11: BONUS! Updates & AMA

Summary

The Date My Podcast – Episode 11: BONUS! Updates & AMA

Release Date: March 18, 2025

In this special bonus episode of The Date My Podcast, host Jessica Walter welcomes a heartfelt and candid conversation with her ex-fiancé, Kyle Lampy. This episode diverges from the traditional format, offering listeners personal updates, insightful discussions, and an engaging Ask Me Anything (AMA) session. Despite some technical challenges, Margot (Jessica) and Kyle navigate their conversation with honesty and openness, providing a deep dive into their past relationship, personal growth, and perspectives on modern dating.

---

1. Introduction to the Bonus Episode

The episode kicks off around the [01:29] mark with Margot acknowledging the spontaneous nature of this bonus installment. She humorously addresses potential audio issues, setting a relaxed and authentic tone for the conversation.

Margot:
“Hello and welcome to the Date My Podcast bonus episode with season one dater my ex-fiancé Kyle Lampy. So this obviously wasn't like super planned. We have our lavalier mics which who knows if this is even gonna sound good for…”
[02:00]

---

2. Listener Engagement and Updates

Margot shares updates about her recent move to Irvine and her new role working with Annie Elise, a renowned true crime podcaster. She expresses excitement about her new job and her admiration for Annie and her sister, Amy.

Margot:
“I moved to Irvine two weeks ago and started working for Annie Elise, which is really fun because she’s just one of the coolest people I’ve met. If you like true crime, I’m not kidding, check out Annie Elise’s podcasts...”
[03:22]

Meanwhile, Kyle discusses the peace and quiet he's enjoying post-breakup, highlighting his renewed social life and personal activities.

Kyle:
“I’ve been seeing a lot of friends lately, which is cool. I’m just going out, doing things that I normally don’t do...”
[07:22]

---

3. Personal Anecdote: The Jiu Jitsu Dummy Incident

One of the standout moments in this episode is Margot’s humorous yet awkward story about her Jiu Jitsu dummy, Jordan, scaring a cable installer.

Margot:
“I shoved Jordan into my closet in the bedroom, and when the cable guy arrived, he saw Jordan and thought he was dealing with a sex doll. He was horrified and wanted to leave immediately...”
[11:15]

This anecdote not only provides comic relief but also showcases the couple’s ability to laugh at unexpected situations.

---

4. Deep Dive: Monogamy vs. Non-Monogamy

A significant portion of the episode revolves around an AMA session where Margot and Kyle tackle complex topics like monogamy, non-monogamy, and sexual orientation.

Listener Question:
“Are you considering non-monogamy or same-sex relationships?”

Margot:
“I’m not a lesbian. I’m not sexually attracted to women. My attraction is to men...”
[35:10]

The conversation evolves into a broader discussion about the challenges and personal reflections on maintaining monogamous relationships in the modern dating landscape.

Kyle:
“There’s nothing black and white in life, but decisions are based on what we’ve seen repeatedly. I believe in monogamy because it aligns with my upbringing and personal values...”
[39:07]

Margot:
“I’ve been questioning if I’m meant for a traditional monogamous relationship. It’s something I’ve discussed with my therapist and Kyle...”
[38:57]

---

5. Emotional Reflections on Their Breakup

Margot and Kyle delve into the emotional aftermath of their breakup, discussing stages of grief, personal growth, and maintaining a supportive friendship.

Margot:
“I was feeling different and wasn’t ready for marriage or motherhood, which led to our separation...”
[50:03]

Kyle:
“I went through all the stages of grief—sadness, confusion, anger—but ultimately, I can’t be mad at her for who she is. Growth is painful, but necessary...”
[56:00]

Their honest reflections provide listeners with an authentic glimpse into the complexities of ending a significant relationship while preserving mutual respect and care.

---

6. Closing Thoughts and Future Episodes

As the episode winds down, Margot and Kyle touch on their unique relationship dynamic and potential future collaborations. They address listeners' suggestions for bringing Kyle back in future episodes, emphasizing that each season will feature a new “Dater.”

Margot:
“Listeners have been requesting Kyle back for season two, but that’s not the design of the show. Each season features a new dater...”
[68:17]

Kyle:
“I’d support Margot in setting me up with someone, but it would be challenging to balance our past and new relationships...”
[65:50]

They conclude by encouraging listeners to engage with the podcast on various platforms and hinting at more questions and stories to come in future episodes.

Margot:
“Check out The Date My Pod on Instagram, YouTube, Spotify, Apple, and all the platforms. We will talk to you soon...”
[69:12]

---

Notable Quotes

• Margot on Relationship Dynamics:
  “I want to see him be a dad. I want to see him get married.”
  [58:24]

• Kyle on Monogamy:
  “I don’t mind settling down for the right person.”
  [41:34]

• Margot on Personal Growth:
  “I have to be selfish sometimes.”
  [47:29]

• Kyle on Supporting Each Other Post-Breakup:
  “I can’t be mad at her for who she is. Growth is painful, but necessary.”
  [56:00]

---

Conclusion

Episode 11 of The Date My Podcast offers a rare and intimate look into the lives of Jessica (Margot) Walter and her ex-fiancé, Kyle Lampy. Through their open dialogue, they explore themes of personal growth, relationship dynamics, and the challenges of maintaining meaningful connections post-breakup. This bonus episode not only provides updates on their lives but also invites listeners to ponder deeper questions about love, commitment, and self-discovery in the modern dating world.

---

Connect with The Date My Podcast:

• Instagram: @datemypod
• YouTube: The Date My Podcast
• Spotify & Apple Podcasts: The Date My Podcast

Stay tuned for more insightful conversations and heartwarming stories in upcoming episodes.

Transcript

[Jessica]

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[Ryan]

Hello, it is Ryan and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com I looked over the sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Coincidence? I think not. Everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino's home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free anytime, anywhere, even at 30,000ft. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[Kyle]

No purchase necessary.

[Margot]

BTW, terms and conditions 18 +testing1 23 I don't even know how it we start this.

[Kyle]

Hello, welcome to the Date My Pod extra episode with her fiance ex fiance Kyle Lampy.

[Margot]

Hello and welcome to the Date My Podcast bonus episode with season one dater my ex fiance Kyle Lampy.

[Kyle]

Hello everyone.

[Margot]

So this obviously wasn't like super planned. We have our lavalier mics which who knows if this is even gonna sound good for. Yeah, sorry, a podcast episode. But we'll see. Hang in there with us guys. If it sounds awful, tell us. And if we do another bonus episode like this then we'll change your thing.

[Kyle]

Because we're just gonna do what we want.

[Margot]

We'll change it up. Same with the video. This is my second. This is on a tripod and we're.

[Kyle]

Using the sun's natural light to light.

[Margot]

We are no lighting so if a cloud comes, sorry, we're screwed. No, but we have been reached out to by people. The podcast page has been in Instagram dms. I have. There's comments on the YouTube which I love. Thank you all for listening and commenting and reaching out but a lot of the questions for me, and you can speak for yourself, have been more personal about, like, our relationship and about how I felt about doing the show and meeting the girls and all that. More personal questions about me and you and our relationship. I really wanted to answer here, and I kind of just wanted to, like, give an update on how life's been going, so. Oh, and. And I'll add, I'm seeing a lot of. I've gotten a lot of DMs and comments of people saying, bring Kyle back for season two of Date My podcast. And that's not the design of the show, you guys. Every season is supposed to be a new dater that I hook up, but.

[Kyle]

This one's gone so good. And we hear you guys, and that's exactly what we're gonna do, because that's.

[Margot]

Not what we're gonna do.

[Kyle]

We have decided that this is basically, I'm taking over. This is what.

[Margot]

We're not gonna do that. But who knows? Like, we're recording this episode, me and you. And if people, if you guys want to hear more of, like, since we are friends and we're close, if you want more of this dynamic, then maybe we'll do a regular bonus episode or whatever. Who knows?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

But anyway, tell us about. Have people reached out to you since the show has been airing? How's that been going?

[Kyle]

Yeah, people have been telling me how much they have enjoyed the show and said really nice things. And people, some people. Some of you guys have disobeyed orders and are trying to get information out of me. But I have to tell you, like.

