Trump Goes “Captain Phillips” on Venezuelan Tanker & MAGA Purges "Woke" Fonts | Lonnie Thompson

Summary

The Daily Show: Ears Edition

Episode: Trump Goes “Captain Phillips” on Venezuelan Tanker & MAGA Purges "Woke" Fonts | Lonnie Thompson
Date: December 12, 2025
Host: Michael Kosta
Guest: Lonnie Thompson, Paleoclimatologist

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Episode Overview

This episode of The Daily Show (Ears Edition) is a sharp, satirical look at two major stories making headlines: the dramatic U.S. seizure of a Venezuelan oil tanker—riffed as a “Captain Phillips” moment by Trump—and the latest “culture war” front: purging "woke" fonts from government documents. The episode also features an in-depth, earnest interview with renowned paleoclimatologist Lonnie Thompson about his life’s work studying climate change through ice cores, as highlighted in the documentary “Canary.”

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Key Discussion Points & Segments

1. Venezuela Oil Tanker Seizure & Trump’s Braggadocio (01:29-05:34)

• Escalation off the Coast:
  The episode opens with news of U.S. forces seizing a Venezuelan oil tanker, set to “Mama Said Knock You Out” for comic effect.
  • “Does everything have to be content these days? Can’t we just take other countries’ oil for the love of the game?” (Michael Kosta, 02:30)
• Trump’s Announcement:
  Trump boasts about seizing the “largest tanker ever.”
  • Michael Kosta lampoons Trump’s habitual one-upmanship:
    • “I seized the largest oil tanker! I had the best MRI! … You’re the only one in the competition, that’s why!” (03:21)
• Maduro’s Response:
  Venezuela’s president, Nicolas Maduro, gives a comically “chill” and unserious response, parodying wartime bravado with “Don’t worry, be happy.”
  • "How is he so chill? Maybe they do have weed.” (03:53)
• War Rhetoric:
  Kosta notes no one (Venezuelans, Americans, or Trump himself) really wants this war, and jokes about absurd consequences (like renaming arepas).

2. The Culture War Over Fonts—“No More Woke Fonts” (05:34-15:02)

• Rubio’s Font Edict:
  Secretary of State Marco Rubio’s decree to ditch Calibri (the “woke font”) for Times New Roman.
  • “Calibri is woke because it’s easier for visually impaired people to read. … For MAGA, ‘woke’ just means helping other people at all.” (Michael Kosta, 06:08)
• Conservative Media & Focal Mockery:
  Newsmax reportedly treats “Calibri” as suspiciously ethnic-sounding, with jokes about ‘proper’ American font names.
  • “Whatever happened to good old American font names like Kyle or Chad?” (Kosta, 08:10)
• Interview with Calibri’s Designer (Luke de Groot):
  Kosta playfully imagines what a professional “font designer” looks like (“He only had two options in his life: this, or killing James Bond…” 09:00).
  • de Groot critiques Times New Roman:
    • “Times New Roman is not a professional font. The distances between the letters are very irregular. The serifs are too thin. … Not very pleasing to read.” (de Groot, 09:54)
  • “We got ourselves a font beef! This is like Tupac and Biggie but for nerds.” (Kosta, 10:26)
• Correspondent Ronny Chieng’s MAGA Font Lab Report:
  A satirical segment on “alpha, unwoke” typefaces.
  • “Trump officials know that fonts are how the woke mind virus sneaks into your eyes, and they’re doing something about it.” (Ronny Chieng, 11:18)
  • Showcases increasingly unreadable and ridiculous “alpha” fonts (e.g., “America Rules,” a font where most letters are guns; “MAGA Warrior,” where every capital letter is a Confederate monument and W’s are boobs).
  • The joke culminates with a font consisting entirely of middle fingers, supposedly improving a Maya Angelou poem.
• Social Commentary:
  The hosts skewer the absurdity of the “font culture war” and play up the performative aggression of the “new fonts.”

3. Satirical Christmas Movie Trailer—Divided America (17:13-20:50)

• A fake Christmas movie trailer:
  Two anonymous online rivals, one MAGA, one resistance, meet IRL and find unlikely love—but their online beef resurfaces in ever-more absurd insults.
  • Parodies the idea of bridging America’s division with holiday spirit.
    • “You called me Elon’s throat goat.” (Trailer, 19:54)
    • “Everybody hates Chuck Schumer.” (20:40)
• Comedy highlights America’s polarization in a heartwarming spoof.

