← The Daily Show: Ears Edition
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
The Precap | Josh Johnson on Airport Freakouts, Betting Scandals and What to Do With a Billion Dollars
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- [00:00]
Ad Host
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- [01:35]
David Angelo
You're listening to Comedy Central.
- [01:53]
Ad Host
Everyone.
- [01:53]
David Angelo
Welcome to the Pre Cap, where we sit down with this week's Daily show host to preview what's coming up and recap some of the news we might have missed. I'm David Angelo, a writer on the Daily show, and I'm joined today by the Josh Johnson. Josh, coming to us from a La Quinta Inn business center.
- [02:13]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, yeah, I'm doing my best. You know, I would have loved to be there in person, but the business center called.
- [02:20]
David Angelo
Well, we understand. You know, be careful with those computers. They got more viruses than the Wuhan Institute of Virology. So just. All right, we're coming out hot. So, Josh, you're hosting the Daily show this week. I think that's the.
- [02:37]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, that's, I think that's the whole reason we do it.
- [02:40]
David Angelo
That's why we're doing it.
- [02:41]
Josh Johnson
And.
- [02:43]
David Angelo
You'D spend four or five weeks since you've hosted. Right. And a lot has happened since you've recorded at least 84 new hours of stand up comedy.
- [02:54]
Josh Johnson
Oh, yeah, yeah. I do my best.
- [02:56]
David Angelo
And a lot of other events have taken place. So the question is, what did we miss? What has happened? Was there a time in the, when you were on the, when you were sitting on the sidelines, not hosting the last five weeks where there was a big story that came out and, and you said, geez, you know, I wish they could, I wish I could sub in. You know, I wish I could come. Mariano Rivera, this thing.
- [03:21]
Josh Johnson
I feel like I have really lucked out that there were weeks where things happened and I was not hosting. And then there are things that happened while I was hosting. Like, I actually could not have asked for a better set of events. So there, there hasn't really been a thing that happened where I was like, oh, if only I was hosting this week. I would, I would talk about it. I feel like we've done a good job of carrying into the news of the day the thing that happened that I'm at least interested in. Like, I remember the NBA thing is it goes deeper and it is crazier than, than I think a lot of people give credit for.
- [04:00]
David Angelo
It's the craziest.
- [04:02]
Josh Johnson
We just don't care. For some reason, people don't care. I don't know, man. I'm like, I am so shocked that this isn't a bigger scand.
- [04:11]
David Angelo
It should be the only news story in America right now. For all these years they've been rigging games, right? I mean, what, what? That's like huge. We're still talking about 1919 with the White Sox. A hundred years later. They rig one game, we can't get over it. And then the NBA comes out and they're like, oh, yeah, no, by the way, everything has been fake the whole time. And we're just like, all right, cool.
- [04:33]
Josh Johnson
There's that. And I don't know if you saw the fights. There's all of this speculation now with a lot of different fights that they've been fixed. So it's just the sports betting was already insane. I can only imagine what it's going to be now that like now, like now bets will have to be even more insane. So people just don't think it's all being rigged all the time.
- [04:59]
David Angelo
I mean, I must, I don't know if you sports bet, but I don't. But if I had lost a bet that was a rigged fight, I'd be, I'd be down at I'd be at small claim score today.
- [05:10]
Josh Johnson
Yeah. Yeah.
- [05:11]
David Angelo
How do people not get upset about that?
- [05:14]
Josh Johnson
I don't know, man. I mean, I guess if you are gambling a lot, you probably have other problems other than the bets you lost that are. That were fixed fights.
- [05:23]
David Angelo
There's a terminal sadness to the.
- [05:25]
Josh Johnson
I do think so. I don't bet at all because I don't. I. Whatever sport I watch, I would like to enjoy the sport. I don't want. I don't want to watch the sport. I mean, imagine to me, you know, I've always loved mixed martial arts. I've always loved boxing. And so I know boxing has its own long history with fixed fights and everything like that, but said all that to say that, like, if I were watching that sport, I want to watch it, to watch what I think is going to happen. And if it happens, if there's money on the game, we're having a totally different conversation.
- [05:59]
David Angelo
It takes some of the fun out.
- [06:02]
Josh Johnson
It takes all the fun out.
- [06:03]
David Angelo
I lost a $50 bet on how to pronounce Hoist Gracie and that, you know. Remember Hoist Gracie?
- [06:09]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, yeah.
- [06:11]
David Angelo
The fans listening really love the hoist Gracie stuff. But what you. You were saying you're following mixed martial arts?
- [06:20]
Josh Johnson
Oh, no, I'm just saying I imagine it feels like watching your. Your child's dance recital, but with money on it.
- [06:30]
David Angelo
Right.
