Episode 4: Ashton

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Date My Podcast" - Episode 4: Ashton

Title: The Date My Podcast
Host: Jessica Walter
Episode: Episode 4: Ashton
Release Date: January 28, 2025

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Introduction

In Episode 4 of "The Date My Podcast," host Jessica Walter continues Season One by setting up an intriguing on-air date between Kyle Lampe, the season's "Dater," and Ashton Swinford, an independent and multifaceted actress, writer, producer, and director. The episode delves into the complexities of modern dating, past relationships, and the quest for meaningful connections.

Meet Kyle Lampe

The episode opens with Jessica welcoming Kyle, who shares that he recently attended a dear friend's wedding in Solvang. Kyle reflects on the experience, noting, "I got to wear my suit for the second time in my life. It was a great time. Weddings are nice." (00:45). He expresses his desire to get married someday, stating, "Yes, I do want to get married. To a lovely young lady." (01:26).

Meet Ashton Swinford

Ashton is introduced as Kyle's date, whom Jessica had met years prior at a friend's birthday party. Ashton captivated Jessica with her strong presence on social media, describing her as "the definition of like a bad bitch. Because she's independent [and] funny." (02:36). Ashton agrees to join the show, unaware of Kyle's past with Jessica.

Initial Interaction and Awkward Revelation

Ashton arrives and the atmosphere becomes tense when she learns that Kyle was previously engaged to Jessica. Ashton remarks, "I thought I told you. I had no idea the premise." (04:09). The revelation adds a layer of complexity to the date, highlighting the intertwined relationships and the challenges they bring.

Self-Introductions and Fun Facts

To break the ice, Jessica prompts Ashton and Kyle to introduce themselves with three facts each. Kyle shares, "I accidentally found myself in a 90s DJ group that started out as a joke that turned out to be a kind of a big deal called D.J. Tanner and Uncle Jesse." (16:14) Ashton reveals her background in film, stating, "I produced a TV show for them called the AV Club." (17:26) Their introductions set the stage for understanding their personalities and interests.

One Minute Word Story Exercise

Jessica engages Ashton and Kyle in a creative exercise where they collaboratively build a story about their ideal first date, one word at a time. The attempt results in a humorous yet awkward scenario involving a mall visit and a bathroom encounter:

• Ashton: "First we go to the mall and pick out T shirts and some pants for our next date." (19:16)
• Kyle: "Bathroom. Bathroom at the mall for our first date. This sucks." (20:14)

This playful segment underscores their differing communication styles and sense of humor.

Conflict Scenario Discussion

Jessica presents a hypothetical conflict situation to Ashton and Kyle to assess their compatibility: Scenario: Kyle is invited to DJ a wedding where his ex-girlfriend is a bridesmaid and is asked to bring his new girlfriend or not.

• Ashton advises, "I would let him make the decision as to if he chose to have me there or not." (28:02)
• Kyle recounts his real-life experience, emphasizing a pragmatic approach: "I don't remember even having the option to have a person. It was just a business trip to me." (31:59)

Their responses highlight their approaches to communication and handling past relationships.

Relationship Qualities and Bad Habits

In a reflective segment, Ashton and Kyle discuss their best qualities and areas they are working to improve in relationships:

• Kyle: "My best quality is the ability to really read people... A bad habit is when I feel misunderstood, I shut down and can be very cold." (33:29)
• Ashton: "I'm a very passionate person... A negative trait is that I do get anxious and have to overcommunicate my needs." (35:55)

They emphasize the importance of emotional intelligence and communication in fostering healthy relationships.

Spicy Questions about Sex and Kinks

Jessica introduces more intimate topics, discussing the role of sex in relationships and individual preferences:

• Ashton: "To me, sex is very important. It's a lot. Chemistry is almost the most important factor." (37:36)
• Kyle: "Sex is the glue... It's a specific language that you only speak with that one person." (38:06)

They also touch upon their sexual preferences, with Ashton being open to exploring while Kyle prefers a straightforward approach, highlighting their compatibility and differing perspectives on intimacy.

Final Thoughts and Feedback

As the episode progresses, Ashton and Kyle provide honest feedback about each other:

• Ashton on Kyle: "He's cute... He seems very emotionally intelligent." (47:20)
• Kyle on Ashton: "I think she's really cool... She's got good humor." (54:34)

Their mutual respect and understanding are evident, despite the initial awkwardness, suggesting potential for a meaningful connection.

Conclusion

Episode 4 of "The Date My Podcast" offers a candid and humorous exploration of dating dynamics, past relationships, and the search for compatibility. Through engaging conversation, playful exercises, and honest reflections, Jessica Walter successfully navigates the complexities of setting up an on-air date that resonates with listeners seeking authentic human connections.

Notable Quotes:

• Kyle Lampe (00:45): "I got to wear my suit for the second time in my life. It was a great time. Weddings are nice."
• Ashton Swinford (02:36): "She's funny. She's got good humor."
• Kyle Lampe (17:54): "I accidentally found myself in a 90s DJ group that started out as a joke that turned out to be a kind of a big deal called D.J. Tanner and Uncle Jesse."
• Ashton Swinford (33:30): "I'm a very passionate person. I love to love."
• Kyle Lampe (38:06): "Sex is the glue... It's a specific language that you only speak with that one person."
• Ashton Swinford (47:21): "He's very cute. I could see why you liked him."

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For those who haven't tuned in, this episode serves as a delightful blend of humor, honesty, and heartfelt moments, encapsulating the essence of "The Date My Podcast" and its mission to foster genuine human connections in the modern dating landscape.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome back to the Date My podcast. This is season one, Date my ex, Kyle Lampe. Whoa. Just hit the mic.

[B]

Thank you. Thank you.

[A]

Off to a strong start. Kyle, how are you?

[B]

I'm doing great, Jessica.

[A]

Great. Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

How was your weekend?

[B]

It was good. I went to a dear friend of mine's wedding.

[A]

Oh, yes. Okay, yes. Kyle, let's talk about this. You went to a wedding? I went to a wedding. With a man or not with a man. Sorry. You went. You went to a wedding with a man. I don't know how to say it. Is he a friend? Is he a co worker?

[B]

So why don't you just ask me what I did and let me tell the story? Because you're ruining it. I went to a. A really dear friend of mine's wedding with some co workers from work. We carpooled and we drove up there. It was in Solvang. It was beautiful. Wine country, nice wedding. I got to wear my suit for the second time in my life.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was a great time. Weddings are nice.

[A]

Did it make you sad?

[B]

Why? That you broke off our engagement and that we could have been married? Is that what you're talking about? No, I was actually relieved because I was like, man, this looks like very stressful.

[A]

Really?

[B]

Yeah. So many moving parts and it has to be right, you know?

[A]

Yeah. But you still want to get married?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Not to me.

[B]

No, not to you, Ian. No, not to you. But yes, I do want to get married. To a lovely young lady.

[A]

Speaking of marriage to a lovely young lady. Ashton, come. No, I'm just kidding. We do have Ashton today. We have Ashton as your date today.

[B]

I know, I'm excited.

[A]

I'm very excited. So to give you a quick background, Ashton, another sort of. I met her only once years ago at this point, through. At a friend's birthday party. Friend of a friend. I talked to her quickly that night. She was great. We exchanged numbers. But I've really been following her on social media and that's what made me think of her for this and for you. And I was like, okay, she doesn't seem like she has a partner. Let me reach out, see if she's interested, give her a little backstory on Kyle and I did, but through.

