← The Daily Show: Ears Edition
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
This Week's News | Jon Stewart on Media's Hantavirus Panic & Klepper on MAGA's Missing Trump Phones
00:43:11
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- [00:01]
A
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B
But first, I want to check in on the President. You know his approval rating is currently lower than really ever. I think it's really, it's not, it's not good, really. Thanks to a combination of inflation and He's a dick and the war in Iran, the ongoing energy crisis in his own body. Weekend Adanis but as is always the case with Donald Trump, his MAGA base remains unfazed.
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Now this week saw the formal dedication of a 22 foot gold statue of
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Trump at his Miami golf course by
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none other than evangelical pastor Mark Burns. Pastor Burns must have known that he might take some criticism for praying over a literal golden idol because he wrote on social media, quote, let me be clear, this is not a golden calf.
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C
No,
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B
it is not. But if I may say, it is a full grown cow. That is a golden cow with a gold load in its But I don't want to suggest this is actually a case of false idolatry. If it was, God would probably be punishing us the same way he did in the Bible with a plague. And I mean that's not happening.
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D
Breaking tonight, the deadly outbreak of a rare rodent virus on board a cruise ship.
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The race to contain a suspected deadly virus outbreak.
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The public health threat so dangerous, nightmare at sea.
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B
Cruise chaos.
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D
A cruise from hell. What? What?
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B
Another pandemic? Are we gonna have to start washing our hands again or freaking the out in a target?
- [03:54]
D
Target. I'm not playing any more fucking games. This shit's over. This shit's all over. This shit's f Ck it over.
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B
Good times. Although I have to say, on the plus side, I can't believe I still fit into my old Hazmat suit. Hey, quick question here though. Are we all gonna die?
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A
It's not like Covid. It's not like measles. It's not a very efficient transmission.
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D
The overall risk to the public is low.
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B
You don't need to be hysterical about it. I know. We don't have to be hysterical about it. It's a choice. But you know what? It's a relief. I'm glad we don't have to be hysterical about it. Covid was a respiratory virus. Passes easily, often when the person isn't symptomatic. It was a brand new virus we had ever seen before. And we weren't allowed to know where it came from. I mean, we didn't know. We were obviously allowed to know. We just didn't know.
- [05:22]
A
Wink.
- [05:26]
B
While the hantavirus is a known virus, it's difficult to transmit. It's mostly spread by rat infestation. Which does raise the question, how did a cruise ship end up with hantavirus on it? A husband and wife who were the
- [05:41]
A
first to be stricken with the so called rat virus reportedly went bird watching at a rat infested landfill when their cruise ship was docked at a remote city in Argentina.
- [06:01]
B
I have some questions. Just gonna walk down the list. A, what cruise line offers day trip landfill excursions? B, what bird watcher wants to go to a landfill and spend the whole day going seagull, Seagull, seago. Oh, used condom. Cerulean warbler. No, that's used condom. Sorry. Seagull vulture. Seagull condom. Vulture eating seagull eating condom. But in bird watching lingo, that's known as a vulgoldom. A lot of people serve that on the holidays. The point is, some people may get pretty sick. But forget Covid. This ain't no pandemic hell, this hantavirus. And not even in monkeypox territory. But I guess reality don't sell papers. So, boys, we learned that everything was okay on Tuesday. What Are we doing Wednesday through Friday?
- [07:38]
D
The WHO has been vocal in saying this is not another pandemic or epidemic situation. Can they be so sure? Should people be worried?
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C
Is this another pandemic?
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D
Could the hantavirus mutate?
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A
People have a right to be nervous.
- [07:51]
B
You gotta fight for your right to be nervous. Yes, we might have a right to be nervous, but I guess the question the news might want to ask is, do we have a reason? And your assignment news, should you choose to accept it, is to help the public discern the difference. So may we hear from the experts again?
- [08:23]
A
The potential to spread beyond an outbreak is very small, should be pretty limited.
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C
It should keep it contained.
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A
Shouldn't really have any concern at all.
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C
I have no, no concern about that.