4. Interview: Lonnie Thompson & Climate Science through Ice Cores (22:10-34:59)

Background and Life’s Work (22:32-27:47)

• Ice Cores Explained:
  Thompson details extracting ice cylinders for climate study.
  • “An ice core is a cylinder of ice… We drill them—you can drill 100, 200 feet, or three miles in Antarctica.” (Thompson, 23:14)
  • Ice layers record annual climate history, atmospheric composition, eruptions, etc.
• Record-Holding Research:
  Lonnie’s personal record for heart-transplant recipient ascent:
  • “You still hold the record for the highest elevation a person’s been at with a heart transplant—at 22,000 feet.” (Kosta, 26:39)
• Overcoming Adversity:
  From West Virginia coal country, against the odds and teachers’ discouragement, he persisted.
  • “If you’ve got a dream, go after it… you can change the world.” (Thompson, 27:58)

Climate Change Evidence & Hope (28:09-34:59)

• Clear Trends from Data:
  • “The more greenhouse gas we emit, the more glaciers recede and melt.” (Kosta, 28:21)
  • “No one denies climate change because it’s in your face. It’s happening everywhere.” (Thompson, 28:42)
• Progress & Frustration:
  Thompson notes there has been progress in climate awareness, but not enough action.
  • His daughter’s advice:
    • “Dad, one more ice core isn’t going to change the world. You have to reach thousands to millions of people.” (Thompson quoting his daughter, 29:27)
• International Teamwork:
  • “Our research teams—Russians, Chinese, Americans, South Americans, Tibetans—can go to 22,000 feet and work together. … We just have to tackle a common problem.” (Thompson, 30:49)
  • Hopeful: “Humans made it, we did it. So we might be able to fix it.” (Thompson, 31:32)
• The Beauty and Impartiality of Ice:
  • “Glaciers are my truth serum. They have no political agenda. … In today’s world, they’re all retreating because the world is getting warmer.” (Thompson, 32:51)
  • When glaciers melt, sea levels rise and there are cascading global effects.
    • “Other really bad shit happens around the world, right?” (Kosta, 33:29)
    • “Absolutely.” (Thompson, 33:42)
• Why Science Matters:
  • “Science allows us to see, to see the future. It gives us hope for the future, that we can make a difference.” (Thompson, 34:17)

Notable Closing Exchange

• Moment of Zen (36:36):
  Thompson and Kosta banter about the dizzying pace of mobile technology generations (5G, 6G, “you’ll be into 7G before 6 gets old”).

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Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• Oil Tanker Saga:

  • “Does everything have to be content these days? Can’t we just take other countries' oil for the love of the game?” (Michael Kosta, 02:30)
  • “Trump really will find a way to brag about anything.” (Kosta, 03:21)

• Culture War Over Fonts:

  • “Calibri is woke because it’s easier for visually impaired people to read? … If Calibri was woke, then ramps are woke. … Those chairs that lower old people into the hotel pool are woke.” (Kosta, 06:08)
  • “Times New Roman is not a professional font. The distances between the letters are very irregular. … Not very pleasing to read.” (Luke de Groot, 09:54)
  • “This is like Tupac and Biggie, but for nerds.” (Kosta, 10:26)
  • “Fonts are how the woke mind virus sneaks into your eyes, and they’re doing something about it.” (Ronny Chieng, 11:18)

• Christmas Movie Spoof:

  • “You called me Elon’s throat goat.” (Fake trailer, 19:54)
  • “Everybody hates Chuck Schumer.” (Fake trailer, 20:40)

• Lonnie Thompson Interview:

  • “Ice is amazing. I can say that—I’ve spent my life studying this stuff… Ice tells us not just climate… It also tells us volcanic eruptions… changes in the sun…” (Thompson, 23:41)
  • “If you’ve got a dream, go after it. If you have a passion, go after it. Because you can change the world.” (Thompson, 27:58)
  • “No one denies climate change because it's in your face. It’s happening everywhere.” (Thompson, 28:42)
  • “Glaciers… are my truth serum. They have no political agenda.” (Thompson, 32:51)
  • “Science allows us to see, to see the future. It gives us hope for the future.” (Thompson, 34:17)

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Segment Timestamps

• 01:29: Show begins, recap of main satirical news stories.
• 02:20: Oil tanker video and Trump commentary.
• 03:53: Maduro’s over-chill “threat” response.
• 05:38: “No more woke fonts”—Rubio’s edict.
• 08:10: Parody of “ethnic” font names and Calibri’s designer profile.
• 09:54: Font designer critiques Times New Roman.
• 11:18: Ronny Chieng’s MAGA “unwoke font” lab report.
• 13:03: Escalation of alpha/agro fonts parody.
• 17:27: Satirical Christmas party recap.
• 18:25: Satirical Christmas movie trailer.
• 22:10: Interview with Lonnie Thompson begins.
• 23:14: Ice cores explained.
• 26:39: Record-setting research, heart-transplant feats.
• 27:58: Motivation, advice to young dreamers.
• 28:21: Data on greenhouse gases and glacial melt.
• 29:27: Reaching more people, the importance of communication.
• 30:49: International collaboration as hope.
• 32:51: Glaciers as climate “truth serum.”
• 34:17: Why science matters.
• 36:36: Moment of Zen — joking about tech advances.