[Margot]

Yeah, I don't know, get up to somewhere. I love that. Be rebels.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Huh. But, yeah, I've gotten some good questions as well that I'm excited to dig into. But overall, though, it's been really great. I haven't had any, like, hate or anyone trying to.

[Margot]

Right. Well, Kyle has sent me some of those questions that we're gonna answer on today's episode. But before we get into sort of answering your questions, I posted a AMA for Kyle and I on the datemypod Instagram last night. So if we do another one of these, that's where I'll be posting on the datemypod Instagram on the stories. And it's just like a question box. And that's where you can submit your questions for now. But before we get into that, let's catch up. I've moved to Orange County. She has Irvine to be specific. And I wanted to give kind of an update on that and why I moved and then I want to catch up with you. So for me, you guys, I moved to Irvine. So far, so good. I really love it. I moved there at this point, like two weeks ago, and I started working for Annie Elise, which is really fun because when I kind of posted a teaser from my office in her studio, a lot of people were like, oh, my God, I love Annie Elise. I listen to her podcasts all the time. If you don't know who Annie Elise is, Annie is a true crime podcaster and YouTuber and she is just one of the coolest people I've met. She's a hustler. She's super entertaining. If you like true crime, I'm not kidding, check out Annie Elise's podcast, which I am now working on behind the scenes. It's a very collaborative team she has, but so far I love it. I love Annie. I love her sister Amy. If you haven't checked out Annie's true crime podcast series, seriously, it's so good. Especially if you love True crime and her YouTube channel, tend to Life, it is also true crime. It's a different vibe, a different feel, but it's. It's like when I watch it, it's like watching a miniseries, true crime documentary, where every episode is a different case and it's just so good. And I love working on it and it's such a good, good crew and team. So, yeah, I lived across the street. I lived across the street from Kyle up until I. So there were like, two main things I was thinking of, if I'm being honest, not living across the street from Kyle and Margot. And then my gym, like 10th Planet Burbank, that's my community and 10th Planet HQ, which I had recently started, also training at, but like 10th planet Burbank, as you guys, if you follow my social media, know, like, that is like, it feels like my family, my community, my crew. I love that gym. I love those people. And that was really hard to leave. I. I've learned everything I know from them within the jiu jitsu community. And my coaches there are amazing. And I've, like, done things that I never thought I'd do because of the people there in that gym. So that was tough. I'll still be dropping in there. It's only like an hour drive. So. Yeah. What have you been up to since. Since I moved.

[Kyle]

Since you moved. Let's see. So much peace and quiet without you constantly needing things for me, which has been great. No, I've been. I've been. I've been vibing. I've been. I've been seeing a lot of friends lately, which is cool. Like a lot of friends that I. That have moved here over the years that I've been like, we've both been really busy and not being able to see each other. We've been kind of seeing each other, which has been really cool.

[Margot]

Okay, good.

[Kyle]

I'm just going out. I've been just doing things that I normally don't do. Usually I'm in bed by 7:30 to 8, but sometimes it hits 8:30, sometimes it hits 8:30 and I'm like, hey. And a friend calls and wants to go maybe get like a little snack, a doodle. I'll go out. It's wild.

[Margot]

Wow.

[Kyle]

I'm gonna dial that back though, because I'm a sleepy boy today because of that.

[Margot]

So how you were out late last night. We won't say why don't.

[Kyle]

We won't say why. But just. But I was out. Yeah, it was fun. Yeah. So just experiencing things. I've got. I'm kind of in this era of my life. Oh, I hate that I just said that. I hate it. Yeah. I hate it when girlies say that. Like the era I'm in this stage of my life where I've basically. I don't know if it's because of what everything. Everything that's happening in the world or not, or I'm just exhausted. But I'm kind of just like, just saying it to everything and just like doing anything.

[Margot]

So it's. You're in your yes era.

[Kyle]

Yeah. So like, honestly, Honestly, if someone were to DM me and say, hey, Kyle, you want to come, like, learn how to horseshoe horses? I'd be like, yeah. Yeah. What?

[Margot]

Really?

[Kyle]

Yeah, like, whatever.

[Margot]

Let's just go horseshoe horses.

[Kyle]

Not with you, just anyone else.

[Margot]

Really. Cuz you're doing jujitsu with me tomorrow. His first private lesson, which is we're also gonna record.

[Kyle]

Yeah. And you're gonna get destroyed.

[Margot]

Okay.

[Kyle]

It's gonna be so unfortunate for you. But yeah, just stuff like that. I'm kind of just out there just living, experiencing, you know, like maybe, maybe I'll take a pottery class. You know what I mean? Maybe I'll fuck around and go to a book club.

[Margot]

Oh, so boring. Everything he said.

[Kyle]

I know. I honestly, I just. I go to the gym, I see clients, I work out, I pet my dog, I walk my dog, I make food, I go to sleep. I do it every single day and I love it.

[Margot]

How'd you feel about me moving away?

[Kyle]

I was Happy for you.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's awesome.

[Margot]

Was there any part of you that was like, oh, that's a bummer. She was across the street and now she won't be.

[Kyle]

Yeah, it's. It sucks because I won't have, like, if I need to go out and Margot needs to be fed or something, you know, I've got Aaron.

[Margot]

So I'm just your errand boy.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah, you're my errand young man. No, I think it's great. I'm like, am I sad that you moved away? I mean, you're an hour. An hour away. You know, it's not like you moved to Colorado or something.

[Margot]

That's true.

[Kyle]

Which, even. And if you had to, that's great. And then I'll just never see you again.

[Margot]

All right, well, anyway. Okay, so what. Before we get into the questions, I want to get into a few things that I wrote down in my notes that I wanted to talk about. Number one being me moving in to my new apartment and getting my cable set up and my cable guy experiencing Jordan. Now, if you don't know Jordan, Jordan is my Jiu Jitsu. I call it my Jiu Jitsu doll, my Jiu Jitsu dummy. And he's just like, maybe I'll edit a photo of Jordan into this video. There's Jordan. Okay, here's Jordan. Here's Jordan. Here's Jordan. Okay, so. So Jordan is my Jiu Jitsu dummy. Now, if you aren't familiar with Jiu Jitsu, you'd probably see this. And a lot of people do, and they're weirded out by it. Okay, it looks weird. It looks like maybe some sort of sex gimp doll. Okay?

[Kyle]

It's shiny black vinyl. Okay? It looks like a guy in a gimp suit.

[Margot]

And it's. It's shaped like a small human, and it's the size of a small human. Me. It's the size of me.

[Kyle]

Let's just say when. When it showed up at our front door when she used to live here, I was very uncomfortable with it being in the house.

[Margot]

He was. So, anyway, so I move into my new place, and I, of course, bring Jordan. And I have a garage now, so I'm putting all my jujitsu stuff in the garage. My plan is to make a little jujitsu gym. But it was, like, the second day I'd been there, and I was still organizing stuff. So the cable guy was coming over to hook up the cable, and I saw Jordan sitting out, and the guy. I got a notification that he was like, a Minute away. I didn't have time to bring Jordan into the garage, whatever. So I just was like, I know he's going to see Jordan and be scared. So I picked up Jordan and I just shoved him into my closet in my bedroom. Mind you, there were boxes. I hadn't unpacked anything. So there were boxes in the closet in my bedroom. So when I shoved Jordan in there, he was like this. In the closet. So the cable guy comes over, and he's like, in my living room. And I'm like, oh, yeah, this is. He goes to hook up, like, the wifi or whatever, and I'm like, let me know if you need anything, because I don't want to be, like, hovering over him.

[Ryan]

So.

[Margot]

So I, like, go in the corner, and I'm on my laptop. I don't know where the hookups are. I'm assuming it's in the living room. Cable, wifi, like, do it in the living room. So I'm not watching him. All of a sudden, I hear a horrified, just shocked scream coming from my bedroom.

[Kyle]

That poor guy.

[Margot]

So I immediately look up, and the cable guy is nowhere to be seen in my living room. And my immediate thought is, oh, no, he's in my bedroom, and he has opened up my closet. And I was right. I walk into my bedroom, and I see him standing there looking horrified. Jordan has leaped out of my closet. Leaped out, because you open the door, and he just leaps out. And now he's like this. And the cable guy's standing back, and he's staring at him in shock. And you can tell he doesn't want to touch him because he thinks he's a sex doll. 100%.

[Kyle]

It is a sex doll.