- [08:35]
B
I guess it's going to stick this time. I want to make the timeline clear to everybody. Sunday, we found out hantavirus had been on a cruise ship. Monday through Thursday, expert upon expert, scientist upon scientist very transparently explained why this illness, while a serious illness, is a low level public. Their words went a long way to easing the concerns of a curious public. And Lord knows the news can't let that happen. So on Friday, after three days of reinsurance, I give you Nightline.
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A
A dream vacation turning into a floating nightmare. Authorities are now working to stop the spread and track down passengers who've already left the ship, including to the us the looming question, could this become the next pandemic?
- [09:37]
B
God damn it, they got me again. I can't breathe in there. I was panicking. They got me again. And by the way, did you check out the percussion on that? Could this be the next pandemic? The question of whether it was going to be the next pandemic had been asked and answered for three days. But apparently that was before the authorities decided not to fire a torpedo and sink the cruise ship, burying its diseased passengers and cruise entertainers in a watery grave befitting their disease. That's right, folks. These people from this ship were going to be allowed to disembark.
- [10:40]
A
The deadly hantavirus is no longer contained to that cruise ship. It is now literally flying around the world. Why'd they let them off the boat? Releasing them off the boat just creates new problems.
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D
Why did they get off the boat and then come back to America? How long people on the ship should be isolated before being allowed to leave and then like, walk among us?
- [11:08]
B
Look, I don't think any of us are crazy about the idea of people who take cruises walking amongst us. I just don't think it's And I respect that. But they're still people. They're just people who wanted to travel the world on a floating shopping mall. They can throw their fiance off, look it up. Trust me, it's got a higher body count than the hantavirus. Trust me. Look, I could be convinced to be on Team Sink em all. But again, let's listen to the experts that the news people themselves have vetted to answer these questions responsibly.
- [12:05]
D
Dr. Rasmussen, do you have any concerns about the process of the passengers returning to their home countries? So I don't actually have any concerns about this process from a scientific perspective because I actually think that the process itself is completely suitable for this virus.
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B
Oh, suitable for the virus, but not suitable apparently for this news cycle. The news experts say stay calm, but the news media says no, I believe we prefer panic.
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D
Right now we're in the port where the ship won't even be allowed to dock. You can have a look at what this looks like.
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That is the MV Hondius.
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D
Those are the Americans finally on board that evacuation boat. You can see there's a small group of them being ferried back and forth,
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helping ferry passengers off the ship and onto some smaller boats to off of
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D
the ship on these little boats that bring them here through a tent. Within minutes they are on a bus headed straight for the airport. You're looking at a portion of a bus that looks similar to the ones that people have gotten onto.
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B
You're literally showing us a bus they're not on. You're just cutting to showing us what a bus looks like. Yes, Jim. The passengers are getting on and I'm being told that the wheels on this bus go round and round and we're about to get on a bus where the wheels go round and round, Jim. I see. And can you ask, will that be all through the town? I believe it will, Jim. I believe they will be going all through the town on the bus. They were treating it like the O.J. chase. It was. That's the logistics of how you get from a boat to the shore. But don't worry, the news media's high level technology gets us access we never could have gotten before.
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D
These images just coming in, those Americans getting on buses and waving before boarding their flights. Drone video from Spanish authorities capturing the first passengers leaving.
- [14:05]
B
Drone video Spectacular. Such good use of drones. Ukraine uses theirs to defeat Russia. But good on you. I still have not learned enough. I mean, I know they've gone from a boat to a smaller boat to a tent to a bus, but at this point, I've somewhat lost the trail. Where will it end? Where will these who are supposedly to walk amongst us end up? Perhaps in a room. If so, what does the room look like? Is it furnished? If it has a bike, will that bike be stationary?
- [14:49]
D
Each person will have their own room, equipped with special ventilation systems, private bathrooms, exercise equipment, and WI fi.
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B
Private bathrooms, exercise equipment, WI fi. Oh, maybe we should all get the hantavirus. It's actually not that luxurious. Only one of them will be given the password, Which I believe is lowercase hantavirus. But the. And the S is a dollar bill.
