Trump's Second First 100 Days - Pt. 1

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Daily Show: Ears Edition - "Trump's Second First 100 Days - Pt. 1"

Host: Trevor Noah, along with The Daily Show News Team
Episode Release Date: April 25, 2025
Podcast Title: The Daily Show: Ears Edition
Hosts/Authors: iHeartPodcasts and Paramount Podcasts

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Introduction

In the satirical episode titled "Trump's Second First 100 Days - Pt. 1," The Daily Show humorously explores a fictional scenario where Donald J. Trump returns to the White House as the 47th President of the United States. Hosted by Trevor Noah and featuring contributions from co-hosts Jordan Klepper, Ronny Chieng, Roy Wood Jr., Desi Lydic, and Michael Kosta, the episode delves into Trump's tumultuous and exaggerated first days back in office, parodying real political dynamics with sharp wit and comedic flair.

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Swearing-In Ceremony and Transfer of Power

The episode kicks off with a mock depiction of Trump's re-inauguration, highlighting the chaotic and absurd nature of the event:

• Jordan Klepper opens by mocking Trump's return to the Capitol, likening it to a "scene of the crime."
• Trevor Noah quips, “Trump didn't actually put his hand on the Bible... because one or the other would burst into flames” (01:24).
• Ronny Chieng humorously interprets Trump's inaugural speech as a vehement rejection of his predecessor: “Record inflation, trying to socially engineer race and gender... From this moment on, America's dick line is over” (02:33).

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Executive Orders and Policies

Pardoning January 6 Rioters

Trump's aggressive use of executive power is the primary target of the satire:

• Ronny Chieng states, “President Trump decided to toss the... pins to some of his supporters” (08:23), parodying the release of January 6 rioters.
• Jordan Klepper comments on the lack of accountability, stating, “Cycle of no accountability” (06:47).

Withdrawing from International Agreements

Trump's withdrawal from global organizations is mocked extensively:

• Roy Wood Jr. mocks Trump's decision to withdraw from the WHO: “Withdrawing from the WHO is like hearing dessert options” (08:58).
• Ronny Chieng sarcastically downplays the significance of leaving the Paris Climate Accords: “Yo, we're not gonna reach the emission goals anyway” (09:51).

Ending DEI Programs and Birthright Citizenship

The show's hosts lampoon Trump's rollback of diversity, equity, and inclusion (DEI) initiatives:

• Desi Lydic reports on the alarming decree to end DEI programs: “Employees have been told to report any colleagues involved in DEI” (14:09).
• Roy Wood Jr. quips about DEI’s implications: “Trump is dedicated to rooting out DEI all throughout history” (14:59).
• Jordan Klepper highlights the judicial pushback: “A federal judge has just temporarily blocked President Trump's order attempting to end birthright citizenship” (05:50) and criticizes Trump’s disregard for constitutional boundaries.

Transgender Policies in the Military and Sports

Trump's controversial policies regarding transgender individuals are a focal point of parody:

• Roy Wood Jr. mocks the ban on transgender service members: “Transition surgeries... could affect your readiness for up to 12 months” (30:08).
• Trump’s Executive Order banning transgender women from women's sports is ridiculed: “With this executive order, the war on women's sports is over” (50:05).

Hiring Elon Musk and Government Efficiency Commission

The satire extends to Trump's unconventional appointments:

• Desi Lydic and Ronny Chieng parody the appointment of Elon Musk to lead the Government Efficiency Commission: “Elon Musk has access to your Social Security number, and that is not cool” (41:21).
• Roy Wood Jr. humorously critiques the age of Musk’s team: “Recent college and high school graduates between 19 and 24 years old” (42:17).

Plans for Gaza and Foreign Policy Missteps

Trump's foreign policy, particularly regarding Gaza, is a key target:

• Jordan Klepper ridicules Trump's proposal to turn Gaza into a resort: “Donald Trump calling for the permanent resettlement of roughly 2 million Palestinians” (45:30).
• Desi Lydic mocks the inconsistency in Trump's statements: “President Trump made a surprising suggestion... redevelop it into something like a seaside resort” (44:27).

Tariffs and OSHA Abolishment

Economic policies receive a comedic twist:

• Ronny Chieng sarcastically refers to the reinstatement of steel tariffs: “We're going to stop the destructive and divisive DEI” (56:57).
• Jordan Klepper plays on historical references when discussing the abolishment of OSHA: “And fill mine with boiling tallow” (60:38).

Judiciary and Separation of Powers

The episode emphasizes the tension between Trump's executive actions and the judiciary:

• Jordan Klepper explains the role of the judiciary in checking executive power: “Marbury vs Madison, which... established our foundational separation of powers” (62:47).
• Desi Lydic and Ronny Chieng highlight the judicial pushback against Trump's policies, emphasizing the inviolability of constitutional rights (25:08).

Foreign Relations and Diplomatic Engagements

Trump's interactions with foreign leaders are portrayed with exaggerated absurdity:

• Michael Kosta and Desi Lydic mock Trump's press conference with French President Emmanuel Macron, focusing on language barriers and miscommunications (82:53).
• Jordan Klepper humorously critiques Trump's negotiation tactics with Russian President Putin regarding Ukraine: “You went to law school Mother” (63:15).

Ukraine Conflict and Peace Negotiations

The satire extends to Trump's handling of international conflicts:

• Troal Noah and Ronny Chieng parody Trump's unrealistic promises to end the Ukraine war swiftly: “I can get it ended” (72:16).
• Desi Lydic and Michael Kosta mock the ineffective and contradictory diplomatic strategies: “Russia freed a wrongfully detained American teacher... in exchange, the US releases a Russian cybercrime kingpin” (73:00).

Selling Citizenship: The Gold Card Executive Order

A fictional executive order proposing the sale of citizenship is a central comedic element:

• Ronny Chieng introduces the "Gold Card" proposal: “We're going to be putting a price on that card of about $5 million” (90:37).
• Desi Lydic and Jordan Klepper ridicule the concept's absurdity and implications: “It's like if the Dallas Mavericks traded Luka Doncic for public school teacher Mark Fogle” (73:02).

Healthcare Transparency and Minor Wins

While most executive actions are mocked, a minor policy receives a lighter touch:

• Desi Lydic highlights Trump's executive order on hospital price transparency, albeit humorously downplayed: “Trump was right on this one... but at the same meeting, he seemed more interested in doing stuff like this” (78:25).

Conclusion: A Cycle of Absurdity and Overreach

The episode concludes by reinforcing the ongoing cycle of exaggerated executive overreach and the judiciary's role in maintaining constitutional balance:

• Jordan Klepper reflects on Trump's continuous push for "making America great again" through increasingly absurd policies: “Everything Trump does is all part of making America great again” (55:00).
• Trevor Noah and Desi Lydic emphasize the importance of judicial oversight and the fragility of democratic institutions in the face of authoritarian tendencies (71:11).

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Jordan Klepper: “But there's gotta be a happy medium between storming the Capitol and Would you like a crumpet?” (01:22)
• Ronny Chieng: “Our country's month-old dream of conquering Greenland” (28:56)
• Roy Wood Jr.: “They're reaching up and pushing buttons, hoping it will work out” (08:23)
• Jordan Klepper: “Birthright citizenship wants to be a strongman authoritarian” (24:40)
• Desi Lydic: “Trump is like a Jedi who doesn't have the force” (42:20)
• Ronny Chieng: “Will you never hold someone accountable?” (16:09)
• Jordan Klepper: “It's textbook authoritarian takeover” (23:35)
• Desi Lydic: “ETHNIC CHERISHING” (67:54)
• Roy Wood Jr.: “Democrats inspire my anger in the least charismatic way possible” (21:02)
• Ronny Chieng: “A terrorist kingpin” (73:42)
• Jordan Klepper: “More about Fettermans shorts?” (03:26)

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Conclusion

"The Daily Show: Ears Edition" masterfully satirizes a hypothetical second term of Donald Trump, using sharp humor to critique and exaggerate real-world political actions and policies. Through witty commentary, the show highlights concerns about executive overreach, the erosion of democratic norms, and the absurdity of populist promises, all while entertaining listeners with its signature comedic style.

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Note: This summary captures the essence and humor of the episode while providing a coherent narrative for listeners who have not tuned in. All quotes are attributed appropriately with corresponding timestamps for reference.

Transcript

[Trevor Noah]

You're listening to Comedy Central.

[Jordan Klepper]

Donald J. Trump, the 45th president of the United States, a man whose licentious and felonious behavior has been well cataloged and documented, returned to the capital of Rotunda just four short years after inspiring in that very place a day of riotous shick shit. Return to the exact same room. Now, generally, if this were a Dateline documentary, he would return to that room to express a form of repentance and maturity and acknowledgement of pain that had been wrought on that terrible day. But in this show that we're filming now, it's to be sworn in as the 47th president of the United States. And as with most returning to the scene of the crime, it began with tea with the people you tried to steal it from.

[Trevor Noah]

A short time ago, President Joe Biden.

[Desi Lydic]

Greeted Mr. And Mrs. Trump at the.

[Trevor Noah]

White House for tea, an inaugural tradition.

[Jordan Klepper]

It's always important to keep up the tea tradition when you hand over the keys to. I'm sorry, what did you call them?

[Trevor Noah]

Hitler.

