Hour 1 – ESPY Errors, Messi Magic

Summary

The Dan Patrick Show: Hour 1 – ESPY Errors, Messi Magic

Date: July 16, 2026
Podcast: The Dan Patrick Show (iHeartPodcasts and Dan Patrick Podcast Network)
Episode Theme: A lively exploration of recent sports moments, centering on the ESPY Awards controversy, Argentina’s dramatic win over England in the World Cup, and Lionel Messi’s enduring soccer magic. Dan and the Danettes also riff on sporting traditions, movie hype, and the state of New York weather, blending humor, nostalgia, and sharp sports insight.

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Episode Overview

This episode finds Dan Patrick and his crew (the “Danettes”: Paulie, Todd, Marvin, Dylan) taking on several hot topics in the sports world. The opening hour covers:

• The aftermath and debate surrounding the recent ESPY Awards, particularly the surprising "Best Team" outcome,
• Argentina’s shock win over England and the larger-than-life presence of Lionel Messi in the World Cup,
• Broader musings on sporting culture, moviegoing, road rage, and award show legitimacy,
• Their trademark banter and listener call-ins, offering both light and meaningful commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Mount Rushmore Detour & Family Travels

[02:26 – 04:29]

• Dan and Paulie recount their family visits to Mount Rushmore, riffing on the majesty of the site and obscure facts about its creation.
• “It was just after three hours with four kids and everybody’s screaming and crying and then we pull up and then they go, okay, can we get back in the car?” – Dan Patrick (03:37)
• Quick trivia about its 14-year construction and overseer Gutson Borglum.

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2. ESPY Awards – Results, Surprises & Recency Bias

[04:29 – 12:41]

• Dan introduces the ESPY “Best Team” debate—why the New York Knicks (NBA champions) won over Indiana Hoosiers football (unexpected national champions), highlighting how location and recency may have influenced the vote.
• Paulie, incredulous, says:

  “This is one of the best team stories in the past 40 years. If you know the history...I still can’t believe [Indiana] won the national title.” (09:34)

• Dan notes the Knicks’ magical run and city-wide takeover, but also acknowledges Indiana’s rarity:

  “They were below average for decades...It’d be like if you said, hey, Rice football is going to win a national title. I go, not in my lifetime.” (11:01)

• Todd delivers classic pun: “The bigger schools would be steamed if Rice won.” (12:37)
• Brief, humorous arguments about whether the ESPYs get “massaged for the home team,” with speculation about musical guests and local flair.

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3. Tangents: Road Rage, Movie Hype, and Award Shows

[12:41 – 19:00]

• Todd vents about getting stuck in traffic due to an accident, sparking jokes about construction delays and the Van Wyck Expressway:

  “What are they doing? How is it taking this long?” – Todd (14:34)

• Transition to poll question ideas, including “What’s the best awards show?”
• Dan shares his quest to see Matt Damon’s new “Odyssey” movie in a sold-out IMAX, marveling at ticket prices:

  “People are scalping tickets to go see The Odyssey.” (16:09)

• Todd, incredulous, responds:

  “How could it be important to anybody to see this movie? ... It’s just a movie.” (17:18)

• Dan sums up the difference between sports and movie events:

  “If it’s important to you, you probably do that.” (17:02)

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4. World Cup: England Crushed, Messi’s Brilliance, and Soccer Psychology

[24:01 – 29:21]

• Dan offers analysis on Argentina’s stunning comeback over England, especially Messi’s role:

  “Messi takes up so much oxygen when he’s out there. ... He’s not a flopper. He’s battle tested.” (25:24)

• Discussion of “the most dangerous lead in sports”—the 2-0 in soccer/hockey:

  “I would think 10 would be more dangerous than 2-0, but, you know, call me crazy.” – Dan (27:42)

• Banter about the emotional highs and lows for both squads and musings on soccer culture, such as whether Spanish fans might root for Messi over their own country due to his ties to FC Barcelona.

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5. Poll Questions & Sports-Watching Dilemmas

[29:57 – 33:22]

• The crew polls: If you’re a Spaniard, do you root for Messi or your country?
• Upcoming Sunday dilemma: Watch the Open Championship final round or the World Cup final?

  “If I can squeeze both of them in, that’s a pretty good day. ... Pretty good day and I’ll be done for dinner.” – Dan (33:22)

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6. Knicks Accolades – Which is More Meaningful?

[33:52 – 35:26]

• Debating which honor is more significant: Knicks’ ESPY for Best Team or their NBA Cup (midseason tournament) win.
• Todd argues for the Cup:

  “I’d rather earn something on a court or field than hope that enough people voted for me.” (34:24)

• Dan counters:

  “Nobody’s celebrating the cup...I would say the ESPYs over the cup.” (34:38)

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7. Listener Calls

[35:47 – 44:40]

• Fans weigh in on the Indiana football vs. Knicks debate, nostalgia for NCAA third-place games, and how modern factors like NIL and transfer portal might impact future “Cinderella” teams.
• Chris from Syracuse notes:

  “With the NIL and the portal, who would ever think Indiana football would have a possibility at winning [it all]?” (41:23)

• Brief, comical sidebars about “Crappensburg State” ROTC, the Dylan-Paulie back row chemistry, and the internal debate about show graphics/credits.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On why sporting moments and plays get mythologized:

  “When I look back on great plays, historical plays, like people don’t realize or they may forget, Kirk Gibson hit a home run in Game 1 ... Bill Buckner’s error was in Game 6 ... That didn’t win a national championship …” – Dan Patrick (08:13)

• About Messi:

  “He’s got this low center of gravity ... he’s like Frank Gore running. He’s just going to keep running ... looking for daylight, and he got it.” – Dan Patrick (25:34)

• Knicks’ perceived franchise quality:

