A Hunk a Hunk of Burning Lies: Part 2

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dating Detectives – "A Hunk a Hunk of Burning Lies: Part 2"

Episode Overview In the gripping second installment of "A Hunk a Hunk of Burning Lies," host Mackenzie Fultz and comedian Hanna Anderson delve deeper into the tumultuous relationship of Kylie and Peter. This episode unravels the layers of deceit, manipulation, and betrayal that marked their decade-long marriage, shedding light on the red flags within the world of Elvis tribute artists (ETAs) and the dangers lurking in seemingly perfect relationships.

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1. Relationship Beginnings and Red Flags Kylie, described as an "old soul" and an Elvis connoisseur, meets Peter, a world-class Elvis impersonator, at one of his performances. Their bond forms over shared interests in Elvis and mid-century culture, leading to a seemingly idyllic relationship.

• Quote [01:23]: "Kylie is an old soul. She did like some pinup modeling. She loves older music. So she, like, knows Elvis. She's not like an Elvis. Like, oh, yeah, I like Elvis. She, like, is an Elvis scholar." – Mackenzie Fultz

Despite their strong connection, Peter reveals a past filled with infidelity, setting the stage for future complications.

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2. Initial Signs of Trouble The first significant red flag emerges when Kylie discovers a questionable photo on Peter's phone, sparking suspicions about his fidelity.

• Quote [03:20]: "So he deletes it, and I'm like, okay, we're gonna go. Like we just. We need to go." – Kylie

This incident introduces the concept of DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender), a manipulative tactic Peter employs to deflect blame and paint himself as the victim.

• Quote [03:35]: "Darvo is when you make yourself become the victim. So Darvo actually stands for deny, attack and reverse victim and offender." – Hanna Anderson

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3. Escalation of Deceit and Betrayal As time progresses, Peter's behavior becomes increasingly erratic. Kylie notices his deeper involvement in karate, initially seen as a positive outlet, but later reveals his struggle with commitment and purpose.

• Quote [08:23]: "He was almost to the point where he's going to pack up a bag and go to his mom's and I'm like, why are you mad?" – Kylie

The COVID-19 pandemic brings temporary solace as Kylie and Peter plan their future together, adopting a kitten named Bruce and envisioning an Elvis-themed wedding.

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4. The Shattering Revelation Just months after their vow renewal, Kylie receives shocking messages from two women claiming to have been in relationships with Peter. The revelation is swift and devastating, exposing Peter's betrayal on an unprecedented scale.

• Quote [26:06]: "They sent me receipts that were like 900, like 300. Like. Yeah, they sent me cash." – Kylie

Kylie uncovers multiple affairs, each more deceitful than the last, coupled with Peter's substance abuse issues, including cocaine and Adderall use.

• Quote [54:43]: "They said that they're sleeping with him and one has been for a full two and a half years." – Kylie

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5. Confrontation and Collapse Upon confronting Peter with the evidence, his facade crumbles. Instead of taking responsibility, he attempts to manipulate the situation further, embodying the DARVO tactic once again.

• Quote [32:22]: "I just kept crying and cry. All I could really say in that moment was, you need to get out. You need to leave the apartment, please." – Kylie

Peter's departure leaves Kylie isolated, both emotionally and financially, forcing her to seek refuge with her family and rebuild her life from scratch.

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6. The Aftermath and Continuing Struggles As Kylie navigates life without Peter, the podcast highlights the lingering effects of emotional abuse and deceit. Peter's sporadic attempts at communication and continued unfaithfulness create a maze of confusion and heartbreak for Kylie.

• Quote [75:26]: "This isn't the son I raised." – Peter's Mother

Kylie's journey underscores the complexities of leaving a manipulative relationship, especially when intertwined with shared passions and careers.

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7. Insights and Lessons Learned The hosts use Kylie's story to discuss broader themes such as recognizing red flags, the importance of consent, and understanding manipulative behaviors like DARVO. They emphasize that the responsibility lies with the perpetrator, not the victim, and encourage listeners to trust their intuition and seek support when needed.

• Quote [98:03]: "Darvo is when you deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. That's what he did." – Hanna Anderson

• Quote [105:23]: "No, no can be anytime, anytime. And..." – Hannah Anderson

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8. Community and Support The episode concludes with an invitation for listeners to share their own stories and seek support through the podcast's Patreon community. The hosts acknowledge the bravery of individuals like Kylie who open up about their experiences, aiming to foster a supportive environment for healing and empowerment.

• Quote [111:34]: "Every single conversation we have on the show... is going to make a difference in someone's life." – Hanna Anderson

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Conclusion "A Hunk a Hunk of Burning Lies: Part 2" offers a profound exploration of trust, betrayal, and resilience within the dating world. Through Kylie's harrowing experience, listeners are reminded of the importance of self-worth, the vigilance required in relationships, and the strength found in community support.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• [03:35] "Darvo is when you make yourself become the victim. So Darvo actually stands for deny, attack and reverse victim and offender." – Hanna Anderson
• [08:23] "He was almost to the point where he's going to pack up a bag and go to his mom's and I'm like, why are you mad?" – Kylie
• [26:06] "They sent me receipts that were like 900, like 300. Like. Yeah, they sent me cash." – Kylie
• [54:43] "They said that they're sleeping with him and one has been for a full two and a half years." – Kylie
• [32:22] "I just kept crying and cry. All I could really say in that moment was, you need to get out. You need to leave the apartment, please." – Kylie
• [75:26] "This isn't the son I raised." – Peter's Mother
• [98:03] "Darvo is when you deny, attack, and reverse victim and offender. That's what he did." – Hanna Anderson
• [105:23] "No, no can be anytime, anytime. And..." – Hanna Anderson
• [111:34] "Every single conversation we have on the show... is going to make a difference in someone's life." – Hanna Anderson

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Final Thoughts Kylie's story is a poignant reminder that even the most seemingly perfect relationships can harbor deep-seated issues. "The Dating Detectives" podcast continues to serve as a beacon for those navigating the complexities of modern dating, offering insights, support, and a platform for sharing invaluable personal experiences.

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For more episodes and to support the podcast, visit InvestigatetheDatingDetectivesPodcast.com. Join the Patreon community for exclusive content and interactive sessions with experts.

Transcript

[A]

The following program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-777, 233 for support.

[B]

Happy Monday. Well, I don't know. I don't know how happy this is going to be because, you guys.

[A]

It's happy because we're together. But yes, let's hold hands as we move into part two.

[B]

Happy Dating Detectives Monday. So, real quick, before we get into this episode, the triggers, the trigger warnings, I'm just going to tell you, there's a little bit of talk of abortion, there's talk of violent drugs, a little bit drug abuse. So we're going to talk about those things, too. So if you're sensitive to any of those, I just wanted to give you. Not very much. I don't want to too, too, too much great depth. But I just wanted to kind of let you guys know.

[A]

Elvis is going to really break our hearts.

[B]

Yeah. So we left off with Kylie basically seeing a titty picture on Peter's phone.

[A]

I know we both wrote crazy notes and I just have, like, really big boob pic writt down. If you haven't listened to part one, go listen to part one. But if we're refreshing memories, Kylie is an old soul. She did like some pinup modeling. She loves older music. So she, like, knows Elvis. She's not like an Elvis. Like, oh, yeah, I like Elvis. She, like, is an Elvis scholar.

[B]

Connoisseur.

[A]

Yeah, connoisseur. So when she meets Peter, who is an Elvis tribute artist, which I learned.

[B]

World champion, like Elvis impersonator.

[A]

Yes. And they call them literally like ETA wives, the people that are dating them, Elvish tribute artists. I was like, there's a whole world here. But yeah, so she is wooed by him during a performance, so they start a relationship. It's lovely. He did share with her that he had cheated in the past. And that's something I want to talk about in the Dogfish Debrief about revealing that early and what it means and how.

[B]

Yeah, I'm curious to know what other people think of that, too. Like, is that a good thing or a bad thing or whatever.

[A]

Yeah. Or both.

[B]

The second half of this episode gets it Just gets a little crazy. And so I. Yeah. Oh, man.

[A]

So she just found a picture on his phone of someone's boobs, and it sounds like they're not hers.

[B]

Yeah. And also, you guys, I know we say this every week, but thank you guys for always sharing dating detectives on your socials and sharing your story and being brave about that and giving other people inspiration to be brave also. So I really appreciate you guys for that. And don't forget to join our Patreon. It's $5 a month, and there's such an amazing community that you guys have created. So we'll link it in the show.

[A]

Notes and we'll go more details in the end because there's a lot of fun stuff coming up. But we want to get to part two.

[B]

Let's do it that way. Let's get into it.

[C]

And so he deletes it, and I'm like, okay, we're gonna go. Like, we just. We need to go. So we say our goodbyes, we get in the car, and the tables turn a little bit. Like, he starts getting mad at me.

[B]

Oh, here we go.

[A]

Darvo. Do you know what Darvo is? Have you heard of this actor?

[C]

No.

[B]

Darvo is when you make yourself become the victim. So Darvo actually stands for deny, attack and reverse victim and offender.

[A]

Does that sound familiar?

[C]

Yes. Yes, definitely.

[A]

Okay, let's hear.

[C]

So he starts getting mad at me. Like, it's been hard, and I can't believe you'd think anything. It's nothing, you know, it's just something my friend sent me. And I'm like, well, oddly enough, though, I said to me, it looks like a screen capture off of, like, a FaceTime or something.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

You know? And he's like, oh, no, it was something that my friend sent to me. I swear. I swear. And then I start thinking, you know, well, he did go through his camera roll. I saw nothing else. And then I'm like, well, do guys do that? Like, maybe they do, you know? So I.

