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Jordan Klepper
You're listening to Comedy Central.
Desi Lydic
From the.
Michael Kosta
Most trusted journalists at Comedy Central. It's America's only source for news. This is the Daily show with your host, Jordan Clubber.
Trevor Noah
Welcome to Dan's job. Jordan, we got so much to talk about tonight. Biden says bye. Pundits have some explaining to do. And a war breaks out over who ended the war. So let's get into headlines. Let's kick things off with Donald Trump. Today was a big day for the once and future president. Picture day. He took the official photo that will be hanging up in DMV's and airports all over the country. So what Sonny Face will be staring at for the next four years. Ho, ho, ho, ho, man, man. You know what the wild thing is? This was the. Now let's do a silly one. There's also another person who's taking his photos down from the White House. Joe Biden. A lot of people are worried about a second Trump presidency. So last night's farewell address was a chance for the president to offer the nation some comfort.
Desi Lydic
President Biden, in his final farewell address from the Oval Office, delivered a stunning warning to the nation on his way out.
Kamala Harris
The potential rise of a tech industrial complex. That could pose real dangers. An oligarchy is taking shape in America of extreme wealth, power and influence that literally threatens our entire democracy.
Trevor Noah
Okay, yeah, thanks for the encouragement, Mr. President. I'm shitting my pants in comfort. Look, I know you've only got a few days left, but don't just give us problems. Maybe offer some solutions. You know, there's a dangerous threat of oligarchy from a rich elite. And that's why I'm pardoning Luigi Mangione. Go get him, tiger. Spitballing. There's spitballing here. Yes. Biden used his last speech as president to warn us about a new American oligarchy. And you can tell the message hit home because of how many people. And this is true, how many people immediately went to Google to search what is oligarchy? And weirdly, Google responded. Don't worry about it. It turns out you don't need to Google oligarchy to understand what it actually looks like. Just tune in to the inauguration this Monday. NBC News is now reporting that Elon.
Jordan Klepper
Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg will.
Michael Kosta
All three attend Donald Trump's inauguration next week.
Desi Lydic
The CEOs of Apple and Google will be there. Sam Altman from OpenAI TikTok CEO SHO2.
Trevor Noah
He was invited to sit on the dais where former presidents and family traditionally sit Whoo. That is right. Facebook's at the inauguration. Google, Amazon. The CEO of Zoom will be there. Wearing a suit, top, short bottoms. CEO of Uber will be there in two minutes, maybe five minutes. You know what? They're looking for a new CEO. Even the CEO of Vine will be there. I mean, he'll be panhandling outside, but he'll be near, near there. The inauguration guest list can't just be billionaires who get off reading your DMs. There has to be more. Who else is Trump inviting to watch him take the oath of office?
Kamala Harris
Performing at Trump's inauguration will be familiar.
Trevor Noah
Names from his campaign, including Kid Rock, Lee Greenwood, and the Village People.
Desi Lydic
First responders from Butler County, Pennsylvania, where Trump survived that first assassination attempt, will march in the parade. And the MAGA garbage truck that went viral during the campaign will reportedly hit the Streets of Washington, D.C. during the inauguration Day parade.
Jordan Klepper
Whoa.
Trevor Noah
Trump's bringing back all the characters from the campaign. Like, it's the Seinfeld finale. We're gonna be watching from home. Like, look, it's the cats and dogs from Springfield, and they're wearing Trump's ear bandage. I mean, they're even bringing the garbage truck. He used it as a prop in one campaign stunt. And now it's going to be in the parade. I mean, it's not even going to drive itself. It's gonna ride in the back of a limo. I mean, now that this garbage truck is a MAGA celebrity, the sky is the limit. It's gonna get its own right wing podcast, join the White House staff, then every Trump sycophant is gonna start sucking up to it. Then finally, reporters will catch the truck getting a handjob from Kimberly Guilfoyle in the Rose Garden. Tale as old as time. But I will say this inauguration list must be so embarrassing for anyone who didn't get an invite. I mean, Sean Spicer's gonna be like, does anyone know if the garbage truck has a plus one? You know what? Let's move on. Because while the new presidency is about to begin, there's a frenzy of activity happening at the end of the current presidency. Yesterday, President Biden announced a breakthrough in the war in the Middle East. Phase one of a ceasefire between Israel and Hamas. And what I found really uplifting is that we finally sealed the deal. New reporting this morning that there was extraordinary cooperation between the outgoing and incoming administrations.
Desi Lydic
The New York Times reports there was coordination between both presidential teams and that each directed their advisors to work together to push Israel and Hamas over the finish line.
Trevor Noah
Look at this. Look at this. You see this? This is truly inspiring. Two administrations, two rivals, working together to make the world a better place. Focusing on what's important, creating peace in the world, not petty fights over who gets the credit.
Desi Lydic
Does this deal belong to Biden or Trump? Who do you give credit to?
