Date My: Ex

Summary

The Date My Podcast: "Date My: Ex" – Episode Summary

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Date My Podcast
• Host: Jessica Walter
• Episode: Date My: Ex
• Release Date: January 7, 2025

Introduction to the Podcast and Season In the premiere episode of The Date My Podcast, host Jessica Walter embarks on a heartfelt journey to help her ex-fiancé, Kyle Lampe, navigate the complex world of modern dating. Jessica introduces the podcast's unique format—a 10-episode season dedicated to one individual, termed the "Dater," with the aim of finding them meaningful connections through a series of on-air dates.

Jessica’s Personal Story and Transition to the Podcast Jessica opens up about her abrupt departure from a previous podcasting role, sharing her emotional turmoil and professional investments that led to her sudden exit. At [06:00], she reflects:

"Sometimes we invest all of ourselves into a relationship...and sometimes that's just not enough."

This candid disclosure sets a tone of vulnerability and authenticity, underpinning her mission to foster genuine human connections through her new venture.

Introduction to the Dater: Kyle Lampe Jessica introduces Season One's Dater, Kyle Lampe, her former fiancé of eight years. She explains the unexpected nature of casting Kyle, emphasizing his need for support in re-entering the dating scene after their breakup. Jessica states at [11:41]:

"Season one of the Date My podcast is going to be date my ex-fiancé, Kyle Lampe."

Kyle’s Initial Dating Experiences and Challenges Kyle discusses his proactive yet challenging experiences with dating apps. At [16:27], he shares:

"I've been on so many dates, I've met a lot of really cool people... but it's very apparent that they're just not for me in the first date."

Despite numerous interactions, Kyle struggles to find a lasting connection, prompting Jessica to seek external perspectives to assist him.

Expert Opinions and Feedback: Joe Schmeltzer Joins the Conversation Kyle brings in Joe Schmeltzer, a close friend and business partner, to provide an objective viewpoint on his dating strategies. Joe, a professional fitness coach and photographer, offers critical insights into Kyle's approach. At [24:25], Joe introduces himself:

"I'm a photographer and a director. I specialize in interior and architecture and celebrity."

Analysis of Kyle’s Dating Approach and Strategies The trio delves into Kyle's meticulous but perhaps overly rigid dating methods. They critique his extensive use of emojis and structured responses, which may come across as mechanical rather than engaging. For example, Kyle's response to a dating app prompt reads:

"Yes. But I must warn you, I'm a black belt in karate 🥋💪🏃‍♂️ So no funny business 😂."

At [40:18], Kyle acknowledges the potential pitfalls:

"Do you think I'm like in the kitchen?"

Joe and Jessica highlight how such responses might be perceived as trying too hard or lacking authenticity, suggesting a more relaxed and natural interaction style could be beneficial.

Recommendations and Next Steps Jessica and Joe emphasize the importance of balancing organization with spontaneity, encouraging Kyle to infuse more personality and fun into his interactions. They propose bringing in a dating expert in the next episode to provide professional tips, particularly focusing on improving conversational dynamics and reducing reliance on emojis.

Jessica concludes at [48:34]:

"I think you have great game. I think you have great banter. You're funny, and I think women love that... we are gonna focus on a woman that can give it back to you."

Conclusion and Expectations for Future Episodes The episode wraps up with a commitment to support Kyle in his quest for love, setting the stage for future episodes where Kyle will go on curated dates with potential matches. Jessica expresses optimism about finding Kyle a compatible partner who matches his sense of humor and emotional intelligence.

At [50:58], Joe humorously adds:

"I'm really excited to meet these potential. My potential wife."

This blend of humor and sincerity underscores the podcast's mission to make dating a fun, meaningful, and less daunting experience.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Jessica Walter [00:08]: "I'm so excited we did it, you guys. We're here."
• Jessica Walter [11:41]: "Season one of the Date My podcast is going to be date my ex-fiancé, Kyle Lampe."
• Kyle Lampe [16:27]: "I've been on so many dates... they're just not for me in the first date."
• Joe Schmeltzer [38:13]: "I have a Google Doc for fucking."
• Jessica Walter [29:15]: "Dating should be fun and that, you know, when we met, were you looking. You were single. Were you looking for someone actively?"
• Kyle Lampe [48:34]: "I think you have great game. I think you have great banter. You're funny, and I think women love that."

Key Takeaways:

• Jessica Walter transitions from her previous podcast role to create a platform focused on fostering meaningful romantic connections.
• The first season centers on helping her ex-fiancé, Kyle Lampe, revamp his dating approach to find lasting love.
• Critical feedback from a close friend highlights the balance needed between structure and authenticity in dating.
• Future episodes will feature curated dates and expert advice to guide Kyle through a more relaxed and genuine dating experience.

This inaugural episode sets a promising foundation for The Date My Podcast, blending personal anecdotes with practical dating strategies to create an engaging and relatable series for listeners navigating the modern dating landscape.

Transcript

[Jessica Walter]

Foreign.

[Kyle Lampe]