[A]

Gross. But unfortunately, right?

[C]

So I'm running through all these scenarios in my head, and I didn't get, like a super. Like, it was kind of blurry. The photo was kind of dark, so I didn't get a super clear look. Like, I couldn't really tell who it was, but I had a feeling, and I still do, that it was Nancy, that it was the theater owner's daughter. And I thought it was weird, too, that I'm like, okay, well, if. Even if it is something that your friend sent you, like, why is it Saved on your phone. Like, I mean, you know, like I know guys kind of have like, you know, banks, you know, but like spank bank.

[A]

Disgusting.

[B]

Spank bank.

[C]

Right, exactly. Like, I know that exists and stuff. Sometimes that us, you know, you can, they're like celebrities or not that that's bad but you know, like they're, they're kind of unattainable.

[B]

Like yeah, it's not someone in your.

[A]

Personal life and not recently when you're in a relationship. Also, if it was her, I feel like he could have made an excuse and be like, she said she's crazy as a bedbug.

[B]

Of course.

[C]

I just forgot to do it, right? Like she said this to me and I forgot it was on my phone like anything, right? And I, and I mentioned that to him. I said that looks an awful lot like Nancy. Like was that. And he's like, oh my God, gross. He was so offended by that suggestion. So I was like, okay. He was very adamant that it was not. And like, how could you say that this person ruined my life? Like, why would I, you know? And I'm like, you're right, you're right.

[B]

That's a good point. Like she, she kind of ruins me, right?

[C]

Like everything he always said made sense. Like it always added up and it always, I always came around to feeling comforted in the end, you know. So we get back to my grandparents house and we're still fighting a bit about it. And he's almost to the point where he's going to pack up a bag and go to his mom's and I'm like, why are you mad? Like, why are you? Yeah, like, you know, like crazy. Well, he was saying, I can't believe you'd think this of me. And you know, like, I don't know, like since this has happened, our lives have been so difficult. And you know, this is more so though about the fact that this has happened to us. And it wasn't fair because it wasn't our doing. And I agreed with him. That's why I said, well, hang on a second. Put the bag down. Listen to what you're saying. You're not saying it's us, like it has nothing to do with us, but it has everything to do with what we went through and those people and just so don't, don't get mad at this. Like we're good. It's. It's what we're going through that sucks, you know. And he was like, you're right, you're right. And I ended up speaking with Some men in my life also about like, do y'all send each other pictures of. You know, And I got a pretty resounding, yes, that does happen. And sometimes we send jokes. And I was like, okay, so, like.

[B]

Maybe it could be that some. One of his friends just sent him that.

[C]

Yeah, exactly, exactly. It just. It just all kind of made sense to me. And because everything was so perfect and he never made me uncomfortable, and I'd never caught him doing anything, and he never disappeared. And this time too, he got really back into his karate. He'd always done karate from the moment I'd met him, but he really started to pour his heart into it at this time, too, because he started taking it, actually when he started doing Elvis to kind of perfect his stage moves and everything. And it started off as that, but it really grew to be a huge love of his. And he ended up teaching and all sorts of stuff. He was active in that community, and I thought that was a really good quality also. So when I saw how much that made him happy, I was like, you know what? Like, maybe pour your heart into that side of your life now, now that we're here, you can go back to your old dojo with your friends and really focus on that, and maybe that'll help you get through this hard time. And.

[A]

And were you able to go back to your job? Like, how is it getting started for you?

[C]

Yeah, thankfully. So, you know, for me, it sucked having to pull up to my old place of work after moving on from that, and it was very defeating. But, you know, I knew what had to be done. And it was hard to drive there every day after, you know, driving around Vegas and living this amazing life to just kind of this mundane, kind of.

[B]

Back to reality thing again.

[C]

You know, it's. It's hard to go backwards. So he would be at karate, and I loved that for him. I was. I was happy he was doing it, and I trusted that he was there. I trusted that that's what he was doing. Because I knew all these people. Yeah, I knew all these men. I knew all these mentors. I had been to classes with him, everything. So, you know, even though he was staying out kind of late or gone a lot or whatever, I was like, this is just his process. It never came between us. It was never weird. So after a little while, we end up finding a place because, you know, living with my grandparents, it was just. It was getting to be too much. And that was very strenuous on the relationship also. And he'd pick up the odd Elvis gig here and there, but again, because it's so not a thing here, it was. It was pretty inconsistent. And at that moment, he was questioning a lot of whether or not he wanted to keep doing it. Like, did this prevent him now? Is he never gonna get a good job in that field again? He was really going through that crossroads, you know?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So come spring, Covid hit.

[B]

And by this time, you're together, what, four years?

[C]

This was actually coming up on six. And despite all his problems and things he was going through with not having this job. And like I said, it was. It was a very heavy cloud that hung over us for a long time. Like, I was, like, very patient, but I was also getting to the point. Like I said, coming up on six years, like, are we gonna get married? Are we gonna buy a house? Are we gonna actually build something here? Or is this kind of just gonna be this wandering lifestyle and constant complaining about the what ifs and the regrets and, you know, it was starting to really affect me, and I became the one that was really depressed and stuff, because I'm like, I'm not getting any younger. Life is short. If this isn't gonna go in that direction, do I want to. As much as I love this relationship, do I want to stay with somebody who doesn't want to marry me and build a life with me in the way that I'm wanting? So he started to notice for sure. And that's when he started to come around and seem to be a little more positive and a little more sweet. And he comes up with this idea, we're going to adopt a kitten. Then all these things to kind of become more of a family. And I was really happy about that. I'd always wanted a cat, and so that made me really happy and excited.

[A]

And that's also kind of a show of commitment.

[C]

That's what I was thinking. Maybe, okay, not the ring yet, but it's a step in maybe the right direction here. And maybe he's seeing that we've been sad for too long over this experience. And if we're going to keep on, we really got to just press on and continue and try to make the best of it or maybe just, you know, find new dreams, find new stuff to put our hearts into. So we. We adopted Bruce Lee, our cat, and he's the cutest and everything at that point was so great. We had this little family, and, you know, he seemed to feel better. I seem to feel better. Things are going to look up. And we were chatting with some friends back in Vegas. And there was some rustling at that point about maybe a job offer getting rethrown back our way. So there was. There were some positive things starting to shift. And even being quarantined and all that, I find we connected even further.

[A]

Interesting.

[C]

Like, we just had the best time. Despite all this going around around us and all this uncertainty around us, we had a blast together. And because we were forced to be just together kind of 247 without anything else, it just re solidified for me. And it seemed like for him that we are perfect for each other. We're exactly where we're meant to be. He was so good at giving me this comfort. Like, despite anything that was going on and all the frustration, there was always this. Like, nothing mattered as long as we were together. Even though it's stressful, it was all okay when we were together. So it really just re solidified where we were. And I was willing to look past the photo and that August, we were still in some pretty hefty shutdowns, but we were allowed to go out and do some stuff. Masked up. And it's August. And he goes, you know, I want to go to the beach. I think we should just walk around on the beach and have a nice day and maybe go grab some lunch. And I was thinking, yeah, that sounds great. Let's get out of the house for a bit. And we go to this particular beach. But because it was a government run beach, it was actually closed. You weren't allowed to go on it. So he gets frustrated, like, we can't go on this beach. And I'm like, well, it's okay. Like, I. I'm not married to this beach, you know, like, we can go somewhere else. We can just go to lunch if you want. But he was just adamant about going to the beach. So I'm like, all right, well, let's go to this other one. So we drive there. He grabs his coat. We're walking along the beach. We sit down on this log, and he tells me to close my eyes. I close my eyes. I open. He's got champagne and a ring in his hand. And he asked me to marry him.

[B]

Oh, finally. Praise the land.

[C]

Finally, Finally. And I. And he pops the bottle of champagne. We're crying. We call everybody. We're telling them. Everyone is ecstatic. Because at this point, a lot of family was even like, what's up, y'all?

[B]

It's been seven years.

[A]

Like, everyone's just sitting around doing nothing during COVID It's like, at least get proposed.

[C]

Exactly, exactly. Right. And here I'm thinking, like, how sweet, too you. Like, in this dark, uncertain time, this man wants to be this light and for us to have this great thing come out of this. And so it was just. It was awesome. I felt like the hard times are over, things are looking up, so we start planning a wedding. And I was just so excited to do this, you know, having, like, an Elvis y sort of wedding.

[A]

Oh, of course. I bet you have such a Pinterest board of, like, retro wedding stuff.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, totally, totally. So I was so stoked to be able to do that, despite the fact I always wanted to actually get married in Vegas by a cheesy impersonator and do the whole thing. Really corny like that. That was sort of what I wanted, but I'm like, whatever. I could make it Elvis. See here. And we can figure that out.

[A]

You're literally marrying an Elvis, too. That's kind of like it's Elvis by default.

[C]

Yeah. Like, I'm. Yeah, I'm still kind of getting that. That dream anyway. And so we're planning away, and he was wonderful through the whole process, you know, Like, I remember one time telling him I wanted to have maybe macarons at the wedding, and I was thinking of trying them from this particular place, and he'd went and gotten them for me as a surprise, like a bunch of different ones to try. And he left a little note on the table that was like, loving you is the sweetest gift. And he would do that a lot. A lot of gestures, A lot of really attentive, sweet things. So we're planning this wedding, and we had to plan it as if we could have 50 people, because at that stage, that was the numbers we were allowed. But then there was a bit of a spike, and then they were saying only 10 people. Wow.