[Jordan Klepper]

But. Gotta be a good host. Hey, the wi fi password is White House, but I changed the I to A1. I hope that's not weird. I'm not saying Biden should have done his own insurrection, but there's gotta be a happy medium between storming the Capitol and Would you like a crumpet? Then it was time for the swearing in on the kind of. On the Bible. Yes, it turns out Trump didn't actually put his hand on. On the Bible, obviously, because one or the other would burst into flames. Perhaps both. And so, ladies and gentlemen, the torch has been passed from Biden to Trump. Yes, the torch has been passed to the same generation of Americans. Let's hear from the 47th President, fresh off the warm embrace of a tea ceremony with his predecessor.

[Ronny Chieng]

My recent election is a mandate to completely and totally reverse a horrible betrayal and all of these many betrayals that have taken place.

[Jordan Klepper]

He's right behind you. Luckily, I don't think he can hear you. Yes. The inaugural speech followed the American tradition of a passive aggressive transfer of power. The incoming president gets to completely shit on the outgoing president in front of that president and hopefully his spouse.

[Ronny Chieng]

In recent years, our nation has suffered greatly. Record inflation, trying to socially engineer race and gender. Disastrous invasion of our country. A radical and corrupt establishment. Vicious, violent, and unfair weaponization. From this moment on, America's dick line is over.

[Jordan Klepper]

This is a tumultuous time in American history filled with much uncertainty and trepidation. But it is very difficult for me to not in any Way. Take the bait of the way he said dick line. It really did sound like he said our dick line. Like the line of our dick. So you can see America's dick line. I mean, how are you going to end our dick line? With a tuck or a full reassignment? Or is this more about Fetterman's shorts? What about our dick line? I am a child. But as bad as things were, guess what, folks, Daddy's home. It's about to get a whole lot better.

[Ronny Chieng]

The golden age of America begins right now. From this day forward, our country will flourish. The American dream will soon be back and thriving like never before. We will win like never before. We will be a rich nation again. We will bring down, fill our strategic reserves up again. We will drill, baby, drill.

[Jordan Klepper]

Ooh, I think I just saw J.D. vance's dick line. Drill, baby, drill. But for all the day's eerie energy, one thing stood out to America's watchdogs of democracy.

[Trevor Noah]

We have watched as the 47th President of the United States has been sworn in the cornerstone of democracy. This is the true transfer of power here of the current president and the former president making this walk.

[Michael Kosta]

This process is what distinguishes the United States from a lot of other parts of the world.

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah, it's all just normal shit. It's just another day. It's all just normal transfer power shit. We're just gonna play along like all this theater is normal. Oh, except there was one thing that might have given the game.

[Desi Lydic]

With just 20 minutes or so left in his presidency, we've just gotten word from President Biden that he is pardoning his brothers, their wives, his sister, other family members. He says that he is doing this because baseless and politically motivated investigations wreak havoc on the lives of individuals.

[Jordan Klepper]

It's all just normal. First of all, Biden, you're at the inauguration. Did you auto schedule your pardons? And second of all, what the, man? You're just pardoning your whole family. It's not a great look. Yeah, like any good captain. As the ship is going down, Biden gave the order. That lifeboat is for my family. The rest of you can do just like a kind of Jack and rose thing. One on one off, 50, 50 shot. Who gives a sh. Biden outy. So the takeaway of this entire day was a man who tried to overthrow the government has been peacefully handed the reins of power. And the outgoing president has started a new tradition of blanket pardoning. Everyone in his orbit. The two men creating a magnificent snake sucking its own dick. Cycle of no accountability. And Then, of course, we end with the grand finale. The attack on Greenland has begun.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yesterday, that dude signed over 100 executive actions. I mean, look at them. He froze the federal hiring bill. Something about genders there. He said Cuba is a state sponsored terrorist. He renamed the mountain Dis. Dishwashers are less efficient. He can. He can do that. Look, he has so many executive actions, they had to, like, scroll through the tracks like it was an ad for now, that's what I call maga. And being the showman that he was, Trump wasn't gonna sign these behind a desk with a pen and paper like a nerd. Okay? No, he turned this into an arena.

[Jordan Klepper]

Show at Capitol One arena.

[Trevor Noah]

In front of a crowd of supporters.

[Michael Kosta]

Trump putting into motion his day one actions.

[Trevor Noah]

After President Trump signed the executive orders.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

At a desk that was placed on.

[Trevor Noah]

Stage, he had a pile of pins. Well, President Trump decided to toss the.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Pins to some of his supporters. Wow. Whoever caught that pen is so lucky. I mean, that is going to be such a cool thing for those guys to show their kids once they get their visitation rights back. And. And even. Even after. Even after he got back to the White House, he just kept signing. I mean, this. This guy was so in the zone, he didn't even know what he was signing.

[Ronny Chieng]

Withdrawing from.

[Trevor Noah]

Withdrawing from the World Health Organization.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Ooh.

[Trevor Noah]

Ooh.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

He's withdrawing from the World Health Organization. Like, he's hearing the dessert options.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

I'll have the tiramisu and potential measles outbreak with. I mean, if you could put anything in front of him yesterday, he would have signed it. Melania, now's your chance to update the prenup.

[Trevor Noah]

Go, go, go, go.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

But you know. But you know what? I'm not gonna be shitting on President Trump, okay? Okay, sure, he pulled out of the who, but, like, who are those guys? What. What. What are the odds there's ever gonna be a pandemic requiring global cooperation? So I'm gonna go to President Trump with an open mind. You know, he won the election, which means he's a great guy. Who's right? So I'm sure his executive orders are reasonable.

[Desi Lydic]

Trump pulled the US out of the Paris climate accords.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay, okay, look, he. I know that sounds bad for these woke liberals, but, like, does it really matter? You know, one year we're in, next year we're out. We've been doing the hokey pokey of these guys for, like, 12 years. They didn't even put us in a group chat anymore. Okay, also, news flash, Paris Accord. Yo, we're not gonna reach the emission goals anyway, okay? This world is over. It's just an excuse to go to Paris, which overrated. Okay, so fine, he's taking us out of anything that involves the rest of the world, okay? I'm sure there's other executive orders that aren't any worse.

[Michael Kosta]

Among the many executive orders President Trump signed on Monday was this one, pausing the TikTok ban for 75 days. He says the United States should broker a deal to own half of the platform.

[Ronny Chieng]

I think the US should be entitled to get half of TikTok. And congratulations, TikTok has a good partner.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

See, yo, he brought back TikTok just as my brain was regaining its higher order functions. I mean, oh, my God, that was close. Now, if you remember, TikTok was originally banned because everyone thinks it gives China too much influence over America. And to be fair, before I started using TikTok, I was a white guy from Iowa. Okay, but the point. The point is the people have spoken, okay? We want China to change our brains. What absolute idiot even thought of banning it in the first place?

[Ronny Chieng]

We're looking at TikTok. We may be banning TikTok.

[Jordan Klepper]

Okay?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, thank you, President Trump, for saving us from that guy. What I'm saying is all these executive orders aren't bad, okay? I mean, what else is he doing?

[Trevor Noah]

And Trump is gonna try through executive order to end birthright citizenship. It's a constitutional right that those born on American soil are US Citizens regardless of their parents immigration status.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay, okay, that. That does sound like a major change. Birthright citizenship has been in the constitution for over 100 years. But on the other hand, should you just be a US Citizen just because you were born here? I mean, I think all citizens should have to prove that they're truly American by taking a quiz on American history and failing it. Okay? If your score. If your score is above 60, you're going back to Asia or whatever shithole country has educational standards. And to be fair, nothing too extreme so far. I mean, it sounds like there's a campaign, Trump, that says things to win. And then there's a President Trump pool.

[Michael Kosta]

Rules more moderately overnight with the stroke of a pen. President Trump issuing sweeping pardons to nearly all of the rioters charged for their actions on January 6th.

[Ronny Chieng]

So this is January 6th.

[Michael Kosta]

Trump even granting clemency to the more than 600 people charged with assaulting or resisting law enforcement.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Okay, look, freeing violent criminals from prison seems less moderate and more like something Bain did. Okay, but you know, you know what? If you know your history in that situation, Batman fixed it, okay? So concerns are overblown. And look, these guys have been in prison for like, two whole months already, okay? I'm sure they've learned their lesson.

[Michael Kosta]

Jacob Tansley, we know him as also the QAnon Shaman.

[Trevor Noah]

He put out something on social media where he said, I got a pardon, baby. Thank you, President Trump.

[Michael Kosta]

Now I am gonna buy some mother effing guns.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

It's almost the end of Trump's first week in office, and he's done a lot. He shut down windmills, he saved TikTok, he caught common San Diego. And the man just can't stop, won't stop. On Monday, he wiped out all federal DEI programs. And yesterday, he ordered that if anyone, anyone. If you see anyone trying to be inclusive, you better tell teacher.

[Trevor Noah]

The Trump administration asking federal workers to snitch on their coworkers in a rollback of diversity, equity and inclusion programs.

[Desi Lydic]

Employees have been told to report any.

[Trevor Noah]

Colleagues who work in diversity, equity and.

[Desi Lydic]

Inclusion roles, or they could face consequences.

[Trevor Noah]

NBC News obtained emails sent to multiple.

[Desi Lydic]

Agencies that say some of these programs are disguised using coded or imprecise language.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Yeah, you hear that? Don't even think about doing DEI in secret, all right? Don't be meeting up in back alleys like, yo, yo, you got any lesbian resumes for me? And I know you think di was only invented in 2020 by Democrats looking for a fresh new way to lose elections, but Donald Trump is dedicated to rooting out di all throughout history.