  “I don’t know if they’re a quality franchise ... but yeah, they’ve had their moments.” – Dan Patrick (12:24)

• On ESPY voting process:

  “I’ve been in these meetings behind the scenes ... but that was back when maybe it wasn’t as legitimate as it is now.” – Dan Patrick (36:50)

• Listener wisdom:

  “Somebody’s life just changed forever. You’re just in traffic.” – Marvin, quoting his grandfather to Todd (19:03)

• Award show rider requests:

  “Just because you have the power to do something or request something doesn’t mean you should do it.” – Todd (37:53)

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Important Timestamps

• Mount Rushmore/Travel Chat: 02:26 – 04:29
• ESPY Awards Frustration: 04:29 – 12:41
• Traffic/Movie Hype Tangents: 12:41 – 19:00
• World Cup, Messi Magic, 2-0 Lead: 24:01 – 29:21
• Watch Open Championship or World Cup Final?: 29:57 – 33:22
• Knicks: ESPY vs. NBA Cup: 33:52 – 35:26
• Listener Calls and Show Banter: 35:47 – 44:40

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Summary

This episode blends the sharp, insightful sports commentary Dan Patrick is known for with the show’s trademark good-natured humor, nostalgia, and occasional absurdity. Through discussions of the ESPYs, unlikely championship runs, the drama of high-stakes soccer, and what really counts as a “meaningful” trophy, the Danettes embody the blend of passion, skepticism, and fun that sustains sports radio. Listeners also get a look behind the curtain—into both awards show machinations and the Dan Patrick Show itself—making for an episode that’s as rich in character as it is in sports debate.

Transcript

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The dream of the 90s is alive in podcast form.

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Well, I thought you were all going

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Many surprises.

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[Fox Sports Radio Announcer]

You are listening to the Dan Patrick show on Fox Sports Radio.

[Dan Patrick]

Just sat outside on the bench and looked up at Mount Rushmore. Very majestic and just a long, long three hour drive where you didn't see anything but telephone poles and fields. Yes, Paulie.

[Paulie]

See, I actually liked it quite a bit. Like, you know what you're getting, you're not gonna be surprised by what presidents are up there, I don't think at this juncture. But the drive in the Black Hills, the Badlands, there's another one like not so far away. And learning about the process of the students who made it I thought was really cool.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah. Wasn't it French? Did the French do that too?

[Paulie]

Oh, checking the architect guy.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah, I think so. Yes.

[Todd]

Todd, I saw a piece last week on 60 Minutes showing like how someone is taking care of it and trying to keep it from falling apart, going deep inside the structure. And he's got to do all kinds of stuff to it to just keep it from just collapsing.

[Dan Patrick]

Well, you can take the tour inside, which is really, you know, pretty impressive.

[Paulie]

Yes, Paulie, Mount Rushmore was designed by American sculptor.

[Fox Sports Radio Announcer]

Yes.

[Paulie]

Usa.

[Dan Patrick]

Okay.

[Paulie]

Gutsan Borglum. Well, Borglum, I don't know, he might be first generation. Yeah.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes.

[Dylan]

Dylan, I didn't know you could go inside of it.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah.

[Dylan]

Thought it was just like a stone edifice thing. Like there's actually like you can go in the backside.

[Dan Patrick]

There's a viewing area that you can go into. And then you could see a little film with it. It look, it's impressive. I, you know, it was just after three hours with four kids and everybody's screaming and crying and then we pull up and then they go, okay, can we get back in the car? And then. My wife's not having it. She's like, no, no, no. We spent two hours there. Yes.

[Paulie]

Paul, quickly guess how many years it took to complete.32. I'm going to give you. It's 14 years.

[Dan Patrick]

Oh, so bad. Okay, now, who was the guy who designed it?

[Paulie]

Gutson Borglum.

[Dan Patrick]

Did he do all the sculpting?

[Paulie]

No, he kind of oversaw. There was over 400 workers during the time it was. And they had like repel down on little chairs and chip, chip, chip. And they had next to them like a picture and of their little block. And they had to bring their lunch and their sandwiches.

[Dan Patrick]

Well, come on in. We got a lot of things to talk about. We'll talk about what happened yesterday is Argentina stuns England. And that'll set up. Now they have Spain, Argentina on Sunday, but on Saturday you have the third place game. Oh, this is. Are they calling this the bronze boot or something. France against England in Miami. Man, I don't know now if I'm a fan, am I going to see France trot out their best and England trot out their best? And if you're England after getting crushed France, you get shut out. Do you want to play? I think if you go back in March Madness, there used to be a third place game, I believe, for basketball. I believe that they had a third place game. I don't know when it was played, but for some reason back in the 70s maybe or the 60s, they, they would have a third place game. Yes, Paul.

[Paulie]

Yeah. In the late 60s, the 70s, and up until 81 they had a consolation game.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah. Okay.

[Paulie]

The last one was in 81, Virginia over LSU in the official third place matchup.

[Dan Patrick]