[B]

Did she have a partner?

[A]

No, she didn't. Through her Instagram, though. I. I was like, creeping it. And she's just like, to me, the definition of like a bad bitch. Because she's independent or seemingly. We'll have her talk about sort of who she is from her ig. Independent humor's There. Beautiful.

[B]

Nice.

[A]

Not only actress, actor, actor, writer, producer, director, she's got her own thing going. Human. I think I said humor. She's funny. Anyway, so when I reached out to her and she was like, oh, my God, I'd be down. You want to know something interesting, though?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

She doesn't know what you look like. Oh, so she could walk in here and walk right back out.

[B]

And you know what? Honestly, for the show, that'd be amazing.

[A]

So Ashton can hear us right now? Cause she's in, like, the producer room. Ashton, if you walk in here and you are like, no, this is not gonna work. Based off Kyle's appearance, feel free to walk right on out.

[B]

Honestly, I almost. I'm like 60% hoping that happens.

[A]

What if she's like, nah?

[B]

She's like, nah, this is not the vibe. I will tell you, Ashton, since you can hear my voice, I am five foot ten and a half. If that's gonna be a problem.

[A]

Okay, well, he's tall where it counts.

[B]

I'm tall. I'm six foot inside. You know what I mean?

[A]

His heart is tall.

[B]

Yeah, my heart is tall.

[A]

Okay, so without further ado, let's have another date for Kyle. Ashton, come on in.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Hi, angel. Sit on down. I'd get up and hug you, but I think octopus.

[B]

Hello.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Nice to meet you.

[A]

She didn't leave?

[B]

No, she didn't. Not yet.

[C]

It depends on what you say.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. I like that phone case.

[C]

Yeah, I'm gonna put it down there. I'll play with it the whole time. So I did not realize that this was your ex fiance.

[A]

Stop, Ashton, you didn't.

[C]

Okay, I thought I told you. I had no idea the premise. I knew nothing. I showed up here like, yeah, I'm single. What's next? Dating LA is tough, but, like, you've already dated and what happened?

[A]

Okay, this is amazing. I'm so. For some reason, I thought I told you that I left that little detail out.

[C]

Minor details.

[B]

I'm really sorry.

[C]

Penis size.

[A]

Okay, so quick backstory, because our listener friends know we were together for eight. Almost eight years.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

Committed.

[A]

You weren't.

[B]

Okay, it's a good sign. Good sign.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

I met him, you know, very young. I was 25. We were engaged. I.

[B]

Not for the full eight years.

[A]

No, no, no, not for the full eight years. And for the last. We were engaged for a couple months. Yeah, okay. We were engaged just a quick few months and then I really had, you know, I had to make a big life decision based on my just, like, evolution. In my mindset as a person. And I was sort of. I was going in a direction of, like, I don't know if I want the things I had once told him I wanted, as far as kids, as far as marriage, and I just don't know. And I felt like. And he's very sure of himself, and he's always wanted the same thing. So to me, we had to have that conversation. And he didn't change. I did. I was the one who changed my mind. And he stood strong and like, okay, well, if that's not what you want, okay, but this is what I want. It's what I've always wanted.

[B]

And then I kicked her to the curb.

[A]

Kicked me to the curb.

[B]

Get out of here.

[A]

We did. Just so you know, we did a lot. Lots of couples therapy, even after that. And we really just, like, got down to it, figured it out. And that was, you know, eight months ago now?

[B]

Yeah, pretty much nine. Wow.

[A]

Yeah, very recent.

[C]

Long ago. And now you're doing a show about it to try to find a new person.

[A]

So she's like, I'm gonna leave.

[B]

She's like, what did I walk into?

[C]

So you vouch for him? He's obviously.

[A]

I vouch for him.

[C]

That's a plus.

[B]

No, not yet. I mean, okay, I've been dabbling.

[C]

Still young.

[A]

So what do you think? Is this a big. How do you feel? We're going to start off strong. How do you feel about people you've dated being friends with their exes?

[C]

I think it's a really healthy thing. Obviously, there are people who, you know really well. It depends on how the relationship ended. Like, if it was very toxic and you have to, like, jump off that hamster wheel and then. Please do that.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Um. So some people do deserve to be blocked. But if you're mature people and you can understand, like, where you went wrong and that, like, you know, you want the best for each other, I think that's a beautiful thing.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

But, yeah, everyone has to have their own healthy boundaries and, yeah, you know, all that jazz. But I think it's. I think it's cool that you guys are still close.

[A]

Thank you. I love that she didn't know that. I had no idea. This is great. She had not seen you. She didn't know that. So before we get into anything, let's do the intro.

[C]

She's leaving.

[A]

Let's do the intro. Ashton, if you could introduce yourself and just sort of like, maybe how you would on a first date, a blind date. And Kyle, I'm going To have you do the same to Kyle. Yeah.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Hi.

[C]

Hi, Kyle. My name is Ashton Swinford.

[B]

Oh, nice. What's the last name?

[C]

Swinford.

[B]

Swinford. Oh, that's regal.

[C]

It is very English. Very English.

[B]

It is.

[C]

I'm English and French and Russian.

[B]

Do you speak any of those?

[C]

I do speak some French.

[B]

That's cool. Do you like French food?

[C]

I love French food. I don't do escargot, but I do everything else.

[A]

Okay. Okay, continue.

[C]

So, yeah, my name is Ashen Swinford. I am an actor. I'm a filmmaker. I recently shot my baby deer project, which is a sci fi film.

[A]

Oh, what's it called?

[C]

Called Wisdom W I Z D O M. Congratulations.

[B]

That's a lot of work.

[C]

Yeah, it took us six years.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah, like three years to concept and get the funding, and then it took us a long time to shoot it. And yeah, we're really excited about.

[B]

Do you think getting into a relationship and having a man will help or hinder your ability to create projects?

[C]

I. That's a good. That's a good question. I don't think. I think it could do either. It depends on the relationship. I have found that, like, as a performer, that, you know, I won't date other actors. That's kind of something interesting, mostly because in the past it gets a little bit competitive. So I think you really need a solid relationship. And, like, you have to really know who you are. And I think it is a very individualistic experience. Like, if you don't know who you are, dating is going to be rough. And, like, that's when you're going to hurt each other the most. And also, like you guys did, you grow apart? You can talk about that. You know, no one stays the same, but it's just a matter of how you communicate what you want and where you're going and right where you are now, you know.

[A]

Very true, very true. The. The things we're going to get into. I'm going to do it a little different, just so our listener friends know. Last date we did more standard questions. We got into deeper questions. We're gonna start off once you intro yourself and we, of course, go through your compatibility. We're gonna start off with more fun. One thing I love about Ashton is, or it seems on your Instagram, is your humor, your ability to be open. So I'm sort of starting this off on more, like, fun, gamey type, get to know each other date questions. See how, like, on the same page you guys are. So go ahead with Your first date intro.

[B]

You just spoiler alerted the episode.

[A]

No, I didn't.

[C]

What you're gonna do, Kyle? Go on with your hello, improv.

[B]

I am. My name is Kyle Christian Lampy. It used to be fun fact. You want a fun fact? I used to have a regal name like you that I think was. This used to be Stillings.

[C]

Stillings.

[B]

Yes. So Ashton. You could have been an Ashton Stillings.

[C]

Wow. Ashton Stillings. That's.

[B]

That would have been nice. But not anymore.