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C
Yo.
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B
Look, we are now eight days into this non pandemic and it's beginning to affect our Mother's Day coverage segues.
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A
It's a very happy Mother's Day to all you moms out there this morning. That cruise ship hit by a deadly hantavirus.
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C
The state of our union is calling our mom.
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A
This morning, 17 are beginning a trip back to the U.S. happy Mother's Day to all the moms watching.
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C
Let's kick this off.
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A
Pandemic panic.
- [16:07]
B
Happy Mother's Day. Happy Mother's Day. Tell your mom you love her, but also keep your eyes on her because you don't know if she's got it or not. And I gotta tell you this, if she turns, you know what you have to do. No tears, boy. No tears. She's not your mother anymore. She's more haunter than woman. No matter how many times the question can be asked and answered, it doesn't matter for some people, and sometimes it's the same person.
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D
Does this have the markings of the next pandemic or no? No. Should we still not be sounding the alarm?
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A
I don't think we have to be very anxious about it.
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D
Should we be worried that we have an American here who's tested positive?
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C
No.
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D
It's low risk to Americans. Should we still not be worried?
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A
Correct. I don't think that this poses any risk to the general public.
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B
Jesus, lady, how badly do you just want to work from home? Just work from home. We're not all going to die. That's a good thing. Just. Just zoom in. Jesus. Although it is important to note this virus can cause chronic fatigue syndrome, mostly amongst the experts who have to repeatedly answer the same questions.
- [17:50]
A
What is your message to Americans who are still scared?
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C
We have been repeating the same answer many times.
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This is not another Covid. And the risk to the public is
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low, so they shouldn't be scared and
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they shouldn't panic,
- [18:15]
B
you idiot. Well, that certainly should Put an end to it. Unless.
- [18:26]
A
So they shouldn't be scared and they shouldn't panic. And there is concern out there that more positive cases could pop up.
- [18:36]
B
So when they say you shouldn't be scared, you hear be scared. It's like they're all trying to recapture that pandemic. Ratings magic. Remember the old big screen body counts? All the ways they scared us? Well, the counts are back. Obviously not as compelling.
- [18:56]
D
There's one person who tested positive. A separate person showed symptoms. But we don't have a positive test result for that person.
- [19:08]
B
One. One. One positive and one runny nose. What? Damn. This thing is spreading like. I don't know what's something that doesn't spread? Cold butter. The legs of a pr. I could do this all day. So it's fine. It's not a thing. Go about your lives. Go on a cruise if you want. Meanwhile, a norovirus outbreak on board a different cruise ship.
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A
102 passengers, 13 crew members are sick. On the Caribbean Princess.
- [19:52]
B
No.
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A
Now at McDonald's, a McDouble is $2.50. So you can get your gym gains on or just get lunch for only $2.50. Get more value on the under $3 menu.
- [20:05]
C
Limited time only.
- [20:05]
B
Prices and participation may vary. Prices may be higher for delivery. Zootopia 2 has come home to Disney. Let's go get ready for a new case.
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D
We're gonna crack this case and prove we're victorious partners of all time.
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C
New friends.
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D
You are Gary the Snake.
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C
And your last name.
- [20:23]
B
The Snake Dream team hid new habitats.
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D
Zootopia has a secret reptile population.
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A
You can watch the record breaking phenomenon at home. You're clearly working at Zootopia 2. Now available on Disney. Rated PG.
- [20:43]
C
Yesterday, Trump hosted an event on maternal health care, which is a high priority for the White House. Because what is a woman's birth canal if not a strait of Hormuz that our government must take control of Now. The focus of the event was America's lower birth rates. So of course Trump invited RFK junior Health secretary and guy whose iPhone screen is always greasy. So Let me ask RFK Jr why are birth rates down? And please remember, when you answer, don't make this weird for men.
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In 1970, men had twice the sperm count as women.
