mar a Lago with a hat on the usa. It feels like this war. We don't have an exit strategy, we don't have an entrance strategy, and we don't even have a dress code. There's just no understanding of what the basic preparation should be of Strait of Hormuz. Oh, wow. You know, we didn't know what was going to. Like, those things are important to have some sort of plan in place. And Yeah, I just, it's shocking to me because it's the thing they care about so much. And Fox News even used footage that was not the dignified transfer. They use old dignified transfer footage. And then they had to apologize for that because they know, man, this doesn't look good. This is really disrespectful. I think we need to update the rules.
Jordan Klepper
Well, update the rules as to. That's the one thing you can take away from this. If they are not going to change what they are doing. And like it or not, the dumbest, most. The dumbest kid from high school that you know is now in charge of this, this international military affair.
Devin Delacquante
Yes.
Jordan Klepper
And, and therefore, on every level, there's not prep that's being done. There's no articulation of what's happening. There's this, this false puffery about what we're doing and how badass we are. And then in the moments where you ask for something dignified, we are not gonna get it. The very least we can get out of this is new rules about when to wear hats at sporting events. And if you, like me, go to an NBA game, you stand up and you've had a bad hair day, please remove your hat.
Devin Delacquante
Please remove your hats in respect for.
Jordan Klepper
Yeah, that is a respectful thing to do. I do it every single time. But now, if you have a bad hair day, you should not. The commander in chief of the United States of America is not removing his hat. In fact, he's making money off keeping that hat on. You should be able to keep it on at NBA games.
Devin Delacquante
So no hats stay on at the anthem. That's what we're getting at right now.
Jordan Klepper
Hats stay on. In fact, I would argue this. If you are if you're a MAGA supporter, how dare you take your hat off. Your commander in chief is wearing a USA hat as the bodies of American soldiers are being paraded in front of him. How dare you. How unpatriotic of you to remove that hat during the national anthem. So let's see. Let's see what these MAGA supporters do.
Devin Delacquante
So you've gone all the way around that. Now you have to keep your hat on.
Jordan Klepper
Now I'm really talking myself. I think the new rules of patriotism demand you to show that amount of disrespect to our service members.
Devin Delacquante
Four years away from like, you have to kneel during the anthem or it's disrespectful. We're gonna come all the way around to. It's actually if you're genuflecting to the flag, you can get to that level of respect.
Jordan Klepper
This is a weird world we live in, Devin. No Kwatz anymore.
Devin Delacquante
There's no rules. Look, the morality on the gas chart way down.
Jordan Klepper
We just need some clarity. What are the boundaries of the world that we're living within and what are the things that we believe in? Can somebody just clarify that for us?
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Devin Delacquante
I mean, what is the point of launching a war at a country club if you can't enforce the dress code?
Jordan Klepper
What truth.
Devin Delacquante
Anyway, speaking of dress codes and fashion around, did you see the story about Donald Trump is. Has been gifting a particular type of shoes? You are pumping your fists in the air.
Jordan Klepper
Love this story.
Devin Delacquante
All right, tell me.
Jordan Klepper
Love this story. So the story, as I understand it, is Donald Trump loves floor shine shoes.
Devin Delacquante
Okay.
Jordan Klepper
A very. For my. A very mid range men's shoe company. Fine. No shade on Florsheim. It's no Cole Haan. You know, that sounds like shade. That is shade. And actually Cole Hahn comfortable shoe. Whatever. I don't need to. We don't need to. We don't need to parse this. What we can say is apparently Donald Trump thinks the people around him in his cabinet have shitty shoes and don't dress to impress and therefore purchased Florsheim shoes for cabinet members to wear around him. And there are now images of Marco Rubio wearing shoes that do not fit him that are way too big. And the understanding is that either Donald Trump purposely bought large shoes and is making them wear shoes that don't fit as a way to show respect for Donald Trump.
Devin Delacquante
Sure.
Jordan Klepper
Or ask them for their shoe size. There's some reporting that he does ask people for their shoe size and then purposely pick the wrong shoes.
Devin Delacquante
Or you Want to grow into it, or like, as someone who's bought shoes for children, you know.
