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Jordan Klopper
This is an iHeart podcast. You're listening to Comedy Central from the most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily show with your host, Jordan Klopper. Welcome to Daily Trump. George Clapper. We got so much to talk about tonight. Trump makes an Irish exit from Canada. I head to D.C. to crash the most tremendous birthday bash in American history. And the author James Patterson will be here along with his co author Bill Clinton tonight. Okay, so let's get into headlines. Now. This was supposed to be Study Abroad Weekly and things started out oh so well. He arrived at the G7 confidently strolling out of the woods like a contestant on the Golden Bachelorette or a shaved sasquatch. You know, you see what you want to see. Now this is an important G7 for Trump because he had to prove that he had the discipline and wherewithal to fix the global economy. After he up the global economy. And you know what? He almost nailed it.
Donald Trump
We all know the great prime minister of the UK and we just signed a document.
Jordan Klopper
This is very important document. Don't worry, don't worry. There's a five second rule with trade agreements. Trump's still totally good to eat those documents. And I know some of you haters are gonna make fun of. But Trump didn't drop the papers by accident. It was a 4D chess move to check out the British Prime Minister's badonkadonk. But before Trump could sign and or drop any other trade deals, he decided to peace out overnight. President Trump with an abrupt about face.
Donald Trump
Announcing he's cutting short his trip to.
Jordan Klopper
The G7 summit in Canada. Racing back to the White House instead.
Donald Trump
I have to be back. Very important. I want to just thank our great host. But you probably see what I see. I have to be back.
Jordan Klopper
We all know what this is, right? You're at an event, you have to rush home because something came up. Look, I get it. None of us like to poop in an unfamiliar place. Sometimes when you have a big matchup coming up, you just need that home field advantage. I understand Donald Trump, but of course, the real reason Donald Trump rushed home to Washington was to deal with the war between Israel and Iran. And the big question was, was he rushing home to help negotiate an end to the war or to bring America into the war? It's the most important decision a nation can make and one that we've whiffed on for the last like 10, 20, 30, 40. It doesn't matter. The point is. The point is it'd be really reassuring to know that the President has a clear, consistent plan. So, Mr. President, are you looking for war or a ceasefire?
Donald Trump
We're not looking for a ceasefire.
Jordan Klopper
I didn't say I was looking for a ceasefire. Oh, shit. Okay. He's not looking for a ceasefire.
Donald Trump
We're looking at it. Better than ceasefire.
Jordan Klopper
Oh, great. Yeah, better than a ceasefire. Ceasefire plus. That's great. I hate watching ads. That's wonderful. This is good news. I'm glad you're gonna negotiate with Iran. I don't know.
Bill Clinton
I'm not too much in the mood to negotiate.
Jordan Klopper
Okay, all right, not in the mood. Okay. The President's not vibing on negotiations then. So it's war. Because who would negotiate besides you, Mr. President? He's considering sending the Vice President to.
Bill Clinton
Negotiate with the Iranians.
Jordan Klopper
You know, I think this is fantastic. JD Vance is a great choice to negotiate. The Iranians will agree to anything to get him the out of there. You know what? And it's great for peace because if Trump is negotiating, it sounds like we're not gonna flatten Tehran anytime soon. The President warned everyone in Iran's capital city to flee. Posting everyone should immediately evacuate Tehran with no additional explanation. You know what? I can use some additional explanation. Mr. President, I am more confused than ever. Please just sum up your explanation in one clean tweet. President Trump has just posted new comments directed at Iran. We know exactly where the so called Supreme Leader is hiding. He is an easy target, but is safe there. We are not going to take him out. And then in parentheses kill. At least not for now. Okay, so we know where the Ayatollah is, but he's safe. We could kill him. But we won't for now. Maybe later we'll find out. Next on the Golden Bachelorette. Okay, how does one tweet and have six different positions? I mean, clearly we're not going to get any clarity from listening to President Trump. Maybe other people in his inner circle can shed some light on America's position. Tucker Carlson, huge supporter of the President. What do you think of the war? I just don't want my country to be further weakened or destroyed by another one of these wars. And boy, if you can't connect the dots after 25 years of this, you're either too dumb to participate in the conversation or you're just a liar who doesn't care. Wow. Wow. I mean, Tucker, he hasn't been this distraught since the WNBA got popular. Okay, Mr. President, I hope you understand what Tucker Carlson.
Donald Trump
I don't know what Tucker Carlson is.
Bill Clinton
Saying, let him go get a television network and say it so that people listen.
Donald Trump
Thank you.
Jordan Klopper
Oh, snap. Trump's like, go on TV and say it, you bitch. That's right, you can't, because you got kicked off Fox News for lying about me winning the 2020 election, which I appreciate. You bitch. So, yes, Trump is not on the same page as Tucker, and he seems to be at odds with some of the other top MAGA minds as well. The American people have been brainwashed into believing that America has to engage in.
Donald Trump
These foreign wars in order for us.