- [06:31]
Josh Johnson
Like, there's something that. There's something that could be becoming a core memory for you that is a fun thing to watch that is, like, the reason people do sports. And instead it's become this, like, is she. Is she gonna, you know, cover the jump?
- [06:45]
David Angelo
Right.
- [06:45]
Josh Johnson
And it's just like that. Like, what is that? What is. Why would you. I don't know that, but that's my thing, I guess, a little bit against betting in general. I know some people bet and don't have a huge problem, so it's, you know, a recreation for them.
- [07:03]
David Angelo
I'll do Powerball. Oh, yeah. Ever since they let you do it on your phone. Mm. Because nothing was the worst part about gambling. Used to be you'd have to go down to the 7 11. Yeah. And it was like, you know what? A hundred million is not even worth it. It's not even worth it. This whole thing where I got to stand in line there. But now you. They let you do it on the phone, and so I'll play Powerball and I'll do the. You know, I don't wait for the big billion dollar ones. If it's up 3, do them all 300, 400 mil. I'll take that kind of money because I'm a, you know, I'm like a man of the people winning the lottery. That is the ultimate nouveau riche. Used to be kind of like, you know, oh, this guy, you know, he is. There's nothing more new money than winning a half a billion dollars at the gas station.
- [07:49]
Josh Johnson
At the gas station is what does it. If they had just had a raffle at like a country club.
- [07:55]
David Angelo
That's old money.
- [07:56]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, but like a gas station is like, we sent one of us as a representative.
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David Angelo
Yeah. They make it so you have to come from nothing. You know what I mean? All the lottery, it's in the dregs. It's like we gotta go in our back alley here to play the lottery. Do a nice country club lottery. You'd feel better.
- [08:19]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, I guess so. I guess so. But then it does become a question of, like, entry. Like, can anybody get access to the country club now just so they can buy the ticket? They can't swim. No, I'm just saying they can't golf, but, like, they can come in, buy a lottery ticket and then they gotta go.
- [08:34]
David Angelo
Yeah, that's not a good customer to have around. But I'm saying just sell Powerball at the lottery. At the country club.
- [08:40]
Josh Johnson
At the country club, yeah.
- [08:42]
David Angelo
Somewhere nice I can put on a nice suit, go in.
- [08:45]
Josh Johnson
We would be selling it to people who need it the least.
- [08:49]
David Angelo
Yeah, that's the worst. When they announce the winner and it's like some guy who owns like an auto dealership or something, it's like you are already fine.
- [08:59]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, you really want a Cinderella story. But then we always act surprised when with that Cinderella story comes the story of people, like, absolutely blowing their money.
- [09:13]
David Angelo
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- [09:47]
Josh Johnson
That's a great question. Okay, billion.
- [09:49]
David Angelo
A billion. So it's. You have excess right now. There's only so much you can buy. You can only buy so many cars. You can only. But you have power money now.
- [09:57]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, I have. If I have power money, I think I Would. I shouldn't even say some of this in case I ever do play the lottery and win, but, like, I think I would just for one or two years. Like, I think this thing could be done in one year. So, like, I would just, like this. This is. This is bad. So just so you know, I'm warning you now. This is bad.
- [10:21]
David Angelo
Love it.
- [10:22]
Josh Johnson
I'm not telling you. I'm not telling anybody to do this. This is what I would do in this hypothetical, hypothetical, hypothetical situation where I am now a billionaire on paper, but really just a high millionaire after taxes. I think I would give it a year of buying, like, school lunch debt while also lobbying to just change the funding for schools so that lunch was included. And if anybody stood in my way, they would disappear like that. Like, Like. Like, if they're. Like, if there was somebody that was like, no, it builds character to starve. I think I would be like, oh, okay, I hired a private investigator, and here are all your secrets. I'm ruining you. Or I'm like, I love how you're couching it.
- [11:06]
David Angelo
I'll be a bad guy. You know, if they don't let me solve world poverty, I'm gonna come down on these guys. If they don't let me feed the children, I'm gonna get them.
- [11:15]
Josh Johnson
Not world poverty, just third grade poverty.
- [11:18]
David Angelo
Just third grade poverty. Well, I'm still being nice. You're like, you prefaced that like you were gonna do, like, I'm gonna take over Puff Daddy's parties and get the. I'm gonna buy the email. That's how you prefaced it. And then you come on. You're like, I'm gonna buy school lunch for everybody.
- [11:32]
Josh Johnson
Look, look, I think I would definitely buy. I would have a Rubik's Cube collection and comic book collection that would put all others to shame.
- [11:44]
David Angelo
You do a Rubik's Cube?
- [11:46]
Josh Johnson
I don't do it well. I'm still learning, so I don't do it, like, fast. I just do it. And it's a nice hobby to, like, learn the other algorithms. But it's not something that I would say I'm good at by any means, but I would buy all of the novelty ones. Then I would go on a bit of a shopping spree as far as comic books go. Not for, like, old novelty yellow papers.