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Summary & Takeaways

This episode blends sharp political satire, skewering the U.S.-Venezuela situation and the ridiculousness of a “font culture war,” with a genuine and moving conversation about scientific exploration and climate change. The recurring theme is the struggle to find meaning, clarity, and hope amid a world of performative politics and deep divisions—but also that humor, science, and teamwork remain powerful antidotes to despair and apathy.

The high-energy lampooning of political absurdities is punctuated by the earnest vision of Lonnie Thompson:
“We don’t have to have the same cultures... We just have to tackle a common problem. And I believe we will.” (Thompson, 30:49)

For listeners, it's a reminder that:

• Laughter helps us endure chaos and hypocrisy
• Science and persistent curiosity can inspire hope and drive global change—even one ice core at a time.

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Recommended: Stream “Canary” (Lonnie Thompson’s documentary) on YouTube for a limited time.

Transcript

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Michael Kosta]

And Doug here we have the Limu emu in its natural habitat helping people customize their car insurance and save hundreds with Liberty Mutual. Fascinating. It's accompanied by his natural ally, Doug. Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us. Cut the camera. They see us. Only pay for what you [e-mail] Liberty Liberty Liberty Liberty Savings Ferry unwritten by Liberty Mutual Insurance company and affiliates excludes Massachusetts.

[Announcer]

You're listening to Comedy Central. From the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily show with your host, Michael Costa.

[Michael Kosta]

Oh, baby, we got a good one. Welcome to the Daily Show. I'm Michael Acosta. We've got so much to talk about tonight. Everyone on Santa's Naughty list throws their own Christmas party. Trump tells Venezuela, look at me, I'm the captain now. In which fonts are the gayest, we investigate. So let's get into the headlines. Let's start with an update on America's escalating conflict with Venezuela. While it may seem to have come out of nowhere, it dates all the way back to the Mesozoic era, when oil formed under the earth's surface, which Venezuela then greedily parked on top of. And now this conflict's heating up. We turn to that major escalation off the coast of Venezuela. American forces seizing an oil tanker seen in this dramatic video here.

[Announcer]

The Department of Homeland Security shared the.

[Michael Kosta]

Footage set to the song Mama Said Knock youk Out, I'm gonna knock you out. Mama said knock you out I'm gonna knock you out. Mama said knock. Oh, my God. Does everything have to be content these days? Can't we just take other countries oil for the love of the game? I will say I am so glad that we didn't have social media during World War II. Imagine if you saw a video of your grandpa storming the beaches of Normandy while Wet Ass by Cardi B plays when Donald Trump delivered the news that America, Captain Phillips to this oil tanker. You can see the moment when he Thought for a second about not being Donald Trump, but then he decided to be Donald Trump.

[Lonnie Thompson]

As you probably know, we've just seized a tanker on the coast of Venezuela. Large tanker. Very large.

[Michael Kosta]

Largest one ever seized, actually. Largest tanker ever seized, actually. How big was the oil tanker you seized? Abraham Lincoln, you tall lil ass bitch. Trump really will find a way to brag about anything. I seized the largest oil tanker. I had the best mri. I had the perfect phone call. I'm best friends with the world's greatest pedophile. You know why you keep winning, Donald Trump? You're the only one in the competition. That's why. That creepy ass hand orgy trophy is all yours, dude. No one else wants it. No one is quite sure why Trump is going after Venezuela so hard, but the fact is Venezuela is being threatened, which is why yesterday their president, Nicolas Maduro, came out in what I assume is his most threatening war hat to deliver a response. And look. I know that looks unserious, but this is a president addressing his own country on the brink of war. Let's see how he responds. Don't worry, be happy. La la la la la la la. Don't worry, be happy. You know how there's always that one guy at karaoke who thinks he nailed it? This guy is about to be overthrown. How is he so chill? Maybe they do have it seems like war with Venezuela is inevitable. Even though Venezuelans don't want it, Americans don't want it. And Donald Trump still isn't quite sure if Venezuela is a country or his cleaning lady. Not to mention nobody. Not to mention nobody has the energy to start calling arepas liberty cornmeal cakes or something. And if you're wondering why the Secretary of State Marco Rubio isn't trying to find a diplomatic solution, it's because he has more important things on his plate right now. Secretary Rubio tells the State Department, get with the times. No more woke fonts.