[C]

Like a colonizer.

[B]

Yeah. Honestly, we came on the Mayflower.

[A]

So wait, Kyle, why is it not Stillings anymore?

[B]

Because my biological father died and then I got adopted by a wonderful man named Paul Lampy, who adopted me.

[A]

He's great. The greatest man. Anyway, sorry, I just wanted to.

[B]

Yeah. So. Yes. My name is Kyle Christian Lampy. I am a fitness coach. I own a remote coaching business where I help people with lifestyle, nutrition and exercise programs work remotely from wherever they are. I just started a supplement company with a client and friend of mine called Green Session. It's a. We create fitness supplements that are microdosed with thc. Like a very small amount. And then other than that, I love music. Music was my whole life prior to doing fitness. I played in bands and recorded, but now I do music for fun on the side. I'm not an actor.

[A]

She's like the key to my heart.

[B]

Yeah, right. And that's it. And that's a wrap. That's about it. I have a dog. She's wonderful. She is a half whippet hound. You know, those little fast skinny racing dogs. And half of a blackmouth cur, which is a hunting dog. Okay, I know. No one knows what that is. We didn't either. She basically looks like a little mini German shepherd.

[C]

Cute.

[A]

Yeah, she's adorable. Do you have an animal?

[C]

I have horses. I'm a horse girl. That's one of my.

[B]

You said horses with an S. How many?

[C]

Me and my friend rescued some horses, so I go out and help them, train them. So I'm like a half owner of these horses over here. It's mystic and Aquarius.

[B]

Yeah, horses always have the coolest names. Yeah, no one's naming their horse like Joe, you know, or Bob.

[C]

You can.

[B]

Yeah, but it's not the same.

[A]

My horse was named Joy and Zippy. Zippy? Makes sense girl, too.

[C]

Yeah, my. Well, their barn names. It's like there's something ridiculous. So like, you know, my horse growing up was like Mystical Merlin the Third with Son of blah, blah, blah. And it's like all the Lineage.

[A]

Oh, so you like had the fancy. My horses were quarter horses. We were just short. Just, we looked the same.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You have like stallions or something?

[C]

Uh, I rode thoroughbred, so did a lot of jumping when I was a kid. I was like really into action sports and that was like my version at.

[B]

The time was how often do you ride?

[C]

I, I go out once a week at least. I'm trying to go more, trying to train these horses. These horses are more green, so it's like working with wild animals on like another level.

[A]

Amazing.

[C]

It's great. It's great. It's terrifying, but it's also wonderful. It's also wonderful.

[A]

Oh, that's so cool.

[B]

When you ride these horses, do you wear a hat? Like a cowboy hat?

[C]

I do wear a cowboy hat. I. You have to because it's so, so sunny in the desert.

[B]

So cowboy hat's not just for fashion. It's function.

[C]

It is also function. Yeah. 100%.

[A]

Oh my God, that's so cool. Ashton, I had no idea. That's amazing. Yeah.

[C]

We'll have to talk horses.

[A]

Yes, talk horses. Have you ridden a horse ever? Yes. You have?

[B]

Have I ridden? I, I. Yes, I have. I like horses. I think they're magical beings that. I think they're. I think we don't understand them totally.

[A]

Maybe Ashton does though, cuz she trains them. Kyle.

[B]

That's true.

[C]

Maybe I'm learning. I'm always. You're always a student of like everything. That's the thing is we never know anything and I think we have to. The biggest discerning thing that I've learned recently is that there's a difference between predator and prey animals and how they behave. And that you have to act less like a predator when you're around animals that are prey.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[C]

That will freak out if you move quickly. If you like, they are ready to run. So you have to like speak to them on their level. Which I think is like a very good life lesson.

[A]

That is really cool. Ashton happens to be a Virgo, which. We had a Virgo on the last episode.

[B]

Did we?

[A]

Kyle is a Scorpio. How do you feel about that?

[C]

Okay, there he goes. I know there are some great Scorpios, but they're very dangerous. I feel like you do get mad sometimes.

[B]

All the time. See? But, but in a healthy way. Yeah, I've learned how to channel it in a healthy way.

[C]

How, how do you channel.

[B]

Yeah, my anger through creative expression. Like, or physical expression. Like going to the gym, going to hike, going to walk.

[C]

Nice.

[B]

Making music Listening to music.

[C]

What kind of music?

[B]

Punching walls. People, you know, just random people on the street.

[A]

What kind of music? Ashton says, because this.

[B]

I am a huge metal fan. That's pretty much all I listen to.

[C]

Okay, what's your.

[A]

How about you do. What's your. Are you like, everything music or what?

[C]

Well, I am pret. Pretty much like, everything music. I've been doing a lot of, like, house and techno for. Because I've been making this film for a long time. So, like, cyberpunk aesthetic.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

I love that kind of music. Yeah. So that's been really fun.

[A]

We're gonna start this off by you each tell each other three facts about yourself and you're gonna use these for the game we're gonna play after. So think of the facts. You wanna say quick three facts that maybe you'd say on a first date or maybe you'd say on like, a fifth date.

[B]

These are real, not lies.

[A]

No, these are real.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Oh, wow, you like to lie.

[B]

Well, it's fun, right?

[C]

I mean, I'm red flag as an actor. Paid to lie.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

So I get it.

[B]

Only if it's about unserious things.

[A]

Okay, Ashton, would you like to go first? Or Kyle, would you like to go first?

[B]

Sure, I'll go first. Okay, three facts about me. I mean, how. How interesting do we need to go? Are these surface level facts?

[A]

Any. Come on. You can get creative or you can be basic.

[B]

I don't like this game. Okay, facts about me. I accidentally found myself in a 90s DJ group that started out as a joke that turned out to be a kind of a big deal called D.J. tanner and Uncle Jesse. Shout out to my friend Taylor.

[C]

I love that.

[B]

Yeah, there's number one, another fact, I've never broken a bone. Which may lead you to believe that I'm not adventurous or physical. I've just been very lucky.

[C]

Okay, good.

[B]

That's all I got. I mean, Kyle, I've lived a long life.

[A]

Can I say, if not.

[B]

Yeah, go for it. Sure.

[A]

Kyle was in a band called Enjoy the Zoo. They were punk rock. The band ended before we met. But this was. And he plays. He played lead guitar.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

She got 40% of that. Correct. But we'll. We'll go with that fact.

[C]

What are the corrections?

[B]

Yeah, I did play guitar. It wasn't lead. We were not a punk rock band. But I wasn't a band. And we played a lot of really cool shows.

[A]

What were you like?

[B]

Pop rock.

[A]

Oh, my God. Apologies.

[C]

That's really.

[B]

That's a big difference. Pop rock Is so different than punk rock.

[A]

Okay, anyway, three facts. Yes.

[C]

Okay. One, I was born in New York City. Oh, I'm from New York City.

[A]

Love that.

[C]

Two, I used to work at the Onion. You know what the Onion is?

[B]

Oh, the. The satire.

[C]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Did you write?

[C]

I produced a TV show for them called the AV Club. Yeah. Hosted by John Taty.

[A]

Love.

[C]

It's very fun. It's like a celebrity talk show. It was really cool. That's cool thing. But yeah, I love Chicago. I moved back here from there. It's a good town. And then let's see. Third fact. One time I got kidnapped by the owner of Denny's.

[A]

Are you serious?

[B]

I have no facts. That's amazing.

[A]

Wait, are you.