- [12:09]
David Angelo
Superman 1 is that.
- [12:11]
Josh Johnson
No, I actually don't need that action comics golden era stuff, because that's not what I really read anyway. So I would just be having that to be like, look at me, I'm rich. I Would more buy all of the. I would just buy everything that I ever thought I would read. And then from there, I would be in, like, a really dope position to just sit and read comic books all the time for the rest of my life.
- [12:39]
David Angelo
You know, you could do that probably on your normal salary right now. These are not big reaches. What do you.
- [12:47]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, I suppose not. I just. I guess I'm coming from a place of, like. I don't think maybe I'm so picky when it comes to comic books, though, that I probably am. Almost done.
- [12:57]
David Angelo
All right, just so we can get the comic book community clip here, what's your number one comic book that you would buy if you had unlimited funds?
- [13:07]
Josh Johnson
Anything Ed Brubaker touches, makes, writes, coughs on anything Ed Brubaker does. I think the man is a genius, and I think every story that he tells is spectacular.
- [13:19]
David Angelo
Well, there's your clip for the comic community. We'll put that out. And now I'll ask. I have no idea who that guy is, so we can. We'll cut it right before me saying that. And Ed Brubaker, did he do Spawn?
- [13:32]
Josh Johnson
I don't think he did spawn, but he did do. He did do a little bit of Batman. He did Gotham Central.
- [13:38]
David Angelo
Okay.
- [13:39]
Josh Johnson
And he did some. I think he did some Daredevil.
- [13:47]
David Angelo
So he's in the mix. These are big names. He's not like a fringe guy.
- [13:50]
Josh Johnson
Oh, no, he's huge. He's huge. He essentially holds the corner market and the entire lane of comic book noir right now.
- [14:00]
David Angelo
Ed, if you're listening, Sean Phillips.
- [14:03]
Josh Johnson
Sean Phillips, the artist is incredible. Jacob Phillips is great, too.
- [14:06]
David Angelo
All right, well, the Phillips brothers and Ed, if you're listening.
- [14:12]
Josh Johnson
Jacob's the son.
- [14:13]
David Angelo
Jacob.
- [14:14]
Josh Johnson
Sean is his dad.
- [14:15]
David Angelo
You know, Sean, he looks so young, and I can barely tell if you guys are listening and you want to send some. How about, like, an original frame? You know, like, what do they call those when they do the art?
- [14:27]
Josh Johnson
Can I tell you? Yes, yes.
- [14:29]
David Angelo
Sign one and send it to Josh. We'll put it up on the pod here.
- [14:32]
Josh Johnson
Can I tell you right now, I really blew some money when I was in Austin. I went to Austin Comics, and it was Austin books and comics, and it was an incredible experience. They had so much. They had the absolute version. Absolute is like when they have the extra pages, the extra art, the background stuff, everything. They had the absolutes of so many different titles. And I bought a lot of stuff, and they were kind enough to mail it to me because I actually bought too much to carry Out.
- [15:04]
David Angelo
Oh, my God. That is a lot. A comic book is. What are we talking about, 2 ounces apiece.
- [15:09]
Josh Johnson
Yeah. But I was buying whole collections.
- [15:12]
David Angelo
Wow.
- [15:13]
Josh Johnson
So when they put the whole collection in the big thick book, that's what I like to get so I don't have to keep hunting.
- [15:18]
David Angelo
Yeah. I mean, that's when you know you're kind of, you're doing well. When you have the comic stores mailing you, mailing you the merchandise.
- [15:26]
Josh Johnson
Or you're just like a nerd that grew up. You're just like a nerd with an address now.
- [15:30]
David Angelo
Do you do action figures?
- [15:32]
Josh Johnson
No, I don't. I never got into them as much. And I, and I also think that they, they take up space in a different way. So it's like comics, I'm one bookshelf away from, like, I'm not making a mess anymore. Yeah, figures, you got to like, you.
- [15:48]
David Angelo
Got to really display them.
- [15:49]
Josh Johnson
Well, you got to display them sometimes. I mean, I've had a couple of friends who really had their lights set up a certain way to shine on the figures. So.
- [15:58]
David Angelo
Yeah, yeah. That's more of a lifestyle choice than a standard collection would be.
- [16:05]
Josh Johnson
Well, and for anybody who's into comic books, they know somebody comes over and sees all those books on your shelf initially, they're like, wow, what a well read, man. If you walk in and see nothing but the figures, you, you know what's up, you know what time it is. Yeah, Like, I can convince someone that like some of these comic books have like historical, you know, value. Like, like they're, they're whole graphic novel literature. Yes, yes. There's, there's graphic novels of like whole historical movements and stuff. But the figures.