[Ronny Ch]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michael Kosta]

No more woke fonts. Wait, what the is a woke font? Was the default offended by the Sydney Sweetie Jeans ad? Help me out here, Rubio. What makes it woke?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

The State Department is ditching calibri after a new order from Secretary of State Marco Rubio. Documents are now switching back to to Times New Roman. In 2023, the Biden administration had the department begin using calibri, which saying it's easier for visually impaired people to read.

[Michael Kosta]

I'm sorry, I'm sorry. Calibri is woke because it's easier for visually impaired people to read. Who wouldn't want to Help the visually impaired. I almost helped a blonde guy cross the street once. It's very brave of me. But apparently for maga, the definition of woke up, that at this point it means helping other people at all, even if it doesn't hurt anyone else. That means if Calibri was woke, then ramps are woke, Braille is woke. Those chairs that lower old people into the hotel pool are woke. How else are they going to secretly finger blast each other under the water, huh? That's not the world I want to grow old in. The. This is such a pathetic attempt to start a culture war. There's no way conservative media is going to run with it. Right? Right, Right. Secretary Rubio trashing the Biden era.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Change to Calibri, a softer, wider font.

[Michael Kosta]

Rubio says, and I quote, switching to Calibri achieved nothing except the degradation of the department's official correspondence. Boom.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

The superior font is back.

[Michael Kosta]

Boom, boom, boom. You didn't see that, did you? No, cuz it wasn't written in calibre, you soft ass blonde bitches. I almost feel bad for conservative media. It's like they're suffering from an outrage shortage under Trump. Merry Christmas is back. We can say the R word again. Let's see, are there any gay fonts? And of course, Newsmax had to make this whole idea of a font called Calibri sound suspiciously ethnic.

[Lonnie Thompson]

He's ordering every US diplomat worldwide to stop immediately using that.

[Michael Kosta]

Calibri. Calibri, Calabrew, Akbar, Calakala, Mamdani. Whatever happened to good old American font names like Kyle or Chad? Look, let's not forget about the real victim in all this. Of course I'm talking about the man who designed the Calibri font. And before I show you who that is, just take a moment to picture in your mind what this professional font designer might look like. Because you're correct. Joining me now, Luke De Groot, the designer who created the calligraphont. Really appreciate you joining us today. I mean, has anyone in history ever been more font designer than this guy? He only had two options in his life. This or killing James Bond. He looks like a guy who I would listen to while stroking my chin. And then when he walked away, I'd go, I have no clue what that guy's talking about. But just look at this blackboard. I mean, this guy's got game. He's got a candle thing, what looks like a new jeep. And then look at the bottom right here. Look at that ghost made out of train tracks. Did he just. Is this like a new Letter. You can see why this man makes the medium bucks, huh? Honestly, I'm just glad this kid who went to middle school and drew the cool s all the time was allowed to make a career out of. Anyways, let's hear what sprockets here has to say. I assume it's something along the lines of, all fonts are beautiful, and we shouldn't be pitting them against each other. I would rather say that Times New Roman is not a professional font. The distances between the letters are very irregular. It's way too spindly. It's too thin. The seraps are too thin. The sharp details are hurting the eyes and not very pleasing to read. Whoa. Shit. Shit.

[Ronny Ch]

Damn.

[Commercial Voice/Other Guest]

What?

[Michael Kosta]

We got ourselves a fop beef. This is like Tupac and Biggie, but for nerds. I hope Time's New Roman comes back hard. Yo mama's so fast, she only types in Ariel Bold. Oh. Boom. For more on the culture war over fonts, let's go live to Washington with Ronny Ch. This is Big Ronnie. Thank you, Ronnie. Isn't it silly to say a font is D E I?

[Ronny Ch]

Oh, I'm sorry, Costa. Are you speaking in Comic Sans right now? Because you sound like a joke. Look, Americans voted for change, and by change, they meant fonts, okay? Trump officials know that fonts are how the woke mind virus sneaks into your eyes, and they're doing something about it.

[Michael Kosta]

Ronny, no one cares about fonts. And for what it's worth, Calibri's is just easier to read.