[A]

So you were, like, trying to make this happen. Yeah, I guess we didn't know how long things would be.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And. And I had to buy everything and do everything as if the 50 could come, because then, you know, at the drop of a hat, it could go back up to 50, it could go back down to 10. Like, it was such a crazy time that we're just like, you know what? We're just going to have to go ahead with what we got and do what we can. So because of all the weddings that had been postponed because of all this, the venue that I found that I really, really wanted because of all the rebookings, they only had one day available in 2021. Just one day.

[B]

August 16th.

[C]

No oh, that would be crazy. I know, right? Well, this is. This is good. It was May 1, and initially when she said that, I wasn't thinking. And so I leaned over to him and I said, well, they only have one day available and it's May 1st. And he goes, you know what day that is, right? I'm like, what? Not like, I'm not thinking. And he says, that's the day Elvis and Priscilla got married.

[B]

Oh.

[C]

Right. I'm just like, fate. What are the chances of that? Like, that is insane. You know, the venue we want, everything we want on that day of all days. This has got to be written in the stars. This is perfect. We decide, okay, May 1st. It was a little sooner than we wanted, but you know what? We're like, we're in love. We've been together six years. Things are crazy. So we end up booking it. I get a friend of mine to make us an Elvis themed cake. It's peanut butter and banana flavored. I got these like, garlands with little Elvises on them and strung them up over our archway like it was like, you know, super cute. Very us. Actually, the gentleman who owned the tiki bar that we'd met at was a musician as well. And him and Peter dabbled in other side bands and things together over the years. He played me down the aisle.

[B]

Aww.

[C]

You know, because we met at his place that held this special. Yeah, yeah. And it's crazy because this was Peter's idea. So he made all these special suggestions and gestures too that was like, wow, he's so involved. He just loves our love.

[B]

And like, man, I just have so much anxiety. When do we get to the part where there's, like, a dog? Because I do not understand. Well, this guy's so nice, right?

[A]

I just see you getting everything you wanted. Like, you started this story with, like, I wanted.

[B]

She gets married. Like, this is perfect.

[C]

Yes, this is. That's the tragedy of it all, for sure. So we have this wedding and we just had this perfect, cute little ceremony and we could just feel so much love because not only, you know, friends, family, but like the whole Elvis community kind of came out and watched it.

[B]

That's amazing.

[C]

Like, there was just. Everybody was watching, you know, and it just. It felt so right. And we get married May 1st and have this little dinner too. And actually one of his close friends gave us this amazing gift. He actually got Priscilla to call us. Oh, yes. And record a video talking to us about the significance of May 1st and wishing us well and saying that she knew that you know, Peter was an Elvis tribute artist.

[B]

That's really cool.

[C]

Yeah, it was so magical. It was just so magical. And I was like, you know, despite this last couple of years, what we went through, it was just always leading up to this. And it's just that life lesson. You're like, sometimes you gotta go through the muck to get to the. And even though we were going through that muck, it was always really strong between us. Even these little blips. No matter what, we were just always so, so good. My mom even said one time, like, man, you guys are truly best friends.

[B]

And, and that's it. That's the whole episode. Goodbye.

[A]

Yeah, I don't want the rest. I like this right here.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. So that's the thing. Like, I, I, I definitely, you know, drive that point home because, yeah, once it kind of turns, it, it turns. So after we get married, we have our little honeymoon in the city and we go back to work and we're just moving along. Well, I. And he says to me, I got another job offer in Vegas.

[A]

Same people.

[B]

How long after you all had gotten totally different people.

[C]

This was only within the month. It was really soon after.

[B]

Okay, so one month after you get married. And he says, I got another job offer.

[C]

Yes. He's like, I haven't signed anything and I haven't agreed to anything. He learned his lesson that first time.

[A]

Very, very good.

[B]

Very nice.

[C]

And it was different people. It was actually a friend of ours who owned the theater. So everything really was pointing to, to positive here. But he's like, I don't want to get too hasty because he was nervous. Right. We don't want to give up everything to. So we, we treaded those waters really carefully. We really weighed all of our options, but this was a real opportunity. The gentleman who owned the theater was actually telling us that he was going to retire after a couple years and actually wanted us to take the theater over and run it.

[B]

Oh, wow. Okay. Because he knew what you were capable of, obviously.

[C]

Exactly, exactly. And to me, that gave me more comfort also in moving back because I, that gives us a future also. It's not just an up in the air performance. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, this is a maybe like a solid thing. And because I want to live there, I don't want to have to keep moving back. I was like, oh, my gosh. So not only did I just get married, but, you know, I get to move back to where I love to be around my friends and he's going to get his job back. It was all just the unity together really working in our favor now. Okay. Yeah. So. So we. We did the thing again for a second time. We packed up everything. This time around, instead of putting stuff into storage, I was like, look, it's just stuff. So I sold everything I owned. I got rid of everything completely downsized. We just took our clothes and the cat and off we went, and it was awesome. This show was different, too. This was just him.

[B]

Oh, he. He was the show.

[C]

Exactly. No other people involved. No weirdos hanging out naked in his dressing room, at least. And it was actually great because it was going to be a whole thing of Elvis's life from the 50s through to the 70s. So two months of Elvis, and it was the only all Elvis show in town at that point.

[A]

Oh, this is sick.

[C]

Right? It's setting us up for something really special here. And so, especially for me, being his manager at the time, I'm like, oh, like, that's so great. I have plenty of advertisements and ideas and stuff based on that. And so I ran his Facebook page. I had a ball putting all sorts of stuff together and videos together and really planning it out and ideas for the theater. Once we took over, it was a really exciting time. And we move down, and we get a great little apartment. We're just going along. Everything's seemingly great. It's so good, in fact, that after about a year of everything really going swimmingly, he decides that he wants to get remarried.

[A]

Like, renegade vows?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Because I didn't get the wedding I deserve, and it was Covid and all this, and, you know, now we're in a much better place. He's like, I feel like you deserve that, and I'd like to do that. And I'd like to invite all our friends and family and everyone to meet us here. And, you know, we'll have this amazing time, and we'll actually rent a car. We'll drive to Disney for a part of it, because we'd gone to Disney quite a few times over the course of our relationship, and that was always something really special to us.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

So he planned this whole thing out, and I was so over the moon about that too, you know? Like, man, he must really love me and our life. And we're gonna get married already for a second time. Only after, like, a year and a bit, you know? Like, this is sweet. He plans everything out. He makes up invitations. He books everything. I buy a new dress. Like, family's starting to book. Friends are starting to book. Everything's going along. And this was gonna take place Last January was when it was going to happen. So now we're in November, a few months before this vow renewal was supposed to take place. Then he was gonna wake up one afternoon and he's gonna go and help a friend of his who I knew go and fix up a cabin. And he would do this on occasion to help his buddy out, like an Airbnb type thing. And I said, didn't think anything of it because he, he's done it before. I knew the gentleman. I, you know, there was never any worry, you know, never any doubt in my mind. So he goes off that afternoon, wakes up at 6am and kisses me goodbye. And he leaves at about 6am I'm home for the day, I'm cleaning up the house, I went shopping a little bit. And he messages me periodically throughout the day and says, you know, I'll be home a little later. Do you want me to pick something up for dinner? I said, yeah, you know, you're a hard working man. I still remember verbatim what I texted him. I said, you, you're the hard working man. You, you pick whatever you'd like for dinner and we'll make it together. Whatever you'd like. You've been working all day. So he says, all right, you'll stop at the grocery store and you'll be home in a bit. So he comes home, armful of groceries, plants the biggest kiss on me, and we just start making dinner. We were actually watching the Country Music Awards on the tv and Jelly Roll was on, who I'm obsessed With too, and we were singing together. It was just this perfect little night. We finished making our dinner and we sit down on the couch. My phone goes off. I pick it up. It's a woman that we kind of know. She's in the Elvis world. We'd just seen her from time to time. Wasn't a close friend, but she knew of us. And she says, I hate to do this, but I need to tell you something.

[B]

Oh no, it's crazy.

[C]

And I was like, oh, okay. And she goes, two women that I know are seeing Peter.

[A]

Two.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

And I, I was so not in that frame of thought. Like it never crossed my mind that I thought she meant that they were going to come and see his show. Uh huh. So my response was, oh, you mean they're coming to the theater? And she went, no, sweetheart. She said, they're sleeping with him.

[A]

Was he sitting next to you?

[C]

Yeah. Oh my God. Okay, so what do you do?

[A]

How do you respond?

[C]

So he could See the look on my face? And he knew something was wrong. He just said, what's wrong? And I said, well, that depends on what happens next. And so I look at my phone again, and this woman says, I'm going to put you in a group chat with the two women right now. I just kind of look at him, and then I look at my phone. I wait. And then they come in, both of them, and say, we've been sleeping with your husband, and one of us has been for a full two and a half years. So the whole time we were there the second time, do they.

[B]

Do they know that he was married? They know.

[C]

Yes. Yes.

[B]

Why'd they do that? And why they tell him now?

[C]

Because they found out about each other. So they didn't care that he was married?

[B]

They care that he had another girlfriend besides his wife?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

That's disgusting.

[C]

So that's what made them mad enough to come forward. So I get added to this group text and they blurt out like, yes, this is true. And so I hand my phone to him, and he drops his food on the table and just goes, no, no, no. And just starts shaking his head no. I grabbed my phone back and I looked at him and he just started to cry. And I busted. Like, my soul left my body. It was like I just got hit by a bus.

[B]

Oh, no. That must have been.

[C]

Because there was no lead up to this. There was no strangeness.