Jordan Klepper
It could not have happened without Trump.
Trevor Noah
This is President Biden's negotiation.
Michael Kosta
If Donald Trump wasn't elected in November, none of this would have been happening.
Trevor Noah
This credit goes to Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Not 100%. That's not fair, people.
Jordan Klepper
Come on.
Trevor Noah
What is all this arguing about? There's enough credit for everyone who deserves it. The presidents, the diplomats, and most importantly, everyone who changed their profile pics. You're welcome. What else do you expect from the media? Stirring up drama is their thing. I'm sure the two statesmen at the heart of the negotiations are content to share the credit.
Desi Lydic
President Elect Trump wasted no time angling for credit on the ceasefire deal we've been talking about this morning, posting on his social media site that, quote, this epic ceasefire agreement could have only happened as a result of our historic victory in November.
Jordan Klepper
How much credit do you give to.
Desi Lydic
The Trump team for this deal?
Trevor Noah
Trump is already taking credit for it.
Kamala Harris
Well, you know, this is the exact framework of the deal I proposed back in May.
Trevor Noah
Exact. First off, Joe, I don't think that's the brag you think it is. Everyone's been ignoring this thing since May. Then something happened. I don't know. Donald, can you just throw this man a bone, please? Haven't you done enough to poor Joe? You took his second term, you took his legacy, you took his wife to go see baby girl together. Can't you just share a little credit with him? But, guys, a little perspective here. The important thing isn't who gets credit. The important thing is that after over a year of war, we finally have a ceasefire. A new wrinkle in the hostage ceasefire deal. Israel's war cabinet a short time ago delayed a vote to officially ratify the.
Jordan Klepper
Deal because they say Hamas has reneged on some parts of the agreement.
Trevor Noah
Like I said, the important thing is we thought about having a ceasefire. And what a fun couple of hours it was. For more analysis on the ceasefire deal, we turn to Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta. Michael, I want to start with you. Michael. Michael, isn't it counterproductive to be debating credit and picking sides?
Michael Kosta
It sure is, Jordan, because all the credit belongs to Donald Trump. He gets the credit. Give him all the piece points. He's an unhinged madman who threatened to unleash hell. It goes to show that completely over the top threats work. You don't believe me? I'll annihilate you. I hate my life and I've got nothing to lose.
Desi Lydic
Michael, you've got plenty to lose, including this argument, because this was all Biden. Trump's just a little kid thinking he opened the pickle jar when Joe Biden had been loosening it for months. Give him the peace points. Seven piece points for Joe Biden.
Trevor Noah
Okay, guys, what the hell are peace points?
Michael Kosta
It's the points you get for peace, and they go to Donald Trump. He's basically the president now.
Desi Lydic
The president now is Joe Biden. This was all Joe Biden.
Trevor Noah
Hold on, I'm getting some breaking news. It sounds like the deal may be falling apart.
Desi Lydic
Like I was saying, this was all Donald Trump. He's basically the president now.
Michael Kosta
You're flip flopping.
Trevor Noah
So you maintain that this was Trump's deal?
Michael Kosta
Costa, Absolutely not. Donald Trump's not even close to being the president. He can't even win peace points yet.
Desi Lydic
But he can lose peace points, and that means he's minus 26.
Trevor Noah
What the are peace points?
Desi Lydic
Think about him like a pickle jar.
Michael Kosta
Oh, come on. The entire deal is because of Joe Biden.
Trevor Noah
Wait, hold on, hold on, hold on. I'm getting word the deal might be.
Michael Kosta
Back on Joe Biden's replacement, Donald Trump. You did it, big guy. Congrats.
Desi Lydic
Oh, my God, you're pathetic, Costa. Joe Biden did this. Hold on, I'm just getting an alert. Just want to make sure it's not about the deal. Oh, okay. It's fine. My kid's just missing anyway. Joe Biden did Middle East, Keith.
Trevor Noah
Guys, guys, can't there be a compromise here? Like, for the sake of unity? Surely you can come to an agreement on sharing the credit.
Desi Lydic
I guess we could split the credit. In phase one, Biden gets the credit until Trump takes over.
Trevor Noah
Right?
Michael Kosta
Then in phase two, Trump takes the credit for six weeks.
Desi Lydic
And then if the peace holds in phase three, both sides will coexist peacefully, sharing the credit, each of them both getting four peace points.
Trevor Noah
I mean, I still have no idea what peace points are, but the fact you guys achieved this agreement is historic. Well done.
Michael Kosta
Thank you. It was my idea.
Desi Lydic
No, I get the credit. Remember the pickle analogy? I loosened the deal.
Michael Kosta
It's my credit. If you talk about pickles one more time, I will kill you. I hate my life. I have nothing to lose.