[Margot]

It's not a sex doll. It's a jujitsu dollar. It's a jujitsu dummy. He thinks it's a sex doll. And he's standing there horrified, and, you know, like, he doesn't know what to say or do. And so I come in, and I'm. I'm like, oh, I'm so sorry. Like, laughing and trying to. Like, there's no way to make it better. Because no matter what I say, he thinks I'm lying. I'm like, I'm so sorry. This is so weird. But I do jiu jitsu, and that's actually a jiu jitsu dummy. And he's just, like, looking at me like, no, it's not. And he doesn't want to touch it because he thinks there's sexual juices on it. I'm sure so he's just looking at me like, get your doll off of me. So I come and I pick Jordan up and I'm like, I'm sorry. And I'm laughing and he's not laughing at all. And then I don't know what else to do and I'm panicking inside. So I set Jordan in the corner of my bedroom. And so I'm now in the living room so I can see the cable guy. I can see what he's doing in my closet to avoid any more. It's things. And I see him and every 45 seconds he's like glancing over at Jordan like, I need to get out of this apartment.

[Kyle]

Can you imagine? Like, just having that job, having to go into people's houses anyways is awkward. Like, you're like, like, do you talk to the person while you're working? Like it's already this weird. Like, you're in my house, you're in my space, and then you see someone's freaking sex doll.

[Margot]

It's not a sex doll. I was so uncomfortable. I felt so, so bad.

[Kyle]

It's a sex song.

[Margot]

No. And I know that's what he thought.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Why does it have a dildo on it? It's. Huh.

[Margot]

It doesn't have a dildo on it.

[Kyle]

It doesn't have a dildo on it. But it could anyways. Yeah. Could you imagine this poor guy? He's just coming to. Small, little, like blonde haired, four foot, one girl is in her house. Oh.

[Margot]

And I said too. And I really tried to lighten it up. And he was like, okay, I'm all set. Like, packing up as fast as he could. And I was like, sorry about the jujitsu dummy. And he was just like all good and got out of there as fast as he could.

[Kyle]

The minute he got in his car, he either called his boss or all of his friends or his wife. You will, you know that he'll never. I want to make this clear because we've talked about this before. You know, it's like a nice thing to say to someone if they, if they're feeling embarrassed. Like, don't worry. Like, no one's ever going to remember that. That's one of those moments that he'll never forget that.

[Margot]

Well, if I were him, just Google jiu jitsu dummy and it's gonna come up. And I hope that's what he did.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

It was humiliating and embarrassing, especially because Jordan leaped out and because he was shoved in the closet. If he was just sitting out.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

If I would have Known the hookups were in the closet. I would have left. I would have left the door open to make it not look shady.

[Kyle]

Right, right.

[Margot]

Or I would have left Jordan sitting. Sitting out and been like, by the way, this is my Jiu Jitsu dummy.

[Kyle]

That's what you get. Honestly, I hate that stupid dummy. And I have ever since you brought it over here. It's driving me nuts. I'm glad that happened now. You learned a lot.

[Margot]

Anyway, so that was embarrassing. Now we're going to talk about really quick, your vision. I was walking around the neighborhood with Kyle before I left, and he said something very serious and interesting. Kyle, talk about the elderly woman he has to save who walks around her neighborhood or his neighborhood.

[Kyle]

Now, when I walk, I have the wildest thoughts sometimes. And I don't know why I told you this, because now it's here and now it's embarrassing. And I don't know if I feel this anymore, but I just. I see this old lady walking down the street every day, and she's just. She's obviously someone's grandma. She looks like she could be 900 years old. I have no idea how old this is, but she walks with her walker by herself, like. And I see her all the time around the same route for her.

[Margot]

That's awesome.

[Kyle]

No, it's great for her, but those bones are barely keeping it together. Kyle. What?

[Margot]

How do you know Jessica.

[Kyle]

If the wind blew correctly, she would shatter into pieces. She's so tiny and frail. So every time I'm walking with Margot. I don't know, I just had this idea popped up in my head. Because she's always alone, this idea.

[Margot]

He called it a vision.

[Kyle]

Whatever I feel. This is insane. Now that I'm saying out loud, I feel like I'm gonna have to save her one day. I'm gonna come around a corner, and she's gonna be, like, on the ground, and I'm gonna have to pick her up, and she doesn't speak English.

[Margot]

Pick her up and do what?

[Kyle]

Take her. I'm gonna have to, like, take her to. I'm gonna have to try to translate to what's happening and try to take her somewhere, because first off, walk with your grandma.

[Margot]

You know, how do you know that someone's grandma. She could just be an elderly single. Like, I'm gonna be lonely. Elderly bones are breaking.

[Kyle]

Well, I hope that when your brittle elderly bones are walking around the neighborhood and you need some help, a young, strapping young lad like myself saying, saves you.

[Margot]

You didn't save her.

[Kyle]

I'm Going to have to.

[Margot]

It's a vision, okay? I hope you don't manifest that.

[Kyle]

But mark my words. Mark my words. If we do, like, a bunch of episodes of these, you'll see. I'm gonna swoop her up in my arms and I'm gonna say, it's okay, babushka, I got you.

[Margot]

So creepy. I wouldn't. And she's gonna say, put me down.

[Kyle]

She looks like she's been hardened by the world. Like, she's seen every war.

[Margot]

Okay.

[Kyle]

She looks sweet, though. I bet she cooks. I bet she. I bet there's, like. I bet she makes, like, a baklava or some pastry that I've never heard of. Like, nobody's business.

[Margot]

Speaking of war, Kyle, I still have.

[Kyle]

I've got drafted and. What do you mean speaking? What are you talking about? This is the worst. What are we. What could we possibly be transitioning into?

[Margot]

Speaking of. I've joined the Navy SEALs.

[Kyle]

I'm joined the Navy SEALs.

[Margot]

Speaking of war, I joined the Navy SEALs. No, but I kind of am. Speaking of war, I'm preparing. Speaking of work, I have left some things. Kyle's the most dramatic person. I've left a few books. I've left a few things here. I have a few things across the street. I still need to move, and I'm still getting some things delivered here. Or I, you know, I placed orders and then they still got delivered here, and I placed this order a few. Probably a month ago.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

So what's the issue with my order? It arrived here and I said, kyle, will you open it to see what it is? And.

[Kyle]

Oh, you know what? I'm glad you said that. Real quick before I show you what you ordered. You're right. You do have a lot of stuff here, and you do get a lot of packages here. I just realized that I pay rent for your storage and P.O.

[Margot]

Box. Not anymore, Kyle. I pay rent now for my storage in my P.O. box.

[Kyle]

Why am I still getting.

[Margot]

Because I placed an order a month ago when I was gonna.

[Kyle]

I get. I get a parcel pending locker notice where I go down there, and every time I'm like, I didn't order anything. I go and pick it up and I feel the package, and it's some tubular lotion or cream. The amount of creams that you get delivered is out of this world. But anyways, back to Jessica going to war. This is what we have here. We have a Navy seals bug in guide.

[Margot]

You know, I saw. This was a TikTok buy. This was a TikTok buy. Let's open it together, shall we? An unboxing of sorts. This is called a Navy SEALS Bug in guide. Now, I don't know why TikTok. This came up in my algorithm, but thank. Thank heavens it did, because what does this book cover? You'd think that you'd think this was a sponsor. It's not this book. I am now a single woman who lives alone. I have cameras, okay? I have security cameras and I have a whole lock system, so just don't even try.

[Kyle]

Just put your sex doll on the couch and know anyone who breaks in the house is going to turn right around.

[Margot]

I'm a single woman who lives alone, so I thought, I have a garage.

[Kyle]

Now, how would you tell everyone that? How? Like, now they know that you're a single woman that lives alone. If I was a crazy person and I was obsessed with you, and I heard you say that they have no.

[Margot]

Idea where I live. Kyle.

[Kyle]

I'll tell them. So.

[Margot]

Okay, so basically my thoughts were, oh, there are things I need to have covered that you would have had covered when we lived together. For instance, an earthquake kit. Okay. A. Oh, shit bag. Where, like, if we've got to evacuate like we did the fires, you know, with minutes notice, I grab this bag. And also things that I'd like to start doing. I have a garage now, which is exciting. Will that be my Jiu Jitsu practice area? Yes. It will also be most likely where I stock many of my things in case I need to survive the end of the world. Am I losing my mind?