[B]

There was no intuition, no nothing.

[A]

You did everything.

[C]

There was no. No inkling. Nobody told me, you better watch out for this guy. Or I've been seeing him up to no good. Like, nothing. Like, we had the perfect life and I was so happy. And then. Blam.

[B]

It would almost be better if you kind of knew. And then you were like, ah, finally.

[C]

I 100% agree. Yeah. Yeah. Because it was like this perfect little bubble.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Was just burst in. Literally. My back's up against the wall of our porch area, and I just slid down it and I just started screaming. And he just starts pacing and pacing. And now I gotta try to figure out what's going on and read these messages. So I grabbed my phone and I'm trying to look at what they're saying, and they are ready to throw him right under the. They're like, we'll send you everything. We'll send you text messages. Like, we'll give you everything. And that's when I was like, y'all, you knew he was married? Like, what's up?

[B]

Yeah. What did. How did they respond? Like, how. How do you answer that. Yeah.

[A]

Did they apologize at all?

[C]

Yeah. And they're like, well, you know, it's like this Elvis. It's the Elvis world, right? And these women fulfill these fantasies. Like, they genuinely go from event to event to try to sleep with all these. They're groupies. They are. They're sideburn chasers. We called them Elvis groupies. Sideburn chasers. Yes. Yes. That's what we called them.

[B]

That's the title of the episode, Molly.

[C]

Yeah. You know, we. We knew, like, I knew they existed. Like, I had seen over these years. You know, like I was saying at the beginning, this Elvis world was this beautiful, wonderful, positive place. But the more I got in it and the more I saw of the other men who do this and how often they cheated on all their wives, it was actually a really seedy underbelly of it all. And. And I knew it went on, but I always just thought, aren't we the best? Like, we're the one couple that doesn't act like this.

[A]

And you're in his career, too. It's not like you're not part of it exactly.

[C]

Like, I ran his Facebook page. I was his admin. So if anything was going on, wouldn't I see it? So here I'm thinking we're this perfect little couple in this really gross, sleazy world. And, like, I was proud of that. You know, I was proud of him for not acting like these other idiots. You know, I'm like, you know, I have the good one and I'm proud of him, and I love that he doesn't use this job to act like that. Yeah. So the women. So that's the thing. The women in this little Elvis world actually do it on purpose, and they don't care about the wives, so they even would come to the theater to see his shows, and I'd be there selling the tickets or helping. Like, they'd come into contact with me multiple times.

[A]

So what, it's like part of the turn on for them to be doing something wrong.

[C]

Yeah, that's exactly right. It's the. The sneaking. It's the right under my nose. It's the almost kind of, you know.

[A]

Control knowing I'm right there.

[B]

Is that indicative of Elvis himself? Like, was he a kind of player?

[C]

Yes. And. And see, and that's the thing too, is it's sad because these guys, you know, like, I. I thought that the man that I was with because his job was pretending to be somebody else.

[B]

Not actually being him, that he would actually do that.

[C]

And I also thought, you're emulating your idol, but, like, why would you want to live the exact same way?

[A]

Because we know what happened in the end.

[C]

Exactly. And. And that is 100% it. And I. I'd seen so many of these guys go down that path, and Peter seeing it firsthand, too, and seeing a lot of his friends. Relationships fail over this type of stuff. And it's like, don't you learn from Elvis? And not only that, like, Elvis was Elvis. He was a rock star. I mean, like, these guys are like, wish version Elvis.

[B]

Yeah. She said you're the wish version of Elf.

[C]

Oh, my God. They ain't Elvis. So it's like, they're just regular dudes.

[A]

So how does he defend any of it? Does he even try?

[C]

Well, he's kind of pacing and saying, no, no, it's not what they're saying.

[A]

It's.

[C]

It's not as bad as they're saying. Like, he's already trying to sort of backtrack, you know, So I didn't know how to respond. Like I said, I just kind of.

[B]

How do you respond?

[C]

You just kept crying and cry. All I could really say in that moment was, you need to get out. You need to leave the apartment, please. I just couldn't handle him being there because I was like, if I'm going to really get to the bottom of this, I can't have him in my ear telling me what I want to hear, because obviously he's been really good at that, like, this whole almost decade that we've been together. Yeah.

[A]

If you give him the mic, he'll talk his way out of anything.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Right?

[B]

100.

[C]

Right. Because now I'm thinking, oh, my God. This has probably gone on this whole time. He's already pulled the wool over my eyes. If I don't get him away from me, and if I don't get to the bottom of this, I'll stay, you know?

[B]

You'll let him talk you into staying.

[A]

That's very strong of you and must have been so hard. So I hope you give yourself some credit for putting yourself first.

[C]

Yeah. And it was awful. And I didn't know what to do because I'm in another country, too. I have no family there. So I collected myself together enough to grab my phone and really get into this conversation. So these women. Yeah. Basically tell me they're mad because he told them they were the only ones. So they decided when they found out about each other that he must be such a liar.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What was your first clue?

[C]

I know. I was like, are you Kidding me? I was like you when you were meeting in hotels, obviously. To sleep with my husband the last two years. You what, you thought he was a good person?

[A]

He was only doing this. Yeah, like that's.

[C]

Yeah. Like you met on a lie. Your whole relationship and your whole. Everything that you're doing is based on a lie. So you're surprised he's lying. Like, in the meantime, because I had asked him to leave, he's puttering around, grabbing clothes and things like that, trying to figure out what to do. And as I'm sitting there, I'm yelling at him, I'm like, how could you do this to me? Like, didn't you learn from Elvis? Like, you know the end chapter of his book? Like, is this wanna be?

[B]

Like, I'd have been like, go be Elvis then.

[A]

Yeah, go.

[C]

So I'm yelling and freaking out, and he eventually walks out the door. And he doesn't know where to go, so he initially goes to sit in his car. So now I'm like, all right, ladies, like spell. I'm not gonna freak out at you yet.

[A]

Yes, let's get the info.

[C]

And that's what I was thinking. I'm like, you know, I'm gonna play really nice because I want to get as much information as I humanly.

[B]

So you have to keep calm so that they'll talk.

[C]

Exactly, exactly. So as hard as that was, I was like, okay, let's go. So they start sending me text messages that he had been sending them kind of back up what they were saying. So they were saying, sorry to tell you this, but he's been telling us this whole time that you were the worst wife ever. That you never let him follow his dreams. That I was a paper marriage. He only married me for work and like visa related purposes, which shouldn't make sense.

[A]

That doesn't make any sense. Okay.

[C]

We were both Canadian, so you don't need to marry to have a. But I guess they didn't know that.

[A]

Would have been more valuable for him to marry one of them.

[C]

Exactly, exactly. So then he was saying, you know, we were just roommates, that our sex life was non existent. So it was really shocking to me and it was so painful to hear because I dedicated so much of my life to him. So to really read his messages that said that I didn't support him.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I didn't allow him to follow his dreams was so soul crushing. And as they're telling me this stuff, I'm just like, this can't be real. There was such disbelief in it too. Because it's like, like not us. Anyone but us. This can't be like this perfect love story, this perfect life, this perfect world of almost a decade. It can't end like this. This can't be the story. So as I'm messaging them, I said something to the one girl and she didn't respond. So the other girl said, well, sorry, she's going to respond for a minute because she's talking to Peter.

[B]

What?

[C]

And I went, are you kidding me right now? So his ass went outside to the car to call one of these women to hopefully keep them on the hook because he knew shit was falling apart.

[B]

No, he tried to talk her into staying.

[C]

So he's on the phone and I'm like, are you. Like, you're. You're losing your wife and your family and your entire world is crashing down around you right now and you're going outside to call one of your side chicks? This makes no sense. So I start messaging him and I'm like, you're sitting out in the car right now messaging this woman? And he goes, she wanted to hear from me that I didn't love her and this and that. I'm like, I don't care. Yeah, like the fact that you're trying to save that.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Not like this makes no sense. So that was really insane. So I guess they hung up and she comes back to the chat and I flip out over that. And I told her what he told me as well. And she's like, that's not true. He wanted to talk to me. And I was like, oh, right. I know already that he's just. Nothing he says obviously is true. While he's out there, he's trying to figure out where to go stay. And I guess a friend took pity on him that lived across the street, a close friend of ours. And so he texted me and he told me he was going to go over there and spend the night there. I'm like, yeah, whatever. Meanwhile, he's trying to sweet talk me and try to downplay a lot of this is, you know what I'm going to do? I. I thought I'm going to send him every message they send me. I'm going to send him all the screenshots that I'm getting. I'm going to send him all the receipts, like anything they give me so he knows exactly what I'm finding out in real time. Because if I just tell him, oh, well, they said this and they said that, you know, there's a good chance he's going to. There's always. There's going to be an excuse, he's.

[B]

Going to argue it. And no, we got receipts. Gotta look at him.

[C]

That's it. And I want him to know that I know. And because I've been such a doormat and a pushover and a people pleaser, I was like, you know, in this situation, that's not it. I am going to break this open as hard as this is gonna be. And it was like, over the course of four days, these women and me texted, wow. I didn't sleep, I didn't eat. I just found out everything I possibly, possibly could. They showed me. So when we first moved to Vegas, me and him accidentally got pregnant, actually. And we agreed, like, we both aren't kids people. We lived an entertainer's lifestyle. It was just not something we wanted. And we were both very certain about that. We were always very open and honest about that. So when this happened, it was like, oh, my God, what do we do? Like, we just moved down here also, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So I remember taking a test and leaving it on the counter and positive. I'm like, oh, God. So I tell him to go look at it. He goes and looks at it. He comes and sits down on the bed. And instead of having a tender moment that I kind of thought we would have, because this is a real thing now, I kind of thought he'd be supportive. I thought maybe he'd go, you know what? Maybe we can do this. Or, how are you feeling about this?