Jordan Klepper
Well, that's the thing.
Devin Delacquante
Little Marco, he's got growing still to
Jordan Klepper
do this, to me, has all the great elements that just expose what this MAGA movement is about, which is like, it's unbridled fidelity towards one lunatic authoritarian to the point that is so, so degrading to who you are as a person. So Marco Rubio is either lying about the size shoes he needs because he wants his feet to seem big to
Devin Delacquante
make himself look more manly.
Jordan Klepper
Exactly. Or he's getting shoes that don't fit. And instead of being a fucking adult and not wearing them, or even being adult and saying, thank you for this gift. I'm going to return them and get them in a size that I need to wear, he instead puts on literal clown shoes to wander around because he doesn't want to offend the emperor. The emperor who wears no clothes. And as somebody who has foot problems, let me tell you, me and my podiatrist will tell you, you have to wear comfortable shoes.
Devin Delacquante
You do.
Jordan Klepper
You reach a certain age if your shoes do not fit from a chafing perspective, that's horrendous. Or just from a mere bone structure, you're putting too much weight on the sesamoid bones if you're overcompensating with a back that's wide open like that.
Devin Delacquante
You know a lot about foot bones,
Jordan Klepper
let me tell you. So I've broken my foot multiple times. One from working out and a second time from standing too long. Devin, this is what happens when you get to a.
Devin Delacquante
How long did you stand?
Jordan Klepper
I couldn't get a table for two and a half hours. I stood at a bar and I re. Broke my foot. This happens just from standing? Yes, I broke my foot Standing too long.
Devin Delacquante
The rest of your body is just pushing down with such a force of gravity. Yes. That you just heard a snap.
Jordan Klepper
Standing still, you feel enough pressure that the fracture just exacerbates and pop. That's what happens. So this is, in many ways, this is the accountability that we're going to get with the Trump administration. It's. You want there to be hearings after all this goes down? No, it is. It is the shame that these people have to live with in wearing shoes that don't fit. And I know it fucking hurts.
Devin Delacquante
Can we pull up that picture of Marco Rubio, actually, with the. For the. For our viewers online who are watching this and not listening, there's a great picture. Oh, we're looking at. So Many pictures. This looks like Quentin Tarantino's browser history right now. We're just gonna.
Jordan Klepper
Here's what I'm gonna say. Americans, they want this Trump administration after all this goes down. They want the accountability. They want their moment in court. They want their Nuremberg.
Devin Delacquante
You're saying we're not gonna get that. They're just gonna get plantar fasciitis and that's it.
Jordan Klepper
That's the Nuremberg. Okay.
Devin Delacquante
They're fascist. This is what you're saying.
Jordan Klepper
There is. It's plantar fascistitis.
Devin Delacquante
Fascistitis.
Jordan Klepper
That's what's going on here.
Devin Delacquante
Fascism is on the march. It's getting less and less arch support by the minute.
Jordan Klepper
I mean, in the future, as stories disappear, I do think things will. I will always remember the Four Seasons Landscaping, to me as such an emblematic moment in the Trump administration. And this story, to me has the. The possibility of reaching that level.
Devin Delacquante
That's good. I liked when you saw the pictures of Rubio in the shoes. There's like a Trump thick ankle sized hole where people should. Like, when you see somebody who has jeans and you're like, you're not filling out these jeans. That's what his shoes look like. Trump's like, nah, man, let's get them the ankle. Really get some room for those juicy ankles.
Jordan Klepper
That's the thing. Trump has a total misunderstanding. Not only does he not know how the regular Americans live, he doesn't know what the price of milk is. He also doesn't know what the size of ankles are.
Devin Delacquante
Ankle circumference is your issue.
Jordan Klepper
Yes. He can't empathize with Marco Rubio anymore.
Devin Delacquante
He's just walking around flopping with his feet.
Jordan Klepper
He believes shoes should be the size to carry, like, a gallon of paint in them. He's like, well, that's what a shoe is. It holds a gallon's worth of liquid.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Devin Delacquante
Oh, those are nice shoes. Where'd you get them, Benjamin Moore? They're my.
