Amy Was Ready to Defend Herself… Then She Found the “Intruder”

Summary

The Dale Jr. Download – Episode Summary

Episode Title: "Amy Was Ready to Defend Herself… Then She Found the 'Intruder'"
Release Date: August 6, 2026
Host: Dale Earnhardt Jr., joined by Amy (his wife), Ralph/Travis (producer)
Podcast: The Dale Jr. Download (Dirty Mo Media, SiriusXM)

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Overview

This episode offers a behind-the-scenes look at Dale Jr. and Amy’s recent whirlwind trip to Costa Rica with family, marked by hilarious mishaps, jump rope victories, reflexive daydreaming about dumping it all for boat life, and Amy’s brush with a supposed “intruder” at home. The show is full of the playful banter, friendly ribbing, and candid marital conversations that have defined their on-air chemistry — blending stories from racing, family vacations, and everyday life. Key themes include embracing change, lessons in flexibility, family dynamics, getting older, and the realities—plus fantasies—of “living the dream.”

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Dale’s Stomach Bug & (Mis)adventures in Home Remedies

• Timestamp: 02:34 – 05:46
  • Post-vacation, Dale suffers a nasty stomach bug, leading Amy to dose him with “parasite tinctures.”
  • The crew debates the weirdness of the word “tincture,” with Dale resisting medical jargon:

    “I don't talk. I don't call things parasites. I say bug. It's my damn life, my choice.”

  • Amy provides updates on Dale’s convalescence: “He's still wearing his elastic waist pants. Just in case.”

2. Studio Shenanigans & In-Office Pranks

• Timestamp: 05:53 – 08:29
  • Running joke about other podcast guests moving Dale’s chair or trinkets, sparking conspiracies.
  • The panel considers escalating the prank wars with “Easter eggs” and hidden Barbies:

    Amy: “Y’ all gotta try a little harder...I would absolutely do that.”
    Ralph: “After the show, please move Dale's chair two inches to the right.”

3. Drink of the Week & Chopstick Trauma

• Timestamp: 08:55 – 13:42
  • Amy introduces “High Rock Punch” (the week’s drink: pineapple juice, orange juice, lemon-lime soda, rainbow sherbet, and High Rock Vodka).
  • Dale recounts a “grossed out” memory of being served metal chopsticks in Korea, sparking an existential crisis about restaurant utensils:

    “When you got a kick ass brain like mine...that’s what it does. It goes there.”
    “I want wooden chopsticks. If you're going to bring me chopsticks, I want the cheap 10 cent wooden that I'm going to throw away when I'm done.”

4. High Rock Vodka News & Texas Roadhouse Surprises

• Timestamp: 13:51 – 18:16
  • Dale and Amy discuss expanding vodka sales and the thrill of seeing their brand as mini bottles at liquor stores and Texas Roadhouse’s “Dale Yeah” drinks. Amy reflects on the fun of brand recognition.

5. Embracing Aging & Being “Junior”

• Timestamp: 20:30 – 24:15
  • Discussion of Dale’s graying hair, with Amy teasing:

    “He's got a little bit of…ginger in it, and the rest of him is like silver.”

  • Dale reflects on outgrowing his lifelong “junior” status:

    “I’m embracing this gray because now I feel like an old man. I’m not a junior anymore.”

6. Legendary Bad Hairstyles, Beard Experiments & Regrets

• Timestamp: 22:54 – 27:18
  • Dale recounts dyeing his goatee with Just for Men & straightening hair, including a disastrous attempt right before his sister's wedding—then winning Daytona with “badass bangs.”

    Amy: “Every time you say Brazilian I think you're talking about something else.”

  • Joke about Dale nearly dyeing his hair neon orange, channeling Gwen Stefani.

7. Hair & Aging Double Standards / The “Top 5 Hottest Guys”

• Timestamp: 29:05 – 35:16
  • Debate over letting hair go wild; Amy’s aversion to “Duck Dynasty” style.
  • Amy’s “Top 4” male lookers: Dale Jr., Clint Eastwood, Robert Redford, Brad Pitt.

8. Family Vacation Chronicles: Costa Rica Mayhem

• Gum-in-the-Hair Incident (36:31)
  • Uncle Dale gives the kids gum; little Nicole intentionally sticks it in cousin Eva’s hair:

    “This is not normal behavior.”

• Travel Fatigue & Control Issues (38:22 – 43:37)
  • Dale’s anxiety about group travel with family, struggle to give up “control,” and general vacation skepticism, looking for reasons to skip excursions.
• Long, Unexpected Excursion to Waterfall (43:47 – 52:49)
  • Multiple hour drive, rough roads, wildlife encounters, waterfall plunge.
  • Amy and Dale both admit, retroactively, the adventure was “worth it”—despite being unprepared.

9. Surfing Fears, Triumphs, and Kids Outsmarting Parents

• Timestamp: 54:46 – 60:50
  • Both recount learning to surf (Dale: “I was only upright for about 10 seconds…”)
  • Isla’s stubborn refusal to participate until she gets a private ride from her instructor (“like an Egyptian queen”).
  • Surfers and coaches praised for their kid-friendly approach; Dale surprised by how much the girls excelled.

10. Catamaran Dreaming: The Temptation of Boat Life

• Timestamp: 60:55 – 66:48
  • Dale and his brother-in-law Kobe hatch a plan to take a four-night catamaran trip (“…Could you imagine waking up and just being able to jump off the boat?”).
  • Amy expresses cautious skepticism at the notion of “living on a boat full time”—and fears Dale’s daydreams will become reality:

    “Your daydreams turn into real things.”

  • Playful debate: Dale as “captain” (in name only), plans scaling from “5 years to 4 nights.”

11. Amy vs. The Kitchen ‘Intruder’

• Timestamp: 70:28 – 73:07
  • Back from vacation, Amy describes a late-night scare: strange noises in the kitchen lead her to think she’s facing an intruder—but it’s the ice machine malfunctioning.

    “I get up and I'm looking around. I'm, like, slithering…around the couch, looking around that kitchen…It’s the damn ice machine, the refrigerator ice machine, just dropping ice all over the floor.”

12. Wedding Vow “Renewal” by the Kids

• Timestamp: 76:58 – 78:45
  • The kids stage an impromptu wedding: flower bouquets, white dresses, Amy walked down the living room “aisle” by her brother-in-law, officiated by niece Adelyn.

    Amy: “The whole thing was a play production for the kids. We did not even say real vows. Adeline didn't even know what to say. We were feeding her the lines and Dale was like, ‘Nope, not saying any of that. I'm so glad to be here.’”

  • Leads to jokes about “renewing the marriage subscription.”

13. Blind Ranking Game & Rapid Fire Fun

• Timestamp: 79:46 – 83:41
  • Food and country artist ranking game (“Pizza, liver mush, burrito, mozzarella sticks, buffalo shrimp”; Brooks & Dunn, Alan Jackson, Dwight Yoakam, Garth Brooks, George Strait).
  • Dale throws serious shade at mozzarella sticks:

    “Mozzarella sticks just aren't hitting like they did 20 years ago. They're usually frozen, crappy.”

14. Catamaran Catastrophes, “Brown Booby” Bird Incident & Boat Party Envy

• Timestamp: 83:41 – 86:15
  • Amy gets pooped on by a “brown booby” (seabird) during a catamaran ride, much to the glee of everyone onboard.
  • The family observes a raucous bachelorette party on a neighboring boat, the kids cheered on to jump; adults, not so much.

15. Guacamole Showdown & Vacation Food Memories

• Timestamp: 86:15 – 88:06
  • Ralph asks why “everyone claims their guacamole is the best.” Group recalls eating guac every day, debates proper lime juice ratio, shares stories of ridiculous hot salsa.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Amy, about Dale’s approach to getting older:
  "I've been a junior. I've been stuck in junior high your whole life, bless it." [22:09]

• Dale, on vacation control issues:
  "If something's going to happen, I kind of want to be on the—in the conversation. Not this trip." [39:45]

• Amy, on vacation mishaps:
  "My greatest fear is...someone's going to be standing over me in the middle of the night." [71:04]

• Dale, ambitions for boat life:
  "Could you imagine waking up in the morning and just being able to jump off the boat?" [69:00]

• Amy, after the vow renewal:
  "So how long is my subscription renewal?" [79:11]

• Dale, on marital contentment:
  "I'm content, too. But…I've been here a long time…There's more to life." [66:48]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |------------|----------------------------------------------| | 02:34 | Dale’s stomach bug and “tincture” battles | | 05:53 | Office pranks, chair shifting conspiracy | | 08:55 | Drink of the week, Dale’s chopstick trauma | | 13:51 | Vodka branding, Texas Roadhouse shoutouts | | 20:30 | Dale on gray hair and “junior” status | | 22:54 | Bad hair stories, dye jobs, wedding mishaps | | 29:05 | Top 5 hottest guys debate | | 36:31 | Costa Rica: gum-in-hair mishap | | 38:22 | Dale’s feelings pre-trip, giving up control | | 43:47 | Waterfall excursion, chaos, cold plunge | | 54:46 | Surfing lessons and kids outshining parents | | 60:55 | Boat-life dreaming, catamaran plans | | 70:28 | Amy’s late-night kitchen scare | | 76:58 | Kids stage wedding vow renewal | | 79:46 | Blind ranking: food & country artists | | 83:41 | Catamaran, bird poop incident | | 86:15 | Guacamole bragging and food tales |

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Tone & Style

Conversational, informal, self-deprecating humor, affectionate “roasting” between spouses, and an easy openness about quirks and anxieties. The show feels like a kitchen table chat: personal, relatable, and a bit meandering—but always warm and genuine.

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Conclusion

This episode is a quintessential “Bless Your Heart” blend of Earnhardt family hijinks: international travel gone awry, gentle marital teasing, and the big and small anxieties of adult life. The real “intruder” isn’t a burglar, but the surprises, personalities, and curveballs that pop up when you try letting go—on vacation or at home. And in the end, it's these unpredictable moments (and the laughter they bring) that turn into the best stories.

Transcript

[Announcer]

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[Ralph]

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[Dale Jr.]

The following is a Production of Dirty MO Media.

[Amy]

Oh yeah. This is the way it's going to be, girl. We're going to hang open a bunch of jars. You got big strong hands. Are you suffering from high crack?

[Dale Jr.]

I'm working.

[Amy]

Working that mouth. Hey guys, Dale and I are back in the dirty my media studio for another episode of Bless yous Heart. We're so excited to be back and see everybody and see Travis's pretty face. We've had a lot going on. Went to Costa Rica, lots to talk about. Let's get started.

[Dale Jr.]

Also we'll have a drinking word for this show and it is margarita every time I come into the studio.

[Ralph]

Well, yeah, because other people sat in your chair.

[Dale Jr.]

I know, but every time I come in here it's like everything has moved six inches.

[Amy]

Did. Did Daniel sit in that chair? Yeah, bless him. What did he think about that?

[Ralph]

I'm mad that I did. I forgot to ask him about it in show but he did say when he sat down before we started he was like this is comfortable.

[Dale Jr.]

Stop.

[Amy]

You prompted him to say that it

[Dale Jr.]

is a comfortable chair.

[Ralph]

I wish I was lying.

[Amy]

Not in comparison.

[Ralph]

That's accurate.

[Dale Jr.]

He sat in my chair and said it was comfortable.

[Amy]

Right, but not in comparison to this one.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, I mean no, we didn't.

[Amy]

Freddy's. Freddy ain't. No, we didn't go that far.

[Dale Jr.]

We didn't interrogate him. Which chair is more comfortable?

[Amy]

Answer now he probably would have said

[Dale Jr.]

I think that there is a. I think that there is a. I think that there is a.

[Amy]

Come on man. Put the fries in the bag.

[Dale Jr.]

In office.

[Amy]

My belly hurts again.

[Dale Jr.]

Yes, it hurt it for three days.

[Amy]

I think he ate some lettuce. My man is in bad shape.

[Ralph]

Did you take some Imodium?

[Amy]

He's been taking parasite tinctures. I've been giving him all the stuff.

[Ralph]

Wait, takin what?

[Dale Jr.]

You hear that word?

[Amy]

Well, it's a parasite so I've been giving him the tinctures that kill the parasites. Tinctures? Isn't it the dinosaurs?

[Ralph]

That's a word.

[Amy]

It is Tincture.

[Dale Jr.]

Dumb word.

[Amy]

It is a weird word.

[Dale Jr.]

It is a weird word. Can we choose another word for it?