[Kyle]

You're not.

[Margot]

Am I losing my mind?

[Kyle]

I've been wrong before. I told her that she. When she joined Jiu jitsu. It's gonna last two weeks, and it's gonna be gone, but I'm gonna go out on another limb and say, you're never gonna open this book.

[Margot]

Yes, I am.

[Kyle]

Oh, really?

[Margot]

Wrong again. Wrong again. Now what this covers, ladies and gentlemen, which is so exciting. Again. Found it on TikTok. Oh, opening strong with a man with an eagle on his arm. Tell me that doesn't make you want to survive whatever's gonna happen next, you know? Now, I don't know why there are photos of food, but I'm gonna learn once I. I bet these are non perishable things. Like non perishable items. Other important things to keep in mind as far as food goes. Let me tell you something. If anything happens, it's just a recipe.

[Kyle]

Book, but it looks really badass, like, oh, end of the world, Chile. Interesting.

[Margot]

If anything happens, medical items to stockpile. If anything happens, she's good to go, I'm good to go. I'm going to have like, I'm going to be the house and the place you want to come if something bad happens and we don't know what the state of the world. But let me tell you something. I'm going to be ready, right? And I'm going to be ready because of a Navy SEALS bug in guide sponsoring this episode.

[Kyle]

And while the world ends, she'll also be working on her relationship status. Independent Enough. A book about relationships.

[Jessica]

You just realized your business needed to hire someone yesterday. How can you find amazing candidates fast? Easy. Just use Indeed. Stop struggling to get your job post seen on other job sites with Indeed sponsored Jobs. Your post jumps to the top of the page for your relevant candidates so you can reach the people you want faster. According to Indeed data, Sponsored jobs posted directly on indeed have 45% more applications than non sponsored jobs. Don't wait any longer. Speed up your hiring right now with Indeed and listeners of this show will get a $75 sponsored job credit. To get your jobs more visibility at indeed.comkidsandfamily just go to indeed.comkidsandfamily right now and support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast. Terms and conditions apply. Hiring Indeed is all you need.

[Ryan]

Hello, it is Ryan and I was on a flight the other day playing one of my favorite social spin slot games on chumbacasino.com I looked over the person sitting next to me and you know what they were doing? They were also playing Chumba Casino. Coincidence? I think not everybody's loving having fun with it. Chumba Casino is home to hundreds of casino style games that you can play for free, anytime, anywhere, even at 30,000ft. So sign up [e-mail] to claim your free welcome bonus. That's chumbacasino.com and live the Chumba life.

[Kyle]

No purchase necessary.

[Ryan]

BTW, terms and conditions 18 plus.

[Kyle]

I just found this in a drawer. I don't know what this is.

[Margot]

I got this when we were going through our breakup.

[Kyle]

Okay, well, it obviously didn't help. Worst book ever. Whoever wrote this.

[Margot]

Larry, that's not true. I didn't read this, so maybe.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Margot]

Maybe I should.

[Kyle]

Maybe that's what it.

[Margot]

Oh my. My therapist told me to get this. I'm sorry, Catherine, I haven't read it yet. Oh, she told me to get it a long time ago. But this is about. In our culture, being independent is highly valued, but being totally independent is impossible. So this was probably her. Yeah. I should have read this.

[Kyle]

I knew that you were sick.

[Margot]

I should have read this, right? And it's.

[Kyle]

And then I found in another drawer today, it's like, how much stuff do you have here that I don't know about? Non Stop Jiu Jitsu number one. I have a problem with this title because, like, why does it non stop? Like, what are you talking about? Non stop?

[Margot]

I got books at the beginning of Jiu Jitsu, okay? I don't. I got this I needed to learn. Have I read it? No, but there are so many good pictures. Granted, it's gi. And that's fine.

[Kyle]

Take it with you.

[Margot]

Because a lot of the things are the same, but non stop Jiu Jitsu. And it's not some Jiu Jitsu. It's not a little bit of Jiu Jitsu. It's not even daily. It's Non Stop Jiu Jitsu. So I'm gonna be taking this as well. Won't read it, but yeah, I know. Okay, moving on to the actual questions.

[Kyle]

If anyone's even still here, you know, we're talking to nobody.

[Margot]

Okay, wait, hold on. I've been listening to the podcast, the telepathy tapes, okay? And it's just so fascinating. Listen to it. The telepathy tapes. It'll open your mind. I've already known all these things. I have to say. I'm not going to get into it this episode, but I know you didn't.

[Kyle]

Know any of this.

[Margot]

I knew all this. I knew that. I know there are aliens. Duh. I know. I believe there are multiple universes. You've known this? I believe in parallel universes. I even wrote the concept of a TV show. I didn't tell you this. No, I remember the waking state. The last episode of the Telepathy tapes talks about the. It's called the something state. And it's about in your sleep and what you're actually doing. No, I like, it's fascinating. My theory, we won't even get into this. But like, us as humans, you know, when people are like, oh, it's so.

[Kyle]

Crazy, we won't even get into this. But my theory, you know, us as.

[Margot]

Humans, you know how people are like, oh, my gosh, the Simpsons predicted this. And it's so crazy that this is happening just like this movie and this and this. We. The thing that's gonna. We're gonna find out in the afterlife or whatever, we already know everything as humans. It's just sourcing it. It's just finding it.

[Kyle]

Oh, very Thirsty.

[Margot]

I'm gonna take a video of this and I'm gonna insert it.

[Kyle]

Oh, it's too late.

[Margot]

It's too late.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Margot]

Oh, sorry. Angel. Margo May. She's on my socks. If you can see her. Yeah, okay. Us as humans, we already know everything. It's just accessing it, whether or not it's in our brain, whether or not it's like we already know the answers, but they're conditioned out of us. We can access telepathy. We can access maybe these, like, universes existing among us that we can't see. I'm going crazy. I'm losing my mind. I gotta stop Margo's cough.

[Kyle]

Oh. I'm very concerned about how this episode has taken a turn. I didn't think we were gonna go here. Now we're talking about you. We looked at your preparation for the end of the world book, your non stop jujitsu, your relationship. We didn't read it. Now you're telling me about a theory that you. That you've always known that by the way, then didn't bother to tell anyone else that we already know everything and that we can access it. Yeah. Yeah. Okay. This is for another podcast?

[Margot]

Yeah, it's for another episode. I am mentally ill.

[Kyle]

Okay. I told you.

[Margot]

So all of that to be said. I'm going to see if we can be telepathic for a moment.

[Kyle]

I'm not doing this again.

[Margot]

No, we're going to do it. Okay, ready? So I'm going to think of a word.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

And on the count of three, we're going to say it and it's going to be the same word and it's going to be so cool.

[Kyle]

Okay?

[Margot]

Okay. Really tap in though. Any word.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

Okay, hold on, let me think of it. Okay, wait, hold on, let me think of it. Okay. Okay.

[Kyle]

Okay, here we go.

[Margot]

Do you have yours?

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Margot]

Okay. One, two, three.

[Kyle]

Margot.

[Margot]

Okay, let's try it again.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

One, two, three.

[Kyle]

Boy.

[Margot]

Okay, are we. Are we going off of the same thing? Okay, now stem and boy. Okay, so let's go off of boy.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Not telepathic. Let's say the thing I want you to say. Okay. Yeah, let's try that. Let's go off of boy. Ready? Ready? Yeah, go ahead.

[Margot]

Okay. Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on. Okay. One, two, three.

[Kyle]

Boys.

[Margot]

Okay, let's go off of blonde.

[Kyle]

Okay. Okay, ready? Okay.

[Margot]

Jail.

[Kyle]

Go ahead.

[Margot]

Okay, we'll go off a blonde.

[Kyle]

Blonde.

[Margot]

One, two, three.

[Jessica]

Pubic.

[Kyle]

Hair.

[Margot]

Pubic.

[Kyle]

But you said hair.

[Margot]

We're getting closer. We're getting Closer to telepathy.

[Kyle]

To telepathy. Okay.

[Margot]

To telepathy.

[Kyle]

So we're on pubic.

[Margot]

We're on pubic hair.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

No, no, no. We're on hair.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

Okay, ready? I know you. We've got this one.

[Kyle]

We've got this one, right?