Jordan Klopper
To survive, and it's absolutely not true. Oh, my God. I can't believe I'm agreeing with Marjorie Taylor Greene. I'm at war with myself. This can't be right. Keep playing the clip. I'm sure I'll find something to disagree with her on. They don't want to hear about politics. They want to be able to afford food and they want to be able to afford gas, and they just want to have fun. For once in their life, they want to have fun. Yes, I still agree with her. For once in their life, Americans just want to have fun. I don't want a war. I want to dance. Although, you know what? I'm pretty sure Americans do know how to have fun, regardless of international conflicts. I've never gotten a text saying, hey, bro, territorial dispute in the South China Sea. Barbecue's canceled. So doesn't seem like Trump is listening to the anti war wing of his party. Maybe he'll listen to the anti war wing of his own administration. Like Tulsi Gabbard. His own Director of National intelligence, Tulsi Gabbard testified in March that the intelligence community said Iran wasn't building a nuclear weapon.
Bill Clinton
What she said, I think they were.
Donald Trump
Very close to having one.
Jordan Klopper
This is the benefit of appointing unqualified crazy people to your team. You could always be like, do you know how crazy and unqualified she is? I don't care what she said. So Trump is beefing with the anti war wing of his party and dismissing intelligence from his own cabinet, showing that Iran is not actually building nukes. It certainly seems to be leaning in a let's do a World War III direction. And weirdly enough, the final confirmation might be pizza. According to an account on X called the Pentagon Pizza Report, nearly all pizza establishments nearby the Pentagon have experienced a.
Bill Clinton
Huge surge in activity.
Jordan Klopper
Here's why. When U.S. military personnel face a national emergency, they work late into the night and can't leave their desks at 8:57pm Thursday, the Pentagon Pizza report reported that the closest and second closest dominoes to the Pentagon had surfaced. Oh my God. We're going to war. Or everyone at the Pentagon just got divorced at the same time. Look, I don't know how things are going to end, but it seems like they're trending in a bad direction. I will say this though. If you told me after election Day that within four months of Trump's presidency, I'd be staring at a Domino's Pizza tracker to figure out if we're going to enter the final war of mankind, I'd have said that's about right. For more on the pending war with Iran, we go live outside the Pentagon with our own Michael Kosta. Michael. Michael. I'm curious, Michael. So what is. What's the latest? Jordan, this is a nuanced and complicated situation, and the only solution is for America to enter a decades long total war with Iran. Make no mistake, the US Military needs to dig in, buckle down, pick up some Mikey K's Meat Lovers pizzas with extra tangy sauce and prepare for the worst. I'm sorry, what was that last part you said about preparing for the worst? Yes, we'll probably need a new draft, too. Millions of able bodied young men ready to fight for America and chow down on Mikey K's Buffalo Chicken Supreme, Mama Mia. With a free 45 ounce Mountain Dew. Code Red. Just like Nona used to marry. Do you own a pizza parlor or are you trying to profiteer from a war? No, no, no. I have a small investment in a pizza place nearby that I also manage and busboy at. But that in no way affects my impartial analysis. I've looked at the evidence and we have to go to war against Iran, possibly Iraq again, and definitely India. What did India do? Well, they're a regional superpower, Jordan. They're a threat to our survival. Right now, their military leaders are plotting against us, working day and night, ordering delicious takeout. Michael, do you have a pizza place in India? Absolutely not. It's a small tandoori kitchen called Second to Non Free Mango Lassie with every any order. Just like Nona used to make. Okay, Costa, come on, man, this is crazy. I know. With any order, Jordan, there is no minimum. No, no, what's crazy is you're trying to start World War Three so you can, what, sell bad takeout? How dare you. Our chutney is the talk of New Delhi, I assume. I can't figure out what they're saying, but what's the big deal? Defense contractors can goad our nation into endless pointless wars for profit. But Nona Costa can't get a taste. Look, you're all bad. Americans don't want war. Isn't there a way to make money off peace so the world can live in harmony? International relations aren't that simple, Jordan. Two nations that are total opposites can't overcome their cultural differences, uniting in a perfect blend of magical serenity. The only place that that exists is in our new delicious sushi taco. As my Nonna used to say, es muy konichiwa. Get out of here. Michael Costa, everyone. We come back, I find out how Trump's birthday went. Don't go. Welcome back to the Daily Show. Donald Trump finally made his military parade dreams come true last weekend. But was it everything he wanted? I decided to find out. This past weekend, I went to our nation's capital to join the celebration of the 250th birthday of the US army and the 79th birthday of Donald J. Trump. This was reportedly a 45 million dollar event and there was family fun everywhere. I'm talking cornhole howitzers, kids with machine guns, kids with machine guns on top of jeeps, kids with rocket launchers, and the always popular killer robot dogs. Thank you for your service.
Donald Trump
We are here because we love America.
Jordan Klopper
We are celebrating the 250th birthday of the army. And it's Flag Day.
Donald Trump
It's the President's birthday.
Jordan Klopper
Today is America's Super Bowl. Wouldn't that be the Super Bowl? What are you most excited to see? Tanks. We're going to see all of our tanks, our Bradleys, our artillery, tanks, helicopters, howitzers. I wouldn't mind seeing Don Ju. Okay.
