Episode 6: Tera

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Date My Podcast – Episode 6: Tara

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Date My Podcast
• Host/Author: Jessica Walter
• Episode: Episode 6: Tara
• Release Date: February 11, 2025

---

Introduction

In Episode 6 of The Date My Podcast, host Jessica Walter teams up with co-host Kyle Lampy to assist Tara, a 31-year-old TV writer and producer from New York, in navigating the modern dating landscape. This episode delves into Tara's personal experiences with dating, her ideal first dates, and her perspectives on relationship dynamics, all infused with the show's signature humor and candid conversations.

Guest Background

Tara introduces herself as a creative professional with a diverse background. She hails from upstate New York, specifically Rochester, and has lived in various places including Los Angeles and Oahu, Hawaii. Tara shares her experiences living and working in different environments, highlighting her stint on the set of Hawaii Five-0 where she worked as a dog poop picker—a role she fondly reminisces about:

"It was honestly like an amazing first gig. I could ask all those stupid questions about how a set worked, what does that equipment do, whatever."
(14:00)

Dating History and Relationship Insights

Tara recounts her past relationships, emphasizing the challenges of long-term monogamous commitments. She reflects on her relationship with her ex-fiancé, which ended after eight months of engagement due to differing life paths and personal growth:

"We had like a small little life plan that she exploded... We were on the track to being married."
(12:53)

Discussing the concept of "icks"—deal-breakers in dating—Tara shares personal dislikes such as managing time poorly and exhibiting "princess behavior." She underscores the importance of punctuality and resilience in a partner:

"I cannot stand people who cannot manage their time... we're all gonna die, and we have a finite amount of time here."
(17:44)

Ideal First Dates and Compatibility

The conversation shifts to Tara's ideal first dates, where she prefers low-pressure, daytime activities that allow for genuine interaction without the influence of elaborate settings:

"I want a daylight date because a candle-lit restaurant can really woo you... I want to see the real you."
(49:54)

Tara contrasts this with more traditional romantic setups, advocating for authenticity and meaningful conversations over superficial attractions:

"It's like, to see the real you as close to the real you as I can."
(50:27)

Sexual Compatibility and Bedroom Dynamics

A significant portion of the episode explores the role of sex in relationships. Tara emphasizes the importance of sexual compatibility and communication:

"Sex isn't like a performance or a play... it's a way to show up authentically."
(41:11)

She shares her mantra, "I'll try anything twice," highlighting her openness while maintaining clear boundaries:

"I do think kinky shit has been so over-amplified and commodified that it doesn't always have to be fucking weird."
(43:06)

Tara also discusses her experiences with past relationships where sexual incompatibility led to breakups, stressing the need for partners to be attentive and adaptable:

"He was the first time he had to keep trying because it was the first time he was consistently sleeping with somebody."
(37:09)

Humor and Banter

The episode is peppered with lighthearted banter and humorous exchanges, particularly around topics like pet names and quirky dating experiences. Tara's playful interactions with Kyle reveal her down-to-earth personality and ability to maintain humor even in introspective discussions:

"Someone who can keep up."
(55:45)

Astrological Compatibility

Tara and Kyle briefly touch upon astrological signs, debating the relevance and impact of zodiac compatibility in relationships. Despite the playful skepticism, they acknowledge shared traits that might influence compatibility:

"Red flag. I do feel like I'm in control of my own fate... astrological signs are a really nice filing system for people I don't like."
(24:42)

Conclusion and Reflections

As the episode wraps up, Tara and the hosts reflect on her experience during the date segment. Tara expresses her positive impression of Kyle, appreciating the authentic connection and engaging conversation:

"So I feel like I need to preface this by saying, like, I'm not sure I believe in icks... But I do want to see the real you."
(58:57)

Kyle hints at future episodes where they will review Tara alongside other participants, promising listeners an insightful continuation of the journey to find meaningful connections:

"Next episode, we are going to sort of review them all... and you'll find out who next week."
(63:10)

Notable Quotes

• Tara on Authentic Dating:
  "I want to see the real you... It's about seeing the real you as close to the real you as I can."
  (50:27)

• Tara on 'Icks':
  "I cannot stand people who cannot manage their time... We're all gonna die, and we have a finite amount of time here."
  (17:44)

• Tara on Sexual Compatibility:
  "Sex isn't a performance... it's a way to show up authentically."
  (41:11)

• Tara on Ideal First Dates:
  "I want a daylight date... I want to see the real you."
  (49:54)

Final Thoughts

Episode 6 of The Date My Podcast offers a candid and humorous exploration of Tara's dating life, her preferences, and the dynamics she seeks in a relationship. Through engaging dialogue and relatable anecdotes, Jessica Walter and Kyle Lampy provide listeners with valuable insights into the quest for authentic and meaningful connections in the modern dating scene.

Transcript

[Tara]

Foreign.

[Kyle]

Hello and welcome back to the date my podcast. This is season one, Date my ex, Kyle Lampy.

[Host]

Hello.

[Kyle]

Yay. Yay.

[Host]

I always imagine. Is there going to be music during the.

[Kyle]

I hope so.

[Host]

I think that'd be nice. Like.

[Kyle]

Yeah, we'll find some.

[Host]

Okay, cool.

[Kyle]

Royalty free.

[Host]

Royalty free.

[Kyle]

Of course. How are you doing today?

[Host]

I'm doing great.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Host]

It's been a good day.

[Kyle]

It's been a good day.

[Host]

Yeah. I had a nice morning. Walk with the dog.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

Saw some clients. Delicious food. Here we are.

[Kyle]

As you were saying, so exciting. As you were saying. You said it's been a good day. I had a nice. I was gonna interrupt you and go. Don't care. Moving on. But I figured since not everyone knows our sense of humor yet, that might be rude. So I'm glad you did that. I'm glad you had fun. How are you feeling? That today is your last in studio date. So we have Tara today. And I'll let you know how I met Tara shortly. But how are you feeling about this?

[Host]

Honestly, I'm kind of bummed.

[Tara]

Are you?

[Host]

Yeah. I mean, I highly recommend anyone out there that's watching this, find someone who wants to do all the work of finding dates for you. And you just have to show up and see if that were it works or not. It's awesome.

[Kyle]

Really? Yeah. I was honestly not.

[Host]

I'm like, can we just. Like, can we just keep going? Can we just do this?

[Kyle]

Maybe.

[Host]

Maybe this isn't season one. Maybe this is just an ongoing.

[Kyle]

But you're. It's supposed to be a different. If we do another season, it's supposed to be a different dater every season.

[Host]

Yeah, I know.

[Kyle]

Okay. So today is Tara, and I'm very excited about Tara. I will say this is a little bit of me cheating. Just a little. Because our friend Michelle actually suggested Tara. So I didn't necessarily quote, unquote, find Tara, but basically our friend Michelle, who we both know and love, reached out to me. I had reached out to a few friends. I said, I'm doing this show. A few trusted friends. And I said, if you know of anyone, please let me know. Michelle reached out. She said, I've got a good friend. I think she would be a great potential match, and I think she'd have so much fun. She's single. So she connected me and Tara, and then Tara and I texted back and forth a little, and then we hopped on a phone call. And then I knew. Once we hopped on a phone call, I was like, tara, you must. If you're Willing come in. But here's the kicker, which isn't really a kicker because this has happened now like twice. Tara doesn't know what you look like. So just like Ashton. Well, Ashton walked in and she was fine with what you looked like. But it could have happened where Tara walks in, she sees Kyle, and she could very easily turn around and walk out if she doesn't like the way he looks.

[Host]

That'd be. And I would be okay with that, so. Which doesn't seem fair because I can't get up and leave if I don't like the way Tara looks because then we wouldn't have a show.

[Kyle]

Yes, you can.

[Host]

I would never do that.

[Kyle]

Go ahead, see what fucking happens. See what happens.

[Host]

I would never do that. That's so rude.

[Kyle]

Anyway, we talked about this with the dating expert. I feel like for a lot of women it takes a little bit maybe, because like for me and my exes, they're not all tens, you know?

[Host]

What are you saying right now?

[Kyle]

I'm saying, like I go for personality a lot. I mean, what are you saying right now?

[Host]

Can I tell a story of what we started when we started dating? We got invited to this party at this like mansion or whatever. And I'm like, okay, that'll be cool. Nashville hang out. And then we're sitting there, there's a mixed group of people, there's a band playing. Guy walks by and she goes, oh, that's my ex boyfriend. I was like, oh, okay, cool, no sweat. Another guy walks by. Oh yeah, I dated him too. And I'm like, all right. Oh, see the bass player in the band playing? I dated him as well. Oh, nice. And then, and then she goes, oh no. A fourth guy comes in. I did it. And then I'm starting to think, oh.

[Kyle]

Did you date all of Nashville?

[Host]

You must be the town bicycle. Cuz everyone stayed, everyone's had a ride, right? Like, what are the chances that we're at a mansion party in Nashville with. With a lot of people there and you've dated four guys?