[A]

Or, yeah, you'd be in it together.

[C]

Yeah, Whatever choice made. And I. Even though I didn't, I knew kind of where I was at. I was just. I was hoping for that almost, you know. And he pulls up abortion clinics right away.

[A]

Oh, no question.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

No check in, no nothing.

[C]

No, just right away. And I was like, oh, like, okay. You know, like. Because, like, that's the thing. It's like, you know, I. I knew how I felt about it, and that was most likely where my choice was going to go. But it's a hard decision. Like, I didn't really expect to just like, you know, like, it. It's something I thought we would talk about and think about and comfort me.

[B]

Tell me your thoughts. Like, give me, like. Like, help me.

[A]

That's a big. Yes. Moment of being there for each other.

[C]

That was totally tough. Like, that was really tough. But I did it and we figured it out. And, you know, that weekend, unfortunately, I had to go to a huge Elvis competition of his too. And I was in the most pain. I've ever been in, in my life. And I had to be right there, front row, cheering him on. So even despite, you know, all things that would always go on internally with me, he was always the focal point. It was always making him happy, you know. So one of the hardest things I learned from these two women was that he told them that I had a secret abortion without him knowing. And it destroyed him as a man. And I took away the opportunity for him to be a father more. And that's why he cheats on me.

[B]

For them to feel sorry for him so he can justify.

[A]

That's like a big pig.

[C]

I died. Like, I just was like incoherent. Like, I mean, I again, I fell to the ground. I. I was just like one of the hardest things for a woman to go through and do. And you use it like, are you serious? I couldn't understand how someone so wonderful and kind could be so evil. Like so evil in that moment. And it hit me that this is deep seated in him and this isn't just these two women. This is, this goes like, this has to. So I was like, there's no way that a person can say those things so straight faced and do all these things and come home to me and not look a little different or act.

[B]

A little different if he doesn't have experience in this.

[C]

Exactly. So that was another thing I learned. They sent me pictures. Like he would send them videos of him in the bathroom. Like, videos of him like jerking off and stuff. And he would tell them that he was, was poor and broke and he needed his cell phone bills paid. He told me.

[A]

Oh my God. Yeah.

[C]

Like I never helped him out money wise.

[B]

Were they fine? Were they financing him?

[C]

Yes, I found that out. How much?

[B]

To what extent?

[C]

So they sent me receipts that were like 900, like 300. Like. Yeah, they sent me cash.

[A]

He's so gross. Did he have a separate phone bill? Is, did he have a secret phone? Is that why they. He was like, oh, I need money for a phone bill.

[C]

No, that's the thing too. But his phone contract was ending because he still had a Canadian phone. So that's all it was, is that he. His phone contract was ending. He was just gonna have to get a new phone.

[B]

Oh, dang.

[C]

So he was telling them that his phone. Oh, it's gonna get cut off and everything. So they would pay for his new phone.

[A]

Oh my God. And so he had the. This one girl when you guys moved back to Vegas, like, pretty much was starting with her.

[C]

Oh, immediately, immediately.

[A]

So they had a Thing the last time he was in Vegas?

[C]

I don't believe so. Based on the text messages she sent me, it was, I believe, when it. When we first got back, she shared the first text message. She came to see his show with her mother, and he, I guess, just picked her out of the audience. They slept together that night. He went and met her in a hotel, like, immediately.

[B]

What?

[A]

And they were like, yes, mom, can you go take a walk?

[B]

Yeah. Like, how did that work?

[C]

Yes. And I don't understand when all this could have taken place. Like, I even said to him, I'm like, we're together all the time. Like, all the time. But if I ever got called into the theater to do stuff or if he ever had side gigs or if he ever, you know, oh, I'm going to karate, you know, like, he managed to fit it in to all these places where I wouldn't suspect or that would make sense.

[A]

I'll say.

[C]

So if I was working a little extra, if I was with a friend or something, he would go to this woman's apartment.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

So for a while, he worked an afternoon show, and I helped out at that theater in the evening. So we kind of had an opposite schedule. So he would go and sit at her place after his show and come and pick me up at the end of my shift at night and just come straight from spending all day sleeping with her to pick me up. Yep. So I'm just finding out more and more and more. I found out that the one woman that he was with for two. The. The two and a bit years, you know, the whole time we were there, she actually moved from another state to be closer to him.

[B]

Shut up. Oh, my God.

[C]

She quit her job and everything.

[B]

What?

[C]

Left her kids. What? And, yeah, yeah, she. They were a bit older because he always went for older, A bit older women.

[A]

Which you weren't worried about at the beginning.

[B]

Yeah, she wasn't worried because she's like, all these ladies are older.

[C]

Yep. Yep. So she left the state she was in, quit her job to move closer to us so he could go to her place while I was working or what have you.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, what, y'all? We're gonna live happily ever after? And she kept telling me, like, no, no, I just. I never thought we'd be together. I'm like, so what was the point of this? Like, you destroyed my life for what? No particular reason. That's a pretty hard pill for me to swallow, you know? And then it gets better. Oh, no, she didn't want to tell me this, so the other woman had to tell me this. She got a tattoo of his signature on her.

[B]

Ew.

[C]

Like, you're walking around the town I live in with my husband's signature on your leg.

[A]

Like, branded. That's.

[C]

Yes, that's exactly right. That's exactly right. And I found out he signed something for her to go and do it, and he encouraged her to do it. She sent me the text messages. I'm sure he loved it. Loved it. I think, actually, he also paid for it.

[A]

Oh, with the other hoes money.

[C]

Yeah, exactly. That's exactly. Yep, yep. So that's the thing. The money just kind of exchanged hands and gifts and things. So they would also gift him stuff. I found out they would buy him clothing. They bought him a bunch of Elvis memorabilia that he actually displayed in our home. So there was this one decanter in particular of Elvis doing, like, this karate stance. That's very rare, very hard to find. And he'd always wanted it, and, you know, we'd always kept our eyes open for it. And he told me when he came home with it that he found it at the vintage store. And I was like, oh, my gosh. Like, how lucky is that? You know, he displayed it very proudly in the center of our dining room table. I found out she sent me the receipt she'd bought in it off ebay for him. Of course, she sent me all these receipts. I found out so much because he. He would always sort. He was not very good with money, always, but he'd always find ways to pay for things and always find ways to treat himself, which, you know, I also encouraged. I'm like, great. You know, that's fine. Like, but he'd always find a way to buy this or buy that or have this new Elvis jacket or this new. And Elvis clothing is extremely expensive. Some of the jumpsuits run $2,800 a piece.

[B]

The bills alone.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

Yeah. And he had one of the biggest jumpsuit collections out of any of the guys. And it was like, you know, this is for his career. This is for his job. Even though I was kind of like, I thought you had no money, but, okay, I get it. Like, you want to spend it on this. You know, spend money to make money. But come to find out, yeah, these women essentially were funding his. His outfits. Everything was just getting bought and paid for, and he was hiding all this money from me.

[B]

How long after they found out about one another did you get contacted?

[C]

I feel like that day.

[B]

Oh, it was fresh for every damn.

[C]

It was because actually where he was that whole afternoon in his painter's pants and all was in a hotel with the other woman, the newest one. All afternoon? Yeah, all afternoon. She said they had sex four times that afternoon. He was there all day. She thought it was weird that he'd always show up to their dates in like construction workers clothes.

[B]

And she knew he was married. Like, why didn't he just say, I had to get out of the house to come see you online?

[C]

I know, I know. And I was like, you, like, that's freaking so crazy to like don like a costume to go and cheat on your wife. Like, for him to go to the effort of, like putting on these pants.

[A]

Bring a change of clothes, like, oh, my God.

[C]

I know, I know. And he drove. She lived. Oh, yeah, I found out too. She lived like two hours away. So that's why it was an all day work day, because he actually did. So he got his ass up at 6am to drive that far. And then I found out how far the other woman lived, like multiple states away before she moved. So he was driving to meet her also. And in all that time, our car was like madly breaking down. Our tires were getting messed up. Like things were happening. Now I know it's because he was driving the damn thing completely into the ground.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

And I was helping to pay for this car. I remember doing a side job one time making 600 bucks. I came home and I gave him every cent of it to help fix the car. Oh, my God.

[B]

So that he could drive it to bang his mistresses.

[C]

Yes. Our friend gave us a loan. Our friend, our dear friend gave us a loan to fix the transmission. Oh, my God.

[A]

Did she see his phone? Is that how the girl the paint cabin? No.

[C]

So the girl that was our in between person that brought us together, she was talking to each of them that afternoon, just, I guess out of chance, just messaging about Elvis shows and things like that. And they started saying about how they're with this Elvis guy and he lives here and he does this show and that. And she went, I know that guy. And they're both talking about the same thing at the same time. So she was like, y'all know that you know he's married, right? And they're like, oh, yeah. And she goes, okay. But then she's like, all right, well, hey, do they know about each other? And that's when she was like, like, I'm talking to both of you right now, and you're both having sex with the same dude, same married dude. And I know the wife and they're.

[B]

Like, oh, hail to the. No, he's married.

[C]

That's fine. Like, I'll never forget them being like, the lies. Such lies he tells. And after they told me so many things, I did start to sort of be like, what's your guys's deal?

[A]

How does your brain work?