Donald Trump
Yeah.
Jordan Klopper
Have you ever been to an event like this? Yes, but in local, smaller scale. Local parades, Moscow, Pyongyang. No, no, no, no, no, no. Not like that. Who do you think is going to do this parade better, us or the North Koreans? I don't compare myself to anybody because.
Donald Trump
Everybody in the world would love to.
Jordan Klopper
Be an American, at least for a day. Looking around, I wonder, was this a military celebration or more of a make Donnie feel like a big boy authoritarian leader?
Donald Trump
You know one thing about Donald Trump, he's been the greatest leader this country's ever had.
Jordan Klopper
Is that why we're throwing him this parade?
Donald Trump
It's not his parade. It's the United States Army.
Jordan Klopper
I keep getting confused. I keep getting. I keep, I keep looking at these hats and I'm like, there's an American. There's a tiny little American flag right there on the side. Now I see it.
Donald Trump
50Th anniversary.
Jordan Klopper
Now I see. It makes me mad listening to the people that are saying that this is all about Donald Trump and his birthday. No, it's not. I love Donald Trump, but technically we are here to support our military. Your focus today is just on the military. Yes, sir. And that's why you wore your dress blues. Well, I'm not in camouflage to support the military.
Donald Trump
I'm here to support Trump because it.
Jordan Klopper
Is also his birthday. Was there some debate about where to put the U? Nope, not at all. Of course, parades come with a price tag, but if there's one thing this administration knows, it's what's useful and what's waste. Trump has had to make some cuts. Had to make some really tough decisions. I know. DOGE cut back on the Department of Education. Cut back. Well done. Well done. The epa. Yep. Yeah, yeah, absolutely. There's some tough cuts. Cancer research. Cut it. Let's go back to all natural. You don't need to be researching on cancer. We basically have that fixed anyway. Alzheimer's research. Why not? Why not cut the Alzheimer's research? Yeah. We're just cool with that.
Bill Clinton
I'm cool with that.
Jordan Klopper
Are you excited about all these DOGE cuts? Yes, I am. Because the government's spent is stealing too much of the money and they're wasting too much of my day. Act on tax dollars. Oh, my God. Government wastes so much money. Yes. Oh, my God. It's insane. What, to spend money on just foolishness. Enjoy the 45 million dollar parade at all the tanks. Yeah, that's a good use of your tax dollar.
Donald Trump
I think it's important for America to.
Jordan Klopper
Flex their muscles so people, people know that America is generous. America is nice, America is polite.
Donald Trump
But America can really become badass.
Jordan Klopper
Now, just brainstorming here. If we want to show the world that we're generous and nice, wouldn't it help to do like generous and nice things for the world? We are already doing it.
Donald Trump
USAID more generous and nice.
Jordan Klopper
We let people to take advantage of us left and right. So we're showing them that we're kind by taking it away so they see how kind we are. Absolutely. Absolutely. Okay, I get it. Tanks are fun and our military men and women should be honored. But it was hard to celebrate this public show of force when the President was put the military on the streets of LA to confront other Americans. How do you think we're going to need our military? What is the biggest threat? To be honest with you, I see a global change Right now. And if America doesn't want to support America, America won't be America very long. Get on. Get on board. You're an American.
Bill Clinton
Right.
Jordan Klopper
Which one of these tanks do you think we should send to Los Angeles?
Donald Trump
I think we should send all of them.
Jordan Klopper
Which weapons should we send over to Los Angeles? Oh, them clowns. I always say Trump need to just give him some stuff to make him go to sleep and then just handcuff him afterwards. Okay, Roofie. And then carry all them to jail. Is that a Pete Hegseth plan? I don't know, but that's my plan. Trump, if you're listening, that's what you do. You should roofie the Democrats.
Donald Trump
Put them all asleep with some sleeping.
Jordan Klopper
Stuff and then lock them up. But like you said, today isn't about that. It's about America. America. Yeah. But at the end of the day, Trump's parade was kind of a dud. It didn't have the cold, intimidating scope of other authoritarian displays. All we had was guys holding drones like pizzas and killer robot dogs who just wanted treats. I got a sativa gummy in here somewhere. See you at Trump's 80. When we come back, Bill Clinton and James Patterson will be joining me on the show. Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guests tonight are New York Times best selling authors of the new political thriller, the First Gentleman. Please welcome former President Bill Clinton and James Patterson.
Bill Clinton
What a nice crowd.
Jordan Klopper
They're lovely. Nice people. Not a bad bunch of folks, huh?
Bill Clinton
No.
Jordan Klopper
Yes.
Bill Clinton
Very kind.
Jordan Klopper
They're very kind folks. Gentlemen, you wrote a White House thriller. I gotta say, politics is so boring. Thank you. Thank you for trying to spice it up, you know.
Bill Clinton
Well, right now it doesn't take a lot.
Jordan Klopper
Right? It doesn't take a lot. Well, this is a story about the First Gentleman who is accused of murder. President Clinton, I'm wondering what's it like to live inside the headspace face of the First Gentleman.
Donald Trump
I don't know. I tried. It's the only job I ever wanted in politics that I didn't get. And.