Jordan Klepper
Yeah, they have the best tubs to put my liquid feet in.
Devin Delacquante
Very good. All right, so that's sort of the things we missed over the past week. I'll do a very quick mention. Kash Patel invited some FBI agents to train with UFC fighters. I just wanted to read this quote to you because it's a lot of fun. Kash Patel said, I'm thrilled to announce this historic seminar between the FBI and the UFC at Quantico. This is a tremendous opportunity for our FBI agents to learn and train with some of the greatest athletes on Earth, helping the world's premier law enforcement agency be even better prepared to protect the American people. Do you think this will help the FBI to train with UFC fighters?
Jordan Klepper
You know, I don't know how important a neck hold is to today's FBI, but I do know Kash Patel's gonna get to hang out with some sweaty dudes, and he loves it.
Devin Delacquante
He loves being in a locker room.
Jordan Klepper
That's all he wants, right? Put that man in a locker room, give him some beers to chug, and he is a happy little camper.
Devin Delacquante
We have to hope that if there are domest, they all take place in the octagon. And so we're ready. We're ready to take them on wherever those threats may be, as long as those threats are in the octagon.
Jordan Klepper
Put the threats in the octagon. We will be prepped for that. Yes, I believe we are cutting certain important FBI agents and departments that could be prepping for, I don't know, domestic terrorist situation. We're at war. We are at war. Perhaps we could put the energy to try to prevent any type of situation. But apparently he's got a thought out. So him and Dana White are gonna figure out ways in which to amp up the beef.
Devin Delacquante
That's it. Listen, can I just say that if FBI agents were trained in ufc, Silence of the Lambs would have been that much better a movie. Come on.
Jordan Klepper
It really would, right?
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Devin Delacquante
Just go and Buffalo Bill and Clarice just taking it into the ring.
Jordan Klepper
Pain and gain meets Silence of the Lambs. Who wouldn't want to watch that?
Devin Delacquante
Hannibal Lecter, Undefeated. Come on. Ooh, a cauliflower ear. Tell me more. Delicious. I'd watch that.
Jordan Klepper
I would say for a cannibal, a cauliflower ear has to really be up there on the level of food. I mean, maybe that's also gristly.
Devin Delacquante
Possibly. Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
I really don't know the consistency of cauliflower ear.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, well, it's all how you prepare it.
Jordan Klepper
You know, if you do it right, it can taste like steak.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, that's it. You get a nice seasoning on it.
Jordan Klepper
It's the way you cut it. It's all about how you cut a cauliflower ear.
Devin Delacquante
Get a nice grill. Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
Get a nice. And then you sear the top, and you sear the bottom, and then you eat the character.
Devin Delacquante
Char.
Jordan Klepper
Char. And then you'll never notice it's not just regular human flesh.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, no, this is great for the FBI. This is all going to go great. Score more with the college branded Venmo debit card and earn up to 5% cash back with Venmo stash. Got paid back with the Venmo debit card. You can instantly access your balance and spend on what you want, like game day, snacks, gear, tickets and more. The more you do, the more cash back you can earn. Plus, there's no monthly fee or minimum balance. Sign up now@venmo.com collegecard the Venmo Mastercard is issued by the Bancorp NA Select Schools available Venmo Stash terms and exclusions apply@venmo me stashterms max $100 cash back per month. Your little one grew 3 inches overnight. Adorable. Also expensive. Sell their pint sized pieces on Depop and list them in minutes with no selling fees because somewhere a dad refuses to pay full price for the clothes his kids will outgrow tomorrow. And he's ready to buy your son's entire wardrobe right now. Consider your future growth expert budget secured. Start selling on Depop where taste recognizes taste. Payment processing fees and boosting fees still apply. See website for details. All right, so that's what we missed. What are some of the things you're looking at for this coming week?
Jordan Klepper
We got a big week. We're going to keep our eye on what's happening in Iran. That's straight of Hormuz. Now that we all know where it is.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah. And what it is.
Jordan Klepper
And what it is. We can keep an eye on it.
Devin Delacquante
Straight of Hormuz. Not straight.