[Margot]

Hair.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Yeah, yeah.

[Margot]

One, two, three.

[Kyle]

Braid.

[Margot]

Are you kidding me? Braid.

[Kyle]

That's pretty good.

[Margot]

Okay, brush. Okay, okay, okay, we've got this one.

[Kyle]

We got this. We got this.

[Margot]

Okay, ready? One, two, three.

[Kyle]

Blow dry. What?

[Margot]

It.

[Kyle]

You don't toothbrush.

[Margot]

You're not telepathic and this is on you.

[Kyle]

You don't toothbrush your hair.

[Margot]

Yeah, but like, brush, toothbrush. We're gonna try it.

[Kyle]

Okay, One more time. Toothbrush. Ready?

[Margot]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Ready? Ready.

[Margot]

You've got. If you don't get this, I'm sick.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God.

[Margot]

Sickening in your.

[Kyle]

Okay. All right. Ready.

[Margot]

Okay. One, two, three.

[Kyle]

Dental floss.

[Margot]

It. Fuck it. No, it. You're not telepathic. You don't have the gift. I have the gift. I have the gift. Okay, we're getting into the questions. Oh, I'm gonna tell you riddle really quick. I'm gonna see if you could guess it, then we're getting into the questions. Okay? Okay. Ready?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

Okay, so I'm gonna see if you guessed the riddle. A dad and his son get into a car accident.

[Kyle]

A dad and his son.

[Margot]

Okay, don't repeat.

[Kyle]

Okay, okay. Sorry, I'm kicking.

[Margot]

Just let me.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

A father and son get into a car accident.

[Kyle]

Okay?

[Margot]

The son is rushed to the hospital as is the father.

[Kyle]

Okay?

[Margot]

Both rushed to the hospital together. They're in critical condition. On the operating table. The surgeon sees the boy and says, I can't operate on this boy. This is my son, who is the surgeon.

[Kyle]

Okay? So. Dad. Father. I'm sorry. Daddy. Father. Mommy. All right. The. The dad and the son get in a car accident. They're both rushed to the hospital because.

[Margot]

They'Re in critical condition.

[Kyle]

Critical condition. On the operating table, the surgeon comes and says, I cannot operate on this. This is my son. It's his mom.

[Margot]

Have you seen this?

[Kyle]

No.

[Margot]

You haven't seen this on TikTok?

[Kyle]

No.

[Margot]

That's good.

[Kyle]

It takes two people to make a child.

[Margot]

That's good. That's good. Okay. I. My answer. You know how I answered it?

[Kyle]

What?

[Margot]

I said he has gay dads. So you're homophobic.

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah. That's what.

[Margot]

Not against women, but you're homophobic. I'm apparently against women, cuz. Why wouldn't I?

[Kyle]

Guess his mom, you know, what hot take. I think only women should be able to be surgeons, and here's why. Soft hands, nimble hands, caring hands, Karen. Caring hands. Attention to detail. Like women are. Right. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Listen, listen. And you know this about me. Tell. This isn't true. How many times have you seen me try to do something very softly and it doesn't work out? And then I just couldn't cram it? That's how I would be as a surgeon. I'd be like, oh, I'd miss the artery. I'm gonna miss it again. I'll just cut it then. A woman wouldn't do that.

[Margot]

A woman would be like, you're crazy. No, no. Any surgeons would do that. You're just a crazy person and you shouldn't be a surgeon.

[Kyle]

I think women should be surgeons because they're more delicate and.

[Margot]

And a lot of women, also, women are surgeons.

[Kyle]

They're not. And that's why. And that's why that riddle is hard, because no one thinks of a woman as a surgeon.

[Margot]

Women are. I know. But no, it's crazy because a lot of people are, like, dumbfounded. They're like, well, who is it? Is it like. A lot of people are like, oh, gay dads. It's like, no, his mom's the surgeon.

[Kyle]

She's a surgeon for sure. See, I care about women and I think don't care about the gays, though. I believe in quality in the workplace for gays and women.

[Margot]

Oh, that's a question. Which is a great question. We're going to get right into it. One of the questions were one of my DMs, and then one on here, which I won't scroll to because it's basically. This doesn't make sense. You both are best friends now. Is one of you gay?

[Kyle]

Yes. And it's me. No, we're best friends now. We were best friends then, too.

[Margot]

Yeah, exactly. And that's a good question. Is asking like, oh, is one of you a more.

[Kyle]

I understand that question, though, because seemingly from the outside, it's like, you guys have such a great rapport. You know each other so well, you've been together so long, there was no issues in your relationship. You were going to get engaged. There has to be something wrong. And I think that line of thought makes people feel just like, oh, there has one of them's gay or whatever makes them feel better that they don't. That because this situation, like, if they put a lot of people, put themselves in. In other people's situations, I Think it makes them feel better that there is a solution. Because if there's not a solution, that's scary for them that like, oh, this could happen to me, like. And yeah, I have no explanation.

[Margot]

And this is going off of that. And I won't read. If you guys don't agree with this, let me know. But I never. On the old podcast I was on too, I never read the handle because especially when talking about relationships, some of these might. You guys might want it to be anonymous.

[Kyle]

Just keep it. I keep it anonymous.

[Margot]

Yeah. So this is in that vein. Jess, are you considering non monogamy or same sex relationships? So I am not a lesbian. And that's simply because I'm not. What fooled me. I'm not a. I'm not sexually attracted to women. I. Which I guess is not. I don't know why I said that. Simply because I think women are beautiful and I appreciate a woman and like friendships and relationships. I'm not sexually attracted to a woman. And where I look at women and I go, oh, that could be like such a great partner for me or a great life partner. The sexual attraction is to men. And that is just like facts, you know, that's just like the vibe. Because that is how I. Because like, really, let's talk about it, right? Like my view, because the non monogamy thing is a good one, I want to go off, I want to address the non monogamy though, because I. My answer to that is I don't know about non monogamy. And that is, that's one of the main things I talked about with Kyle and I mentioned it on the date my podcast is. I don't know if I am meant for a traditional monogamous relationship. Those thoughts within me change all the time. But sometimes I see, I see the benefit and I see the attraction of a life partner and you're with that person forever and like romantically and you're monogamous. And I see that. That's like, I want to know your viewpoint on it because you have a really beautiful viewpoint. When we were together, I started thinking like, is this. Are there really people out there who think like, oh yeah, this is going to be my partner forever, sexually and intimately and just period. And that's what I want and that's what I love. And you are one of those people. I'm like, or are we all just pretending? Like, obviously affairs happen. So, like people are thinking like, oh, I want to be with. With. I don't want to be monogamous, but are people really in monogamous relationships who are like, I, this is my person. I want to be with this person, but I want to experience other people too. And maybe not all the time, but like, if I have a connection, if I make a connection with someone in life, as long as they understand I have a life partner, I want to be able to explore that connection. And to me, that interests me. I'm not saying it's right or wrong. I may experience that in a relationship once or and be like, ooh, that was not for me. Or maybe my partner does that and I just feel yucky or whatever. But it was big enough for me. Just that question. And there were other aspects we talked about. I mean, I don't even know if I meant to be a mom. Like, there's so many things. But there are other aspects we talked about. But that was big enough for me where I was like, I don't know. I don't know the answer to that. And if we get married and I know you want a fully monogamous relationship, I. You don't deserve to have a wife who's like, okay, yeah, I'll marry you because it's easier. Because it would have been easier. Like, we're best friends. All the reasons why it would have been easier. You didn't deserve someone. And I really thought about this. We talked about it. I talked to my therapist about this. You didn't deserve someone who didn't know. And I asked Kyle, I'm like, you never think about experiencing other people or. And he was like, no, that's not. And I just thought it was like a universal thing. So. Yeah, I don't know if I'm built for a monogamous relationship. I might look back at this video a year from now, 10 years from now, and be like, oh God. She was really, she was really thinking it was something it wasn't.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