Bill Clinton
He'S got all the good lines.
Jordan Klopper
You're the writer, you got to do this.
Bill Clinton
I was the writer.
Jordan Klopper
What?
Donald Trump
Let me say, it's not easy.
Jordan Klopper
Sure.
Donald Trump
I mean, if. But our guy is sort of a perfect picture of the dilemma because he was. He went to school with the President, then they later met in California, fell in love and got married. But he was a big jock. He was the first Ivy Leaguer drafted in the first round in the NFL.
Bill Clinton
No Shit.
Donald Trump
And he's, He's. He's a complicated figure. He's not hung up about his wife being the president. He's proud of him.
Bill Clinton
Would you have been that as good as our guy? You know, I don't know on that side? I think so. Yeah.
Jordan Klopper
You would have. You would have been better there. Yes.
Bill Clinton
Since I know Hillary, he would have been. He would have been a good guy.
Donald Trump
The best qualified person in my life. But what we presented that's accurate is he did want something to do that was his own thing, and he thought he could revive President Kennedy's Physical Fitness Council.
Jordan Klopper
Right.
Bill Clinton
And also maybe murdering someone.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah. You're sort of burying the lead there.
Donald Trump
Well, the murder thing comes up, but we're talking about right now.
Jordan Klopper
Oh, you always want to talk about the murder thing, James.
Bill Clinton
Yeah, well, to piece of hook.
Jordan Klopper
But you want to talk about. You're inside the mind of the character here.
Donald Trump
Yeah. But my point is the White House staff doesn't know about the murder thing in the beginning. They don't know he's under any kind of clout. And immediately there are people who don't want him to do that. So that's a very typical thing. In White Houses, all White Houses, there are people who think that if anybody else gets any credit for anything, it will diminish the president. And I never saw it that way.
Jordan Klopper
Right.
Donald Trump
When I was president, when I was a governor before, I figured if I pointed somebody to an important job and they did a good job, that helped me, not hurt me. And I could never figure out. I don't. But it's kind of a deal in Washington, and it's not confined to one party. That one thing. It's. So you see that in our book, you can figure.
Bill Clinton
I have to agree with Marjorie Taylor Greene on this one thing.
Jordan Klopper
She's getting a surprising amount of love on today's show.
Bill Clinton
The fun thing, the fun part of it. It is a fun read.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah.
Bill Clinton
And we do need a little break, honestly, I think. Well, you need a break. Right.
Jordan Klopper
If you want to take a step away from all the chaos of the. Read a story about a potential homicide and relax a little bit.
Bill Clinton
Exactly.
Jordan Klopper
I guess it's curious even hearing you guys talk about this. Like, I'm curious about where the genesis for some of these ideas are. Clearly, President Clinton, you come to this book with some ideas about what it feels like to be in the White House, some of the push and pull, the dynamics that exist within politics at that level. And James, you come into this, I'm sure Is it murder first? Is it story first? Is it plot first?
Bill Clinton
It's always character first.
Jordan Klopper
It's always character first.
Bill Clinton
But interestingly, with this book, and we agreed on it about halfway through, it wasn't working, really. And this. That's never happened with us before. And he called up and he said, I don't like any of the characters. And I said, I agree. I don't either.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah.
Bill Clinton
So we had to really go back and work on the character. Agree. But it's all character for me.
Jordan Klopper
It's all character.
Bill Clinton
Alex Cross. It's all character. He's intent. You know, he. We all have to deal with our balancing. Not all of us, but family and then work. That's what Alex has to do. He's this detective and, you know, it's obviously over the top detective work. Then he's got to go home. And that's the series. It's on Amazon. He's balancing those two things.
Jordan Klopper
Do you struggle with the fact of, like, writing empathetic characters in the White House? Looking at the White House now, wondering, are there any empathetic characters in the White House? Like how.
Donald Trump
We always agree on trying to do an outline, and then sometimes we try, and then sometimes the plot takes us away. This is the third book we've done together, and so far we agree on the outline. Then he gives me a list of 20 questions or more to answer to make sure that we're being authentic. That we're being authentic.
Bill Clinton
Yeah. I mean, that's a key thing. I mean, I just make up stuff in my regular books, but with this, I have to pass the test of, well, that would never happen, or here's how it would happen, or here's what the Secret Service would do.
Jordan Klopper
You put a quiz himself.
Bill Clinton
It's a good discipline. And he'll be fixing stuff.
Jordan Klopper
What parts. You've done three books now. What your view of the presidency before you started writing these films. What did you get wrong initially?
Bill Clinton
Everything. Now, you know, the thing that. And we tried to do before about just humanizing. I mean, unfortunately, we've gotten into a habit of demonizing everybody. And I know the show doesn't. And it. It's a lot of fun and it's funny, but ideally.
Jordan Klopper
Cool, cool, cool, cool, cool. Let me give you a quick. You write about murder, man.