- [16:41]
David Angelo
Yeah, it's like that's a My Little Pony first edition.
- [16:45]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And no matter how much money it's worth, it's not enough to make up for what people think as soon as they see it.
- [16:54]
David Angelo
Right. No, I agree, I agree. I keep mine all out of the case. I'm getting to wrap it up because they don't. They don't. I think this isn't exactly biting news commentary.
- [17:05]
Josh Johnson
No, no, this isn't the hard hitting stuff.
- [17:07]
David Angelo
Yeah. I mean, nothing else really happened, Zoran. These are just small stories no one probably has any interest in online.
- [17:16]
Josh Johnson
Yeah. Where were you when Zora. I want.
- [17:19]
David Angelo
I was in Connecticut checking out real estate.
- [17:24]
Josh Johnson
Wow. Wow.
- [17:25]
David Angelo
No, I'm kidding. I'm kidding, guys. Don't write in. Don't write in, don't write in.
- [17:31]
Josh Johnson
Do you think people will move do you think that the threat of the moving is real?
- [17:36]
David Angelo
I don't know. I think you. It's hard because if you have a. I think people just move eventually anyway. It's very hard to just stay in New York through your 40s.
- [17:48]
Josh Johnson
Sure, sure. I will even say this. I think that when someone says, like, I'm gonna move if this person wins. If this. If this party wins, whatever. To your point, yes. It's like you were probably gonna move at some point anyway. But I find it's a lot like when you get fired from a job. Right. As you start to lose interest in doing that job anyway.
- [18:09]
David Angelo
Exactly.
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Josh Johnson
It's like. It's like these two things found each other. It's not like, oh, this new manager is gonna fire me. It's like, no, I. I stopped enjoying entering the data right around the time this new person got hired anyway. And they. They happen to notice. I don't like in entering data. And this is a data entry. You know.
- [18:31]
David Angelo
I did that job once. Data entry.
- [18:34]
Josh Johnson
Yeah.
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David Angelo
I couldn't believe it. I was like, there has to be. Because you're sitting at a computer and, like, surely the computer can do this.
- [18:40]
Josh Johnson
I mean, data entry was the first one where I was like, oh, yeah, AI. AI.
- [18:47]
David Angelo
It's ridiculous.
- [18:48]
Josh Johnson
Like, that was. I don't know anyone who did data entry that was like, I can't believe AI took my job.
- [18:55]
David Angelo
Yeah. I can't believe AI wasn't doing this in the first place. Even AI must be like, jesus, can we get a human to do this? What are we doing here? What was I asking? Oh, did you have material on that that you're going out with already or. How you doing?
- [19:10]
Josh Johnson
No, I already did it.
- [19:11]
David Angelo
Yeah, you did it. You're so ahead of the curve.
- [19:14]
Josh Johnson
I try. I mean, it's just. To me, it's like the funniest things that happen were things either during debates or there were moments where it was like, it just. Yeah. It's just so rare, you. That you see someone hate someone with a smile. Like, the way he would, like, smile after saying something about Cuomo was like, Cuomo genuinely caught it from all angles. Because even. Even. Even Sliwa was over here serving Cuomo hard.
- [19:42]
David Angelo
Couldn't stand him. Yeah.
- [19:44]
Josh Johnson
Crazy. Hated this dude.
- [19:45]
David Angelo
Hated him.
- [19:47]
Josh Johnson
Hated him. Hated his guts. Hated him so much. And then Mamdani on the other side, you know, and then he would say. He would say, like, so. So Mamdani would be making what I think is, like, at least a salient point. Like, I think a lot of People go for everything that he was campaigning on because they're like, okay, this thing, even. Even if it doesn't fully affect me. I can see how this thing would bring costs down for everybody, which would make maybe, who knows, everybody a little bit more pleasant. Even if that's your whole political analysis of his entire campaign, I think that it's a little bit. It's a little bit more optimistic and a little better than the sort of cynical view, because I think that. I think that when you are actually having financial struggle, cynicism is just not gonna win you any friends. And so. So for everything that Zoran said he would do, you know what? Cuomo would be out here being like, you can't get that done. And so I think that only hurts you.
- [21:00]
David Angelo
Yeah. Cuomo is kind of a negative force. And he also. I don't. Don't you get, like, Al Pacino energy out of him?
- [21:07]
Josh Johnson
I don't.
- [21:07]
David Angelo
I can't watch him and not think it's like Scent of a Woman or something. He's like, zoran wants to take away all the stores. Is that Pacino? I don't know.
- [21:18]
Josh Johnson
I mean, I don't know if that was fully Pacino, but I do get what you mean. I do get. I do get. I do get the vibe you're putting out because that. You're not wrong. It's like, I don't know. Just imagine somebody wants your vote, and all they have to say is, don't vote for the other guy. Not even because I have better ideas.