Hello, and welcome to the Date My podcast. I'm your host, Jessica Walter, and this is season one, episode one of my very first, very own podcast. I'm so excited we did it, you guys. We're here. If you're brand new to hearing my, you know, very calming, very soothing voice on a podcast. Welcome, welcome. I'm glad you're here. We have so many fun things to get into. I'm very excited to tell you guys sort of what you can expect from the season and the show. But first things first, I do want to. I want to address who I think are a majority of the people tuning in right now, who I'm very grateful for. And that. That is my. Those are my loves, those are my friends who know me from the last podcast I was on. And I want to, you know, take this moment to address you guys, because I seemingly disappeared off that last podcast and I made so many great connections. And when I was off of that podcast so suddenly you guys were so supportive and so kind in reaching out to me. And, you know, I miss you guys. And with those connections I made, I think at the very least, you deserve what I can give you as an explanation for why I was suddenly gone. If you have no idea what I'm talking about, feel free to fast forward the next couple minutes and then I will get into what the show is all about and why I'm so excited for it. First thing I'll say is, no, I was not at all expecting to leave. That wasn't the plan, if I'm going to be honest. I thought I'd be at that last job forever. I was, like, ready to be a lifer. Maybe not in the role I was in, but I'll say within the company I was in. I invested everything I had professionally in in that last job and a lot personally. I was investing in a future that I thought we were all on the same page about. So what? You know, to make a long story short, for now, or as short as I can make it, basically what happened is I said how I felt about the way some things were being handled. And the response I got to that was, in my opinion, not good. The response says I got. It wasn't. Honestly, I was taken aback. I was heartbroken at, you know, at those responses. So I sort of found myself in a position where I felt like I had no other option than to choose to leave. And what I'll say, what I'll say. And this goes for any relationship, right? A professional relationship, a personal relationship, romantic family. I Think sometimes we. Sometimes we invest all of ourselves into a relationship and we give it our all. And at the end of the day, maybe we don't get in return what we feel we deserve. And what we feel we deserve can be as small as. You don't have my back. And it can be confusing for people who are like me and frustrating because it's like, all these times I've made you feel safe and I've had your back, and I, in these moments where I should feel the same, I don't. And it's tough. And that, like I said, in many relationships, that happens. And I think just overall, in general, you can invest a lot in a relationship, and at the end of the day, it's just not enough. And sometimes that's just the answer. Like, it's just not enough. So sometimes we have to, you know, make the decision. We can choose to stay on a path in life, in this relationship with this person, with these people who maybe it's not going the way we hope, but we're like, you know what? Let's see where it takes us. And that's okay. And that's your choice, because that's your life. Other people may choose to take a step back and say, nothing here is going to change no matter how hard I try, or, nothing here is going to veer this way or get on this path or whatever, no matter how hard I try, it's not going to. And nothing's going to feel better for me or change for me unless I change it myself. A lot of times that deciding to make that change yourself in certain relationships means leaving. And that sucks. It sucks in the moment. It sucks. Especially in a relationship. You've put so much, so much of yourself into so much love and care and time and effort and all of it. But that's life. And I'm a firm believer that if you're making decisions based on goodness and purpose and future and the betterment of yourself and others and the world, and you could say all of the good things, if you're making decisions based, based on that, you can only be rewarded in the end. And you may be rewarded immediately or further down the road. So that's all I'm gonna say on that for now. What I will end that with is, I am so grateful for everything I experienced, for all the opportunities in my last job, for all of the beautiful moments, the loving moments. That doesn't go away. That's not all, nothing because of how it ended. And I'm so grateful for that. And I Worked hard to be in a lot of those positions. And I won't take that away from myself because I am a hard worker and I will always be a hard worker. That is very important to me. But I'm very grateful for all of that. So moving on. If you are, like I said, if you had no idea what I just talked about, I hope you were able to fast forward through because now we are talking about the date my podcast. Why on earth am I doing a dating podcast, you guys? Well, I will tell you, this is an idea I've had for a while now, but I started vocalizing it a few years ago, a couple years ago. And it has evolved since. My life has evolved. Full disclosure, I'll tell you right now, okay, this is actually the last thing I'll say about my last job. The episode you're about to see. And, and here we actually recorded before I left, my previous job. And of course I had no plans of leaving. I did not know that was happening. So we recorded it, I think exactly three weeks before I left. So there was like a whole trajectory for this show, the Date my podcast that I had to give up, really. But that's okay. Cause look, we're here. We do what we gotta do. One foot in front of the other and we don't roll over and give up. You guys, we fit, figure it out. And here we are. We did it. So why, why am I doing a dating podcast? I love dating. I love everything about people meeting and meet cutes and the human connection. And like I've always, I've always loved and crushes. Like I've always loved that. Ever since I was young, ever since I was allowed to start dating, which I want to say 14, but I was going on movie dates when I was like 12 and stuff. But because of that, because I love love so much, I always found myself in long term relationships. So I didn't really get to experience a ton of dating growing up because from the time I was like 14 up until last year when I was engaged, I last year I broke off my engagement to my boyfriend of seven years. So up until last year I was long term relationship to long term relationships. So there was very little dating in my life. And because of that I would insert myself into my friends and my family, their dating lives and I would, whether or not it was matchmaking them or hooking up two friends or ghost texting for them, it evolved all the way to sliding in the Facebook chat and writing messages for them or telling them what to write on instagram DM all the way to recently where I help all of my friends on their dating apps. I just love everything about dating. But what I've noticed is the past few years, and I don't know if it's because of the dating, the rise of the dating apps and the social media and that's causing more anxiety. I think there's a lot of positives and negatives to both, but I've noticed that dating is seemingly more stressful nowadays for a lot of my friends and family. Anxiety inducing. And I hate that because dating should be fun. Of course, there's little stressors about it and, you know, little negatives, but overall, connecting with people's fun. Having these moments you'll never get again. These first moments that you might be on a first date. This might be the moment you are meeting your life partner. This might be the moment you're meeting, at the very least, a really fun date or a memorable date or a story. Like, how many stories do we all have of dates and first dates? I could go on and on. I just love the concept of dating. I love it all. And I with the show, I not only want to bring the fun back to dating, but I also want to do what I love doing and that is helping people I love in my life find their perfect match. So with that being said, the date my podcast each season will be broken up into 10 episodes where I bring one dater on for all 10 episodes and I try and find them their perfect match. I find potential matches through a million different ways, whether or not it's through the dating apps or in person or a friend of a friend. And anyone who I think would be a great match for the dater, I bring them in. We have first dates in the studio, which you guys will see. They're so fun. I sort of pry and ask. I'll be asking them questions and I'm basically just hopefully going to find some really fun connections. So with all that being said, I rambled. Thanks for your patience. We're going to get into the show, you guys, and I am going to introduce season one Dater. Okay. I don't know why I'm so nervous for this or maybe I'm excited. I don't know. Maybe it's both. Okay, Season one Dater. This is someone who is quite literally one of my most favorite people on this planet. There was a lot of time and care and conversation that went into having this person as the season one dater, because this person was definitely not the plan. When I was thinking about the show and designing the show. This would have been the last person who I ever casted as the season one dater. But again, as my life evolved and as lives around me evolved and I was helping this person date, I was helping this person set up their app and I was helping them matchmaking them. And the more we discussed it, the more I realized not only was he very excited to come on the show, but also, in my opinion, needs my help desperately. So, yeah, I'm very excited for this season one dater. And without further ado, season one of the Date my podcast is going to be date my ex fiance, Kyle Lampe. Hello, Kyle.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Hi, Jessica.