[Kyle]

Very high, by the way. Very high. Absolutely high. Nashville is a small. It's one of those like big city, small towns or whatever. And by the way, not that it matters because I could have been the town bicycle and that would have been fine, but every man there has been my boyfriend in the past and I'm talking boyfriend of a year or longer. So these were long term monogamous relationships. And yes, most of them were musicians, so they were there.

[Host]

I just thought it was funny like for like the first Time we, like, went out in public, I was like, oh, I guess we're just meeting all these men that you let inside of you.

[Kyle]

And now full circle, I'm meeting all the women who. Well, not. Yeah, you've let inside, right?

[Host]

Yeah, I haven't let them inside of me yet. Okay.

[Kyle]

Okay. So anyway, what I decided today, and I'll. I'll say it more when Tara gets in here in a minute, but I think the first date with Melanie, we did more like standard first date questions. And then we got a little deeper. The date after that with Ashton, we did more like fun and improv and silly. And then with Maya, we went back to, like, the deeper questions. First date. So I think we're gonna end on. Especially with Tara and what I. What I feel is a great personality. We're gonna end on the more fun and the sort of more the. The vibe of, like, the Ashton date with the questions and the topics and like, the little games and stuff. And we'll get into deeper questions and we'll just see where the conversation takes us.

[Host]

Nice.

[Kyle]

You said nice before I was done talking. Okay, how about so long?

[Host]

I'm so sick of hearing your voice.

[Kyle]

How about what I was going to say?

[Host]

How about just silence and prolonged eye contact and let the audience try to decipher what we're. What we're talking about?

[Kyle]

I don't like that. Okay, so without further ado, we are going to have my girl Tara.

[Host]

Tara, come on in.

[Kyle]

Tara.

[Host]

Hi, angel.

[Kyle]

Come on. I would stand up and hug you, but the mic is. Is that. Oh, there we go.

[Host]

Hi, nice to meet you.

[Kyle]

Yay. We'll make sure the mic is good to go. Bring it like, so you can move it. You get comfy.

[Tara]

Don't touch the.

[Kyle]

Oh, look at mine. Don't either. Okay, short crew, how tall are you? Are you five? No, you're taller than me.

[Tara]

I'm five'one Ma'am.

[Host]

I'm five'one Hell yeah.

[Kyle]

Are you actually five'one Because I say five'one but I'm not. I'm like five and three quarters.

[Tara]

No, I'm five one.

[Kyle]

You are.

[Tara]

Yeah, solidly nice.

[Host]

What age did you reach your peak height?

[Tara]

I've been this tall since I was like, eight. So I was like a giant for a little bit.

[Host]

Nice.

[Tara]

And then the rest of my life has just been, like, humbling myself.

[Host]

Yeah, I was gonna say. So if someone, if a little fairy came to you at the age of 8 and said, this is it for you, do you think you would have been Sad.

[Tara]

I mean, I think that at age 8, I have a really hard time processing what the future looks like. So I'd be like, yeah, okay.

[Host]

That's a great answer.

[Kyle]

That's a great answer. Okay, before we get into anything, Tara, will you introduce yourself? Whatever you want to say in this first introduction?

[Tara]

Sure. Okay. Yeah. I'm Tara. I'm from New York. Oh. I'm 31, and I write and produce for TV.

[Kyle]

Hell, yeah.

[Host]

Oh, that's cool.

[Tara]

That's me, I guess. I don't know.

[Kyle]

That's so cool. Okay, you grew up in New York City or upstate New York?

[Tara]

Upstate. Well, I moved around a lot. I claim New York State.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

Like, mostly upstate New York. And then I lived in the city for college and, like, a few of the lost years.

[Kyle]

When you say upstate, where? Where do you mean?

[Tara]

Rochester.

[Kyle]

Tara, did we talk about this?

[Tara]

No.

[Kyle]

Tara, I am from upstate New York.

[Tara]

Fuck you. Really?

[Kyle]

I grew up on the Finger Lakes. Shut the fuck up. I grew up in Auburn, New York, which nobody knows. I went to St. John Fisher for two years.

[Tara]

No fucking way.

[Kyle]

Yes.

[Tara]

I used to do their volleyball camps all the time. I was thinking about playing there.

[Kyle]

Stop.

[Tara]

I was on a date right now.

[Kyle]

All right, Kyle, head out.

[Host]

Yeah. Should I go?

[Kyle]

See yourself out.

[Host]

You know what?

[Kyle]

So you went straight from upstate New York to la?

[Tara]

No, I went from upstate to the city, to Hawaii, to la.

[Host]

Where in Hawaii?

[Tara]

Oahu.

[Host]

I'm going there in two and a half weeks.

[Tara]

Oh, no way.

[Host]

My grandpa lives at the North Shore.

[Tara]

That's so fun. North Shore's beautiful.

[Host]

Oh, I can't wait.

[Tara]

Have you been before? Mm, nice.

[Kyle]

How long did you live there for?

[Tara]

Four or five years.

[Kyle]

For what? Just fun.

[Tara]

I had, like, a really stinky boyfriend.

[Kyle]

Smelly or bad?

[Tara]

Just, like, bad.

[Kyle]

Okay, okay. Yeah.

[Host]

In Hawaii.

[Tara]

So we met in college. We were long distance, though. He was in Miami, I was in New York, and he got into grad school in Hawaii. He's a criminal psychologist. Very good at, like, manipulating me. And he goes. He was like this whole spiel of, like, if you love me, you'll move out there with me. If you don't, we might as well, like, break up now. I was, like, very, like, soft brained, like, young 20s. I was like, oh, my God, I love you. I'll go.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Tara]

We lived together for the first time in the same city. We lived together, and it took me only a couple months for me to be like, holy shit, I fucking hate you.

[Host]

Oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Stop.

[Tara]

It was rough, so I broke up with Him. But I stayed. Cause I had a sick job. Picking up dog poop on set.

[Kyle]

Hell yeah. Are you for real? What did you feel?

[Tara]

I'm dead serious. Hawaii 5O.

[Host]

Hell yeah. Nice.

[Kyle]

Oh my God.

[Host]

How many hours do you work picking up dog poop?

[Tara]

It was a lot. We had. Basically all of our cast members had dogs. Crew members would bring dogs when you're shooting out in the jungle. Feral dogs.

[Kyle]

Oh my God.

[Tara]

Yeah, it was a lot. But it was honestly like an amazing first gig. I could ask all those stupid questions about how a set worked, what does that equipment do, whatever. And people would not get fed up with me because my job was literal shit.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Tara]

So like I really like leverage that to my advantage. Yeah.

[Kyle]

I am so like, so much respect for you. We're gonna talk, we're gonna go on a. A friend date later. But because my first job was a stand in and I did the same thing.

[Tara]

You get it?

[Kyle]

I was standing on TV sets and I was like always there. So I would just ask people stuff because I was standing in 12, 13, 14 hours a day. You remember that? Anyway, can you do your intro? Sorry?

[Tara]

Oh, sorry.

[Host]

Oh, me?

[Kyle]

Yes, do your.

[Host]

Oh, I was like so enthralled with the poop and the Hawaii.

[Tara]

Oh, yeah. Great.

[Host]

Well, my name is Kyle.

[Tara]

Hi, Kyle.

[Host]

Hi. I am. I'm 40 years old. I am five ten and a half.

[Tara]

Congratulations.

[Host]

So much. Thank you so much. I used to think I was 5, 11.

[Kyle]

Oh.

[Host]

But I recently went to the doctor for my like 40 year old checkup.

[Tara]

He set you straight.

[Host]

And they let me know that I had lost an inch, so.

[Tara]

Well, there are worse places to lose an inch.

[Host]

Right?

[Tara]

Well, I'm so sorry. I don't know it. I literally don't know you.

[Kyle]

I love her.

[Host]

You're right. You're absolutely right. And I can't promise you that that also isn't the case.

[Tara]

Oh.

[Host]

So starting off, do with that what you will. Yeah. So I. My life basically consists of. It's centered around fitness. I own a remote fitness coaching business. I see clients one on one. I'm very active. I have a pup who poops a lot. So if you want to your problem, but. Well, no, but I'll pick it up. But I want you to like, if we're ever like on a walk, I.

[Tara]

Would like to know me to feel bad for you the way.

[Host]

No, I was saying like, maybe, maybe, maybe you could give me some pointers on my poop picking up techniques. Okay.

[Tara]

I'd love to.

[Host]

Yeah. Yeah, sure. Cool. Other than that. I love music. Music was like my whole life before fitness. And I can cook.

[Tara]

Oh, nice.

[Host]

I'm really selling myself here.

[Tara]

Wow. Do you clean or just cook?

[Host]

I love. You know what's. I love to cook and I love to clean. I love doing.

[Tara]

Damn, that's hot. Okay.

[Host]

I know, I know, I know, I know.

[Tara]

See?

[Host]

Yeah. I look really good in an apron.

[Tara]

Nice.

[Host]

So I wouldn't mind being a kept man.

[Tara]

Oh, nobody would.

[Host]

So if you want a clean house and meals cooked, let. Let me know. You know, as long as you're cool with me just like chilling at home and sweatpants, that's fine.

[Tara]

Yeah, that's pretty ambitious. I could have a career for the both of us.