- [21:44]
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- [22:13]
David Angelo
What else happened? We had FIFA with a Peace Prize. Did you see that? FIFA, the Soccer Org, they were like, we're gonna do a Peace Prize for Trump. I don't know if you saw this story.
- [22:28]
Josh Johnson
No, no. I was not paying attention to this. I feel like, here's my thing about the Peace Prize thing. I feel like if you want to give him a consolation one, that's fine, but he wants the Nobel and everything. Every presidency perfectly runs up against the time for the Nobel. When you think about it, he doesn't get it. Because it's like when people want a Grammy but release the album too late or early.
- [23:01]
David Angelo
Oh, yeah. In the season. Yeah. You got to be close. So when they remember come voting time.
- [23:06]
Josh Johnson
But then he was too close. Because you saw with the ceasefire, that was like, the next day they announced the winner, so they didn't already pick the winner.
- [23:13]
David Angelo
I know. They had the ballots out already.
- [23:15]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, yeah. There's nothing you could do at that point. That's like dropping a really, really great show right before the Emmys.
- [23:22]
David Angelo
Right. Because then next year, that Middle east thing, they'll be like, ugh, that's old news. So he's not gonna get next year for that. That's too bad.
- [23:33]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, it's tough.
- [23:34]
David Angelo
I mean, there was tariffs that are going before the Supreme Court. Do you remember tariffs?
- [23:38]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, yeah, I remember tariffs. It's funny, I have friends who are just now finally buying something that they have to pay a tariff for.
- [23:47]
David Angelo
Oh, that must hurt.
- [23:49]
Josh Johnson
Like, it. But, like, double the price. Like when he said 100% tariffs, like, there was some. There was something. I don't know if my. My buddy bought a candle. He bought. He bought something.
- [24:00]
David Angelo
A candle. Come on. Yeah, he can buy an American made candle. Josh.
- [24:04]
Josh Johnson
It was. I don't know what it was. I don't know what it was, but a candle.
- [24:07]
David Angelo
I like the friends you have that are complaining about their candle prices.
- [24:11]
Josh Johnson
Sure, sure.
- [24:13]
David Angelo
But then it's like, I'm burning money here.
- [24:16]
Josh Johnson
42 bucks was the tax.
- [24:19]
David Angelo
Whoa.
- [24:19]
Josh Johnson
For a thing that's not heavy. Yeah, I mean, like, I understand. Look, hey, if you want to get your deer stand from Mexico and it ends up being like, extra hundred bucks or something like that. It's very nice deer stand, whatever. But this is like a small item. And $42 at the border, like, $42 until they coughed up the money. And that is. That's. That's wild. So I think that, you know, I'd be really. I'm genuinely asking this. I'm interested in your thoughts on it, because I think that if the Supreme Court kind of calls or creates some sort of stop to his tariffing power, which. Which I think some of that's supposed to go through Congress anyway. Like, I don't think you can just tariff the hell out of the entire world and threaten corporations with tariffs as, like, a president. But anyway, I think if that happens, that would actually be really good for the market and for people. Because I think that Trump is in a position now with the shutdown, with tariffs, with most of his agenda, that anything that is, like, clearly not working or is bad or weakens the dollar too much or hurts America. On the world stage, he is a little, you know, he's a little bit more than a little bit too proud to just back down and not do it, especially after they were calling him Taco.
- [25:43]
David Angelo
So it's like Trump always chickens out.
- [25:48]
Josh Johnson
And I think that that would be the thing that he needed to roll them back, because then he could say, see, I can't even do my agenda because Supreme Court's now on my side, when really he's probably like, oh, thank God I can finally take this thing off of Canada, because I basically torched a lot of our trade talks.
- [26:08]
David Angelo
Yeah, that's true. What's interesting is he seems to be getting a lot of, like, he'll propose something, then he'll say he wasn't really doing it. And meanwhile, the market is going up and down every day. He'll be like, I'm going to do this. And then it goes up. Oh, no, I'm gonna do. I really mean this. And then it goes down. No, I will do this. And it's a little like, geez, take it easy. Like, can you. Why don't you sit alone in a room for a little bit? And then you come back out with one plan. Yeah. Like, it changes every day.
- [26:40]
Josh Johnson
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I don't, like, even. Even with the shutdown, man, I think that the best possible thing that could happen is. And I don't even know how this would happen, but is a way for the leverage the Dems have to be exercised so completely that then when the Republicans come back to the table, it can look like it's outside of Trump's purview. And I don't know how you would square that. I really don't know how that would come to be. But, you know, this is a guy who's like, art of the deal is be crazy first. Like. Like, be so crazy that people are like, well, we just want any deal with you because you're clearly crazy. And that is where we're at right now. But, like, I'm telling you, man, like, a few. A few planes, like, crashing from. From, like, lack of air traffic control or lack of attention to landing times and space and everything like that. And it's like every bad thing that happens is laid at the feet of the party in power. So I just. Yeah, I don't know where you go from here, man.