[Kyle Lampe]

Welcome.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Thank you.

[Kyle Lampe]

To the Date My podcast. Please introduce yourself. Who are you, what do you do, and how do you know me?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

My name is Kyle Christian Lampe. I am a soul in a meat suit on a rock shooting through infinite space that is ever expanding if you want to get metaphysical. But if in this human life, I am a professional fitness coach, I am also an entrepreneur and I am a lover of life.

[Kyle Lampe]

Are you?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I know. I love life. Life's sick. Which if whoever is going to end up being my wife through this show, will also get to experience that with me.

[Kyle Lampe]

We're coming in so hot.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

That's what we're doing here.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. How do you know me?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

So I've known you for the past eight years when you used to be my fiance, and before that you were my girlfriend, and before that you were a stranger that I met one fateful night.

[Kyle Lampe]

Mm. Yeah. This is an interesting experience. I am gonna be trying to help you find the potential, your potential wife, love of your life. So I wanna know how you feel about this experience and then what you're looking for.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

How I feel about this experience? Initially, when you brought this idea to me, I thought you were insane and that you were just trying to capitalize on our pain for money.

[Kyle Lampe]

Dragger. Dragger.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Wow. And then the more I thought about it, I thought it'd be a really good opportunity for people to see that you can be really close to someone. And just because their role changes in your life doesn't mean that they have to be out of your life. And I think that'll be cool for people to see. So that's why I wanna do this experiment. And then thirdly, nobody knows me like you do. So if you are going to find me someone I want to be with, I feel like you understand me at such a deep level. You are going to see that in the. In the next person that's in my life. Like, oh, this person's really going to work for Kyle because of this, this, and this.

[Kyle Lampe]

Right?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. I started helping you with. You started setting up dating apps how long after we separated?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Probably, like, two, three hours.

[Kyle Lampe]

Kyle.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No, I'm just kidding. No, no, no. It was. It was months. It was. It was months after.

[Kyle Lampe]

Really?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah. Months. Yeah. Just two, three hours. Better for you.

[Kyle Lampe]

No, really? I thought it was, like, weeks.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Okay, well, that's offensive.

[Kyle Lampe]

Was it? Yeah. Okay. Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No, it was. It was. It was a couple months. Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. You start. You set up a dating profile. It was, in my opinion, respectfully, quite horrendous.

[Jessica Walter]

Uh.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh.

[Kyle Lampe]

So we use, like. Like, he used a LinkedIn type headshot. Right.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Why do people. Can I ask you a question?

[Kyle Lampe]

What? Why do people use headshots for, like, professional. And for, like, professional purposes?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Right. But they also. A headshot shows them really well and shows the kind of personality they would be.

[Kyle Lampe]

I don't think that's true.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Well, whatever. That shot. Yes, he did.

[Kyle Lampe]

He changed. I had him change the photo. It was a very, like, more relaxed photo, and it was nice. Anyway, I was helping him with his dating apps, and then we talk about your dates, and then I was like, you know what I've got. Like, I said, you know, timing's everything. I got this idea, and I think. What do you think about it? So here we are.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Here we are.

[Kyle Lampe]

I think, truly that I. In this experience, my goal is to help you find someone that you could marry and have kids with. I really want to find your perfect match. How do you feel about that?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I think that's great. And what if the eight years that we've known each other is the reason why you. You exist in my life is like, you're like the final boss. Like, I went through. I went through it all. It's like. It was like relationship boot camp. I learned how to communicate effectively and argue effectively and what it's like to be an adult in a relationship and make adult decisions. And now what if your purpose is to, like, pass that torch?

[Kyle Lampe]

That's what I'm saying. I love that outlet. Because what if my whole purpose in your life besides that is, like, what if I do end up finding you your wife?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah. And you know what else is great? If you find me my wife and she's annoying, I can blame you.

[Kyle Lampe]

So true.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Like, oh, my God, Jessica, why did you do this?

[Kyle Lampe]

And also, we could. I would hope we could be friends. We'll talk about that later on down the road. But okay, let's talk about dating. Have you been actively dating? We know you've been using the apps. We know you've been. Have you been hitting up chicks in. I don't know the lingo? Have you been, like, looking at girls and walking up confidently and, like, asking them out?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I would say active is a. Is a one way to say it. I treated this dating thing like I treat everything else in my life with, like, a plan. I'm executing it this way. I've got, like, a set amount of rules that I'm gonna put every girl through. It's been insane. I have been on so many dates, I. Which they've all been good. Listen, I've met a lot, a lot of really cool people. Everyone's very kind. It's just very apparent to me that they're just not for me in the first date. So basically, I've met a lot of women for the first time, and we've had some good conversation, but that's as far as it's gone, really.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, we're going to circle back to putting women through a set of rules because.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oops.

[Kyle Lampe]

What?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Canceled.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, so. So it's safe to say a lot of these dates you say first time have been through the dating app.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh, they've all been through the dating app.

[Kyle Lampe]

Not a single in person you work at. Kyle works at a gym where there are absolutely stunning women. And I always thought it's a gym in West Hollywood and part time. And I always thought if we ever are not together, like, I mean, you've got the cream of the cropper at that gym.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

The cream of the crop are at that gym. But what options do I have? I work there.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yeah.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

So I'm, you know, what, am I going to go up to a woman who's doing a hip thrust and take her headphones off her head and say, excuse me, ma'am, when you're finished with your set, I would like to ask you out on a date that's terrifying.

[Kyle Lampe]

And you'll.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

And then the second thing is, what am I going to wait by her car in the valet and try to ask her? I have no options there. So all I can do is just see these beautiful women walk by that look very kind and nice and say to myself, well, that would have been nice, but I can't do that here.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

You can't ask a girl out of the gym. That's their time.