Trevor Noah
All right, we'll have to go Back to the negotiating table. Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta, everyone. When we come back, we'll find out why Kamala didn't win the election. Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. Before the election, we sent Grace Kuhlenschmidt to ask election analysts who they predicted would win the presidential race. Now, two months later, she followed up with some of those predictions.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Last time I was in Washington, D.C. was just two months ago, which feels like a lifetime. I was so young and naive, looking for answers. What is your prediction for this election? 2024. And Alan Lichtman gave them to me.
Kamala Harris
Kamala Harris will become the first woman president.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
But Alan Lichtman was wrong.
Trevor Noah
Donald Trump has been elected president.
Jordan Klepper
Can you just admit that you got it wrong with your foolish little equation? You got it wrong, Alan.
Kamala Harris
You live in a total world of denial. You got it wrong. You were preposterously and stupidly wrong.
Trevor Noah
Al.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
I seriously trusted you. Well, no, no, it's not your time to talk yet. I seriously trusted you, and I thought that what you told me was the truth.
Kamala Harris
I was being honest with you.
Jordan Klepper
You weren't. You weren't, Alan.
Kamala Harris
It was a prediction, not a fact. And I told you I'm a human being, right?
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
You didn't tell me that you were a human being and that you might be not.
Kamala Harris
I certainly didn't mean to hurt anyone. I'm not psychic. My predictions are based on history. And this year, which you know is the craziest year ever, the pattern of history was broken. That can happen.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Did you even notice I got a haircut?
Kamala Harris
Actually did, and it looks great.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
I agree. It really frames my face. If only Alan's political judgment was as good as his taste in haircuts. But it wasn't, and I needed to know why. What are some of your excuses?
Kamala Harris
I definitely think I was thrown off by pushing Biden out. We've never seen a sitting president, the elected nominee, forced out. So that leads me to perhaps reevaluate my call on the contest key.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
See, yeah, I knew that was stupid and I was gonna tell you, but I didn't want a woman's plane.
Kamala Harris
The broader point is I do think Harris, race and gender played a role here. There are deep strains within this country of misogyny, racism, xenophobia.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
I wish you had told me that the first time. Could have maybe put thrown that in there. And to be fair, Alan wasn't the only thought leader who got this prediction wrong. Have you talked to Charlie XCX about this or Anything?
Kamala Harris
Talked to who?
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Charli xcx.
Kamala Harris
Maybe I'm not hearing you right.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Charli xcx.
Kamala Harris
Charlie xcs. I don't know who that is.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Yeah, she said that Kamala is brat. And it just. At this point, I'm kind of thinking perhaps Trump was more brat.
Kamala Harris
Oh, okay.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Yeah. But you and her have not spoken.
Kamala Harris
We have not spoken.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
I was secretly glad they hadn't spoken because that would make me crazy jealous, which is an issue I'd been working on with my therapist. But did Alan have any regrets of his own? Are you thinking, why did I ever get into politics? Why didn't I, you know, just stick to modeling or something?
Kamala Harris
This is one prediction in over 40 years. I was listed as number 85 of the world's hundred leading geopolitical experts. But people think, oh, he made a wrong prediction and that invalidates him as a person. It's crazy.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
I one time was in an Uber and there was an iPad on the back of the seat, and it said, what sound does a dog make? And bark was right there. I clicked moo. But lucky for me, it's not my job. And so it really had no impact on my life.
Kamala Harris
I'd like to say one more thing, please. Yes. We shouldn't just write off an era. We can learn a lot about our politics and our society from analyzing the mistake.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
Wow.
Jordan Klepper
Yeah.
Kamala Harris
If you can't learn from your mistakes, then you're in big trouble.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
You know what, Alan? I forgive you. And I hope that we're back here in four years.
Kamala Harris
I hope so.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
And I hope, I hope you're right that time.
Kamala Harris
The great Benjamin Disraeli, the former late Prime Minister of England, once said, finality is not a word we use in politics.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
I think Charlie Exiac said that.
Trevor Noah
What's that?
Grace Kuhlenschmidt
I think Charlie X cx.
Kamala Harris
Every time you say that, I kind of go watch. It's not a name that rings any bells with me.
Trevor Noah
Thank you, Grace. We come back. Democratic Representative Tom SUY will be joining me on the show. Don't go away. Welcome back to the Daily Show. My guest tonight is a Democrat who represents New York 3rd congressional district. Please welcome U.S. representative Tom Suozzi. A lot of swazi heads here tonight, huh? Yeah, they're into it.
Jordan Klepper
They're here for Klepper, not for Suozzi.
Trevor Noah
I didn't want to say it. I think we share the love that is here. You got a lot on your plates, Congressman.
Jordan Klepper
Lot going on.
Trevor Noah
There's a lot going on right now I want to talk to you about. We Obviously, Monday is the inauguration. You wrote a big.
Jordan Klepper
Oh, my gosh. Yeah.