- [27:54]
David Angelo
Yeah, they're shutting some of the airport capacity because of the shutdown, so they're Limiting flights in certain airports. I don't know. I mean, you travel a lot. You're out now flying. I think I've noticed. I've noticed about customer service in general. It has just gone through. It is cratered. It's gotten so much worse in the last four years, but flying has also gotten so much worse. Don't you feel like that, or you don't notice the change?
- [28:23]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, I mean, I try to keep a generally decent disposition, which I think helps most situations. Like, even when a gate agent, like, really wants to curse me out, I think the fact that I'm not angry, it, like, diffuses it a little bit. And also, like a gate agent. Well, if you. It's possible to cozy up to a gate agent and find out some information you're not even supposed to know.
- [28:45]
David Angelo
They do have power.
- [28:47]
Josh Johnson
They have a lot of power. There was one time I was talking to this gate agent, and she was. I was about to start, like, talking to her again because I had already been over there before, and sometimes when you go up the second or third time, you're annoying. But, like, with me, I was like. We had had a little bit of a rapport, and we had joked a little bit. So then she. I'm walking up as she's giving the announcement. Like, we're hearing from the. I think she said, we're hearing from the flight deck. 10 more minutes. Just 10 more minutes. And then when I walk up there, as soon as she takes her, like, finger off the intercom thing, she looks at me and she's like. And I was like, yeah, fair enough. Like, I think that she gave me.
- [29:31]
David Angelo
The head start to get to the Delta counter and get another flight.
- [29:34]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, yeah. Because when I tell you that I think gate agents are such a perfect. They're a perfect metaphor for, like, the structures we've set up, because they're literally this. This is how it works. So the person who made your flight miserable will never be there. They'll never be at the airport. They don't even fly that airline. They fly private. Right. But they make decisions that ruin your day, slash, experience, whatever. And then they also are a person who, like, will make a mandate that makes the company worse and not have to answer for it. But who they send. The only person that can help you is also the only person you could possibly yell at that works here because, like, custodians, they work at the airport. There's no, like, Delta custodian.
- [30:21]
David Angelo
Yeah.
- [30:21]
Josh Johnson
I mean, and so it's, like, the only person that you could be like, wait, why would you sell me flight insurance if you're not going to insure my flight? Like, that person is also the only person that can make sure that you get to Cincinnati. And so. So what they've done is they've bottlenecked the. The expression of. Of, like, anger at the design, the. The design of the corporation. So, for instance, like, when you go to customer service and when you go to a gate agent, I didn't even realize this. This is insane. So you know how if it's like an act of God, they don't have to give you a hotel room or a meal ticket or any of that stuff?
- [31:00]
David Angelo
That's right.
- [31:01]
Josh Johnson
Okay. They will. Sometimes the pilot will literally tell you the truth, right? The pilot will be like, hey, sorry, this, like, thing that's supposed to go next to my foot is broken. I think somebody broke it in Miami and then flew here with it broken. So we gotta get it fixed. Like, literally will tell you how mechanical and how avoidable the problem is. Be communicating that with you on the plane the entire time. But then when you get off, the person who should be handing you, you know, whatever meal voucher or whatever thing to a hotel is like, oh, actually, right here it says it's because of the storm, right? And there's no way to fight that. And that is like. And that is crazy. And so whenever I see people snap at an airport, I'm not saying you're allowed to treat anybody bad. I'm not saying you're allowed to talk to anybody kind of way, but, like, when I see somebody just snap, as in, like, just lose their personal mind, I'm always like, yeah, I kind of get that.
- [31:59]
David Angelo
I know. I feel like I identify the most with those people. Sometimes I don't snap, but when I see someone else who's like, what the fuck? And then smashing like a flat screen, I'm like, now that. That I understand. I do understand what he's going through.
- [32:15]
Josh Johnson
It's like, as soon as you. Here's my thing. I think you are allowed to freak out as much as you want or should be, as long as you take five steps back from the gate agent's desk. Like, if you. If you. If you had already backed up to be like, hey, I'm a need a little room, y'. All. Like, I think. I think being insane and losing your mind should get the same courtesy as someone who's about to do the worm. You know, when you on the dance floor as somebody about to do the worm, they tell you, make room, make A little room. Make a little room, because I will be on that floor.
- [32:47]
David Angelo
They should have a circle at the desk. There should be a flat screen already broken that you're allowed to hit. You know, let people get into it. I know exactly what you're saying. I always like the expression an act of God as the excuse.