[Amy]

Liquid. Liquid parasite killer. Yeah, I've been giving him basically told

[Dale Jr.]

you they were tinctures.

[Amy]

It says it on the thing. It's called a tincture.

[Dale Jr.]

Tincture.

[Amy]

You make it out of things. It's like a tincture.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, it says the word. They call it themselves a tincture.

[Amy]

A tincture. Yeah.

[Ralph]

T I N C T U R

[Amy]

E. It is a weird word. To say it's weird. So he's been tincturing all week, Trying to get rid of these parasites, drinking this stuff and.

[Dale Jr.]

So what do you want? I mean, where you want to start? I got a stomach bug. Started Sunday. I've been on the couch or the toilet for two and a half days.

[Ralph]

I was wondering, because Monday, you're like, hey, man, like, not feeling well, and, like, I'm worried about tomorrow. And then like, an hour later, he's like, I'm feeling better.

[Amy]

I'm like, yeah, well, it comes and goes.

[Dale Jr.]

It comes and goes. You know, like the.

[Amy]

He's sprightly, and then all of a sudden, he's doubled over.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

So.

[Amy]

And I don't think it was lettuce. I think it was probably like grapes

[Dale Jr.]

or something else or something.

[Amy]

He refuses to believe that he's got this parasite. He just refuses to call it that.

[Dale Jr.]

I don't refuse. I probably got. It's a bug. A parasite's a bug in my mind.

[Amy]

Yeah, it definitely is a bug.

[Dale Jr.]

Stomach bug. That's me saying I might have a parasite. So I'm not. I'm on the same page. I just call it different things. Like, I don't call things tinctures.

[Ralph]

Yeah, that's a weird word.

[Dale Jr.]

I don't talk. I don't call things parasites. I say bug.

[Amy]

Well, they're not all the same. Yeah, that's not the same. It's a virus.

[Dale Jr.]

I. It's my damn life, my choice.

[Amy]

It's my hot body. I'll do with it what I want.

[Dale Jr.]

All right, you guys in your rules. So I'm feeling better. I'm still on the toilet a little bit.

[Amy]

He's still wearing his elastic waist pants.

[Dale Jr.]

Just in case Getting to the finish line. Has Dale bought, like, a door unlocked?

[Amy]

Somebody propped that damn thing get through it. Dale might need to dart out.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

Dale's gonna put all the toilet. Get the cushions for the toilet seats.

[Dale Jr.]

There's two doors between me, and there's three doors between.

[Amy]

There's a lot of doors.

[Dale Jr.]

Better not be hard to get through two of them.

[Ralph]

You need a. A card to get door to open.

[Dale Jr.]

I know.

[Amy]

Yeah. You're in trouble. I think this one back in here is closer.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. So I was gonna say that I think that there is an in office joke that only the dirty mo Media employees are in on. Where every after. Every time I'm in here doing any kind of a show or work, they move everything around about six inches.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

And then I come back.

[Amy]

I mean, I would do that If I were y' all to screw with him, I would absolutely do that. Twist things, turn things. Move the table just a touch.

[Ralph]

See, now that you say that, I think we will. But like, that table over there, it takes, like, two people to move.

[Announcer]

I know.

[Amy]

When it would. This little situation. Absolutely. You could move stuff around. I don't know about that.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. Cause they just like to see me

[Amy]

gruntled, like, chair up and down. I would absolutely do that. That is, like, a really easy.

[Ralph]

Evan. After the show, please move Dale's chair two inches to the right.

[Amy]

Move his trinkets behind. Moving stuff around. Oh, y' all gotta try a little harder.

[Ralph]

I didn't think about that.

[Dale Jr.]

They should miss.

[Amy]

They should. They should put, like, little Easter eggs. Not baby Jesus, you know, but maybe

[Dale Jr.]

something I give you. You're. You, like, have floor.

[Amy]

Free reign.

[Dale Jr.]

Free reign.

[Ralph]

Yeah, but I have to deal with you. So if. Then I'm messing with you, then I'm just. I'm gonna be the one that get

[Dale Jr.]

some relief out of seeing me in anguish. Yeah.

[Amy]

Don't answer that Now.

[Ralph]

We're gonna start doing it now that

[Dale Jr.]

I have, like, are we not the same

[Ralph]

free run at this? So we're gonna. Yeah, you come in on Tuesday, and

[Dale Jr.]

when you're getting roasted for one of your awful takes on Delgen Download, I'm having a little bit of a good time.

[Ralph]

I don't have an awful take.

[Amy]

I would screw with tj, too. Y' all are missing an opportunity here.

[Ralph]

That one's too easy.

[Amy]

Screw with tj.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, that is fun. But little return at this point.

[Amy]

He's so used to it.

[Dale Jr.]

Doing this for years.

[Amy]

Is that a height joke?

[Dale Jr.]

It's like this. It's like this Ferrari that you've owned for 30 years. You know, it's not as fun to drive as it once was.

[Amy]

Dang noted.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

I wish I knew what driving a fry was like.

[Amy]

I don't.

[Dale Jr.]

I don't either, but I just.

[Ralph]

Yeah. Now I'm definitely gonna move just one little thing each week on the download set, so.

[Amy]

Yeah. Can we hide some Barbies in there? I got Barbie's galore.

[Dale Jr.]

I got something cool.

[Amy]

Put Barbies on the race car.

[Ralph]

Earmuffs. Amy, bring the squirrel in, please.

[Announcer]

We are.

[Amy]

We forgot we were driving it to bring the squirrel back today. She's gonna.

[Dale Jr.]

We were halfway here, and she remembered.

[Ralph]

She was like, damn it, Jimmy get you that bracelet. That's the squirrel.

[Amy]

I saw a slap bracelet, squirrel tail. Like, if the tail dangled off, it was pretty wild. I can't Believe that that's a thing. We have a really festive looking drink of the week. Can we talk about.

[Dale Jr.]

We have a festive.

[Amy]

Yes. It looks like a kaleidoscope of colors here. Our drink of the week, presented by High Rock Vodka is called. What is it called?

[Ralph]

Hierarch Punch.

[Amy]

The High Rock punch. So you guys did this for your victory toast the other day for Carson's first one. Oh, so it is pineapple juice, orange juice, lemon lime soda, and rainbow sherbet. And some high rock.

[Dale Jr.]

What's up with the metal straw?

[Amy]

It's good for the environment, Ralph. Are you worried about it hitting your teeth? That's good.

[Dale Jr.]

You know, very sweet. When I see that metal straw, it reminds me of when I went to South Korea and me and Mike Davis were in South Korea for the Olympics. The Olympics. And we were at the hotel and down on the. Down at the bottom of the bottom of the street, there was a series of a few restaurants, really authentic. They had fish swimming in tanks out front. Not nice looking tanks, like just right off the. Right off the boat. Throw the fish in.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

Come by, pick your fish and they're gonna cook it for you. And so we're gonna go in there and eat. And they had in the. The back half of the seating was all sitting on the floor and the front was actually chairs. And we were gonna sit in the back and decided against it after a funny thing happened. And I'll tell you another day, but

[Amy]

I'm at a hard time keeping up here.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, it's a long story, but are you okay? We get to the. We sit down and I'm thinking, okay, you know, we're going to eat with some chopsticks. And I like my chopsticks wooden, brand new in the wrapper. And they put down in front of us before we got our food, a plastic Tupperware tray with probably 75 to 100 metal chopsticks in it. And I'm like, damn, I gotta use somebody else's chopsticks.

[Amy]

It blows my mind that this bothers you.

[Dale Jr.]

And I grossed out immediately. And then I thought, I'm not like this with forks.

[Amy]

Right.

[Dale Jr.]

You know, back home, for every restaurant you go to. Every restaurant I go to, and now every restaurant I go to, everywhere I go eat. And they lay the silverware down. I think, who's had that in their mouth? Did they steam the out of this?

[Amy]

God dang.

[Dale Jr.]

You know what I mean?

[Amy]

Why do we need to go that far?

[Dale Jr.]

I don't, my.

[Announcer]

I don't want to go that far.

[Dale Jr.]

This is what your mind does when you have an advanced brain.

[Ralph]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

When you got a kick ass brain like mine that works really good. That's what it does. It goes there.

[Amy]

The brakes on my brain work better than brain.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm not oblivious.

[Amy]

Oblivious.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm not damn. Just unaware.

[Amy]

Listen, I think that there's stainless steel and you can steam the shit out of it and there's no germs.

[Dale Jr.]

I want to believe that they steam the out of that stuff. But you don't know, maybe their steam ain't. Maybe they're getting hot enough. Well, to get all the stuff just

[Amy]

going to boost that immune system. You'll be fine.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, I, you know, when I see that, I'm thinking that doesn't bother me. No, I don't. Probably nobody but you use that straw. But I just take my. Takes my mind back to that day where they set that thing in front of me and I was like, I'm not doing that. This. Hope y' all got some wooden ones back there. Where's the brand new?

[Amy]

I'll be honest, I don't put the silverware so far in my mouth and like rub my lips all over it like as much. It's like I eat the damn visual

[Dale Jr.]

that I don't think everybody really needs.

[Amy]

I ate the food off of it. Even the chopsticks that are wooden. Like I, it's not all in my mouth. You know what I mean?

[Announcer]

It is.

[Amy]

No, it isn't. I drop the food in, I close the hatch and I chew it up.

[Announcer]

Every piece you go.

[Ralph]

Like a mama bird.

[Amy]

Yeah, like a little bird.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh my God.

[Amy]

But even like feeding a piece of steak, you eat the steak, you're not chewing the fork.

[Announcer]

No.

[Dale Jr.]

Your mouth closes on the floor.

[Amy]

No, homie, it's not.

[Ralph]

But your tongue doesn't touch the fork.

[Amy]

No. Neither do my teeth or my lips.

[Ralph]

Only if you're doing like a spoon.

[Amy]

All right, look, I mean the spoon. Absolutely. So if I'm ordering a soup, we're making out with somebody else. That's what's going down. Not a fork.

[Announcer]

Oh man.

[Dale Jr.]

Well look, I don't agree, clearly. And you do change my mind.

[Amy]

You and your orange share just you, do you.

[Dale Jr.]

I want wooden chopsticks. If you're going to bring me chopsticks, I want the cheap 10 cent wooden that I'm going to throw away when I'm done.

[Amy]

End scene. All right, let's talk about Costa Rica.

[Ralph]

Drink, responsibility.

[Dale Jr.]

Did we do our drink of the week?

[Amy]

We kind of did. Okay, I did it.

[Dale Jr.]

You did it.

[Amy]

Did you try it?

[Dale Jr.]

Hey, High Rock Vodka's got a three pack.

[Amy]

I saw that. Yes. Sully sent us. You can buy some photo of a three pack of hi Rock.

[Dale Jr.]

You can buy the regular bottle in the three pack now.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

Wait, what?

[Amy]

Well, soon in the store in Gatlinburg, they have this really awesome case that has a three pack of their standard bottles. And so you can buy, like a gift set, or you can just buy three bottles for yourself. But it's easy to carry. It's got a cool little box, very nicely packaged. So that's another new addition to the hi Rock lineup.

[Dale Jr.]

Hell, yeah. Yeah, we went to. Did we talk about this? Our last show? We went to the Isle of Palms liquor store.

[Amy]

Yes, we did. Liquor store right there on Island Liquors.

[Dale Jr.]

Island Liquors. There's a few liquor stores now in Mount Pleasant, South Carolina, and Isle of Palms and a couple other places. And they even have the minis behind the cash register. You know, you can work your ass off and, you know, get you a spot on the shelf among the hundreds of vodkas, right? And you're. You're looking for your. And you're like, ah, there it is. I found it. But, man, you've really made it. When you walk up to the cash register and look over her shoulder and you see the little airplane bottle sitting on the shelf, you're like, hey, buddy, we are there.

[Ralph]

Well, it's true, because you're like, how many times when you're at the register and you're like, you know what? I see it. Let me get one of those, too.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, dude.

[Amy]

Add in. Or, like, a lot of friends will take those and travel with them.

[Ralph]

You can take them through tsa.

[Amy]

You can take them through tsa.

[Dale Jr.]

And you know what else is kind of fun? What is when we talk to the clerk or the lady to register and we go, hey, I'm Dale. It's my wife Amy. And we're just gonna come in your store and we're gonna grab a couple bottles off shelf and autograph them for you. And we're gonna do some social content, get some people to come in here, maybe pick up some of these bottles, take them home. And there she was like, I had heard about this, and I was wondering who was involved in this. Like, she had.