[Trevor Noah]

One of the president's executive orders revokes an executive order signed by President lyndon Johnson in 1965 that the Trump administration says mandated affirmative action.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's right. Donald Trump went back in time to kill baby dei. It's kind of impressive that he got this much. Trump is doing deep dives into these obscure old policies like he's MAGA John Oliver. And look, I. I'm not. I'm not gonna pretend to know more about civil rights law than Donald Trump. I mean, he's been sued over it many times. But if a discrimination law has been around since 1965, it might be a load bearing civil rights thing, so maybe don't touch it. But DEI is not the only thing Trump is shutting down. He's also shutting down illegal immigration. In fact, it was probably the biggest thing he talked about during the campaign, aside from Arnold Palmer's penis, which is actually a thing that happened. But today, Trump faced his first setback.

[Trevor Noah]

Breaking news out of Seattle.

[Michael Kosta]

A federal judge has just temporarily blocked President Trump's order attempting to end birthright citizenship.

[Desi Lydic]

The judge in this case is saying that they have been on the bench for over four decades. And this is a quote from the judge inside the courtroom. I can't remember another case where the question presented is as clear as this one. This is a blatantly unconstitutional order.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What does the Constitution have to do with this? The Constitution is for gun stuff. Okay? Who died and made this? Woke activist a judge. Huh? Oh, Ronald Reagan, that liberal cuck. This, this judge. This judge has been judging for four decades and has never seen something, and I quote, so blatantly unconstitutional. I mean, that's like the judge equivalent of a Kendrick diss track. Like, all the other judges were like, oh, shit, we concur. Usually the judge says this is constitutional or. Or unconstitutional. Okay, but this is like next level unconstitutional. This is like if you took a pregnancy test and it said you are the least pregnant anyone's ever been in 40 years. But Trump doesn't expect all these executive orders to pass legal scrutiny. He's signing those things the way, like, guys swipe right on every Tinder profile. Okay, yo, he just needs one or two to hit, and that's the weekend, baby. The point is, Trump is gonna try whatever he can to shut the border down. And last night, Trump sat down for some conversation and light manspreading with Sean Hannity to explain why in an Oval Office.

[Michael Kosta]

Sit down. Last night, President Trump repeated false claims that other countries are sending their prisoners here.

[Ronny Chieng]

They've emptied their jails. I would, if I were the president or prime minister or something of another country, I'd empty my jails right into America.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

You did do that, like, three days.

[Trevor Noah]

Ago.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

With the, with the Gen 6 thing. Remember that guy handed you all those Cheesecake Factory menus and you signed them all. That was the thing. But look, Trump doesn't care whether migrants are technically criminals or not, because he can tell just by looking at them.

[Ronny Chieng]

Sean, who would ask for open borders with people pouring in? Some of whom I won't get into it, but you can look at them and you can say, could be trouble. Could be trouble. There are people coming in with tattoos all over their face. Their entire face is covered with tattoos. Typically, you know, he's not going to. To be the head of the local bank.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Breaking news, old man not fan of tattoos. And yeah, probably the guys with face tattoos aren't going to be bankers, but maybe bankers should have face tattoos. I mean, one teardrop for every loan application they've denied. Hey, stay clear of J.P. morgan. That guy's loco.

[Trevor Noah]

Friday Night massacre.

[Desi Lydic]

Late Friday night purge. A chilling purge.

[Ronny Chieng]

The purge.

[Jordan Klepper]

Trump has ushered in the purge. I. I for one. I, for one will take full advantage by doing some unpermitted lawn work. Your God is powerless. Although, just in case I'm misinterpreting, what is this purge about exactly?

[Desi Lydic]

Breaking news, the mass firing of government agency watchdogs.

[Michael Kosta]

Trump fired at least 17 inspectors general.

[Jordan Klepper]

No, he got rid of 17 inspectors general. That only leaves. No one knows how many left. I. I have no. Oh, I'm sorry. Did I break the illusion? You don't. You know, here's a nice thing at home. You don't know if that's the ax or my desk. Which one is fake, I'll never tell. The point is, we have 17 less inspectors general. Who knows how many generals will now go uninspected. Democrats inspire my anger in the least charismatic way possible.

[Trevor Noah]

Donald Trump's decision to fire 12 of the federal government's independent watchdog is a glaring sign that it's a golden age. And Donald Trump's decision to fire 12 of the federal government's independent watchdogs is a glaring sign that it's a golden age for abuse in government and even corruption.

[Jordan Klepper]

He started again, right? He said it twice, like no recognition just started again. Is that what happened? Normally, humans in that scenario would go, oh, God, I'm sorry, where was I? Let me take that from the top and maybe this time I'll look up. Can you. Are you. Can you legally just restart without acknowledgement? Is Schumer AI. Is he deep seeking? But regardless of how slowly NPC Chuck Schumer laid it out, what Trump did violated the law. He can't just fire these people.

[Desi Lydic]

Title V, Section 403 of the U.S. code, Federal Law.

[Trevor Noah]

An inspector general may be removed by the president. What?

[Jordan Klepper]

So what's the purge? What's the matter? Why do I have an axe?

[Trevor Noah]

There is a specific law that requires.

[Jordan Klepper]

Notice, 30 days, and a statement of.

[Trevor Noah]

Reasons, substantive and detailed rationale.

[Jordan Klepper]

What? I'm sorry, what? Oh, apparently you can fire them, but you have to give them 30 days notice. Oh, so that's what we're upset about. No, you could do it, but not in that font. That's Hitler's font. But this is the cycle we find ourselves in. First law of Trump O Dynamics. Every action is met with a very not equal overreaction, thus throwing off our ability to know when shit is actually getting real. Like last week's pardons. These pardons are sick. They are offensive. They are un American.

[Michael Kosta]

This is one of the most egregious, despicable acts in American history.

[Desi Lydic]

This is textbook authoritarian takeover. 101.

[Jordan Klepper]

I knew I should have taken that class and not majored in submissive liberal crying 101. Do what you will. Trumpieski. Was it shitty? Yes. Should you have let some of those terrible people. No. Is it an abuse of pardon power? I don't know. But that is his constitutional power. Again, for some reason, we have given presidents the power of a king. And then we say, oh, by the way, with that power, you're not gonna get all, like, kingly and shit on us, right? To put that in constitutional terms, if I could. Don't hate the player. Hate the founding Fathers.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

That's not.

[Jordan Klepper]

Why do we even have it? Because I don't know if you've met Donald Trump. He pushes shit.

[Desi Lydic]

President Trump deploying executive action to end birthright citizenship.

[Trevor Noah]

This unconstitutional un American attack shredding our.

[Jordan Klepper]

Constitution wants to be a strongman authoritarian. Birthright citizenship was very specifically tailored to send a message to people that America was a place, an idea. It wasn't for one race, it wasn't for one gender. Citizenship in America was based on where you were, not who you were, and to just. Stroke of a pen. Finally, I agree, that is authoritarian.

[Trevor Noah]

We do begin tonight with the federal judge blocking President Trump's executive order that would end birthright citizenship.

[Jordan Klepper]

And we're back. See how easy that was? It was a dictatorship. And then the judge went, mm, it's like when you have an electric fence, you never check it and you're not really sure if it works. Cause'cause you have a good boy. You have a very good boy. But then one day, zap. By the way, I fundamentally disagree with the use of electric fences. It is true. I prefer to discipline my dogs with a series of passive aggressive comments about their weight. Really tearing through the bowl tonight, huh? Take a breath, Tubbs. It's called kibble, not gobble. By the way, my dog's name is Tubbs. Anyway, birthright citizenship is back.

[Ronny Chieng]

No, obviously, we'll appeal it.

[Trevor Noah]

Damn you.

[Jordan Klepper]

Constitutionally enshrined judicial review of executive action and its relief through the appellate process. Look, we are facing a deluge of these executive actions, and certainly we must be prepared for those most vulnerable to the consequences of these actions. But the this is all fascist argument has become almost a reflex for the left.

[Trevor Noah]

Donald Trump promised to be a dictator on day one, and he's carried that forward through the entire week. Five days into this administration. The abuse is already rampant throughout the rest of the week. Shredding the Constitution as he went.

[Desi Lydic]

On a fascism scale of 1 to 10, with 10 being peak fascism, how would you rate Trump's first week.

[Jordan Klepper]

On the scale of Mussolini to the Holocaust? You know, I would say it's not fascism. Do I not understand what fascism is? And also, if I may, and this may be petty, why are we asking someone who at the end of January still has his Christmas tree on? Why? Why are we asking him anything?

[Trevor Noah]

Donald Trump was busy getting our military in shape so he can finally fulfill our country's month old dream of conquering Greenland. And first, we're going to need to have as many troops as possible. President Trump has signed several executive orders to reshape the military, including directive banning transgender service members. Okay, did I say as many troops? I mean, fewer troops, right? You know what they say in the army, less is more. Look, maybe they don't say that. I don't know, but that's. Look, I don't have a problem with transgender soldiers. As someone who pees himself anytime he hears a loud noise, I think we should be grateful to anyone who's willing to put their life on the line so I don't have to. But hey, yeah, okay, but I'm open minded about being closed minded. So what's the issue here? President Trump signed an executive order calling transgender people unfit to serve.