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C
Our teenagers do today. I'm sorry, did he just do a. Back in my day for sperm, back when I was a teen, we had twice the jism. Our spunk knew how to drive a stick. You know they don't make man butter like that anymore. Now he didn't explain how he knows that, but knowing rfk, I'm sure he personally went down to the sperm bank and sampled them like gelato flavors, you know? Can I get it with sprinkles, please? Okay. But it's interesting that he mentioned teenage sperm in particular, because when you look at the lower birth rates, that's mostly driven by fewer teen births, by which I mean teenagers giving birth and not moms giving birth to teenagers, you know? Aw, congratulations. It's a Mr. Beast fan. I'm just confused why the government is apparently trying to reboot 16 and pregnant. But, Dr. Oz, maybe you have a good reason. And again, you know what? I'll remind you. Just please, please don't make it weird.
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B
Go ahead. So let me speak a little bit
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about the reality that one in three Americans are under babied.
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C
I said don't make it weird. Under babied? What does that even mean? Are we shocked no one wants to have babies anymore? I mean, nothing makes the ladies want a raw dog. It like hearing RFK Jr talking about what the jizz was like at Woodstock. Let's focus up. This is an event about women. Let's actually hear some of the women speak while we all pay really, really, really close attention.
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D
In the Perinatal Improvement Collaborative Hospitals, we have reduced maternal mortality by 41.5%, which is truly incredible. And this is compared with the 5.9% decline in benchmark hospitals.
- [23:31]
C
Don't judge. This man is exhausted from working the graveyard shift at his second job posting insane AI slop all night. It's important, thankless work. So yet another Oval Office meeting where Trump was, as Dr. Oz would call it, under conscious. I'd like to see the White House somehow spin their way out of this one.
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A
Now, a Reuters reporter posted a picture of President Trump with his eyes closed, significantly.
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And the White House responded.
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He was blinking, you absolute moron.
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C
Look, you know what? I can relate. I got a solid 8 hours of blink last night. I mean, come on, don't you hate when you're blinking and you have to get up and go pee? You have to try and get back to blink? You know, it's a nightmare. You know what? I think I see what's going on here. Trump and Kash Patel have split up blinking duties. No. Yeah, this is. Yes, one keeps them shut and one keeps them fully open. It's government efficiency at work. But look, let's not get carried away here. Yes, Trump is falling asleep in the middle of meetings, but he's not as bad as Joe Biden okay, remember Sleepy Joe? He was snoozing while inflation just skyrocketed. This is completely different.
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D
Today, new inflation numbers at the highest level in nearly three years, up 3.8% from a year ago.
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C
Well, well, well. Looks like the sleepy Joe er has become the sleepy Joe E. But okay, all right. Inflation is soaring, which means gas prices are going up, transportation costs are exploding, and our most cherished airlines are up in heaven now charging the angels for water. Now, you know what? Normally I'd be worried, but thank God we have Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy, who I'm sure is laser focused on fixing it.
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D
Transportation Secretary Sean Duffy is starring in a new reality show encouraging people to hit the road.
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A
And his wife, Rachel Campos Duffy of Fox News met on MTV's Road Rules All Stars. And they and their nine children are channeling that past in this five part YouTube series.
- [25:57]
C
Wow. First off, nine kids. I guess we know someone who's not underbabied. Now, you might be upset that your tax dollars were spent on sending Sean Duffy and his entire Wu Tang Clan on an all expenses paid trip around the country. But don't worry, you didn't put the bill. It was the other kind of corruption.
- [26:21]
A
Duffy says no taxpayer dollars were involved, neither he nor his family were paid, and sponsors picked up the production tab. But looking at some of those corporate backers, government watchdogs warn that the Secretary is enjoying a road trip that appears to have been funded by by the very industries his agency oversees.
- [26:43]
C
Wow. I mean, Boeing just can't help being part of a disaster. Look, if you're furious about a cabinet member being paid by companies he regulates to take a road trip in the middle of a gas crisis caused by his administration, if that really makes you want to scream, please don't, because the President is blinking right now.