[C]

I will not explain. Oh yeah, that will not explain. It's a whole nother podcast.

[B]

Did you now do you get like Denny's for life? Should we go on?

[C]

Don't eat a daddy Denny's.

[B]

Oh, I was gonna say maybe that should be our first date.

[C]

No, Kyle Moons over my hammy.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So romantic.

[A]

She got kidnapped.

[B]

You're not gonna get kidnapped again.

[C]

You're not a kid.

[A]

Oh my God. Adult mama. Okay, you know what? These are great facts for the next thing we're gonna do, which is we're gonna do a one minute word story, my friends. So what that is is I'm gonna give you guys one minute. You can each. You go back and forth and you each say one word. Now the theme of this story is ideal first date. And I want to see how. And it's gonna. I'm gonna give you a minute and we're gonna see how on the same page you guys are about. We're gonna see where the story takes us.

[B]

But. But the theme is our ideal first date. Yeah, great.

[A]

Ideal first date. And I'll tell you what, how serious is this? It can be. It can be fun. Okay. And I'm gonna have Ashton start and I will tell you guys when to go. In 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Start.

[C]

First we go to the mall and pick out.

[A]

Pick out. Fine.

[C]

Pick out T shirts and some pants for our next date. Fair period. Period.

[A]

You guys have. You still have time.

[C]

We're going to the mall. Oh, there's more. Yeah. Then we go to the food. Yes.

[B]

Court Guest.

[C]

We decide to stay at the mall and go to the.

[B]

This just popped in my head and I'm so sorry for this. Bathroom.

[C]

Bathroom. Bathroom at the mall. For our first date. This sucks.

[A]

That sounds like a horrific first date.

[C]

No, because are we 12?

[B]

If you remember, we. We Picked out cute outfits. Then we went to the food court and we had food and then we went to the bathroom.

[A]

Why did you go to the bathroom? Because you could have said arcade. You couldn't.

[C]

I was thinking movies. Okay.

[B]

No, I don't know what happens at.

[C]

A mall and make out.

[B]

Oh, in the movies.

[C]

See, she's going to the movie that's here.

[B]

That seems like something someone who's into film wouldn't do because you need to miss the movie.

[C]

Well, she was only for a movie I've already seen.

[B]

Oh, I see what you're saying. I see you're saying.

[A]

So on a scale of 1 to 10, how do we feel about that date? If that were. If you guys went on that first date, truly, how would you feel?

[B]

Well, the dates. The date's not over. Like, the bathroom is like. Well, I got to pee some time.

[C]

Are you going? Okay, so there's going to be more. Okay. Okay.

[A]

You're not hooking up in the bathroom.

[B]

Oh, is that what we thought?

[A]

Yeah, that's. Well, yes, of course.

[B]

Now you can see why I'm on this show. So I'm obviously having a hard time.

[A]

We're going on to the next one. If you had to murder someone and get away with it, how would you do it?

[B]

Hell yeah. This is exactly what I'm talking about.

[C]

Right after the first day. Why would you do this to us?

[B]

Because I want to see how down you are. I want to see, can I rely.

[A]

On you and think about in your head whatever you have to think about to justify. And maybe it's nothing, but we're playing a game. You have to murder this person. And how would you do it to get.

[B]

I thought about this a lot. Would you like me to go first so you can take time to.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Scared of you.

[B]

Okay, okay.

[A]

I would shave my whole.

[B]

Stop it. Shitty says, we know that there's things, especially nowadays, you cannot get away with any DNA. Right? So, number one, it has to be a random person that you are not connected to in any way. Like I'm talking about, you have to get in your car in the middle of the night and go into someone's house randomly, because there's gonna be no motive. But before you do that, you need to get rid of all your body hair, because if there's any hair follicles, they're going to find you. You also need to make sure that you're highly hydrated. Like your skin is hydrated so you're not leaving like skin flakes. So what I would do is I would take a bath and lotion. I would shave my whole body and then I'd wrap my entire body in cellophane so none skin cells or anything would come out. I would then put on shoes that weren't my size because they're going to identify more shoes. And I would walk in a. In a unfamiliar cadence. Like I would take long steps, short steps, long steps, because they're going to look at. Then they're not going to how tall I am. I'm not going to use any weapons. I'm going to use my hands, I'm going to choke them and I'm going to take their body out to a pig farm and I'm going to dispose of it because pigs will eat anything.

[A]

You feel free to see yourself out. Ashton, I do apologize for asking this. I'm so sorry. First of all, let's see if she says what I say.

[C]

First of all, they would hear you coming. Yeah, because all of the plastic wrap and whatever the shit you're wrapped in, you'd be like the worst murderer ever.

[B]

I'm so quiet. And.

[C]

No one is going to be true.

[B]

I didn't think about that.

[A]

See? Great point. And also, Ashton, what I said when I had asked him this years ago, his first response was that I had asked if you were to murder me and get away. And the point is. Get away with it. I'm sorry. All of a sudden, when they're investigating, oh, why did this person go missing? You're completely bald on the same day. You're. You're a ball.

[C]

You can't just grow your hair instantly back.

[A]

That's her wigs. And they go, maybe they go, oh, maybe it was. Maybe it was this guy Kyle.

[B]

Well, first off, I'm not murdering someone. I know. That's why I said it has to be unmotivated. Like I'm. I'm going into a house trying to.

[C]

Find a new woman.

[A]

Because you won't.

[C]

Hairless.

[A]

No. The second I see you, I don't care if I don't even know you, the second I see you one day and you've got hair and the next day you're completely hairless, I go, that guy probably just killed someone.

[B]

Not true. Because I'm. If you get on a plane and you go to like some place where there's a bunch of expats like, like Costa Rica, no one's going to ask a question. They're gonna think I have alopecia with incredibly smooth skin, by the way, because I had been lotioning it and Ashton's right.

[A]

They'll hear you coming. How the hell not if they're sleeping soundly, squeaking away.

[B]

You know what I would like to tell you? That's our first. You're gonna go to sleep.

[C]

Oh dear.

[B]

I'm gonna creep in, going to get murdered, and I'm gonna see how close I can get without you hearing.

[A]

I mean, he couldn't be saying worse things on the state. I think we all can agree, right? Yes.

[C]

100.

[A]

Ashton, go ahead with your.

[C]

Yeah, okay, if I. First of all, the first thing I'm worried about on. On a date as a woman is getting murdered. So let's just talk about that right there. Like, I am going into a room with a stranger and they want to pick me up at my place.

[A]

Fudge.

[C]

No, I don't want them knowing where I live.

[A]

Right.

[C]

I don't want them dropping me off. Like there's. There are real concerns as a woman that we are putting ourselves into danger and risk, like just going on a date with people. So.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Like that aside, how would I murder somebody?

[A]

That aside, that was probably not the best question for me to ask, so.

[C]

But like, if I was. If I really needed to murder somebody, like they did something real fucked up and the law wasn't doing things right, I don't know. I'd have to think that one through. I think it had to be specific to the situation because you can't just hire somebody because it's always traceable.

[A]

Nope, that's true.

[C]

Poison, I guess.

[A]

Poison. That's a good one.

[B]

Poison's good. Or you could hire me.

[C]

You do it.

[A]

And get caught.

[C]

Get caught so fast.

[A]

So fast with your bald.

[C]

Yeah, but you know what? There is a thing about, like, women and inmates. So, like, maybe that would be the thing for you.

[B]

That's it.