[Desi Lydic]

One part says being transgender is, quote, not consistent with the humility and selflessness required of a service member.

[Trevor Noah]

Another says being trans conflicts with, quote, an honorable, truthful, and disciplined lifestyle, even in one's personal life. Yeah, well, look, it makes sense that the military has to be honorable, truthful, and disciplined. Sure, this is your Secretary of Defense, but that's all the more reason. That's all the more reason that the rest of them have to have their shit together. It's like how every Beatles album had to be packed with hits to make up for that one song that Ringo wrote about wanting to an octopus or whatever. I gotta say, the military sure has a lot of ethical rules for their mission of killing people. Hey, you wanna blow some guy's head off, you better say please and thank you. But to be fair, Trump had another argument against trans soldiers as well. They specifically cite readiness with transition surgeries. If you have a transition surgery, the.

[Desi Lydic]

Recovery time and the narcotics that you have to be on as part of the process could affect your readiness for up to 12 months.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh, up to 12 months. Do you know how long our wars last? I think they'll have you back in. Back in the game in no time. Vietnam War, 11 years, Afghanistan War, 20 years, even our storage wars last 15 seasons. First of all, transgender people make up, so, Commander in Chief, you're ruining the lives of people who are dedicated to serving America while doing nothing to affect the larger military. I don't see why a transition surgery should affect readiness more than any other surgery. Trump is acting like they're doing transition surgeries on the front lines. Medic. I need a medic over here. We gotta get this guy a labia station. Also, what do you mean, readiness? Modern war is just telling a drone to drop bombs. Pretty sure it doesn't matter what your sex is to go like this. That's how they drop bombs. But Trump isn't just doing bad things to good people. He's also doing good things to bad people. It's been a week since he pardoned everyone who had a normal tourist visit to the Capitol on January 6th. And I'm sure they're making the most of their second chance, right? A man pardoned by President Trump for his role in the January 6 riot was shot and killed by an Indiana deputy during a traffic stop. Okay, well, except for that guy. I mean, that guy really wasted a presidential pardon. Look, if I ever get a presidential pardon, I'll tell you what I'm not gonna do. I'm not gonna get shot to death. So what exactly happened there? Police say the deputy tried to arrest Matthew Huddle on Sunday, but he resisted, and the deputy shot him. Investigators say Huddle had a gun. Hmm. A routine traffic stop ending in the police shooting a man they claimed had a gun. Ordinarily, this is the kind of thing liberals would cry police brutality, but if it's a January 6th sir, you know, I have a feeling they're gonna be like, look, we need to back the blue on this one. Liberals are getting so much whiplash trying to decide if this cop is bad or good. Rachel Maddow is going to be in a neck brace. But aside from the ones who are dead, all the rest of the January 6 rioters who Trump released from prison must be so happy right now.

[Michael Kosta]

Houston authorities are trying to find a man pardoned by Donald Trump for his role in the January 6th riots. Andrew Take is wanted for a 2016 charge of a solicitation of a minor.

[Trevor Noah]

Okay, well, not that guy also, but stop. But look, any group as large as the January 6th grant is gonna have one sex creep in it. You know, there's probably one in our audience right now. Raise your hand if you're a sex creep. That guy in the plaid shirt, that woman. Sir, come on. The point is, all the rest of the partners, they're fine. They're doing fine. A Mint Hill man who pleaded guilty to his involvement in January 6th is possibly facing other charges. Court documents show David Daniel is facing child pornography charges. Wait, wait, wait. What? I'm starting to worry that the people who broke into the Capitol and took a shit on Nancy Pelosi's desk are not upstanding citizens. You know what? Forget about those two pedophiles. Andrew Kyle Grigsby of Louisville, who was pardoned for spraying Capitol Police with bear spray, is currently incarcerated in a Kentucky prison for two counts of child pornography. Jesus Christ. At this point, it might have been better for them just to stay in prison, you know? At least then they were heroes. Now they're all going to individual prisons for child pornography, like so. Do you guys have a choir? Trump's been busy these last few days. Signing orders, reinstalling the Diet Coke button, grabbing Panama by the canal. But it was only a matter of time until he had to start presidenting for real. This morning, he held a press conference to address the tragic plane crash in Washington, D.C. last night. And remember, one of the most important things a leader can do in a rapidly developing, difficult situation is to calm people down, stick to the facts, and keep your uninformed opinions to yourself.

[Ronny Chieng]

We do not know what led to this crash, but we have some very strong opinions and ideas, and I think we'll probably state those opinions now.

[Trevor Noah]

I mean, or. Or we can just speculate wildly. Why not? I get a little bit nervous when Trump has a strong opinion. You know, it's. It's never something unifying, like sunsets are beautiful or love is the answer. But this is a new term, and he's only a few days in, so let's give him the benefit of the doubt. What's Trump's opinion about what happened in.

[Ronny Chieng]

D.C. the FAA's diversity push. A big push to put diversity into the FAA's program, the agency's guidance on diversity hiring, the FAA's diversity and inclusion hiring plan.

[Trevor Noah]

Damn you, diversity initiatives. Why are you responsible for every historical tragedy? The fires in Los Angeles dei. The bridge collapse in Baltimore dei. The Irish potato famine DEI slavery dei. Did you ever notice how many minorities were at slavery? It's all DEI. Just to be clear, Mr. President, you have evidence that diversity initiatives are responsible for this tragic crash. You're not just. Right.

[Jordan Klepper]

Right.

[Ronny Chieng]

I'm trying to figure out how you.

[Trevor Noah]

Can come to the conclusion right now.

[Desi Lydic]

That diversity had something to do with this crash?

[Ronny Chieng]

Because I have common sense.

[Trevor Noah]

There you go. No, no, no, no. There you go, there you go. He has common sense. It's just a coincidence that his common sense happens to align with his long held prejudices. So let's spin the big wheel of blame to see which minorities are responsible for this crash. Who will it be this time? Black people? Lesbians? Trans Armenians?

[Ronny Chieng]

The FAA is actively recruiting workers who suffer severe intellectual disabilities, psychiatric problems, and other mental and physical conditions under a diversity and inclusion hiring initiative. They include hearing vision, missing extremities, partial paralysis, complete paralysis, epilepsy, and dwarfism.

[Trevor Noah]

Dwarfism? I can't believe it. It's only day 10, and Trump is already this far down his list of scapegoats. He's blown past race and gender, and now he's hitting door. Is he really suggesting there was a plane crash because someone with dwarfism worked in air traffic control? Does Trump think they couldn't see the control panel and they were just reaching up and pushing buttons, hoping it would work out? Hold on. I just want to say that people with dwarfism are just like everyone else. In fact, their penises are normal size, which means proportionally, they're huge. So in a way, you could say that I'm the one looking up to them.

[Ronny Chieng]

Thank you.

[Trevor Noah]

That's a thinker. That's a thinker. A lot of different layers in there. You might be thinking, well, that's progress. You know, he used to blame everything on past administrations, but don't worry, he got them in there, too.

[Ronny Chieng]

We had a very good policy, and then Biden came in and he changed it. And Biden went by a standard that's the exact opposite. The faa, which is overseen by Secretary Pete Buttigieg, a real winner. You know how badly everything's run since he's run. The Department of Transportation, Obama, Biden, and the Democrats, they put politics at a level that nobody's ever seen. I changed the Obama standards from very mediocre at best to extraordinary.

[Trevor Noah]

I'm sorry, you're blaming Obama, the guy from three presidents ago? Forget blaming a fart on your dog. This is blaming the fart on your dog that died when you were 8. I still think about you, Henry. Such stinky farts he had. Look, Mr. President, I know you're scared that people might hold you responsible now that you're president because you're the president, Mr. President, and it's time to just be a man, okay? Real men don't point fingers. Real men find solutions. Real men show leadership. Real men moisturize. Guys, you gotta take care of your skin. You gotta take care of your skin.

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah.

[Trevor Noah]

The skin is the biggest organ on the body. Unless you're dwarf, then it's the second biggest.

[Desi Lydic]

We all know Donald Trump, isn't it Details kind of guy. We elected him to come up with big brilliant ideas like renaming the Gulf of Mexico. No one else could have thought of that or should have thought of that. But it's okay that he's not big on details because during the campaign he promised us that he knew a guy.

[Ronny Chieng]

I'm going to appoint Elon Musk, who's a fantastic guy, to lead a government efficiency commission tasked with saving trillions of dollars in fraud, waste and abuse. We have tremendous fat. Tremendous fat.

[Desi Lydic]

Don't take the bait, Desi. Don't take the bait. Be the bigger person. Be the bigger person. Okay? That's right. Elon Musk, the world's richest man and guy who cheers in the wrong parts of Saving Private Ryan. Trump promised us that he'd give Elon Musk full access to the federal government. Pull it to the side and get all up in it. And unlike his wedding vows, this is a promise he kept. Elon Musk's sweeping push to make over the federal government, sparking democratic panic and warnings of a constitutional crisis.

[Trevor Noah]

Now we have learned that his team has gained access to something extraordinarily sensitive. The system that the Treasury Department uses to disperse almost every check and expenditure of any kind made by the US government.

[Desi Lydic]

That is a vast database with millions of Americans personal information on it. Yeah. Yeah. Elon Musk has access to your Social Security number, and that is not cool. If you want our personal data, Elon, you go buy it off the dark web like everyone else. Okay, now you might be thinking, I don't want white nationalist Tony Stark to have sole control of the inner workings of the federal government. But relax. It's not just Elon. He has a fully equipped team.