So anyway, what are your thoughts there? Because like on monogamy and like you have a really clear sort of mindset.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I'm kind of two brained about it because there's the, there's like my analytical, critical thinking brain of like, okay, I'm an animal. The animal kingdom is right with const. Like, like if we go down to our lizard brain and like, like that, like our, our subconscious, like, like lizard brain, it wants to procreate and it wants to breed without feelings or attachments or. Because that's why humans exist and that's why we'll continue to exist is because people continue to mate. And obviously an organism Wants to stay around as long as possible. So to do that, you need to make as many as possible. So it makes sense that like a lot of tribes, they're like that, where they'll, they'll. The. The men will. Will make as many babies with as many different women as possible. And everyone raises those babies. And there's no jealousy. That's just how it is. But I was raised in a Western society that on maybe fortunately, unfortunately, but how you look at it was kind of designed under the. The halo of Christianity, which. Which has to do a lot with the family and monogamy. So that's deep in my DNA and in my subconscious just being raised. And I was raised in a monogamous family, and all my friends were. Were in monogamous families, you know, that we knew as kids. So, like that. That you can't deny that that's part of culture and how you are raised and how. And that's gonna, that's gonna flavor how I think. That's one part of my brain. The other part of my brain also looks at the benefits of being monogamous and what I, you know, what I want and for my life and what I deem to be true. Like, I. When I'm. When I put my mind to something and my heart to something, that's all I see. So, like, if there's a woman that's in my life that I love and I want to go for, I don't think about anything else because I'm concentrated on the mission and the journey and the. What we're building together. I don't think about, like, I'm okay with going, oh, you've dated, you've been with a lot of women, You've experienced a lot of women, you've talked to a lot of women. You had a bunch of different flavors of people in your life. You can go ahead and settle down. And I think if I felt like I hadn't experienced that, maybe there would be a yearning there for me. But I feel like if I were to die tomorrow and I were to be faced with, like, what did you experience when it comes to relationships and love? I'd be like, I did it all. I don't. I'm not missing anything. So I don't mind settling down for the right person.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

So the thought of, like. And I gotta be honest with you guys, you'll hear me on this. And we love you. We love women. You guys are great. But from a man's perspective, dealing with you sometimes is very hard because our brains Think completely different. Masculine is very. And women are very.

[Margot]

Right.

[Kyle]

And there's a roller coaster when you're. When you're a man.

[Margot]

Yes, I switch of energy.

[Kyle]

Yes. When dealing with a. A fully feminine. There are. There's a lot of roller coasterness that is annoying to us. I can't imagine having to deal with more than one of those in my life and going out and trying to learn a new person in monogamous ways. I like people who have multiple wives. Do you just.

[Margot]

It's not about multiple wives, though. But I hear that. I'm not. I wasn't ever. I didn't ever. That never piqued my interest. Multiple wives. It was more so about having your main partner.

[Kyle]

Yeah, the main partner.

[Margot]

But that does sound selfish, by the way. I don't. And I'm not judging anyone who does this. I know, I know. Friends and people in relationships that are. Exist this way. They have their wife or their husband and they are allowed to experience. And you would call that maybe an open relationship with rules. Who knows? There's so many terms. So I. It was more. So we discussed like, not discussed. I just said like, I don't know how I feel about it and I don't want to talk in a way that I'm acting like this is what I believe in because like I said, I could experience it with someone and go, this is horrific. I hate this feeling.

[Kyle]

Right. Do you want to. Want to hear a hot take?

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

You can't say nothing is really black and white in life, but we make decisions based on the things that we've seen over and over again. Right? Yeah, that. That's kind of what our truth comes from is like we. In stating those. Those things. I honestly think that if you were to look at people who are in polyamorous relationships and good for you. Go do your thing. But in their heart of hearts, when it's silent at night, when they're laying down their head on the pillow and there's no noise, no distractions and you know when you're starting to drift off to sleep and you're thinking about things and you're really like. Or in a moment of stillness. I truly believe that one of them in the relationship is. Doesn't really want to do it as much as the other and. Or if there was an out, there would be an out. I just. I don't think that that really even. It's fun and it's like the thing to do, especially here in California because everything's so open and experimental. But I Don't think those people. I've never experienced it. I. I've never talked to someone or, or that has done that before that it's ended well and that they were truly happy when it was happening.

[Margot]

I hear you. And that might be the case. I've also had friends who I talked to who have stopped it. I have friends who have. I have a girlfriend back in Tennessee that she and her boyfriend were in a monogamous relationship. They decided to open it up, experience other people. It was fine. It was her idea. He warmed up to it. He became more into it.

[Kyle]

That's what I mean. You warm?

[Margot]

No. But he became more into it and then she became less into it. And they had basically a talk and they were also wanted to try for a baby. And she said I don't want to do. And there's also safety issues. You'd have to be. There's things, whatever that surround it that you need to discuss. And she wanted to try for a baby and she said, I want it to be back to just us. Maybe one day we'll open it back up. And he had to decide if he was okay with that. Which is so wild because like he was the one who didn't even want it and he did. And they're still together and that works. But. And it works for them now. And I don't know if they've opened it back up. But then there are some people who I've spoken to in LA who were like, yeah, I agreed to do it with my partner and then I couldn't unsee what I saw. And it was never the same. And it ruined our relationship.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

And that might be. But I just like, again, it's not just that. It's like, do I. What's the purpose of marriage? Is it. And I think it's beautiful. I'm from a family. My mom and dad are still together after whatever. I think it's like what, 36 years or something. But I guess it's just the questioning of it all because for the longest time in my life I did things because it's what I learned to do. It's what I was supposed to do. I was in these monogamous long term relationships because it's what I saw growing up. It's what I was supposed to do. It's what wasn't weird, it's what wasn't. It's what was accepted. When I finally got to a place in my life where I started to question what do I want? What do I want to experience? And feel and do. And do I believe in this? And I still every day have to question this sometimes when I'm making decisions. Do I believe in what I'm going for and the decision I'm making, or am I making it because it was conditioned in me from my upbringing?

[Kyle]

It's automatic. Yeah.

[Margot]

I had a beautiful upbringing. I'm so lucky. I have. I'm one of five kids. I have two amazing parents. They raised us to think for ourselves. They raised us to be independent, to be hard workers. They also raised us with values and morals that they believed in. And that's what you do as parents, right?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Margot]

You teach your kids what you think is right, what you think is moral. It's also, your parents are just human. Right. So they could teach you things that, oh, this is what to do and this is what's right. And it might not be to you. It was really the past few years and just like, getting to a point where I was like, what do I believe in, truly? What do I want my life to look like? And it sounds so selfish, because it is. But you have to be selfish sometimes.

[Kyle]

I don't think. I think there's nothing wrong with being selfish with your life because this isn't a dress rehearsal.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

And if you're gonna. If you're gonna leave anything on the table, you're gonna regret it.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Jessica]

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[Margot]

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[Kyle]

Step one, go to chumbacasino.com chumbacasino.com Got it. Step two.

[Margot]

Collect your welcome Bonus.

[Ryan]

Come to papa. Welcome Bonus.

[Margot]

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[Ryan]

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[Jessica]

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[Margot]

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[Jessica]

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[Ryan]

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[Margot]

And I can't make a decision. And for me, it was like, I'm questioning so much, and I'm finding so much out about myself just within this last year. Yeah, I can't. And I'm with someone who's so sure of himself. My fiance at the time, Kyle.

[Kyle]

I was like, who are you with?

[Margot]

But at the time, because this leads into the question we got the main question, why did you guys break up? You have such an amazing connection and all this. And, you know, I was like, I don't know so many things. And I'm questioning so many things. That's not fair to get married to someone who is quite sure of himself and quite sure of what he wants. For the longest time in our relationship, and I've mentioned this, like, even a year in, we had a talk where I was like, I feel different sometimes I think, am I even meant for traditional relationship? Am I meant for marriage? Am I meant for a baby? And we kind of talked about it, and then we're like, well, kind of. We kind of were like, we'll deal with it down the road.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Which that should have been my sign.

[Margot]

No, but like. And then. But then. Then there were times where I was like, oh, I do want to get married and have a baby. And up and down. So it's sort of. I'm in this phase of my life where I was basically, am not ready for marriage, as you can see. And I'm not ready to be a mom. And you. Are you ready to be married and ready to be a father to the right person?

[Kyle]

For sure. Yeah.

[Margot]

So that's like, the answer. And I know it's not like people don't like that answer of why we broke up. I was feeling those feelings a lot. And after we got engaged is when they really started.

[Kyle]

Real. Yeah. Oh, this is real. Yeah.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Which you did me a favor because, like, imagine if you kept those feelings still down. And then we spent all the money and we got married and we had a kid. Now we got a kid. And it's like, oh, hey, by the way. Yeah, it's not for me. And I go, oh, yes.