[Ronny Ch]

Uh, okay, Calibri's just easier to read. It's less harsh on my Beta cuck retinas. Well, hey, maybe stop skipping I day at the gym, bro.

[Michael Kosta]

So you're telling me if I don't want to be woke, I have to use Times New Roman?

[Ronny Ch]

No, that's even more woke. Even the name Times New Roman, as in, I'm just roaming the bathhouses for gay sex? I don't think so.

[Michael Kosta]

I'm. I'm pretty sure that's not what it's short for. But.

[Lonnie Thompson]

But.

[Commercial Voice/Other Guest]

Fine.

[Michael Kosta]

Okay. Which fonts are not woke?

[Ronny Ch]

Look, not a lot, okay? It's.

[Lonnie Thompson]

It's.

[Ronny Ch]

It's basically just the Metallica font and maybe the Goosebumps font, but. But that's why the Trump administration's hard at work designing brand new fonts here at the Maga Font lab.

[Michael Kosta]

The Magafont Laboratory.

[Ronny Ch]

Yeah. Yeah, it used to be a research facility to combat childhood diabetes, but RFK Jr gave all the fat kids raw milk and sent them home, so. So now they're using this facility for actual good, okay? By creating the most alpha, unwokest typefaces you've ever seen. Check this one out, Kosta. It's the America Rules font. Do you see this? It's pretty much the Sopranos font, but even more letters are guns, and guns are cool, therefore, this font is cool. You scared, Kosta?

[Michael Kosta]

No, no, it's just hard to read, though.

[Ronny Ch]

Yeah, that's the point. They want things to be harder to read, okay? Reading is how liberals indoctrinate children. Remember that book, Curious George? What's he so curious about, Costa? Islam? I don't want to know. Which is why we got another font that's even harder to read, and we're calling it Maga Warrior.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Okay?

[Ronny Ch]

Every capital letter is a confederate monument, except. Except the W's, which are boobs. Now, imagine getting an official memo with that. Costa, you probably shit your pants.

[Michael Kosta]

Ronnie, Ronnie, Ronnie, this is insane. These are all offensive, and they're just offensive for the sake of being offensive. Why does this administration always have to act like such agro bros?

[Ronny Ch]

Because America needs to project strength. Like with this font called you bro.

[Commercial Voice/Other Guest]

All.

[Ronny Ch]

All the letters are just middle fingers. Okay? You see how much better it makes this Maya Angelou poem?

[Michael Kosta]

No. Okay, this isn't even writing anymore. Why can't you guys just settle on a plain, neutral font like courier?

[Ronny Ch]

Oh, courier. As in send a courier to the bathhouse to pick up some Lizzo posters? No, thanks, Costa. You see what these fonts represent?

[Michael Kosta]

Oh. Oh.

[Ronny Ch]

Oh, no. Oh, no. I'm being told one of the experimental fonts got out, and this one's just a gorilla with a rocket launcher. Okay, so I gotta get out of here.

[Michael Kosta]

Well, just follow the exit signs, Ronnie. I can't.

[Ronny Ch]

All the signs are just middle fingers. I mean, it's so cool. But where do I go?

[Michael Kosta]

Where do I go?

[Ronny Ch]

Where'd I go? Where'd I go?

[Michael Kosta]

He'll be Chang. Everyone, when we come back, we got a sneak peek at the best Christmas movie you'll see this year.

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[Michael Kosta]

Welcome back to the Daily Show. Well, it happened again. I wasn't invited to the Obama's Christmas party, but it's fine. I'm used to it by now. But there is one Christmas party this year that I would have loved to attend.

[Announcer]

George Santos hosted his inaugural Christmas party on Tuesday night.

[Michael Kosta]

I'm very excited to be celebrating with close friends, supporters and all people who.

[Ronny Ch]

Really stuck by me.

[Announcer]

The guest list included convicted socialite Anna Delvey and disgraced pharma exec Martin Shkreli.

[Michael Kosta]

Wow. George Santos, Anna Delvey and Martin Shkreli at the same party. It was very exclusive. The password to get in was your Social Security number and your mom's maiden name. I'm just confused though. George Santos threw a Christmas party. I'm starting to think this guy's lying about being Jewish. But the only thing I enjoy more than Christmas parties are Christmas movies, especially ones that I star in. And even though this year the Christmas spirit might be dulled by our political divisions, one holiday movie shows that there's still a way to bring people together. Roll it.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

This holiday season, she ran an anonymous resistance account with a million followers. Looks like Taco Trump just folded like a cheap gordita. He was her anonymous MAGA arch rival.