[Amy]

Yeah, she asked us the whole spiel. She wanted to know everything about High Rock.

[Dale Jr.]

So she is a. She has thousands of brands in there. And she was like, oh, yeah, I was wondering who was involved in that. I was like, oh, here we are. You Were curious. Are you curious?

[Amy]

Although, also, we went into this liquor store with our kids, wanting to, like, touch and grab and see all the pretty bottles.

[Dale Jr.]

And I think that the branding and all that was clicking with her.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

Before she ever knew we were a part of it. And really, she was, like, already kind of intrigued.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

It's a good sign.

[Amy]

It's a good sign. So are the mini bottles. And if you want to find a bottle near you, you can go to the website highrockvodka.com there's a store locator. You can use it to find any of the Sugarlands products around you. And you must be 21 years or over. Please drink responsibly.

[Dale Jr.]

And, hey, I've been seeing this in my Instagram or my. My Twitter feed. If you go to a Texas Roadhouse and you order a Dale. Yeah. You don't even have to order a Dale.

[Ralph]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

If you really don't need one that night, you can just take a picture of the menu of Amy and I with the Dale. Yeah. I love seeing that in my timeline. Just love it.

[Amy]

So he loves some of him in his timeline.

[Dale Jr.]

Keep that coming. That's good for everybody.

[Amy]

Yes. We had some friends send us pictures last night. Their kids recognized us. You know, it was. It's fun. That part's fun for me because I

[Dale Jr.]

can engage with it. And then Texas Roadhouse sees it and goes, hey, nice.

[Amy]

It's working.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. You like that, too, Amy?

[Amy]

What?

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Dale Jr.]

You do.

[Amy]

I got text. It's not in my timeline. I don't have a timeline.

[Announcer]

I don't even.

[Dale Jr.]

You definitely like that.

[Amy]

I love it when people are at Texas Roadhouse and they get a DALIA and we get to see their pictures.

[Dale Jr.]

Absolutely love that.

[Amy]

Thanks for setting that up for me.

[Ralph]

Did you take happy pills this morning, Dale?

[Dale Jr.]

Huh?

[Amy]

It's this. It's his new critters. It's like critters inside of his belly.

[Ralph]

It's like the reverse of. In Space Jam. They brought happiness to Dale. He's just, like, over joyful.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm glad to be.

[Amy]

He's five pounds lighter.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm glad to be feeling better. My belly hurt and my head. My whole body was hurting. All my muscles. My ankles. I got. I got some arthritis in my ankles, and that really was hurting.

[Amy]

So he's been walking around, like, shuffling around.

[Dale Jr.]

Get him. I have arthritis, especially in my gas foot.

[Amy]

Yeah, he does.

[Ralph]

That makes sense.

[Amy]

Gas pedal foot is.

[Dale Jr.]

I get up in the morning, and it takes me about 20 minutes to get to where I can walk regularly.

[Amy]

He's got to work it out.

[Dale Jr.]

Now. Everybody's gonna send me all kinds of stretching. I ain't doing it.

[Amy]

Don't do it. I've already tried. I've gotten a shape plate. I've got stretching blocks.

[Dale Jr.]

I've gotten no damn, don't be sitting no damn routines I need to do when I get out of bed. Happening. I'm going right into the bathroom to brush my teeth.

[Amy]

Yes. Don't bother.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, don't bother. My routine's working. Just walking it out.

[Amy]

He's gonna be a real pain in the ass to grow old with. With like, we're halfway there and he's like, I ain't working on anything. This is what's going to be.

[Ralph]

Yeah, you're doomed.

[Amy]

I'm doomed.

[Ralph]

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[Dale Jr.]

We ain't doing nothing with these grays. They just gonna get grayer.

[Amy]

It's gonna get more ornery, more gray and more brittle. We're just gonna let it ride out. Is that right?

[Dale Jr.]

That's right.

[Amy]

Is that what you're saying? You know what he told me the other day, we're in Costa Rica, sitting around. We're all kind of in awe of how gray his hair has gotten. His facial hair, too. Like, he's got a little bit of, like, a handlebar that's still got some of that ginger in it, and the rest of him is, like, silver. And so he's like, you know, my entire life, I've been a junior, and I wanted to be. I'm embracing this gray because now I feel like I'm an old man. I'm established. I'm not a junior anymore. And my whole life, like, I've been a junior. I've been kind of treated like a kid. Talked about like the kid, because I'm junior. And so he's thinking now, do you

[Dale Jr.]

understand what that could feel like? Do you understand what being a junior like this?

[Amy]

No, I don't. I'm the oldest child. I'm the oldest grandchild. I have no clue.

[Dale Jr.]

All right. You remember when you were in junior high?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Dale Jr.]

And then you got to go to senior high. Remember when you were in junior high and you were looking at the kids in senior high and looking at the other girls and how they palled around and all. They're in their little popular cliques or. Or how just everybody looked older and smarter and they driving around and you're still riding a school bus and you're like, I want to get to senior high. You finally get to senior high, and now you get to senior high, and you're looking down at the junior high kids, and you're like, yeah, you little something. I was a junior. I remember what it was like not having a car and wearing goofy clothes.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dale Jr.]

And that your mom, you know, that your parents bought you now and Buy my own, you know, so I've been a junior. I've been stuck in junior high.

[Amy]

You're in junior high your whole life. Bless it. I don't feel like I felt like that I was terrified to go to high school.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, there was always going to be a senior, and I was always going to be the junior.

[Amy]

That's true. And there still is, essentially.

[Dale Jr.]

Now I'm extremely happy and proud. And of course, you know, very.

[Amy]

But now he's also extremely happy and proud of his gray.

[Dale Jr.]

I am.

[Amy]

Yeah. He's embraced it.

[Dale Jr.]

Boy, when I could, you know, and when you. When guys. When guys can start growing a little facial hair, do we not do. It's like a milestone.

[Amy]

This is the other thing he told me. Same trip. He's like, when I first got My hair, it was a little blonde. Just like, little blonde things. He's like, I used to take a Sharpie to it just to make them dark. And it was probably a black Sharpie because we didn't really have brown ones.

[Dale Jr.]

No.

[Amy]

I was like, that's so weird that you would do that.

[Ralph]

I've never been one that could really like this here, that facial hair. I last shaved Thursday.

[Amy]

Thursday.

[Ralph]

And this is all I have. Like, it's. I've never been, but I do get a lot of. I noticed grays are coming in here more than my hair.

[Amy]

Yeah, I feel like it's right on his face first. Also.

[Dale Jr.]

I did this when I was really, you know, 15.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

But there was one. There were two. There were two goofball. Probably hungover bored. Things that I did back in the bud days with my hair. Once I straightened it at Dover, he

[Amy]

had his bus driver.

[Dale Jr.]

I had my bus driver straighten it. And we burnt the shit out of my. My. My. My side of my face. Cause we got the stuff on there.

[Amy]

They did this in the bus.

[Dale Jr.]

I didn't know this was gonna burn my skin off.

[Amy]

They went to Sally Beauty Supply, got some straightener.

[Dale Jr.]

They're like, hey, it comes with this. Like, it comes with this Vaseline or Vaseline you're supposed to put on your skin. And we're like, vaseline for me. Toss it to the side. We start putting it in. I'm like, holy, it's burning. So then we go wash it off. And now I got this, like, surfboard straight hair. And I'm like, oh, man, I can't go to the garage tomorrow. We got practice in the morning. I'm like, I can't walk in the garage like this.

[Amy]

I can't get this hanging down over his nose.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, I put a hat on. It's just sticking out of the hat. Because my hair was super. Was long. You know, I hadn't had a haircut in a while. It wasn't a long, Long hair, but.

[Announcer]

So we went to the store.

[Dale Jr.]

Then it's like nine at night. We go to the store, we get clippers. He never got hair in his life. So we're back in. We're back in the bus cutting hair, trying to make it look somewhat reasonable. And I did. And we went. We went the whole weekend with this butchered haircut. We'd straightened my hair.

[Amy]

And this is the best part of the story is still to come.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, my sister has. Has a wedding.

[Amy]

She's getting married that week.

[Dale Jr.]

She's getting married the next week. And I'm walking her down the aisle without a hat on, obviously with a whack ass haircut. So I walk her down. I walk her down the aisle with this really bad straight hair. But I don't give a. Because I think as soon as I walked her down the aisle and we saw the official, like, the ceremony ended, I dos. Me and like seven of my buddies jumped in Suburban and drove to Daytona for the July race. So we were like in party mode. But another time I had a goatee and this was at Michigan. And me and my bus driver colored my goatee with. With really? Yeah, with whatever.

[Amy]

That same guy.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, with whatever the product. What's the Just for Men? Just for Men? Yes, we got some Just for Men and brushed it. My goatee. And so for like one week I had this really dark goatee.

[Amy]

And all of this is surely captured on the Internet.

[Dale Jr.]

Yes, the week photos of the photo of the race weekend. I'll go that we did the Just for Men.

[Amy]

Well, the weekend he did the hair and had the haircut, he won Daytona. That was the summer of 2001. It was July of 2001.

[Dale Jr.]

Win the race and I'm in victory.

[Amy]

Substantial win. And so like, he's there, badass bangs where he's got his hat off.

[Dale Jr.]

By that time I'd had the hair straightened up. So I thought it looked actually really good, you know, because I did end up. You talked me into a Brazilian blowout a few times. It kind of looked like that.

[Amy]

Every time you say Brazilian I think you're talking about something else.

[Ralph]

Keep talking, please keep talking.

[Dale Jr.]

What's it called?

[Amy]

That's it. But like, okay, girls get Brazilian waxes. So. Yeah, when you say Brazilian, I'm like,

[Ralph]

that's what I thought he was going with.

[Dale Jr.]

We ain't doing that.

[Amy]

No, we got married and his hair was straight. Yeah, yeah. When we got married. That's ironic.

[Dale Jr.]

I had one of those when we got married.

[Amy]

Yes. Your hair was like, straight.

[Dale Jr.]

I didn't know I was got. I thought I started getting those later.

[Amy]

No, it was that whole year building up. You were letting it grow out. You wanted it straight. You weren't in the race car anymore. So you're like, I can do what I want. It's my hot body.

[Dale Jr.]

My hot body. That was really Cartman. I did not say that.

[Amy]

No, you didn't.

[Dale Jr.]

Is that what Cartman says?

[Amy]

Yeah, it's my hot body. I'll do with it what I want.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, okay. I guess. Now look at it.

[Amy]

It's straight.

[Dale Jr.]

Straight.

[Amy]

It's straight. That's as straight as it gets.

[Dale Jr.]

Damn. A damn. Well, all right.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

Well.

[Amy]

Brazilian blowout. He used to go sit in the chair and get it. Get it done, but, you know, no burns.

[Dale Jr.]

I've got a picture of me with the hair. I'm in the barber chair or whatever in the salon after she takes the things out, and I've got this thing. I've got a real afro.

[Amy]

When in the.

[Dale Jr.]

I sent it to you while she was doing my hair.

[Announcer]

She.

[Amy]

She was straightening it.

[Dale Jr.]

She was straightening it. And then when she gets done, she blow dries the hell out of it. And it's perfectly round.

[Amy]

What dream are you in?

[Dale Jr.]

Yes.

[Amy]

Yes. You never have had, like, a Bob Ross afro. Why?

[Dale Jr.]

For, like, five minutes in the middle of doing the Brazilian blowout. That's, like, part of the process.

[Amy]

I'm gonna need to see a photo of that, man.

[Dale Jr.]

It was awesome.

[Amy]

Really?

[Dale Jr.]

That's because there is a photo on the Internet that somebody gave me Bob Ross's hair.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

And it. It's been around on the Internet for a long, long time. And it's one of my favorite memes or whatever you want to call, but because I, you know, I was a big Bob Ross guy. Like, Bob Nice guy. No. You know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

I mean, who he is, I don't know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

I mean, he's pretty badass legend. And it's hair.

[Amy]

They looked to Daria, too.

[Dale Jr.]

So I'm like, damn, man. I look pretty good with Bob Ross's haircut. And for a moment, I was like, I really have it.

[Amy]

You really have it. I feel like if you had just let your hair grow out. Texture.

[Dale Jr.]

I took a picture and sent it to you.

[Amy]

Your natural texture, it would look just like that.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm about to go back to my phone.