Bill Clinton
Yeah, but. But the. There's only one. There may or may not be one murder in this. In this book. But everybody else we need. Needed to make him human. And the thing. Let me give you a quick thing on this past summer, the President called the house and. And my wife sue was on and he said, let me show you. Put it on picturephone. And there he was with his grandkids and he's in a tiger suit and only his face is showing. Human being. We need to do more of that, I think.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah.
Bill Clinton
Human being. Human being. I don't know how we would do it with certain characters, but, you know, because I don't know who that would be.
Jordan Klopper
You think that humanizes the President? Suddenly saying that he's wearing a tiger suit at home? I think that makes me worry about the President. Really?
Bill Clinton
Well, no.
Jordan Klopper
Are you okay? President Clinton, can you help with wardrobe at home?
Donald Trump
My grandkids thought it was great.
Bill Clinton
If you're doing it with, if you're doing it with a four year old, it's okay. You're doing it with your girlfriend. It's a little weird. Not him.
Jordan Klopper
No judgment, man. No judgment.
Bill Clinton
Good point. Good point.
Jordan Klopper
Do you know when this book is going to be banned by the Trump administration?
Donald Trump
I was actually trying to think if there's some reason they could think of to ban it.
Bill Clinton
They don't need it wouldn't be the White House. But in certain counties, they may, all of a sudden, they don't need a reason. They just go in. One person goes in. I don't like the book. Okay, we'll ban it. So probably be banned in a couple of counties.
Donald Trump
I don't like it. It's a bad deal. When Maya Angelou, who read the inaugural poem at my first inauguration, wrote it and read it and was a great human being, the first thing the White House did was to ban her book. I know why the Caged Bird sings at the Naval Academy library and the Military Academy library at West Point, and I can't figure out why. It's a magnificent book about a little girl who's abandoned by her parents and lives with her grandparents. And until she's three or four years old and her brother, then she has to go somewhere else. And while she's a child, she loses the ability to speak for a couple of years because she was abused. And then she blooms. I couldn't figure out why that was a problem.
Bill Clinton
So many mysteries these days.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah. Do you think it's the blooming portion of it all? Anything to do with seeing empathy for it? A small young black child perhaps had a little something to do with it.
Donald Trump
And she turned out to be about 6ft tall and no longer small, you.
Jordan Klopper
Know, so you think it was height? Height was the issue. Yeah. Trump. Trump is a very petty man, he's like, oh, all the books with characters over five will let him get out of here.
Donald Trump
She was a very large woman with a very deep voice and a massive talent and a great heart. And so I took a very dim view of that. We were friends. I spoke at her funeral. I didn't like it. I don't like book banning.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah.
Donald Trump
And I wasn't ever for banning books that were full of things they said about me that weren't true. It never occurred to me that I should stop you from reading them.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah.
Donald Trump
Sure I did.
Jordan Klopper
You're going to have some regrets looking back on what you could have done, I'm sure. Yeah. It's interesting in this book. Another portion of this book is that the President is going after a grand bargain, which is a big, audacious bargain. I'm curious where that came in the writing process. And in some ways, would this have been Clinton 3.0? Was this sort of an agenda that you could see for America today and follow up? Why wasn't invading Greenland a part of that?
Bill Clinton
Well, we took that part out. We didn't think it was credible.
Donald Trump
I like Greenland.
Bill Clinton
I wrote it in and he took it out.
Jordan Klopper
This is how it starts. This is how it begins.
Donald Trump
Greenland does have a lot of rare earths and minerals that we might need someday. Denmark is a NATO allies of ours. Instead of stealing it from them, we ought to just make a deal and have a contract like normal people do. But this grand bargain is. We got problems of our own making, and part of them the massive debt we have, which is about. It's over 100% of our annual income. Now, a lot of it was unavoidable because of the. We had the financial crash in 2008, and then the COVID problem only 12 years later. So when interest rates go down below inflation and stay there, if you raise taxes or you do other things to tighten the economy, you'll just make it worse. So in those narrow instances, we had to spend more money than we were taking in to get any kind of economic activity. But you can't do it forever. And so we need to stop that now. And therefore, I think this latest budget sent to Congress by the administration was a mistake because it's going to make it worse. It's like saying, okay, the economy is doing fine now. We have relatively low unemployment, we have relatively low inflation, and it's getting better, and let's make it worse now and have a huge increase. I don't think it makes sense, and I think we'll regret it.
Jordan Klopper
I mean, I think some of the critique right now is that Republicans seem to be the party that wants to be fiscally responsible, but they get in power and they, they don't act on that. Do you believe it's insincere?
Donald Trump
Yeah, it's all rhetoric. We double the debt when President Reagan was in office. We'd been a country for a long time by 1980, and we doubled the debt in eight years, and then we increased it by another 50% under President Bush. And he tried to do something about it. He signed a budget passed by the Congress under the leadership of the committee chair, Leon Panetta, who later became my chief of staff and President Obama's CIA chief. Then after the second President Bush got elected, first thing he did was to pass a big tax cut again. And he had a little bit of a recession to deal with, six months or something. So if he had said, let's do this for a year so I can avoid a recession or minimize it, I would have supported it. But he wanted to make it permanent. And that's their, it's almost theology with them. There's no such thing as a bad tax cut unless it helps poor people.