[Michael Kosta]

Longtime government employees this week were shocked to find that their new supervisors from Elon Musk's doge department include recent college and high school graduates between 19 and 24 years old. One of the young men is apparently a former intern at Musk Musk's Neuralink company, who goes by the online handle Big Balls.

[Desi Lydic]

Great Big Balls. Has my Social Security number. Now I feel better. But Elon Musk isn't the only one having people finger banging their eggs Florentine with excitement. Donald Trump is also reducing the government workforce, although his interests seem to be less about cost cutting and more about sweet, sweet revenge.

[Ronny Chieng]

Tremendous unrest inside the FBI as prosecutors and agents who worked on the January.

[Trevor Noah]

6Th investigation are being targeted. It looks like a wholesale purge of the FBI. As you know already, the eight top officials at the Federal Bureau of Investigation have either been fired or forced to resign. Now the FBI is being asked to produce a list of every employee who worked on any case related to January 6th. I am told this is some 6,000 FBI employees all told.

[Desi Lydic]

What the these agents were doing their job, enforcing the law, and now they're getting fired. That is not how it works. I cannot believe I have to explain firing to the star of the Apprentice. That was your whole fake job. And this is obviously just the beginning because Trump is going to be targeting everyone that's ever come after him. And I just want to say I'm not scared. So, Mr. Trump, bring it on, okay? Bring it on. That's coming from me. Jordan Klepper K L E P P E R.

[Michael Kosta]

This morning, a stunning proposal from an American president, Donald Trump, with the Israeli Prime Minister by his side, declaring that the US Will take over the Gaza Strip.

[Ronny Chieng]

The US Will take over the Gaza Strip. We'll own it.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay, let me just ask what and also what?

[Trevor Noah]

President Trump made a surprising suggestion last night during a press conference with Israeli Prime Minister Benjamin Netanyahu. The United States, he said, should take over the war torn Gaza Strip and redevelop it into something like a seaside resort.

[Ronny Chieng]

We have an opportunity to do something that could be phenomenal. And I don't want to be cute, I don't want to be a wise guy, but the Riviera of the Middle East.

[Desi Lydic]

What the. Trump is gonna turn Gaza into the Riviera? He couldn't even turn Atlantic City into a nicer Atlantic City.

[Jordan Klepper]

Crazy.

[Desi Lydic]

If anything, they tore down so many of his casinos. He turned Atlantic City City into Gaza. But okay, he wants to rebuild it and he wants to turn it into Mar a Lago. At least the Palestinians will have a place to go back to.

[Michael Kosta]

Donald Trump calling for the permanent resettlement of roughly 2 million Palestinians.

[Ronny Chieng]

I don't think people should be going back to Gaza. I think that Gaza has been very unlucky for them.

[Michael Kosta]

And he says he's willing to use the US Military to do it.

[Ronny Chieng]

We'll do what. If it's necessary, we'll do that.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay, just so I'm clear, your idea is to take over Gaza, rebuild it into Mar a Lago, and make sure that the Palestinians who live there can't go back. That is the craziest thing he said since yesterday and until tomorrow. Even his chief of staff staff was shocked. Look at that. Look at her face. She looks just like she won best country album at the Grammy. And of course she's shocked. He's effectively advocating for ethnic cleansing. Who could possibly be okay with that?

[Trevor Noah]

You see things others refuse to see, you say things others refuse to say.

[Desi Lydic]

And after the jaws drop, people scratch.

[Jordan Klepper]

Their heads and they say, you know, he's right.

[Desi Lydic]

No, they usually scratch their heads and they say, what the are you talking about? Of course Phoebe is ex ecstatic at Trump's idea. Look at him. He looks happier than a teenager getting a handjob in the back of a BirthRight bus. But BB aside, this proposal is giving a lot of people whiplash. Trump ran his whole campaign on America first, and now he's out there chanting from the Riviera to the sea. Yesterday, Donald Trump unveiled his big plan to relocate Gaza and turn their homeland into the world's holiest Hard Rock hotel and casino. And today, the reviews are in. The Arab world hates it, Democrats condemn it, Republicans have problems with it, and the Palestinians won't abide by it. Or as Trump says, we asked about your gospel proposal.

[Trevor Noah]

A lot of people are talking about.

[Ronny Chieng]

Obviously, everybody loves it.

[Desi Lydic]

I stand corrected. I guess everybody loves it. And even though the plan was totally perfect in every way, his staff spent the entire next day walking back every single part of it.

[Michael Kosta]

The president said his intention was to remove Palestinians from Gaza permanently if we.

[Ronny Chieng]

Can get a beautiful area to resettle people permanently.

[Michael Kosta]

But today the press secretary said it would be temporary.

[Desi Lydic]

The president has made it clear that they need to be temporarily relocated out of Gaza for the rebuilding of this effort. Aw. Trump's press secretary just had her first walk back. This is an important rite of passage for Trump spokespeople, their bull mitzvah, if you will. She was spending so much time walking back the plan that at one point, she ran out of English words. This is an uninhabitable place for human beings. Yeah, so true. Remind me how it got unhabilibitable again. Even worse for Caroline. While she was scrambling to salvage Trump's plan, Trump was on truth Social, readjusting it on the fly, which left everybody even more confused.

[Trevor Noah]

Breaking Just a short time ago, President Trump seemed to backtrack, but also to.

[Desi Lydic]

Double down on his plan to take over Gaza.

A backtrack and a double down. And now, on the uneven bars, Donald Trump will attempt the rare Combination, backtrack, double down, and let's see if he breaks every bone in his body. But while his team tries to fix his Gaza plan, Donald Trump has already moved on because he's basically the norovirus. Every day, he spews executive orders all over the place. And while we struggle to clean up all the puke, he comes out the other end with something even worse. He tried to buy out the entire workforce of the CIA. His DOJ is going after anyone who's investigated him. And now he has defeated America's biggest threat. At the White House today, President Trump.

[Michael Kosta]

Signing an executive order banning transgender women and girls from competing in women's sports.

[Ronny Chieng]

With this executive order, the war on women's sports is over. We are putting every school receiving taxpayer dollars on notice that if you let men take over women's sports teams or invade your locker rooms, you will be investigated for violations of Title 9 and riskier federal funding.

[Desi Lydic]

You notice how he paused right before invade your locker rooms? Like, maybe we won't make that illegal. Should have proofread this. Look, it's bad enough that he's banned trans women from sports, but spare us the performance of pretending that this is a top issue for women in this country. Maybe start with, I don't know, reproductive rights or pay inequality, or why it's 2025 and still none of my clothes have pockets. Now, you might be wondering, is this really going to be the entire Trump presidency, just divisive executive orders every day for the next four years? Probably. But on the bright side, he did have one executive order today that felt relatively harmless.

[Ronny Chieng]

I have signed an executive order to resume the process of creating a new national park full of statues of the greatest Americans who ever lived. It would be called the National Garden of American Heroes. And I hope that Congress will fully fund this wonderfully unifying project at the first possible opportunity.

[Desi Lydic]

Excuse me, sir. Americans already have a national garden and it sells unlimited breadsticks. I never thought I'd say this, but, Elon, I got some government waste for you right here. Does anyone have the phone number of the Department of Government Efficiency? Actually, they're all 12 year olds. Does anyone have the Roblox usernames of the Department of Government Efficiency?

[Ronny Chieng]

Here's.

[Jordan Klepper]

And I'm going to, you know, drop some knowledge here. No one really cared about the game because of the earth shattering announcement that had been made moments prior.

[Ronny Chieng]

You know, we're flying over right now, we're flying over a thing called the Gulf of America, and I'm signing a proclamation and Perhaps you could define that.

[Jordan Klepper]

First of all, why do you fly around in a Hyatt hotel room? Second of all, define proclamation. You don't know what a. Or did you just want her to say what the actual proc. I'm sorry, I interrupted. Go ahead.

[Michael Kosta]

This is a proclamation declaring today, February 9, 2025, as the first ever Gulf of America Day.

[Ronny Chieng]

And we're flying right over it right now. So we thought this would be appropriate. Even bigger than the Super Bowl.

[Jordan Klepper]

It's true. Bigger than. In fact, my favorite thing about Gulf of America Day are the commercials. It's very historic. I'm sure we'll look back on this day fondly when America is swallowed up by the rising waters of the Gulf of America. You know, it turns out it's kind of a weird thing. Airplanes might not be the best place to make bigger than the super bowl announcements.

[Ronny Chieng]

Even bigger than the Super Bowl. This is a big thing. And almost everybody now has assented to that. Attention on board.

[Trevor Noah]

Ladies and gentlemen, if you could please.

[Jordan Klepper]

Direct your attention out the right side of the aircraft. Air Force One is currently in international.

[Trevor Noah]

Waters for the first time in history, flying over the recently renamed Gulf of America.

[Jordan Klepper]

First of all. Oh, my God, it shot him up even for just a second. I think airplane pilots must be the most powerful force in the universe. I feel like the Democrats have to get themselves an airplane pilot. Sorry for the interruption, but you can't do that. Maybe they'll let Schumer. Schumer will be the pilot, but forgive me, I've seemed to have forgotten. What does calling it Gulf of America do? Do we get all its fish now?

[Ronny Chieng]

Make America great again. Right? That's what we care about.