[Amy]

Yeah. Go back to the files and find that photo. I need to see it myself. Well, yeah, that's. So that's the meme.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. I. I think I look. I would look pretty good if that's. If that was in the 70s. That's probably what I'd go with. Maybe a little shorter. Really quite as big.

[Amy]

You just let it rip.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. I have wanted to let it rip my whole life. I mean, you. You can.

[Amy]

I know that's. I tried to let you do that right before we got married. Because you weren't racing anymore. Right. Or did you have one more season?

[Dale Jr.]

There was a time where, if Amy would have said yes, I was gonna dye my hair orange.

[Amy]

He wanted to dip it like Gwen Stefani. I'm like, what's wrong with you?

[Dale Jr.]

Neon orange.

[Ralph]

Why?

[Amy]

Yeah, that's exactly what I said.

[Dale Jr.]

Why the not.

[Ralph]

That's not a reason.

[Amy]

That's not a reason.

[Ralph]

We're asking you a reason.

[Dale Jr.]

I like neon orange.

[Amy]

It would have been a sight for sure. I wouldn't have understood. I still don't understand why you.

[Dale Jr.]

I don't understand why people can't do like that. And people just be like, yeah, because this is clownish. It'll grow out.

[Amy]

Because it's, like, clownish.

[Dale Jr.]

All right.

[Amy]

You want people to take you seriously. You can't have.

[Dale Jr.]

I don't think I need you to take me seriously all the time.

[Amy]

Well, you don't get to choose when you have orange hair.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

You know, it's like, up to whoever's coming at you.

[Dale Jr.]

I don't know.

[Ralph]

You should let your hair grow out right now.

[Dale Jr.]

Was it a good decision to dye my hair orange? Surely not. Would I have regretted it after about three days? Absolutely. But here's the only thing it was. I was gonna do it if she would have said, sure, go let him

[Ralph]

do it now, Amy.

[Amy]

This is what happens when he decides to grow his hair out. He also decides his facial hair must be as long as his other hair.

[Dale Jr.]

Yes.

[Amy]

So now we have.

[Dale Jr.]

You can't have.

[Amy]

Now we look like we're from the Duck Dynasty.

[Dale Jr.]

Unkept hair and then this tight, nice beard. It doesn't work.

[Amy]

Why?

[Dale Jr.]

The beard has to match.

[Amy]

No, it doesn't. You don't have to have, like, a burly, unkept face just because your hair is growing out.

[Dale Jr.]

Do you know that picture of the guy nodding? He's an actor. It's a gift. Very famous gift. Everybody uses it. And it's the nodding gift. And it. It's

[Amy]

Christopher. No, it ain't Christopher.

[Dale Jr.]

Who is it?

[Amy]

Oh, damn it.

[Dale Jr.]

I think it's in the movie the man from Snowy river or something like that.

[Amy]

He just passed away. He's really gorgeous, man.

[Dale Jr.]

Handsome.

[Amy]

This is so terrible.

[Dale Jr.]

Handsome is a good word. Gorgeous is a bit strong.

[Amy]

No, he's top five of all time.

[Dale Jr.]

Wow. Who's your top five?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

Let's hear the top five.

[Dale Jr.]

Let's hear the top five dot Amy,

[Amy]

I can't even figure out how to Google this now.

[Dale Jr.]

Just Google nodded or Google.

[Ralph]

I mean, if he's top five, he should be able to come for his name without.

[Amy]

I know. It should be. It should. It's, like, right here on the tip of my tongue.

[Dale Jr.]

Google the image. Google. Google the gif. The nodding gift. Just nodding. Gif the first one.

[Ralph]

This one.

[Dale Jr.]

The first one. No, the first one.

[Ralph]

Oh, it's Mark.

[Dale Jr.]

No, it ain't Mark from Star Wars. No, no, ain't him. Now. You need to take a picture of it and ask Chad.

[Amy]

This is ridiculous.

[Dale Jr.]

Chad, who is this? That's who I want to look like some days. See that guy?

[Amy]

Well, you missed your mark because he did it when he was young.

[Ralph]

Robert Redford.

[Amy]

Robert Redford.

[Dale Jr.]

Robert Redford.

[Amy]

So stunning, man.

[Ralph]

Wait, he's top five, Amy.

[Announcer]

He is.

[Amy]

Especially when he was young.

[Dale Jr.]

Like, is he top five right there?

[Amy]

Gorgeous, man.

[Dale Jr.]

Is he top five right there?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

See, he can be pretty sexy.

[Ralph]

All right.

[Amy]

He just passed away.

[Dale Jr.]

How come he gets to be long hair, Full beard?

[Amy]

Your hair would be the opposite. Your beard will be long and straight, and your hair would grow like Bob Ross. It wouldn't look like that.

[Dale Jr.]

He gets to be long haired, bushy, top five still.

[Amy]

And his hair color was natural, by the way.

[Dale Jr.]

It's not fair.

[Ralph]

Dale brings up a valid point here.

[Announcer]

Yeah, he gets to have his old

[Dale Jr.]

beard and his long hair, and he's top five. He's top five still.

[Amy]

Are you gonna walk around with that expression on your face?

[Dale Jr.]

She only wants me one way. That's what it is.

[Amy]

You only want me one way. There's no chopping my hair off or doing.

[Dale Jr.]

You can't have short.

[Ralph]

No, you can't have short hair.

[Amy]

Why?

[Dale Jr.]

It wouldn't look as good.

[Amy]

What? Here's the thing about getting older, gentlemen. At one point, I'm gonna have to cut it. It doesn't have to be like a mamaw haircut, beauty shop haircut. You know what I mean? But I'm gonna have to cut it. I can't have long hair. I feel like that makes you look like you're trying to be young and you're not young, like cutting your hair. Isn't it inevitable?

[Dale Jr.]

There's some older ladies. They've gone into their 50s and 60s. Yes. But they have remained. They've kept their long hair, and it's. It's. It's classic.

[Amy]

I think it just depends on who you are.

[Dale Jr.]

And it's a straight. It's looks. It's just. It shows strength and. And commitment.

[Ralph]

And if you come with, like a little bob above your shoulders, like, I feel like you're. Like you're gonna turn into a Karen.

[Amy]

Yeah. So listen, I. I don't think a bob's my. My vibe, but at some, like, Brenda, Dale's mom, great hair, she would cut it into these tiny little pixie cuts and Then let it get long again. And she was all over the place.

[Dale Jr.]

Mama, grow your hair long. She's like, okay.

[Amy]

Dale's in charge of everybody in their hair. That's what. Except for your own. That's the problem, isn't it? Because you.

[Dale Jr.]

I don't get to do what I want. Everybody else gets to do what they want.

[Amy]

Listen, it gets 1 inch longer than what it is, and my hats don't fit like you're complaining about it. You don't want long hair. You wouldn't even know what to do with it. What would you do with it?

[Dale Jr.]

I don't. I won't. Like, I want to snap my fingers and my hair to be really long. I don't want the middle part.

[Amy]

We need some.

[Dale Jr.]

You know what I mean?

[Announcer]

That's me.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Now we just need some extensions.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, but.

[Ralph]

Okay, back to what's most important, though.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. Who's the top five?

[Ralph]

Yeah, who's the top five? We're not letting you off the hook on this.

[Amy]

Really?

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, yeah. And you know who better be in it?

[Amy]

Oh, yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

Robert Redford.

[Amy]

This is not an order. Okay. Of course. Dale Hunter Jr. Is in there. Clint Eastwood. Robert Redford. Brad Pitt. How many I got?

[Ralph]

That's four.

[Amy]

It. I think that's it. I don't really have a fifth.

[Dale Jr.]

Okay. You'll probably have one before.

[Ralph]

Well, so Robert just went up one spot. He's not top five now. Top four.

[Amy]

Looking like top four. Yeah, yeah.

[Ralph]

Top four.

[Dale Jr.]

All right.

[Amy]

You okay?

[Dale Jr.]

I'm great.

[Amy]

I mean, they're all similar looking.

[Dale Jr.]

We haven't even started the show yet.

[Amy]

No, we haven't. Speaking of hair, we had a little incident with some hair when we were on our trip this last week.

[Dale Jr.]

We sure did.

[Amy]

Uncle Dale, which is who he is in front of his own children. When we're around other children, he is. Uncle Dale brings a bunch of candy in, including a pack of gum, and he gives it to the littlest kids. And, I mean, within minutes of being on this trip, Nicole has decided she's done with her gum and sticks it in her cousin's hair. Not like an accidental toss. And then she came through, and then, like, it got caught in her hair. She just reached over and clamped it in there. And Eva, who really wasn't that bothered by the whole thing, went to go play in the ocean and came back like, an hour later and was like, hey, can you get this gum out of my hair? I'm like, how'd you get gum in your hair, Dale? Well, Nicole put it in there. Like, wait a second. She just stuck it in your hair? Yeah, she just was done with it, so she just put it in my hair like this. This is, like, not normal behavior. So I'm like, sitting there trying to get some ice. Eva's trying to yank it out of her hair. She picked up this tiny little haircut so she doesn't have a bunch of hair to spare. And that's how we started our Costa Rica trip was Uncle Dale's bubble gum. And then Nicole, who is also a Dale derivative, putting it in Eva's hair. So, you know, Yay.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

How was Costa Rica? It seemed like you guys had a fun time.

[Amy]

It was amazing. It was my first trip. Dale's been there before, and I went

[Dale Jr.]

there for my bachelor party. And yeah, we. We were about 45 minutes away from that area.

[Ralph]

Slightly different trip, I assume.

[Amy]

Yeah, yeah, wildly different.

[Ralph]

I mean, you went with your sister and her family, right?

[Dale Jr.]

Not actually a whole lot different, honestly. Except for there were kids on this one. I mean, it was literally the same trip.

[Amy]

That's not true. Dale, when he went on the bachelor trip, he told everybody, I know we're going to Costa Rica, but I ain't signing up to do no ziplining. And there is no excursions. We're going to sit in the bar. Souls sit in the bar. We're going to bar hop.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Don't anybody try to plan a boat. I am not going out on a boat. I'm not doing any of that. So it was a week of.

[Dale Jr.]

That was the rules.

[Ralph]

Listen, so not like this trip.

[Amy]

No, I. Nothing like this trip.

[Dale Jr.]

I would say that there was a little more drinking on my trip.

[Amy]

Sure there was. I'm sure there was, Ralph. We were in bed by like 9:30 or 10 every night on our trip.

[Ralph]

There's probably more drinking in one day than there was for the entire trip.

[Dale Jr.]

It was a different trip. Okay.

[Ralph]

Okay. That's all we needed.

[Amy]

So, yeah, we had a lot of fun, though. Costa Rica was great. We had a few excursions. So first day we get there and hang out and do the whole bubble gum situation, and then next day we've got a road trip planned to go hike, see some animals, see a waterfall. We don't really know exactly the context of the excursion. Katie planned everything. Hang on, hang on.

[Dale Jr.]

No, no, no, no. I need to tee this up. You can't say we don't.

[Amy]

We don't, because Katie's planned everything. We were like. We were like vacation princesses. We just showed up. You know what I mean? Fun so we didn't know what we're getting ourselves into.

[Dale Jr.]

Go back months ago. So first thing, I love my Texas family. I am very lucky. Very lucky. They are better than I could have imagined. If I didn't even know what like getting married and incurring a new family, I didn't know even what that meant, whether I would even. I didn't even know I wanted that. And so it's amazing. And Katie is the sweetest. Kobe. Badass. Dude. We. I love them. I love being around them. I love going. They like, they were kind of all kind of cut from the same cloth a little bit. We like the same things. We don't mind being around each other. That's hard to find like minded people, especially when you're forced to be together. It's hard to find. So. But me and Kobe are similar in the way that we like to kind of. We like to have a little control over our planning.

[Amy]

Your destiny.

[Dale Jr.]

Destiny. Yeah, we like kind of.

[Amy]

I want control over my haircut and my destiny, please.

[Dale Jr.]

Like, if, if something's going to happen, I kind of want to be on the. In the conversation, not this trip.

[Amy]

So I will say she put everything on a group text months ago. Not years ago. Months ago. And you, you don't respond.

[Dale Jr.]

I ignored it because I was like, I'm not interested.

[Amy]

So that just says. That just means I'm gonna let the girls.

[Ralph]

You gave up control.

[Amy]

Gave up control. He relinquished control.

[Dale Jr.]

This might just go away.

[Amy]

He didn't say, not for me.

[Dale Jr.]

So. Well, I didn't want to be a

[Amy]

butthole, but so, so we'll wait and just do it. Right now.