[Kyle Lampe]

I love this. It's egregious, but also where I can potentially come in to help, which is good.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

So what you need to do is you need to join the gym. And then in between their sets at the Hip Thrust, you need to go, God, you see that, like, trainer over there? He's so cute. We should totally talk to him. That's. That's what we're doing.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

This will be the next episode.

[Kyle Lampe]

Describe your perfect partner.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Okay.

[Kyle Lampe]

And.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Got it.

[Kyle Lampe]

Your perfect partner and a quality that you had in your last relationship that you do not want in your next relationship.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh, okay.

[Kyle Lampe]

Be honest.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

You got tissues ready? Okay, here we go Now. I'm just kidding. Perfect partner. This is. I've thought a lot about this. I actually have a Google Doc.

[Kyle Lampe]

Oh.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

That I won't share with anyone, but it has all my. My requirements. But basically I need someone who's kind first and foremost. I think people underestimate kindness and I think it takes a specific type of strength to be truly kind. And that says a lot about you. If you're how you treat everyone, not just people that can help you is a big sign. So I need kindness. I need someone who is funny. I need someone who can understand the nuances of humor and joke with me and like roast me and riff bits back and forth. That's very important to me. It's like a love language to me. It's like foreplay to me. I'm not going to be into you if you can't make me laugh or get my jokes some funny. Third, I need you to communicate well. I need you to understand your own emotions and have done the work on yourself to effectively communicate those to me. Because I can only be as good as the information that you give me. Third, I need you to take care of yourself physically, mentally and emotionally. I don't need you to lift weights necessarily, but I need you to have some sort of physical movement practice that you enjoy that excites you. I need you to have done, again, done the work on yourself emotionally and figured out what your triggers are and how to do those things. And I need you to also know that your emotions are your own problem and they're not necessarily mine.

[Kyle Lampe]

But are you going to be supportive?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I will be 100% be supportive and I would be there to support you, but I. I just need you to have done the work, essentially, is what I'm saying.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yeah.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Just take care of yourself. And then finally, we have to have matched sex drives.

[Kyle Lampe]

Oh. Spice says, like, tell us more.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

What do you mean?

[Kyle Lampe]

I don't know. Match sex drives. Do you want them to be wanting to jump your bones every day? Like, what are you thinking, oh, no.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I mean, let's. Let's use. Let's be. Let's use our. You know, my brain just shut off. Not every day. I was like, people have to pay bills.

[Kyle Lampe]

I get what you're saying. You want someone. The physical attraction.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yes. We need to be physically attracted to each other. It needs to be like. It needs to be playful. It needs to be like something that we want to do. It should never feel like a chore.

[Kyle Lampe]

Or the juices need to be.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Or it's like, oh, it's 2:30 on a Tuesday. It's sex time.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yeah, I hear you. Yeah, I hear you. Okay. What did you have in your last relationship that I don't want? That you don't want?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I.

[Kyle Lampe]

Be honest.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I'm gonna be honest. I need someone who is organized and has their. Has. Can keep a schedule. For instance, this is a great story, and I'm sure the listeners will love this. There was a time where you had nothing to do all day. You weren't working, you had no responsibilities. And we had an event to go to at night. So you had from the moment you woke up in the morning to five at night to gather yourself and get yourself ready for this event. And just real quick, let's just take a. A listener poll. Were we on time to that event? Absolutely not. Was I pissed? Absolutely. Why was I pissed? Because you had all day. Well, I had a whole day and I worked all day and I came home and I was still ready to go. Now I get what you're going to say. People are going to be like, yeah, but you're a guy. It doesn't take you long to get ready. No, you're right. It doesn't take me long to get ready. But I guarantee you, if I only had to be one place in a day, I would be ready to go at that place. So I need someone like that.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, so you want someone.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Punctuality.

[Kyle Lampe]

Punctuality, yes. Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Organization.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. Not scatterbrained.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No, I can't do it because I.

[Kyle Lampe]

Think in my personal life I'm scatterbrained. In my professional life, I'm very organized.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

You are very organized in your professional life, but in your personal life, you were very scatterbrained. Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, list off some of your red flags really quick. In women. I know we're going to get into all this, but this is very exciting.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Not ever laughing is a big red flag to me. Not being kind to people. That, again, can't do much for you. So, like, if you're At a restaurant or like, like a waitress. Exactly. Yes. Yeah. People that don't. That can't necessarily help you.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Are big red flags to me. And then I, I don't know, there's. There's so many on my non negotiables. I don't know if they're necessarily red flags, but the biggest ones to me I look for on a first date is like, what is your humor? Like, how do you treat other people?

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, I love that. Yeah, for sure. Are you ready to. If we find you the perfect match right now in your life, are you ready to get married and are you ready to be a dad? You are approaching 40, so you are quite ancient. Weren't we not supposed to mention your age?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No, you can totally mention my age. This is the way you said that felt offensive. And that's.

[Kyle Lampe]

You are approaching.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I'm approaching. I am 40. I'll be 40 in weeks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I don't want to be 50 years old with a newborn, that's for sure. So I'm gonna need these ladies to have their stuff together and be fertile and ready to be a mom. You know what I mean?

[Kyle Lampe]

Not fertile. Okay, moving right along. Okay. So I had you, I asked you, I said, Kyle, we need a third person perspective and I'm gonna do this every season. So I said I need you to pick a friend who can come in and who maybe has watched you attempting to date over the past couple months and be honest and, and say what they think you're doing wrong, what they think you're doing right, what they would like to see you with. And I know this season is personal and it's me and this is my ex fiance. But your friend who comes in, who's also my friend might say, like, look, I didn't think you and Jess were a great match and that is totally fine. This show is, to be honest, open. So who are you bringing in for us today?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I'm bringing in a long time friend, client, and now business partner. Partner of mine, Mr. The one and only Joe Schmelzer. I spend more time with him during the week than anyone.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Because now, especially because of our business together and coaching, we talk all. Doc. We talk pretty much every day.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

So I feel. And he's seen our relationship. He met me when I was with you. He's not at all seen at all. I talked to him about all my dates, how they go.

[Kyle Lampe]

Awesome.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

So welcome Kyle's friend, Joe Schmeltzer. Joe, come on in.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Ay, there he is. Look at him.