Trevor Noah
Do you have it in your calendar?
Jordan Klepper
Yes. Yeah, I'll be there.
Trevor Noah
Yeah. You're not going to storm the Capitol before then? No, no, no.
Jordan Klepper
They did that already.
Trevor Noah
Did the Democrats meet together?
Jordan Klepper
Yeah.
Trevor Noah
Did you guys meet together and discuss whether we're. Yay. And Nan. Trying to stop the proceedings?
Jordan Klepper
We'll be there. We'll be there. We can't stop it.
Trevor Noah
You can't stop the proceedings? No. Well, maybe if you worked a little harder during the election, you could have. I'm just spitballing here.
Jordan Klepper
Just rub it in, Jordan. Rub it in.
Trevor Noah
Well, here, I'm curious. You wrote an op ed a few weeks ago talking about how Democrats should move forward in this new era of Trump. Essentially, Democrats should meet Trump halfway rather than be a party of. And for you, I'm curious, Does that mean 7.5 million deportations instead of 15 million deportations? How does one meet the Republicans halfway?
Jordan Klepper
Well, you've got to resist when it's appropriate. You know, like when he was president before, we resisted. I resisted. When he wanted to get rid of the Affordable Care act, you have to resist. When he wants to deport the dreamers. Now, if he wants to weaponize the doj, you have to resist. If he wants to get rid of the climate stuff we've done, you got to resist. So there's things you have to resist on. But the people want us to work together to try and solve problems, and we've tried all the stuff of just tearing him down as much as we can, and didn't work. He won. And now people want us to work together to address the border, to address cost of living and inflation, to address the things that really happen in their lives.
Trevor Noah
I mean, people do want things to get done right. But in 2016, it felt like the Democrats angle was to be a party of. No. To be obstructionist. And they won the midterms. There was success after that. Joe Biden was the next president. Is that a winning strategy? It felt like being obstructionist, being resisty. If not, if not leading to electoral victory. This past election had some successes in 2016, 2018.
Jordan Klepper
Well, let me just first make a prediction. Okay, The Democrats are Gonna win in 2024.
Trevor Noah
But in 2024.
Jordan Klepper
2020. What year would I say?
Trevor Noah
You said 2024.
Jordan Klepper
What year are we in now?
Trevor Noah
Aren't we in 2025?
Jordan Klepper
Why did you guys clap for that?
Trevor Noah
Yeah, well, maybe I was testing.
Jordan Klepper
You guys failed completely. 2026.
Trevor Noah
Yeah. Yeah, let's Start with math and then work towards 2026.
Jordan Klepper
The math major.
Trevor Noah
I was a math major. What am I going to say? I know what is in the past and what is in the future.
Jordan Klepper
Right? Okay.
Trevor Noah
So you think 2026.
Jordan Klepper
2026, we're going to win.
Trevor Noah
Okay.
Jordan Klepper
And I think that people. Let's try that again in 2026. We're going to win.
Trevor Noah
So, Jimmy, we are not editing. We are leaving that in. Our politicians are fallible. This is what we're learning here with Suozzi. I'm human, you're human.
Jordan Klepper
So the bottom line is that people are really sick. And I talk to people all the time. I mean, that's what you do if you do a good job in elected office, is you talk to people. And people are sick and tired of everybody just fighting with each other all the time. And in this year, let me know the years now. In 2024, in February, I ran a special election to replace George Santos after he got kicked out. Yeah. And you guys remember George Santos, right?
Trevor Noah
America's greatest volleyball player.
Jordan Klepper
So in that race, I talked about the need to secure the border. And a lot of experts came to me and said, tom, what are you doing? Why are you talking about the border? That's a Republican issue. I was like, this is what the people are talking about. They want us to address the border. So we can't say we're against deporting criminals. We have to work to try and secure the border. We need to fix the broken asylum system. We need to also treat people like human beings. We need to give the dreamers a path to legalization. We need to do something about the people you invited here 20 and 30 years ago. What are called the TPS, recipients temporary protective Status. You had an earthquake, you had a flood, you had a civil war. We said, come to America where it's safe. We invited them here. Give them some sort of permanent status. Let's do something. Let's do something. 50. 50% of the farm workers in the United States of America are undocumented. Let's. There have been bipartisan deals over the years to try and do border security, fix the asylum system, deal with the dreamers, TPS and farm workers, Afghan readjustment, healthcare workers. There have been deals, but we couldn't get enough support to get it over the finish line.
Trevor Noah
Mm.
Jordan Klepper
Let's figure out how to build the consensus of people throughout the nation. Business badges and the Bible to try and say, what can we do to get people to work together to actually get these things done? And make our country better.
Trevor Noah
I mean, I think, trying to build consensus. Sure. I mean, today, today you had a vote. Today you voted for the Preventing Violence Against Women by Illegal Aliens Act. This is, this is a bill that was introduced by Representative Nancy Mace.