[Dale Jr.]

They're just, they're. They're chirping in this little Texas group text with the four of us about this trip. And. And all of a sudden the trip pops up on our calendar and I'm like, dang. And we're going on this. What the hell? And so I'm like, you know, I'm just.

[Amy]

Why didn't you want to even go?

[Dale Jr.]

I have no idea. So that, listen, I'm about head about. And so I'm like, man, God, I don't want to go on this trip. We got other things I want to do.

[Amy]

It's the first week after he's done with his summer work schedule. So just for that reference, that's why he didn't want to go. He want to have plans on that weekend. He wanted to get to do.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, we're supposed to still be at our beach house, you know, and all that. You Know, there's not. Not, not to get in the weeds, but. So I was not really even looking forward to this trip. And I go to Joey and I'm like, hey, Joey, you know about this trip. He's like, yeah. And I'm like, you know, it's gonna be all right. You know anything about the area? He's like, it's all right somewhat, you know, it should be pretty safe. And I'm like, okay, all right, well. And he's not like, oh, you're gonna have a badass time. Oh, you know, because Joey's been a lot of places. Joey's sort of ho hum about it. And I'm like, well, that doesn't really help me get me more excited. And you know, so anyways, we get close to this thing and as we getting, as we're getting close to it, Amy's like, you know, I'm prying little bits of information here and there about what we're going to end up doing. Because I am one of those people that's like, you know, when I go on a trip, I don't, I don't really think I want to do anything.

[Amy]

And so she remind him that there are children.

[Dale Jr.]

She's like, well, we're going to do a catamaran. I'm like, oh, God, catamaran. Getting all that, getting all these kids on a catamaran. And back off the catamaran. And try not to piss off the catamaran people. You know, with all the kids do. I'm just thinking about how miserable that's going to be. And then, well, we're going to go surfing. Oh, man, that's going miserable trying to get them kids to surf. And oh, Nicole ain't going to want to surf. I'm going to have to sit in the sand with her. And while she about wanting to go home and I'll. Everybody else is surfing and she's not going to want to serve. So I'm. And that's. That's what's gonna happen.

[Amy]

And this is what, this is a stop process for months and yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, yeah.

[Amy]

And you're the one. Nobody else is complaining. That's right.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm not vocalizing this.

[Amy]

Also, your, your energy is palpable.

[Dale Jr.]

I know, but I'm not saying this on this text. I'm not sharing this with your family. I'm not.

[Announcer]

I know.

[Amy]

You know, your silence is deafening, dude.

[Dale Jr.]

I want people out there to know.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

That I'm not. No poo poo and all this.

[Amy]

No, he's not. But we can. We know who you are. Even Katie and Kobe, they got it.

[Dale Jr.]

Cody, Cody or Kobe Finally, I don't know. I said, Cody, Kobe finally hits me up in a DM on Instagram and he goes, you, you excited about this trip? And I just totally ignored it. I was like, we were talking about something else. So I just ignored that question and went on with the rest conversation. And I mean, I just wasn't sure if I was excited about it and I wasn't sure if I wanted to be honest about it. And I wasn't wanting to make him feel.

[Amy]

That's good. Keeping it to yourself is the mature thing to do.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

So way to go, Ralph. We have growth.

[Dale Jr.]

So anyways, we're going to go do this waterfall. All right. All right. Waterfall. Waterfall might be kind of cool, right?

[Amy]

So Katie says we're going to do this little hike. There's going to be some animals, there's going to be a picnic and then there's like a waterfall where we can swim. I did not. And she didn't, by the way, understand the capacity, of course she didn't, of what that meant. Like, how does that, how far are we going? Are all of these things in the same location?

[Dale Jr.]

How does that happen?

[Amy]

I don't know. Planning a trip with somebody in another country through email.

[Dale Jr.]

Costa Rica is a big ass country. If we're staying at Awesomeville and you call up the waterfall guy and you're like, hey, waterfall guy, man, we're gonna come, we're gonna come see you. We need a certain car service. Okay, car.

[Announcer]

Call us.

[Dale Jr.]

Car service. All right, car service. We're staying at Awesomeville and we're going to Billy's waterfall. All right, man, we've been there before. We'll take you over there, no problem. All right, well, about how long's that drive?

[Announcer]

That's all you needed to do.

[Amy]

Hey, you call the excursion company? They set everything up. There was. I did.

[Dale Jr.]

Somebody knows also?

[Amy]

No, no, no. We got in the car. Katie had no idea how I know

[Dale Jr.]

she didn't, she didn't ask the question.

[Amy]

We get in the car and we drive back like an hour and 15 towards the airport.

[Dale Jr.]

We are in two freaking cars.

[Amy]

We're in two separate cars.

[Dale Jr.]

Two kids in each car, which was probably better than having all four of them in the same damn car.

[Amy]

We couldn't leave all four of them in one car. And then we got one car and

[Dale Jr.]

two kids in, in two cars. And the kids, they're good for like 30 minutes and then they start to Go berserk.

[Amy]

Our kids were fine because we had the older two. Katie and I were fighting.

[Dale Jr.]

They're laughing, they're fighting, they're tickling. And it's just chaos.

[Amy]

And it's 7:30 in the morning.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, it's early.

[Amy]

We're in the cars and you have to go back towards the airport through a riverbed. Like it's a rough ass ride. It is not smooth. The roads in Costa Rica could use a little tlc. But we're getting towards the airport and I'm like, oh my gosh, I've already been in the car now. I know this ride an hour and 15 minutes. And so I'm texting Kate, Katie, at this point, have we gotten out and switched vehicles? Like the kids wanted to stop and pee. Yeah, maybe that's what happened.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm like, we gotta pee.

[Amy]

How much longer is the ride? And so Katie asks the driver and he says another hour and 20 minutes. And that was just to the animals. Apparently at that point she was also figuring out the animals and the rainforest hike. You don't remember the howler monkeys and the sloths and all that?

[Dale Jr.]

Oh my God, yes.

[Amy]

Yeah. So we stop and we like have a walkabout. It's like, it's just a farm essentially. And they take care of all these

[Dale Jr.]

animals and they have plants in a circle. That was about three quarters of a mile. And he's like, hey, there's some ants on the ground. Walking across the ground. Check that out.

[Amy]

And then he's like, there were leaf cutter ants everywhere.

[Dale Jr.]

Y' all hear that noise? That's a, that's a such and such bird. And. And then he's like, he's like ducking the pond over here. Check that out, man. Duck, ducks, ducks. Cleaned himself. And I'm like, the way that you

[Amy]

see the world is so interesting.

[Dale Jr.]

And then he's like, hey, check that tree out, man. 100 years old.

[Amy]

It's 250 years old. We took a picture with it. It was a cool tree. Listen, this was perfect for kids. We weren't literally hiking miles through the rainforest, getting Nicole, like way out of her comfort zone. It was exactly what we needed.

[Dale Jr.]

And they were like, hey, see them up there? Bananas.

[Amy]

I can't. You had a good time. But yeah, so we did that part. And then we get back in the car and head towards this volcano that we're gonna like get to the other side of to go up to this mountain and there's a cabin and a picnic and then we're gonna hike down to the waterfall. So the ride up to that space was incredibly rugged. Like you're riding over big boulders. It is not a road. It really isn't. And so it was a lot. It was just a lot to get.

[Dale Jr.]

And you're moving at five miles an hour, barely moving, you know, up into this mountain and beautiful views. Like if you can just set aside your

[Amy]

attitude.

[Dale Jr.]

Attitude and your, your, your sort of vacation princess attitude and enjoy the view. It's awesome. So we get to the top and this guy had built this little shed, a little lean to. Had a little kitchenette in the back that was very modest. But they were going to cook us a little lunch, which they did. And it was great. And we put. We had these picnic tables, a little bit of shade, beautiful view of this volcano. And then we were going to hike down into the woods. And the hike into the woods was super short.

[Amy]

It was very short.

[Dale Jr.]

We get to this waterfall and the water's 50 degrees. It's very cold, very cold.

[Amy]

It's like a cold plunge, right?

[Dale Jr.]

It's just like a cold plunge. And so the kids are getting in there and they're like, you know, they're, they're climb. They're getting up on top of these rocks that are covered in moss, slippery. And they're standing up on top of

[Amy]

them and we're like their first inclination is to do the opposite of what you're supposed to do.

[Dale Jr.]

Even the farmer guys are like, oh man, everybody get down on the ground.

[Amy]

Crawl like spider hands and feet. You know what I mean?

[Dale Jr.]

They're like crawl around like a spider on this. And the kids are like, what you said stand up.

[Amy]

Well, they're speaking in Spanish as well. So there's a. There's a little of that problem. But.

[Dale Jr.]

And we had to sit there and shout out the kids for like 20

[Amy]

minutes over the sound of the waterfall, which is loud. It was a lot.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. And so luckily none of the kids failed. Broke any arms or busted noggins.

[Amy]

No teeth. We're lost.

[Dale Jr.]

We finally get calmed down and we're gonna. The obvious thing that you're gonna do or not do is jump into this water. It's at the waterfall.

[Amy]

It's very deep.

[Dale Jr.]

It's maybe 10 foot deep or so. But anyways, I get in this deal and I get all the way in and it's cold for like a minute or two and then it is. You don't want to get out.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

Ever.

[Amy]

It was awesome.

[Dale Jr.]

Like it feels like the cleanest water you've ever been in. And you don't want to get out of it.

[Amy]

We tried to swim through the waterfall, but the pressure from the water pushing out was too much pressure from the

[Dale Jr.]

waterfalls pushing you away.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

And it wasn't such a waterfall that it was maybe dangerous to get in it. There wasn't. It wasn't that large, but it was. You know, the farmers and all were like, you know, you have to go under to swim under it. We tried and tried and tried, but

[Amy]

I was like, I'm not going under. What if I never come back up?

[Dale Jr.]

I looked on. I got under and opened my eyes and looked around, and it was hard to do that because of how cold it was. Like, your eyeballs were like, oh, that's cold.

[Amy]

It was a cool experience. After all that was over, we went back up to the thing, had some, like, authentic Costa Rican food. The little farmer guy, let's call him Costa Rican cowboy because that's basically what he looked like. He taught the girls how to lasso.

[Dale Jr.]

He got a jump rope out, and they jumped rope.

[Amy]

It was a lasso they ended up using as a jump rope. After the girls got, like, tired of

[Dale Jr.]

catching a snake, he gets the lasso and turns it into a jump rope. And then everybody's trying to jump rope, and the kids are trying to do it. And remember, Coley has never jump rope.

[Amy]

She's never done a jump rope ever

[Dale Jr.]

gets in there, and she gets, like, six revolutions. And she's so proud of herself.

[Amy]

She's got rhythm. Yeah, she was very proud of herself.

[Dale Jr.]

And then Isla and the girls, they're in there together, and they're getting in and out, double dutching and whatever. And the bull. The guys. The guys that drove us out there, they're athletic. They're jump roping. And. And I'm like, how about. Damn. You know, you. You just.

[Amy]

You can't have preconceived notions.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, you don't need. You don't need any. The most primitive jump rope made this 30. Made in another 30 minutes to an hour. Just a rope. Yeah.

[Ralph]

The simplest things can.

[Dale Jr.]

Yep. Like, I'm sitting there going, man, you know, I want to get back to WI Fi. I want to get back to. I want to check my, you know, this.

[Ralph]

Get back to my Xbox.

[Dale Jr.]

I want to get back to the. The radio and play my music or go back to the, you know, this and that and the other.

[Amy]

I think it was a better lesson for Dale to see that the kids were having a good time and this whole process was, like, good for them.

[Dale Jr.]

It was.

[Amy]

It's always. That's why we do it.

[Dale Jr.]

The waterfall was my favorite. I mean, all the things we did were great. My waterfall was my favorite.

[Ralph]

More than surfing.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. Had you told me that morning that it was a two and a half hour drive, I would have absolutely said, amy, do we got to go do this? Can we get out of this? What do you think? Two and a half hours? Pretty long. Don't you want to not go?

[Amy]

I would have packed the iPad. We had nothing for the kids to do. I thought it was gonna be 30 minutes away. I didn't ask any of those questions either. Cause I thought surely Katie knew better than that. She wouldn't have signed up for two and a half hours. We've all talked about it. If we had known, we wouldn't have said yes to this.

[Dale Jr.]

It was worth it.

[Amy]

It was worth it.

[Dale Jr.]

It's a weird thing where I wouldn't have went knowing it was two and a half hours, but it was worth it.