[Kyle Lampe]

Joe is also my friend.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Well, he was my friend first.

[Kyle Lampe]

Joe, we take the annual Hawaii trip with, and he's the greatest. So, Joe, please introduce yourself. Tell us what you do and how you know Kyle.

[Jessica Walter]

My name's Joe Schmeltzer. I'm a photographer and a director. I kind of specialize in interior and architecture and celebrity and Been doing that for too long. And I met Kyle actually, I don't know, a bunch of years ago, sometime during the pandemic, I think. And he became my personal trainer. I needed a trainer. He was training right by my house, and somehow we just clicked and became good friends. And then we started traveling and doing stuff and hanging out. And now we started a new business together. So, like, we train, we work, we play, we travel, and pretty much he's the only person I ever see.

[Kyle Lampe]

Basically, you guys are besties. So, Joe, thank you for coming. I had asked Kyle, we need a third person perspective, right? Cause he has an idea of what he's looking for.

[Jessica Walter]

And, well, we know he has a Google Doc.

[Kyle Lampe]

He has a Google Doc.

[Jessica Walter]

He has a Google Doc for fucking. I mean, seriously, it's like my text changes. I made a doc. I'm just like, I. I don't even know how to access these Google.

[Kyle Lampe]

We love Google Docs.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

There's a lot of organizations, there's a.

[Jessica Walter]

Lot of Google Docs.

[Kyle Lampe]

We're gonna have to see this Google Doc eventually. Maybe we'll edit a little photo of it in this video. But we need a third person perspective. Cause, you know, I know my perspective. And Joe, he said he's been talking to you about his dates. Tell us why you think so. I think we both agree, maybe not that Kyle maybe thought we were gonna end our relationship and when he started on these dating apps, it would be more organic and you would have less of a difficult time. Is that true? Oh, with these women, I thought I.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Was gonna go in there and just be like, this is gonna be so easy. I'm gonna go in like three or four days. I'm gonna find this. Yeah, it'll be easy because just because of what I had friends tell me, oh, Kyle, you're on the dating apps. You're going to do so well here because LA is trash. Most men here just like, don't know what they want or like. And I was like, oh, well, I know what I want. I'm going to be good, right?

[Kyle Lampe]

So, Joe, you've. You've seen this. What do you think about.

[Jessica Walter]

I knew this from the beginning.

[Kyle Lampe]

What did you Know.

[Jessica Walter]

Well, I just kind of know because like I was in a long relationship years ago, like a 13 year relationship that ended. And it's from when I was a kid. Like I was young and it's like I don't know how to date. And then I was just like. And this was still, this was like 13 years ago, but apps were starting to come out and all and I'm just like, it's total bullshit. I mean, it's just like, especially in la, it's like, it's so difficult. It's like LA in general. You know how hard it is to meet people. It's like. And everyone's like, oh, you moved here from New York, New York, it's so easy to meet people because you're outside with them all the time. You're forced into them in la, you avoid people and you stay in your car.

[Kyle Lampe]

Really? I would think that would be New York. You're right though.

[Jessica Walter]

I mean, New York, you are outside all the time. You're walking to work, you're walking home from work. You go out to eat every night or to somewhere because your apartment's the size of a closet. So you never want to be there. In la, it's like, I feel like you, you have your core group of people and you stay close to your house and no one wants to drive anyway because it's so far that like. Right, so he's saying apps, but then back to the Google Docs thing. Because that was my thought from the beginning.

[Kyle Lampe]

Let's hear.

[Jessica Walter]

It was the kind of. When he started telling me about this, I'm like, oh, what Apple, you're on. You're doing this. Oh. And then I knew J, you, you know, fixed his app or what? But everything, it reminded me of another friend of mine who went through this a bunch of years ago and he had a fucking flowchart, you know, like on his wall. But it's the same thing, you know, it is the same thing.

[Kyle Lampe]

Do you not think that's a good move? Because then you're too picky. Then you're looking for like this specific person who's never going to hit all those qualities. Because some people would say it's manifesting like I'm manifesting my perfect partner with this Google Doc.

[Jessica Walter]

I know, but I don't you think that like most of the time, the successful. It just happens at some time. And I know it's really hard and you want it to happen. I think that's the thing is like you want, you're in this situation you're like, okay, I've been broken up for months. I want to be with somebody. And so you want it to happen so much that you work so hard to try to make it happen that you may either miss what's in front of you or you're making. Taking it too much like a job. Are you taking the fun out of it? Because haven't hit this point. Having hit this point. And it's like, well, maybe this is just a date. Maybe this is just, oh, I had a good time today. And I know we're looking for something, but it doesn't mean that. Am I supposed to not have any fun along the way? Because that sounds horrible to me.

[Kyle Lampe]

That's a great point. Like, dating should be fun and that, you know, when we met, were you looking. You were single. Were you looking for someone actively?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No, you. You just walked into my life. I was just minding my own business.

[Kyle Lampe]

Quite literally. Exactly.

[Jessica Walter]

It's when you least expect it, when you're like, almost. You may even be down about it, like, oh, my God, I can't meet anybody. And then suddenly something random happens. And normally that's like the ones that click to me.

[Kyle Lampe]

Right?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yeah. So the dating apps you're basically saying are difficult. Granted, I'm confident that I can not only find some options for you via the dating apps, I'll probably do it in person. I'll probably. There's gonna be a lot of different ways I do it for this season, which I'm excited about. But do you think Joe, there. The way he's been going about dating right now, is there something that you think he should be doing differently? Is he just.

[Jessica Walter]

Well, it's not just the abs. It's just like, okay, you know what? I'd be like. He'd be like. I'd be like, what's going on? Like, what's today? And he's like, oh, I have four dates.

[Kyle Lampe]

Four dates in one day?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Not in one day.

[Jessica Walter]

Well, no, sometimes it is one day. It's like he blocks off the entire street of Hillhurst. You know, it's like, how many coffee shops are there? Because I'll start coffee. Coffee, Jenny's ice cream. And then, you know, maybe there's some other snacker. Back to coffee, because we're not having a meal because we're not spending money. You know, Like, God, this is like, if we're eliminating.