- [27:08]
D
Eczema is unpredictable, but you can flare less with epglis, a once monthly treatment for moderate to severe eczema. After an initial four month or longer dosing phase, about four in ten people taking ebglis achieved itch relief and clear or almost clear skin at 16 weeks. And most of those people maintain skin that's still more clear at one year with monthly dosing.
- [27:27]
A
Hemplis Lebricizumab LBKZ, a 250 milligram per 2 milliliter injection is a prescription medicine used to treat adults and children 12 years of age and older who will at least 88 pounds or 40 kilograms with moderate to severe eczema, also called atopic dermatitis, that is not well controlled with prescription therapies used on the skin or topicals or who cannot use topical therapies. EBGLIS can be used with or without topical corticosteroids. Don't use if you're allergic to ebglis. Allergic reactions can occur that can be severe. Eye problems can occur. Tell your doctor if you have new or worsening eye problems. You should not receive a live vaccine when treated with Ebglis. Before starting Ebglis, tell your doctor if you have a parasitic infection.
- [28:01]
D
Ask your doctor about ebgliss and visit eglis.lilly.com or call 1-800-LILYRX or or 1-800-545-5979.
- [28:12]
C
President Trump left for a major summit in China yesterday, where he's sure to discuss important topics such as trade deals, the war in Iran, and whether the Chinese can help get his fingers out of that pesky trap. Honestly, this trip could not have come at a better time. Things have not been going great at home and at a press conference. Check just before he left. You can see just how testy he's getting. So what happened is we have a ballroom that's under budget. It's going up right here.
- [28:43]
D
The price has doubled.
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C
I doubled the size of it, you dumb person. Double the size. Cuba, what about you?
- [28:51]
B
You are not a smart person.
- [28:53]
C
Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, Whoa. Calm down, Mr. President. Go to your happy place. Well, not literally. That party's over and your wingman is mia. But metaphorically. The point is, I think both Trump and us could benefit from this time apart. Nothing wrong with a little break. Get some distance. Reset. You know what? You can take your boys with you.
- [29:18]
D
Making the trip with him, several of the nation's top CEOs, including Elon Musk, Tim Cook, and Jensen Huang, the head of Nvidia.
- [29:27]
C
That's your crew. Those are your boys. Not exactly the Rat Pack here, is it? That's the kind of bachelor party that makes a stripper want to get her life back in order. In fact, you can tell that that was not a fun flight by watching Donald Trump walking down the staircase after he landed in Beijing. Look at that. That is a man who spent 19 hours sitting next to. Sure. Yeah. Alright, let's hear Grok do the Borat voice again. Alright. Apartheid South Africa was very nice. Yeah. When do we land? Luckily, China was there to perk him up, though, with a Jennifer Hudson spirit Tuttle of business casual children. That chant translates to ballroom now. Ballroom now. And then, of course, Tim Cook got off the plane and Was like, hey, you kids get back to work, huh? I'm not paying you a nickel an hour to sing.
- [30:34]
A
Get back there.
- [30:36]
C
Anyway, you know what? I'm sure Trump will have a good time. And while he's gone, maybe we can have a little check in back here at home. I'm talking to you, Magabase. Um, hey, hey, MAGA pals. What's up, guys? You know, this is a safe space. Donald's gone. It's just you and me, your old pal, Jordy Klepp. You know, let's rap. Not in an urban way. Don't worry. So, how we feeling? You know, about everything.
- [31:08]
B
Hey, Trump supporter.
- [31:09]
D
Here.
- [31:10]
B
This goes out to Don Jr. And Eric. Where the is my phone?
- [31:17]
C
Well, it's in your hands, sir. That's how you're recording this. But maybe you're talking about the new Trump mobile phone that Don Jr. And Eric are backing. You must have ordered one of them.
- [31:30]
B
I ordered three, no, four gold Trump phones in the summer.
- [31:35]
A
Now we can't get any updates on them.
- [31:40]
C
I stand corrected. It was four phones from the world's top phone makers, Eric and Don Jr. Look, for those of us who don't remember, last June, the Trump Suns introduced the Trump mobile phone, which had one major selling point.