[Amy]

That's like a God's plan thing.

[Dale Jr.]

It was.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

Hey, this is Dale Jr. And for the latest Bless yous Heart gear, go to shop.dirtymomedia.com We've got plenty of options for everybody and adding new stuff every day. Go to shop.dirtymomedia.com Many people are back

[Ralph]

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[Announcer]

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[Dale Jr.]

the property of their respective owners.

[Announcer]

Get your Arby's Angus cheesesteaks delivered or at an Arby's near you Today.

[Amy]

We did also go surfing and that was a blast.

[Dale Jr.]

Surfing was really hard.

[Amy]

I have wanted to learn how to surf my entire life.

[Ralph]

I've been to Hawaii once and I'm mad that I didn't take lessons. I was like 16. It would have been perfect.

[Amy]

It would have been perfect. We went to Hawaii for our honeymoon. We were on the island that Laird Hamilton lives on and Jimmy Johnson just happens to be friends with him. And he's like, you guys should go meet Laird. And we were like, absolutely not. We are not surfers. We can't go surf with Laird Hamilton. You kidding me? So we also passed up on some opportunities to surf and probably could have learned how to do it back then.

[Dale Jr.]

I let my. I let my anxiety get. Get a hold of Amy.

[Ralph]

Shocker.

[Amy]

Well, I would have embarrassed myself too.

[Dale Jr.]

Like, and we were newlyweds.

[Amy]

Threshold for embarrassment.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm not embarrassed on the first day. You know, the first couple of weeks, the first week together.

[Amy]

It didn't stop him from taking his video games.

[Dale Jr.]

Let's just say that to my. To the honeymoon. Oh, yeah, of course. I don't remember that.

[Amy]

Yeah, you do. We were sitting in bed. Like he would wake up in the middle of the night and now he was like on his little thing, gaming. Like, this has got to be a

[Dale Jr.]

joke on my iPad.

[Amy]

I don't think so. You had stuff, huh?

[Dale Jr.]

Weird.

[Amy]

We were gone for like at least two weeks. And so. Yeah, he packed his. Like, this is a. This can't be real. This can't be real life. Yeah. So we've learned how to surf in Costa Rica and it was a blast. We had a great group of coaches. Everybody had like their own instructor basically.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

And we were on this perfect beach really close to where.

[Dale Jr.]

How long did we surf?

[Announcer]

Two hours.

[Amy]

Two hours? Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

And they had a photographer there, and

[Amy]

I'm still waiting on the photos island thing.

[Dale Jr.]

I said, this photographer. If this photographer got a picture of me surfing, they are one of the best photographers in the world because I was only upright for about 10 seconds in the entire two hours.

[Amy]

I thought you did pretty good.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, man, I don't remember.

[Amy]

Well, you went back out there and tried to get on your own, too. So, like, for the first hour, I

[Dale Jr.]

don't remember ever really getting up successfully and looking like I was actually surfing.

[Amy]

I did, I did. I know I did. The kids did fabulously. Nicole, at one point, she was on her knee just, like, doing her arms like this. And it was the cutest thing.

[Dale Jr.]

I never surfed long enough to look around and go, yep, there's the way, there's the board and I'm up.

[Amy]

Well, we weren't that far out either.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, I know, but I'm just saying, like, I need just two seconds that for that, like, recognition. And I never got it. Yeah, it was like, we're up and we're down. It was all. It was hard as hell, Isla.

[Amy]

Speaking of hard.

[Dale Jr.]

So much fun.

[Amy]

It was so much fun. Isla's hard head. She gets there and she doesn't like to be forced to do anything right. It's got.

[Dale Jr.]

Girl don't like competition, she don't like challenging, she don't like getting challenged.

[Amy]

New situations. She has to decide that she's going to do it or she's not doing it. She is the one, by the way, when I told her the list of excursion options, surfing was the one she wanted. She has always wanted to be a little surfer. She wanted to do this. So I reminded her of that when we got to the beach because she was like, mom, I'm not doing it. I'm not surfing. Like, you chose this. Yes, you are. And she's like, no, I'm not. And so we get there and she just sits in the sand and pouts. And all the other kids are with their instructor learning how to get up on their boards on the beach. They give you all the lessons on the sand first. And she's sitting under the tree, you know, pouting. And eventually when we all start heading towards the water, she decides she wants to change her mind. So she has another instructor come over and work with her. And eventually she's in the water. She's come back and forth a couple times, and I look over after just getting tired and holding my board. And this. This surfer has her on the surfboard above his head. He's carrying her around like an Egyptian queen on this fricking thing. She's not even paddling out. I'm like, how did she work this out for herself, Little queen?

[Dale Jr.]

She didn't like. When the wave comes, you gotta lift the nose of the board, but it's still gonna get you a little bit. And she must have told him, I don't like the water splashing me and getting my eyes.

[Amy]

She worked the system, and he's like,

[Dale Jr.]

perfectly pick you up. I mean, these are big boys. They're strong young men. So they're like, take her right out there. And it was something.

[Amy]

It was a sight to be seen. Surely that's on film. At some point.

[Dale Jr.]

I couldn't get. I couldn't get up on the board and surf the wave more than 10 seconds. It was so much fun. And trying to do it and failing and all that was fun. And I'd go do it again in a minute, and I. I would be very interested in trying to learn how to be somewhat competent at surfing. All of our girls, Kobe and Katie's girls, were surfing like crazy because they're so lightweight and the.

[Amy]

The guys, gravity and all.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, the guys would get. The guys are on the back of the surfboard. It was so smart. I'm thinking to myself, like, this is going to be a pain in the ass for the girls. They're going to hate this. They're going to get frustrated. It's not going to be fun.

[Amy]

One good fly.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. One bad. They're going to be freaking throwing fits and stomping off. But the guys. I'm encouraging anybody, if you ever get a chance to do this, to take your kids into how easy and fun it was for them. The guys get behind the board, and they're on the back of the board holding it, and you're in. These waves are very small. And they will. They'll. It's more like they'll hold the board. As the waves coming, they say to the kid, all right, stand up. They'll hold the board so the kid's not going to make the board wobbly. They're going to hold the board. All right, get up. You get up. And the kid gets up and gets in their position. And then they just kind of push the board off as the wave gets there. And then the kid just stands.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

And they just.

[Announcer]

They.

[Dale Jr.]

They are surfing wave.

[Ralph]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

And they are surfing wave after wave after. I looked over there and they're like. I'm like, these kids are kicking ass.

[Amy]

They are. It was great. I was also worried about that part that they were going to crash and crash and crash. I was worried about not having, like, having one instructor or two and then us trying to figure out who was going to man a kid. Yeah, it was nothing like that. Everybody had.

[Dale Jr.]

They were awesome. Everything they needed of instructors were so. They were pleasant and they. They took to them kids. It was almost as they. It's almost as if they preferred to work with. To work with the children than. Than us.

[Amy]

But it was great experience. And the catamaran experience was good too. That boat ride was wonderful.

[Dale Jr.]

I like catamaran. So I'm trying to talk me and Kobe while you guys are off planning, you know, your trips without me and my input. Me and Kobe are on the side planning a catamaran.

[Amy]

He's planning a life change for the group. No, this is way different.

[Ralph]

This is the retirement plan.

[Dale Jr.]

No, no.

[Amy]

So there was one point where Kobe was wanting to build a boat.

[Dale Jr.]

Why are you hijacking this?

[Amy]

Quit working. And like, they were gonna live on the water. And we all talked him out of it.

[Dale Jr.]

Me and Kobe want one of our next trips to be a four night on a catamaran. Like a 50 or 60 foot that

[Amy]

I can get down with. But there is also a conversation that happens especially after a couple days.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, we're not talking about that right now.

[Amy]

Where they're gonna buy a boat and be their own boat captains and we're gonna sail around.

[Ralph]

You need a bosun, because I'll. You can hire me. I'll work on it.

[Amy]

Like, wait a second. You know how much work it takes to become a captain of a boat? And there's levels you have to go through that takes a certain amount of time and hours. I'm not gonna get a plane.

[Ralph]

We're just, you know, I'll go to bosun school.

[Dale Jr.]

Amy doesn't understand one thing. When you go on vacation, right? And you're. You're in a beautiful place. There's beautiful trees, beautiful weather, beach. There's all this going on. And you're miles away from all the regular going on in life, right. And all the responsibilities, and you're sitting with somebody who's drinking a beer, and you're like, man, well, I'd get a boat. It's a conversation in the middle of the day.

[Ralph]

It's like the same thing as, what would you do if you won the lottery?

[Dale Jr.]

Yes, it is. It's just a conversation, dude.

[Ralph]

You sitting there like, man, you're at a bar. Like, dude, I'd love to buy a bar like this and just run it.

[Announcer]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

You want to do it? Let's do it.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Announcer]

What would you.

[Dale Jr.]

What would you do?

[Amy]

Yeah, I mean, you know, we're talking about Dale, though. When he wants something, he usually does it, and there's not a whole lot of stop, you know?

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, but I know I'm not just going to pluck y' all out of your freaking current situation and go put you on a catamaran. You're not going to get on board with that.

[Amy]

If y' all are teaming up, that makes me a little nervous. Also, when people go on vacation, some people. Some people don't want the stress of what their husbands might come conjure up. You know what I mean?

[Dale Jr.]

Like, listen, that's the I'm going to daydream and what ifs.

[Amy]

Yeah, I know, but usually your daydreams turn into real things. Well, she said, no. Like, can we. Can we just. There's some real.

[Dale Jr.]

But that wasn't a far. Getting that houseboat. I'd had houseboats.

[Amy]

Yeah, I know. I know you have, but you've had lots of things. You usually get what you want. So when y' all start talking as a collective now about this boat situation, I'm thinking this might actually happen.

[Dale Jr.]

You don't. You would never live on a boat for a while.

[Amy]

Why do I want to do that?

[Ralph]

I don't see that.

[Dale Jr.]

See the Caribbean.

[Amy]

I want to vacation on a boat, but I don't want to live on a boat.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, okay.

[Amy]

No.

[Ralph]

Have a little dinghy that you take to shore. You can go into the city or whatever and bop around.

[Amy]

I don't think so.

[Ralph]

You gotta daydream more, Amy. I thought.

[Dale Jr.]

I thought that that was really who you were, man, you know?

[Amy]

What about this gave you the idea that I wanted to live on a boat?

[Dale Jr.]

You lived.

[Amy]

Living at the beach. Living at the beach doesn't mean I want to live on a boat full time.

[Dale Jr.]

You.

[Amy]

How does that translate from one to the other?

[Dale Jr.]

I don't know. I mean, I don't know anyone that wouldn't. If you were like, hey, man, catamaran for five years. What do you say? I don't think many people are going to turn that down.

[Amy]

If I was 25, honey, maybe so. But I'm 44. Like, yeah, I think that we've, like, the thing. The same thing as, like, you don't

[Dale Jr.]

think the Robert Redford haircut retiring to the sea and living down in the islands. I mean, that's probably what most of the average median age of people down there on boats is probably 50, 60 years old.

[Amy]

Do you think they lived on them full time?

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah, for a part of the year. Probably not all year, but, yeah, I'm sure they live down there for. That's probably like, once their kids are out of the house and they're done, they're retired, they probably got a boat and they go down there and spend six months. Maybe they spend the rest in Phoenix for all I know. I don't know.

[Amy]

Maybe I ain't doing it with kids.

[Dale Jr.]

You ain't doing it? Not with the kids, no.

[Amy]

Well, Kobe's talks about getting a homeschool teacher, and now. Now I'm homeschooling kids and like.

[Dale Jr.]

Wait, he said he's getting a homeschooled teacher?

[Amy]

No, he said you could homeschool. And I was like, I'm not a teacher. And so he's like, we'll hire a teacher. Like, now we have an extra person on the boat. The walls are closing in. I need another beer. Margarita. Somebody drink. Yeah, somebody bear me.

[Dale Jr.]

You're gonna drink margaritas either way.

[Amy]

I know. You're right. I feel like that added one in there, though, that conversation.

[Dale Jr.]

Man. Man, I wonder. Now I'm curious. Like, when I daydream with my buddies, it's talk about, you know, living on.

[Ralph]

What would be.

[Dale Jr.]

What it'd be like to live on a boat or what it'd be like to own a bar or what if I lived in this part of the country or this town or if I moved here. You know, you're just wondering. And of course, it's not going to be as good as your mind makes it to be. But now I'm wondering, like, when Amy is thinking about this in her own mind, where is she putting herself?