[Michael Kosta]

Defiant. That's Daddy Trump to you. And he will spank America great again.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Their online war was raging until one December they met irl. Oh, I am so sorry. Do you want to do Christmas stuff? Now they'll get to see. Hey, Aindeer Turd 3. You're dumber than that worm in RFK's brain.

[Michael Kosta]

Yo. Exodus mom Defiant. If we ever meet, I'll spit in your face.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

That's sometimes the one you hate.

[Michael Kosta]

I will piss on your vaccinated.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Btw. Your mom gives more free rides than a mom.

[Michael Kosta]

You're Santa. Trump dropping shit on you from his sled.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Cry more, bitch. Just might be the one. He's fun. He's handsome. I really think this is it. Is this too much of Clinton's on Trump's face? I like it.

[Michael Kosta]

She's fun. She gets me. Grok. Do you think she's the one? I am Mecca Hitler. The globalist Jews are conspiring to take over the world.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

But they're going to find out.

[Michael Kosta]

Oh, geez.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

If love trumps hate.

[Michael Kosta]

Wait.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

You're reindeer turd three.

[Michael Kosta]

You're Xmas mom Defiant. You called me Elon's throat goat.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

You had me swatted.

[Michael Kosta]

You got me fired from my teaching job.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh, cry more, bitch.

[Michael Kosta]

I guess you don't care about facts or my feelings.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Nobody's perfect. Except Pete Buttigieg. Sometimes all love needs is a Christmas miracle. The Democrats caved again.

[Michael Kosta]

Ha. Democrats caved again. Chuck Schumer. Chuck Schumer is pathetic.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Wait, we agree this holiday season.

[Michael Kosta]

I didn't know you hated Chuck Schumer.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Everyone hates Chuck Schumer.

[Michael Kosta]

I know why. It's because he's junior. Not now, grog.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh, trolley night.

[Michael Kosta]

Woo. Huh? When we come back, Lonnie Thompson will be joining me on the show. Don't go. Hablas espanol spries?

[Ronny Ch]

Du dzoich kom dul nosq.

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[Michael Kosta]

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[Michael Kosta]

Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is a paleoclimatologist whose pioneering research collecting ice cores to study climate change is featured in the documentary Canary. Please welcome Lonnie Th. Thank you for being here.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Thank you.

[Michael Kosta]

Zara, speed up your intro. No problem.

[Announcer]

Wow.

[Michael Kosta]

Thank you, thank you. Thank you for coming and thank you for all the work you've done. Thank you for. Man, it doesn't seem easy. What you've been doing your whole professional career, you've been studying ice cores in the tropical regions. Glaciers.

[Lonnie Thompson]

That's right.

[Michael Kosta]

Is that right?

[Lonnie Thompson]

You got it.

[Michael Kosta]

What is an ice core? Look, Lonnie, I know they don't know. What's an ice core?

[Lonnie Thompson]

An ice core is a cylinder of ice. They're about 4 inches in diameter.

[Michael Kosta]

Yep.

[Lonnie Thompson]

And we drill them. We use a drill just like you would drilling for oil. You go down, you bring up a core and you can drill 100 and 200ft, or you can drill three miles in Antarctica, where we have lots of ice.

[Michael Kosta]

So what does that cylinder tell you?

[Lonnie Thompson]

Ice is amazing. I can say that I've spent my life studying this stuff. Ice tells us not just climate, things like temperature from the isotopes and the ice and precipitation by the annular layer thickness. It also tells us volcanic eruptions, things that can change climate. We can look at changes in the output of the sun through cosmogenic nuclei.

[Michael Kosta]

Meaning in those years. So you can go all the way down to this glacier and know what it was like a thousand years ago.

[Lonnie Thompson]

We have records from Antarctica to go back over 800,000.

[Michael Kosta]

Get the out of here. What did you guys do at your job today, huh? Fill out a little Microsoft Excel sheet so we know the temperature, we know if it rained that year, and we.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Also know the composition of the atmosphere and the bubbles trapped in the ice. Wow. So we can look at CO2 and methane, those things we're concerned about today. What's so natural and where are we today?

[Michael Kosta]

Right. I was going to say. So knowing that history then allows us to analyze where we are today.

[Lonnie Thompson]

That is the purpose.

[Michael Kosta]

And we'll get to that in a second. And the movie's called Canary, and it is a beautiful Documentary of your life's work. And if this even intrigues you at all, what he's saying, check out the film. It's available actually for free now on YouTube for a few weeks, which they're doing for us and for our audience to watch it with your family over the holidays. You can't just fly 20,000ft to a glacier with a 6 ton drill. AM I right?