Jordan Klepper
Right.
Trevor Noah
And you and 140 Dems voted against this, but you and 60 other Dems voted for this.
Jordan Klepper
And part of it is, you know, I actually don't think that's going to get through the Senate.
Trevor Noah
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
But I think that it's part of sending this message that, hey, we're willing to meet you halfway to try and get somebody.
Trevor Noah
Is that message getting across?
Jordan Klepper
It's not going to get done. It just happened, you know, today. I mean.
Trevor Noah
Right. But you're saying this act of goodwill by the Democrats towards the Republicans, that this message will get across. Marjorie Taylor Greene is hearing this.
Jordan Klepper
No, no, she's not gonna hear it.
Trevor Noah
No, this was.
Jordan Klepper
He's a good guy. Come on.
Trevor Noah
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
So the bottom line is the natural inclination of human beings is you take a shot at me, I'm gonna give you a shot back. That's normal human behavior. And the Republicans obstructed Biden every single which way. And that's natural human behavior. The problem is we're not getting stuff done to fix the problems. So it's like when Michelle Obama said, when they go low, we go high. And a lot of people gave her grief for that, for saying that. But in reality, we need to try and reach our hand out and say, let's work together. Let's get some stuff done. If they swat our hands away and say, you know, sucker, you know, like that, then the people will see that.
Trevor Noah
But haven't they been doing that for a year?
Jordan Klepper
Yes.
Trevor Noah
It's all been sucker. They're the party of this.
Jordan Klepper
As your don't fit. As your mom said, two wrongs don't make a right. They don't make a right. And the reality is we have serious problems that exist in our country and we have to figure out how can we get stuff done. At least that's why I'm in public life. That's the reason I do this job. I mean, this is an unusual lifestyle. And it's only worth it if you actually get stuff done to make people's lives better. And I think that right now, I think that right now that's what the American people really want. So, you know, we all know all the bad stuff about Donald Trump. Okay? We know about, you know, inappropriate grabbing, and we know about, you know, January 6th, and we know about Stormy Daniels. And we know about selling Bibles and we know about all the different, you know. Sure. Anyone? Yeah. And so now he's the President of the United States of America come Monday. So we have got to figure out how do we resist when essential, but how do we try to work together to get stuff done when we can?
Trevor Noah
I think, I mean, that is a fine line that people are asking. I know there are people who are more progressive who see this and fear that we're sleepwalking towards autocracy, that suddenly this resist energy is gone. And that if suddenly we normalize this or don't bring it up enough, then we've sort of lost the plot and the goalposts get moved yet another field over. Do you worry about that or.
Jordan Klepper
Yeah, I do worry about it. I'm like every other human being. When you give it to me, I'm going to want to give it back to you. But the reality is we've got to get stuff done to make our country better. We're facing serious threats from China, we're facing serious threats all over the world. Quite frankly, we're facing threats here in America and people want their lives. We've lost our middle class in our country. The minimum wage is still $7.25 an hour in 20 states in the United States of America. People are pissed off. They lost their jobs, they don't have their health insurance, they don't have pensions anymore. They're not making enough money. They go to work every day. If you make $10 an hour and you work 40 hours a week and you work 50 weeks a year, math major, that's $20,000 a year. Okay?
Trevor Noah
Yeah.
Jordan Klepper
If you make $15 an hour, you work 40 hours a week, you work 50 weeks a year, that's $30,000 a year.
Trevor Noah
Now, is that right? Did that all work out?
Jordan Klepper
Yes.
Trevor Noah
I mean, about seven minutes ago you thought the year was 2020. So I'll check that.
Jordan Klepper
Now, the bottom line is everybody in America, whether you're a progressive or a conservative or anybody in between, everybody in America should believe that if I work hard, in return for working hard, I make enough money so I can live a decent life. I can get a house, I can have health insurance, I can educate my children, and I can retire one day without being scared. The problem is that's not happening in our country for too many people. That's why everybody's so pissed off. And that's why Trump found an opening. Cuz he says, oh, I hear you. I realize how bad things are for you now. He's not going to do anything about it. He doesn't support increasing the minimum wage. He doesn't support what's called the pro act to try and have more unions in the United States of America, Child tax credit. We've got to do things. Democrats have to make it clear to people. We're the party for working people. If you work hard, we want you to have a decent life so you can live the American dream. That's what the Americans should. What the Democrats should be talking about to the American people. Not all this other stuff about somebody's personality, what's wrong with them. Talk about issues that will make their lives better.