[Jordan Klepper]

Making America great again.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Jordan Klepper]

Everything Trump does is all part of making America great again. Order one, roll back everything from the previous not great administration. Regulations on the environment, regulations on the second Amendment, the Title IX guidance, and not just the big shit. You want to make America great again? You can't skimp on the details.

[Desi Lydic]

President Trump says he's going to reverse Joe Biden's mandate to phase out plastic straws, saying, enjoy your next drink without a straw that disgustingly dissolves in your mouth.

[Jordan Klepper]

You okay? He's right on this one. He is right on this one. Those straws are terrible. Objectively terr. I'm supposed to have some weird tissue paper dissolve in my mouth just cause turtles can't figure out straws aren't food. No, don't eat the tubes, you stupid turtles. So Trump is making America great again by taking us back to 2016. But obviously if we're going to make America great again, we can't stop in 2016. We got to keep pushing to that place when America was truly great. How much further back do we need to go? So, looks like it's the 70s. Oh, like you don't know who Burt Reynolds is. If you're gonna make us great, you're gonna have to roll further back than the 70s. What do you got?

[Ronny Chieng]

We're going to stop the destructive and divisive diversity, equity and inclusion.

[Jordan Klepper]

Yeah, the 70s won't fly. 70s was all about women's lib and stonewall. Now my friends, we got to go back further to make America great. And ladies, when we do go back, don't worry, it's all going to work out for you.

[Ronny Chieng]

You will no longer be thinking about abortion. Women will be happy, healthy, confident and free. Like everything else, it's a little bit different today. You're not allowed to say that because if you call a woman or a girl beautiful, that's the end of your career.

[Jordan Klepper]

Oh, you can't even say, hey, sugar tits. But ladies and gentlemen, we're gonna go back to the old days with regular tits, not the ones that disgustingly dissolve in your mouth. Jesus. But let's not stop in the 70s there, folks. Not even in the. Let's keep going because that sounds like the 50s and the 50s are still too inclusive. I mean, by then Italians and Irish were considered white. No, that's too far. Keep going back. America's greatness awaits.

[Ronny Chieng]

We were the richest country in the world. We were at our richest from 1870 to 1913. That's when we had. We were a tariff country.

[Jordan Klepper]

1870S. Okay, there we go, 1870s. And of course, while America presently is still pretty rich. Apologies, Luxembourg. Point taken. Who wouldn't trade our current environment for America's 1870s tariff driven, becandeled, tuberculosis laden pre industrial heyday.

[Ronny Chieng]

We were so wealthy we had commissions set up what to do with all the money that we were taking.

[Jordan Klepper]

In quick point of order though, to the extent that we were at our richest from 1870 to 1913, it wasn't so much we as like four guys and we called them robber barons as a sign of affection. Meanwhile, the rest of America, the leading cause of death, was falling into a vat at work. And it got to the point where even the robber barons realized that the only way this glorious era in American history was going to end was either full scale revolution or reasonable compromise. Which is how we ended up with stuff like income tax and labor laws and workplace safety guarantees. So let's really tread carefully in the greatness way back machine.

[Trevor Noah]

Arizona House Republican Andy Biggs introduced a bill this week that would abolish osha.

[Desi Lydic]

A Department of labor agency tasked with.

[Trevor Noah]

Overseeing workplace safety, to the vats.

[Jordan Klepper]

And fill mine with boiling tallow. Boy. What? What? Why not just bring back child labor while you're at it?

[Ronny Chieng]

When you talk about school lunches. Hey, I worked my way through high school.

[Jordan Klepper]

I don't know about you, but I.

[Ronny Chieng]

Worked since I was. Before I was even 13 years old. I was picking berries in the field.

[Trevor Noah]

Before we had chopped labor laws that precluded that.

[Jordan Klepper]

You were picking berries in a field before your bar mitzvah. I mean, by the way, how old are you? If you were picking berries before there were child labor laws because you look great is the key to good skin working the fields as a child. Now, I hate to bring this up, but if we are going back to the 1870s and before, does that include every diversity initiative?

[Ronny Chieng]

Birthright citizenship was. If you look back when this was passed and made, that was meant for the children of slaves. This was not meant for the whole world to come in, everybody coming in and totally unqualified people with perhaps a unqualified children.

[Jordan Klepper]

Don't bring us your tired and poor huddled masses. Do you have any mathletes? Any doogies? Hauser? We will take all of your Sheldons, young and old. For those of you at home who might fear that the President's desire to take us back to our nation's historic greatness may tread into unconstitutional action, fear not, because the brilliant design of our nation allows for the co equal branch of the judiciary to stand as a bulwark against tyranny. As judged in the landmark decision of 1803, Marbury vs Madison, which, as you know, is when James Madison lost the historic Supreme Court case to Stephon Marbury Marbury ran him out of the building and established our foundational separation of powers.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Vice President J.D.

[Trevor Noah]

Vance, he had some interesting words about the separation of power and government, he's for it.

[Desi Lydic]

If a judge tried to tell a general how to conduct a military operation.

[Trevor Noah]

That would be illegal.

[Desi Lydic]

If a judge tried to command the Attorney General on how to use her discretion as a prosecutor, that's also illegal. Judges aren't allowed to control the executive's legitimate power.

[Jordan Klepper]

Of course they're allowed to adjudicate the boundaries of that power. That's the whole point of the judiciary, to interpret whether those powers are legitimate. You went to law school Mother. The alternative is that the only alternative is that the executive determines for himself what is constitutional. At which point there would be no guardrails against. Oh, hey, Congress. Hey, buddy, you got a little separation of powers problem. I was wondering, any chance you might be reasserting your authority? Opposition party Democrats, you ready to do some oppositioning?

[Roy Wood Jr.]

There are some things we can do.

[Trevor Noah]

But the Republicans are in the majority in the Senate and the House. We're going to need some Republicans, frankly, who are willing to lose, who are.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Willing to be a Liz Cheney and.

[Trevor Noah]

Say, I will lose my seat to do the right thing by this country, not the right thing by Donald Trump.

[Desi Lydic]

I haven't seen it yet.

Let's hope Democratic Congressman Dan Goldman of New York.

[Jordan Klepper]

That's the sales pitch. We just need someone on their side willing to lose everything for progress. Like a Russian dog being shot into space. You can see the Democrats backbone on our new show, America Backslide, starring Dan Goldman as hopeful loser.

[Desi Lydic]

Donald Trump has been imposing a lot of tariffs since he took office. And if the nature and scope of these tariffs confuses you, don't worry, you're not the only one.

[Trevor Noah]

Thank you, Sir.

[Desi Lydic]

Next. In 2018, you imposed ad valorem duties.

[Trevor Noah]

Tariffs on imports of steel at a 25% rate. Since that time, a large number of exclusions and exceptions to that tariff rule.

[Desi Lydic]

Have been implemented because of the damage to the United States steel industry that.

[Trevor Noah]

Those exceptions and exclusions have imposed. Where now this order would reimpose that 25% ad valorem tariff rate on imports of steel. And it's presented for your signature now.

[Ronny Chieng]

Okay. Do you understand what that means?

[Desi Lydic]

Do you understand what that means? I mean, why don't you tell me, President of the United States, what this means? Explain ad valorem to me like I was a child. This is Trump's own policy and he's so bored by it. And you can tell because at one point he gets so bored, he just starts peeking into a random folder on the desk. Like, what's in here, Candy? Picture of boobs. What do we got? Oh, oh, just more falters. Why is this guy still talking? Yesterday was a busy day at the White House. First, Trump met with the King of Jordan, the country. Jordan. You're not the boss of me. King Abdullah ii. Okay. Of course, Trump invited the King to discuss his plan to displace 2 million people and turn Gaza into the Atlantic City of the Middle east. Which sounds pretty clear cut to me, but apparently the nitpickers and the media still have questions.

[Trevor Noah]

You've said before that, the US Would buy Gaza.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

And today you just said, we're not.

[Trevor Noah]

Going to buy Gaza, we're not going.

[Ronny Chieng]

To have to buy. We're not going to buy anything. We're going to have it and we're going to keep it and we're going to make sure that there's going to be peace and there's not going to be any problem and nobody's going to question it.

[Desi Lydic]

There's no problem and nobody's going to question it. Trump is like a Jedi who doesn't have the force. I'll take Gaza. Nobody's gonna question it. Nobody. Is this thing working? Is this thing. Trump has another plan to convince the haters. A charm offensive.

[Ronny Chieng]

It's a war torn area. We're gonna take it, we're gonna hold it, we're gonna cherish it.

[Desi Lydic]

Oh, okay, so it's going to be an ethnic cherishing. I got it. Okay, Okay. I mean, how did that start like a Mussolini speech and end as a Boyz II Men song? We will take the land it will be ours and we're gonna make love to you like you want us to and I'll hold it tight, baby all through the night. One thing I find weird about Donald Trump saying he wants to run Gaza is that from what we've seen so far, he barely wants to run the United States. For weeks, people have been raising alarms about how Trump seems to be handing way too much power over to Elon Musk. And yesterday Trump replied, I hear you. You want me to give more power to Elon Musk. President Trump setting new guidelines for hiring.

[Trevor Noah]

In the federal workforce while giving more.

[Desi Lydic]

Power to Elon Musk and his team.

[Trevor Noah]

At the Department of Government Efficiency, or doge. A new executive order directs government agencies to pursue large scale cuts, saying they now need hiring approval from Doge.