[Kyle Lampe]

Oh, my God, are you cheap on the first date? There's so much we have to give you.

[Jessica Walter]

I get that. It's not the cheap Thing. It's the like, I can't imagine like scheduling. Like I'm like, okay, one, you know, one o'clock is Vanessa, you know, we'll have flat white and then you know, we're going to it. Then it's like we have to leave that coffee shop because I have a 2:30 coffee shop down the street. And then it's like, oh, and it's summer. It's like it's gonna be late afternoon. Well, I have to have Jenny's ice cream. Cause he eats more ice cream. It's like damn personal trait. He eats more ice cream than any human I've ever met on the planet. He goes to Jenny's ice cream four times a day as well as makes a gallon at home and eats it before dinner.

[Kyle Lampe]

It's like, okay, you're really stacking. And it's like a job.

[Jessica Walter]

Well, and it's like a job. And to me I was like that. I mean, I'm neurotic and crazy to begin with, but I would be stressed to all hell like to do that. And I would find nothing fun about that.

[Kyle Lampe]

Right.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Okay, well, to be fair, let's hear it. I do it that way to be efficient. You're not wrong. But I know myself enough and I know what I'm looking for. That like a coffee date. In the first like 10 minutes of talking to you, it's so apparent to me if we're gonna go out again or not.

[Kyle Lampe]

Right?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

So it's very low barrier for me. It's like, oh, if I like this person, I'll. I'll say, hey, we should do this again. Or like let's. If I really like them, I'll even set up the second date on the date. Like talk about like, hey, I got this thing come up, we should go do this. But that's why it's so low barrier to me. Because my, It's a numbers game for sure.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Especially with. Because I know I am picky and I know I'm looking for a specific thing and I know that's gonna be really hard to do. So to me, I have to meet as many people as possible. Cause the chances of me meeting that person for coffee on a Sunday is very low. I have to meet lots of people for coffee.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. Rotating door, in and out, in and out. Joe, what do you hope that he finds out of this experience? Do you think there is a chance that I find Kyle the love of his life?

[Jessica Walter]

Of course.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yay. I think there is too.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I think that'd be great.

[Kyle Lampe]

Oh, My God.

[Jessica Walter]

And I just. I'm all for this. I mean, it's like, I'm no expert on this either. I'm all. But I'm so. I'm all for this approach. I kind of like that approach of, like, maybe taking. Okay, you did your thing. You're like. You did your flowcharts for a couple months now. Let someone else, you know, and see what the difference is.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yeah, well, thank you. This is. This is.

[Jessica Walter]

But please, let him have some fun.

[Kyle Lampe]

Tell us what you want from Kyle. Just, like, name a couple things. It sounds like, number one, you just want him to have fun on these dates.

[Jessica Walter]

I mean, yeah, I mean, I understand what you're looking for, but I was like. To make it a fun process. Yeah, I mean, I know how he likes to do things, but to. And I am very organized and do things like that too. But I also feel like on some level, I'm like, I want that not to be. It's like, I want this to be a fun experience.

[Kyle Lampe]

Well, great. Well, that is the goal. Thank you so much, Joe, for coming in. And we will keep you updated on all of it, I'm sure.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh, I'll tell you all about it every day.

[Kyle Lampe]

All right, so before we close out, I need to see how much work I have ahead of me, so we're going to see. You know, I know how you were with me, but we were together for seven years, so.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Eight years.

[Kyle Lampe]

Almost eight years. Until I ruined it.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Until you ruined it.

[Kyle Lampe]

We are gonna see where your current game stands, because when I first looked at your dating app profile, as I told you, told you all, it was not good.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

And when one photo.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, it wasn't good.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

One photo doesn't negate a whole dating app.

[Kyle Lampe]

It was.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

The rest of the things I had on there were great. My prompts, what I was looking for.

[Kyle Lampe]

No prompts. Too many emojis. Anyway, so I asked Kyle, screenshot some of your conversations from the dating apps. How do you feel about how your game is right now?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Well, let me just start by saying this. I've been on eight dates in the past two weeks. I mean, are we. If the game was off, would I be reeling these young fish in for a little.

[Kyle Lampe]

Oh, oh, oh, oh. Panicking. But are you going on second dates?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Well, so I've been on a few second dates, but like I said, you know, maybe my game is off. Maybe I'm not. I, I, I, I'm. I'm casting a net that's not catching the type of fish I want.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I Think my game's great. Okay, how about this? Why don't you talk about how we got together?

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I. I crushed it.

[Kyle Lampe]

So what we'll do right now, if you're listening, I'll read it to you. If you're watching on YouTube, there will be screenshots up. So before we get into his current game, we're gonna take a little trip down memory lane. Memory lane. If you'd like to pull out your phone, Kyle, I know you have these screenshots. Yes, the first message messages that were sent between me and Kyle to see if he had game then. So these will pop up on your screen if you're watching. The first message was over Facebook. You guys remember, this was in 2016. Was from me, my thirsty ass. Kyle and I had met once, and then he commented on my Facebook wall, and then I dmed him. Cause I was out and about that night, I said, kyle, so very disappointed you're not meeting us out. And I'm taking the time to Facebook message you. So that shows how much of a big deal it is. He was. We had a mutual friend. She invited him out. You declined to come out knowing I was out. So Kyle's response was, I mean, I can sit here and pretend that I'm not flattered, but that does nothing for me or you. So I'm gonna take that into consideration. If you haven't forgotten, I'm a dad now to a furry little baby girl, and she needs daddy time. Where are you guys? So I would rate your game here. Funny. He's like, I'm out and he's not coming, so you're kind of playing hard to get. I would rate your game here, like, nine out of ten.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Thank you.

[Kyle Lampe]

But as people get older, and we already covered you're quite old. As people get older, sometimes their game decreases. So let's now go to some of your current messages that you have sent to people over the past few months. Let's start with I will say B, because we will cross off the names and the photos. So B, and explain this to me. This is a dating app prompt. Dating app prompt. I've never been on the dating app, so I don't necessarily know what you're talking about.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

And that's fine.