[Lonnie Thompson]

You're absolutely right.

[Michael Kosta]

So how do you get all this stuff up there?

[Lonnie Thompson]

Well, first of all, you have to have lots of good people to work with. Right. Can't do it alone. So this is a team effort and you have to have lightweight equipment. And we're very fortunate to live in this age where you have Kevlar cable and you have Teflon and you have all of these things that allow us to do these. So has to be lightweight, portable, but you still in total weigh six tons.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah.

[Lonnie Thompson]

And you got to get it up there and assemble it. So, yeah, a great team effort.

[Michael Kosta]

I mean, you were, yeah, this is you carrying tools up there. At one point you were, oh, we'll take a helicopter. The helicopter pilot cycle.

[Lonnie Thompson]

You.

[Michael Kosta]

I'm not doing that.

[Lonnie Thompson]

That's exactly what happened.

[Michael Kosta]

And one of the things I loved about this story was you kept being faced with more nos, with more, you can't do that. The helicopter won't take you. And you just kept figuring out a way to do it. Not only that, you had a heart transplant. I mean, you still hold the record for the highest elevation that a person's been at with a heart transplant at 20,000ft. 22,000ft.

[Lonnie Thompson]

22,000Ft.

[Michael Kosta]

I mean, you went, yeah. Meanwhile, his doctor's like, hey, can you not, you know, meanwhile, you went on six more expeditions with this heart.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Nine now. Nine now.

[Michael Kosta]

I don't mean to be crude, but I, you know, it feels like you were willing to die for this work.

[Lonnie Thompson]

No, I would say that I'm very fortunate that I am 77 years old, but my heart is 34.

[Michael Kosta]

That's great. Yeah.

[Lonnie Thompson]

I mean, we live in an amazing time in human history. This is possible.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah, yeah. Let's talk about where you're from. You're from West Virginia.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Yeah.

[Michael Kosta]

Coal country.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Absolutely.

[Michael Kosta]

You said you had teachers tell you growing up, don't dream too big because you probably won't get there. And here you are right now. And did that motivate you? What do you have to say to kids that are hearing similar things where they're from?

[Lonnie Thompson]

It's very important to listen to advice. But at the end of the day, you got to look at yourself, find out where your limits are. We all have limits.

[Michael Kosta]

Right.

[Lonnie Thompson]

We have to find those. And so for them, if you've got a dream, go after it. You have a passion, go after it. Because you can change the world.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah. Well, let's talk about that because you're very open in the movie about you collected all this data around the world. World. It's very clear, right?

[Lonnie Thompson]

I mean, absolutely.

[Michael Kosta]

The more greenhouse gas we emit, the more glaciers recede and melt.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Absolutely.

[Michael Kosta]

And you released all this data, went to Congress and where are we at?

[Lonnie Thompson]

Well, we have made. Sometimes I go back and forth on where we're at.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah.

[Lonnie Thompson]

But we have made progress.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah.

[Lonnie Thompson]

It is much better today. No one denies climate change because it's in your face. It's happening everywhere. And I found in drilling in 16 different countries around the world, far more good people on this planet wanting to do the right thing, trying to do the right thing. And if we, all those good people do the right thing, we change the world.

[Michael Kosta]

Right. And it's hard to measure awareness. But the fact that climate change is even in our vernacular, we're not doing enough, we're not fixing the problem. Can you get frustrated by that? I mean, here you are lugging a six ton drill on the top of a glacier to get information to help fix and solve climate change, and yet we haven't fixed it.

[Lonnie Thompson]

We haven't fixed it. And I have to give my daughter credit for Canary because she told me a decade ago, she said, dad, one more I score. You're not going to change the world. You're going to have to reach thousands to millions of people. And I want to give credit to Danny o' Malley and Alex Rivest, Adam Smith, producers of the film. I don't think we could have found better producers to tell the story well.

[Michael Kosta]

And I love that these film producers are picking scientists to showcase.

[Ronny Ch]

Right.

[Michael Kosta]

I mean, why not make science and environmentalists heroes of stories? And I think it's amazing that they've done that. And so go ahead.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Yeah. I would say that telling the true story of scientists and getting the truth out is a way to inspire the next generation of young people.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah. It's also interesting that your daughter younger generation was basically saying, hey, you got to get on TikTok, dad. Your daughter did say this, which I loved. The change won't happen with one person, but it also can't happen without one person. It can't happen without you, it can't happen without me, it can't Happen without every country. That's what it takes. Understanding that you do matter, every person matters. Can we globally do this?