Jordan Klepper
No curves. It's a curve.
Devin Delacquante
That's confusing too.
Jordan Klepper
It's. It's so cute.
Devin Delacquante
We didn't study the geography. It's got a big bend in it. We didn't anticipate the bend. It's called the Strait of Hormuz.
Jordan Klepper
The straight Hormuz.
Devin Delacquante
It's not that kind of straight.
Jordan Klepper
I thought it'd be super simple. Now I gotta turn. What's going on here?
Devin Delacquante
Eminem's got us again.
Jordan Klepper
We're gonna see what happens with these allies. I think a lot of asks are out to see who our friends are on a global scale. We'll see which of those friends have our back. Mark Wayne Mullen, one of the best named people in this Trump administration.
Devin Delacquante
I love it. I love a Mark Wayne.
Jordan Klepper
He's got a confirmation hearing this week, so we'll keep an eye on that. Yep.
Devin Delacquante
He's a mark.
Jordan Klepper
Is Mark gonna show up? Is Wayne gonna show up?
Devin Delacquante
Oh, they both gonna show up.
Jordan Klepper
You'd hope they're both.
Devin Delacquante
You gonna get half a mark. Half of Wayne.
Jordan Klepper
This is. I'm trying to Figure out which part I trust more. Do I trust the. I mean, the Mark side to me is a. Is a thoughtful person. A person who plays by the rules.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
Wayne is a wild card.
Devin Delacquante
That's it. My Mark is telling me no, but my Wayne. My Wayne is telling me yes.
Jordan Klepper
There was glee in the Daily show writers room when Mark Wade Mullen.
Devin Delacquante
Man, the amount of things we were throwing around. Insane in the Mark Wayne. Insane in the Wayne. I'll shout out Lorne means for that one great one made us all laugh.
Jordan Klepper
This is just a Slack channel. Was it for any purposeful joke or it was mostly like, oh, look, Mark Wayne Mullen is.
Devin Delacquante
You never know when a joke is going to be useful.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
No.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah. Another great one I loved Lily Blumpkins was We found Mark in Hopeless Wayne Rihanna. That one was making me laugh.
Jordan Klepper
This week might just be Mark Wayne Mullen puns.
Devin Delacquante
Yes.
Jordan Klepper
If we do it right. He is a character and a half. I mean, he threatened to fight someone.
Devin Delacquante
The Teamsters president, Sean o'. Brien.
Jordan Klepper
That's right.
Devin Delacquante
He was ready to throw down with him. And now they're friends.
Jordan Klepper
Are they pals now?
Devin Delacquante
They're pals now.
Jordan Klepper
Oh, see, maybe there's a redemption story here.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
If Mark and Wayne can live together as one strange first name, then perhaps we can all look at that as an example that we can aspire towards.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Very good.
Devin Delacquante
Look at you seeing the hope.
Jordan Klepper
You gotta squint for it.
Devin Delacquante
That glass is half full. That Mark is halfwayne. We've also got the leader of the Prime Minister of Ireland is coming to America and will be here on St. Patrick's Day.
Jordan Klepper
The best day for any true Irish person to come to America.
Devin Delacquante
Yes, it's good. We're putting our best foot forward when it comes to the Irish on St Patrick's Day.
Jordan Klepper
Yeah, look, we clearly respect your culture. Go to any of our local pubs and see how much we respect Irish culture.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah. Please don't go outside. Please don't. This is like if Santa Claus came on santacon, he would be like, is this what you think of me?
Jordan Klepper
I met this weekend, I met the best Irish ladies. I was walking past the subway station.
Devin Delacquante
I believe they're called lasses.
Jordan Klepper
Lasses. I met the best lasses. They hop out of a subway station and they stop me on the street. They're like, are you. I'm not even gonna do the accent. Cause I have so little faith in myself and so much respect for you. But they were like, are you from here? And I said, yes. Like, can you tell me where the Marriott is. And I don't know where the Marriott is. And as I'm like, well, I'm not exactly. And they stop. They go, we don't need to know where it is. We just kind of need to know what direction. Can you just point us in the direction? I was like, oh, I think it's in that direction. They're like, thanks. We're Irish, we're drunk. We just need to know which way to ramble. I was like, great, cool. Slant.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Ya.