[Kyle]

I can tell. I did not realize. I wasn't mentioning, and this is my bad to some of the dates that Kyle is my ex fiance. Did you know that?

[Tara]

Oh, fiance. I did not know.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

Yeah. So we were getting married as of April 6 this year. We were on the track to being married.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Host]

And then she.

[Tara]

How many months is that?

[Host]

That's about. We're about. We're. We're going on eight months.

[Kyle]

Wow.

[Tara]

And you're ready to date already?

[Host]

Yeah, yeah. Yeah. And we can get into that, too.

[Tara]

I'd love to.

[Host]

Yes.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Host]

But she. We had like a. Like just no big deal. We just had like a small little life plan that she exploded.

[Kyle]

But you know, when you talk like that, it really doesn't seem like you're ready.

[Host]

No, I know. It's. No, but to me. To me, it's fun. I know, I know. It doesn't.

[Kyle]

You don't put like the. There's so much time we did of therapy, of really realizing this is not it.

[Host]

Do you want to know why I don't do that?

[Tara]

Why?

[Host]

Because it's not funny. It would be. It's less funny. It's. Forget it. It's over.

[Kyle]

I ruined it.

[Host]

Edit this out. Yeah. Anyways, we can get into that. Yes. She was going to be my wife, and she is no longer going to be my wife.

[Kyle]

Can we talk about your dog for a moment? Because.

[Host]

Ooh.

[Kyle]

Yeah, Tara does have a dog, which I know. And please say what kind? Because. And then say what kind Margo is.

[Tara]

He is a German shepherd with only three legs.

[Host]

What happened to his one leg?

[Tara]

So I think there's like, too many puppies in the womb, so it didn't really develop.

[Host]

Oh, okay.

[Tara]

And then the breeder that he came from was going to put him down because they couldn't sell him for full price.

[Host]

Sure.

[Tara]

But he never got around to it. So he was like this starved out, sickly little puppy. He was getting beat up by his siblings and the other parents until a neighbor scooped him up. This neighbor was like, wait, I'm literally 100 years old. I can't have a puppy? And then he got, like, passed around between shelters, foster care, until I finally found him. But they didn't amputate him until he was, like, a year old.

[Host]

So he had, like, a little chicken wing?

[Tara]

Yeah, he, like, remembered it. And they neutered him in the same operation?

[Kyle]

No.

[Tara]

So he's, like, a little traumatized.

[Host]

Wow. So he woke up. Wow.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Did you find him after that, or you brought him in to get neutered.

[Tara]

And they were like, oh, no, I met him after that.

[Kyle]

You met him after that? Okay. How is he now?

[Tara]

He's okay.

[Kyle]

Uh. Oh, she's. Well, how old is he?

[Tara]

He's three.

[Kyle]

So he's still quite a pup.

[Tara]

Sure. I think that's.

[Host]

Do they have therapy for dogs?

[Tara]

Well, he's going to boarding school.

[Host]

Oh, okay.

[Kyle]

If you end up going on a date with Tara and you are unkind, which wouldn't happen because you're, like, the kindest person in the world, he might beat you up. That's all I'm gonna say.

[Host]

The dog might be.

[Kyle]

Whether or not it's with his eyes.

[Host]

Oh, yeah, sure.

[Kyle]

Or with his attitude.

[Host]

And I would totally accept his judgment for what it is because he can probably definitely see who I really am.

[Kyle]

Margo. Kyle's dog?

[Tara]

Yes. What type of dog is this?

[Kyle]

Oh, yeah.

[Host]

She's a half whippet hound.

[Tara]

A whippet hound.

[Host]

So she's got really. She's really slender and fast, but she's also half of a blackmouth cur, but.

[Kyle]

Also part German shepherd.

[Tara]

Right.

[Host]

Blackmouth cur is a southern hunting dog. They have black faces. They look a lot like German shepherds. They're just not as floofy as a German.

[Kyle]

I'm showing you.

[Tara]

That was a good spiel. Do you have to give that a lot? Yeah. Nice.

[Host]

So she's really. She's basically like a. She's colored like a German shepherd, but she has a body.

[Tara]

Oh, she's cute.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Host]

But she doesn't, like. She's scared of other dogs.

[Tara]

Okay. Same with my dog.

[Host]

Oh, perfect. So maybe they'll be like.

[Tara]

Yeah, cool.

[Kyle]

Tara, do you feel like people are. I'm just really going into any questions. Dog people, cat people, or people can be both. I am very much both. Kyle has a certain feeling about cats.

[Tara]

How do you Feel so I'm pretty allergic to cats.

[Kyle]

Oh, okay.

[Tara]

I would be open to getting, like, a hairless one.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

Hell, yeah.

[Tara]

Yeah. I get icked out when somebody isn't good with dogs. Like, just bring it back to dog poop. Like, I have been with guys were walking my dog, and I have to pick up his poop, and we keep walking, and they're like, I'm sorry. I'm so weirded out by the fact you're just, like, holding a bag of dog poop right now.

[Host]

What is he gonna do when his baby barfs on him? Or he's gotta change his baby's diaper.

[Tara]

Yeah. Am I supposed to eat it? Like, what do you want me to do?

[Host]

I bet he had soft hands, too, huh?

[Tara]

Exactly.

[Kyle]

We're gonna go into.

[Host]

That's some Soy Boy shit right there, Kyle.

[Kyle]

We're gonna go into the icks. Name your top three icks in a potential partner.

[Tara]

Three?

[Kyle]

Yeah, let's name three. I can name three, and I'm not even in the game. But I'm gonna go ahead and name three so you guys have time to think. Number one, it's so cliche, but it's so true. If you're a dick to waiters or valet or. And you're not kind, it's like, you're gross. You're a douchebag. Number two, and I'm so sorry to say this, but I am not big. I lived in Nashville for 10 years. So the frat boy energy, the sperries, the popped collar. Let's go with the. I'm just, like, not. That is the ick for me. Ick, ick, ick. And number three would be probably. What do you think? Can you help me? Doesn't matter. This isn't my date. Moving on. Okay. Your ex.

[Host]

Oh, you want me to go? Yeah. I cannot stand people who cannot manage their time. Like, lateness, I think, is probably one of the most egregious things you can be to somebody. And I'll tell you why. Because we're all gonna die, and we have a finite amount of time here, and if you're wasting my time, I will be upset. Wish death on you.

[Kyle]

Is that an ick, though? Because I'm.

[Host]

Yes. It's. No, it's huge. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah. You were with me for eight years, and I'm terrible.

[Host]

And guess.

[Kyle]

Was that an ick to you?

[Host]

Yeah. And guess how pissed off I was all the time.

[Kyle]

But was that an ick?

[Tara]

You know?

[Kyle]

What?

[Tara]

An ick.

[Host]

No. Yeah.

[Tara]

You did propose for the record. You what? You did propose to her?

[Host]

I did.

[Tara]

She was lady. That's what I'm saying.

[Host]

No, I know. Listen, I think. I think. I think icks are when you're getting to know someone, those are kind of the things that. But you can. When you. When you get to know somebody and you accept them and love them, what could be have been an ick can also just be a quirk and something that you accept and love about them. So.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

I think an ick is like a beginning stage kind of thing. The second for me is I cannot stand, like, princess behavior. Like, if you can't. Like, I like. I like girls that are troopers. Like, oh, you. Oh, you want to go, like, say, let's go on a hike or whatever. And yeah, it may be a little hot and maybe there is a bug there. It's like, we're in nature. But if it's like, if this is what I don't want to hear, like, it's so hot and my feet hurt. It's like, well, then you want to do this. Buck up. You don't hear me complaining about it. I'm hot too. I just can't. I. I can't stand princess behavior and I can't stand lateness. Those are like my major two. Like, I need to know that. Basically, I need to know this. If the shit were to hit the fan tomorrow, I don't have to worry about you, like, not being able to step up. You know what I mean?

[Tara]

Yeah, no, I get that.

[Host]

Because I'm going to step up. I need you to step up with me or you're going to get left behind for the zombies.

[Kyle]

The amount of times he told me that I couldn't be on his end of the world team, just the amount of times he was like, you would not survive.

[Host]

You can now.

[Kyle]

Why?

[Host]

Because you've learned a combat skill.

[Kyle]

Yeah, you did too.

[Host]

But before, I was like, oh, my God.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

Actually, you know what? I take that back. You could have been on my. You would just been a body shield.

[Kyle]

Oh, nice. Very nice. Tara.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

You're ex.

[Tara]

Okay, so I feel like I need to preface this by saying, like, I'm not sure I believe in icks. I think, like, you just straight up didn't like that person. And that's like your brain hitting the panic button.

[Kyle]

Oh, I like this theory.

[Tara]

That being said, men who drive Fiats.

[Host]

What if I have a Fiat?

[Tara]

Do you have a Fiat?

[Host]

No, I don't. But I do have a boxy little baby car. What kind of car do you It's a Scion XB.

[Tara]

It little. Little.

[Host]

It's 2010.

[Kyle]

No, it's not. She's talking about the golf ball car.

[Host]

Exactly. Yeah. Yeah.

[Tara]

Clown cars.