- [33:05]
Josh Johnson
Yeah.
- [33:05]
David Angelo
Because then you get those fundamentalist Christians and it's like, yeah, the landing gear is broken. That's an act of God.
- [33:12]
Josh Johnson
Yeah.
- [33:13]
David Angelo
You know, everything's an act of good. All right, well, that was what we missed. And that was some great content. A lot of clippable stuff there, I hope. Yeah, that's the plan.
- [33:26]
Josh Johnson
Fingers crossed.
- [33:27]
David Angelo
Oh, absolutely. I mean, this is. We're doing numbers on this pod today. Josh.
- [33:34]
Josh Johnson
It'S okay not to be perfect with finances.
- [33:37]
Ad Host
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- [33:42]
Josh Johnson
With credit cards on the app?
- [33:43]
Ad Host
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- [33:46]
David Angelo
Which means if you're not approved, they won't hurt your credit scores.
- [33:50]
Josh Johnson
Download the Experian app for free today.
- [33:53]
Ad Host
Applying for no Ding decline cards won't.
- [33:55]
David Angelo
Hurt your credit scores. If you aren't initially approved, initial approval.
- [33:58]
Ad Host
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- [34:01]
David Angelo
Experian. Now, we don't know what's gonna happen this week because, you know, we're not there. We haven't learned there yet. Yeah, you know, it's hard to really predict anything.
- [34:11]
Josh Johnson
What.
- [34:11]
David Angelo
Is there anything you'd like to happen?
- [34:13]
Josh Johnson
I mean, it would be crazy. I say this every time before I host, but it would be crazy if those, like, Epstein files dropped in the way that people have. The way that people have designed them in their mind. Because this is the other thing that you got to remember is that the actual, like, Epstein files, the way that you would watch a spy movie, don't exist. That way, people's involvement could be uncovered with Epstein and going to his island and stuff like that. But, like, the logs are already out. Like, there's so many things that are already out. But I think that if you had some explosive, like, clear cut reporting, that would be huge. But I just don't know if that's gonna happen because, like, all of the things that are clear cut are still kind of murky in a way.
- [35:03]
David Angelo
Yeah. And I don't know what people expect. It's not like the accounting's gonna be great on Child Sex island, you know, it's not like, okay, now which one of you had sex with Maryanne here? Show of hands, which CEOs. Which one of you? Let's get this.
- [35:18]
Josh Johnson
I would love to see. Was it Prince Andrew get like a regular job. Like, I would love to see him just be weird at like a Hungry Jacks. I think that's what they call them in Europe. I don't know if they're all Burger.
- [35:32]
David Angelo
Kings going to a Tesco. There's Prince Andrew ringing you up.
- [35:36]
Josh Johnson
Yeah. Yeah. And really?
- [35:39]
David Angelo
And.
- [35:40]
Josh Johnson
And looks every bit as miserable as he should be working a job when he knows he botched one of the easiest jobs in the world. All you gotta do is be you and not do a crime.
- [35:55]
David Angelo
Literally. Just don't have sex with children.
- [35:58]
Josh Johnson
All you gotta do.
- [36:00]
David Angelo
The bar is that low.
- [36:01]
Josh Johnson
The bar is so low because the bar is your blood. The bar is literally you were born into a royal family. All you gotta do is not do a crime and you will be fine.
- [36:12]
David Angelo
You can do a lot of crimes. You can still do a lot.
- [36:15]
Josh Johnson
You could still do a lot. But I think it's best to err on the side of no crime. I'm just saying if you.
- [36:21]
David Angelo
I mean the queen did run the international drug trade, but we'll get that on another episode.
- [36:26]
Josh Johnson
I mean, if you break me off. I've never heard that. But it is funny because of how old she got.
- [36:32]
David Angelo
Right?
- [36:33]
Josh Johnson
Like that, like that does make it kind of like more funny to believe that she was some sort of Griselda.
- [36:40]
David Angelo
I mean she was in the mix for so long from like the 1930s until like three years ago. Yeah, a lot of people don't have a run like that.
- [36:49]
Josh Johnson
No, no.
- [36:52]
David Angelo
Prince Andrew at a normal job that would be. Or they should have made him be one of the guards out front with the hat.
- [37:00]
Josh Johnson
I think he would get like. I think he would get too frazzled.
