Protect Your Family Jewels

Summary

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The Dale Jr. Download

Episode: "Protect Your Family Jewels"

Date: January 22, 2026

Host: Dale Earnhardt Jr.

Co-hosts: Amy Earnhardt, Travis (Producer)

Podcast: Dirty Mo Media, SiriusXM

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Episode Overview

The first episode of Season 2 of "Bless Your Heart" (featured as part of The Dale Jr. Download) kicks off with Dale Jr., Amy, and new producer Travis sharing candid, comedic, and heartfelt family stories. The episode focuses on post-holiday chaos, parenting adventures (including solo dad and girls’ trip stories), prepping for a winter storm, home quirks, snack drama, and a playful yet memorable segment on phone placement and “protecting your family jewels.”

The tone is lively, warm, and full of the Earnhardt brand of self-deprecating humor and authentic family dynamic.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Recap & Family Chaos

• Post-Holiday Cleanup: Amy admits their home still has scattered Christmas trinkets even though the tree is gone. ("At our house, the tree has been removed, but my lazy ass has piled... all the Christmas trinkets are in this sitting room." – Amy, 02:19)
• Aging Realities: Lots of laughs about back pain, creaky knees, and "boogers flying out" as you age. (03:06)

2. New Season, New Producer

• Welcoming Travis: The team is excited to have Travis, who brings his own humor and personal anecdotes into the mix. (02:11)

3. Drink of the Week – Cosmopolitan

• Drink Stigma and Humor: Dale and the crew poke fun at the Cosmopolitan’s "girly" reputation, linking it to pop culture and ribbing each other about drink choices.
  • “That's why I call it the Cosmopolitan. I can't do the short version... Cosmo leans even further into the stigma.” – Dale Jr. (05:16)

4. Girls Trip vs. Dad's Solo Parenting

• Amy's Girls Trip: Amy recounts her first big trip with close friends in a decade—snorkeling and conch hunting in Turks and Caicos.
  • "I have a girls group that's like, we ride at dawn if somebody's in trouble." – Amy (11:23)
• Dale’s Solo Week with Kids: Dale tries solo dad duty, initially thinking it’s easy but quickly realizing the exhaustion.
  • "Daddy's really tired. I think he took a nap because he had some assistance." – Amy (13:41)
• Parenting Reset: Dale observes their daughter Nicole acting better after mom leaves, joking that maybe Amy should “go on girls trips more often.” (14:19)
• Support Group for Dads: The dads created a group text to check in and support one another during the week, turning solo parenting into a team effort. (17:40)

5. Communication Styles & Separation

• Dad vs. Mom on Trips: Dale feels obliged to check in constantly while Amy hardly does (“Amy doesn’t really care as much as I think.” – Dale Jr., 15:03).
• No News Is Good News: Amy is unbothered by limited communication, focusing on being present during her time away.

6. Storm Prep & Family Practicality

• Prepping for Winter: Dale shares practical winter weather advice, like using heat lamps to protect plumbing and dripping faucets to prevent freezing.
  • “I like to put some paper towels down in the bottom because it splashes the water everywhere...” – Dale Jr. (25:41)
• Stocking Up: The crew shares classic Southern storm prep lore (milk, bread, and toilet paper), while poking fun at pandemic-era TP panic.
  • “Milk and bread. Milk and bread. And then all of a sudden, Covid came and it was like, toilet paper, Toilet paper, toilet paper.” – Dale Jr. (27:18)

7. Family, Snacks, and Parenting Anecdotes

• Children and Snacks: Nicole (their youngest) is “like living with a raccoon” because of the way she stealthily gets snacks and hides the wrappers. (41:44)
  • "She'll monkey climb all the way up to the top and get whatever. You can't hide anything from her. She's like living with a raccoon." – Amy (41:44)
• Toilet Paper Roll Offender: Nicole is identified as the primary culprit in finishing and not replacing the TP roll. (28:23)
• Snack Politics: The hazards of managing children’s snack intake and Amy’s attempt to encourage healthier choices like beef jerky (with added joke advice for oral health).

8. Dale Jr.’s Quirks & Home DIY

• IT and Wiring OCD: Dale details his ongoing quest to simplify and clean up their home’s electronics wiring, describing it as a two-day therapeutic project.
  • “I can't stand something being in a... tower that's not being used... gets twitchy ocd.” – Dale Jr. (36:15)

9. Dental Mishaps

• Dental Drama: Dale discusses a crown falling out and how his penchant for chewy candies may contribute.
  • "It popped out and he put it on the table and then kept eating his dinner." – Amy (37:32)
• Old School NASCAR Dental Stats: Dale recalls his dad had 11 crowns, so he’ll “still achieve greatness.” (39:01)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "[Cosmopolitans] got a stigma because it's usually like, it's a pink drink and it's in a martini glass." – Amy (05:06)
• "That's why I call it the Cosmopolitan. I can't do the short version." – Dale Jr. (05:16)
• "I have a girls group that's like, we ride at dawn if somebody's in trouble." – Amy (11:23)
• "He texts me after he picked them up from school that day and he's like, this is great and I'm having a good time, but daddy's really tired." – Amy (13:41)
• "I can't stand something being in a... tower that's not being used or not plug in... gets twitchy ocd." – Dale Jr. (36:15)
• "She'll monkey climb all the way up to the top and get whatever. You can't hide anything from her. She's like living with a raccoon." – Amy (41:44)

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Key Timestamps for Important Segments

| Timestamp | Segment/Topic | |-----------|------------------------------------------------------------| | 01:16 | Episode opens, new season and producer introduction | | 04:49 | Cosmopolitan recipe; drink stigma and humorous debate | | 11:08 | Amy’s girls trip story | | 13:16 | Dale as solo parent; dad support group | | 16:01 | Communication differences during trips | | 23:14 | Storm prepping tips | | 27:41 | Toilet paper panic culture | | 33:00 | Parenting perspective: how kids’ personalities just are | | 36:59 | Dale’s dental mishap | | 41:01 | Snack stealth – Nicole’s raccoon moves | | 45:49 | Q&A: Where do you keep your phone? ("Protect your jewels") | | 54:48 | Q&A: Ranking vacation nights | | 58:05 | Upcoming family spring break – ski trip plans |

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Highlight Segment: “Protect Your Family Jewels” (Phone Placement)

[45:49–51:56]

• Listener Q: Where do you keep your phone when it's on your person?
• Dale always keeps his in his back pocket—never in the front pocket to “protect his family jewels”.
  • “I don’t want to put it in my front pocket because I don’t want it close to the jewels.” – Dale Jr. (47:24)
• Comedic debate about phone radiation, carrying machines in your pockets, and lingering male anxieties.
  • “I’m thinking my ass is saving me.” – Dale Jr. (48:19)
• Amy and Travis roast Dale for his worn out jeans pocket and his evolving phone-carrying logic.

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Fan Q&A Fun

• Children’s Shows They’d Avoid Rewatching: Earnhardts debate the fatigue of shows like Cocomelon and the “mean girl” lessons of Barbie content. (52:13)
• Ranking Vacation Nights: Dale insists night one is the “blowout” and last night is always a bummer—it’s when reality seeps in. (55:31)
• Upcoming Plans: Family is going skiing for spring break, marking a different beat from their usual beach trips. (58:08)

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Final Notes

This episode delivers a perfect blend of humor, honesty, and down-home wisdom. From Debbie Downer storm forecasts to self-deprecating parenting stories and quirky Earnhardt household confessions, listeners are treated to a real slice of the Earnhardt family life. The titular "Protect Your Family Jewels" segment is a comedic but relatable highlight, making this episode especially memorable.

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For full episodes, merch, and more, visit: Dirty Mo Media

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Transcript

[A]

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[B]

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[C]

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[A]

Oh, yeah. This is the way it's going to be, girl. We're going to hang out, open a bunch of jars. You got big strong hands. Are you suffering from high crack?

[C]

I'm working.

[A]

Working that mout. Hi, guys. Dale Jr. And I are back for our first episode of our second season of Bless yous Heart. We're in the Dirty Mo Media Studios. How's it going? Hall of Famer.