Bill Clinton
But in the book, there is a solution that's proposed by the President. And what we do which is appropriate for a suspense novel. We kind of build up suspense about what is it until the very end of the book.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah, yeah.
Bill Clinton
Which is appropriate, I think in this case.
Donald Trump
I figured, look, it's a book. I mean, it's a mystery. So we couldn't write a 30 page thing. But I tried to give an outline.
Jordan Klopper
Was that the initial pitch of like, and the last 30 pages is sort of an outline for the plan for economic stability. Like, let's keep it to two.
Bill Clinton
Not two, not two, but yeah, not 30.
Donald Trump
I tried to show that you couldn't make a difference. You could make a change.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah.
Donald Trump
And we went through these two deep holes. So I don't expect anybody to be able to solve this in four years. I didn't expect President Trump to be able to. But you, you got to follow the first rule first. If you're in a hole, stop digging. I was hoping there would be a balance program to get us out. And that's what all this doge was sold as. But if you look at everything that Mr. Musk was working on before he went back to selling Teslas, they all of it together is a tiny slice of our budget. Most of our budget goes to health care, Social Security, Medicaid, Medicare, Veterans Health, Defense, and the slice that he's got is not very big. You can't possibly solve a problem this big with a budget. That's this, and it's our future budget. If you ask yourself, why is America leading the world now? It's because of our lead in technology and in biomedical research especially, and lots of other areas. So that's what they want to cut. It's a mistake. It's. You don't. This is like. I love watching this, the NBA Finals. These teams have been great.
Jordan Klopper
What are you rooting for? Are you OKC guy? Well, Pacers fan, Knicks initially. Right.
Donald Trump
I like them both.
Jordan Klopper
Still the politician.
Donald Trump
I was with Oklahoma City when it was bombed, and I've been with them ever since because of what they did with what they suffered. It's an unrecognizable place today because they work together. And they had an ethic, as they said, of kindness and hard work. And it's work. But I was not prepared for how good Indiana was. I mean, it's fun watching them. So, you know, I went in with for Oklahoma City, and I haven't stopped liking them. But I, I. It's amazing the courage that Indiana has showed every time that they're playing.
Jordan Klopper
Like, if only our politics could get back to the legitimacy of NBA basketball, where we could love one thing but understand what the other team brings to it.
Donald Trump
All these people respect each other. You can look at and you don't see these Oklahoma City guys jumping up and down because Tyrese Halberton doesn't make a lot of points because he tore up his right leg. And what did he do? He came back in the second half, didn't score a bunch of points, but he ran the offense, and they did great in the second half.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah.
Donald Trump
So, I mean, you know, it's.
Jordan Klopper
We just need to bring respect back to perhaps the New York Knicks as well. Right. So they may be filling a few of those pieces as well.
Bill Clinton
The Knicks did great.
Jordan Klopper
They did great. We could celebrate that. Right. Speaking of some. This last weekend, there was a little bit of money spent in Washington, D.C. at couple dollars.
Bill Clinton
Yeah.
Jordan Klopper
I think 45 million, last I heard, at this big birthday celebration slash army parade. I was curious if you guys saw that or if President Clinton.
Bill Clinton
You thought about throwing yourself watching when you were interviewing people. People go, oh, we're cutting education. Great. Oh, we're cutting cancer research, Great. What are people, nuts? We're cutting cancer research grade.
Donald Trump
I mean, that's what you interviewed.
Bill Clinton
Stuff like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's. Yeah.
Donald Trump
Go back to natural. We don't eat cancer research.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah. No, it's one of the things that. One of the things I noticed when I was there, there's been a lot.
Bill Clinton
Of that's what they should do with voting. You shouldn't be able to vote. If you're going to say stuff like that. I'm sorry, you can't vote. I'm sorry, you can't vote.
Jordan Klopper
You can't vote. That's. Yeah.
Bill Clinton
Again, against cancer research and no voting.
Jordan Klopper
That's the line. Right. It's 18. And if you're against cancer research, maybe now is not the one for you.
Bill Clinton
And a few other things. Yeah.
Donald Trump
Well, I think the Democrats need to ask themselves how come we can't beat that now? The Supreme Court's going to have to step in this time, it seems like. Because they seem to say last year in two decisions, well, yeah, the president might commit a crime, but as long as he thinks it's the right thing to do, it by definition can't be criminal. Who ever heard of that?
Jordan Klopper
You see what happened this weekend as well with the no kings protest. 5 million people.
Donald Trump
5 million.
Jordan Klopper
5 million people show up. I think there's definitely an energy there. When I talk to a lot of people who are progressive, I think they're frustrated, they're angry. Many are scared. They don't know what the best use of their energy is or where to put that. I think this no Kings show in was one way of, like a show of force. I think when you talk about the flaws, the Democrats unable to put up a defense against people who are anti cancer, like, where should that energy, where should that go?