[C]

Yeah. Just get busted for murder.

[A]

Anyway, moving on to something that hopefully saves the state, which at this point, I think.

[B]

I think this is going great.

[A]

Okay, so we're going to talk. We're going to talk conflict. Okay, now, conflict in relationships. But in this scenario, I'm going to pitch to you, Ashton, a hypothetical situation in which I may or may not have experienced within the first months of dating Kyle. And we're going to see how it was handled. I did not handle it well, but I don't think you handled it well either.

[B]

Please.

[A]

And you'll have the floor to say how you would maybe handle it different now.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

So you've been dating a man for a month and he happens to be. It's. You Know, might be about you, it might not. Happens to be in a 90s DJ duo at the time. And his friend, his friend invites, asks him, his friend, who you also know Ashton, says, Kyle can. Oh, sorry.

[C]

His friend says, this might not be about you. Kyle.

[A]

Kyle, his friend says, I'd like to invite you to the wedding, sir. Feel free. If you want, you can bring your new girlfriend. I don't really know her, but you can bring her if you want. And you live in New York at the time. He goes, the wedding's in California, but I'd like you to work as well. You're going to DJ the wedding as well. And just so you know, your ex girlfriend of this person, I think was with this girl for like three years or something.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Your ex girlfriend of three years is a bridesmaid and she's single at the time. And so bring your new girlfriend or don't bring her, but you're going to be there, you're going to work. And then this man decides to not invite you and just go to the wedding. And how are you, how are you gonna react?

[C]

Well, did he communicate to you that he didn't want you to go?

[A]

No, he just said like, hey. Oh. And he didn't tell you that you were invited. You overheard at a gathering where this person who invited him, the man who invited him was like, oh, yeah, yeah. I told, I told this guy to bring you along if he wants, and he did not tell you that. I'll give you the moment to defend yourself.

[B]

I can't wait.

[A]

If this is him, it's gonna fall apart so fast. Okay, what would you.

[C]

Okay. How long were you dating?

[A]

Like a month. So it was new.

[C]

Okay. Yes, I, it's, I, I. Not to be argumentative, but I would do, I would let him make the decision as to if he chose to have me there or not. Okay. Especially a month in. Because I want somebody who chooses me and like, I want them to be sure. If he wants to pursue that, go for it. Like, figure that out. Because I'm not gonna, I'm not gonna sit here and like, wait for somebody. So, like. Yeah, I don't know. I think, I think if it was communicated well and they. He took care of your feelings in that process, which. That doesn't sound like that was what happened then. I think it would be okay. But it's all about, like, being more intimate and communicating more while you're dating other people as well. Like as you're. I don't, I think some, a lot of people get that part wrong where it's like. And if you're dating multiple people or people like that want to be polyamorous, it's actually more work than a traditional relationship because you're taking care of all of those people's emotional needs as well. And so, like, when you're first starting dating, I don't think that's necessarily is true. You don't really, like, owe each other too much. But if you care about that person, you want that person to feel good about your relationship with them and that you want to continue things, then you should make them feel good, you know?

[B]

I agree.

[A]

That's a great answer. I agree too. I handled it very poorly, and if I could do it again, I would. I was also 25 and young. Go ahead. Okay, so you've got 90 seconds.

[B]

Yeah. This is what happened. It was my previous boss's wedding. He found out he needed a DJ wedding DJ for his wedding. He found out that I was a dj. So me and my partner had a meeting with him. He said, hey, this is how much it'll be. We'll fly you out. We'll say you up there. So in my mind, oh, this is a business transaction. This is my boss. I don't want to step any boundaries. So I didn't ask if I could have a plus one. I just assumed, oh, this is, like, a thing. And he said, by the way, you can. You can have a plus one if you want to come to the wedding. Which must have slipped my mind, because, honestly, I was in business mode, thinking, like, okay, this is how much we're going to make. These are the travel plans. And then we were like, I told you. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna go DJ this wedding. The thought that my ex girlfriend was a bridesmaid was literally not a concern to me at all, because she's an ex for a reason. And there. It wasn't like, something I was trying to rekindle. It was literally, to me, it was like, me and my DJ partner have a job to do. We're gonna fly to California for two days. We're gonna do the wedding, and then I'm gonna come back, and it's a total, like, it's not even like, we're gonna be in the wedding. Like, we're often on a DJ tent, and they're bringing us plates of food while the wedding party is doing the thing. Like, wasn't even part of the wedding, so it wouldn't have been something that, like, I was thinking, oh, I'm gonna get dressed up for. And it'd be nice to have a plus one. We're gonna sit in the chairs and watch them get married and have be at our designated table. It's like, no, I'm like, I'm like the help. I like the staff. I'm working. So probably wouldn't even be something that would be like glamorous or anything to do. I was thinking it was just like, hey, it's a new relationship. Let me just go take care of this. I'll come back. That's why I didn't invite you. I was thinking of it more practical and pragmatic. It wasn't like I'm trying to not invite you so I go try to riz up my. My ex girlfriend or whatever. And yes, you were so upset. Now hindsight, I should have just said, hey, I'm gonna go do this wedding. What do you think about that? Because honestly, I gotta be honest with you. I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna be 100 honest.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I don't think I would do anything different because I don't remember even having the option to be able to have a person. Was not even in my mind. It was just like a business trip to me.

[A]

Right. To your defense, when I did bring it up days before and I was like, you know, I would have liked to be invited, blah, blah, he communicated all that and he was like, I. I'm looking at it as a business trip. All of that to say it's good to know you'd handle that. Way more mature, Ashton.

[C]

Moving on only from going unhealthy to healthy. Like learning that process, it's like no one gets it right right away.

[A]

Right.

[C]

Especially if you care about each other. You talk it through. And like I, I feel too, they've been so stunted in the terms of like they don't have the channels to express themselves. Like we as women, like we are open about talking to our feelings to each other all the time. Like men don't really get that outlet so it's not practice for them often. Not that they should have any like leniency because of it better.

[A]

But.

[C]

But also like, yeah, I do think that it's gonna take some time to learn that emotional intimacy because it feels unfamiliar and like unsafe and like, you know, it has all this negative connotations to it for men somet times. Which is not. It's not true anymore.

[A]

Yeah, very true. Could you list maybe one of currently as yourself now, each of you, one of your best qualities. You bring to a relationship and maybe a bad hat, one of your bad habits you're currently working on, or maybe something you even consider a worst quality.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Like, you're gonna go first.

[B]

Would you like me to go first?

[C]

Okay, let's.

[B]

Let's start with best quality. I think my best quality I bring to a relationship is I have the ability to really read people, and I can see mood changes and changes in body language, and I can really understand a person's emotional state even without them having to say it. And I will do my best to do whatever it is. Like, if we're. Say we're out with friends and I can tell that you're just, like, you're tired or you're uncomfortable, I'll come up to you and be like, hey, do you want to leave? And then you'd be like, yes. And then we can make an excuse why we have to leave, like, those kind of things. Like, I'm always aware of how. How's your emotional state? Whether or not it's like, me causing it or someone else. On the flip side of that, I would say that maybe a bad habit in a relationship I have is if I get upset or I get. I feel like I'm being misunderstood or. Or I am being disrespected. It's really easy for me to. To shut down to a point where I can be very, very cold. Basically, it's not a good thing. I know it's a defense mechanism because ultimately I don't want to get hurt, But I've had to learn that that is obviously not a healthy way to deal with feeling misunderstood, which would be much health. Much healthier would be like, hey, I just want to let you know, when I expressed this feeling to me and I felt like you blew me off, that really hurt me. As opposed to just. Just being like, oh, well, her. She doesn't care about me, so guess who's not going to get any of my attention? Like, that's how it used to be. So, yeah, still. It's still. That's my go to is wanting to sing like a scorpion, But I have to, like, dial that back and be like, hey, you know, you may not even notice that you made me feel that way. So I would communicate that.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. Give the other person a shot to do better. Like, it's our responsibility to speak up for our emotions. And sometimes I do think, like, there are people that you need to cut off. Like, there are, like, the toxic relationships that you absolutely need to stop putting energy into them. But you Know, I like to give everybody at least a shot to do better.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

Before you do that, but it's up to you. It depends on the relationship and how much capacity you have to give to those people, you know, and what kind of relationships you want to build.