[Desi Lydic]

Yes, Elon Musk is now in charge of all government hirings. Hyrance. So I didn't say that. Right, right. I didn't say it. Right.

[Trevor Noah]

Yeah.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay. Okay. I don't know why I keep Hitler misspeaking. I don't know why I keep misspeaking. So this was already a pretty unusual thing for a president to do, but Trump being Trump, he had to make it even more ridiculous by introducing it with a full on circus act in the Oval Office. And look at this scene. Musk is holding court with his hands tented like a Bond villain. Probably to stop him from doing a Nazi salute with his four year old child in tow. I mean, that poor kid, his dad literally runs SpaceX and Elon took him to a meeting on federal spending. Dad, are we gonna get to see the rockets? No, son. We're gonna discuss budgets because I'm a shitty dad. Everything about this event was so bizarre. Trump was sitting quietly for half an hour, retreating to his happy place, thinking about Arnold Palmer's giant doge. And who thought cloning Stephen Miller was a good idea. I mean, it's a pretty. I mean, they look like a before and even more before picture. Okay.

[Trevor Noah]

All right.

[Desi Lydic]

Leaving aside this Renaissance painting done by the dogs playing poker guy, it's good that we have Elon Musk here because we've been watching him slashing programs and shuttering agencies for months. And we can finally ask Elon, why are you doing this?

[Trevor Noah]

If the people cannot vote and have.

[Ronny Chieng]

Their will be decided by their elected.

[Trevor Noah]

Representatives in the form of the President.

[Desi Lydic]

And the Senate and the House, then.

[Trevor Noah]

We don't live in a democracy. We live in a bureaucracy.

[Desi Lydic]

So it's incredibly important that the President.

[Trevor Noah]

The House and the Senate decide what happens, as opposed to a large, unelected bureaucracy.

[Desi Lydic]

Wow.

[Trevor Noah]

Wha.

[Desi Lydic]

Wow. I mean, you see why this guy's a genius. You don't want an unelected bureaucrat running the country. It makes a lot of sense. No questions here. I do have one question, though. Isn't that you? I mean, I mean, am I, am I going crazy because it feels like I'm watching Drake sing? Not like us at karaoke. Like, does he not know? Remember during the campaign, Donald Trump made some big promises about how quickly and easily he was going to end that war.

[Ronny Chieng]

If I'm president, I will have that war settled in one day. 24 hours. I would tell Putin, gotta settle. I. I would tell Zelensky, you gotta settle. I would get a settlement in 24 hours. No longer than one day. I can get it ended. As President elect, I will get it settled before I even become president.

[Desi Lydic]

I'm gonna do it back to the future and end this war before it even starts. Go back in time, kiss my mom, maybe have sex with her. What am I talking about?

[Ronny Chieng]

What was I talking about?

[Desi Lydic]

So here we are, one month in, into that first 24 hours, and Donald Trump is finally ready to negotiate. But it's going to be tough. Which is why he started out with a quick warm up negotiation. First, an old fashioned prisoner swap with Russia. Let's see how it went.

[Michael Kosta]

Russia freed a wrongfully detained American teacher, Mark Fogel, returning to the US after more than three years in Russian captivity, imprisoned for carrying a small amount of medically prescribed marijuana in exchange, the US Releasing Russian cybercrime kingpin Alexander Vinnick.

[Desi Lydic]

What?

You traded a cybercrime kingpin for public school teacher Mark Fogel. This is like if the Dallas Mavericks traded Luka Doncic for public school teacher Mark Fogle. I mean, at least the teacher we got back is the cool teacher. He smokes weed and he's been to jail. I mean, you know, you know, he showed movies in fourth period. Also, Americans stop smoking weed in Russia. If you need to relax, try not being in Russia. Okay. Okay. Now that Trump got all warmed up, it's time for the main event.

[Michael Kosta]

This morning, President Trump pledging to meet with Russian President Putin in person after announcing they've agreed to start negotiations immediately to end the war in Ukraine.

[Desi Lydic]

President Trump saying, quote, I just had a lengthy and highly productive phone call with President Vladimir Putin of Russia. We discussed Ukraine, the Middle east, energy, artificial intelligence, the power of the dollar, and various other subjects.

I'd like to know what those various other subjects were. I mean, I mean, it's a tad suspicious. It's like a husband coming back from a Vegas bachelor party saying, yeah, we ate some great food. We saw the sphere, did various other things. Anyway, you should get a prescription for Valtrex. So Trump has now set the stage for face to face negotiations with Putin on the future of Ukraine. But Trump won't be going into this alone. He also has Defense Secretary Pete Pete Hegseth, a man who does not take no for an answer, according to police reports. So get ready, Putin, because you're about to face the toughest negotiations of your life.

[Michael Kosta]

Pete Hegseth, speaking at NATO headquarters during his first trip to Europe, was blunt, saying Ukraine's long sought membership in NATO isn't realistic. Neither is thinking Ukraine can regain all the territory Russia has seized.

[Trevor Noah]

We must start by rapid recognizing that returning to Ukraine's pre2014 borders is an.

[Michael Kosta]

Unrealistic objective measures that will likely be welcomed by Putin, prompting questions about whether Trump is giving up his leverage to negotiate with Russia.

[Trevor Noah]

Speaking in unusually blunt terms, the German defense minister accusing the Trump administration of making concessions to Putin before these peace negotiations have even.

[Desi Lydic]

Okay, so before negotiations even start, America gave up the two things Russia most wants. I mean, how do Hagseth and Trump not know how to negotiate between the two of them? They've been divorced 97 times. I mean, if your opening move is giving away the house, the car and the kids, best case scenario, you're leaving court with half. I mean, no one's going to be Happy with that. Except for maybe RFK Jr. But I guess there's still plenty of stuff to negotiate. For example, you know, which animal will Zelensky be fed to once the Russians take over? Probably a lion, but could be a shark. You know, there's room there. Whichever animal it is, it will probably fall out of a window. Regardless, Trump is not going to go driving a hard bargain on Ukraine's behalf, and that's fine. But as long as Ukraine is an equal member of this peace process, they'll get some of what they want.

Do you view Ukraine as an equal.

[Ronny Chieng]

Member of this peace process? Um, it's an interesting question.

[Desi Lydic]

Yikes. That's like when my dentist asked if I floss. That's an interesting question. I gotta go. Okay, so this is not looking good for Ukraine. Imagine not even being invited to your own peace negotiations. It's like if your wife told you she wanted a threesome and then asked what night she'll be away on business. Have so much fun, sweetie. I'm strong enough. It's okay. I had it coming. After Vegas. Now, you might think it's unfair to put Ukraine in this position after they were the ones invaded, but that's not exactly how Trump sees things.

[Ronny Chieng]

I think they have to make peace. Their people are being killed and I think they have to make peace. I said that was not a good war to go into.

[Desi Lydic]

Not a good war to go into. They were invaded. It wasn't their idea. Little advice for the back of Abraham Lincoln's head. Don't get hit by a bullet. Not smart. Look.

Here.

Clearly this is going to be a complex negotiation, and it couldn't have come at a worse time for Trump, cuz he's also busy with his second job. Last week, he declared himself the chairman of Washington's Kennedy center for the Arts, the government's premier arts institution. And if you're thinking, wait, Trump is completely unqualified to think about art, don't worry, he brought along an equally unqualified board to help him out.

[Trevor Noah]

He was elected by a board that he recently shook up, replacing appointees by Democratic presidents with Trump loyalists. As for the board, it now includes Attorney General Pam Bondi, Second Lady Usha Vance, Chief of Staff Susie Wiles, Deputy Chief of Staff Dan Scamino. Alex, who's the Commerce Secretary's wife?

[Desi Lydic]

Okay, okay, first of all, what's up with this photo? Oh, you need a headshot of Mr. Scavino. Unfortunately, the only picture that exists of him is from when he walked in on his parents bumping uglies but hey, Donald Trump loves arts and entertainment and you can hear his genuine passion in a phone call he had with the board.

[Ronny Chieng]

I think we're going to do something very special. It got very wokey and some people were not happy with it and some people refused to go. And we're not going to have that. We're going to have something that will be very, very exciting and we'll do things both physically and in every other way to make the building look even better. I think we're going to make it hot. And we made the presidency hot. So this should be easy.

[Desi Lydic]

I'm sorry, hot. Only Trump would look at a building and go, eh, unable.

Let's kick things off. With the war in Ukraine, Donald Trump promised he could secure a peace deal within one day of taking office, which means he is now negative, 34 days ahead of schedule. Good work. As we know, the Ukraine war began in 2022 when Putin invaded Ukraine on three separate fronts while launching missile attacks on Ukrainian cities. Or as Donald Trump puts it, President.

[Trevor Noah]

Trump has made a series of false assertions blaming Ukraine for starting the war.

[Ronny Chieng]

You should have never started it. You could have made a deal.

[Desi Lydic]

That's an interesting interpretation in that it's not what happened. In fact it's. But it's the exact opposite of what happened. And this has set off alarm bells for a lot of conservatives, including Brian Kilmeade, Trump's buddy, and the Joey Tribbiani of Fox and Friends he tried to gently push back when Trump started to blame the destruction of Ukraine on President Zelensky.

[Ronny Chieng]

You have a man who's led a country that had the most beautiful cities, that they demolished, had the most beautiful domes. Those domes, domes are the most beautiful.

[Trevor Noah]

But it's all Russia's. But that's Russia's fault.