[Host]

I get it.

[Tara]

You know who drives a clown car?

[Host]

Clowns.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

I love that.

[Tara]

I've been, like, dunked on by a lot of men who drive Fiats. So, like, now I just see them and, like, I can't do it. Yeah.

[Host]

I almost wish I had a Fiat and. Change your mind about it.

[Tara]

Sorry.

[Kyle]

I love that so much.

[Tara]

Okay, pet names. Too fast.

[Host]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

Give us some examples of the pet.

[Tara]

Names I've been called. Old bean. Just like. It's not even cute.

[Kyle]

Bean's cute.

[Tara]

Old bean, though.

[Kyle]

Old bean.

[Host]

What? Second date. Come here, you Old bean.

[Tara]

Yeah, I will not. I'm not gonna respond to that.

[Host]

You know what? That's a good one. I had a girl call me a silly boy one time on our second.

[Tara]

Or funny.

[Host]

And, yeah, she's like. She's like, silly boy. And I went, we're never seeing each other again. You're not my mom. That's like, something your mom says, you know?

[Tara]

Yeah. I think one guy got really nervous. He called me, like, T dog on a date. I was like, oh, yeah.

[Kyle]

Oh, okay, brother.

[Host]

But what about this?

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

I always wonder about icks, too. Like, what if being very presumptuous here.

[Tara]

Okay, sure.

[Host]

You're say you're, like, really attracted to me, and we're having, like.

[Kyle]

Sorry. Okay.

[Tara]

No, I'm so attracted to you. Yeah.

[Host]

Just pretend.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

Can we pretend?

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

And we're at somewhere real nice, like a Red Lobster. And I'm getting you extra cheddar biscuits up.

[Tara]

I love Red Lobster.

[Host]

See?

[Tara]

Keep going.

[Host]

I know Red Lobster. And I'm like. I tell the waiter, I slip them like, a. Like a five. And I just, like, keep these cheddar.

[Tara]

Biscuits coming, even though they're unlimited.

[Host]

Stop it. And I. And I'm like. And I'm like. And I slip a T dog in there. But it's. But we're having fun. You're.

[Tara]

What's the context?

[Host]

It's just like. I don't know. Be like, how those cheddar biscuits. He, dawg. But you like me. It's different.

[Tara]

That's the thing. When there's, like, emotional investment, anything is possible. And that's what's so embarrassing.

[Host]

So then I can go off with the names, maybe. Yeah.

[Tara]

How many dates in. Are we.

[Host]

That's what I'm saying. This is like, you. We're all right. We're. We're. We're. A third date. We've established a first date.

[Tara]

Yeah, I would probably let a tea dog fly on the third day.

[Host]

I love that.

[Kyle]

If there's a second date and you don't drop a tea dog, then I'm going to be livid.

[Host]

Has anyone ever called you T. Rex?

[Tara]

I get that a lot. Tara the Terrible.

[Kyle]

Terra the Terrible.

[Host]

What about Terrorizer?

[Tara]

Yeah. Pterodactyl? Pterabyte. There's not a lot I haven't heard.

[Host]

I love that.

[Kyle]

If you were in Jiu Jitsu, Tara the Terrorizer or Terrible, would that be sick? Sick.

[Tara]

My mom calls me Turda because I'm the shit. But that's also very embarrassing. That's so cute.

[Kyle]

That is so cute.

[Host]

What about lowercase t? Because you're 5:1.

[Tara]

Lowercase T. That's a mouthful. So. No. No one's ever said that before.

[Host]

How icked out are you right now?

[Tara]

I'm not icked out.

[Kyle]

Tiny T, baby T. Okay, we are moving on to astrological compatibility. We'll do that super quick. Basically, this says, because this is more fun than this. Basically. Cancer and Scorpio. Oh, cancer. What?

[Host]

Nothing.

[Kyle]

Kyle's a Scorpio.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Oh, okay.

[Tara]

That's scared.

[Kyle]

That's a decent response.

[Host]

You want to know why?

[Kyle]

Why?

[Host]

Because we both have outer shells and pinchers.

[Tara]

Yeah, I get it.

[Host]

I don't know.

[Tara]

People, like, vomited in here when they.

[Kyle]

People. What?

[Tara]

Oh, dude, like, really upset. Yeah, no, the.

[Host]

The whole sign thing. And I'm sorry if you believe this, I will not judge you. But the whole sign thing, if you're, like. If it. If it's enough for you to be like. And create a snap judgment on, like, who a person is. I literally, like, you're so not the person for me. It's like, oh, you care about dumb. Like, we can't really go.

[Kyle]

That's so judgy care. I don't care, though, because the moon does rule many things.

[Host]

Yeah, the moon does rule many things, like your cycle and the tides. Sure. But the fact that, like, you're a crab, a water sign, and I'm a scorpio, which, by the way, do scorpions swim? This makes no sense to me anyways. I've heard that. I've heard that cancers and scorpios are compatible because of those things, but I also think that people can be compatible just because of a lot of other reasons.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

Like values and humor and pheromones.

[Tara]

I don't know.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Tara]

So red flag.

[Host]

Yeah. Red Flag.

[Tara]

At the end of the day, I do feel like I'm in control of my own fate.

[Host]

Yes.

[Tara]

But I dislike a lot of people and like, hell yeah, astrological signs are a really nice like, filing system for people I don't like.

[Host]

Yeah, right, right. I like that.

[Kyle]

I love that.

[Host]

Have you ever dated a Scorpio?

[Kyle]

Oh, that's a good question.

[Tara]

No.

[Kyle]

She said no. They're trash. What do you mean?

[Tara]

Oh, I did not know. I have not. I've actually dated against the grain historically.

[Kyle]

Okay, so which means what, like Leo's?

[Tara]

Well, I'm a Leo rising.

[Kyle]

Okay. I'm a Leo.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

Oh, so you do know about this. Did I offend you?

[Tara]

No, no. We live in la. You have to know.

[Host]

That's another thing too. I refuse to just get in this box of crystals.

[Kyle]

And Google says cancer and Scorpio are said to be highly compatible because of their shared intuitive and emot. Emotional nature and their mutual appreciation for loyalty and emotional security. Do you guys agree with that?

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

I'm very loyal.

[Tara]

Me too. Yeah.

[Host]

And I. And I do love. I do need emotional security.

[Tara]

I'm not used to like, receiving it from another person, but. Yes, like you don't.

[Host]

You're not used to feeling safe in your relationship with someone else? Like that they got you like.

[Tara]

Not. Not really. Maybe not. I don't know.

[Kyle]

Okay, well, it also says here, to maintain a healthy relationship, Cancers and Scorpios need to communicate openly and trust each other. I feel that that applies to literally every relationship.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Right. In the world. But hey, good to know. Okay, we're moving on. We're moving on to the. This has been fun. We have never had like such a long sort of intro before the question.

[Host]

Oh, that was the intro.

[Kyle]

Well, it's. No, are you kidding? It's just been flowing. I love this. Okay, we are going to do. I want to do the word story because I thought that was fun. So what you're going to do is you're going to tell each other right now three facts about yourselves. They can be any facts you want. And then we'll move on to the one minute word story.

[Host]

Okay?

[Tara]

Okay. My three facts. Yeah, unfortunately my dog was going to be one of my facts. Can I use that still? Yeah, sure, of course.

[Kyle]

Setting the rules. Setting the rules. Not the host. Setting the rules.

[Host]

Oh, I'm sorry. Would there be a show if it.

[Kyle]

Wasn'T for me, Kyle?

[Tara]

Wow, good point.

[Kyle]

Okay, let's hear the facts of the dog.

[Tara]

Okay. I mean, it's like three legged dog named Kevin.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

Oh, Kevin. We didn't know what his name was.

[Tara]

His name's Kevin.

[Host]

I love it. Kevin.

[Tara]

That's cute. Real big Yankees fan. I was in New York for the World Series.

[Host]

Right, right, right, right, right.

[Tara]

That was hard.

[Host]

Sports.

[Tara]

Yes.

[Host]

Let's get it.

[Tara]

And I've never had a hangover before.

[Host]

Oh, is that because of something in your body or you just don't drink?

[Tara]

Something in my body. I definitely. I've put in the work. I've tried.

[Host]

You've tried?

[Kyle]

She's put in the work.

[Host]

Do you. What's your nationality?

[Tara]

I'm half Filipino, half Portuguese.

[Host]

Okay.

[Kyle]

Why is that?

[Host]

Well, because I know the Asian flush. Do you get that?

[Tara]

No.

[Kyle]

Oh, is that like you get hangovers or you don't?

[Host]

It's like it's a slight allergy to a. To alcohol that. That the genetically Asians can have. It flushes their skin. Yeah. Some rosy.

[Kyle]

Interesting. Okay, Your three facts.

[Host]

My three facts. Let's see. I'm a black belt in karate, hopefully. Okay, so that's pretty cool. I was born and raised in Las Vegas. Oh, I don't know how exciting that is. She's like, cool.

[Kyle]

Guys, how should I react to this?

[Host]

Born and raised Las Vegas. And I play guitar. I play guitar my whole life.