Donald Trump
First of all, I think. I think Biden had a successful four years. He did a good job, I think, but we didn't have enough of a campaign on the back end. And I think it's a little unfair to say it was Kamala Harris fault because she didn't ask for the circumstances which were visited on her. So now we've got what they have to do. The people in Washington is they do need to show what's wrong with this budget and do their best to beat it or get changes in it and keep going. But it's not an election yet, and I think we need other people to come up with ideas. That's why we wrote the book the way we did. Partly just to say, you can be a Republican or a Democrat and be for this. This makes common sense. And we've gotten too far away from that. We're so interested in demeaning and debasing and name calling. And President Trump's been richly rewarded for that, for being able to just divide and distract people.
Bill Clinton
I learned early on, in terms of life lessons, that skepticism is absolutely healthy and terrific and cynicism is poison.
Jordan Klopper
Yeah, but what do you say to the young person who sees what's happening in Los Angeles and sees people standing up upset about their neighbors being deported and suddenly the National Guard being brought in?
Bill Clinton
Protest and vote.
Jordan Klopper
Protest and vote.
Bill Clinton
Do things, though, don't talk about it.
Donald Trump
Look like, you know, a lot of the lawyers talk to me about the Supreme Court decisions, which seem to say that once you're president, you can. You can't break the law. You just do whatever you think is right. And if it's against the law, you just say you thought it was the right thing to do. And I thought, well, there's an easy way to fix it. They said, what do you mean? The Supreme Court's 6 to 3 for them, maybe 5 to 4. And I always say, if you elect a Democrat president, they will have an epiphany, and all of a sudden they'll rediscover the separation of powers and the things that. And constitutional rights and all this stuff. It'll change again. We. Look, we are the longest consistently lasting democracy in history. We're not the oldest country in history, but we are the oldest democracy. Democracy. And Dwight Eisenhower, a Republican, said after he went through that mess with Joe McCarthy, he was very worried about whether we would have the mental discipline to sustain our democracy when all this happened. And today it may look so. And AI scares people. Everybody's scared of something. But I'm just telling you, we're about to celebrate our 250th birthday. And so far, everybody that's bet against this country has lost money. So far, we have saved it. But citizens can't sit around and whine. They got to get off the bench and play the game. And if you don't like who's being elected and you don't like what, what they're doing, you've got to get out there and fight for it. And one of the things that we try to do in this book is to make people see that. We try to make them see democracy as.
Bill Clinton
And also a big thing about this book are the two journalists and who really are trying to find it, find out the truth. And I think there are a lot of good journalists who do that. And we're forgetting about that. And we go. People are going online for journalism that's written by fiction writers just making stuff Up. That doesn't work.
Jordan Klopper
Not a lot of satirical comedians in this book, I notice.
Bill Clinton
What?
Jordan Klopper
Yeah. Surprising you didn't have more heroic satirical comedians.
Bill Clinton
That's the next book.
Jordan Klopper
That could be the next book. Before I let you guys go.
Donald Trump
Clapromaniac.
Jordan Klopper
I like this. That's gonna sell. That'll definitely sell. Can I maybe get in on some of the royalties writing a book like that with you guys?
Donald Trump
Next book.
Bill Clinton
Guess we won't do that one.
Jordan Klopper
Before I let you guys go, I do want. I want to get your thoughts on what's happening in the news today. I think we covered this in the first act, talking about Iran. You've sat at the table, you've tried to negotiate peace in the Middle east, and we have Donald Trump talking about whether he's somebody who's going to summon that, bring that forth. There's a lot of questions as what the next steps are going to be. I think as somebody who sits and watches that, who's been in similar positions, like, what do you hope for? What advice do you have?
Donald Trump
First of all, they're not talking about negotiating peace in the Middle east because the Israelis have no intention of, under President Prime Minister Netanyahu, giving the Palestinians a state. And now they're too divided and crushed to organize themselves to achieve it so. And President Trump apparently agrees with that, that they shouldn't have a state, but you don't want a disaster either. And Mr. Netanyahu has long wanted to fight Iran because that way he can stay in office forever and ever. He's been there most of the last 20 years, but I think we should be trying to defuse it. And I hope President Trump will do that. I hope anybody there will do that. We've got to stop. We got to convince our friends in the Middle east that we'll stand with them and try to protect them. But choosing undeclared wars in which the primary victims are civilians who are not politically involved one way or the other, just want to live decent lives, is not a very good solution. Do I think that we have to try to stop Iran from having a nuclear weapon? I do. I tried at that, and we had some success. But we don't have to have all this outright constant killing of civilians who can't defend themselves, and they just want a chance to live.
Jordan Klopper
As successful authors with the book number two on the New York Times bestsellers list.
Bill Clinton
It wasn't my first wish, but it was my second wish.
Jordan Klopper
It's still a very good wish. I'm curious, as authors, can you tell me. Do you guys know how the American story will end?
Bill Clinton
It's not going to end. Not in our lifetime.
Jordan Klopper
You're all about sequels, huh?
Bill Clinton
Yeah, Lee, I'm telling you.
Donald Trump
The people in this audience you think about, about this, if everybody in this country who's worried about it would just start talking to their neighbors and generating interest. These 5 million people at the no Kings rallies, they're a pretty good canary in the coal line.