[Amy]

I'm living by myself.

[Ralph]

I. I think about this, like, once a week.

[Dale Jr.]

You're living alone? Where?

[Amy]

I don't know.

[Dale Jr.]

You have no idea where?

[Amy]

I mean, I haven't thought about it.

[Dale Jr.]

Just alone.

[Amy]

I'm just. Somebody leave me alone.

[Dale Jr.]

You're in Alaska. Oh, all right. Are you warm?

[Announcer]

Cold?

[Amy]

I'm probably at the beach.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh.

[Amy]

But I'm not on a boat.

[Dale Jr.]

Okay. Do you like Florida? South Carolina, Caribbean? West coast? Hawaii? Australia?

[Amy]

I'm scared to answer these questions.

[Dale Jr.]

Because you think I might make it happen?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Dale Jr.]

Why would that be a problem?

[Amy]

Because I'm happy. Where I'm at is why I'm content. That's the thing. Like, I'm content. And I don't need to daydream about, like, making a change.

[Dale Jr.]

Content, too. But I also, like, I've been here a long time. I've been on the. The property that I'm on. I've been there for 20 years. I'm like, yeah, it's not what I want to be all my life. I think that there's more to life

[Amy]

now that we have everything we've ever wanted. Let's get rid of it and move and not get rid of it.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm just saying, like, you were talking

[Amy]

about selling the farm, too, when we were gone.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, I just think that I'd sell it because I'd need the money. But if we don't need the money and it's not too much to leave it, we'll just stay. You know, we can go sit on our boat for four months or so forth and then let somebody, you know, let some company charter it.

[Ralph]

But, Dale, I do have to call you out, though. Cause I joked with you guys when we were texting about Key West. I said I might just not come back. And you're like, I say that all the time. And then I want to come back.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

So I don't know if you truly could.

[Amy]

No, he's a homebody.

[Ralph]

Yeah. You talk a big game and it's your daydreams, but you really want to go back to your house where you have everything right there.

[Dale Jr.]

This is true.

[Amy]

That's absolutely true. Travis.

[Ralph]

Let him daydream. Let him have these dreams. He's going to come back.

[Amy]

We even had the house in Key west, and we would go down there, and Key west is wonderful. I love the city. Like, we were down there for such a long sense of time. Sometimes in the off season, whatever. It felt like we were living there. You know what I mean? We weren't, like, in the bar all day, every day. We like cooking, going to the grocery store, living normally, relaxing, you know, as

[Dale Jr.]

normal as you could.

[Amy]

In Key West. Yeah, right. In Key West. Because it's a pirate city. Right. And, you know, eventually, like, you're like, okay, this is great, but this isn't home. It's like, yeah, you want to go home?

[Dale Jr.]

Well, maybe I would want to do the boat. We go do the boat. And I go, yeah, that was cool. But not everything I thought it was. It was actually not as perfect as my mind made it out to be. And to his point, it's something I tried and enjoyed and can say I did.

[Amy]

I think you should just have a good, long vacation on one and that would probably scratch the itch.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, that's what me and Kobe are

[Amy]

trying to plan, like a month.

[Dale Jr.]

We have brought this back around.

[Amy]

Oh, for next.

[Ralph]

Do like a two week vacation.

[Dale Jr.]

Do like a four day minimum. Four nights.

[Amy]

We went from five years to four nights.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm.

[Announcer]

I did.

[Dale Jr.]

That was what this whole conversation started with was me and Kobe have planning a little. Just like y' all planted this little Costa Rica thing. Me and Kobe are trying to do this catamaran. Could you imagine waking up in the morning and just being able to jump off the boat?

[Amy]

That would be wonderful.

[Ralph]

Be amazing. Sign me up for it.

[Dale Jr.]

Hey, man, I'm waking up.

[Ralph]

So there's a show.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm gonna take a dip. Give me a cup of coffee and rock. Rock the rest of this day.

[Amy]

I'm gonna rock this day.

[Dale Jr.]

Have you seen how else am I gonna get a tan?

[Ralph]

You can't tan.

[Dale Jr.]

I can if you put me on a boat for four years.

[Amy]

Okay.

[Dale Jr.]

Way I'm going to come off there

[Amy]

with a tan Now I want to do it. Now. I want to do it. You grow your hair out, you get a tannin and you're on the boat now. Now I'm in.

[Ralph]

Look like Robert Redford out there.

[Amy]

You will. You'll look just like Robert Redford.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Yeah. He's scared of life at not being a captain of his own boat.

[Ralph]

Well, that's different.

[Amy]

No, it isn't.

[Ralph]

Yes, it is.

[Amy]

You could sink that thing two seconds.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm not. I'm going to call myself the captain. They'll actually be a real captain.

[Amy]

You can't just call yourself the captain. Well, the captain. Think.

[Dale Jr.]

Okay, I'm the captain now. Hey, man, I'm tired. You're the captain now. All right.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh. No one's gonna sign up to.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm gonna wake up in the morning.

[Announcer]

I.

[Dale Jr.]

And I'm captain again,

[Ralph]

but on autopilot.

[Amy]

Captain Jack Sparrow is who he is.

[Ralph]

Give me a drink.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. Am I gonna hit anything for the next 200 miles?

[Amy]

Nope. Okay, the anchor's out.

[Ralph]

Ralph Dale's the captain when it's anchored.

[Amy]

Yeah. Perfect. I'm the park parking captain. Oh, my gosh.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, man, that's so funny.

[Amy]

We got home the other night and I'm sitting in the living room by myself. Dale has gone to bed at 8:30, which, because he wasn't feeling well. And I'm watching TV and I got

[Dale Jr.]

tears in my eyes.

[Amy]

I know that there's nobody in the house with me. Gus is even upstairs. So I know Gus is not even around, and all of a sudden I start hearing this weird noise, like something fell in the kitchen. Not like a light noise. It was a hard noise, like something fell off the shelf, whatever. There's nothing in there that is unstable. Right. And so I just freeze. And I finally get the nerve. Oh, and look over my shoulder. There's no.

[Dale Jr.]

There's the boogeyman.

[Amy]

That's like, one of my greatest fears. I'm gonna wake up or, like, all of a sudden, somebody's gonna be standing over me.

[Dale Jr.]

Truly, I know it. She's sitting there thinking there could be somebody in the kitchen, and then slowly turns her head. Well, like, would it be really funny if there was a guy back there that was, like, had broken in the house and he was also frozen, wondering if she was gonna turn around?

[Amy]

Look, do you think that's how it would play out? Oh, like, I'm getting scared just sitting here thinking about it. The hallway down to the garage. Somebody could sneak in there and hang out and wait for you to go to bed, for me to stay up or. I don't know. Maybe they're in there to just to hang out with you. I don't know. That is a fear that someone's going to be standing over me in the middle of the night. So I hear another crash. Now I'm scared to death. I get up and I'm looking around. I'm, like, slithering, if you will, around the couch, looking around that kitchen. I go down by the dining table, look down the other side of the kitchen. There's nobody there. So I'm like, what the hell is that? I'm, like, looking around. There's nothing falling over nothing. And then it happens again that it's a bigger crash. And I look back as it's happening, and it's the damn ice machine, the refrigerator, ice machine. Just dropping ice all over the floor.

[Announcer]

Really?

[Amy]

Yes.

[Dale Jr.]

Had you just made a drink?

[Amy]

No, I had not made one.

[Dale Jr.]

How long is it dropping ice into the floor?

[Amy]

It hadn't. I don't know. It's not making ice right now, so something's wrong. You need to just look at that. It just spilled out all over the floor.

[Dale Jr.]

It quit making ice in two days.

[Amy]

I went over there and messed with it. The thing was trapped open, and it was making it. And it was just falling out as it was making it.

[Dale Jr.]

And the floor wasn't full of water.

[Amy]

Well, I picked it all up. Once I realized what was going on, I picked it up. It had not happened until that.

[Dale Jr.]

You had to have just made a drink and sat down earlier, and that had opened the trap. The trap stuck open. Not any fault of your own?

[Amy]

I don't remember.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, if it had been open for hours and days, making ice falling into the floor, you'd have one.

[Amy]

I'm not the only one that uses it after. It doesn't matter. It could have happened. All I'm saying is I got scared to death by the ice machine the other night, and now I need you to look at the ice machine to make sure that it's. I closed it.

[Dale Jr.]

Yep. I'll work it.

[Amy]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Have you ever been paralyzed by, like, just a noise? Dale thought there was a rat. And there's nothing in there.

[Dale Jr.]

There is something up there messing around. I heard it.

[Amy]

How do you hear that? Over. It was thundering.

[Dale Jr.]

Elite hearing.

[Amy]

No, you don't.

[Dale Jr.]

Yes, I do. I am a trained athlete. I'm a race car driver. I have elite senses for critter noises in the app, for anything.

[Announcer]

I can hear.

[Dale Jr.]

I can hear the wheel bearing in, the right tire going bad. I can hear. You know, I can hear the sticker coming off of the right rear tire in the corner. There it goes.

[Amy]

That was a hard. That was hard. That was hard to listen to.

[Dale Jr.]

Really?

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

I would assume the drivers actually have bad hearing because of all the noises.

[Amy]

It's selective. It's very selective.

[Dale Jr.]

No, you're. You're tuned in to, like, pick up on anything.

[Ralph]

No, you can. You can feel something coming loose. You don't hear it?

[Dale Jr.]

No, no, no. You'll be like, hey, man, that. That. That turned a few more rpms. I could tell. I can hear it. That.

[Ralph]

Amy, just remember this. When he say something, and a day later, it's like, I didn't hear you say it. Well, you had a lead hearing.

[Amy]

I have now. Like, we've reached this new level where I can go, Dale, honey. Ralph Earnhardt. And, like, still, I've been asked. Isla, the girls are. Could be total witnesses to this. They have been witnesses to this. Go over to get your dad's attention, and Isla or Nicole will stand right in front of him and say, dad. Dad.

[Dale Jr.]

What am I doing, dad.

[Amy]

Looking at your phone. Phone, phone. He doesn't hear anything. You have to throw something at him.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm focused on that. Whatever's going on on my phone.

[Amy]

Yeah. So it's selective. I feel like you can hear things when it comes to cars. And I guess we're gonna throw critters in that bucket now too, but not women.

[Announcer]

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[Ralph]

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[Amy]

We had an impromptu wedding.

[Dale Jr.]

We were in Costa Rica where I renewed my vows. Everybody.

[Amy]

Yeah. We had Adelyn as our officiant.

[Ralph]

So that's Katie's daughter, right?

[Amy]

Katie's oldest?

[Announcer]

Yes.

[Dale Jr.]

Something got our girls excited about marriage. And then they determined. They determined that me and Amy were gonna renew our vows.

[Amy]

They were picking flowers and they made these little flower bouquets and they were like, we should have a wedding.

[Dale Jr.]

It turned into a full production, and

[Amy]

then we were like, okay, great. Everyone has a white dress, right? So they got cleaned up. Everyone has a little cute little white sundress on. And we all got ready. We were gonna go to dinner anyway, so, like, we had to get ready for going out. But yeah, we had an impromptu wedding in the living room of our house. I thought that was so cute.

[Dale Jr.]

It was.

[Amy]

The kids loved it.

[Dale Jr.]

It was. But I renewed my vows, so we're good there for a while.

[Ralph]

Did you put in there? Must buy a catamaran with me.

[Dale Jr.]

It's kind of like renewing your subscription.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm just kidding.

[Amy]

I am so lucky.

[Ralph]

Nope.

[Amy]

So it says, now I want another margarita.

[Dale Jr.]

What is renewing?

[Amy]

You're gonna fall over in that damn chair.

[Dale Jr.]

Renewing your vows is like signing back up for the. For the marriage, isn't it?

[Amy]

I mean, it feels. It feels a little more important than that. It was a. The whole thing was a. Was a play production for the kids. We did not even say real vows. Adeline didn't even know what to say. We were feeding her the lines and Dale was like, nop, nop. Not saying any of that. I'm so glad to be here. We have it on video. Have you watched it?

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, no.

[Amy]

Kobe walked me down the aisle. Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, Jesus.

[Amy]

We had the.

[Dale Jr.]

What did I say?

[Amy]

You were like, I'm just so excited to be here. That was my vow pretty much. It was real simple.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. Oh, my gosh.

[Amy]

It was fun. The kids loved it.

[Dale Jr.]

I enjoyed it. I thought it was neat. I'm glad.

[Announcer]

Our kids.