[Tara]

Oh.

[Host]

And it's one of my favorite things to do.

[Tara]

That is nice.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

He's got range, huh?

[Host]

We're ranging. I'm gonna add one more. Oh, And I can cook you the best steak you've ever had in your life.

[Tara]

No. We'll have a competition.

[Host]

Oh, yeah. Are you okay with. Are you okay with losing?

[Tara]

Be nice. I'm really sensitive.

[Host]

I know. Typical cancer.

[Tara]

Yeah, whatever.

[Kyle]

Such a cancer.

[Tara]

I am in the kitchen and I cannot take the heat. Like, I'm open about it. I love that.

[Kyle]

I love that. Okay, so we are now going to move on to the one minute word story, which I enjoy. And the. The subject is your first. Your ideal first date. And we're going to see how much on the same page you guys are.

[Tara]

Okay. Okay.

[Kyle]

And I will have you start with the word and we'll just go back and forth in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1, 0.

[Host]

Saturday night, we drive to the beach and pull out. It's two words. Sorry.

[Tara]

A blanket for a picnic. That includes cheese, wine, meats, grapes, bread, and.

[Host]

Music.

[Tara]

Then we go to a ice cream parlor. It literally.

[Kyle]

And it just wrapped. Oh, wait.

[Tara]

I feel like I was just getting warmed up.

[Kyle]

Oh, I know.

[Host]

That was good.

[Kyle]

That was so good.

[Host]

I.

[Kyle]

You can tell she's a Writer.

[Host]

Well, that and you read my mind. When I was talking about, like, when you said includes.

[Tara]

Oh, yeah. I was like, oh, I could tell.

[Kyle]

With like the energy. You were like, okay, we're on the same page. We're on the same page.

[Host]

That could be cute though.

[Kyle]

What?

[Host]

A sunset picnic with a little ice cream after talk. And then we walk and get ice cream.

[Tara]

That is very nice.

[Kyle]

With grapes, meat, cheese, bread. I was like, how long is this food that's gonna go?

[Host]

It's like the rest of the podcast.

[Kyle]

And we're just spaghetti. Meatballs.

[Host]

Meatballs, yeah.

[Kyle]

Oh my God. That was fun.

[Host]

Just so you know, the last one we did got weird, so I was.

[Tara]

Prepared for weird, so I'm like kind of thankful.

[Kyle]

That was fabulous. Okay, we're moving on to. If you could only listen to one song for the rest of your life and you had to listen to it multiple times a day every day, what would the song be? You're gonna go crazy either way.

[Tara]

I already know this. It's Usher's Love in the club.

[Kyle]

Oh my God, what a vibe.

[Host]

What is it about that song that you love?

[Tara]

Also in all Usher songs, I feel like he has that verse where he takes it like a little bit too far. No, he's kind of like, what are you doing? And I like. That's one of his best. I love the rap verse. And is it not a metaphor for the world? World? It is a club and there's love here. I think we should try to foster that.

[Host]

But he's talking about making love in the club. That's like a. That's.

[Tara]

Well, you can create love in like a not sexual way. Yeah.

[Host]

Okay, cool. Mine's gonna be lame, but I can't. I have to choose one.

[Tara]

Mm.

[Kyle]

Tara, guess what he's gonna say. I just wanna see what she guesses.

[Tara]

Well, I'm just like confused. Cause, like, haven't you answered this question? No, these are new. No, this is new.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Tara]

You seem like a grown up emo. So like something in that vein. Something indie maybe. Like, it's gonna be tasteful. It's gonna be much more tasteful than Usher, I think.

[Host]

You think? You would think. No, I think if I had to listen to one song the rest of my life just based on memories that are attached to it and what it means to my life.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Host]

Is Enter Sandman from Metallica.

[Tara]

Shut the up.

[Host]

That song, why quite literally Chad Barefield. If you're listening to this, if you're still alive, I don't know. But the day that we got Done skateboarding. And we went into your room and you said, hey, man, you have to check this out. And you put in the Black album. The first 30 seconds of that song changed my life. I went home and I told my dad, I want to play guitar, and that was it. And that changed the course of my life, that song. If I was a tattoo guy, I would 100% have something that has to do that song on my body. And I know people shit on Metallica now, but also, again, give. Fuck. That was amazing to me. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Tara, you reacted to that. What was that reaction?

[Tara]

I was like, literally listening to that on my way over here.

[Host]

Are you a Metallica fan?

[Tara]

This is, like, really dorky. I'm a big sports person. Mariano Rivera. It's one of the greatest closing pitchers for the New York Yankees. And that was his, like, walk up song. And so I have, like, a playlist of, like, walk up songs for my favorite baseball players.

[Kyle]

Okay, stop. I love that. So you enjoy that song, though?

[Tara]

Yeah, I love that song.

[Kyle]

She loves that song. Okay, we've got Usher, Metallica.

[Tara]

Love it.

[Kyle]

Okay, okay, I'm asking this question before we get into, like, the spicier ones, because you're a. You enjoy consuming tv, Kyle, and you're a TV writer and producer and all that. So what show would you choose if you had to be trapped in a TV show for a month? And who would you be as the character?

[Tara]

Like, which character would be like. Yeah, yeah, I love Broad City, so I'd probably have to pick that. I'd like to be, like, my own person in that world.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

But I frequently get told that I give, like, Samantha from Sex of the City.

[Kyle]

I can see that.

[Tara]

And like, you know what? She's a hot blonde, she has a great career, she's rich, and she lives in, like, an amazing city. So, like, I would. I would take that existence, too.

[Kyle]

I love that. I love that. Actually, that's a fan. I love Broad City, by the way.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

So what I'm about to say is probably gonna wrap this date up and I'm really sorry.

[Kyle]

It was nice to meet you. Before you speak.

[Host]

No, it's. You want real. I would love to be Dexter. Like, if I could fly.

[Kyle]

She goes, I'm gonna go.

[Host]

Yeah, yeah, that's.

[Tara]

No, no, no. Like, there's like, a short little Dexter.

[Host]

No, no, no, no.

[Tara]

Oh, serial killer Dexter.

[Kyle]

I love that. You were thinking Dexter's laboratory.

[Host]

What a nerd.

[Kyle]

Are you kidding me?

[Tara]

I would have loved.

[Host]

I just want to be in a lab all the time.

[Kyle]

No, he's so cool, and he's like. I don't know how he talks. I can't do it. My laboratory or whatever.

[Host]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kyle]

I fucking suck at accents.

[Host]

No, no.

[Kyle]

Dexter.

[Host]

HBO show. Yeah, yeah. What? You can't be mad at my answer for asking me a question.

[Tara]

How do you feel?

[Host]

Oh, sorry, sorry. Let me. Let me. I would be Ross from Friends. Like, you know what I mean?

[Tara]

That I would leave that.

[Host]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Tara]

So I love, like, bad methods, good reasons, and, like, people on TV in my life. I have kind of committed a little bit of that, so.

[Kyle]

Of serial killing?

[Tara]

Not serial killing. Okay.

[Kyle]

Just.

[Host]

You can tell me. It's okay.

[Tara]

No.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Host]

That could be our first date.

[Tara]

Wow.

[Host]

We'll pick someone else out on the beach.

[Tara]

Oh, my God. Before or after we eat our little picnic?

[Host]

Well, we have to have energy.

[Kyle]

You're not gonna have energy because there's so many things on the food list. You're gonna be falling asleep at the end.

[Tara]

All those grapes.

[Kyle]

All the grapes and the meats and the. Okay. Anyway. Bad methods, good reasons. Okay, yeah. So you get it.

[Tara]

As long as you're not, like, serial killing like, me or any of the homies or like, my mom.

[Host]

Well, if your mom or any of the homies are bad people that do things that slip through the cracks of the justice system, then they're gonna find. They're gonna taste my blade.

[Tara]

I don't think anyone I love does anything that, like, would, like, be interested in.

[Host]

Have you seen Dexter?

[Tara]

I have not. I get the gist, but so much deeper.

[Kyle]

Okay, okay. Moving on, moving on. He's ruining dates left and right, I swear. Okay, so we are going to go into. Because this is flown by, we're gonna go into the spicy questions. And, like, I always tell people, if you do not want to answer any, you just say, I don't want to answer those. And I go, yes, ma'am. How important is sex to you in a relationship?

[Tara]

Yeah, it's pretty important. I'm so sorry. Was I supposed to answer first?

[Kyle]

No.

[Tara]

I mean, because I joke.

[Host]

Go for it.

[Kyle]

Absolutely no.

[Tara]

Last boyfriend I had, we were together for five years. And it ultimately ended because he was, like, kind of going down the route of being, like, a qanon conspiracy theorist. But reason number two, he was bad in bed.

[Kyle]

He was bad in bed. And you were patient for five years.

[Tara]

I know. I tried so hard.

[Host]

Oh, so you communicated and, like.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Oh, my God, of course. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Did you try and, like, help him out? Like, teach him, or. It's, like, not your job.

[Tara]

I tried, and then sometimes I'd be like, this is. This is a lot of effort. It's a lot of effort.