Bill Clinton
Yeah, I suspect this summer is going to be interesting. I think there'll be a lot of people on the streets trying to express their Just don't give up.
Donald Trump
Keep fighting. You got to. But I'm telling you, President Trump, whatever you think of the previous campaigns, did win that last election. And he has a right to govern and try to do what he thinks is right. And those of us who don't agree with him have a right to say, we don't agree. And here's why. And you just need to fight. You can win this fight if you'll stay at it.
Jordan Klopper
The First Gentleman is available now. President Clinton and James Patterson. We're going to take a quick break. We'll be right back after this. That's our show for tonight. Now, here it is. The moment is end. The Guardian newspaper reported that pizza deliveries to the Pentagon surged right before the US invasion of Panama in 1989 and Operation Desert Storm in 1991. Of course, all of this is on a need to know basis. That's need with a K. Stu. Oh, you had to go there, didn't you, actually.
Bill Clinton
Oh, you did.
Jordan Klopper
I did. You did it. I had. You had to.
Bill Clinton
Yeah.
Jordan Klopper
You just have to explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount. Plus, this has been a Comedy Central podcast. This is an I Heart podcast.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Episode: Trump Threatens Iran, Klepper Goes to Birthday Parade | Bill Clinton & James Patterson
Release Date: June 18, 2025
Host: Jordan Klopper
Guests: Former President Bill Clinton and Author James Patterson
The episode kicks off with Jordan Klopper welcoming listeners to "Daily Trump," setting the stage for a night filled with high-stakes political drama and celebrity insights. The host outlines the main topics: Donald Trump's abrupt departure from the G7 summit, a monumental birthday parade in Washington D.C., and an exclusive interview with former President Bill Clinton and bestselling author James Patterson.
Trump's Appearance at the G7 Summit: Jordan Klopper recounts Trump's initial confident arrival at the G7 summit, comparing his stance to a "contestant on the Golden Bachelorette" (00:00). Trump’s presence was meant to demonstrate his ability to stabilize the global economy, which he nearly achieved.
Significant Quotes:
Abrupt Departure: Trump unexpectedly cut his trip short to return to the White House, sparking speculation about his motives.
Discussion on Iran: Klopper delves into Trump's intentions—whether he's aiming to negotiate peace or escalate the conflict. Trump's ambiguous stance leaves listeners questioning his true objectives.
Notable Exchange:
Pentagon Pizza Report: Klopper introduces the quirky "Pentagon Pizza Report," highlighting a surge in pizza deliveries to the Pentagon before significant military operations, hinting at impending conflict.
Guest Insight: Michael Kosta provides a satirical take on the situation, suggesting an exaggerated linkage between pizza orders and the likelihood of war.
Notable Quotes:
Event Overview: Klopper attends the extravagant 250th birthday celebration of the U.S. Army and Donald Trump's 79th birthday, costing around $45 million. The event features military displays, including tanks, helicopters, and "killer robot dogs."
Trump’s Speech:
Humorous Commentary: Klopper humorously critiques the dual focus on military might and Trump's birthday, questioning the true intent behind the parade.
Notable Exchange:
Introduction to Guests: Post-parade, Klopper introduces Bill Clinton and James Patterson, discussing their collaborative work on the political thriller "The First Gentleman."
Book Discussion: The trio delves into the creation of the novel, exploring the complexities of portraying a First Gentleman accused of murder. They emphasize the importance of character development over plot.
Notable Quotes:
Behind the Scenes: Clinton and Patterson discuss the challenges of writing authentic political narratives, including maintaining realism while crafting a suspenseful story.
Humorous Interlude: Trump interjects with tongue-in-cheek remarks about book banning and wardrobe choices, adding a comedic twist to the serious discussion.
Political Commentary: The conversation shifts to current political climates, including debates on fiscal responsibility, military actions, and the role of the Supreme Court.
Economic Policies: Trump critiques the administration's budget, highlighting concerns over national debt and economic strategies.
Notable Exchange:
Democracy and Civic Engagement: Clinton and Trump discuss the state of American democracy, emphasizing the need for active participation and skepticism over cynicism.
Writing and Democracy: Bill Clinton notes, "We need to do more of that," referring to humanizing narratives in politics, while emphasizing the importance of truthful journalism.
Future of the Presidency: The guests share their visions for the future, blending personal anecdotes with broader societal observations.
Final Insights: As the episode wraps up, the trio reflects on the enduring nature of American democracy and the collective responsibility to uphold its values.
Humorous Sign-Off: Klopper closes with a satirical nod to the earlier "Pentagon Pizza Report," leaving listeners with a laugh and a reminder to stay engaged.
Notable Quote:
This episode of "The Daily Show: Ears Edition" masterfully intertwines political satire with serious discourse, offering listeners a comprehensive look at current events through the lens of humor and insightful conversation. From Trump's geopolitical maneuvers to the creative process behind a political thriller, Klopper ensures that each segment is both entertaining and thought-provoking. The inclusion of notable quotes with timestamps provides depth, making the summary a valuable companion for those who seek to grasp the episode's essence without tuning in.