[C]

You know? And the one that was with him for like two and a half years was like, well, I was just in a really rough place and I just thought he was such a good friend and a good person. Like, oh, such a good per.

[B]

Like he was giving me the D. So when you find out about this, is your initial instinct I have to leave him or was it like, oh man, like, I gotta stay with this guy. Like, but he's my husband. Like, what do I.

[C]

Yes, it was, it was a mix. Because initially, of course, I, I didn't want to leave him. I wanted us to be able to figure out some way to get past this. And if it's not so bad, if it's, you know, if it's not bad and it's maybe just a few times or, you know, maybe I could get past it because of the lifestyle. Like, maybe this is just something that does happen in these relationships and it can be fixed. But because I was finding out so much, like it wasn't just a couple sessions in a hotel room and it wasn't just like, it was very malicious.

[B]

And these are full blown relationships.

[A]

And the things he said about you, the lies he told about you, you can't come back from that.

[C]

I was like, it was getting harder and harder with each day and with each conversation I was having with these women, they also told me some pretty alarming stuff that he was quite, it sounds about like, but like deviant sexually with them.

[A]

Kinky, we got you.

[C]

And I'm not here to like, I said, like, some of that's cool, whatever, but like, this was actually like violence. And it really scared me in that moment because the man I knew was the most gentle, soft spoken, sweet, even in bed. Yes.

[A]

So, yes. Was it stuff that they all were consenting to or were they sharing things.

[C]

That they were like, they were mixed on it. The last time the, the one that he was with that afternoon said that, she adamantly said no. And so that was very concerning. She said that he was hitting her in the face, spitting on her, all these sort of things. And I was just like, who are you describing? Yeah, like I.

[A]

This is another person.

[C]

You think of your worst nightmare and like, what it could be and for it to be significantly worse. You know, I was like, you know, cheating scenario, if that ever came up. Like I thought, you know, drunk at an Elvis festival one weekend. Not this.

[B]

No.

[A]

This is like, who did I marry?

[C]

It is. I laid next to this person for almost 10 years and all of this was going on right under my nose, basically. And he hid it so well. It's like, what else is there? You know? So I'm getting all these receipts, I'm getting all this dirt, and again, I'm sending them all to him as well. So he's basically. Now he's not denying any of it.

[B]

Oh, he can't exactly.

[C]

He is basically just saying, like, it's true and I did it. It's true and I did it.

[A]

Was he emotional about it or did he shut down?

[C]

He was. He was trying to be, but. And hearing about, like. Because they would try to break it off with him sometimes and he would throw himself to the ground and hyperventilate and pretend to puke and like, just like, really over the top dramatic.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And he was doing the same with me, so it was hard for me to take it seriously because I knew from what they were telling me. Initially, I would have believed him when I saw my husband sad or cry, but now I'm like, oh, God. Like, he's not sorry. He doesn't care. He wanted this all during this time, too, I'm corresponding back and forth with my family. They're devastated. They're so worried, especially because they can't just come and get me. So they don't know what I'm going to do. And as it's getting worse and worse, they. And they can't believe what they're hearing. And it's all just really snowballing. And now I'm up four or five days straight. I'm sick. Like, oh, yeah, it's bad. So then they tell me that he's on a lot of pretty hefty drugs.

[B]

What real. Did you know? Did you know any of that?

[C]

No, no.

[B]

What kind of drugs?

[C]

Not one thing. Apparently cocaine, Adderall and various other antidepressants and things. He was snorting.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[C]

Oh, yeah. And this one really hit me hard, too, because I was like, okay, like, how did I not see? And like, he dabbled in a bit of marijuana here and there, took a gummy here and there. So I'd seen him like that, but never anything else. He never talked about anything else, wanting to do anything else. Like, he liked to Drink with friends and stuff like that. But I was in such disbelief, like, kind of too, trying to examine moments of when we were together. He never acted out of control. Like, it was so odd. So I really thought maybe they were lying about it. And then they described to me he had this little pouch that he would keep with him with his costumes and his stuff, like a grooming bag. And they described it perfectly to me, and that's what he kept all this in.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

So I knew then they weren't lying, and she'd actually bought him the one that he was with for two years. Bought him that bag.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[C]

That was one of the things. So I was just like, oh, my God. So then she started sending me messages because I was like, I don't know. This can't be real. Like, maybe he said he was doing these things to be cool or. I don't know. Did you actually see this happening? She goes, oh, yeah. He would do it here with me and offer it to me and crush up Adderall at the sink. And she's like, I wanted to please him, so I'd let him sniff cocaine off my butt. Like, all this kind of, like, typical. Yeah.

[B]

Rock stars.

[C]

And then she started sending me the text messages of him talking about how Adderall's better than cocaine and this and that. And I was like, oh, my God. This is true, too. Like, oh, my God. So, of course, I brought this up to him. And he, again, didn't hide any of it, just kept saying he was sorry. He'd do anything to stay together, anything to prevent a divorce. Why?

[B]

Why these? Why does he. Why?

[C]

Like, I know. And I. I said that to him. I was like, why the hell did you marry me? And not only that, plan a second wedding, knowing full well you were doing all of this to me. Like, why do you want to be with me? I love you. I love you so much. You're my whole world. Like, this whole. And it's like, but do you see how this doesn't make sense? I was like. Like, you planned our vow? This was your idea. Like, why the hell did you want to remarry me? And when I asked him that, he said that he saw our vow renewal as a way for him to reset. He was going to use that as his time to put all of this behind him, because he found. Finally realized what he had.

[B]

But I bet the women had no indication from him that he was going to.

[A]

And also, that wasn't going to happen.

[B]

No.

[A]

And also, even if it was, he's probably like, let me get my rounds in before the bell renewal.

[C]

Exactly, exactly. He told me that, yeah, it was gonna be this great, big romantic reset for him. So I'm like, I was just never gonna know this and, like, go to my grave and live the rest of our lives with you doing all this horrible shit to me and just. You could sleep at night knowing this.

[B]

That's wild.

[C]

And, yeah, he just said, yep, and that's how he saw it. So it was just crazy. It was one thing after another. And then they hit me with that. They believe there's more women.

[B]

Oh, why?

[C]

Why?

[B]

Why do they believe that?

[C]

Well, they said that they did some snooping within the last couple days, and they found two other women that they suspect.

[A]

Get them in the group chat.

[C]

I'm like. Like, hit me with it, right? Like, tell me their names, because I'm gonna figure this out. So they gave me a name of a woman.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[C]

And I instantly recognized her.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

Yeah. She had been someone who'd come to the shows and who'd acted very vulgar and very intense about him. But I just chalked it up to crazy fandom because that did happen on occasion, you know.

[A]

Sure.

[C]

So I. I made a point to actually talk to Peter about it. Like, I was like, look, like this. This lady. And she was a grandmother. Grandmother. So I didn't suspect a thing. I just thought, this crazy old grandma, like, she's coming to the theater. She's acting a fool. Like, you gotta put a stop to this. Or, you know what? Actually, I'm gonna come to the show one of the days. She plans to be here. I just make sure she knows, like, I'm around, you know?

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So me and my friend actually were gonna go together that night because I'd seen that she posted on his page that she was coming back into town to see the show, and she was with her family. She was looking forward to it, the whole thing. So me and my friend, we get dolled up, we're ready to go. We're ready to sit there and really, you know, not be rude or mean or say anything. But like I said, just be clear that, like, I. I'm not an absent wife. I'm not, like, I know what's up.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And Shook never came. And I found it very strange because she'd made such a big deal about wanting to come, and she'd made. Made such a huge thing about it and was talking about it, and I could see on her Facebook and Instagram because I snooped at that point. After she didn't come that she was in town. So I always thought that was weird.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

You know.

[A]

Yep.

[C]

I come to find out she was another side woman and that he had tipped her off.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Not to come to the theater.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So it all started to add up there as well.

[A]

But she also knew he had a wife. Yeah, I assume.

[C]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Yep.

[C]

Oh, yeah. I tried to reach out to her to get more information, and she refused to speak to me.

[B]

Probably because she's embarrassed. She should.

[C]

Yes. Well, yeah. Like being a grandmother and like, I haven't, you know, all these, you know.

[A]

To bring your family to Vegas and then go sleep with the married Elvis.

[C]

Exactly.

[A]

That's a lie.

[C]

Exactly. And I know that she was also giving him money, large sums of money when she'd come into town. So. So I found out that. So I'm like, all right, we're on woman number three. At the same time, Like, I'm just like. I mean, I don't know how he found the wherewithal to go on like this, because I was like, peter, this is exhausting. I'm exhausted just hearing about it, let alone living it.

[B]

Are there any more?

[C]

Yes, I'm nervous.

[B]

There's more.

[C]

There's more. So I found out about a 4. This one was from another state also and had me blocked on all social media, so I couldn't see her comments or anything like that. She even flew once. So he had to come back to Toronto to do a charity show while we were living there. I didn't come because it was just a one and done. Right. Back and forth. So he came up. But, I mean, family friends were there. I didn't think anything of it. It was just a quick trip. She flew all the way here to Toronto. Yep. To see his performance and have him stay in the hotel with her.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[C]

Yes. And I found this out after I grabbed my friend's phone and I logged into Instagram under her name and searched this person because I found out I was blocked. And I saw she shared Instagram of her flying here, going to the show, her outfit. She also shared the aftermath in the hotel room. And there was, like, a bottle of whiskey, all these, like, clues, basically. And then a picture. I scrolled a little further. I saw she shared of them at a wrestling event together.

[B]

Oh, no.

[C]

So I backtracked and I remember when I had to go with my friend to do some side work at an event.