[C]

Hall of Famer.

[A]

Yeah. It's hall of Fame week.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

I figured I'd fluff you a little.

[C]

I am not gonna get to go.

[A]

No. That's Daddy Daughter dancing.

[C]

Daddy daughter dance. Yeah. Yeah. The hall of Fame's inducting their folks and. And I'm gonna have to miss it this year, but for good reason.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Yeah, I'm good to answer your question.

[A]

Oh, good.

[C]

Glad we're back.

[A]

I'm glad. I'm glad we're back too.

[C]

I've been.

[A]

I missed the squeaky chair.

[C]

I've been missing doing the show and.

[A]

Yeah, we're excited to have Travis on board this year.

[B]

Looking forward to it.

[C]

Oh, yeah, we got a new producer.

[A]

We have a new producer.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

You know him very well though.

[C]

That was a surprise under the tree this morning.

[A]

The tree is still up. Some of the Christmas decorations actually are still up. At our house, the tree has been removed, but my lazy ass has piled. Like, I'm gathering all the Christmas trinkets, and they're all in this sitting room. The totes are there. I just haven't stuff in.

[C]

We talked about it.

[A]

Out.

[C]

Yeah, it's hap. It'll happen. We've been busy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There's literally not been kind of. For Amy, at least that I can recall. There's not really been a day that just kind of, okay, I got today to do a project or do whatever. I'm gonna do this.

[B]

I thought Dale might have taken the initiative last week and put some of the stuff away.

[C]

She just came back from a big trip.

[A]

Yeah. So right before the trip, though, I threw out my back, so I wasn't lifting anything. Just. This is part of being old. We talked about being a granny right before we started. Started the show. Travis is 38. He's on the cusp of granniness. And you better watch out. Your back's gonna start doing weird things. Your knees are starting to start creaking. You're gonna start just having boogers fly out of your nose for no reason.

[C]

You'll be having boogers accumulate in the corners of your nose. I get that.

[B]

I don't know if it's because it's maybe just too dry right now with the air.

[C]

I used to not have to worry about keeping that thing free and clear, but it.

[B]

I wake up in the morning, and it's just like, daily.

[A]

They're everywhere.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Do you sleep with your mouth open?

[B]

I do. I drool a lot.

[A]

That's amazing. Okay, so you're drooling and snotty every. When you wake up in the morning. You're crusty all over.

[B]

Yes. Five year old.

[A]

This is why you're single.

[B]

Well, I'm not.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

All right, all right. Should we talk about the drink of the week? Presented by High Rock Vodka.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Today's drink of the week is a Cosmopolitan. You know, hear about these. I don't know what's in them, what's one of my favorites, but, yeah, you hear people ordering these all the time. On a few occasions this year where you're going to line up the. The cocktail that we have with Hyrox drink of the week on their social channels. So check out Hyrox social channels. We put a lot of content out on there, and we'll be having, you know, whatever we're having here is likely going to line up with what they're promoting.

[A]

You can also review the Recipes as well.

[C]

Right. So the Cosmopolitan is a. You got to combine all this in a shaker with ice. 2 ounces of high rock vodka, 1.5 ounces of triple sec, 1.5 ounces of cranberry juice, a little lime juice, shaken strain. You can put a little lemon twist on there if you want. We got some lemon in there.

[A]

It's a classic.

[C]

Is it a classic?

[B]

It's light and refreshing.

[A]

And very refreshing. It's very cold, too.

[C]

Yeah. Tart.

[B]

I like it.

[C]

It's kind of like, you know, kind of way. I like candy and stuff like that so I can drink it. I didn't know. I don't think I've ever had Cosmopolitan.

[A]

Well, it's like, got a stigma because it's usually like, it's a pink drink and it's in a martini glass.

[C]

That's why I call it the Cosmopolitan. I can't do the short version.

[A]

You can't call it.

[B]

You can't call it Cosmo.

[C]

No, because that leans even further into the stigma. You know, the pink and the feminine. Sounds like it's a fee, you know, drink a female would order. Not like, hey, man, give me a Cosmo.

[B]

It's. It's also like a. Like you're at the pool. Like, women by the pool, they're going to order.

[A]

Cosmos are the drink from Sex and the City. So like forever it was like the drink that Carrie always ordered on Sex in the City. So it definitely has like a girl stigma.

[C]

This reminds me, y' all know Jade Gerst? Great friend and used to be the bud PR representative back in the 2000s. And so when I would go to the racetrack or do anything, Budweiser, Jade made it happen, made sure we were on time. We go to the drive thru and, you know, we all got our quirks. I love picking on Jade because he's just so fun. And does he take it well? Yes, yes. We. He. He and I had a great relationship, and I dearly appreciated it. And still today he wrote a few books. Driver Number eight and stuff like that. But we were going through the Drive Thru fast food joint, and he gets up there and I tell him what I want. He. He knows what he wants. He. He speaks in the microphone. I would like the number three combination and the number six combination. And I'm like, combination, combination.

[A]

Never heard anyone do that.

[C]

What? I was like, combo, man.

[A]

Just say it. Says combo on the thing.

[C]

Yeah, dude. He was not having it. He was going thoroughly into. Into the vocabulary, going, going with the common. I'm like, Are you. Do you say combination when no one's here? What are you doing that for?

[A]

He didn't do that just to make you laugh.

[C]

No, he was totally serious. And I was like, hold up.

[B]

I have a friend that doesn't say deli. They say deli like delicate.

[A]

Delicatessen.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

That is so extra.

[B]

Yes. It's too much.

[A]

It is too much.

[C]

Well, I get it now because I would say, cosmopolitan, please. If I were to order this.

[A]

I feel like there's a good chance you might.

[B]

Now, I was gonna say.

[A]

I'm still testing that more than I thought he would.

[C]

I'm still testing. I'm not sure I like the tardiness of it, the citrus and whatever going on there.

[A]

Tardy party.

[C]

It's a lot. I mean, it's a lot. You couldn't. You wouldn't want to stack them, but you could have one.

[A]

No. They say, you know how you two martinis is.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like race, where your limit kind of.

[C]

Like that, you know, bud light, lime and stuff like that. Like, it's all right. But I can't drink. I drink beer all day. I can't drink like a lime flavored beer all day.

[B]

Oh, I could drink a lot.

[C]

Yeah. All day.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Hmm.

[A]

He's got these pickle beers, and we talked about that. And he's one or two.

[C]

And then, man, they're so good. Donna's, I believe they're called. Yeah, they are out of this world. And. And I'll go. That's the only thing I'd go to. Well, not really, but that drives me to the liquor, to the liquor store, to the Total Wine. Like, I'm not a regular going to the Total Wine or the ABC Store, but for that. Yes, sir. So I. Fortunately, I have my High Rock vodka hand delivered, but.

[A]

Yeah, that's right. You didn't have to go anywhere.

[C]

I don't have to go get that.

[A]

But it shows up.

[C]

Yeah. So when I got to go out to get something that I know, people will be like, pickle beer. It's really literally, you know how we'll drink picklebacks. Pickle juice to kind of like get the new. You know, get your electrolytes back. People, people. Some people think that helps. Some people don't. I do. I drink it. Got salt in and all the things. If I'm hungover, little swig or two of pickle juice. And this is like kind of getting your pickle juice while you're drinking.

[A]

So it justifies. So that's a good hangover drink is.

[C]

What you're saying it literally is like, pickle juice and beer. And it sounds probably bad, but I'm telling you, if you're. If you're any kind of a pickle person or if you're decent, you know, if you're. You don't mind pickles, I would try it.

[A]

Donna's is gonna run out as soon as we're done.

[B]

I would give it a try. You know what?

[C]

If it was the guy's name, I wouldn't like it as much. I kind of like it that it's Donna.

[A]

What is that? He doesn't want Travis putting his cocktail together.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because that's a weird thing. He doesn't like that.

[C]

I feel it.

[A]

But he does. He does like a named cocktail that's named after a woman. That doesn't make any sense.

[C]

It's a beer, but it's Donna's.

[A]

What if it was Burt's Pickle Beer?