[Margot]

And thank God I got, like. I had a therapist and was able to talk to her because I said, you know what? Everyone. I truly thought everyone feels these feelings. I said that to her. And she looked at me and she's like, no, they don't. And she, like, never speaks in absolutes. She keeps it open. But she was like, jessica, that isn't necessarily true. And I was like, oh. And then when we went to couples therapy, and it was like, oh, some things were clear. So I think. I don't know. People don't love. But all of that to be said, we took space afterwards. We weren't like, best friends. And you know what? That leads me into another question that was asked, which was, you guys, we have so many great questions. We're gonna have to do another episode. Okay.

[Kyle]

This is the one addressed to me. Yeah.

[Margot]

Kyle, honestly, after all the years with Jess, were you angry about the relationship ending the way it did?

[Kyle]

The. So I went through all the stages of grief. At first it was like, I heard you out when you told me, and, like, we ate tacos. We. We slept next to each other. Like, you still lived here for weeks after. We were like, oh, this isn't happening. So, yeah, I went through sadness. I went to confusion. I went through anger. But my anger wasn't like I. It was angry. I wasn't angry at her because I. I understood that if this is how she's always felt her whole life, and she was kind of raised in a environment that you don't really question your feelings. You kind of just go along with what is being told of you out of a lot of fear and shame. And.

[Margot]

Can I interject really quick and just say that's not necessarily my parents talking about Catholicism and the Catholic Church.

[Kyle]

But that. But that is gonna. That is. But we've talked about this. Like, having to confess as a young child to a grown person.

[Margot]

Confess your sins.

[Kyle]

And confession out of fear of doing something bad is gonna. Your. As your brain's developing, you have a. A thing of fear and shame.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

That you shouldn't be. Fear, influent. Shame at that. At that young age. But that learning, kind of like not learning how to suppress your truest self out of fear. Because if you think about it, what you just talked about is radical in the monogamy kind of traditional world. Right. So of course you'd be scared to, like, come to terms with that, especially coming from a small town. All that.

[Margot]

Yeah. Is radical. And I will say, I don't think I'm gonna snooze. I don't think it's as uncommon as people want to believe.

[Kyle]

Exactly. But. But yes, to you. It was so. So I was mostly. I. I actually felt. I was proud of you for being like oh, well, this is who she actually is. I guess the anger came from, like. God, I don't know what. I was angry. I don't know if I was angry. I think that's always more sad. I was more just like, I felt bad for, like, young you that had to, like, learn that. I felt bad that it's now coming and now you're. You're dealing with it, which is a good thing. But I felt bad that it was, like, kind of destroying what we were building.

[Margot]

You know, that's okay to be angry.

[Kyle]

Yeah, I know, but I. I honestly, I don't. I was. I was.

[Margot]

Did you feel like it was I wasted all these years on someone who I thought.

[Kyle]

Oh, I. I was saying, it's like, I. I can't be angry at you being who you are. Are you gonna be mad at a tiger for having its stripes? No, that's just who it is. You have to. And because I love you as, like, as the most pure form of two humans can love each other. I loved you that way, and I still love you that way. It's just like, not in a romantic way, but I still love and care for you. So, like, when you see someone who. I know that you were struggling, and I know that you were hurting, and I know that you were confused about yourself, I had come to terms with, like, well, this is. Oh, like, we can't go forward if this is how she feels. But it's not your fault. It's not my fault. It's just an unfortunate circumstance of. Of. Not. Of. Of. Honestly, growth. Sometimes growth is painful. You're. The growth that you're going through right now just had really shitty timing. And honestly, maybe it's not shitty timing because I. Like we talked about, everything that's meant for you will be for you. It was meant for us at that time. But you're having this growth moment now that you're. This isn't for us anymore, which opens me up to be. Have something that is for me and the things that are for you. So I'm telling you, I just, like. I don't know. I can't be mad. I can't be mad at that. Yeah, I don't know how to. I was. Most of the stages of grief were denial in the beginning. Like, no, come on. Like, we can work through this. And mostly just like, sadness and more of like a. Our therapist summed it up perfectly. Kudos to us for. For beating the therapist. She looked at us and was kind of just like, guys, this is just really sad.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

I don't.

[Margot]

Yeah. Our couples therapist, she didn't know. She was like. I mean. And we were honest and we said everything, all of our thoughts, and she's like, well, this is just a really sad situation. Like, I just don't know what to tell you. You're making the right decision because I said I was gonna move out and we were separating and we just wanted to know, is there any, like, what are we missing? Yeah. And she was like, you're making the right decision. And it is like, it's so. It's so hard. And I went through anger and like. And sort of at myself and guilt and, like. And I still think I go through that. Even though Kyle's like. Says what he says and allows me and is like, no, that was the right decision. It's just like, I can't help but sometimes think. And I'm sure maybe this is where the show came out of. Like, I just want him to be happy. And maybe that is. I'm sure there's, like, some guilt within him.

[Kyle]

Like, if I can. If he. If I know that he's good.

[Margot]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Then what I did isn't so bad.

[Margot]

Isn't so bad. And, like, I don't think what I did was bad because it needed to be done right. But it's also, like, I have that. And I truly don't think the time our relationship was so beautiful. And I think that all happened for a reason. And, like, we're out here together and, like, you probably would have never moved to la. And, like. No, I'm probably not.

[Kyle]

No.

[Margot]

You know, and I'm pausing because I was gonna say we share this gorgeous dog together. And she's. I'm taking a photo and I'm gonna insert it right here. Cause she's a angel off screen. She's just. Oh, my God, she's perfect. There's nothing better than Margo.

[Kyle]

Maybe no one's going to care.

[Margot]

I don't care.

[Kyle]

That's fine.

[Margot]

Okay. Anyway. Yeah, I just. I don't even know where. She's so cute. I don't know. There's a lot more to get into. Because people. That's where. Oh. A lot of the questions asked about jealousy, like, Jess, are you jealous when you see these women? Women? And as of now, the answer is a 100% no. I'm not saying maybe that'll change. I don't see that changing. One day, maybe it will. But I. Right now, it's just, like, so deep inside of me. And again, it could be because I Love Kyle. I feel we talk about it. I feel like we're family. It could be just that, like, I want my sisters and brothers to be, like, fulfilled and happy and with amazing partners. If that's what they want. That's what Kyle wants. I want to see him be a dad. I want to see him get married.

[Kyle]

Find a on that, though. What the other way around. For me, I thought about this, like, if you, if you like, you move to OC and like a year from now you're like dating some guy and like, it goes into a serious relationship. Part of me would be like, like, what the fuck? Hello?

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Because you didn't want this and now you want.

[Margot]

There are questions being like, would Kyle, Kyle, would you ever set Jessica up?

[Kyle]

Yeah, I mean, that would. Honestly, that would be difficult for me because it's like, then I would start to question, be like, oh, so it really wasn't you questioning if you believe in monogamy or not? I just wasn't the right, right person. And then that would be like, oh, I have to deal with that.

[Margot]

Yeah. And that might. Who knows? That might be the case. And that's unfortunate. What if that does happen? Right where. Oh, it was the person.

[Kyle]

Right, right, right.

[Margot]

Not that, but like, you. And that's. I'll. I'll. I. We have to log off, so we'll have to do another one of these. But I want to say this. And this is another thing that has messed with my brain a long time. Or this is another thing that has messed with my mindset. And I'm trying to figure out when I met Kyle. We're going to end on the story of how we met.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Margot]

Okay. Because that's how people were asking when I met Kyle within. And I'm not even kidding you, like, and this is going to make some people uncomfortable, but within a couple weeks, I was like, oh, that's my soulmate. Like, I told my mom, I was like, this is my soulmate. Like, done. Like, I just knew it, I felt it. And the reason this will make some people uncomfortable is because, you know, the people who are like, when, you know, you know, I was there. I was like, when, you know, you know and I know and I'm gonna, like, marry this guy. Then, you know, came the within, you know, months or year, and it had nothing to do with him. It was just my mindset on. But do I believe in traditional marriage and this and that? So that is what's been hard for me because anytime I thought, oh, this is my soulmate to Think that and feel that. And then still. And I, you know, part of me still thinks, like, you can have a soulmate, and he is my soulmate, and not end up together. And that's.