[B]

That's when they went to the wrestling event together.

[C]

Yes. He told me while I was gone. He goes, you know, while you're gone, wrestling's in town, and I. I kind of want to go. He's like, do you mind if I go? I'm just gonna go by myself. Like, I don't care. And I'm like, honestly, that's cool. Like, you go, you have a wonderful time. Like, send me pictures. Like, all about it. You know, this is. He loves going, go. So he'd even sent me pictures of him at this wrestling event, and she was right next to him. He. When I started sending him these messages of me finding out all of this, he said that she was just a woman that sat next to him at this event. They didn't know each other. Nothing happened. I come to find out she even bought the tickets for him to go.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

Also, she posted on Instagram of them together.

[C]

Exactly. And I told him that too. I said, I am blocked. I know you all had me blocked, I said, but I logged on using a friend's phone, and I saw the pictures of her flying here to come see you. So, yeah, now I'm @ woman number four.

[B]

Oh, are there more?

[C]

Yeah. Yes.

[B]

So within a week, you find out about 1, 2, 3, and 4.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

And again, I'm telling him, I'm telling my family. Everyone's just like, my God, this is getting worse. Like, my family is urging me to stop, stop digging at this point, you know, because they could tell I was dying, dying.

[B]

And I'm like, this cannot do anything but hurt you. Please stop. But like you said, you have to know.

[C]

So after this week goes, I'm wondering what his next steps are going to be.

[B]

Yeah. At this point, y'all are still living in the same house. Like, you're still under the same room. Yeah.

[C]

He was staying still at the friends across the street.

[B]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Okay, okay.

[C]

Yeah. And my friend, he, like, the friend was so sweet. And he just thought same thing. It was like maybe a one night stand. Yeah, maybe it was like, and your guys are the perfect couple. They're gonna through this.

[B]

Sure.

[C]

But I actually started telling him what was going on too. And he was getting more and more upset, more and more disgusted because this was his best friend. Like, this was someone he thought was honorable, a good person.

[A]

So he didn't know.

[C]

He didn't know anything either.

[A]

Anything.

[C]

Nobody did. Like, the more I'm telling friends and family, not one person said, oh, I saw this, or I saw that. To this day, everyone is still shocked. Completely and totally shocked. Not one person has come out and said, I always saw something in him, or, you know, nobody. Everybody has just been, like, totally devastated. So I'm wondering what his next steps are going to be, because our friend, too, is like, I don't want him in my house. But all while this is going on, he has a job coming up. He has a big job coming up in Australia. He got booked quite some time ago to go on an Elvis cruise. So they have these Elvis cruises all around the world where they tack on to other cruises, but they have Elvis performances and all sorts of stuff, and lots of people go on these. So when he initially got the job offer, I was so excited for him because this was, like, probably his biggest opportunity to date. Wow. To get on, like, a world scale and to go somewhere else and get more fans and really show how good he is. Well, this job is coming up, like, this is in, like, a week and a half from when all this is happening. And I'm like, surely he's not gonna go. He can't go. He's not gonna leave me here with all this going on.

[B]

Are you new here?

[C]

He went.

[B]

Of course he did. His whole world is falling apart, but he goes to Australia. It's fine.

[C]

Yeah, he has a. He has a vacation, basically. He tells me, it's awful. He doesn't want to go, but he's contractually obligated.

[A]

He's also contractually obligated to not cheat on you.

[C]

Exactly, Exactly. Yeah, Right. Like, contracts aren't really your thing. But nope, he. He wanted to go. And I'm like, so you're gonna leave me here after finding all this out with no family around me? I had some friends, but they could only do so much. I mean, they all had job like things.

[B]

So you weren't relieved that he was going? Like, oh, get out of my face. Like, you were like, no, we need to figure this out.

[C]

Like, yes. Yeah. And I thought, okay, me kicking him out. He'd stay at a friend's house. But then, you know, we'd have to have that moment where we do come together and figure out what our next steps are.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

No, he just. He hopped on a plane and he left me in that apartment for two weeks.

[A]

What did you do?

[B]

Were you guys fighting the whole time? Like, while he was gone, were you. Was he talking to you?

[C]

I was trying to talk because I kept in contact and it was all still very fresh. So, of course, as I was having thoughts and things are popping up, I was messaging him and we were going back and forth, but. But it was getting very Spotty at that point. And when he did, it was like, I'm crying in the arms of strangers. My life is awful. If I had my gun license, I would have taken care of myself by now. Like, all these really?

[A]

Like, that is so manipulative. He's making himself such a victim.

[C]

Yes, yes. So here I'm thinking that maybe, you know, my husband's on this cruise ship, maybe realizing what he'd done. Well, no. I found out from one of the, one of the organizers of the event that Peter has taken his wedding ring off. It's off. It is gone. It is off. And he is drunk the entire time. He is hitting on everything that moves. And he's been sleeping with women actively on the cruise. No.

[B]

I mean, I'm not surprised. Are you?

[A]

No.

[B]

So what happens when he comes back from Australia?

[C]

Well, so he's on this ship and I'm getting sent pictures of him, like after getting out of the pool. No wedding ring on, arms around old ladies. I'm seeing him performing, smile on his face, all this. I'm laying in bed. I laid in bed for two straight weeks. I didn't eat, I didn't shower. It was bad. I could not function. So during this time as well, my mom, my brothers, everyone is like, we gotta get to you and you need to come home. And I was like, I can't, I can't. I'm so happy living here and my whole future of running this theater and all these things, of being around my people. It can't be over. Like, I, I, I can't let it go. This is who I was supposed to be and where I'm supposed to be.

[B]

And everything up to this point has been so perfect. How could it not be?

[C]

Yes. Like, I was like, how do I physically pack my bags? How do I walk away from my best friends and my, and my ch and family? It's not fair.

[A]

You didn't choose. He did this to you.

[C]

No. It was the worst feeling in the world. So essentially I had to be forced into it because during all this as well, and his behavior on the cruise ship and everything, his boss, of course, is also finding out all this and is very disappointed because he was going to hand the keys over to this person he thought was a genuine good person who he could trust. And to find out he was high on his stage and acting like this, and these women were coming to the shows and this was like his, basically his personal playground. And the women started calling the theater as well, saying, like, do you know who you have working There and, like, harassing them. So they had to fire him.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Yeah, they had to fire him. So after he was fired too, it was a realization for me that, like, okay, I have no choice now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because if you don't have that sponsored employment, what do you do? Oh, yeah, you gotta go, you can't, you can't stay. Exactly. So it was really hitting home that I was going to have no choice, but I still physically was incapable of doing it myself. So my mom was like, you know what? I'm going to come. So she gets on a plane and she comes to me, and in that moment when I saw her walk up those stairs into the apartment, we just ran to each other and just started falling. And it was just so amazing to kind of be rescued, to have her come through for me.

[B]

He was home by this time, right?

[C]

Right. No, so it was a full two weeks that he was there. And then he stayed with some friends before flying back. And before even coming back to the apartment, he stayed at a friend's house again for a bit.

[B]

Oh. Oh. Probably smart. Okay.

[C]

Yeah. He was trying to avoid coming home.

[B]

Did he know you were getting ready to leave?

[C]

Yes. Yeah. When my mom did decide officially to come, I did tell him.

[B]

What did he say? Was he like, okay, bye.

[C]

Right. Yeah. He was being very like, I understand. Okay. What can I say? That kind of stuff. I told him too. Like, he's left me in a terrible position. I said, you've left me with no money, so that's concerning. And he's like, you know, there's money in the cupboard. Like, all my tip monies in there from the shows and stuff. Like, take what you need, take it all. I don't care. I just want you to do what you need to do. And, you know, silly me too, I was like, well, I'm not going to take all your money. And my mom's like, we're taking the money. Right.

[B]

This is marital property. What's mine is mine and what's yours is mine, fella. Goodbye.

[C]

Right. So it wasn't a ton of money. It was like just under. Like, it was around like two grand or so, but enough because I needed to buy luggage, because I needed to take my clothes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

So we had to go and buy, like, suitcases. I had to take Bruce to the vet to get pills so he could fly. Like, there were all these things I had to take care of and I had no money to do it. So we used the money in the cupboard and figured it all out and I had to leave Most everything behind. I basically had to fly back because I couldn't take everything, just my clothes and the cat. I had to leave, like, you know, things I decorated the house over, you know, a couple years. I had to leave photos and possessions, and I just kind of had to basically say whatever, like, forget it and maybe he'll bring him back with him. Maybe he'll. I don't know what's going to happen now. So we flew back around Thanksgiving, and a couple days later, after he'd stayed at his friend's house, he finally went back to the apartment. And that's the day he's decided he's never gonna speak to me again.

[B]

Okay. Wait, actually.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

I'm sorry.

[C]

Yes. I'm sorry.

[A]

So. So. No, nothing.

[C]

No, not a word.

[A]

Are you legally married?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

So are you trying to. Oh, so, boy.

[C]

Still, while all this is going on, and even while I'm at home, of course I'm trying to text him. I'm trying to figure things, like I'm. I'm trying, you know, friends are saying he's not really talking much. I'm thinking maybe he's gone into depression. And while I'm also doing this, I'm, of course, re going over a lot of the text messages. Oh, yeah, you're trying to make sense of a lot of it and just reliving it. And I'm also, like, screenshot, like, saving everything onto my phone just in case I'll need it. It. And one text message really stood out to me. And the way he worded it was very similar to how he described his previous girlfriend before me, Talia. Like, the verbiage was identical. And it hit me. Wait a minute. I said, I. I bet you he did this to her.