Jordan Klepper
And they go, slant, yeah. And then they head off in the general direction of a Marriott, which to me, it was noon on a Sunday, to me, was so joyful and lovely about these Irish ladies. Like, yes, thank you. You don't need me to walk you to the Marriott. You just need a general direction, and your joy and inebriation will take you there.
Devin Delacquante
Great. That was not the delegation of the Prime Minister.
Jordan Klepper
It might have been the Prime Minister. It could be part of his or her delegation. I don't know enough about the Irish Prime Minister.
Devin Delacquante
Fair.
Jordan Klepper
I believe we Googled the Irish Prime Minister's name before this podcast, only to realize we didn't want to attempt to pronounce.
Devin Delacquante
I'm not gonna try to pronounce it because I respect you too much. I'll try to pronounce it.
Jordan Klepper
This will be internal drama with the Daily Show. This week is if that story rises to the point where we do come at it on the show. Do I pronounce it? Do I find some clever workaround to just reference the Prime Minister of Ireland or. Gaelic pronunciations might be some of the hardest ones that are out there.
Devin Delacquante
This is a hell of a cliffhanger for your week.
Jordan Klepper
Oh, my God.
Devin Delacquante
Tune in to see if Jordan Klepper will do the tightrope of pronouncing Gaelic.
Jordan Klepper
I know. Oh, God. Oh, God.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah. You read Finnegan's Wake by James Joyce and yet you can't pronounce the Gaelic.
Jordan Klepper
I can't figure it out. I really can't figure it out.
Devin Delacquante
Oh.
Jordan Klepper
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Devin Delacquante
All right, now it's time for a little something that we call Daily show and tell. This is something that you've watched or read or listened to or argued about or something that's just generally been on your mind that you wanted to share with our viewers and listeners.
Jordan Klepper
Here's the thing that I've, I've. That has brought me much joy recently is a pal of mine who was on the Daily show recently, Langhorne Slim gave me a great recognition. We share a lot of musical tastes and I like listening to vinyl records. And he hit me to this thing called Mississippi Records, which is a record label out of Oregon, I believe. And they get all these long lost recordings from all over the globe. They have a good payment structure where they give the money back to the people who they get it from. And it's a record club. You pay a yearly subscription base and they send you whatever records they have and they're doing. And they've sent me, literally, I have Greek music from the 1920s. I got Ethiopian church music from the 70s. They found this beautiful Ethiopian nun who wrote predominantly classical music that was sold in churches in the 70s that they got the rights to and have put it onto vinyl. And to me, it is the anti algorithm. I give money to this lovely little company in Oregon and they will send me random batches of music from all over. This music you can't find on Spotify. It's music that's just from all over the globe, that is curated, it's beloved. It is surprising and it breaks my head out of the chaos of the algorithms and the times that we are in. So I am loving it. Mississippi Records, I couldn't recommend it more if you're a vinyl nerd and just kind of want to break your mind outside of it.
Devin Delacquante
Wonderful.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Devin Delacquante
What about you? I will say the new novel Vigil by George Saunders, who is coming on the show tomorrow. I read that in preparation to kind of discuss and do guest questions.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
It was.
Devin Delacquante
It's great.
Jordan Klepper
I love it.
Devin Delacquante
Yeah, it's. If you don't want to know, I went in totally clink. Didn't read the dust jacket or anything. I was like, I'm just gonna experience this. If you want to go in that way, do that skip 30 seconds ahead thing on the podcast. Quickly starting. Hit the button. I'll give you a second to hit the button before I spoil what the premise is. Okay, great. So it's about kind of an angel or a series of angels visiting this sort of oil Tycoon on his deathbed. And really beautiful, really profound. A lot of, you know, questions about morality. Again, you could have the morality on a gas Stein. That's what this book is. Is meant to do. And about his life, about the meaning of it, the moral things he did, the immoral things. Grappling with that, if we even have choice over it, it was wonderful. So I really recommend that book.