- [32:01]
A
You're going to have phones that are made right here in the United States of America. We're going to be building phones in America. It's about time we bring products back to our great country.
- [32:10]
C
Built for Americans, by Americans, for Americans, by Americans. Sort of like fubu. For people who call the cops on people who wear FUBU. But still, a $500 phone made in America. Say what you want about the Trump brothers, this is an incredible deal. And of course the haters will say that you can't build a phone in America, that the only thing we make here anymore are Nepo babies and look smackers. And that this whole thing was just a scam aimed at anyone gullible enough to fall for it. But 600,000 people ignored the haters and put down a hundred buck deposit because they knew they would be proven right when those phones arrived in August.
- [32:52]
A
August came and went, September came and went. At one point, we were promised a November 13th date.
- [32:58]
C
Okay, fine, not August. Okay, but November's not bad either.
- [33:04]
A
And then November came and went, December came and went, and here we are in May of 2026, and there appears to be no sign of it.
- [33:10]
C
Okay, fine. Not November or December or January. We all know the names of months here. Okay, so it's taking a Long time. But so what? It's worth the wait to finally have a phone that's made in America. Usa. Usa.
- [33:27]
D
The company's website states that the phone, which was originally advertised as being made in America, will now be designed with American values in mind.
- [33:37]
C
USA values in mind. USA values in mind. It's not as chanty as you'd like it to be. Okay, all right, okay. So the phone went from made in America to designed with American values in mind. This reminds me of shopping for my kids fruit snacks. Some are made with real fruit and some are inspired by the idea of a strawberry. All right, fine. It's disappointing that they couldn't make it in America, but hey, the important thing is that you're absolutely still getting a phone.
- [34:18]
D
The company behind Trump Mobile quietly updating its pre order terms and conditions last month to clarify that it, quote, does not guarantee that a device will be produced or made available for purchase.
- [34:29]
C
Holy shit. After people bought the phone, they changed the terms and conditions to say there might never be a phone that feels less like a terms and conditions and more like a Gotcha bitch. No wonder the MAGA base is so upset. I mean, I'd be furious, too. And the Trump sons must have heard the cries from inside the F150 because suddenly the Trump phone is about to come out.
- [34:55]
D
Some of President Trump's mobile phones should be shipped out this week. That's according to Trump Mobile CEO Pat o'. Brien.
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C
This week. Where on earth are they going to find 600,000 phones to ship? Oh, okay, okay. That's why they brought all those people to China with them. Now I get it. He comes down quick. Everyone grab all the phones as you can. I would do it myself, but this thing is more complicated than I thought. Grab it. How do I do it? How do I do it? Look, I don't know if these phones are actually being shipped soon or ever, but there is a way to describe the kind of person who put down $100 for a phone made by Eric Trump. But I don't really want to say it, you dumb person. Okay, he said it, not me.
- [35:51]
A
Did you know if your windows are bare, indoor temperatures can go up 20 degrees. Get ahead of summer with custom window treatments like solar roller shades from blinds.com and save up to 45% off during the Memorial Day early access sale. Whether you want to DIY it or have a pro handle everything, we've got you free samples, real design experts, and zero pressure. Just help when you need it. Shop up to 45% off site wide Right now, during the Early Access Memorial day sale@blinds.com rules and restrictions apply.
- [36:24]
C
President Trump is in China right now, and the whole US News media has gone along with him. Which means we at home are getting a rare look at some of China's cultural wonders.
- [36:35]
A
This is the Family Mart convenience store in Beijing. Inside is a Galba robot. The dominance of AI. Beijing is trying to lead the way
- [36:44]
B
in AI and also in humanoid robots.
- [36:48]
A
Gwen side is the first of its kind for this kind of interaction. If you want to order something.
- [36:55]
B
Hello, can I get a sausage, please?