[Kyle]

Yeah. I was just gonna say, like, what if, because we were young.

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

We, we just miss Mistook an insane, like, human connection that we probably still don't understand. Like, whether it's our brains or the universe or whatever people want to call it, maybe we have just, like, we want to talk about past lives.

[Margot]

You know, I'm a crazy person. I believe in past lives. I think we are. We've met in every life.

[Kyle]

Maybe we just have this very unique, insane human connection that because of the way we were raised, like, oh, if you're connected with someone that hard, you need to marry them. Maybe. And maybe. And maybe we was took that for, for going into a realm that it never was supposed to. Maybe you're just my family.

[Margot]

Yeah. You know, and that's why, that's what I'm trying to figure out is just like a human is like. And I'm sure a lot of you maybe have the one person or a couple people in life where you're like, I connect with that person so much, and maybe it was either wrong time or maybe it was. Whoever knows? But you're like, forever. I'll be connected with that person. We were just talking about this. Kyle named three relationships that, like, forever. He'll feel connected forever.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Like, I could, like, I feel like you could just, like, pick up where you left off, you know?

[Margot]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

With. With them. And you're, you're definitely one of those. And that's interesting because we've talked about this in lengths, you know, doing this podcast, like, setting me up with girls. The girl that comes into my life is gonna have to understand that Jessica is my family. Like, I'm always going to check up on her. She should be able to come over for Christmas with her family.

[Margot]

Like, oh, that's interesting.

[Kyle]

You know what I mean? Like, I, I, I, I don't imagine I would ever be with someone who's like, I want to be with you and everything's great, but, like, I don't feel comfortable with you and Jessica's relationship, and I'm gonna need you to not see her anymore. Like, that would quite literally feel to me like someone was saying, hey, I love you so much, but your best friend or your brother or your sister, we, you just can't see her anymore. I'd be like, oh, well, then you don't, you don't understand this, and you don't understand me. And I think when you love someone, you also take on their family, too.

[Margot]

I.

[Kyle]

Which it might be insane to say right now, and I might obviously go.

[Margot]

Back on that, but I love and appreciate that as me. Right. Yeah, I hear that. And I'm like, oh, that's so nice. But stepping outside of myself and this kind of happened. We were still figuring it out when Kyle first started dating. And if you want me to cut this out, I will. He was dating someone where he was still trying to figure out how our dynamic should be. So he kind of, like, we didn't really talk that much.

[Kyle]

No. Yeah. It was like.

[Margot]

And I. I was okay with that. And I know people are like, no, I want Kyle to be happy. And I understand. It's not just. I know you compared it to friends or family, but it's not because you don't have sex with your family. Well, I hope you don't. You know, and you know a lot of people.

[Kyle]

Unless it's a hat. Like a step sister. It's not. It's not blood.

[Margot]

So creepy. It's like, the main. One of the main things searched in porn, by the way. It's like step growth. Anyway.

[Kyle]

The world is burning.

[Margot]

Okay. Anyway. But I want to say this too, is that. No, I will not. I understand that it's a weird dynamic, but ideally for me, Kyle's partner, of course, they may say that's a little weird. I'm a little uncomfortable with your relationship with your ex fiance. In that case, I am more than happy. And I'm saying this now, and I truly think I will feel the same way in that moment. I'm more than happy to take a step back, and I will not be offended. I understand that. Give them their space. I shouldn't be there. Anyway, when you're trying to figure out your dynamic with your new partner, I shouldn't be inserted in there.

[Kyle]

No. 100%. What I'm talking about is, like, I should be. You should be able to call me and tell me a huge update in your life. And my partner would be like, who is that? Why are you talking to her? She would be like. I would almost want her to be like, oh, that's so cool. I'm so happy for Jess. That's awesome.

[Margot]

That was ideal, right? Like, my ideal. And this is me speaking selfishly. My ideal partner for Kyle would be someone who. We can all be friends, and I can come over and. This is gonna sound weird, but, like, watch the kids, and it's Auntie Jess and like, whatever, you know, and visit. And of course, that is a very. For some women that might be, like, I'm not necessarily comfortable with that or at first they just need to get to know me. And that's an option which I would understand, but I would say I need to say and like, so people understand I'm not opposed to, like, when. If he already has or when he does meet his soulmate and who he feels like, this is my person. I go, you direct me. I can. Why don't you guys get to know each other? I would love to meet them. But of course, like, you do your thing. I will take all the space because I understand that is just. I want you to be happy and I want you to have your person and I want you to have your family. And if that means taking a step back, hopefully not for too long, hopefully they'd want to meet me and we all become friends. But I understand any dynamic.

[Kyle]

Sure.

[Margot]

So.

[Kyle]

Which I do too. I don't want. I don't want people to think, like, totally count me out because I want Jessica. My life. But ultimately, right. Your partner is the most important. It is. It is the most important relationship you'll ever have in your life. Could you spend more time with your partner than you will with anyone else in your life? They do come first. And if. If they really are uncomfortable, obviously we'll talk about that. As to why. But I really feel like the right person will be. Will see this for what it is. And honestly, I think that it. I think I'm being biased, of course, but I think that it's like a. It says a lot about me as a person to. Who would want to be with me. It's like he's. He's emotionally open. He's not. He doesn't hold grudges. He's. He's. He rides or dies for the people he loves. And he doesn't, you know, he can separate things and still be loyal to. To people that are important to him in his life. Like, I honestly, it's the same energy as if. If, you know, when people get remarried and they cohabitate with kids or whatever, or they're like, hey, my ex is going to come over and pick up the kid. Like, and. And. And the wife's out working, like, and they're like, yeah, totally cool, whatever. Like, that's. It's the same energy. It's just we never took the steps of getting married. We almost did. So it's like you're. You're Just, I want. I want this next partner. Think of her as my ex wife's family.

[Margot]

Ideally, I'd be closer to her, Kyle's wife than him.

[Kyle]

No. See, but that won't happen because I'm not gonna have you guys.

[Margot]

That'll be a vibe and a friendship and I'll be like, it's your problem now, babe.

[Kyle]

No, I'm not coming home. You guys giggling on the couch like, get out of here.

[Margot]

And then ideally, you two have a daughter.

[Kyle]

No.

[Margot]

And it's the three of us ladies against the world.

[Kyle]

Okay, then I'll just move.

[Margot]

I'll just link Margot, who's also female.

[Kyle]

We're done.

[Margot]

Anyway, we can't talk. We have to go because I have to go to Jiu Jitsu.

[Kyle]

But you realize we got to two questions because we talked about.

[Margot]

I know. That's why if you guys enjoy this episode, we'll do another. Gonna watch this because y'all keep y'all. You know. Yeehaw. You all keep dming me about having Kyle back for season two, but he's not coming back for season two. He doesn't get two seasons of dating. We'll see who I bring back for season two. Not brought back. We'll see who I bring on for season two. But I don't think it should be a man. I think it should be a woman or a gay. I don't think it should be a straight man for season two.

[Kyle]

Straight men are just sexist.

[Margot]

It needs to either be a woman or a gay. And do I have someone in mind? Yes, I do. But of course, now with season two, I want your thoughts.

[Kyle]

Let's set Margot up on it.

[Margot]

So if you guys enjoy this, we'll do another one. We have so many questions. We didn't get to which classic.

[Kyle]

But she won't shut up about nonsense.

[Margot]

They won't shut up your bug out book. Anyway, I'm gonna go get dressed for Jiu Jitsu. And thank you guys for tuning in.

[Kyle]

That was fun.

[Margot]

That was fun. I liked it a lot. Thanks for dealing with this audio and video. If it's trash, we don't know if it will be. Check out the date my pod at datemypod on Instagram, the datemypodcast on the podcast platforms, YouTube and Spotify, Apple. Yeah, all the things. And we will talk to you soon.

[Kyle]

Get out of my house.

[Margot]

Bye. Can we show this?

[Kyle]

Yeah, we have to show.

[Margot]

Oh, say bye. Okay. Okay.

[Kyle]

Say goodbye.

[Margot]

Oh, say bye to my honey. That my honey, my angel.

[Jessica]

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[Kyle]

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[Margot]

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[Ryan]

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[Margot]

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[Ryan]

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