[Lonnie Thompson]

Yes, yes, absolutely. I take a lot of solace in the fact that our research teams of Russians, Chinese, Americans, South Americans, Tibetans, and we can go to 22,000ft and we can work together to accomplish a mission. And so for climate change, we don't have to have the same cultures, the same religions, the same belief systems. We just have to tackle a common problem. Right. And I believe we will.

[Michael Kosta]

I mean, we did get ourselves here, right?

[Lonnie Thompson]

Humans made it, we did it.

[Michael Kosta]

So we might be able to fix it.

[Lonnie Thompson]

We should be able to fix it.

[Michael Kosta]

Right. Is that naive of me? Maybe a little bit.

[Lonnie Thompson]

No, no, no.

[Michael Kosta]

Let's talk more about ice. Why is ice so cool? Like, I don't know why. I mean, I see these ice cores and I go, I don't understand how you can really tell the temperature 750 years ago.

[Lonnie Thompson]

First of all, in the upper parts of these cores, they're annually dated. They're like a tree. You get winter snow, isotopes, depleted summer snow. They're enriched like a tree. You count back in time. If you're in the tropics, you got a wet season, dry season, dry season, there's a dust layer. Count those. You can go back through our history. We can go back through previous cultures, like the Tiwanaku, the Waris. We had no written language, but the ice was recording every year through their rise and their fall.

[Michael Kosta]

That's beautiful. And it might be your wife in the film says. And your wife is. Your wife is someone you work with as well, right?

[Lonnie Thompson]

Absolutely. Yeah.

[Michael Kosta]

And she said it might have been her. But someone said that you wanted to tell the glacier story.

[Lonnie Thompson]

They let the glaciers tell their story.

[Michael Kosta]

That's what I meant.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Yeah.

[Michael Kosta]

The glaciers tell their story. Yes.

[Lonnie Thompson]

The beauty of ice and glaciers is, to me, they're my truth serum. They have no political agenda, no lobbyists are going to get to them, no special interest groups. They're just summing up temperature, precipitation, cloudiness, radiation, and reacting. And in today's world, they're all retreating because the world is getting warmer. It's a very clear story. And of course, ice melts when it gets warm and disappears. And where does that water go? Into the oceans. And therefore sea level is rising around the world. That and thermal expansion of the ocean because the oceans are getting warmer.

[Michael Kosta]

Right. So that's. And maybe that's clear to someone like you, but maybe for a dumb TV host like me, when the glaciers melt Other really bad shit happens around the world, right?

[Lonnie Thompson]

Absolutely.

[Ronny Ch]

There you go.

[Michael Kosta]

This isn't just if you live beneath the mountain. This is for all of us.

[Lonnie Thompson]

This is for all of us.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah. And we're all going to be affected.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Yes, we're all going to be affected.

[Michael Kosta]

As someone who's devoted your life to science, and I love the movie Canary, please watch it. It's great. You can watch it all ages. It's great to watch it with kids because they're going to go, what's that? That's a drill. You should be a scientist. Scientist. Why is science important to you? What does it mean to you, science? I know it's a broad question, but I thought you'd have a thought.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Well, I think science, I mean, you look at our history, you look at our vaccines for polio, you look at our Webb telescope, we can see galaxies outside of our galaxy. I mean, science allows us to see, to see the future. That gives us hope for the future, that we can make a difference. We can change things. We just have to go after it. You don't know what's possible until you try. And if we try, we advance. And we've made tremendous advances in science and it's good for all of humanity.

[Michael Kosta]

Yeah. Is that what you told the helicopter pilot? Hey, we don't know what's go. Canary is available on YouTube for free to promote science and adventure over the holidays. Lonnie Thompson. We'll take a quick break. We'll come right back after this. Thank you for talking with us.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Michael Kosta]

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[Michael Kosta]

That's the show for tonight and for 2025. Have a safe and happy holiday. See you in January. Now here it is, your moment of Zen.

[Lonnie Thompson]

So we're into 6G now? I just 5G. I was a leader on 5G getting.

[Michael Kosta]

That done and now they're up to 6.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Let's do it again.

[Michael Kosta]

So 6 is coming, huh?

[Lonnie Thompson]

It's coming. Does it ever end and what happens? You'll be into seven right?

[Michael Kosta]

Before six gets old, you'll be into seven.

[Lonnie Thompson]

Anybody have anything else to say?

[Announcer]

Explore more shows from the Daily Show Podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. This has been a Comedy Central podcast.

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[Michael Kosta]

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