[Kyle Lampe]

No. So what is a prompt? So you get to a girl's profile and then what?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

So you get to a girl's profile, and they either have photos of themselves or they have funny little things. Like, for instance, like my best friend's take on why you should date me, and then they'll put something. And what that does is that entices me to either comment on that. I will say, let me. Let me tell you what I. What I look for in a. I'm. I will never comment on a picture of you in a bikini or, like, trying to be sexy because I don't want to push the message across that. That's all I'm looking for. My favorite prompts to do are you either doing a fun activity.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

An animal that you have.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Or something like. Like one of those prompts where it's like, why my best friend says, you date me. I'll think of something witty and funny to say to that. But I'm never. Just never gonna. Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

So those are the prompts. So now let's get into it. This person is b. The first one we're looking at. Her prompt was my BFF's take on why you should date me. And she said, you're in for a ride with one of those little, like, winky faces.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

Like spicy faces. Kyle responds to this, and he says, why am I equally terrified and intrigued? Is this a quote, have the cops on speed dial situation, or three crying, laughing emoji faces. Yeah. How do you feel about this?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh, I feel great. Because if you just go ahead and just scroll down, like we scroll your eyes down.

[Kyle Lampe]

But how do you feel about this? Because to me, I go, oh, that's a lot of emojis. Well, quite. That's too many.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah. But you're mentally ill, so you look into things that don't make any sense. It doesn't. I. That's a funny response to that, obviously.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. So she says, ooh. He responds to that. And she says, wanna find out? With one of those spicy.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

He's in.

[Kyle Lampe]

He is in. And then he ruins it by saying, yes. But I must warn you, Kyle, this is not good. Yes. But I must warn you, I'm a black belt in karate. Karate emoji. I'm really strong. Strength emoji. And I can run really fast running emoji. So no funny business, exclamation point. Crying, laughing emoji.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

So the reason this isn't gonna work. I'm gonna tell you this right now.

[Kyle Lampe]

What? Is it gonna work?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

You're putting a voice on my responses. The best way would be for me to respond to it how it was in my head.

[Kyle Lampe]

Reread that.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Okay. It goes like this.

[Kyle Lampe]

She goes, want to find out?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I said, yes, but I must warn you, I'm a black belt and karate. I'm really Strong and I can run really fast. So no funny business. Not, not no funny business. Do you think I'm like in the kitchen?

[Kyle Lampe]

But you have to think of how the person is going to read it. That's how I would have read it. No funny business.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Again, Kyle.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, so we are. I'm going to rate. That needs to work. I think too many emojis. I think we're a little too just like quirky. And that's not you.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

But was I in there?

[Kyle Lampe]

I mean, you got in.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Boom.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, next one and I'll have you read your messages.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Thank you.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, Kyle responds to a photo. This is M. And the photo is of this girl rock climbing. And he says, just read it.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I can't get down from there right now.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, this is how I read it. This is how I read it.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Okay, go ahead.

[Kyle Lampe]

Get down from there right now.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

See, that's what I'm saying.

[Kyle Lampe]

And then he puts an emoji. As you'll see.

[Jessica Walter]

He went, yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

And she, she put hahahahaha. And then, I mean, yeah, she laughed.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

And then I said, hey Em, what other life threatening hobbies are you into? Snake venom, tester, shark cage, welder, crying, laughing, emoji.

[Kyle Lampe]

I mean I read it as hey Em, what other life threatening hobbies are you into? Snake venom, tester, shark cage, water shark cage.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I gotta say, the person that lives inside of your head, I want to strangle them. It's so annoying. That's how you think everyone sounds.

[Kyle Lampe]

I don't know how Em responded, but we're gonna move on to she didn't, she didn't respond well, some people we just gotta find a good middle ground because these are like good responses but they're not, they don't feel like you. When I read them, that's that she doesn't know me. And that's the T. Okay, so we're gonna go on to. Oh, okay, we're gonna go on to E. The E girl. Okay, I'll fall for. She put I'll fall for you if you love to cuddle, which is cute. E. And then Kyle responds, let me.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Pull this up here. I feel like this isn't gonna go well. Oh, my body is ergonomically designed for cuddling.

[Kyle Lampe]

This isn't bad because you didn't use an emoji ergonomically though. What are you trying to do with that word?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I'm trying.

[Kyle Lampe]

Well, what are you trying to do?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

What? Well actually, this. That's a great question. If you don't understand what the word Ergonomic is that lets me know that you're dumb and I don't want to.

[Kyle Lampe]

Be with you because I would see this and go, he's trying too hard with the word see.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Maybe this show should be about you.

[Jessica Walter]

What? Let's.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Let's sort of.

[Kyle Lampe]

We're moving on.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

What's going on? Why are you so guarded?

[Jessica Walter]

Huh?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Why. Why are you trying to push everyone out?

[Kyle Lampe]

It switches, I start crying. Yeah, okay. We're moving on to a.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Okay.

[Kyle Lampe]

Her prompt. One thing I'll never do again. Skydiving. Kyle responds. Which, honestly, I'm a little triggered. And I'll tell you why. You read how you respond.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I agree. You only get to cheat death a few times in your life. God knows I have, like, one or two left in me.

[Kyle Lampe]

And then a crying, laughing emoji. And one of the. The worst emoji I. The worst emoji you could possibly use, in my opinion as a man, is the, like, red cheeks, like, smiling. Why?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Let's go ahead and dig into that. What. What is it about showing emotion as a man? That's not good.

[Kyle Lampe]

Triggering. Let's go to why this is false. And I feel you're lying because one thing I'll never do again. Skydiving. I took you skydiving when we were dating.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah. And that should have been my first sign that, oh, this woman's trying to kill me. She's not good for me because you bought me a gift to jump out of a plane, which I.

[Kyle Lampe]

If you stop using so much. You know what? You know what? I can't tell you what to do in my. I feel that maybe. And when your dates are in here, we'll get their opinion. Maybe we should chill on the emojis.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No. Emo.

[Kyle Lampe]

Why do you love them so much?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Because. Well, if you want to go, scientifically, I am a male, and we are very visual, and it is a nice visual touch for us, and it gets the point across. There's some things that emojis can say without you saying. For instance, how about this? Here's a good example. Say, tell me you're going to go take a shower.