[C]

I wouldn't like it as much, but I'd probably still drink it. But I'm like, damn, Donna, you got something going on here. This is good.

[A]

Damn, Donna.

[C]

But I wouldn't go to Burton, go, hey, Bert. Badass.

[B]

Don't you have a drink named after you?

[A]

The Dale? Yeah.

[C]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

It's delicious.

[C]

It is. It's very.

[B]

It'd be better if it was. If it was the Amy.

[A]

I'd be better if it was the Amy. Yeah.

[C]

Nobody would mind. I'm not. You know, they have to call it.

[A]

That Amy way me or something stupid.

[C]

They interested in naming it the Dale? Yeah. I always was uncomfortable with that.

[A]

I was in on that name. I think it's great.

[C]

It's great. It's like walking around with your name on your belt. I never was one of those kind of people. I wouldn't even have my name on my uniform. Like, people put it on their name. Their name on their belt of their racing uniform.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, or on the. I don't. I didn't want my name. I didn't even love the. The addresses on the back. You know, the. At Twitter and Adele junior.coms and all that. I. I didn't like having. I didn't like wearing merch with my name on it anywhere. Like a hat. So they'd make hats, Right. And they'd have a little Dell Jr. On the side. Well, I would get mine without that. But, you know, the same hat fan could buy to have that on there.

[A]

But, like, I know who I am. I don't need to have anything kind of thing.

[B]

Yeah, it's understandable.

[C]

Yeah, but. Yeah. Anyhow, we got a lot of things that have happened. Obviously, we haven't done the show in. In a too often. During the off season, we did a couple. But like I said earlier, Amy's been on vacation. Amy went on vacation for a good chunk of time.

[A]

I did. I went on a girls trip for the first time in a really long time. 10 years. We went to celebrate one of my girlfriend's 50th birthdays. The last time we all went on a girls group trip was 10 years ago for her 40th.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

So is that hard to believe? Well, all of us have little kids, and, like, we just went through this period of time. Like, we would take small weekend trips here and there, but not the entire group. So it was a lot of fun. I have a girls group that's like, we ride at dawn if somebody's in trouble. So, like, we are stuck together like sisters and cousins. Like, good and bad just depends on what's going on. But, like, we are.

[C]

We've been together a long time.

[A]

Very good girlfriends. So very grateful to have my girlfriends. But we had a great trip. Went to Turks and Caicos and found about 20 conch shells. We were snorkeling every day on a conch hunt.

[B]

What are you, 12?

[A]

I'm sorry, you're hunting for conch shells? Conch shells. They're beautiful, those big, giant conch shells. So, like, if we go on a trip to the Bahamas or something, the girls want us to bring back something she brought back, but they don't need any trinkets or anything. I don't like clutter. Like, we're trying to get rid of that kind of stuff in the house. So we would try to find conch shells or something pretty we could take to the beach house and, like, set in the yard, whatever that makes sense. And so Christy, one of Dale's cousins, and I are great friends, and she, too, has two kids that appreciate a conch shell. So we were on a conch hunt the entire time we were there. And then we went out on a boat twice. The second day we were there, we found, like, the mother load, and we're in, like, two to three feet of water. Not that much. So but we're snorkeling all over the place, and she comes up and at one point, she's got three of them laid out on her arm like she's been doing it her entire life. So we had an entire table full of conch shells to bring home. I didn't eat them. We ate One on the boat, he made some ceviche. But after the last one, I pulled up, he looked at me with his little eyeballs. I was like, oh, hey, buddy. And I couldn't do it after that. I couldn't order conch at the restaurants. Couldn't do it after that. What? He looked like a little cartoon. Like, I saw little antenna eyeballs. I've never had conch ruined it for me. But it was fun finding them. There's so many. But girls trips are going to happen more often. Dad stayed with the girls.

[C]

I messed up.

[A]

He had a great time. I messed up.

[C]

Did a good job.

[A]

He did a really good job. We've reached the next level of the game now. He's level.

[B]

I'm out. He had the download that week that you were gone. And on Tuesday, he's telling us it's just me and the girls. Amy's way, like, this is easy. And we're like, it's Tuesday morning, Dale. And he's already celebrating his victory.

[A]

He's 48 hours in, Bud.

[C]

We were not gonna talk about that.

[A]

He texts me after he picked them up from school that day and he's like, this is great and I'm having a good time, but daddy's really tired. I think he took a nap because he had some assistance. April came in on Tuesday afternoon and I think he actually took a nap that afternoon. But yeah, it was great. They had a good time. I left and it got freezing, so they had to stay inside. But there was a lot of activities happening and I think that kept them busy. But I also left with Nicole in a full on crazy attitude. Like she's been like on one for months. And I come back and it's gone. So I don't know what happened. Kind of a magic voodoo happened when I was gone. But the kid is. She's found her manners again. So that's another reason I feel like I should leave more often.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, Dad's authority did something great to that child.

[B]

So now do you. When you go on vacation, are you able to separate? Are you, like, having that, like, mom guilt? You miss them and like, wanting to stay in touch?

[A]

I. I could separate, no problem. They want to FaceTime me. So it's like, okay, now's a good time. I haven't started into the margaritas yet. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Don't try to call me at dinner time. We've been at it all day, you.

[C]

Know, Amy, this is so funny. So when I. If I leave, I. We don't have a conversation about this. So really, none of us. We don't, like, have a plan.

[A]

It's not a plan.

[C]

There's no rules or whatever. But when I go out of town, I feel this obligation to be like, I'm. I'm good. We're. We're fine. We're okay. We're doing this. We're here. We're here, and we're planning to do X, Y, and Z, and. And that's it. And Amy doesn't really care. I mean, Amy's not caring about this as much as I think. But when Amy goes out of town, then she just, like, you might hear from her around breakfast or right after breakfast, before lunch, and nothing for the.

[A]

Rest of the day.

[C]

The rest of the day. And you'll get up in the morning, be like, hey, y' all still good? I'll even text the other folks in the. On the trip. Hey, man, y' all all right?

[A]

Amy's not answering her phone, and she'll. She lose it. Is she alive? Did she throw her back out again?

[C]

I know she okay. Especially on this trip because she left with her back a little.

[A]

I slept on the ice pack the whole night before because it tried to go out on me the night before I was leaving, I was like, oh, no.

[C]

Yeah. When that happens, Amy's down flat out on the couch, can't move, can't do anything, and totally uncomfortable. And I thought that's. Maybe it could have happened.

[B]

I don't know.

[C]

It just. Hadn't heard. Heard from her in a while, but. Yeah, she'll. She'll go 12 hours.

[A]

We've talked about this. I'm losing my phone.

[B]

Well, that's.

[A]

I think I tried very hard to make sure that I was responsible. And I left my phone in my room.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

So that I didn't lose the damn thing.

[C]

That's fine.

[A]

Losing it in the ocean is not as easy as finding in the middle of a Vegas casino. You know what I'm saying? Can't search for it there.

[C]

You've taken two trips in 10 years. Like, we don't have, like, a. A. We don't have. Once it gets, like, understood and comfortable and. Yep. Amy's. Yeah. Cuz my buddies, they got some of their wives and they're better at.

[A]

They're better at communication.

[C]

Some of their wives are on the trip too. Some of them weren't. You know, some they were like, hey, man, y' all heard from the girls. You know, it'd be me one day texting the guys. Y' all heard from the girls. Then it'd be the other guy the next day. Have y' all heard from the girls? You know, because it'd be a different mom, you know, ghosting us that every other day.

[B]

I feel like no news is good news.

[A]

There was no effort in ghosting. It was just like we were in the moment, relaxed in the water. We were concerting. We were not worried about our phones.

[B]

Yeah, if you're not hearing from him, that's a good thing.

[A]

I think so too. And honestly, when I'm not hearing from him, I feel the same way. Like, if you don't need to check in, if you don't need answers to questions, then you're good. But I also left a very detailed to do. Here's everybody's contact information. Here's this is that. And the other. He addresses like he had no question. He should have had no questions.

[C]

No questions.