Okay. Stat of the Day brought to you by Panini America. The official trading cards of the program. First hour brought to you by Dude Dude Wipes Extra large wet built to close out the game properly. Send a free 10 pack to a toilet paper user, you know, at dudewipes.com brown card play of the Day poll questions. Stat of the day. All of that coming up. Good morning those watching the program or listening on our 400 radio affiliates around the country. Stu Holden did a great job yesterday. Former USA player. He is working for FOX with the World Cup. He'll join us next hour. Mike Tirico from the Open Championship. Also NBC Sports. Jason Garrett, former Cowboy head coach. He will stop by in the final hour of the program. 877-3-DP show number to dial us up. Operator Tyler sitting by. He'll take your phone calls. Email address dp danpatrick.com Twitter handle @dpshow oh, the ESPYs were last night, by the way. And normally I don't focus too much on the ESPYs, having been involved in the process. When the ESPYs first started and we couldn't get any athletes to show up. And if you did show up, you won an espy pretty much guaranteed, which was fine with me. And then it became the greatest night in sports and it kind of bounced around to different cities. I always liked it when it was at Radio City. It was in Vegas, Los Angeles and, you know, you had a chance to mingle with, you know, some of the celebrities you get, you know, a lot of musicians or actors who came in, they got to hand out awards. But normally I don't get too caught up in who won or who didn't win an sb. But I did, I did wonder about this last night. Team of the Year I was in New York, so I'm thinking it's going to be the Knicks. But I kept thinking Indiana football. That's a shocker. The Knicks winning the title is not a shocker. Indiana, nobody had Indiana winning a national title. The Knicks, okay, they've been playing, you know, playoff basketball for the last couple of years, okay, they got. They got by a couple of teams, and they end up winning the NBA championship. Now, they did it in dramatic fashion. OG Anunoby was singled out for the best play, which I find interesting because it didn't win a championship. Now, remarkable tip in had that won a championship. Now we're talking about greatest play of the year, because when I look back on great plays, historical plays, like people don't realize or they may forget, Kirk Gibson hit a home run in Game 1 against the Oakland A's, not Game 7. Bill Buckner's error was in Game 6 of the World Series. Christian Laitner shot against Kentucky. That didn't win a national championship. Ray Allen, corner three. There was another game to go. That was game six. Magic Skyhook in the Garden. I was there, and I even thought that won a championship. That was game six. David Tyree, he score a touchdown. Plaxico Burris, that's one of the. Oh, by the way, hey, Plaxico, that was nice. Did you see David Tyrese catch? I just won the Super Bowl. Yeah, I know, but look at David Tyree. You know, the 04 Red Sox. You. You ended up sweeping the Cardinals, but everybody talks about you beating the Yankees. They forget about the Cardinals series. Carlton Fisk, 1975, Game 6 against the Reds, didn't win the World Series. So OG Anunoby. But then Paulie goes, I got a real problem with the ESPYs. I go, why? He goes, I'll save it. I go, okay, so here you go.

[Paulie]

I rarely get upset by the ESPYs. I sit there with my cocktail, I watch, and it's a little bit of fun, but you touched on it. Best team, the New York Knicks. Great story. I mean, team USA Hockey and women's hockey, men's and women's. They probably didn't give it to one of them. Dan, in our lifetime, the Indiana Hoosiers football team won the national title, the number one overall draft pick and the Heisman winner. This is one of the best team stories in the past 40 years. If you know the history, and you do, of Indiana football, I still can't believe they won the national title. In my. If you would have told me 10 years ago, bet a limb against Indiana winning the national title would have done it.

[Dan Patrick]

Okay. If the ESPYs were held in Bloomington, which they've considered, then Indiana would have won the best team.

[Paulie]

Do you think it's maneuvered, massaged for the home team?

[Dan Patrick]

Well, Fat Joe was there to perform. I gotta believe that he knew that the Knicks were going to win best team. Because if you're Fat Joe and they go and the best team sp goes to the Indiana Hoosiers. Let's bring out Fat Joe. Yeah, Paulie.

[Paulie]

But maybe they had Mellon camp in back ready with guitar in case the Hoosiers.

[Dan Patrick]

I doubt that.

[Paulie]

That's nuts.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah. Yes.

[Marvin]

Marvin, do you also think it was recency bias? Because it just happened last month instead of January when Indiana won the national team.

[Dan Patrick]

It was pretty magical.

[Marvin]

It was amazing.

[Dan Patrick]

I mean, you know, it took over the city. It's been a long, long, long time. It's just people may not realize how bad Indiana football has been. And if you. They were below average. They weren't average. They were below average for decades. I go back to the 70s with Indiana football. I go back when Lee Corso was there. I remember they had a white tailback. Mike Hark, Raider, I believe.

[Commercial Announcer]

Nice.

[Dan Patrick]

I think he had a thousand yards in a season or two. But they were not good football teams at all. And okay, recency bias in New York, but still the Knicks did something pretty incredible. And the way they did it took over the city. I get it. Like, Indiana didn't take over something the way like the Knicks. That was something that was every single night, every single game viewing parties, even what happened with the parade. I mean, that was special. I get it. But Indiana football, in my lifetime, I. It'd be like if you said, hey, Rice football is going to win a national title. I go, not in my lifetime. Yes, Paul.

[Paulie]

Indiana went 16 0. That's like triple some of their good seasons back in the day. I think the comp is okay. The Knicks are a generally a quality franchise. Above average. And they're in the mix for the time.

[Dan Patrick]

I don't know if they're a quality franchise.

[Paulie]

Yeah.

[Dan Patrick]

From the top down.

[Paulie]

Yeah.

[Dan Patrick]

But yeah, they've. They've had their moments there.

[Paulie]

This is like the Washington Wizards winning 70 games and winning the. The NBA title.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes, Todd.

[Todd]

The bigger schools would be steamed if rice won.

[Dan Patrick]

Thank you, Todd.

[Todd]

Steam Rice. There you go.

[Dan Patrick]

I know it's already. I felt like I've already done a show this morning because of Todd. And it's a Thursday, but it's a Friday. Fritzy because, you know, we have Will Ferrell and Darius Rucker joining us tomorrow.

[Todd]

Three guests today.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah, I know.

[Todd]

Weekend around.

[Dan Patrick]

You're a little fired up there. Little fired up. Yes.

[Dylan]

Dylan, I think that was steamed rice. May have been one of Todd's better ones in recent days.

[Paulie]

Not a good sign.

[Dan Patrick]

No.

[Dylan]

Yeah.

[Dan Patrick]

Will you stop? I think it was.

[Dylan]

That's not necessarily.