[Kyle Lampe]

Getting weird.

[Jessica Walter]

Just go.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Tell me you're going to go take a shower.

[Kyle Lampe]

I'm going to go take a shower.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Okay. Have fun in there. Or have fun in there. Winky face. It's completely different.

[Kyle Lampe]

That's so true. That's so true. And I agree. And I love emojis. I think we're overusing them, and I think we're using the wrong ones. So we'll dig into that. Moving on. S. And this is the last one. So S. Put. Excuse me.

[Jessica Walter]

Huh?

[Kyle Lampe]

Say it with your chest, Kyle. S. Put together, we could. And she put. Yes, chef. Thank you, chef. Now, here, let's see for a second. I have seen the bear, and that is clearly from the bear, the TV show.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah.

[Kyle Lampe]

So she put together, we could. Yes, chef. Thank you, chef. In my mind, I think two things. Number one, she likes to cook. And she's like, together, we can cook, but she's also putting a spin on that prompt. Like. Like she thinks it's sexy. Like, yes, Chef. Like, maybe there's a little role playing in the bedroom.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Like a praise kink or something.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yeah. Oh, what, is he bringing in his new.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No, we'll talk about that later.

[Kyle Lampe]

Anyway, what is your response?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

My response was, well, lucky for you, I love to cook, look great in a chef's jacket, and I'll even do the dishes.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Jessica Walter]

What?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Hey, first off, before you say one word, what woman what doesn't want a man who can cook and enjoys cleaning up, so all she has to do is experience. Mouth. Pleasure. That's right. I said mouth. That's right. That's what food is.

[Kyle Lampe]

Now we're getting somewhere. Okay, you didn't answer. I agree. No, I agree. Here's the thing. Once again, he used two emojis, winky face and the God awful. The God awful. This. This is what it is.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

No, it's. That's not. There's no shoulders. It's this. It's a smile.

[Kyle Lampe]

That's not good, though. Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh, so I'm supposed to be not happy.

[Kyle Lampe]

Here's the thing. And this is my last. You've seen the bear. We watched the bear together. Why wouldn't you say something back that maybe shows you, like. Oh, not only do I know where.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

That comes from, I gotta be honest with you. What did you think this was? After a long day of sending prompts and I was exhausted, I didn't really wanna put a lot of effort into that one. I was just like, goodness.

[Kyle Lampe]

Did S respond to this?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Not yet.

[Kyle Lampe]

Oh, my God. Does this three. What does the three next to the rose mean? What is the three next to the rose, Kyle?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

What do you mean?

[Kyle Lampe]

Did you. Did you buy roses and. I bought some roses and throw three roses.

[Jessica Walter]

No, no, no.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

That's how many roses I have left.

[Kyle Lampe]

Oh.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

A rose allows you. So since you're new to this, a rose, there's certain echelon of daters that you can't access without giving them a rose. You get one rose every Sunday. Every. You get a new one every Sunday, so you only get one. Or you can buy a pack so you can access these upper echelon days. So if you send them a rose, that means that. That not only are you able to message that person, but that rose puts your, like, up to the top. You can also rose people that aren't maybe worthy of the rose.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. Oh, worthy. Okay. Well, I like the rose idea because it shows you're willing to spend a little money. But. But you chaotically throwing these roses at these women.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I didn't chaotically throw.

[Kyle Lampe]

It makes me nervous.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

She didn't. She. She didn't even get a rose for your game. She didn't even get a rose. She didn't even get a rose. The rose. The rose is a. You have to be like. You have to be like, I want to meet you tomorrow.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Like, you've got to be like, wow, you hit all my things. Here's a rose. I really hope you see it's like a Hail Mary.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. Okay.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

It's desperate.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. So look, I'm gonna say real talk. I think you have great game. I think you have great banter. You're funny, and I think women love that. So I don't think we're gonna have to work on that too much this season. I think what I'm going to focus on is a woman that can give it back to you.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh, I need it.

[Kyle Lampe]

Yeah, give it back. Back and forth.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Like, I want you to stump me. I want you to roast me so hard that I go, oh.

[Kyle Lampe]

Understands the word ergonomically.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Yeah. I mean, that's. I'm putting that on the Google Doc, as is a requirement.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. I'm very excited for these women we're gonna bring in. I think there are amazing options, and I think your wife might be in this bunch of women.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I love that. Now, what's the budget for this show? How does, like, maybe paying for, like, the wedding look like?

[Kyle Lampe]

I literally will be your. Actually, let's say it on here. If I find you a wife, can I be the. What's it? Pastor? Is that what it's called? No. Okay. I can't let's.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Your ass is gonna work in the catering tent if you find me.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay. The goal here is to find Kyle a wife and then be able to attend your wedding.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Oh, that's kind of up to my wife, though. Yeah, that's true. Ooh, Maybe you could do. Maybe you could do the whole thing of, like, speak now or forever hold your peace, and you stand up and you go, ah, wait, I made a mistake.

[Kyle Lampe]

Okay, so you.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Nope.

[Kyle Lampe]

All right, well, you don't. You don't know. Kyle doesn't know any of these. These women that I've found. For episode two, we'll have a dating expert come in. We'll have them comment on your emoji use and maybe give you some tips in conversations with these potential loves of your life. How do you feel about that? You don't need help?

[Joe Schmeltzer]

I feel like that's fine. I am. I put it this way. I would love to hear what they have to say. I'm always open to a different opinion, but I feel confident in my abilities to procure a wife. I. If you remember. Yeah, well, sure. But if you remember, we were going to get married, so I feel like I did a pretty good job. Right.

[Jessica Walter]

Right.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Well, oops, it did fall apart, and I don't know whose fault that was, but, you know, so we both cried.

[Kyle Lampe]

Thank you for being, in all seriousness, for being open to this. I think this is going to be really great. You're the best and very excited for next episode.

[Joe Schmeltzer]

Thank you. Yes. Thank you for having me. And I'm really excited to meet these potential. My potential wife.

[Kyle Lampe]

You're welcome.