[A]

Yeah, very true. Very well said. How about you?

[C]

Oh, God. Okay, wait, so good and bad.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Okay, let's see. Good is. I'm very, very passionate person. I love to love. I think like the pursuit of love is a honorable act regardless of how many times we fail, you know? Yeah, that's what I try to keep telling myself. I could do this, I could do this.

[A]

Exactly.

[C]

And then, yeah, I guess a negative trade is like, yeah, I do get anxious. You know, I have been in relationships where people have emotionally manipulative. So, you know, I've had to learn how to over communicate my needs and how to set boundaries and what works for me and this whole spectrum of what's available now, you know, and like, I do. I do find that monogamy is kind of what I want. Even now that there's like so many options and a lot of people are feeling like, you know, that's not even possible anymore. So, yeah, I think it's just kind of communicating what you do want and finding those people that align with it and also knowing that it's not personal personal when things don't align. And it's just like, thanks, see you later. Like, we're not gonna wasting each other's time anymore, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Because that's what's super precious. And the right person, I feel like will add to the joy that you already have.

[B]

Word.

[A]

Very true. Take us to church. No. That was beautiful.

[C]

I haven't figured it out.

[A]

Okay, we're getting into the spicies, the spicy questions which I always tell every guest. If you want to pass on any of these, you just say, pass.

[C]

Sorry, Mom.

[A]

We'll start with a general. How important is sex to you in a relationship?

[C]

Oh, okay. To me, very important. It's a lot. It's. Chemistry is like almost the most important factor. And then there's the. Obviously emotional intimacy becomes the most important factor, but if you don't have one, you can't really have the other.

[B]

Very true, very true. Well, I think it's obvious what my answer is. After we decided on our first date, we would just go straight to the bathroom at the mall.

[A]

Dirty, disgust.

[C]

Don't I deserve better?

[A]

Yes, you do.

[B]

We'll just. I'll bring some Lysol.

[C]

Straight. So sexy. You walk in first public toilet before.

[B]

No, I think it's. It is the. It's the only thing that separates a deep, meaningful, like, friendship. Like you can. You can really be deeply knowing someone and love somebody, but they can be a platonic friend, like. Like how you would a brother or a sister or a best friend. But when sex gets involved, that's only reserved for me anyways. That's reserved for a specific person in your life that no one else can access that part of you. And it's. That is the glue. That is the. I've said this a million times. Sorry, but that's the link there. That's. It's a specific language that you only speak with that one person. And no one else will be able to ever like, decipher, understand that because you develop your. You develop your own like. Like cadence and what you guys like to do and the communication in that. In that aspect. It's. It's. It's. It's everything.

[C]

It's a language. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Speaking of language that I wasn't. I was gonna save this one till the end, but. Speaking of language in sex, are there any kinks or fun little fetishes that either of you would like to disclose? Or maybe neither. Maybe you're like more vanilla and not vanilla in a bad way.

[B]

I think. You know what? That's. Vanilla gets a bad rep. If vanilla's good, you know, it's exceptionally good. Like if you go to. Perfect example, you go to an ice cream place. I like to try the vanilla. Because if the vanilla is good, you know, everything else they put in, it's gonna be good too. If you don't have a good base.

[C]

You don't have anything boring. Agreed, though, Agreed though. Because to each their own. Like, some people, vanilla is great, you know, and that's. That's perfect. Are you. Are you.

[A]

Are you vanilla?

[B]

Oh, I'm just like, listen, I'm a. I'm such a simple dude. Like, I'm just a good old fashioned mish, you know?

[A]

What the heck is a mish?

[B]

Missionary.

[A]

Oh, Kyle, that's not true.

[B]

Yes, it is.

[C]

Okay, well, how about you?

[B]

It's my fit. And let me tell you why. Because if. If it is an intimate connection, there's nothing more intimate than eye contact with somebody. You get to see all of them. You get to. You can. You're more tuned into their. Their body cues. You can see facial expressions. That lets you know if this is a good thing for them or a bad thing for them. You can adjust based on that. You can't adjust if, like, you're on the 43rd page of the Kama Sutra and she's hanging upside down and your legs behind your head. It's like, what's happening here.

[A]

True. I will say from. And you don't. We don't have to talk about this here, but from discussions pre show, it seems as though. I understand, like a safe base, but you are willing to. You have some specific things you like to explore and spice up.

[B]

I mean, the best way, the basic way to say it is I am a dominant person and I don't. I does. I'm not excited about being subservient to anyone. So, like, there we have it.

[C]

You don't like those role play?

[B]

No. Okay, that's another thing too. Like, I'm not wearing a cape. Like, I'm not gonna.

[A]

I'm not here to save the day.

[B]

You're not gonna. You're not gonna. We're not gonna. I'm not gonna dress up like a French baker and you're just gonna wander your way into, like, a French cafe.

[A]

You're talking to an actress.

[B]

No, that's. I can't do that. I'm so sorry.

[C]

No, you. You're not required, you know. Right.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

Ashton, I don't have any specific kinks, I will say, but I have been with partners who have had very specific kinks. And I think I've always tried to do my best to try to fulfill that kink for them because I feel like that is a level of acceptance and intimacy and like, that builds something with them. Of course, I wouldn't do anything out of my own comfort zone. Like, everybody has their own level. And there's also times I've been to boyfriends, been like, just go watch a porn that does that. I can't.

[A]

Right. I can't do that.

[C]

I can't do that.

[A]

Right.

[C]

But yeah, you know, like, you. I think in general, you want to accept people for who they are, and their most intimate thing is what turns them on. So you want to be accepting of that regardless of what it is, especially if you care about that person.

[B]

Is that something you get into early on? Like when you start dating someone so you don't like, find yourself in a trap or you're like.

[A]

Like the conversations?

[B]

Yeah. Is that a first date thing for you?

[C]

I don't think it's a first date thing. Because here's the thing, there's always a solution. Like if somebody has like a super. Yeah, I guess you're gonna figure out if you're mismatched at some point down the road. So, you know, it's like, do you want the romance of figuring it out or you're just gonna like your first date list all the things o.

[A]

I can't wait till she sees the first episode of the Dear Lord.

[B]

Oh, I made a three page document.

[C]

Oh my God.

[B]

About.

[C]

Well, I mean, this proves that you're serious about this dating thing.

[A]

We are gonna, we are gonna wrap it up, this part up. And then I have both of you exit and ask your honest feedback where you can't hear each other. But we'll wrap this part up with full circle. Tell me. You each tell me your ideal perfect first date.

[C]

Not in a one word story.