[Dan Patrick]

You're not being objective here. Okay. You're in the back row with him, and it feels like. Like Seaton would do. Seaton would placate Todd because you're in the back row with him. Oh, Todd. Todd came in today and goes, a truck had to catch on fire. I. He said a truck decided to catch on fire. And I couldn't get to my doctor appointment with my ear.

[Todd]

I left extra early. It should take only an hour to get there. And, like, I'm sitting in this. They blocked the whole freeway. I hope the person or people involved were okay. But once. But you know how it is. Once you get to the point where the accident was supposed to be. I guess they cleaned it up. I'm like, I didn't see anything. For all I know, they just put some little cones out there and just kind of inconveniencing everyone for now.

[Dan Patrick]

Oh, do you really think that they would do that? They would put cones out there just to inconvenience you?

[Todd]

Maybe not that, but I will say that I think when it's a construction situation, there is no impetus or there's no reason for anyone that's working construction to speed up the process of getting things fixed or done, because you don't know sometimes when your next project is going to be. So you stay employed and make something that can take a month, take three months. I feel that way.

[Dan Patrick]

It was an accident. That was an accident, not construction.

[Todd]

No, but I've been behind the construction day, and I'm watching, and they're having lunch, they're hanging out, they're playing cards.

[Dan Patrick]

They know they're not. No, they're not.

[Paulie]

God forbid they eat.

[Todd]

Have you ever been near the Van Wyck Expressway in New York? This has been going with JFK. This has been going on for, like, 15, 20 years.

[Dan Patrick]

I know that.

[Todd]

What are they doing? How is it taking this long as

[Dan Patrick]

the people in Boston with the great dig.

[Todd]

Ridiculous.

[Dan Patrick]

That was. That was a long process as well. Dylan, what kind of poll question do you have for me today?

[Dylan]

Well, Dan, off of the ESPYs last night, we've got a couple options. What's the best awards show? Obviously, recency Bias. We'll throw the sps in there. But Oscars, Grammys, they're all, you know, not great.

[Dan Patrick]

No, the Oscars are great.

[Dylan]

Yes.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes, they're great. By the way, we want to have Matt Damon on the show, and he's in the movie the Odyssey. And there's a little bit of a problem here because I have to go see the movie. Well, it's only playing where there's IMAX theaters. It's not like I can just go someplace and the movie will be playing. And I found out there are 41 IMAX theaters in America. I believe that's the count. Well, I don't know how many are in the New York City area, but I was willing to go see the Odyssey so we could have Matt Damon on. I mean, this is a big, big, big. You know, Rotten Tomatoes gave it 99 out of 100. This will be a blockbuster. Christopher Nolan. But I think there's 41 IMAX theaters, which. I'd love to see it, but I don't know if I can see it because the theaters are sold out. People are scalping tickets to go see the Odyssey. Yes.

[Todd]

Todd, what do you make? All you guys have, like, spending several hundred dollars or more just to be one of the first ones to see it on opening night. Isn't that insane? Maybe it's. I don't know.

[Dan Patrick]

No, it's supply and demand.

[Todd]

What, you can't wait a few days or a week or so? It's going to eventually be on Netflix or whatever, like every other movie. It's like, why do you have to be. Say you were the first one to see it?

[Dan Patrick]

People love to be able to tell you, hey, have you seen this show? No, I haven't. Then they want to tell you about

[Todd]

this, but it's just. It's a beam of light off a screen onto it. It's just for several hundred dollars. Just to say that you saw it first, I don't get.

[Dan Patrick]

Well, it's not a beam of light. It's actual movie.

[Todd]

Yeah, but it's. But still, it's not an interactive movie. The actors, look, don't come on the stage. It's not a, you know, Rocky Horror Picture show on a screen.

[Dan Patrick]

Do you like anything?

[Todd]

I don't know how you could spend 5, 6, $700 on any film.

[Dan Patrick]

If you want to go to see that. If you were going to go see the Broncos in the super bowl and they said you had to pay $500 more, would you go see the Broncos? And you. A lot of money okay, but if it's important to you, you probably do that.

[Todd]

How could it be important to anybody to see this movie? Like, what? It's not like a live sporting event or it's just a movie. I don't care if it's the greatest movie in the history of the world, See it then a few days later for the normal.

[Dan Patrick]

What about a sporting event? What about, you know, Spain and Argentina for the World Cup?

[Todd]

There are people that are that passionate, they've traveled all over the world, and if they want to spend thousands of dollars on hotels and flights and Ubers and everything, that's wonderful. But again, this is a live sporting event for generations. You're representing a country. This is a film. It's a movie.

[Marvin]

I just.

[Todd]

I just don't get it. I don't know. To me, it's just. I think it's insane. It's already crazy expensive to spend 15, $20 on a movie.

[Dan Patrick]

How do you see the world this way, really?

[Todd]

I try not to be negative. I think, like, everything seems to be these days an inconvenience or a ripoff. That's how it's like you thought a

[Dan Patrick]

truck decided to catch on fire.

[Todd]

Less that. More of, like, why is it taking so long to clear the scene that every lane is blocked? We're not moving at all for 45 minutes. There are experts that come in. One tows the thing away, the ambulance comes, and I hope everybody is okay. But it was taking remarkably long for whatever the accident was. They've got it in 20, 26, be able to get that figured out.

[Dan Patrick]

So you think that these workers wanted to be out there where you have an orange sky because something's on fire in Canada and they can't breathe and it's 94 degrees, humidity is probably 100, and they choose to stay out there and milk the system.

[Todd]

I think it's very uncomfortable. But I don't know what the incentive is. At a construction site, like, if you finish it by July 23rd, you're going to get this much more money. I'm always curious about that stuff. Like, what's the incentive to get something done faster in that world? And maybe I'm being ignorant. And there is something like, finish it by August 1st and everybody gets a raise.