- [37:07]
C
A sausage? You went to China, home of one of the most famed cuisines in the world, and ordered a convenience store sausage? Brad, you're making us look weird in front of our future overlords. Although it could be worse. Usually when someone at Fox News asks someone to grab their sausage, it comes with a $10 million lawsuit. So, by the way, look at that robot just standing there in the back. I love that even in our tech future, there's still one guy at work that does absolutely nothing. But as for the summit itself, Trump's welcome got off to a nice start when he was greeted by children upon children upon children. But then things took a turn for the worse when Trump was confronted by stairs upon stairs upon even more stairs. But after all the greeting and the stair climbing, it was time for the actual summit. A chance for President Xi to explain his position in simple, clear terms. Donald Trump could understand.
- [38:13]
D
President Xi said that he hoped the two countries could avoid the so called Thucydides trap. It's a historic reference about a great power being threatened by the rise of another.
- [38:22]
C
Damn it, Xi, you're going to hit President Trump with a Thucydides trap. Now you're making his brain go up a flight of stairs. Come on. All right, President Trump, don't let this guy history, Mog. You show him you can communicate in equally sophisticated terms.
- [38:41]
B
Chinese restaurants in America today outnumber the five largest fast food chains in the United States all combined. That's a pretty big statement.
- [38:50]
C
Yeah, that's my president putting his understanding of geopolitical politics into fast food terms. He gives a summit speech like a third grader who got assigned China for his geography project. In conclusion, China is a land of contrast. And I brought Panda express for everyone. I gotta say, it appears to be a good sign to see all this bridge building, because I was under the impression that our relationship with China was growing increasingly tense and bitter, especially over Taiwan, which China wants to take back. And we want to keep independent, but I'm sure all the goodwill between Xi and Trump carried over into their closed door meeting about Taiwan.
- [39:34]
D
During a two hour closed door meeting, Xi reportedly delivering a stark warning to Trump on the issue of Taiwan, which China sees as its territory. Xi telling Trump if the issue is handled poorly, the two countries will collide or even clash.
- [39:51]
C
Ho, ho, ho. Tough talk. President Xi, perhaps you've forgotten that you're talking to America, the country that's just about to start kicking Iran's ass any day now. And if you want to step up to us with all this Thucydides crap, then why don't you do sit on Deez Nuts. Now I know Donald Trump's not going to take a tongue lashin like that. Our presidents definitely not gonna walk out of those talks looking like he's in a hostage video.
- [40:20]
A
How are your talks, sir? Wait.
- [40:29]
C
Holy shit. What happened in there? That was like asking Tiger woods how the drive home went. All right, dt, do you wanna expand on that? Maybe. Maybe a defend Taiwan talk about Taiwan. Great place.
- [40:45]
B
Incredible.
- [40:46]
C
China's beautiful. Yeah. Oh, shit. What happened in the meeting that made him really not want to talk about Taiwan? He's out there like, don't you guys want to talk about anything else? Jeffrey Epstein, I got a lot of redactions. I got time. Let's chat. So after day one of this trip, I definitely have way more questions than answers. What did Xi say to Trump behind closed doors? Can our two nations avoid the famous two centipedes trap? How many Chinese restaurants are there in the us? Hell, I don't even know if Bret Baer ever got his sausage.
- [41:20]
A
This is the first of its kind here, and they say there are going to be many different iterations, so there's
- [41:25]
B
a real big back and forth.
- [41:27]
C
He got his sausage.
- [41:29]
B
Yeah.
- [41:34]
C
Yes. And look, it's just a. It's just a loose sausage on a plate. Yum. The robots are like, I know you are going to eat this with your hands, you American pig.
- [41:49]
A
Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus, this has been a Comedy Central podcast.
- [42:11]
C
Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying Big Wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop with Mint. You can get premium wireless for just $15 a month. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying. No judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for
- [42:33]
D
3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com starting a business can seem like a daunting task unless you have a partner like Shopify. They have the tools you need to start and grow your business. From designing a website to marketing to selling and beyond, Shopify can help with everything you need. There's a reason millions of companies like Mattel, Heinz and Allbirds continue to trust and use them. With Shopify on your side, turn your big business idea into Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify. Com specialoff.