Jordan Klepper
Saunders is. He's one of my favorite authors, and I am reading this book for the interview that we have on Tuesday. Just writing notes throughout. At one point, I just wrote, he's so kind to his characters. He's covered the MAGA movement somewhat as well. He went to MAGA rallies and wrote a New Yorker piece about it. And it's just remarkable. I can't wait to talk to him because I do think he's such a moral writer. And he has characters in here that you want to throw under the bus for the actions that they've done. And he grapples with this idea of how much grace to give to human beings and what the role of faith is and what the role of comfort is in how we see other people. He talks about human beings. One of the characters, I think I've heard him talk interviews about this is a book of questions. He creates characters who have moral quandaries that. That isn't one particular answer, but one of the characters really goes inside the body of somebody who is a murderer and comes out of it saying, there is no other way for that person to be talking about humans being inevitable. And I think that's such an interesting place to be in conversation that he has, because he also bumps it up against another character, the Frenchman, who thinks there should be more culpability and accountability for the actions that we take. And this book asks a lot of the questions that we have at the show and the time that we are in, also in such a playful manner. Sanders is so silly and goofy.
Sponsor/Ad Voice
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
There was a moment where I started reading this and I started, in my mind seeing it as a Tim Burton film.
Devin Delacquante
Oh, yeah. Okay.
Jordan Klepper
Where, like, it's silly and it's playful and it's spooky. And I even read my son, who's 5, hopped in bed with me and was like, what are you reading? And I was telling him about this book. He doesn't read a lot of adult fiction.
Devin Delacquante
Sure, sure.
Jordan Klepper
Or read much at all. And I was like, you know what? Let me read some of it to you. And I started. And I. And he was. He was totally bought in. I read the first five pages to him and just the world it conjures is so funny and interesting and playful. And it's literally an angel falling upside down into earth, like face planted into the ground, rebuilding their body as they walk. And my son is, like laughing at it and reacting to it. It was really, it was really lovely to see him have an emotional reaction and understand some of these things at play. Even though this book deals with such adult themes, it does it in such an accessible way. I could recommend that it had a
Devin Delacquante
feel almost of like a Christmas carol, but also a Muppet Christmas carol where you're like, this is silly. And yeah, that's spot on.
Jordan Klepper
I love that.
Devin Delacquante
So we recommend that book and we recommend that interview for Tuesday night.
Jordan Klepper
He'll be on hasn't happened yet, but I think it's gonna go well.
Devin Delacquante
Will it go well? Will you speak Gaelic to him? You'll have to tune in to find out. Very stressful.
Jordan Klepper
Oh, it got so stressful.
Devin Delacquante
All right, well, that is this week pre capped. My name is Devin Delacquante. Be sure to catch Jordan Klepper, the one and only hosting the Daily show this week on Comedy Central and Paramount and right here in podcast form on the Daily Show Ears Edition.
Jordan Klepper
Thanks, Devin.
Devin Delacquante
Thank you.
Jordan Klepper
Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 sets on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount.
Devin Delacquante
Plus,
Jordan Klepper
this has been a Comedy Central podcast.
Date: March 16, 2026
Host: Jordan Klepper
Guest/Co-host: Devin Delacquante
This episode of the “Precap,” The Daily Show’s hybrid recap/preview podcast, features Jordan Klepper and writer Devin Delacquante breaking down the week’s headlines with trademark Daily Show irreverence. They recount recent events — from the Oscars to the ongoing war with Iran and internal MAGA feuding — and preview the coming week, riffing on everything from footwear politics to the oddities of international diplomacy. The episode is packed with satirical banter, mock existential despair, and a sharp eye on the absurdities of the current political and cultural climate.
Throughout, the tone is sardonic, playful, and sharply satirical — consistent with The Daily Show’s style. Klepper leans heavily into absurdism, using humor to highlight political contradictions and cultural hypocrisy while maintaining genuine, if often weary, curiosity about “what we believe in.” The co-host dynamic is loose and improvisational, with running jokes and meta-commentary on the futility (and necessity) of modern content creation.
This summary covers all critical segments from the episode. Advertisements and non-content sections have been omitted.