[A]

No, you're actual.

[C]

Okay. For me, an ideal, perfect first date is an amazing restaurant with a gorgeous view. You know, you pull the chair out all the nine yards. Don't pick me up because again, I don't want you to know where I live yet. You might be crazy. Okay. Thank you. Don't leave things on my door. That's happened. It's weird.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Men are weird. Women are weird too though. Like, no, like they get weird too. There's, you know, you're just playing the odds. Yeah. Living in a city, you're gonna catch somebody.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So. But yeah, if you, if you recognize that and care about my safety going in and don't pressure me to like give me your, my address to you or pick me up or you know that like, but you, you make the time and effort to set a date and a time and follow up with me. Even ask my dietary restrictions. Like just give a. And make an effort and let me show up and see what you show up with. I think that's like the most beautiful thing. And then you kind of figure it out from after a dinner. You kind of know if you vibe or not.

[B]

Right. That's great.

[A]

That's beautiful. Yeah.

[B]

My idealistic first date. What I like to do is I like to give three different. I make three reservations at three different options of like, types of food. After I kind of suss out like, what do you like? And through conversation. And then I'll just send them to you and you can read through the menu and decide what you like and then we'll go to that one. I like to meet people there too, because I'm the same way. I'm like, I don't. You don't need to know where I live. And also like, as scary as it is for females, obviously, like when it comes to murder and like being abducted. It's also scary for men too, because we also don't want to put ourselves in a situation where we could look like the aggressor or give a reason why, why we would be the out to be the bad guy. So I would try to like, to avoid that. I don't want to put a strange woman in my car that I don't know. Like, who knows what could be happening? So, yeah, I'll meet you there. I love opening doors and, and pulling out chairs, but honestly, all I'm looking for in that first date, I don't care where we eat or what the ambiance is. Like, I just want to see you. I want to see how you react to humor and conversations. I like to go deep into conversations early. Like, I like to know, like, what is the worst thing about you? What are. Like, what are you? What are your dreams? Like, what do you. Why are you even here? Like, what. What is it about this process that you're trying to even get out of it? Like, I want to see. Suss you out how serious you are. And then through that, it's like conversation is everything. If we're not vibing and there's no laughter and there's no banter back and forth, I just can't do it. I don't care how attractive I think you are or any other attributes. Like if. If we can't talk, we don't have anything. Because as attractive as you may be, like, you're not gonna. And as attractive as you may find me, that's gonna fade. It just does. No matter what you do to try to keep that up. But conversations never will. And how that person makes you feel and your inner dialogue with each other will always be there. So that has to be first and foremost. So you don't have anything.

[C]

Yeah, true.

[A]

Good answers. All right, so Ashton, now we're to the part where I'm going to have Kyle Scott, our producer, is going to come in and get Kyle, make him exit. He'll go somewhere where he can't hear or see us. And I'm gonna get your thoughts, your honest.

[C]

We're gonna talk all this, talk all.

[A]

Shit, and then vice versa, we'll switch and do the same. So, Kyle, get the hell out of.

[B]

Here if you're gonna call the cops. Can you give me a running start, please?

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

Even if I did still catch up really fast. Don't hold back, okay? I won't. You'll hear it later.

[A]

She's gonna be screaming no. Okay, what are Your thoughts?

[C]

He's cute.

[A]

He's cute.

[C]

He's very cute.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

I could see why you liked him. Yes. You guys have a dynamic.

[A]

Okay, I want to dig into this. When you say that, do you. How do you feel? Like, what do you think?

[C]

I mean, I'm really glad you guys are still friends and can work it out, but you definitely are at each other's throats a little bit. Like, okay, I see why it didn't work.

[A]

Okay. Do you think you'd go on a second date with him?

[C]

Yeah, I think so. I. I do, because I think he's got that depth. Like, I do think that's the vibe part that I'm looking for when you sit down with somebody is, like, whether or not they have something real, whether they can, like, look you in the eye and go deep. And, you know, I. No one likes to have those surface conversations, like, 20 times.

[A]

Right.

[C]

You know, so much of dating, at least in la, is like, a dude monologuing at you for, like, the whole date and never asking you a single question. Or, like, you know, I'm asking 30 questions and I'll just be, like, waiting for them to be like, ask anything.

[A]

Literally anything.

[C]

It's not that hard, right?

[A]

He is great at that. He is like. Because he's very, like. He said he's very aware of the other person, and he also. I've. And this was years ago before him, but I've been on dates where they were asking the questions, but I'm like, oh, someone taught you how to do this? You don't really care.

[C]

They would listen.

[A]

No, you're not listening. They would ask, and then they would, like, trail. I was, like, talking, and they'd, like, look at their phone. I'm like, yeah, rude. I know. Okay. So good to know. Good to know.

[C]

I feel weird, you pawning him off. I'm not gonna lie.

[A]

I will say it was. I mean, hence why he's on the first. You know.

[C]

Okay, let's get into it, though. Why? You said it. You said there's a mismatch of. You wanted kids.

[A]

No, I wanted.

[C]

You did not want kids, and he wants kids.

[A]

Well, it's not about me not wanting kids. I got to a point in my life where I was like, do I even, number one, believe in monogamy?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Like, I. That was my main. I was like, do I believe in, like, monogamy in marriage? It's all I've grown up with. My parents are still together after 35 years, but I've never, liked, experimented not Being monogamous. I've never really even dated multiple people at once. I've always been almost like a serial monogamous or a monogam. Yeah. So then I'm like, I just. And I'm also very career focused right now. A lot of things. And I do think I want to be a mom one day, But I'm definitely like, he's 40, and he's very much like, you know, a kid is like, a big goal of mine soon. And I'm like, oh, God, I could wait till I'm 40 and I'm 33, you know, so it's like, we were in big things for me. I'm not extreme. I'm not religious, but I'm spiritual. And I think that, like, having something. If you do have kids, having something in your child's life. For me, I was raised a Catholic. I am not a Catholic anymore. But having, like, the Bible study and the different morals to follow, on one hand, there were a lot of negatives. On the other hand, it helped me, like, overall think kindness is number one. I want to be kind. I want people, you know, I don't want to be, and that I really valued. So all of that being said for Kyle, he's very much not a religion person, which is fine. But he. You know, the thought of, like, maybe having a kid in, like, a Bible study or a. I don't know, was like, he's like, the kid's never stepping foot in a church. Which, again, I understand, but it was very much. We were on different pages about, like.

[C]

That, like, how you would raise a child if you had one.

[A]

Yes.

[C]

Different values. Yes.

[A]

But my thing. The reason I was. We discussed this, and having him on this show, season one was like, I. It's like I did in my life. I would never set my friend up with another friend or when I know one of them isn't. Like, I have to vouch for them. Like, I have to be like, this is a solid girl or guy. And, like, they. I would vouch for them until the ends of the earth. I've done it with girlfriends and some girlfriends. I'm like, girl, I'm not hooking you up with anyone.

[C]

You go do your thing, you know?

[A]

So that's why.

[C]

Yeah, you know, he's a good one.

[A]

Just not for you. Yeah, he's a good one, just not for me. And that he's like, anyone would be. Absolutely anyone will be. Lucky for him is that he's always been so sure of himself. And I'm almost like I was like, jealous of that a little. Because I was lost so much throughout the eight years of, like, who am I? What do I want? What. All of that. All of that to say thank you for coming on the show. I'm excited you guys vibed. I would like if you could sort of tell people whatever you want about yourself, maybe, like, if they want to get a hold of you, where they can find you, where they can find your work. Or maybe you don't want them to get a hold of you. I think. I think you plugged your Instagram. But if you can do it again and sort of. Yeah, where. Where people. People can find you. Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. No, thank you so much for having me on course.