Trevor Noah
But even. Well, you could. But how do you. I hear you. I feel like you go out here and the American public. When I go and talk to people out in America, yes, they talk about the pocketbook. They care about money. They care about buying houses. But the Republicans are also dictating these conversations. And I know sometimes from a political standpoint, you're getting pulled in these culture wars, but the Democrats aren't necessarily bringing those culture wars up, and they want to stand up for. Here's where I'm curious about. You've been faced with very real bills to pass and what to support, where to throw your name behind. You just voted for stronger regulations at the border. But there was recently, like a week ago, this. What was it? The national ban on transgender girls in women's sports. You voted against that ban. How do you walk this line here?
Jordan Klepper
It's not easy. It's very tough. But the bottom line is that Donald Trump and the Republicans have been master pickpockets. So what do pickpockets do? They work in teams. One person comes up to you and they bump into you. And when you're jostled and you're. Because you get bumped into, the other person picks your pocket. So they use issues like transgender. They spend $200 million on transgender commercials. And the Democrats never responded. While the people are all excited, we got to worry about protecting Social Security and protecting Medicare. So we can't let ourselves be distracted by the. Even the border, to some extent, was an effort to get people all pumped up while they were doing other stuff. The best example is Trump just came out a week ago and he said Panama Canal, Greenland, and changed the Gulf of Mexico to the Gulf of America. Okay, what happened to reducing the price of eggs and gasoline that you said is so easy to do? What happened to ending the Ukrainian war in one day? So he's a master of distraction. And so I recognize that, and I think that the people need to recognize that we can't allow ourselves to be distracted by some of these issues. Now, the Republicans have done a better job, okay? We've got people that are far left on our side. They've got people that are far way right over there. Like you said before, Marjorie Taylor Greene, Lauren Boebert, Matt Gaetz, they did a better job weaponizing our left to say how the Democrats are like that. We didn't do a very effective job saying the Republicans are like that. So you've got to try and navigate this.
Trevor Noah
Like what? Like I feel like so, like people know who, I feel people know who Matt Gaetz is. They don't care. I mean, half the people care, but the other half don't seem to.
Jordan Klepper
The whole Republican Party didn't get painted with Matt Gaetz. And so, for example, in my race, okay, Donald Trump won my district by 19,000 votes. Joe Biden had won back in, get my dates right back in 2020, okay, he won by 11 points, okay? Trump just won my district by 5 points. That's a 16 point swing for me to win by 11,000 votes. Considering that everybody, not everybody who votes for president necessarily votes for the congressmember, for me to win by 11,000 votes, I had to get 20,000 people that voted for Donald Trump to actually vote for me. Now, that's not an easy thing to do. But because people know me and because they know that I'm going to fight for them, not just for the party. I'm going to fight for the people. And I talked about issues like the border. I got endorsed by the Nassau county pba, a Democrat hasn't been endorsed by the Nassau, including me, hasn't been endorsed by the Nassau County PBA for a long time. So you've got to be able to talk to the people about the issues they're concerned about and not let yourself be painted with this brush when they try to distract people.
Trevor Noah
Now you're watching these confirmation hearings.
Jordan Klepper
I haven't really been watching them that much, but I, you know, a little bit.
Trevor Noah
Oh, what do you, oh, you don't have the time to. What do you do? What's your job?
Jordan Klepper
Well, they're doing their hearings. I'm doing a ways and means hearing about the, about the budget.
Trevor Noah
I'm just saying check in maybe. No, no, no.
Jordan Klepper
Yes. Okay. But I don't sit there and watch three hour hearing about what's going on. But yes.
Trevor Noah
Who's it for? Me. I gotta watch these things. Tom, Watch these Things.
Jordan Klepper
But I don't vote. I don't vote on the confirmation.
Trevor Noah
You don't vote on any confirmation?
Jordan Klepper
That's only the. Only the Senate does that.
Trevor Noah
But do you.
Jordan Klepper
I follow it. Yes. I follow it.
Trevor Noah
Is there anybody who worries you the most?
Jordan Klepper
Yes.
Trevor Noah
Do you have somebody in my. Who keeps you up at night?
Jordan Klepper
Now, I'm concerned about some of the national security issues that the people that are going there that don't have the proper. Like when Hegseth was being grilled the other day, I was concerned that a lot of the focus was on his personal problems, which obviously there are personal problems that he has. Yeah. But I wish they had focused more on the fact that he's never really managed more than 200 people. And there are 3 million people that work for the Pentagon. It's the most lethal weaponry force in the history of the world. And it's really something we rely on so much. And I wish they had talked more about his management skills versus his personal problems.
Trevor Noah
And I don't want to shit talk your fellow Democrats there, but I know that is a critique right now. David Brooks had an article about that that looked at this hearing and everybody's going for the viral moments. And Hagseth definitely has some holes in his background, some character flaws that they're piecing apart. But should they have aggressively gone after perhaps some of those holes in experience and or knowledge with the organization he's going to run?