[Amy]

So how long is my subscription renewal?

[Ralph]

It's an auto. One year. One year. It's got the Amazon prime and Amy.

[Announcer]

Ten years.

[Amy]

I could cancel. Cancel at any time.

[Dale Jr.]

Every 10 years.

[Amy]

Oh, yeah. It is 10 years.

[Dale Jr.]

It's 10 this year.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

What are we going to do?

[Amy]

I guess we're going to take out a catamaran.

[Dale Jr.]

Hey, no, I'm planning.

[Amy]

I want a catamaran trip and I

[Dale Jr.]

want to talk about this.

[Announcer]

10 years.

[Dale Jr.]

Our 10 year anniversary is coming up. I'm going to plan it. Unless you want to be included or involved in the planning of it.

[Amy]

You're not going to plan it by yourself. So I'd rather plan it with you than you and somebody else.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, I have an idea. Have two ideas.

[Amy]

Okay. Let's talk about Alphair all right, we're

[Ralph]

gonna play a game. It's gonna be blind ranking. So there's five of them, and I'll give you an item and thing, and then you guys together, though, have to decide on what the ranking is.

[Amy]

Got it.

[Ralph]

Okay, so the first item is pizza. You rank it one through five.

[Dale Jr.]

Pizza line ranking. Food.

[Ralph]

Yeah.

[Amy]

Pizza. Three.

[Dale Jr.]

Number two for me.

[Amy]

Two's good. I love pizza.

[Ralph]

Liver mush.

[Amy]

5.

[Announcer]

Damn.

[Amy]

You're gonna have something better than liver mush.

[Dale Jr.]

You think it gets better every time?

[Amy]

No, probably not, but can we put it at 4? If we put it at 4 and he says queso dip and we have to put that at five, I'm gonna lose it.

[Dale Jr.]

I can't put lush at five. It's insulting. Deliver mode.

[Amy]

It's in the game.

[Dale Jr.]

Okay, five.

[Ralph]

Next one is burrito.

[Dale Jr.]

Ooh, three or four. You pick it. You got to save one for the

[Amy]

last three

[Ralph]

mozzarella sticks.

[Dale Jr.]

See, we should have put. We should have put mozzarella sticks at 5 and Livermos at 4. I don't like mozzarella sticks. They're usually disappointing. I mean, when you get them, they're not as good as you want them to be.

[Amy]

I feel like.

[Dale Jr.]

I think there's a lot of people that raise their hand to that.

[Amy]

There's no one listening that's going to choose a liver mush patty over a mozzarella stick, dude.

[Dale Jr.]

Okay. But they're never. Mozzarella sticks just aren't hitting like they did 20 years ago. They're usually. They're usually frozen.

[Amy]

They're still frozen.

[Dale Jr.]

No, they come out of the back frozen. They heat. They throw them in the fryer, and they get them, and they're like.

[Amy]

Well, even if you make them at home, you have to put them in the freezer before you fry them. It's part of the process.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm just saying. You know what I mean? They're like. It's a frozen, crappy product. That's not as I'm getting mozzarella sticks at the restaurant. I'm not making the at home. You aren't either. I'm buying them at dinner, and they're very disappointing most times.

[Amy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Ralph]

So I assume it's going at 4.

[Dale Jr.]

Somebody send me. Somebody send me somewhere where I get some damn good mozzarella sticks. All right, well, James, walk in on that line.

[Ralph]

You got lucky.

[Amy]

He's hating hard over here on the mozzarella sticks.

[Ralph]

You got lucky on this one. The last one is buffalo shrimp.

[Amy]

Oh, number one.

[Dale Jr.]

See? Number one, Yeah, I knew it was gonna be buffalo something.

[Amy]

But listen, a burrito might be over pizza.

[Ralph]

This one.

[Dale Jr.]

Not after the couple of days I've had. No way I'm taking a burrito down.

[Amy]

It ain't a burrito's fault, man. I'm doing a burrito whenever, whatever you try to.

[Dale Jr.]

I think I want a margarita.

[Amy]

More Elvis. Like I'm trying to convince me of something.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm trying. I'm trying to turn burrito into margarita. I think what I really need is a margarita right now.

[Amy]

Yes, that would be good.

[Ralph]

All right, next one. Brooks and Dunn.

[Amy]

I would say two. Yeah, I'll give him two.

[Ralph]

Alan Jackson.

[Announcer]

Damn.

[Dale Jr.]

You want to put him at one one or.

[Amy]

He's one or three?

[Dale Jr.]

All right, One.

[Ralph]

Dwight Yoakum.

[Dale Jr.]

Three.

[Amy]

Three.

[Ralph]

Garth Brooks.

[Amy]

Five. King George. George Strait, four. Hey, well, listen, that whole lineup's great. Yeah, that was easy.

[Ralph]

Well, that's it for the game.

[Amy]

Jesus, Travis, come on.

[Dale Jr.]

You've been anticlimactic.

[Amy]

Are you okay?

[Dale Jr.]

Travis seems disappointed.

[Amy]

Are you okay?

[Ralph]

No, I'm fine. We've been going for 90 minutes.

[Dale Jr.]

You seem very disappointed.

[Amy]

He's still. He's. He's already onto margaritas, too. He's thinking about a margarita now.

[Ralph]

I really am. I'm. The next two weeks is all I care about. And so I'm not even focused on

[Dale Jr.]

what has got pooped on by a brown booby.

[Amy]

I got pooped on by a brown booby on the boat.

[Dale Jr.]

What the brown be.

[Amy]

It's the type of seagull. So here's the thing. We're on this catamaran. We're on the catamaran, and I'm sitting in the, like, the net thing in the front with all the kids, and all of a sudden, I get. And all the kids start pointing and laughing at me. And.

[Dale Jr.]

Did I know you ever, at any point, got on?

[Amy]

Yes. Yes. Oh, I mean, it wasn't like it was an easy cleanup. It wasn't that big of a deal. Anyway, I went inside because I was. I had a margarita, and I was worried that it got near my margarita.

[Ralph]

Hey, I'm finding a trend here.

[Dale Jr.]

That's the drinking word for this.

[Amy]

I think we need. We also need to do that next week. Let's have a word and make a drinking game for people, I suppose somebody. I don't know how we tee that up, but anyway, I go inside to get a new drink and make sure I'm cleaned up, and the guy in the kitchen is, like. He's got all these pamphlets of all the Native birds and all the native things. And he gets one out, and he shows me what I got pooped on, like, the bird that was flying around. And it's called a brown booby. So I got on by a brown booby.

[Ralph]

Isn't that supposed to be, like, good luck if that happens?

[Amy]

I think it's on your wedding day, like, certain times when that's a good omen. And I think people make like that up to make you not feel bad about it.

[Ralph]

Yeah, well, it was. You did get your.

[Amy]

I'm so sorry.

[Dale Jr.]

We were in.

[Amy]

It was the day before. Yeah.

[Dale Jr.]

When we did the catamaran, we sailed out quite a ways. It was really fun. And they took us to this lagoon, and there were other boats there kind of doing the same thing. And there was another catamaran. And I. I mean, we were getting so close to this damn thing, I thought we might hit it. But the boys on the boats were not worried one bit. But, I mean, we got within 5, 10ft of it.

[Amy]

It was a group of girls from Texas having a bachelorette party.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah. And there was.

[Amy]

They were wide open.

[Dale Jr.]

They were wide ass open, blaring music. We didn't even need to play our music. They were blaring out of their music. And I was having a fun time watching our girls look over there.

[Amy]

They were, like, figuring out, what. What are they doing? They're dancing and partying, like, jumping off the top. And then they started encouraging our girls to jump off the side of the boat and, like, they're interacting with the kids.

[Dale Jr.]

Boat to jump off. And the cat. The. The. The. The bachelorette party were like, jump, jump.

[Announcer]

It was fun.

[Dale Jr.]

And the girls would jump in the

[Amy]

water, and they thought they were so big. It was really cute. And then Kobe jumped off, and he got no cheers. And Dale's like, hey, you get cheers.

[Dale Jr.]

Kobe's like, oh, man, they're cheering.

[Amy]

I'm gonna jump.

[Dale Jr.]

I'm gonna go jump. And Kobe jumps off, and they didn't cheer. And I.

[Ralph]

I do have one question before we wrap. It hit me this weekend. Why does every person that makes guacamole claim that their guacamole is the best? I feel like no one ever just presents guacamole. They have the best.

[Amy]

I have one answer, and I think it's because there's so much work that goes into grinding that up. Everybody must appreciate it, and that's all it is. But I don't know. It's the most simple thing. There's only three or four ingredients. We ate guacamole every single day on our trip.

[Dale Jr.]

So, I mean, if your. If your guac doesn't have lime juice in, it ain't worth.

[Amy]

Well, it has to have lime juice.

[Dale Jr.]

Not a lot of. Some people don't put lime lime juice in their guac.

[Ralph]

That's. Yeah.

[Amy]

Do you make guac?

[Ralph]

I don't. I'm not a big guac fan.

[Amy]

Oh, really?

[Ralph]

Why do you need. You don't need it. When you have queso and salsa, I

[Amy]

like to mix them all together, like layered dip.

[Dale Jr.]

So that's what I like to do. I like to take guacamole, hummus, and then salsa and mix them together.

[Amy]

He does. He mixes it all in a bowl and eats it. And it tastes. But it looks. It looks like.

[Announcer]

It looks like.

[Dale Jr.]

It looks like vomit.

[Ralph]

What's the Mexican place in Key west that had the extremely hot salsa amigos

[Amy]

is the only one I know of.

[Ralph]

That must have been that, then.

[Amy]

The way you sit on the rail.

[Ralph]

Yeah. And we were dying.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, it was so hot.

[Ralph]

They did not tell us that they gave us the hot stuff.

[Dale Jr.]

No, it was stupid, really.

[Amy]

You had, like, a pepper tasting.

[Dale Jr.]

Oh, man. Nothing's worse than having too hot of a salsa when you're really hammered.

[Amy]

Yeah, you don't need to sweat. Ouch.

[Ralph]

I was eating ice just, like.

[Amy]

Oh, really? You know, that, like, makes it worse when you have hot peppers or something. You're supposed to eat a plain chip or tortilla to, like, absorb it and get it out of your mouth.

[Ralph]

Remember, he said we were drunk?

[Amy]

Yeah, that's right. Was this before or after the ice cream?

[Dale Jr.]

It's time for us to go somewhere.

[Ralph]

I never got ice cream. I mean, you could daily. I know Amy's already gonna be down there, but it's not too late to just join Matt and I in two weeks.

[Dale Jr.]

Well, I think you need to come raise hell with me and Amy somewhere.

[Ralph]

Sign me up.

[Dale Jr.]

Yeah.

[Amy]

There's a catamaran trip happening, if you want to come.

[Ralph]

I'm in.

[Dale Jr.]

Come on, James.

[Ralph]

James is probably, like, a captain. He's just not even telling us.

[Amy]

James is probably scuba certified. There's, like, whole levels of we don't know what's going on there.

[Dale Jr.]

Probably has his captain license.

[Amy]

Yeah.

[Ralph]

James, do you have your captain license?

[Amy]

Just say yes.

[Dale Jr.]

Yes, absolutely.

[Announcer]

How do you.

[Dale Jr.]

How do you not have your captain's license at this point?

[Amy]

I know. What are you doing?

[Ralph]

He's probably, like. He's a skydiver. Certified person.

[Dale Jr.]

Bosun. We just need to boat.

[Amy]

If Travis is the bosun. He's going to be in the kitchen eating all the snacks and drinking all the margaritas. I don't imagine you being like a service person.

[Ralph]

I'm actually great with, like, making drinks

[Amy]

and delivering conserving drinks.

[Dale Jr.]

No, I don't think we need anybody doing all that. We'll just need some people pulling some ropes and, you know, we just need

[Ralph]

some muscle down, put some bumpers out, so. The bumpers? Yeah, you know, helping tie some simple knots.

[Dale Jr.]

Time. Few knots. Simple knots,

[Ralph]

not elaborate ones.

[Dale Jr.]

Nothing. Yeah, nothing too hard.

[Amy]

Nothing that stays tight. Just. Just a couple little slip knots. Yeah, got it.

[Ralph]

I think it's a good place to end the show.

[Amy]

Thank you guys for listening. Hope you had as much fun as we did. We were so excited to get back in the studio today and if you haven't already, please hit the subscribe button and check out all of the [e-mail] and we'll see you next week.

[Announcer]

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