[Dan Patrick]

You are being ignorant. Yes, yes, Marvin.

[Marvin]

My grandfather told me a quote once when I was in traffic. Once he goes, somebody's life just changed forever. You're just in traffic.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah. Don't say Todd. Oh, he was angry. And, hey, this truck decided to catch on fire. My ear.

[Todd]

My ear had an ear infection for two weeks. Now I have to have to reschedule it. There was a little inconvenience. And again, I will reiterate, I hope everyone is okay.

[Dan Patrick]

You didn't say that earlier.

[Todd]

I don't understand how they couldn't just move everybody into one lane. No one was merging. Everyone's just sitting there.

[Dan Patrick]

Blame everybody but you.

[Todd]

I will say there was a police car next to me stuck in the same traffic. And I do respect that he was willing to sit there with everyone else while I'm banging my head and I'm just losing my mind. He could have easily said, I'm not sitting in this.

[Dan Patrick]

How about we take a break here? We'll take a break. Just getting started. I did forewarn you. This is what I walked into today and I'll try to survive. Take a break. We're back after this.

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[Ben Maller]

Hey, it's Ben, host of the Fifth Hour with Ben Maller. Would mean a lot to have you join us on our weekly auditory journey. You're asking, what in God's name is the fifth hour?

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I'll tell you.

[Ben Maller]

It's a spin off of the Ben Mather Show, a cult hit overnights on fsr. Why should you listen? Picture, if you will, a world where we chat with captains of industry in media, sports and more every week. Explore some amazing facts about human nature and more. Listen to the fifth hour with Ben Mather on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast, or wherever you get your podcast.

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[Dan Patrick]

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[Ari Chambers]

What's up, fam? I'm sports journalist Ari Chambers.

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

Hey, what's up, y'?

[Sam Jay]

All?

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

It's your girl, Sam Jay.

[Ari Chambers]

And we're the host of Everyone Watches Women's Sports, a new podcast from together. And I heart women's sports because, let's

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

be real, women's sports is giving us way too much to talk about these days.

[Ari Chambers]

So Kelsey Finler, she became the first female solo rower to go from California to Hawaii.

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

My first thought is, like, what's up with the. Like, what are we?

[Todd]

What are we eating?

[Ari Chambers]

The highlights, the rivalries, the breakout stars, the moments that take over your entire

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

timeline and the conversations that start during the game and somehow keep going all week. Every week, we're breaking down the biggest stories across women's sports.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi Osaka showing out. She beat Sabalenka.

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

Shout outs to you, Naomi, you get the Palm.

[Ari Chambers]

Naomi, you get the palm for that.

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

Because we're not just interested in what happened. We're interested in why everyone's talking, talking about it. Because everyone watches women's sports. Listen to everyone watches women's Sports on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcast.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Hey, Portlandia fans.

[Fred Armisen]

Kerry Brownstein and Fred Armisen here, you

[Kerry Brownstein]

know us, or rather, you know them. Tony and Candace, Nina and Lance, Spike and yes, the chicken.

[Fred Armisen]

We've played a lot of iconic characters over the years, but today we're showing up as ourselves to tell you about Podlandia. Ao rewatch our brand new podcast.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Each week we'll revisit an episode of Portlandia from the very beginning, breaking down the sketches, exploring the backstories of our most iconic characters, revisiting the Portland locations you know and love, and opening up about our creative process.

[Fred Armisen]

How did any of this get made? Why do we think that was a good idea? We're ready to talk about it.

[Kerry Brownstein]

And we'll also be joined by the people who helped bring it all to life, guest stars, collaborators and friends, including director Jonathan Krisel, the mayor himself, Kyle McLaughlin, legendary musician Amy Mann and many more.

[Fred Armisen]

Kyle is going for it. Here you fully improvised not just words, but a song ability.

[Dan Patrick]

Well, I thought he was going to write. I thought you were all going to write a song.

[Fred Armisen]

I remember you thinking that.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Listen to Podlandia. Ayo. Rewatch on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcasts, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Lele Pons]

My first guest is Paris Hilton, Shakira, Luke and Yerin Samira. E Grac. I'm so excited.

[Dan Patrick]

On the bouncy bed, you have surprises, many surprises.

[Lele Pons]

Welcome to Suite 305 where the group chat comes to life. What up?

[Dan Patrick]

Hola, amiga. Hola, mijo amiga.

[Lele Pons]

Hola. What up? Yes.

[Kerry Brownstein]

Se mi amante.

[Dan Patrick]

Oof.

[Sam Jay]

Oof.

[Lele Pons]

You're the only person I know that loves a yellow starburst. It's lemonade. This is Sweet 305. Listen to Sweet 305 with Lele Pons as part of my cultura podcast Network on the iHeartRadio app, Apple Podcast or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dan Patrick]

And you could see where England was not coming Back their faces were like, what just happened here? And you go into that prevent defense without getting too technical, because I shouldn't get too technical when it comes to soccer. But it felt like a prevent defense. And as Todd loves to say, it prevents you from winning. So France and England, they will be in the consolation game. That'll be on Saturday. I want to get in price. Can't be too expensive for that. In Miami, Spain and Argentina. Then on Sunday, that will be at the Meadowlands. Now, I don't know if the weather is going to be the way it's been here, but. And are there wildfires in Canada? Like, there was like a golden haze over the city. Did you see anything on that, Dylan?

[Dylan]

Yeah, well, I mean, just being outside yesterday, it was like, it looked like it was going to, like, rain orange kind of. And I saw the air quality index was 158, which apparently it's bad.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes, that is. But I don't know if it's going to be cleared up for Sunday, what the weather is going to be like in the New York City area. Yes, Dale?