[Host]

Was it now, obviously, guarding people's feelings here? Was it. He wasn't receiving the criticism well and wasn't changing his methods or he just. There was something about the rhythm of his cadence with sex that just wasn't vibing with you.

[Tara]

There's a saying that, like, hot people are not good in bed because they.

[Host]

Don'T have to be.

[Tara]

They don't have to be. And he was, like, very conventionally handsome. So I think this is the first time I was, like, his first, like, real girlfriend. And, like, the first time he had to keep trying because it was the first time he was consistently, like, sleeping with somebody.

[Host]

Right. So he could just do, like, the. Hit it and quit it and not get feedback.

[Tara]

Didn't have to get. Yeah. So I think that's kind of what it was.

[Kyle]

And this wasn't Hawaii Man.

[Tara]

No, but. So he was my rebound after Hawaii Man.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

And I was like, I'm single finally. Because I was with that guy for, like, four years.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

I'm gonna. I have a conquest. It's going to be this, like, hot dude.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

And then he ended up being, like, so nice and so sweet, and then he, like, stuck around for five years.

[Host]

So.

[Kyle]

So now, moving forward, are you like, I will never do that again for five years. Where it's like, if we don't match sexually, I'm not.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

I had a lot of guilt, like, feeling that way.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

But I don't know. Not anymore. No, no, no.

[Kyle]

You're 31. How about you, Kyle? How important is it to you?

[Host]

I have more questions.

[Kyle]

Oh, okay.

[Host]

And then we'll get into it. Sure. When? Because. Because of that situation and sexual compatibility. How soon do you like to find out how sexually compatible you are with someone?

[Tara]

I guess it depends on the person. Like, I'm not going to rush things, but, like, I've put out on a first date before and, like, dated that person. So, like, it's not a big deal.

[Host]

Yeah, no, it's not. It's. It's 100%, like, up to the you two and the little world that you've created in Whatever. Whatever feels good. I was just curious because.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Do you mean about communicating or, like.

[Host]

No, just. I want to. I was just curious is, like, if it's important to me.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

It's like. It's like, gathering data. It's like, hey, oh, I like talking to you. We have fun together. We like being around each other. Those are data points. I would rather get to all of it sooner so I can make a. A more educated decision on whether or not this is gonna work, as opposed to. Because what's. What would suck is you keep pushing that off. Keep pushing that off, and you grow emotionally attached to someone, and then you find that out and you're like, oh, no, I see.

[Tara]

I see what you're saying. Yeah. I will say, if we're getting, like, date five and it hasn't happened, I'll start being like, oh, okay, what's going on?

[Kyle]

Right.

[Tara]

Yeah, that's really far. I think that. So for me, with a dog that doesn't do well around strangers, like, I'm not gonna just bring over anybody for sure. And so, like, someone's, like, patience and, like, willing to work with that, though. It's like a big green flag to me.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

And also, you could get murdered.

[Tara]

My dog will not let anyone murder me.

[Kyle]

True. And also, you're starting to concern me as well as most likely the listeners with. Now, you've talked about murder twice in this episode. Oh, and then you talked about murder the last episode as well. Do we need to call the authorities?

[Host]

I like murder. So what? I like murder documentaries. I listen to metal, and most of the. Most of the subject matter is dark, murderous things. That doesn't mean I'm a murderer or a bad person.

[Kyle]

Clip this. Clips of this. If he ever kills me, come after me.

[Host]

FBI.

[Kyle]

Okay, moving on. Do you consider yourself adventurous in the bedroom, both of you?

[Host]

No, no, no.

[Kyle]

Are you becoming adventurous in the bedroom?

[Host]

No. And I'll tell you. I'll tell you why. To me, sex isn't like a performance or a play that you're putting on. It's a way to show up authentically. And it is. It's. To me, it's the deepest connection you can have with someone. So all I'm concerned about is connecting with someone. I'm not like, oh, we gotta try this to spice it up. It's like, if. If it's. If the connection is real, there's a separate realm that you enter where you're not really thinking about those things. To me, anyway. Like, it's like, sex is sex. Is it? Sex is exciting enough if it's with the right person. To me, if it's like, oh, this is starting to get boring, or I need to, like, try to think about, like, I need to try this thing or this thing. I mean, let's be real. Mechanically. Mechanically. All that's happening is you can only put yourself into someone so many ways. You know what I mean? And it's only. It's only a couple motions. It's. No one's inventing anything new, is what I'm saying. And the good old fashioned missionary position with being able to look at someone and. And. And like, experience them and like the skin to skin contact, everything that's good enough because that's just how it mechanically was meant to happen. As long as you and I communicate and we both know that we have each other's best interests in mind and we feel safe and we know what's on the table or off the table. I. I think you can be more creative in confines with a box than you can with just so many option paralysis kind of things.

[Kyle]

Like with your partner.

[Host]

Yes, exactly.

[Kyle]

Because he. Yes, because you are. I was gonna say you're like, down for it all.

[Host]

Yeah, no, like, I'm not hanging upside down and you're not gonna peg me and we're not gonna like, like all that. You know what I mean?

[Kyle]

Okay, Tara, let's hear your thoughts on this. She's just been. Are you adventurous in the bedroom?

[Tara]

Yeah, I'll try anything twice. Yeah, it's like, hey. Kind of my mantra. I do think, like, being single for so long, you know, I've dabbled in different things, but I do think kinky shit has been so, like, over amplified and commodified that it's like, it doesn't always have to be fucking weird. Okay?

[Kyle]

Everyone loves to be weird.

[Tara]

It doesn't always have to be weird.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Host]

Yeah, it doesn't have to be weird.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

You mean like when you say it doesn't always have to be weird that the stigma of having things doesn't have to be seen as weird or we don't have to push such weird kinks all the time?

[Tara]

Yeah, the latter is what I'm referring to.

[Host]

But what if that's, like, what you're into?

[Tara]

Well, I mean, like, I'm down to clown, you know? I'll try. Yeah.

[Kyle]

Just not if. Not with the guys in the cars. The clown cars.

[Tara]

No, not. No, she's down to clown.

[Kyle]

Another way.

[Host]

What if that was my fantasy is to. Is to dress up as a clown, pull up to your house in a Fiat, and we clown around.

[Kyle]

She's gonna be dry.

[Tara]

I was literally just gonna say that.

[Kyle]

Very.

[Host]

Yeah. And I need you to also be like a clown or like a circus worker because. I don't know. You wanted to talk about fantasy.

[Tara]

Let's get the jug I definitely don't have like a clown fantasy though.

[Host]

Oh yeah, me neither.

[Tara]

Sorry. No, no. Are you sure? I'm sorry. I should create a safer space.

[Host]

No, I really, I really, I don't have a clown fantasy. I don't have any. I. I don't have fantasies.

[Kyle]

This isn't even on my list. But I'm gonna ask. Would you consider yourself in the bedroom dominant, submissive? Both or you're not sure?

[Tara]

I could do a little bit of both.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

If I'm like the only dominant one, I'm like, this is a fucking job. I am clocking in, I am managing somebody.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

And then we're like clocking out. It's like too much. I've like been in those dynamics before and it's fucking exhausting. But I think I'm also, I don't know, completely submissive. I'm like, get over yourself. Like, little ego check.

[Kyle]

You like both. Okay.

[Tara]

Yeah. There has to be a balance, right? Yeah.

[Kyle]

Kyle.

[Host]

Yeah. I, I just, I'm a dominant. I can't. If I can't relinquish control like that.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

Because it's not fun for me.

[Tara]

Doesn't feel like a job to you?

[Host]

Not at all, no. Like, I like working.

[Tara]

Okay. You know, good.

[Host]

Like, I like control. Gently controlling the situation.

[Tara]

Uh huh.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Host]

I'm not like, I don't want to hurt people, but I'm also, you know, I'm going to be assertive with my movements and things that are gonna happen.

[Tara]

Kept man who cooks and cleans home and then is dominant in the bedroom. It's like.

[Kyle]

Right. You would think. And if he were lying, I'd call him out, but he's not.

[Host]

So, so what's the problem?

[Kyle]

Huh?

[Host]

Where is all. Where, where is she at?

[Tara]

It's the fact that you keep referring to murder.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

That's like, I'm a little iffy about that.

[Kyle]

There we go. Scorpio murder. We've got the list of the bad things.

[Host]

But. But, oh, wouldn't that make you feel like, seen and protected to know that I could. I have the capacity to go there if I need to.

[Kyle]

And also in danger, in grave danger.

[Host]

But isn't that kind of sexy?

[Tara]

Like, unfortunately, I do see what you're saying.

[Host]

Unfortunately, like, like you know that at any moment I could just take your life. But I. But I'm not going to. And I'm going to reserve that for someone who's trying to hurt us. You know what I mean?

[Kyle]

She's rolling her eyes.

[Tara]

Sorry. Like, I see what you're saying, yeah, some.

[Kyle]

I know a lot of my girlfriends are like. They don't like. Like, the. More I don't even want to call it, traditionally.

[Tara]

Yeah, I know what you're saying. I have a friend who's like, tara, you always date, like, these big men. Like, aren't you scared? I'm, like, scared of what? She's like, you can't fight them.