Jordan Klepper
Yeah, I think they should have. I mean, this is kind of like what I was saying before about Trump. You know, we know about all of his issues. Okay. And we just focused on that over and over again when we should have been talking about, no, we have a better plan to rebuild the middle class in the United States of America. Joe Biden always said, we want to build from the bottom up and the middle out. Now people don't really know what that means. That means we need to create more jobs in America. When you go to work every day, you make enough money so you have a good life. We need to focus. Democrats need to be getting back to that basic, simple message of what happened in our country when we lost our manufacturing base, when we saw globalization, when Milton Friedman wrote a paper that said, don't worry about the employees, don't worry about the community you're in, only worry about the shareholders. And that's what we did starting in the 1980s. We only worried about the shareholders. It worked. We made a lot of money. The problem is the Dow Jones went up 2,500%. The GDP went up 1,500%, but workers wages went up only 30%. We've got to start, we've got to get back to the basic messages. The basic messages that affect people's lives and how much money you make and what your health insurance and pension plan is, is the most basic thing for so many people in our country. And if we can get back to those basic messages, the Democrats will win over and over and over again. We can't let ourselves be distracted.
Trevor Noah
Mm. Hear, hear. You're taking the seat once held by George Santos. Do you, do you follow his career closely and ever think that after you get out of doing your time here and when you're finished with your term in 2062 or I don't, do you ever wish that you could kind of follow his trajectory and get on Cameo?
Jordan Klepper
No, I, I've had a history in politics of, you know, winning and losing, and everybody I get involved with ends up getting in trouble. So don't mess with me. You can, you can run against me, but if you beat me, your life's over after that. So. Lovely.
Trevor Noah
Well, Congressman Tom Suozzi, everyone. Gonna take a quick break. Right. That's our show for tonight. But before we go, please consider supporting the California Fire Foundation. They are on the ground working with local fire agencies and community organizations to provide support to impacted residents. If you can, please donate at the link below. Now, here it is. Your moment is end.
Jordan Klepper
Christopher Macchio heading to Washington, D.C. for.
Michael Kosta
A performance like none other.
Jordan Klepper
O say can you see. Makia will be singing the national anthem on Monday at President elect Donald Trump's inauguration. He has an iPad pro in front of him at the dinner table, and he basically plays a very eclectic playlist of selections.
Michael Kosta
Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcasts, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus.
Jordan Klepper
Paramount Podcasts.
The Daily Show: Ears Edition – Episode Summary
Episode Title: Trump’s New Portrait, Biden’s Ominous Farewell & Who Gets Ceasefire Credit?
Release Date: January 17, 2025
Hosts: Trevor Noah, Jordan Klepper, Desi Lydic, Michael Kosta
Guest: U.S. Representative Tom Suozzi
The episode kicks off with the hosts setting the stage for a night filled with political satire and insightful discussions on the latest headlines. Trevor Noah leads the conversation, highlighting significant events such as Donald Trump's new official portrait, President Joe Biden's farewell address, and the contentious debate over credit for the recent ceasefire in the Middle East.
Trump’s Official Photo Release
Trevor Noah opens the segment by mocking the release of Donald Trump's new official portrait, humorously suggesting it will adorn DMVs and airports nationwide. He quips, "So what Sonny Face will be staring at for the next four years. Ho, ho, ho, ho, man, man" (00:38).
Inauguration Guest List
The discussion shifts to Trump's upcoming inauguration, where Noah sarcastically lists tech moguls attending the event, including Elon Musk, Jeff Bezos, and Mark Zuckerberg. He humorously speculates about the inclusion of unconventional guests like the CEO of Vine, remarking, "Even the CEO of Vine will be there. I mean, he'll be panhandling outside, but he'll be near, near there" (03:07).
Campaign Props and Characters
Noah continues to satirize the event by mentioning the return of campaign characters, such as the infamous MAGA garbage truck. He jokes, "It's gonna get its own right-wing podcast, join the White House staff," highlighting the absurdity of blending campaign symbols into official ceremonies (04:15).
Biden’s Warning About Oligarchy
Desi Lydic highlights President Biden's final farewell address, where he warns of the dangers posed by a rising tech industrial complex and the formation of an oligarchy threatening American democracy:
"The potential rise of a tech industrial complex. That could pose real dangers. An oligarchy is taking shape in America of extreme wealth, power and influence that literally threatens our entire democracy." (01:38).
Ceasefire Negotiation and Credit Attribution
The hosts delve into the recently brokered ceasefire between Israel and Hamas, discussing the collaborative efforts between the outgoing Biden administration and the incoming Trump team. Trevor Noah humorously critiques the scramble to assign credit, saying, "If Donald Trump wasn't elected in November, none of this would have been happening" (08:15). The debate intensifies as Michael Kosta sarcastically attributes the success solely to Trump, while Desi Lydic vehemently defends Biden's role.
Peace Points Satire
In a satirical twist, the hosts invent the concept of "peace points" to mock the futile attempts to quantify political achievements. Desi Lydic explains:
"It's the points you get for peace, and they go to Donald Trump. He's basically the president now." (09:19).