[A]

Yeah. We checked in and he had a guy's group, like a support group. So some of the other gentlemen, two.

[C]

Other guys, wives were on the trip.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And so immediately we all got together on a group text and we're like, hey, man, we're up and at em this morning, kids. Teeth are brushed. We're going to be out of the have the house on time. Oh, drop off went good. Yalls. Drop off go good.

[A]

No, first. The first morning, one of the other ones didn't like, the kid would.

[C]

So like, we were consistently like walking each other through.

[A]

It was a support group.

[C]

First couple of days, man.

[A]

Single dads.

[C]

Oh, yeah. We. We had a great week and I. That was the first time I'd really been left to take care of the kids for sustained period of time and it was a success. And now Amy's comfortable to go on more trips.

[A]

To be fair though, more trips for.

[C]

Amy means more trips for me because, like, it's a one for one. When she goes, I go. That's the way it works.

[A]

Tit for tat, eh?

[B]

He just said that out loud.

[A]

He sure did.

[C]

Is that not right?

[B]

I mean, I wouldn't have.

[A]

Why are you asking, Travis?

[B]

I wouldn't have. I would have been like two for Amy, one for me.

[C]

I was going on my trip at this point.

[A]

I've got backlog to get caught up.

[B]

There's interest.

[C]

She needs to be paid retroactively. Damn right, Amy. I had planned a trip to go away when Amy came back, but I left. I left like in transition.

[A]

Like, I left that. We didn't even high five. He left before I got home.

[C]

I was gone before she got back.

[A]

To the house, I had a forced re entry with no support. I got home and I was like, dang.

[C]

After all those days of raising hell, I. I went to the beach and sat at a bar and drank beer for a couple days.

[A]

He was more hungover after his two day trip than I was after my four day trip. That helps.

[C]

Don't mess around, man.

[B]

I got one fastball.

[A]

We day drink and we sleep all night. It was glorious.

[C]

But yeah, I day drink and then I night drink.

[B]

Do you have a trip planned already? Cause that's what you should do is while you guys stroll on that high, let's lock this trip in now because the girls are gonna get busy and forget.

[A]

So lock it in. So what we decided is we're all going. We have. It's all my fantasy football league girls too. So we're gonna meet for our crowning brunch on the 31st. And it was supposed to be Sunday, but with the snow and everything, we're gonna push it back. We are gonna do this hat game where everybody puts in a destination they want to go to. And nothing lame. Like if you put in Asheville, you're. You don't get to go on the trip. You know what I mean?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

It has to be something cool. And then we're going to pull the names out. We're not going here. We're not going here till we get to the last one and that's where we're going to go. And we're going to play in the next one.

[C]

Damn love that. I'm just going to take the guys to the beach. We're going to drink.

[A]

And listen to whatever pop punk Dale puts on the radio.

[C]

Can't control the radio. At the beat at the, at the bars down there and whatever else.

[B]

Amy puts on the touch tunes.

[C]

But I like the day drink and then try to night drink.

[A]

And then I doordash breakfast. So whoever's awake first gets the breakfast off the board.

[C]

Amy doordashed us breakfast.

[A]

If I didn't, they wouldn't have any food. He wouldn't let me deliver groceries. Like when he first got there, I was like, please make sure there's at least water, some sodas, whatever, to drink the essentials. And so they had those things and TP and they were pickle beer. That's it. Pickle beer. And so I was door dashing breakfast every morning.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[C]

Great brands, great prices. That's why you rack. Well, we are expecting a big storm and so have y'. All. Y', all, obviously, I mean, you can't not follow what's been going on over the last three or four days. They were predicting this insane, you know, foot of snow, 6 inches of snow in Charlotte, getting everybody all riled up. I fell for it. And I feel like it's still a.

[A]

Good, a good thing to get riled up over.

[C]

Woke up the next woke up a day later and they're like, well, it's move the target for the snow has moved north a thousand miles, which is not good for us because now we're in this situation where we're going to get a ton of ice and that tears up the trees and the power lines and all that stuff. And so we're not sure what we're going to experience over the next couple of days.

[A]

But I'm still hoping for snow. I just want to go outside and play.

[C]

I think everybody prefers snow over the ice.

[B]

Have you done any extra shopping, Amy?

[A]

I've been going to do extra shopping every single day. Picking up snacks. As I'm picking up the snacks, they're eating them. So, like, by the time we actually get to the snowstorm, the snacks are going to be dwindled. We're fine down.

[C]

We are fine. So two things. If you have like a outdoor plumbing of like a sink or anything, anything that's outside the walls your house, get you one of them light clamps and heat light, heat clamp lights and plug that dude in. I. I got. I did that this morning. We got a little sink outside and I put a little light down there. Yeah. Downstairs in the kitchen, pool, kitchen, there's a sink. And so you put a little clamp and a heat lamp, and it's on a temperature sensor, so when it gets to a certain degrees, it turns the light on. So it ain't on all the time, which is fine if you want to leave it on all the time. But the other thing too is drip your faucets. So, like, get a faucet, get it dripping and just leave it. Go into your house, anywhere and turn on the faucet that you don't use because you'll turn. You know, if you use it, you're Going to turn it off. You'll use it. Wash your hands, whatever you're doing, then turn it off. Forget to leave it to drip. Go find a faucet or something that you're not going to use and turn it to a very, very slight drip and leave it. And I like to put some paper towels down in the bottom because it splashes the water everywhere. You know, after it drips for a while, it just sprinkles water all over the top of the sink. And so the napkin.

[A]

I feel like this is a PBS special.

[C]

I'm just helping people out there. We need to be helpful. They turn, they tune in to laugh, but they also need some assistance.

[A]

All right. And some good stock up on snacks, booze, candles, fire clickers, wet wipes. I'm worried about not being able to flush the toilets. The power goes out. We get one flush and we don't have a generator plug at our house.

[C]

We don't. We can't generate our house.

[A]

Nothing.

[C]

But we.

[A]

Nothing will work.

[C]

I have a generator. It'll run the camper. So we got our camper from Camping World and that's like a last resort. So if we need to get a cooler and save some of our groceries, we'll run them down to the camper and.

[A]

I mean, you just said the groceries on the porch.

[B]

Yeah, I was gonna say you don't need.

[C]

Yeah, look, whatever. I'm just. Great idea. My point is we're not gonna be in trouble.

[A]

We've set grandpa off.

[C]

I'm just saying. I got it.

[B]

What are you gonna do for food?

[C]

We have frozen steaks and ground.

[A]

We have a gas station. So even if it doesn't ignite, we have the clicker. We could just turn the gas on.

[C]

Yeah, I've got a generator that'll run any. We got appliances and electrical cookers and grills and all that stuff downstairs. Fire. We got a little. That little sheep.

[A]

We've got some camping flatiron grill.

[C]

We got a little cheap flat iron electric grill. We'll just heat off of that. It's fine. I'd appreciate the challenge.

[B]

You know, it doesn't make sense, the people that stock up on toilet paper.

[A]

Exactly. Bread, milk and toilet paper. Where are you going to put all that?

[C]

Well, let me ask you, are you going to more. No, no, no, no. Let me ask you a question.

[A]

So I guess they're worried they're not going to have be able to get out for breakfast.

[C]

That's the thing. So I weren't. I wondered about that too because during COVID that was. That was. Toilet paper was the thing before COVID when we'd have storms or anything like that. It was always milk and bread, you know, milk and bread. Milk and bread. And then all of a sudden, Covid came and it was like, toilet paper, Toilet paper, toilet paper. Like, all of a sudden, toilet paper shot to the top and.

[A]

Well, a big, giant thing of toilet paper right now is like, almost $30.

[C]

But, like, to your point, like, why. I think people truly believe that they might be in such a situation to where they cannot go get toilet paper, and that would be. The worst thing that could happen is running out of toilet paper. That's in that. I'm assuming that's what's in their mind. I mean, like, running out of toilet paper would be pretty tragic. None of us have experienced it. I mean, we have in some small scenarios where you're in the bathroom and.

[A]

You'Re like, somebody used the last cabinets too far away.