- [37:04]
David Angelo
Yeah, that'd be the fun. Because they're always trying to get him to laugh and stuff. And then Taurus could get. They'd be like, aha. Prince Andrew. I know how to get him to laugh. Susie, go six year old daughter, come on over here. Smile at Prince Andrew. Okay, so that was potentially. That's your ideal show this week. Would be some Epstein file juice coming out. And I agree with you. I think that would really be. It'd be a fun time and a fun change of pace and hopefully we can get some. We gotta take down these big shots. The other thing we gotta do here on the pre cap is a little segment we called Daily show and Tell. Okay, now what this is is when you, you know, we talk something that's not politics. Now, in this episode particularly, I don't think we've even dipped a toe into politics. So it's a little bit different. But for the clip, this is the non politics stuff that might have been on your mind lately. For instance, have you read a good book or watched a movie or et cetera? You know, just some light hearted fare for the Josh Johnson fans out there.
- [38:29]
Josh Johnson
This is not light hearted, but I did read a comic book. I read a graphic novel that was set in this, you know, sort of whatever, imaginary town, but it was two serial killers in the same town and they meet and it's. Yeah, it was interesting. It was like they were both like, oh, are you like me? Are you different? And I thought that it was an interesting read, even though it was very dark.
- [39:04]
David Angelo
Do you have a title? Do you want to plug it?
- [39:07]
Josh Johnson
I actually won't plug it. I think I'll plug some more. Brubaker. Reckless is a phenomenal series. So is Criminal and Killer Be Killed. They're all very, very good.
- [39:18]
David Angelo
You hear that, Mr. Brubaker? We need the original artwork set to Josh Johnson here at the Daily Show. We're plugging. No, she should send it for free. We've just done a plug on the Daily show pre cap, which is one of the biggest podcasts in America right now.
- [39:36]
Josh Johnson
I'm worried about free, though. Like, I don't know. I'm always uncomfortable with free.
- [39:41]
David Angelo
I'm not at all. You know what? I'll take it and you can buy it from me. So, Mr. Brubaker, if you're listening. Okay, send me some artwork and I'll sell it to Josh at market prices. Okay. I guess I should. In terms of what I've been watching or reading. I'm reading a lot of children's book, as you know. I have a child, a young. I don't know if it's an infant or a toddler, to be honest.
- [40:06]
Josh Johnson
Oh, when that crossover happens.
- [40:09]
David Angelo
Yeah, I guess he's.
- [40:10]
Josh Johnson
He's toddling.
- [40:12]
David Angelo
I don't know. Is that walk? He crawls. So anyway, I don't know what he is, but he. Yeah, he's in one of those camps. I mean, you know, with the label and I'm reading a lot of kids books and man, these things are. The bar is so low to make a kid's book, Josh. It's like unbelievable, the blue chips. I'm talking the ultimate kids books. Goodnight Moon. You heard of Goodnight Moon?
- [40:42]
Josh Johnson
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, 100%.
- [40:44]
David Angelo
I went into Goodnight Moon thinking this is gonna be. This is Gonna be a good one. This is gonna be a hit. This is one of the worst books. It's almost so nonsensical. You read and you're like, this is like one of. You know, when they did LSD all the time back in the. It almost makes no sense. And out of the gate, she rhymes. The woman who writes it, she goes, good night, moon. Good night, painting of the cow jumping over the moon. So she's. First rhyme is the same word. Yeah. Moon, twice. Of all the options. And then it's downhill from there, and she's just throwing objects. It's like, this is. What's the. That's the classic. That's the gold standard.
- [41:27]
Josh Johnson
Yeah, but it's what the kids love.
- [41:29]
David Angelo
But you know what? They don't know anything. And that's. You know what? Maybe it's good. Maybe it's good to start them on a bad book. Children's literature should be terrible. So then it gets better. Yeah, maybe that's the theory. It's like, look how terrible these books are. The pictures.
- [41:47]
Josh Johnson
I mean, to be fair, these people are just learning to read. So to give them too good of a book would be to waste a story.
- [41:56]
David Angelo
Yeah, you're right. I don't know. You know, I want to apologize to the estate of whoever wrote Goodnight Moon. Send me a free copy. I'll give it to Josh. Anything else? We got to close it up, Josh. You know, it's. These things got to be tight. And, you know, I'm sure that after heavy editing, we'll get there. But, you know, I don't know if you have any final words. If you have. If you want to plug your. Why don't you plug you hosting the Daily show this week here on the pre cap. Go ahead and why don't you plug that.
- [42:35]
Josh Johnson
Hey, everybody, I am hosting the show Tuesday through Thursday of this week, so tune in this week like you would any other week. But please, extra, because I'm gonna be hosting. So tune in like you would regularly, but then also watch on your phone later and then maybe throw up that Paramount and watch it there. Just throwing that out there.
- [42:57]
David Angelo
There you have it. Keep streaming. And even better, I'm not gonna be hosting, so you won't see me anymore. So that's another reason to t everyone. And we'll see you next week. Thank you, Josh. Thanks, everyone, for listening.
- [43:09]
Josh Johnson
Thanks so much.
- [43:10]
David Angelo
Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.