[Dylan]

Yeah, Well, I think. Was it last year or the year before that this exact same thing happened? And I think it was like a couple days of it being at least. Like, it was really hazy, and then it still took a little bit to, like, fully dissipate.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah.

[Paulie]

Paulie, I have 82 and Sunny for the World Cup Final on Sunday in New Jersey.

[Dan Patrick]

Okay. Well, hopefully the air quality is good, but it was a weird kind of haze that we had. But I think they had wildfires in Canada and the winds were blowing it down. New York and Massachusetts. Can we sue? I'm wondering. I don't know, but that was just weird. It was like end of the world kind of ominous feel with this orange, Agent orange out there. All right, so Messi's gonna get credit. And yes, he did have two assists, but his teammates have really, really helped out here in the last couple of matches. And they had two great goals. And we've seen this. But Messi takes up so much oxygen when he's out there. Like, everybody, ha. And he got beat up. Now, he's not a flopper. He. He's battle. He's battle tested. He stands his ground. He gets knocked down, he gets back up and you know you're going to be pleading your case. Of course, you're messy. But they go after him, they rough him up a little bit. And he's got this low center of gravity, though, because he'll go through there. He's like, you know, Frank Gore running. He's just going to keep running and running and running, and then all of a sudden, you look for just a little bit of daylight, and he got it. It's. It's fun to watch. And now I want him to win the title. It was like, if you get there, I want him to win the World cup again. And I. Look, I don't have any. I had England winning the World Cup. Who. The headlines are not good in England today, man, because that's one of those where you had this, like, you have a good team. And I just. I didn't think Argentina was great, but they were great when they needed to. And it's no coincidence after the 75th minute, like, they can be down one, they can be down two, but all it takes is boom, and then boom. What's that weird thing that. And once again, I'm not an expert on trying to be. I never understood this about a 20 lead. What is the expression with that, Paulie?

[Paulie]

The most dangerous lead in sports. They say that with hockey, and they say it was soccer. 2, 0 lead.

[Dan Patrick]

I would think 10 would be more dangerous than 2 0, but, you know, call me crazy, man. You don't want to be up 2 0. Yeah, I do. Instead of 10 or 0 0.

[Paulie]

Yes, Paulie, by that math, wouldn't 30 be even worse? Like, man, we're up 3 0. We're in danger.

[Dan Patrick]

I'm not sure. I'm. I'm just not sure. Messi had two assists and taking down England, but, man, oh, man, that's one of those that you could see Argentina, the expression, you know, the outpouring of emotion that they're moving on to play in the World Cup. But that didn't match the disappointment. Like, the low of England did not. Did not match the high of Argentina. And that's saying a lot because this is what Argentina is all about. This is all they have, and you could see it on their faces. But England, you had a chance. You had it. And on American soil. And as Dylan likes to point out, England doesn't do well on American soil.

[Dylan]

Never have.

[Dan Patrick]

Dan, thank you. You want to give us a history lesson there?

[Dylan]

Well, I think it was 1776. I was. I was thinking about it, though, is I wonder if there's any conflicted Spaniards for the title game. Like, if you're an F's big die hard, FC Barcelona fan, is there a part of you that's maybe a little bit conflicted that you might be rooting for Messi?

[Co-host with Ari Chambers]

A Little bit.

[Dan Patrick]

Oh, no. It's your country.

[Dylan]

Really?

[Dan Patrick]

Oh, of course, yes.

[Dylan]

Not even a little?

[Dan Patrick]

No, no. What is it? You've been hanging out with Todd too long. What is wrong with the back row?

[Dylan]

I think that's a fair point. It's like, you know, Jacob deGrom went to the Rangers. I wanted him to do well,

[Paulie]

even comp.

[Sam Jay]

Wow.

[Dan Patrick]

Why don't. Why didn't the back row secede from the show? Maybe. Maybe you guys go to a different part of the building here.

[Todd]

That's a little hurtful.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah. Truthful and hurtful at the same time. Dylan, got a poll question for me today?

[Dylan]

I do. Dan, if you're a Spaniard and you're

[Dan Patrick]

Barcelona rolling it,

[Dylan]

this is a good one. Actually, Paulie tossed this out earlier. You can only pick one. What are you watching on Sunday? The Open Championship final round or the

[Dan Patrick]

World cup final game? 19. Scotty Scheffler. Mike Trico will join us. Coming up, final hour of the program. Scoring conditions are really good at Royal Burkdale. Have not played there before, but now this is one of those. If I said, hey, look at this golf course. If you didn't know that they were playing a major and you just saw that golf course, or you came to the golf course and you go, man, what's wrong with the fairways? They're all dried out. It's like ready to turn brown. That's the way they have their golf courses. They're not, you know, manicured. Like, we love to have the grass. It's got to be green. It's gotta. When we were in Tahoe, I saw them painting part of the green, like around the apron of the green, painting it green just to make sure. Visually, it's going to look great. Over in England, they don't care. Ireland, Scotland, it's like this is how the course is. It dries out. Guys are hitting 400 yard drives. And if you think about this, you don't have to be a big bomber. The last eight winners of the Open Championship, Scotty Scheffler, Xander Shoffley, Brian Harmon, Cam Smith, Colin Morikawa, Shane Lowry, Francesco Maranare, and Jordan Speed. These aren't bombers there. You got to be able to put in the fairway, stay out of the bunkers and be able to navigate, you know, bump and run. Just try to get it on the green, get it in the right position. And, you know, having played in Scotland or Ireland and England. I've never played in Scotland. Oh, no, I have. What am I talking about? You know, there's certain courses where you go, I don't. I have no idea where I'm hitting it. And. But when you have the local knowledge, that's when you realize just how important a caddy can be. Because they'll be like, put it over here. Over there. Yes. And don't question me again. Okay. All right, all right. And then you realize that, you know, this is what they're navigating over there as well. The fact that Tiger played was at St. Andrews all four rounds. Didn't hit into the bunker once, which is almost impossible to do, I would say impossible, but he did do that. Didn't put it in a bunker. But I don't know if these guys are going to hit driver very often over there. But it's fun to watch. I couldn't, I could not have a steady diet of playing that kind of golf course. But when you do play it, or even when I watch it, I love it. Just because it looks like you're looking at, you know, the moon. It's a different planet. If they put it in black and white, you'd probably say, oh man, they were playing Where's Arnie, Where's Jack? You know, they're in sweaters, you know. Yeah.