[C]

I've done my duty here. Somebody has. I didn't even look in the rolls. Empty.

[B]

You gotta do the waddle over.

[C]

You gotta get.

[A]

Now we're waddling.

[C]

Yeah, that's the worst. And our. I'll tell you who. If we have an empty row on the toilet paper roll, it's. It's Nicole.

[A]

100.

[C]

100 Nicole.

[A]

Yeah. She'll throw the roll in the trash can, though. She does. She does do that, but she doesn't. She can't open the cabinet. It, like, folds down and there's.

[C]

Well, I go into some. I've got that one bathroom over in the computer room. I'll go in there and the toilet paper will be rolled off into the floor.

[A]

Isla does that too.

[C]

I'm like, y'. All.

[A]

They just play with it like cats, you know, they sit there and just watch it, do whatever it is that gets funny. Do you have any storm essentials?

[B]

Well, I'm in an apartment, so it's like.

[C]

Got all them people to support you?

[B]

No, but I don't have. I haven't got all these people around.

[C]

You to save your ass. When something. When you're. When you're. When you're low on toilet paper, it's.

[A]

Like you go to one person's house and use it up, and then you go to the next person and everybody's together.

[B]

I might just go stay at a friend's this weekend. Like, I don't like. Or I might just hanging out.

[C]

You're really gonna make that?

[B]

Well, so, like, I'd be if I knew that power's not Gonna go out. I'm good. But the second power goes out when you're living alone, you're gonna go nuts.

[A]

Yeah, well, plus you don't have any WI fi too. And out where we live, the phones don't work that well.

[B]

So now I'm just.

[C]

Well, we've got a WI fi, Internet. We got the Elon Internet. So I'll just fire that thing up.

[A]

I forget about that thing too, because it's on the camper.

[C]

But.

[B]

Yeah, I haven't bought anything yet. But I mean, you don't.

[C]

It's not.

[B]

You don't need a ton of food.

[A]

No.

[B]

And then beer and you're good.

[A]

Yeah, it should be fine.

[C]

It's good. It's. The only thing I'm curious about is I've got work to do Monday and next weekend. Is it going to be icy and not going to be able to. We're gonna have to, you know, cancel some responsibilities.

[A]

Yeah, I'm pretty sure you're gonna. You need to look into that. The girl. The kids aren't gonna have school. If it rains too hard, they cancel school.

[B]

But I. I feel like it's. I don't know, I always feel like when they. People freak out, you don't get really what you're supposed to get.

[A]

The buildup is just not that big of a deal. Yeah, it's usually what it work. How it works. I have a funny story about Nicole since we're talking about family stuff and kids. It was before I left for my trip. I picked her up from school and you know how kids are like, you can't just say how was your day? And then they'll just tell you how their day was. You have to ask them like in a riddle style questions like, do you think fun happened today? Did anything funny happened today? Anybody get in trouble in class today? So I was like, hey, Nicole, how was school? Did you have a good day? Was it fun today at school? And she's like, no, but something bad happened. I'm like, she's in preschool. What kind of bad could happen at preschool? But there's nothing but chicks in her class too. There's no boys but my mom. Flag goes up. I'm like, something bad happened. Are you okay? Did every. Are you like, what happened? That's bad? And she's like, I don't want to talk about it. And I was like, oh, Lord. And at this point, she sits behind me in the car, so I tilt my mirror down so I could see her face. And I'm like, what do you mean something bad happened? Is it something I should call your teacher about? And she goes, no, like, what a preposterous thing that you would want to do that. And I'm like, well, then what happened? She goes, kindness, mom. Everybody was so kind today. And I was bored. I'm like, oh my God. That's what she's bothered by is, you know, just everybody being nice at school like they're supposed to. So that's. That's what I left in a nutshell.

[C]

I was picking her up from school when Amy was going on her trip and which I don't ever pick her up. Amy picks Amy, does Nicole's school pickups and drop offs. I do Isla's. So I don't really ever get to really go get Nicole. So I'm standing by the door, the teacher sees me, goes inside, gets her, brings her to the doorway, and there's a couple of the moms and their kids kind of connecting and gathering in the hall. And this little girl looked at Nicole and said, bye, Nicole. And Nicole goes, bye. Because Nicole was in a great mood because I was picking her up. Daddy, Daddy, Daddy. And that girl looked at her mom, goes, mom, Nicole was nice to me. Said it just like that.

[A]

I mean, is she the class bully? I've heard nothing bad from the teachers. Like, I'm a little concerned.

[C]

I was like, color you not always nice on sale. This is like a. Like a big surprise when you're nice.

[A]

I know, good.

[C]

But we're not getting notes or calls or any kind of communication from her teachers that, you know, she's anything but a normal, easy going student.

[A]

I feel like they're all scrappy or something's going on in that class.

[B]

If, if the teacher isn't saying something to you, then I don't think, I.

[C]

Think you're nothing to worry about.

[B]

Overthinking, maybe that she's just more matter of fact. And some kids are just.

[A]

Yeah, maybe it's a mystery.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think you're good.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm not worried about it.

[A]

I'm not calling the teacher to find out.

[C]

I'm not worried.

[B]

No, no, no. You never call.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. It's alarming. It's a little alarming when you have kids. Like you are over sensitive to all those things. You're like, oh my God, am I raising a good person? It's always at the top of mind.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And in those moments you're like, oh, God, where do we go? Where do we go wrong?

[C]

That's the thing with Isla. It you know, she turned out. She's turned out awesome. And with Nicole, I don't think we did anything wrong. It's just who she is. She is like full.

[A]

Full throttle full.

[C]

She's got her own personality. And like, we didn't. Like, whatever's different in there is nothing we did. Just came. Came like the case.

[A]

She came like that. That's what. That's stock coal is.

[C]

Hey, man. Did you. Did you my. Did you do those modifications to that truck? No. Bought it like this? Yep. Came like that.

[A]

Yep. That flare was in there already.

[C]

That's how it came.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I love it. I do. And when I get a little free time at home, a lot of times I tend to pick up a project that's electrical in nature or he'll find.

[A]

Something that he can take apart and put back together. So the room where the server is, though, is poured concrete. It's like almost like a safe room. So there's no service down there even if he takes his phone for whatever he's doing.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

There's no getting a hold of Ralph if he's downstairs messing with the computers.

[C]

But I took all. I bought new towers that are 4 foot tall. Because all of the year, over the years, over through burning up, getting hit by lightning, getting rid of stuff that I don't need anymore, you know, you don't DVD players and stuff like that. Yeah. And so I. To where I tore all of the components out of the tower and reinstalled what I wanted in a short tower and I did that up. I've got towers on every floor and I did this to two towers. And boy, that's like a two day process. That's like a two day job. But it's so much fun. Like, if I didn't make it in racing, I'd probably be in it.

[B]

I'll take your word for it because that sounds boring.

[C]

I freaking love it.

[A]

He starts talking about it and I glaze over. I'm like, I know.

[C]

It's probably what just happened with our listeners.

[A]

Yeah, we lost everybody.

[C]

I will take the light back. I'll take the light switches apart and fix them.

[A]

Everybody right now is filling up the toilet paper on the. On the handles or whatever you call it.

[C]

Checking their toilet paper.

[A]

Everybody's checking their toilet paper. Checking the water, making sure they're dripping faucets.

[B]

Hey, if that's a hobby for you, it's a hobby for you.

[C]

It's a hobby for me.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You can come home and there. There will be wire strung all the way through the house. He's re. Literally rewiring things. Like, God, dude, I know you can fix this, but why?

[B]

I mean, I kind of wish I had those. I just don't have the skills and don't care.

[C]

I can't stand something being in a. I can't stand a component like being in one of those towers that's not being used or not plug in or, you know, and I. And the extra wires that go to it, they can all go away. Everything get cleaner, simpler. I get. He gets twitchy ocd.

[A]

Yeah, he gets twitchy. He opens the closet and he's like.

[C]

What do you call that?

[A]

Gotta fix that.

[C]

Yeah, Like I got to fix it. It's driving me crazy.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. Well, we're just wanted to share that.

[A]

Thanks for that story, Ralph.