[Ronny Chieng]

They're all demolished. A thousand year old domes and everything's demolished. But Mr. President, that's all this is, that's Vladimir Putin's fault.

[Trevor Noah]

Don't you agree?

[Ronny Chieng]

I get tired of listening to it. He makes it very hard to make deals. But look what's happened to his country. It's been demolished. But no, no, I hear you. He's going to go back.

[Trevor Noah]

Mr. President, you know who's a blame for that?

[Ronny Chieng]

Don't you think it's Vladimir Putin that.

[Trevor Noah]

Did the invasion unwarranted to try to take back land he had no right to. And don't you think fundamentally that's that? And if you could just get. Now, now both sides want to talk. It seems so. We should just get to that point.

[Ronny Chieng]

They only want to talk because of me.

[Desi Lydic]

But this is how off the rails Trump is. His beloved Fox News is saying, Mr. President, you sound crazy. And I believe DEI causes tornadoes. And he's right. Not about the DEI causing tornadoes. We all know trans people cause tornadoes. But about this war. Under Donald Trump, America has fully taken Russia's side, which means, are we the bad guys now? Well, that didn't answer that, but I think we might be the bad guys. It's not just Republicans who are alarmed. The entire continent of Europe is freaking the out. If the United States will help Russia take over Ukraine, who's next? Poland? Latvia? Slovenia? Slovakia? Albania? Estonia. Yeah, I got a 97 in AP geography. Thank you. Thank you. I would have gotten 100, but I misspelled my name. So, yesterday, Europe tried to get Trump back on its side by sending over its most charismatic Trump whisperer, Emmanuel Macron of France. And right from the start of that meeting, you could really see how he let his scar down.

[Jordan Klepper]

Par la discretion sur les minor critiques.

[Ronny Chieng]

That is the most beautiful language. I have no idea what he's saying, but that is the elegant, beautiful language.

[Desi Lydic]

Yeah, Trump just loves a French accent, probably because it's the native tongue of his hero, Pepe Le Pew. Something about that pervert skunk that Trump finds so relatable. But Macron's accent gives him a lot of leeway to gently correct Trump every time he spews bullshit.

[Trevor Noah]

I mean, this war costed all of us a lot of money, and this is the responsibility of Russia, because the aggressor is Russia.

[Ronny Chieng]

Europe is loaning the money to Ukraine. They get their money back.

[Trevor Noah]

No, in fact, to be frank, we paid. We paid 60% of the total efforts, and it was through, like, the US.

[Ronny Chieng]

Loans guarantee grants, and we provided real money.

[Desi Lydic]

Look at him. Look at that smile. The guy is smitten. Usually, if someone confronts him about being wrong, he takes away their security detail, but he's letting Macron do whatever he wants. I think a sexy accent is his kryptonite. I assumed it was vegetables, but to be fair, it's not just Macron. Trump was swooning over anyone with a sexy accent.

[Trevor Noah]

I want to know, what is your idea about ebay? If you want to make the same thing.

[Ronny Chieng]

Can you talk a little louder? You have a beautiful voice, but you're.

[Trevor Noah]

Not in this day.

[Ronny Chieng]

Where are you from?

[Trevor Noah]

Italy.

[Ronny Chieng]

From Italy. Oh, I love Italy.

[Trevor Noah]

Oh.

[Desi Lydic]

Oh, Italy. I love that restaurant with the grocery store attached. Oh, now. Love it. So good. Tell Me. Which section are you from? Fromaggio Produce. Self checkout. By the way, Trump is the only person on earth who has ever asked an Italian person to talk louder. Of course, as we saw last week, not every accent does it for him. Sometimes it just confuses him.

[Trevor Noah]

Mr. President, people in India would be.

[Desi Lydic]

Welcoming your decision to extradite Thaburana to.

[Ronny Chieng]

I can't understand a word he's saying.

[Desi Lydic]

Dude, come on. If you don't understand what someone is saying, don't be rude and dismiss them. Just laugh and go, oh, my God, that's so crazy. Like a normal person. I mean, is Trump sure that he wants to be president? Because this is the worst job in the world if you don't understand accents. It's like working as an escort if you're still not 100% sure which hole it's supposed to go in. Although, would that actually make you a great escort? I guess we'll never know. By the way, if you're wondering how tough Indian accents are for Trump, he had to get a translator for it. Not for the language, for the accent.

[Trevor Noah]

It is evident that how the deep state of United States was involved with. So what is your point of view.

[Desi Lydic]

About the Bangladesh and what is the.

[Roy Wood Jr.]

Role that the deep state played in the situation in Bangladesh?

[Desi Lydic]

I can't believe Doge is going around looking for inefficiencies. Meanwhile, Trump has an English to English translator. But if you do have to have a translator for accent, why does the translator also have an accent? Maybe the plan was to have a string of translators with slightly less of an accent until they finally got to something Trump could process. Eventually, it'll just be the word Bangladesh written across the boobs of a swimsuit model. Oh, now I get it. Anyway, back to Macron. Now, you might think that it's not wise for Europe to hinge its survival on seductive power of Macron's accent, but Trump himself admitted that it works.

[Ronny Chieng]

I just want to tell you a little story. So we were at the Eiffel Tower having dinner with your wonderful wife. And. With my wonderful wife. And we came out and he started speaking the French. Deal. And we didn't have an interpreter. And he was going on and on and on, and I was just nodding, yes, yes, yes. And he really sold me out, because I got back the next day and I read they said, that's not what we said. He's a smart customer, I will tell you that.

[Desi Lydic]

Hold on, hold on. Forget the accent. What was going on with that handshake? Are they doing the no, you hang up, but with their hands. Trump has been getting some stuff done. For example, yesterday he signed an executive order that forces hospitals to be transparent with their prices. And look, that seems like a good idea, and I am perfectly capable of admitting it. When Donald Trump did something good. When Donald Trump did something good. When Donald Trump did something good. I can't say it. I can't say it. Why is this so hard? Thank God those don't come along very often. Of course, because it's Donald Trump. Most people will never hear about this price transparency thing because at the same meeting, he seemed more interested in doing stuff like this.

[Ronny Chieng]

Do you have one of those Trump was right about everything hats? Give me this. Here. Give me all of them. Look. Yes. See that? Trump was right about everything. It just came in. Somebody said. I said, this was sent in by a fan. I said, I think we should make some of them right. But we were pretty much, you want one?

[Desi Lydic]

Okay, first of all, that is way too much text, guys. If your hat needs a bookmark, it's not a good hat. And look, I hate to quibble with the hat, but Trump wasn't right about everything. Okay, There were a couple of small things. I don't know. Haitian immigrants weren't eating cats and dogs. There wasn't $50 million worth of condoms sent to Gaza. Belgium is not a City. The 2020 election wasn't stolen. China doesn't operate the Panama Canal, nor does it, and the best taco bowls are not made at the Trump Tower Grill. But, yes, other than that, Trump was right about everything. Now, I'm not trying to be a hater, but if you're going to own a hat with a ridiculous lie on it, at least make it a fun, ridiculous lie. Which is why I'm selling these. Garfield did 911 hats get yours today before he finishes the job? But obviously, Trump didn't bring everybody into the Oval Office just to sell hats. He was there to sell something much more fancy.

[Ronny Chieng]

We're going to be selling a gold card. You have a green card. This is a gold card. We're going to be putting a price on that card of about $5 million, and that's going to give you green card privileges plus.

[Desi Lydic]

Oh, oh, green card privileges plus. See, I was still getting America with ads. Quick question, quick question. If I'm unhappy with America, can I cancel my subscription after seven days? I am curious. What does this gold card do?

[Ronny Chieng]

It's going to be a route to citizenship. And wealthy people will be coming into our country by buying this card. They'll be wealthy and they'll be successful and they'll be spending a lot of money.

[Desi Lydic]

Did this guy just put a cover charge on America? It's $5 million to get in, but he'll waive it if you bring in three hot girls with you. I mean, I guess it beats the old way of becoming a citizen, which was to marry Donald Trump, but still, I feel like immigrant stories are going to be a lot less inspiring in the future. My grandfather came to this country with nothing but $5 million and the clothes in his custom Louis Vuitton five piece trunk set. Although I have to admit, I don't totally hate the idea of buying your way into a country. Hey, Canada, how you doing, girl? I'm just gonna come out and say it. I wanna be in you. And listen, I don't have $5 million, but I do have $4 and a cotton drop and this orange hat. Let's talk aboot it now. You might be thinking, wait a second, if the US Is just going to put citizenship up for sale, doesn't that mean that any monster can buy one as long as they're rich? Well, according to Trump, would a Russian.

[Trevor Noah]

Oligarch be eligible for a gold card?

[Ronny Chieng]

Yeah, possibly. Hey, I know some Russian oligarchs that are very nice people. It's possible.

[Desi Lydic]

Seems like Trump watched Honora and his takeaway from that movie was, we need to do more to help out that rich Russian teenager. He's so good at sex. But if you're letting Russians come into the country, you gotta be careful, okay? I don't want to engage in stereotypes, but if you let a Russian in, then there's gonna be a smaller Russian inside of him and then an even smaller Russian inside of him. And on and on and on. There's always another.

[Trevor Noah]

Explore more shows from the Daily show podcast universe by searching the Daily Show. Wherever you get your podcast, watch the Daily show weeknights at 1110 Central on Comedy Central and stream full episodes anytime on Paramount plus Paramount podcasts.