[Host]

Why do you want to?

[Tara]

And I was like, girl, do you only pick men you think you could fight?

[Kyle]

You size them up. I can't take him. He's not the one.

[Host]

That's fine.

[Kyle]

Oh, my God. Start taking Jiu jitsu. Because I could. I promise you can fight most people if you do. Okay. It's morning sex or evening sex.

[Tara]

I just gotta brush my teeth.

[Kyle]

You got. Okay. That's all same.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

So would you prefer morning over evening, or are you like, evening? But if they want to do morning, I'm fine.

[Tara]

Yeah. Pretty much just depends what I have going on that day.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Tara]

Yeah, right.

[Kyle]

Okay, Carl. Well, it's a term of disrespect.

[Tara]

That's rude.

[Host]

Genetically.

[Kyle]

Oh, here we go.

[Tara]

Oh.

[Kyle]

Oh, God.

[Tara]

I do. Yeah. Okay.

[Host]

I'm sorry, but. But the way our, like. You want to talk about moons controlling things?

[Kyle]

What?

[Host]

Morning wood is a. Is a. Is a. Is a real thing. And there's a reason for that. There's a. There's a book called Sex at Dawn that goes into that. But, like, there's a reason why morning sex is, like, a thing. Because to me, I'm a sleepy boy.

[Tara]

Okay.

[Host]

Like, if you put it this way. If you start. If you start a movie past 6pm same. We're not finishing that movie because I'm gonna be asleep.

[Tara]

Yep, true.

[Host]

So if you're trying to go to the boneyard, you. We got a plan before.

[Tara]

You're not gonna perk up for that.

[Host]

I will. But I'll be sleepy. You know what I mean?

[Tara]

Weren't you just like. I like to be dominant. I like to work.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Do you know how energy it takes.

[Host]

To be dominant and work? I have to be up for it, Right? So.

[Kyle]

So are you pitching morning sex or afternoon sex? What? Or early evening, 4pm it has to be early evening.

[Tara]

Early evening.

[Host]

Early evening. Preferably before dinner or morning. But if we're. But if we're gonna do it at night, let's make sure that it's, like, on a weekend so we can sleep in the next day. If I have to get up at 4 in the morning the next day, and we're and it's like rounding 9:00. Okay, you better not expect much because I'm. We're getting this done and we're sleeping.

[Kyle]

Best dating advice you've. Oh, no, we're not doing that one. We are doing your ideal first date.

[Tara]

I like the other one.

[Kyle]

Okay, we are doing best dating advice you've ever been given. I love this. Best dating advice.

[Tara]

Okay, you can't make anybody love you. And I think that's like very depressing because you're so powerless in this situation. But at the same time, like, you will show up with your imperfections, insecurities, your baggage, and someone will just choose you as you are. You don't have to do anything because you can't make anybody love you. I love that.

[Kyle]

I love that. You hear that, ladies? Don't chase them. Don't chase them. They're not worth it. Okay, moving on. Triggered.

[Tara]

She's not wrong.

[Host]

She's not wrong. You had a great answer. That was a wonderful answer. Yeah, I've already said this though.

[Kyle]

Well, think of another one, Kai.

[Host]

Okay, best dating event.

[Tara]

All right, well, you can talk about your ideal first date then.

[Host]

Okay. My ideal first date.

[Tara]

Sorry I changed the rules.

[Kyle]

I don't know, I'll just leave.

[Tara]

I'll just go.

[Host]

Ideal first date. I love. And I've gotten some pushback on this and I know that it's kind of like people see it as a cop out, but I really don't like, I want to. I want a setting where I'm going to get to know you and I'm actually going to see you for who you are. So I like a daylight date because a candle lit restaurant can really woo you because the atmosphere is also romantic and it can kind of bleed into some false feelings you may be feeling.

[Tara]

Sure.

[Host]

So I love a day date that is very low barrier. Not only for. And I want to meet there. I don't want to pick each other up, I want to meet there. And I. And I want to make it so there is an out that we both know is there. So it's like something very low key. It's like, let's go split a dessert, let's go, let's go to the beach, let's grab some ice cream, let's just walk and talk. Like I want to get to know you and ask the questions and see you in the daytime without any frills, fancy clothes, getting dressed up. Because again, those things can really flavor something that might not actually be there. And after that first date, if I reflect on like, how you made me feel and how I felt around you and, like, did we have good conversation? And I like you. If I like you in the daytime with just normal clothes on and we can just have a conversation, I'm gonna like you at a candle at dinner. But a lot of times it's not the other way around. It's really easy to like, especially being a guy. Like, I've said this before. We're dumb. There's a pretty girl in front of us. Sometimes our brain shuts off, and we actually don't like that person. We like the fantasy of what we're seeing. So I want to. I want to see the real you. And I know it's really hard to show up as the real you on first dates for some people, but I want to see as close to the real you as I can.

[Tara]

That's a good answer. I'm glad I didn't answer that, because my ideal first date is, like, hibachi. I want to know if you can.

[Kyle]

Catch fried rice in your mouth. Oh, that's sick.

[Host]

That's cool. I can definitely do that.

[Kyle]

You could get down with that. And Kyle says daytime day, because he's literally sleep asleep before the sun goes down. Don't let him fool you. Anyway, keep going.

[Tara]

No, no, I get that my usual first date is like, a slice of pie at House of Pie. So that it's like, hell, yeah. You want to go? Where do you live? Yeah, I live in Burbank.

[Host]

I love how it's.

[Tara]

Okay, you're good, you're good. You're good.

[Kyle]

Of pies, I would get. We would walk down or. No, we never walked down there. We should have. We lived, like, four minutes. But I would get them delivered. Their House of Pies and Los Feliz. If you'd like to sponsor this podcast, we'd love to have you. Coconut cream pie and their chocolate cream pie.

[Tara]

Yeah, I like to go there and act like I've never been there. And then the guy will be like, oh, my God, let's just order every slice and figure out which one we like.

[Host]

And I'm like, well, we're definitely not doing that.

[Kyle]

Why?

[Host]

Because now I know.

[Tara]

Now you know. Now you know. Yeah. Yeah.

[Kyle]

What's your favorite pie?

[Tara]

I really like the Dutch apple.

[Kyle]

Never had it there. Does it come with ice cream, though?

[Tara]

Fuck, yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay, good. I'm not having apple pie without ice cream. I'm not a serial killer. I'm not a. I'm not a serial killer. That was not worth it. All that time okay. Okay. We're gonna have you get the fuck out of here for now. So I can ask. So what is gonna happen? So you know, Tara, is Kyle's gonna be brought into a room where he can't hear you, he can't see you.

[Tara]

Oh, no, he's not gonna go in that room.

[Kyle]

No, he's not gonna hear me. Some of the girls are like, oh, yeah, you can't hear me or see me.

[Host]

I'm like, no, for real, that's fucking terrible.

[Kyle]

And then I'm gonna just get your thoughts and then vice versa. You will be brought into fun, A dark. No, you won't be brought into a dark senses limiting room. Anyway, get out of here.

[Host]

Get out of here before you say anything.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Host]

Just. Just know that, that this. I had a good time. This was fun.

[Kyle]

Before I get into your thoughts. And I haven't done this on any other episode but one of the girls in Ashton, I'll just say. So our friends and, and listeners know, she actually asked me because she didn't know that we used to be engaged. She asked me a couple questions. So is there any questions you have for me before we get into your thoughts?

[Tara]

So I think as somebody who has also ended long term relationships, I get it. We mourn the shorter ones because we are feeling like we're missing out on the potential and what could have been. When you've been with someone for so long, you've traveled down every road, you know where they all end.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

In a way, there's like a lot of closure there.

[Kyle]

Yes. Yeah, exactly. Like sometimes you could be in this beautiful relationship and a lot of times, like talking to my girlfriends, it's like they're like, there's nothing wrong, but sometimes you just have to go like, oh, I appreciate every single moment I had with that person. But we're in two different places now. We've grown, we evolved, and we're not on the same pages anymore.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

No, that's beautiful. That's life. You guys grew up together.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

It's really nice.

[Kyle]

Well, thank you. I'm glad you feel that way.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay, so overall, how did you feel about this? How did you feel about Kyle? Are you going to get a possible restraining order on him because of all the murders he's been talking about?

[Tara]

I think he's so lovely. He's so nice. Like, well done.

[Kyle]

Thank you. Thank you.

[Tara]

I think I would see him again. Do you think I was like busting his balls a little bit too much? No, because I was really holding back.

[Kyle]

Really yeah. That's amazing. Okay. I have to tell you, you don't know this, but our listener friends do on, like, Tip Top. One of his, like, he loves. He always says he's like, I really love someone who could riff with me. He always says that and sense of humor and isn't like, can go back and forth. And that's what you guys.

[Tara]

Someone who can keep up.

[Kyle]

Keep up.

[Tara]

That's what I'm looking for.

[Kyle]

Exactly.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay. I was. I didn't even get into the questions of, like, what's your ideal partner? What's your. Can you give us a quick. Like, give us a quick rundown? We're doing this all out of order.