[C]

That's what I'm doing these days. I just wanted to say that I was late today. We were going to do this show earlier, an hour earlier, but I had a crown come off last night while I was eating dinner. And I went to the dentist this morning. I. Mike, we've talked about this on our Dale Jr. Download. How great my dentist is texting right when it happened, he said, come in 8 o' clock in the morning. I was there. Amy had to take both kids at school this morning. And he glued the crown right back in. No problem.

[B]

I've got a temporary next Wednesday I get the permanent one put in on.

[C]

This crown was done six years ago. And I was like. I was like, is it unusual for them to come out? And she's like, oh, yeah. She's like, around five, six years, glue starts to get.

[A]

Well, he's eating his dinner and he chews very hard. Like you could hear him chewing from across the room. Well, I am sensitive to that. I'm like one of those people, but I look over, I'm like, he's in the middle of eating and he's not stopped eating. He's gonna finish eating his dinner. It's not like it alarmed him enough where he stopped eating. It popped out and he put it on the table and then it kept eating his dinner.

[C]

Put it in the Ziploc.

[B]

Didn't your mouth hurt?

[C]

No.

[A]

Well, I asked him, like, how much.

[C]

Candy have you eaten? My tooth is fine.

[A]

He's like, how much candy have I been eating? What does that have to do with anything? I know, like, because you used to tell me if I eat certain types of candy, it'll pull my crowns off my teeth. And so, you know, considering how much time he's been spending downstairs on this it work. I thought maybe he's been munching on fireballs or who knows what else down there.

[B]

It was Nerds. Nerd Ropes.

[A]

Ropes. Yeah.

[C]

So we did get. So when I was with the boys Friday night, we did, we were sitting at pose drinking beer at the bar and. And one of the boys ran down to the gas station to get some scratch offs and I did get him to get some Nerds Clusters. So we did have a few nerds clusters about 10 o' clock at night.

[A]

I have some in my bag.

[C]

Yeah, I've. I had some, I have some at the house and I threw them away this morning.

[A]

For the best.

[C]

It is for the best, but a lot of people will be. So I, I am very adamant with our girls about brushing their teeth. And so I, I didn't do as good a job over the years when I was younger about taking, taking better care of my teeth. And so I have a few crowns and dad had a ton of crowns.

[B]

That's what you told me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

When I told Dale I cracked my tooth on New Year's Day and he goes, well, don't worry, dale Earnhardt had 11 crowns. So you can still be great.

[A]

Yeah, I was like, still achieve greatness.

[C]

You can still achieve greatness because Alhart had 11 crowns. 11.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[B]

Yeah, it's the flossing that I forget to do sometimes. And I think that's actually where you have.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

The bigger issues. It's not the brush.

[C]

It's great.

[A]

It's an internal thing.

[C]

No, no, I gotta, I gotta fix for the flossing. Like me, I've too struggled with being a flosser, regular flosser. And so I, I get cleanings every four months instead of six. And so because as I've gotten older, I've realized I need to do a better job. And so I go to the dentist more often. But. And they'll always ask you, you have floss? I'm like, no, no.

[B]

But.

[A]

But I did eat some beef jerky today.

[C]

That's it. If you are a regular customer of Jerky Boys Beef jerky, I promise when you go to the dentist the next time for your cleaning, you will proudly tell them, I am a regular flosser.

[A]

Buy this beef jerky and get a good dental portion of floss.

[C]

Not only are you eating something very delicious and good for you, lean, low on calories, but you're also now a regular flosser. Exactly what your dentist wants you to be.

[A]

That's hilarious.

[C]

Your gums will be healthier and happier. Just saying, that's what's happened to me. That's what's happened to me.

[B]

So he's going to tell the girls this, and now they're going to be asking for beef jerky now.

[A]

Oh, he pushes it on.

[C]

Yeah, I do. I'm like, y'. All.

[A]

He brings that bag to the couch. He's like, hey. He stands in front of everybody passing it out. Like, yeah, the grandma.

[C]

Anyway, I'm like, they're always like, we want. Always wanting snacks. Yeah, we sitting down. We sat down the other night to eat dinner, and Nicole had some rice and. Or no, some Mac and cheese and chicken. I cut it for her, and she's like, awesome. She's eating a little bit, and then she stops and she's like, I'm done. I was like, eat one more piece of chicken. She's like, I don't want it because it has that. And she points to a little charred mark.

[A]

She doesn't like grill marks.

[C]

She didn't know what that is and don't want it on there. So I cut the char mark off and here. Okay. And so I throw it away. And she goes and sits on the couch and goes, I want some pretzels. I'm like, no. She's like, I want a stack. I'm like, we just were eating dinner and you just said you were done. And they made me throw it away. And now. No, no, you're not doing it. Like, you don't. They can't. They can't, like, get.

[A]

She's just at the age group where snacks are life.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's just what it is.

[B]

Every.

[C]

Every five minutes, that kid wants a snack. And you gotta be watching. Cause she goes to the cupboard. She'll be in there.

[A]

She'll monkey climb all the way up to the top and get whatever. You can't hide anything from her. I've said this before. She's like living with a raccoon. She's quiet and able, and she will get into anything and she'll leave a trail of things. She'll close the door to the pantry and sit in there and eat the snacks and then put the snack packages back into the snack box. Walked in there the other day to organize all the gummy snacks and those fruit strips that I buy. Half the damn box was empty. Empty wrappers. She just gets one and slips it right back in there. Yeah.

[B]

You need to put a lock on the door. A little keypad that.

[C]

I can't do that.

[A]

That would be too much that'd be too. We would forget the code.

[C]

That. And it's like that's what they did to me. I stole that money from daddy's change jar. And they put locks on every door and scarring. Made me feel like an outcast.

[A]

Still traumatized from.

[C]

Made me feel like an outcast.

[A]

Oh my gosh.

[B]

You didn't do it again though.

[C]

Yeah. Did we tell that story where I stole all the money out of dad's change yard to buy the Game Boy? And he's like, how'd you get. I'm over there playing it on the couch.

[B]

And he's like, yes, we have.

[A]

He's nonchalantly just playing this new game system that of course it never crossed.

[C]

My mind that they would go, how'd you get that?

[A]

The money to buy that?

[C]

Yeah. Where's that? It's 80 bucks. Where'd you get that? But that's what happened.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I'm over there. I'm over there like.

[A]

And the local pawn shop and the pawn guy called his friend Game Boy K. I got one of your business cards.

[B]

I wonder where Nicole gets this from.

[C]

Right?

[A]

She looks like me and acts like him. Really? We're in trouble. She's like this mighty little force.

[C]

Yeah. She. Her getting the gummy bear packages and put on them back in the box is absolutely me.

[A]

And she would. She'd lie straight to your face if you ask her who did it. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Well, that's full circle.

[C]

I love when they eat the jerky because I, you know, I just feel like that when they're wanting snacks. It's typically gummy bears.

[A]

Yeah. Sugar.

[C]

It's all sugar. Cinnamon sugar, pretzels, all sugar. The. What's the chocolate?

[A]

Nutella.

[C]

Nutella. That. Where the hell that come. I. I've never had Nutella until I met. Until like probably about five, six, ten years ago. Steve Lar's eating it and I'm like.

[A]

What is that where this come from? He smella and marshmallow fluff sandwiches. Which.

[C]

Where did this come from?

[A]

They make these little snack packs with Nutella on one side.

[C]

Nutella around decades ago.

[A]

Yes, it was.

[C]

Was.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Why wasn't it a thing?

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

No one ever talked about it.

[A]

Well, it was European. It's a European based company. So maybe it wasn't like such a thing here.

[B]

I've always wondered like brioche buns, were they a thing when I was younger and my family just couldn't afford it or didn't want it or like, when did brioche buns become the rage. They're everywhere now.

[A]

I don't know, like bakery bread is far more popular. Like you got wonder bread, you got whatever loaf was around.

[C]

I like the old school wonder bread. Just the color of the package just gives me a good nostalgic nostalgia. Yeah, even it could be. I don't care what it tastes like.

[A]

Our kids are wine rolls.