[Paulie]

Paulie, I do have some good news about Sunday for sports watching. It appears, according to Golf Digest, that the Open Championship should wrap up by 3pm Eastern. No rain delays. And the World Cup, Spain versus Argentina begins at 3pm Eastern.

[Dan Patrick]

Okay. Coverage starts at 11am Eastern. Yeah, they got a four hour pre game show. I, I mean, obviously I would say World cup, but if I can squeeze both of them in, that's pretty good day. Pretty good day. And I'll be done for dinner. Yeah, I'll be up, you know, be like 5:30 and you know, we're done. We're done with the day. Full day there. All right. Any other poll questions you're thinking about? We'll get a couple of phone calls. Got our play of the day coming up as well.

[Dylan]

We got a, a cheeky poll question. Submission by our cameraman Weeks, actually. Which award should Knicks fans be most proud of? The SB for best team or the NBA cup title?

[Dan Patrick]

Oh, man, have the Knicks won a couple of cups.

[Marvin]

I think it's just one.

[Dan Patrick]

Just one cup. Okay.

[Paulie]

Adders more.

[Dan Patrick]

I would say the sb. Yes, Todd.

[Todd]

I would say the NBA cup because you had to earn it and win games and like do something as opposed to some votes. I know it's, you know, respected people vote on it from all walks of life or whatever, but I'd rather earn something on a quarter of field than like hope that enough people voted for me to win the trophy.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah, but nobody's celebrating the cup.

[Todd]

How quickly are you putting the SB up on your mantle?

[Dan Patrick]

Well, no, you got to celebrate with your teammates. Like everybody got to celebrate. They got to watch you celebrate. So I would say the ESPYs over the Cup. The cup, you know, are you. Well, didn't the Lakers put up a banner? I was going to say, are you going to put up a banner? Yeah, I guess, yeah. Paul.

[Paulie]

Dan, of course I have the history of the Emirates NBA cup on my screen. Lakers won 23, 24, Bucks 24, 25, Knicks last year.

[Dan Patrick]

Okay.

[Dylan]

Yes, Dylan, Was the NBA cup title weakened by that championship and stuff after the fact? Like, did that sort of diminish the magnitude of winning the mid season NBA Cup?

[Dan Patrick]

Yes. Yeah. Because at the end of the year, if the Knicks didn't win the title, would you go, you know what? But we won the cup. No, no, you wouldn't. You, you. How about we have a cup parade? Yeah. See, there's no celebration. Dwayne in Indiana. Hi, Dwayne.

[Caller]

Hey, Dan, first time caller. I want to talk about how IU football didn't get recognized as with an espy. They should have been because Ball State University beat IU in football in 2012 and Ball State socks.

[Dan Patrick]

Thank you, Dwayne. I don't know if that would be a deciding factor now. Once again, the votes are really close. Why should we pick Indiana football? Because in 2012 Ball State beat Indiana and Ball State sucks. All right. And the winner of the 2026 team award for the SB goes to Indiana football. But I didn't think we'd be arguing Indiana versus the Knicks today. But that's the beauty of this show. Yes, Dylan, it is funny to picture

[Dylan]

like a roundtable of people selecting the espn. One guy just raises his hand, he's like, there was 2012 guys that ball State loss and they sucked.

[Dan Patrick]

I, I've been in these meetings behind the scenes and. But that was back when maybe it wasn't as legitimate as it is now. Now I don't know how legitimate it is. I've been gone from the mothership for 20 years. I just know when we were trying to get athletes and then I remember we had to get every one of Ken Griffey Jr. S 500 home runs if he was going to show up at the ESPYs, because his mom, he gave that to his mom so he'd have all of his so we had to have people go back through the archives and find every home run Ken Griffey Jr. Hit. And then somebody wanted suits for himself and his friends to show up. Like, okay. I mean, maybe it happens with other award shows. And we were desperate because you're like, we're gonna celebrate. And then all of a sudden. And we'd always have a great host. I mean, Norm MacDonald, Dennis Miller, will Ferrell. Like, there were a lot of fun people who showed up for that. We just couldn't get the athletes to show up. Yes, Todd, just because you have the

[Todd]

power to do something or request something doesn't mean you should do it. Just to see how far you can push the envelope, whether it's a rider or whatever that gets obnoxious after a while. You have your money and your fame and everything, but you still got to have a certain type of Eminem or a pink limo has to pick you up. Come on.

[Dan Patrick]

You imagine if you were famous.

[Todd]

I wouldn't do those things.

[Marvin]

I really would.

[Todd]

Give me, like, a black cherry soda. Dr. Brown's in the little mini pigs and blankets in my green room. I really don't think I'm going to ask for 73 different stupid things that's going to take kids to run all over the countryside looking for. For me.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes.

[Paulie]

Well, you just said, Todd, exactly what a writer is. Imagine a PA has to find black cherry soda and little mini hot dogs with an hour's notice.

[Todd]

If this is like New York City or la, any March supermarket, I would take a Pepsi or a Mountain Dew. And it doesn't have to be specifically that, but those. I would ask for things that I like. That wouldn't be very difficult.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes, Dylan, if you ask for a

[Dylan]

Dr. Brown soda in, like, the middle of Indiana, that's going to be literally maybe the tallest order possible.