[Tara]

But I love it.

[Kyle]

Yeah. Who's your. What's your ideal partner?

[Tara]

This is funny. I've actually been thinking about this a lot because I'm someone who's really prone to forbidding crushes. My current one is my gynecologist.

[Kyle]

Stop.

[Tara]

Yeah. Yeah. Hot, though. Hard as fuck.

[Kyle]

Stop.

[Tara]

Sorry.

[Kyle]

You're gonna give me the doctor's office when I get out of here.

[Tara]

But, like, I really value the care that I receive from him, so I'm like, okay, what is it about this person that makes me so drawn to him?

[Kyle]

Right.

[Tara]

I think he makes me laugh during, like, hard times, uncomfortable times.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Tara]

He creates, like, a space for me to feel like I feel safe enough to be vulnerable and to, like, be scared because I am always putting on a brave face.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Tara]

He's, like, really passionate when he slips.

[Kyle]

The fingies up there. Yeah. He.

[Tara]

It was like, he just, like. As he says, he's, like, fresh out of academia, and so he's, like, living his dream. It's really ambitious. That's, like, nice.

[Kyle]

I see a photo of this guy.

[Tara]

Here's the thing.

[Kyle]

I won't take him.

[Tara]

No? No.

[Kyle]

Okay, let's see.

[Tara]

When I saw his little professional headshot in the waiting room of this doctor's office, I was like, oh, that's fucking dweeb charity work. Like, you're welcome. He walks into the room. He doesn't have this, like, dumbass slick back. In fact, he has this, like, one curl that hangs out on his forehead. I'm like, in the stirrups, and I just want to, like, push it out of his.

[Kyle]

Do you think there's a. Have you ever gotten the vibe of, like. I love how this is. This is where we're at now, and we're talking about your guy, and I'm being like, okay, so do you think it's a match?

[Tara]

I don't think I should go there. I don't want to get him in trouble.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Tara]

But I am like, what is it about him that makes me so drawn to him?

[Kyle]

Okay. And this is where we're going. Okay. So you're listing all the things. Sorry, I listed them. All right. We got distracted.

[Tara]

I thought he was hot.

[Kyle]

I know. Okay, so he makes you feel you are a vulnerable. Do you think you're naturally vulnerable with most people?

[Tara]

Absolutely not. No, no. I'm like really combative when it comes to vulnerability.

[Kyle]

Really?

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

That's so interesting because I don't get the vibe from you of that. But then I also do because I feel like we're similar in a lot of ways. While I'll use my humor or my whatever sometimes to sometimes put up walls.

[Tara]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

Just cause I feel safer there. Yeah.

[Tara]

Yeah. That's 100% it, so.

[Kyle]

Well, that's a good quality where you guys can banter and go back and forth. Woo. I'm hot now. Because we're talking about the guy now. Love him for us. I'm about to get a new guy now.

[Tara]

I'm just kidding.

[Kyle]

He's great.

[Tara]

He really is.

[Kyle]

Anyway, so you do. So you feel like. Any negatives about Kyle? You want to listen?

[Tara]

See, I don't know. Okay. The way like my scale of things is like we go on a date and it's like, do I want to know more about this person? And at the end of this, like, yes, absolutely I do. That's where I'm at.

[Kyle]

Great.

[Tara]

I haven't seen anything like bad or alarming.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Tara]

I mean, we did this all with fiance beside him.

[Kyle]

Like maybe that. Just so you know, for date two, if there's a date too, I am not going to be there next to you. Will I maybe be in the car outside of the place? Will I maybe be in the corner with our producer? But you won't see us. We'll wear masks or some shit.

[Tara]

Sure, sure. You need to wear a hat.

[Kyle]

A hat. A mustache.

[Tara]

That's only acceptable.

[Kyle]

Okay, so this is great. Thank you so much for coming on. Do you have. And no worries if you don't want people to reach you, but do you have anything you want to plug? Any projects coming up? If anyone wants to reach out to you, Your Instagram page or are you like, I'm good. I'm staying private.

[Tara]

No, I mean I can give out my Instagram handle.

[Kyle]

Let's hear it.

[Tara]

It's my same screen name I've ever had since like seventh grade.

[Kyle]

Like AOL Yep. Okay.

[Tara]

It's the Terrar. T H E T E R A W R R. Two Rs, I think, like T. Rex.

[Kyle]

Rar or.

[Tara]

I don't know.

[Kyle]

Okay.

[Tara]

I honestly didn't make it up. One of my friends made it up.

[Kyle]

That's really cute. Cause mine was Abercrombie baby girl. 73. Fuck yeah. I'm sick to my stomach. I hate myself.

[Tara]

Why is that? Not steal your handle on everything you use?

[Kyle]

Abercrombie baby girl.

[Tara]

I'm gonna venmo you.

[Kyle]

You should. Okay. Anyway, well, thank you so much for coming on. Yeah. Do you have any projects you want to plug or are you good for now?

[Tara]

No, I'm good for now. Okay.

[Kyle]

Thank you so much for this.

[Tara]

Thank you.

[Kyle]

You're amazing.

[Tara]

Did I do okay? You killed it. I don't know. I'm just a regular person. I just like talking.

[Kyle]

You said that on the phone. You're like, I'm just a regular person. And I'm like, oh, yeah, that's fine. And then you come in here and you blow us all away, so.

[Tara]

Well, I don't know about that.

[Kyle]

Thank you so much. We're going to have Kyle come in now, but I'm going to give you a little huggy.

[Tara]

Cool.

[Host]

Smells like girls over here.

[Kyle]

So how did you feel? I love Tara.

[Host]

Yeah, apparently.

[Kyle]

But not in a way of like, I want to go on a date.

[Host]

You go on a House of Pies, you're from the same part of New York. You know what I mean? Scissor Sisters over here. What was the question?

[Kyle]

How did you feel about Tara?

[Host]

I think Tara's really cool. I think. I think we had some telepathic communication moments. Especially in the game. She feels. She feels like, you know, when you meet someone, friend, whatever, they're going to be in your life and you're just like, oh, comfortable with this person, like, right off the bat, even though, like, like, say. Say we were at like a party with friends or whatever, I feel like, like, like we would just vibe. I know I use that a lot. That.

[Kyle]

No, you don't use it a lot. You said it about Ashton, though.

[Host]

Yeah, no, but. No, but it's true, though. It's like. It's like, oh, I don't see a point where we would talk and it would lull, you know, where you're like, so, you know.

[Kyle]

Right.

[Host]

No, I think it would. It's like a total. I just feel very comfortable. That's the biggest thing for me when it comes to finding someone you want to be with. It's how you. It's, it's, it's checking in with, like, how do you feel? Are you anxious? Are you calm? Are you happy? Are you sad? You know, some people make you like, ooh, yeah. No, she's like, totally. She can give it, take it.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Host]

This is very important.

[Kyle]

Yeah. And same with humor. She asked me, she was like, was I a little too rough on him with the humor? And she was like, because I was holding back of it. And I was like, no, you were great. And I told her, I was like, his, like one of his main things is banter.

[Host]

Yeah. Banter is everything. Yeah, banter's absolutely everything.

[Kyle]

Is she a possibility now? Don't spoil it. Because next episode, listener friends, we will be reviewing all the girls sort of in detail, your thoughts now that you've sat on, like all of the dates.

[Host]

Yeah.

[Kyle]

And hopefully Kyle will be picking a date, but maybe he won't be. So is that, Is she a possibility for date for another date?

[Host]

I mean, wouldn't that give it away if I said yes or no?

[Kyle]

I'll do something here, go. I don't know.

[Host]

Okay. Okay. I don't know.

[Kyle]

I guess you'll have to tune in next week.

[Host]

I guess we'll see. So far out of these four, they all have their, their pluses and their minuses. And I think that we've had great conversation with all. I think it's really going to come down to values. Who makes me feel the most comfortable and who I can see myself, like, just, like, getting to know better.

[Kyle]

Yeah.

[Host]

You know, it's, it's, it really comes down to simple things. Like, again, looks. Looks are a big part of it, of course, but again, looks fade. My looks are going to fade. Their looks are going to fade over time. Yeah, whatever. I have, like, literally not even reach my peak yet.

[Kyle]

Okay. Anyway, so thank you all for tuning in. I'm very excited for next episode. So Kyle's done with the in studio dates we've had. We have our four girls. The next episode, we are going to sort of review them all. I'm going to get your honest thoughts now that I'm going to give my honest thoughts on who I think the best matches. And then we're gonna do things like go through their Instagram pages. Maya, who's from Hinge, I'm gonna have Kyle look through her profile and he's gonna get to know more about, like, who he met and then who they sort of how they present themselves to the world.

[Host]

This is new. I didn't know this.

[Kyle]

Yeah, well, I just decided it, and I think it's a great idea, so.

[Host]

Okay.

[Kyle]

So I'm very excited for that. This is fun. You guys tune in next week to hear us talk about the girls, and Kyle will be deciding if he's taking someone on a second date, and you'll find out who next week. Thank you all for tuning in to the Date My podcast season one, Date my Ex. And we will see you next week.

[Host]

Cue the music.