[C]

Oh, those are the best.

[B]

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[B]

The first question comes from Jamie and she wants to know where do you guys keep your phone when it's on your person? Like in your pockets.

[A]

When do you keep your on your person?

[B]

Yeah, like on you.

[C]

You walk around with it in your hand 24 7.

[A]

Which is why I lose it so much. But yes, like I don't unless I have my purse on me, I'm not gonna have it like put away.

[C]

Yeah, you don't put it in your pocket, your hoodie pocket, Nothing every once in a while.

[A]

But I feel like it drags me down. It's uncomfortable. Dale always walks around with his in his back pocket.

[C]

Amy hates it.

[A]

I do hate it because it wears this one pocket out and he looks like he's got saggy bottom.

[C]

I got one when I take the phone out after a few, you know, after a while he's been wearing the.

[A]

Jeans for two or three days.

[C]

Also, I got one baggy pocket, one.

[A]

Really Worn out pocket.

[C]

Worn out, aren't you? It's like a stretched pocket and one regular pocket.

[B]

Aren't you afraid, though, that also, like, it's going to fall out or someone could.

[C]

I can't take it back there, so I don't know what's happening.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[C]

Yeah. I'm not worried because I can't see it happening.

[A]

He only does it in the house.

[C]

If he's out of sight, out of.

[A]

Mind, if he's out running around. I don't feel like you put that in your back pocket.

[C]

I wear my pair. I wear. This is a brand new pair of pants. I pulled the tags off this morning. I wear these for three days.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think anything wrong with that.

[C]

So I put my phone in my back pocket, and on day two, three, it's kind of a little bigger than the other pocket.

[A]

The right one's a little lopsided.

[C]

And she also says it makes my ass look big or something. Like, weird.

[A]

No, it looks like pancakey. You have a bubble butt. Like, it makes it look different. I'm like, what is going on over there? Quit that.

[B]

Do you ever put it in a front pocket when you're traveling?

[C]

No, I don't want to put it in my front pocket because I don't want it close to the jewels. What?

[A]

The proximity to the jewels is so much different if it's in your back pocket.

[C]

Look, I don't know what's going on with this thing and what it might be doing. They say you're not supposed to sleep close to a charging phone. And your mother had that issue.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

She had a. She carried her fold flip phone in her breath in her bra. And then, you know, she was a.

[A]

Teacher and like, so she just stick it in the shirt.

[C]

She did, you know, and she ended.

[A]

Up with breast cancer. And she's. She's pretty sure that that's what caused the tumor right there because it was close where she skipped it.

[C]

So you don't know. But I'm like, you know, I'd rather have to try whatever it's doing to me. I'd rather have to travel through the fat of my. Lay it right up next to it, the jewels. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Yes, yes, Elvis, we know what you're saying.

[C]

I'm thinking my ass is giving me a little saving. My ass is saving me.

[A]

We're keep that ass fat, and we're going to keep the jewels safe. That's what we're going to work on.

[C]

I mean, that's the way my brain works.

[B]

They didn't say, like, don't put a laptop.

[C]

It's my science.

[A]

He doesn't. He does not carry a laptop and put it on his lap.

[B]

Yeah. Like, they're saying, like, if you're using a laptop, it shouldn't be on your lap.

[C]

Right.

[A]

Because of the jewels.

[B]

Yeah, the jewels.

[C]

I lay in bed.

[A]

If your jewels are as precious as Dale's, you'd better not put it on your lap.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Now he's red. We did it. We turn it red.

[C]

I. Yeah, I'll. If you're laying in the bed. I lay in the bed and do an iPad, and. And I get. You know, I'm. I'm, like, laying that across your chest. You know, I'm like, I don't know. We don't know. Right. All these tablets and all this stuff, this is like.

[A]

This is like the radiation from.

[C]

Yeah, you're Two decades of technology here that we don't have real information on. On what it's truly doing around us. I don't know. I'm not. I'm not a conspiracy theorist on that kind of stuff, but I don't want. If I'm. If I'm unknowingly, like, doing some damage to myself, I don't want to learn that down the road. So I'd rather. In my scientific mind, I'm putting it in my back pocket. That's safer than carrying in my front it.

[A]

Bill Nye over here says I'll sleep next to it with it next to my head, but I ain't gonna put it in my front pocket.

[B]

Yeah. Where do you sleep with.

[C]

I don't sleep. I don't plug it in.

[A]

Around, but it don't matter.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

It's up on a headboard. But, yeah. Look, I'm not. I'm. I agree that there's holes, and so.

[B]

That explains why there's issues up here.

[C]

There's a lot of holes and flaws in my. In the way my. My. My mind works. But I'll say this, too. Like, I don't carry it around in my pocket as much anymore. Like, intentionally. Like, I. Like. Like right now, like, I don't want in my front pocket when I can set it over here. Right.

[B]

That makes sense.

[C]

And it's uncomfortable. They're too freaking big. Like, we had. We had to keep making them bigger and bigger and bigger. And of course, I'm gonna get the bigger one because it gets. You know, the new one's bigger. Got it. Well, they make them a little bigger, like a little bit bigger. And I'm gonna go buy it. I wish they'd never done that because.

[A]

They used to be playing into your masculinity.

[C]

I know. And they used to. Well, I had the small phone, the small version of the new phone. And I've got all my old ones. I got my threes, my S3s. Well, I got every iPhone that we've ever bought. I still have it. And the original ones were so small and easy, like a toy. Convenient. I'm walking into the stadium at Kansas City for a Chiefs game. Thursday night game, or maybe it's a Monday night game. Either way, I'm doing this for NBC. Me, latart, all of us, Jeff Burton and Rick Allen, and we're, we're going in there with NBC to do like a little pregame sideline deal. And we're with one of our big NBC bosses. He's, he's the head guy over sports. He's got his big max iPhone out and I've got my little one out. And he goes, he goes, man, you, you know, in the line of work you're in, you ought to have the big phone, everything on, you know, everything's video.

[A]

Big dog. David made him feel silly with his little.

[B]

Mine's bigger.

[C]

He goes in a lot of work with video and work, you know, broadcasting everything. Yeah, we're gonna watch a lot of stuff on this thing. You ought to have the bigger screen. I was like, I captain, you got it. And now, you know, you barely can carry it on you. You barely can carry it.

[A]

Yeah, I almost just. I mean, you almost need a purse.

[C]

You almost need a, A dolly. Maybe behind you carried.

[A]

It's Ollie.

[C]

Yeah. You could put a little trailer hitch.

[A]

On your belt and out of control.

[C]

Okay, sorry. It is.

[A]

Do we have another question?

[C]

We even have people watching this next.

[B]

Question is if you could choose one of the girls movies to never see again, what movie would that be?

[C]

I ain't saying. I. I had one little comment about Bluey and. And got drug on the. On all by all the Bluey fans out there because I want a little comment critique, but really? Yeah, I don't want to even relive this, so.

[A]

Don't even want to.

[C]

Great. Love, Bluey.

[A]

Oh, Lord, what have we been watching so much lately? They've been watching this emoji movie the last couple days and I had never sat through that one. And it's kind of weird.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Not terrible.

[C]

It's not bad. They got a new one with the Fox. What's the, the, they're on the heist.

[A]

I don't know.

[C]

You know, they're going, they're, they've been watching it over and over.

[A]

The zoo movie, there's a new one in the theater right now.

[C]

Right. They've been watching that one. That's pretty decent.

[A]

They're not hammering down and watching anything as religiously as they were. So it's been easier. They're like bouncing around watching different movies and different things. So nothing too bad.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

Honestly, it's actually. We're in a good phase right now.

[C]

I will say probably making a mistake here. We watched a lot of Cocomelon, Right. When we were younger and when the kids were younger we had, we were in this phase of Cocomelon.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And I thought that we would move on from Cocomelon because they sort of, you know, they sort of graduate to different things. But Nicole still loves Coca.

[A]

They just loaded it onto Netflix. So she's found it on there and wants to watch it. It's like nursery rhymes and very baby oriented. So it's a little triggering.

[C]

It is a little true.