[A]

You're wonderful.

[C]

Yeah. I want to hear more about your personal love story journey too, because that's the other part we're not talking about. But yeah, you can follow me on Instagram at Ashton Swinford and then. Yeah, Project Wisdom.com is the film wiz D O M. Okay. That's where you can see most of the information about it. And. Yeah, and still making films, making movies, trying to do stuff. You know, our movie is really about, like, the brain chip and all of the moral decisions that are going to come once we can, like, 3D print life. And, you know, it's a satire about the healthcare industry, so really, we really want to make something cool and futuristic, but also has a. As an important message, so.

[A]

That's amazing. And what you said, you've been working on it for six years.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How wild that it's only become more relevant.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. It's like we kind of, you know, saw this coming and. And it grows into reality.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Every day.

[A]

Damn well proud of you. I'm always creeping your Instagram, being like, this girl knows how to do it. She's a bad bitch.

[C]

So.

[A]

Thank you for coming.

[C]

Of course.

[A]

And yeah, if. If and when Kyle is like, oh, I would love to go on a second date with this person, we'll give you a phone call on air. And dear Lord, by then, if you're like, oh, God, no, then you'll sit, you'll say, you know, now. No.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Or if you're like, let's try it.

[C]

Well, you have to text me first because I screamed my call.

[A]

I'll text you. Thank you so much. I'm gonna bring Kyle in now and I'm gonna give you. Get the out and get the out of here. So she is reporting you to the police.

[B]

Yeah, it's fine. I figured. So it's about time Someone needs to stop.

[A]

Obviously someone needs to.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I want to hear your thoughts, but I have to say, I feel like I did such a good job with her.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And why. I would like to hear why.

[A]

She's just, like, sweet and independent and, like, you can tell she's sure of herself and very solid. Solid. She is funny. She's got good humor.

[B]

She's funny. She seems very emotionally intelligent, too.

[A]

Emotionally intelligent.

[B]

And she looks like she's not going to put things. Shit.

[A]

No.

[B]

Which is nice. Yeah.

[A]

So nice. That's the thing. I think you. I think I was missing maybe our entire relationship where it's like, I was sure of certain aspects of myself, but then things would change and evolve. Like, I think even now it's like, what is actually me? And what am I sure of? And what do I, like, want? And what has really just been drilled into me thinking, like, this is what you want because it's the right thing to do. You.

[B]

Right. Right.

[A]

Since childhood.

[B]

Are you.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I love her. But anyway, what do you think?

[B]

No, I thought as far as banter and conversation went, I thought it was. It was easy for me to be, like, my depraved self. I didn't feel uncomfortable just, like, throwing it out there.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Because sometimes. Sometimes I'll, like, if I'm not sure about the person, I. I can't joke about, you know, going on a date to the mall.

[A]

Right.

[B]

Which is atrocious. Which is that where I thought that was gonna go. And honestly, when the bathroom thing popped up, I just thought food court. And I thought, well, I'll probably have to go to the bathroom.

[A]

Yeah. But it was funny.

[B]

Sexy thing.

[A]

It's funny. Us girls thought you meant, like, hook up in the bathroom. No.

[B]

You were like, no, not a monster.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, I thought she. I thought she was really cool. I think she's. She's like a person. Like, put it this way, if I were to be, like, at a party, I feel like her and I would just, like, we would, like, talk.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And it would be like, such a cool vibe. Like, we could talk. It's like the type of person you could talk to all night.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And just be like, oh, this person's really cool.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What about any negatives?

[B]

Yes. The. The actor thing is. Is hard for me just based on the ethos of what it takes to actually make it as an actor and some of the things you need to align yourself with that you may or may not believe it. Roles.

[A]

Okay. But that's a general.

[B]

In this Town, but, you know.

[A]

Yeah, I mean, that's a general thought. That's you being like, oh, this is how you have to be. I was an actor for. For a couple years when we were together back in Nashville.

[B]

You were. And I'm not. I don't mean this is any shade, but how successful were you? Well, I'm saying.

[A]

But I mean. No, you're right. But my point is I. I knew of many successful actors who were on the show Nashville and they're. They were great. I think it's not necessarily fair for you to say that because I could be like, oh, a fitness person, a fitness guy, a personal trainer. They're usually douchebags. They're full of themselves. They're whatever.

[B]

And. And you wouldn't be wrong to say that because that is generally the way.

[A]

But you're not.

[B]

I know I'm not, but. But generally that's the way that goes. And we're. Nashville to LA is two different things. LA is a different bubble when it comes to acting. I just. It just. Hey, you asked. I'm telling you.

[A]

No, I know. I like your answer.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

If it makes you nervous, but it's a deal breaker.

[B]

It's not a. It's not a deal breaker. I just. I know that if I were to get involved with someone that is going to be successful in acting, being with someone, you are around them a lot and you're gonna have to go to things that also include people of that. Of that hive mindset. And that just drives me nuts.

[A]

So I think you. Okay, I hear you. And I. I hear you. I think it's not fair to. Because you haven't actually experienced it.

[B]

It just feels so inauthentic.

[A]

And I think she's one of the most authentic people. Okay.

[B]

You're talking about if you, if you decide to be with somebody in that world and you're hanging out with them, you're going to be around a lot of people that are in that world too.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And those people aren't my. All I'm saying, those people aren't my people. And it would be hard for me to mask around them.

[A]

I hear you. How many people in your industry or in any industry, in any job, absolutely hate their bosses and at the Christmas party, they're kind and. Hi, good to see you. It's literally exists everywhere. That's just life.

[B]

I know.

[A]

So think about that.

[B]

Planets. Can't do it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

No, but overall, I think a very positive. I think she's really cool and I would be interested into learning like, how cool she is, you know?

[A]

Okay, so do you think you would go on a second date with her? Don't answer that, because you'll find you next time. Camera was trying to do a nice. A nice transition.

[B]

Yeah. I can't stand you.

[A]

Okay. Anyway, even though that seemed to go horrifically at the beginning, I think it ended up going well.

[B]

You thought it really went bad?

[A]

No, I was just, like, she seemed a little alarmed a few times.

[B]

Oh, do you think it was the fact that you said, hey, you want to be on this dating show? And then you dropped the bomb that we were almost married?

[A]

I forgot.

[B]

That's so crazy. That's like, 101.

[A]

I forgot.

[B]

That's the whole point.

[A]

That was my show. I'm learning as well. Well, this is. This is season one. I'm learning as well. I should have said something I forgot. Anyway.

[B]

Supposed to build the ship before you sail it, Jess.

[A]

It's not the size of the worm, it's the motion of the ocean.

[B]

The bird that gets it early.

[A]

It's not the size of the ship, it's the motion of the ocean.

[B]

That's right. That's right.

[A]

And that's a small dick joke, ladies and gentlemen. All right, we.

[B]

Oh, body shaming. Right. Because imagine if I said that about a woman on here. Canceled.

[A]

Okay. Okay. Thank you so much for tuning in this week to the Date my podcast. Please tune in next week. Kyle has another date.

[C]

I do.

[A]

And we'll see if it's just as disastrous as this one. See you next time.

[B]

Goodbye.