This leads to a humorous back-and-forth where the hosts argue over the legitimacy and existence of peace points, ultimately underscoring the absurdity of political credit-grabbing.
Grace Kuhlenschmidt’s Follow-Up
Grace Kuhlenschmidt revisits previous election predictions made by analysts like Alan Lichtman, revealing that Lichtman incorrectly predicted Kamala Harris as the first female president.
"But Alan Lichtman was wrong. Donald Trump has been elected president." (12:10).
Kamala Harris’ Defense
Kamala Harris responds defensively, criticizing Lichtman's prediction and attributing the error to broader societal issues:
"The broader point is I do think Harris, race and gender played a role here. There are deep strains within this country of misogyny, racism, xenophobia." (13:52).
She humorously touches on cultural references, mentioning Charli XCX’s mockery, and emphasizes the importance of learning from political missteps.
Introduction of Congressman Suozzi
Trevor Noah welcomes U.S. Representative Tom Suozzi, highlighting his role as a Democrat representing New York's 3rd congressional district.
Democrats’ Approach in the Trump Era
Suozzi discusses his strategy for Democrats to navigate the new political landscape under Trump's presidency. He advocates for a balanced approach of resisting harmful policies while striving to build consensus on pressing issues:
"You’ve got to resist when it's appropriate... But the people want us to work together to try and solve problems." (18:25).
Focusing on Working-Class Issues
Suozzi emphasizes the need for Democrats to refocus on issues that directly impact the working class, such as border security, healthcare, and economic stability:
"We need to create more jobs in America. When you go to work every day, you make enough money so you have a good life." (25:08).
Critique of Current Political Tactics
He criticizes the Republican strategy of distraction and the Democrats' failure to effectively counteract it, highlighting the importance of not getting sidetracked by divisive culture wars:
"We've got to start to get back to the basic messages that affect people's lives and how much money you make..." (33:44).
Media's Emphasis on Personal Issues
The hosts critique how media coverage during confirmation hearings often prioritizes candidates' personal flaws over their professional qualifications. Jordan Klepper laments,
"We know about his issues. And we just focused on that over and over again when we should have been talking about, no, we have a better plan to rebuild the middle class..." (32:21).
Importance of Addressing Qualifications
Trevor Noah echoes the sentiment, advocating for a shift in focus towards candidates' abilities to address national security and economic challenges rather than their personal lives.
Reiterating Core Democratic Values
The episode wraps up with a strong call for Democrats to return to their foundational principles, emphasizing economic reform, healthcare, and support for the middle class as priorities:
"Everyone in America should believe that if I work hard, in return for working hard, I make enough money so I can live a decent life." (25:58).
Avoiding Distractions and Building Unity
Trevor Noah and the hosts stress the necessity of avoiding distractions caused by political theatrics and focusing on substantive policymaking to address the nation's challenges effectively.
Final Thoughts from Congressman Suozzi
Suozzi reinforces the message of unity and practical action, underscoring the importance of addressing real issues over partisan conflicts:
"If we can get back to those basic messages, the Democrats will win over and over and over again." (33:44).
Trump’s Inauguration: Satirical coverage of Trump's new portrait and the unconventional guest list, highlighting the blending of politics and celebrity culture.
Biden’s Farewell & Ceasefire Credit: A humorous debate on attributing credit for the ceasefire, introducing the fictional concept of "peace points" to mock political credit disputes.
Election Predictions: Examination of flawed political forecasting and the impact of societal issues on election outcomes, with Kamala Harris addressing erroneous predictions.
Democratic Strategy: Insightful interview with Congressman Suozzi on shifting Democratic strategies to focus on working-class issues and building bipartisan consensus amidst Trump’s presidency.
Media Critique: Criticism of media focus on personal flaws of political figures during confirmation hearings instead of their professional competencies.
This episode of The Daily Show: Ears Edition weaves together sharp political satire with substantive discussions on current events, offering listeners both humor and insight into the complexities of American politics in early 2025.
Notable Quotes:
Trevor Noah on Biden’s Farewell:
"This is President Biden's negotiation. This credit goes to Joe Biden. Joe Biden. Not 100%. That's not fair, people." (06:12)
Kamala Harris on Oligarchy:
"The potential rise of a tech industrial complex. That could pose real dangers. An oligarchy is taking shape in America of extreme wealth, power and influence that literally threatens our entire democracy." (01:38)
Desi Lydic on Peace Points:
"Think about him like a pickle jar." (09:53)
Jordan Klepper on Economic Issues:
"Everyone in America should believe that if I work hard, in return for working hard, I make enough money so I can live a decent life." (25:58)
Timestamp Guide:
Note: This summary excludes non-content sections such as advertisements, intros, and outros to focus solely on the episode's substantive discussions.