[A]

It is a little bit. I don't let him watch the Barbie stuff on Netflix either because. Sorry, Barbie, but the, the shows are catty.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

They're like mean girl kind of stuff. And I don't want the girls talking like that.

[B]

Yeah, you don't want to learn those things.

[A]

Yeah. We're already combating enough with Nicole. Like we don't really need Barbie giving her extra ammo, you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

There is some truth to. The girls will hear things they hear, you know, the girls will repeat things that they hear in shows and so. And they'll tell us too, where they heard it. They'll say something to their sister about being stupid or, or I'm not going to be your friend anymore. And they're just role playing or having fun and. But they'll say it and we're like, where'd you hear that?

[A]

Yeah, we don't say that to you. Where'd you hear that?

[C]

Yeah, and they'll tell you the show. They'll be like, oh, it's in this show block. Yeah, no more of that.

[B]

Next question is ranked the top nights of a four night trip in order of best to worst and the night before the trip count. Sorry, you have five selections. So like five selections the night before plus night one, two, three and four rank the what?

[A]

You have a four night trip.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

You rank your nights in order of best to worst. The first the night before counts.

[C]

I think we'd both agree that the night before the trip is gonna be in the back.

[A]

Yeah. Least favorite. Usually it's a little stressful, packing and all the things, getting organized, and you're. You're like, relaxation doesn't actually start yet.

[B]

Oh, see, I'm amped up.

[A]

Yeah. When you're. When you're single, when you don't have kids and you're like, get to anticipate.

[B]

What if it's your girl?

[A]

Anticipation is more exciting.

[C]

This is piece of cake for me. Okay. I'm going to take the days of the trip. And they are. If they're. How many? Four or five. Four. Four nights. And you got to put them in order. Right. Four nights, including the night before, which is five.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Right. Night one on the trip is all. Is going to be the blowout. You can't help it. You're. You get there, you're excited. We tried over and over and over on trips, especially going down to Key West. Well, it's not going as hard on night one, but you can't help it. So first night is number one, followed by the second night, followed by the third night. The last night of the trip is the worst of all five.

[A]

Is it worse than.

[C]

It's worse than the night before the trip. The last night on the trip is sucky because. And I just experienced this with my friend Sean. It was fry. It was Saturday. We drank Thursday night, and Friday and Saturday we had one more night. We're going to get up and drive home. And I tried so hard to get him to drink a few beers, and he was like, nope, I'm tired.

[B]

I'm.

[C]

I'm good. And I'm like, man, this is. Let's just have a few more. It's. You know, we still got tonight, and we still. We're gonna give them more. We'll be fine. And so. And. And then sometimes I'm in that mood. Sometimes I'm like, man, I don't want to go home tomorrow. But I am, and I'm mad about that.

[A]

And we used to go down to Key west, and I can't get last day of vacation. Dale was an actual thing. He'd start closing up to shutters on the house, and we had all day to, like, play in the pool. We're like, dude, we're not leaving till tomorrow. We don't have to do this.

[C]

We're starting to button up the house.

[A]

And he was like, 24 hours early, silent, not talking to anybody, just pouting.

[C]

Yeah, I'm mad because we're gonna go back to the reality. I don't want to leave, and I don't. I don't. I can't party tonight because I know what's tomorrow. I know what tomorrow brings. Right. And I'm mad about that. I don't know if I'm that way as much.

[A]

No, we don't. We don't do that anymore. We don't fat anymore.

[C]

See, I just put, like, I am so excited the night before the trip. Like, I. I. I halfway ruined the first day because I didn't sleep as well. It's like, you know, it's like Christmas, you know, waiting on Christmas. Christmas Eve.

[A]

For me, day two is the best day because I finally relaxed. Like, first day on vacation is like, three or four for me. Like, I'm excited. I'm there, but, like, I'm not fully relaxed yet. I don't feel like I go as hard that day as, like, day two and three. Like, those are my fun days. And then day four, I'm just, like, I'm not pouting, but I'm not as excited. But day four, the day before, is, like, my least favorite day. Just because I want to make sure I've got everything in order and, like, it's more stressful than anything else. Yeah.

[C]

This is making me want to go on a trip.

[A]

Where are we gonna go?

[C]

I don't know. We got a trip planned coming up.

[A]

Yeah, we're going skiing for spring break.

[C]

Oh, we got another one, too.

[B]

Me and you were gonna go skiing for spring break.

[A]

Yes, we're going skiing for spring break with my sister.

[B]

Seems backwards. Like, you go skiing on a spring break.

[A]

I know. So we've. We do a lot of beach trips, and we want to teach the kids how to ski.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And, like, I feel like it's a good time to go. My sister Katie lives in Texas. Their kids are in or on spring break the same week, which is not normal for us. So, like, we're gonna meet out there, and. And the kids will all get to do it together, so.

[B]

And I guess, how often do your kids get to play in snow?

[A]

Right.

[C]

I'm not excited.

[A]

Dale's gonna operate, and we're gonna ski.

[C]

I don't feel the urge to go. I learned how to ski. I did it.

[A]

It's about the children.

[C]

I know. Well, that's. Hopefully sees privately. That was kind of my hope, is that I would just hang with the kids. I will go through the skiing school and all the things, and I'll get my skis on. I'll go out on the slopes and do it with them. But, like, I do not have the urge to get up there and go down a green or anything like that by myself. I did learn how to ski. I loved it. It was fun. I went over to South Korea and skied with Mike. Incredible. But.

[A]

Well, you should just do it with me this time because the last time we went skiing, the last two times, I was pregnant.

[C]

I'll go down with you.

[A]

It should be fun. There's tubing and all kinds of fun stuff.

[C]

That's probably what's gonna happen.

[A]

It's gonna be real chill.

[B]

I've never gone skiing, though, man.

[C]

Like, I'm too old. I'm old. You can't be just. Is he going?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Oh, cool. Well, now I feel better about it.

[A]

Yeah, he's good.

[C]

I didn't know he was going.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I thought it was just the Fentons and.

[A]

Yeah. And dad.

[C]

And dad. Okay, perfect. Her dad's awesome. If he can do it, I can do it.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Simple as that.

[C]

But I would. I'm. I don't mind. I don't. I don't mind skiing, I guess. I don't know.

[A]

It wasn't his choice. He got. He got told this is what was happening. So that's really where we are.

[B]

Where are you going to?

[A]

Winter Park, Colorado.

[B]

Okay. See, that's. Everything is like you're going to place that's like, chill. It's not gonna be like freezing cold when you're out there.

[C]

Well, we weren't gonna go skiing in the Bahamas.

[B]

No. But like, if you go to, like upstate New York or something, like, there's certain areas where it's going to be colder. Where, like, if you go out west, the snow is better and it's not as cold.

[A]

It's gonna be great. There's. It's gonna be fluffy snow. There's kids activities. Tubing, like, you go back to glow in the dark. This and that. Yeah, it'll be great.

[B]

I think you're. Have fun.

[A]

Yeah, we'll have fun.

[C]

It'll be fine. I just. I'm curious as to how getting them all readying together and everybody heading in the right direction is going to go can be mad chaos because, like, Nicole and Isla have no idea what they're in for. And the boots and the.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All the stuff and they're. They're going to get mad and. No, you can see Nicole.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Come on, we're gonna walk over here.

[A]

No, well, she doesn't like being uncomfortable. She doesn't like, let's go down being outside much.

[C]

They're gonna like. They're gonna go like two foot down the slope, the little bunny slope. They're gonna go like two foot and be like, I don't like.

[A]

They're gonna be fine. We sign them up for ski lessons. They're gonna be with an instructor with their cousin tubing. They're gonna be fine.

[C]

We'll see.

[B]

Go tubing. That'd be fun.

[A]

Yeah. Don't bring your anxiety to the trip, Dale. That has to stay at home.

[B]

What's all we got for any more questions?

[C]

Okay, that's all we got for.

[A]

Thank you guys for your questions. We're excited for another season. And if you haven't already, please hit the subscribe button. And also, don't forget to check out all of the [e-mail] thank you, and we'll see you next week.

[B]

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