[Dan Patrick]

Can I have a Mr. Pib? How about a Fresca? Oh, yeah. What time?

[Todd]

I went into a deli super bowl week in Minnesota, and I knew they didn't have it, but just to see their expression, their face and, you know, wanted to get a potato knish at the. At the deli in Minnesota, which, you know, they looked at me like I had five heads. No one knew what a knish was. But for me, a deli should know what a knish is, in my opinion.

[Dan Patrick]

What do you. What do you got for me the next two hours? It might not have been a Jewish deli, Todd.

[Todd]

It doesn't have to be. I don't know.

[Dan Patrick]

To me, not every deli is a Jewish deli.

[Todd]

Deli should have a corned beef sandwiches and knishes and half sour pickles and like the basic.

[Dan Patrick]

Fair.

[Caller]

Fair.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes, Paulie.

[Paulie]

It's like walking to a Greek restaurant and ordering Italian food. Why would they have it right?

[Dan Patrick]

Yes.

[Dylan]

Dylan, new poll question. Better deli, Italian or Jewish? Wow, those are the two titans.

[Dan Patrick]

Damn. Oh, that's a Sophie's choice right there. Let me take a break here. Let's regroup. You know, let's huddle. Play. Play of the day is next.

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[Dan Patrick]

Chris in Syracuse. Hi Chris. What's underway?

[Caller]

Hey, thanks Dan. Hey, in the opening segment you covered all my points really well and I agree, I'm a Nick fan. But as far as Indiana football deserved the SB for all the reasons you said and also with the nil and the portal, who would ever thought that Indiana would have a possibility at winning? And I am curious to watch France and England. I don't know if you call the friendly or whatever but in the consolation game and I do remember when NCA basketball tournament had the consolation game way back when in my SU Orange played Louisville in 1975 and I remember it wasn't on TV but I listened to it on the radio and it was a great high scoring game in the 90s OT and I think it was Louisville's Darren Griffith was a freshman that year. And now I know in the Olympics you're playing for bronze medal but in the World Cup I wonder how hard it like you said for France and England coming off crushing losses with really nothing tangible on the line for their players and fans to get up for Saturday's game. And last segment Dylan was talking about he used Jacob deGrom as a cop and I guess to have him as a cop to be apples to apples, it would be Jacob deGrom in Game 7 for Texas against the Mets. And I'm sure Dylan's loyalty would be with his New York Mets.

[Dan Patrick]

Dylan,

[Dylan]

I want to say no, but he's correct.

[Dan Patrick]

Lucas in Texas. Hi Lucas.

[Todd]

Hey Dan.

[Sam Jay]

Good morning.

[Dan Patrick]

Good morning.

[Sam Jay]

Two quick things. First off that Argentina game, just incredible. I feel like they have played three of the most emotionally draining wins in the knockout rounds against Cape Verde, Egypt and now England. So hopefully they can keep it going here in the final. One quick thing, I'm temporarily over in Kentucky doing some summer army training and their quite a few ROTC cadets around. And this sounds like I'm setting it up for a joke. This is a real thing. Ran into a guy yesterday wearing a Krappensburg State shirt. And so big fan of the show, Big Seton fan. And so we were talking for a little bit and I said, yeah, you know, I like to call in every now and then. And I said, what? What kind of training do you think the cadets at Crabensburg State ROTC would get? And he said, I really can't think of anything better than learning to drive the most useful vehicle in the army. The deuce and a half.

[Dan Patrick]

All right, thank you. Lucas Tripp in Vegas. Good morning, Trip. What do you have for me?

[Caller]

Hey, good morning, dp. Always good to speak with y'. All. So earlier in the week after Tuesday, I thought the back row is going to rally. It's getting worse. They may have to go to the back door. And then one more thing. Are you trying to fulfill some type of make a wish thing as a preferency? I mean.

[Dan Patrick]

Thank you.

[Todd]

Thank you.

[Dan Patrick]

True. That'd be 25 year make a wish.

[Todd]

That's strong. That's a strong comment he just made.

[Dan Patrick]

Yes, he did. Gerald in Mississippi. Hi, Gerald. What do you have for me?

[Caller]

Hey, Dan. First time, long time. 511 and a soft 190. Thank you. All right, so I have a question. So the cold open in between hours on Peacock. Why is Dylan listed as the first Standette? I mean, this is complete disrespect to Paulie, Fritzi and Marvin. When Marvin came on, he went to last. Now Dylan comes on and he's first.

[Dan Patrick]

Was this because you replaced Seaton and was Seaton first? And then it just made it easier to edit this together. I'm not aware of this with, you know how the order of the danets when we start the show. Are you Dylan? No.

[Dylan]

I don't know how any of that works, but that would make the most sense is that it was just sort of a, you know, swapped it into whatever.

[Dan Patrick]

Maybe Mario, the eyes and ears of the show, could help us, our director. But it might have been just because it started with Seaton maybe, and then that kept everybody else in order so we didn't have to reshoot everybody else's opening segment there. Vignette. Yes, Marvin.

[Marvin]

Mario just said it. It was for that reason.

[Dan Patrick]

Okay, so we could just plug and play Dylan and take out Seat. Okay. Yes, Todd.

[Todd]

I was kind of hoping to be last words. It's like featuring Todd first like those guys.

[Ari Chambers]

But

[Dan Patrick]

if you want, we'll do that.

[Todd]

Something to think about.

[Dan Patrick]

Yeah, it is.

[Todd]

It's not about me or anything.

[Dan Patrick]

Never about you. All right, more phone calls coming up. We'll talk some soccer. Stu Holden on the call yesterday. We'll get his thoughts on what happened.

[Lele Pons]

This is an I heart podcast.

[Dan Patrick]

Guaranteed human.