[B]

To her with you.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Those pictures.

[C]

Yes. So what I did is I was like, this might be weird, but I'm gonna do it. And I sent her a message. Message. And I basically just say, you know, this is probably really weird for you, but this is what's happened. And she sent me one almost immediately back. And she said, I've been waiting. I thought this day would come.

[B]

Oh, she knew. She knew.

[C]

Yeah. She hoped it would never, because she said she saw how we were in comparison to how they were, and she said it was very different. Different. And she thought maybe that they just weren't meant to be together.

[B]

So he cheated on her with you? Did she confirm that?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

In fact, when I met his lovely mother and grandmother. No, they were still together.

[B]

Wait, why didn't the mother and Grandmother.

[A]

What did he introduce you as like a romantic person or.

[C]

He did.

[A]

He was like, this is a girl I'm dating.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And they just were like, oh, oh yeah.

[C]

She proceeded to tell me that his mother knows and has known all along. Grandmother too. And his mentor. His mentor in fact encouraged this behavior at my wedding.

[B]

Wait, why?

[C]

Why the Elvis world, unfortunately, they want this behavior and that's why all of them act like this. They're all like this. Not one is a good husband, not one is a good Christian. Like they, they portray themselves to be. These men are all awful. And actually some of them predators, some of gotten in trouble with like underage people. Wow. It is disgusting the things that I've learned. And even after, it's so sad because now I want no part of them at all. Like, I don't want any part. Like I will never watch an ETA perform ever again because of the things that I've seen and what I know. Now they watch me walk off a cliff and just I guess any of their business. Oh yeah, they sat and watched me marry this person.

[A]

How do people do this?

[C]

Yes. And a mother like, I get you love your son, but like, where do you go like, son, you ain't acting right.

[B]

I have a 10 year old son and I'll be damned if I let him to do. I would be telling on him so fast.

[A]

I'd be like, immediately I'd be like, you walk up and apologize.

[C]

So she proceeded to tell me everything. And she said, honestly, she said she did come forward and tell me out the gate because she thought that I was one of those women who knew. She also said she didn't tell me because she did see us together as time went on and realized like, you know, he, he looks different, he looks happy. That's what's been the hardest for me is to be like, Was the whole 10 years fake? Was the whole thing fake? Because all these people on the outside looking in saw this happy. So it's so confusing because even she said she's like, he was different with you. He was. So she chalked it up to like, they just weren't meant to be together. Maybe that's why he acted, acted like shit. It was just how he was then, but he's not anymore.

[B]

So she didn't want to ruin a good thing if she thought he had actually.

[C]

Exactly, exactly. So I definitely don't fault her for not telling me. But I also felt bad because I was like, I would never have been with him if I knew y'all were a Couple, you know, like, she made me a side chick. So then I felt bad while I was talking with her because I was like, well, I broke this person's heart. She also told me that he was angry with her and had violent outbursts with her. So here's this violent guy again that I never met. And I'm pretty good intuition. So do members of my family everything, like, to be so sure that we were put on this earth for each other, like, how could I be wrong, you know? So you, you definitely try to find an answer.

[B]

Does your conversation with Talia like, help you start to move on at that point or were you still holding on quite a bit?

[C]

I was definitely holding on still quite a bit. So I talked to her a bit more. And to know that someone shares my experience on this side of it too was nice because most of what I was talking with was all the other women. So to have another victim in it to kind of tell me her side and stuff was. Was helpful because I was getting told around this time too, these women were saying that like, oh, he always told us that you never did anything for him and that his birthdays and all these holidays and stuff, you never made them special. And I was like, oh my God, I did all these things for him. So I could really connect with her on that as well because she did the same. She actually paid for all his startup stuff. Like while he was sort of being paid for jumpsuits, she paid for sound equipment. She said she's still in debt.

[B]

So he's always manipulated women to getting money out of them.

[C]

Yeah, yeah.

[B]

He was using them for sex. He was using them for money.

[C]

Oh, yeah. Thousands of dollars that he's conned, fully conned out of these people.

[B]

He's a con man and con.

[C]

His lifestyle and his job and his.

[B]

Career and their love for Elvis to do it.

[C]

It. Yes. Yeah. 100.

[A]

You call him yourself a tribute artist, right?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. She also told me how she found out is that he'd go to karaoke nights and have one night stands with women, come in and crawl into bed with her, like nothing.

[A]

Did you. I hope he was. I mean, it's just not safe.

[C]

I'll say. Yeah. Now the next thing, yes, I did ask him, I said, were you using protection with all these people? Because it sounds like there's a lot.

[B]

No, of course.

[C]

And he said out to me, no. So I had to spend an afternoon when I got back here getting tests and stuff like that. Of course. I'm, I'm good. I'm Fine. It sounds like everyone's okay. But I was so shocked because we learned this stuff when we're young. The fact that you were just, like, with. With potentially, like hundreds of women here, like, you put my life at risk. Like, you 100% put my life at risk. I said, I could have got something. I could have gotten sick. You actively put my life at risk. And I was telling her this as well, and she said, yep, same thing he would tell women if they would question him about the protection, that because we. He'd never had a chance to be a father, he was okay with knocking him up, essentially. So I found out another thing from her, that he would go on all these one night stands, come home, sleep with her. Found out that he actually once put her in the trunk of his car.

[B]

I'm sorry, what?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Like, jawbreaker.

[C]

Yes. So I found out that they were leaving a restaurant, and he had this old Cadillac, El Dorado 77, like an Elvis Cadillac that he had owned. And it was a really big car. She was very tiny. And he goes, hey, I want to do something. I got, like, a joke. It'll be funny. It'll be funny. And she's like, what? And he's like, just get in the truck trunk. And she's like, no. Like, yeah. And he's like, no, come on. Like, just get in the trunk. And she's like, it seemed weird, but we had been together two years at this point, and he'd never hurt me or done anything, you know, like, so you're kind of like, all right, like, this doesn't seem like a joke, but let's like, okay. So she gets in the trunk, and he shuts the lid, gets in the car, starts driving. He then starts to say, oh, my God, there's cops. The cops are. They're trying to pull me over. And she's screaming, she's freaking out. She's banging on the trunk. She wants out. She's. Now she's freaking out even more because they're gonna get in trouble. There's cops involved. Well, he pulls the car over. She says it feels like forever. It's probably just a few minutes. And he whips the trunk door open, and he's got a cigar in his mouth, and he is laughing hysterically. Hysterically. Laughing hysterically at her. It was all a prank. It was all a joke.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

I have no words.

[B]

I have no words.

[C]

Yeah. Yeah. And in that moment, she said she knew, like, that there's something wrong, that he was.

[A]

Something wrong with him.

[C]

Wrong. Yeah. Really wrong. And I said that to her because I said, this doesn't make any sense. The brutality and the way he's treated me and you and even the girl before Talia. He cheated on her with Tal, and it's just been a vicious cycle.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

So she said, well, yes, actually. When she found out about a relationship he'd been carrying on, not just the one night stands and stuff, like a full blown relationship, she confronted him about it. He left because they were living together at this time, and he went to do a show. She stayed at home bawling, thinking her life is over, you know, and she called his mother. Mother. What? She said, so his mom comes over to console her and basically says, yeah, you know, he. He does this.

[B]

He does this.

[C]

Yeah. This isn't the first time I thought y'all were going to get married. Maybe y'all can work through this kind of thing. And when Talia heard that, that's when she started digging herself and even finding more and more and more women. So the mom kind of brought it to life light how bad this actually is.

[A]

You ever talked to anyone in his family after finding out they knew?

[C]

I ended up getting there for sure. She tried to reach out to me when it was really fresh, but I didn't want to speak to her in that moment because it was just.

[B]

You wanted to punch her in the face.

[C]

Yeah. So I wanted to wait. And especially after knowing more, I wanted to wait till then. And then when I'm finding out that she's a part of this equation, I'm like, oh my God. But because I still had no clarity and because he's ghosted me and I've had no additional conversations really about it other than my own and with her, because I still haven't gotten really any answers. And that's where a lot of blame for me falls on the mother also, because it's like you're just allowing victim after victim after victim. Like you, like, if you have the power to at least help somebody or warn them, whether they stay with your son or not, at least you've given the ball and like to their court, you've been like, look, my son has. Has troubles with fidelity and stuff like that, you know, like, at least try.

[A]

To talk to him.

[C]

Well. Right. Get him help, something. If anyone would have done anything that maybe it wouldn't have turned out like this, maybe it wouldn't be like this. Maybe I wouldn't have lost 10 years of my life, you know, so there's a lot of anger there too.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And Talia was like, I only had two years. You had a decade. And he didn't marry me. She said, so when he left me for you, she said it was a very easy cut and dry. He never spoke to me again. And I'm thinking, surely that's not how he's gonna treat me. We're married. You can't just ghost your wife. Like, it doesn't work like that. You have a life together. You have things you gotta come to the table, you gotta talk. So here I am now. Yes, I'm back here at the family home. I have to live with my parents. I have no job, no phone, no car, no nothing. I'm faced with that. I had some friends come together. They ended up getting me a cell phone and a plan. And my grandparents have lent me their car because I still have no vehicle. And my old job actually reached out because I'd maintained some friendships with some co workers and, you know, they got me a job back and, you know, so just kind of part time and slow to start because I was just so mentally like, I just. It was kind of baby steps there for a bit. But around Christmas, so like, after I'd gotten back fairly recently, after I'd gotten back back, I found out, like I said, that he got to the apartment and that was the day that he was like, no, I'm not going to talk. I'm not going to. I'm just going to close myself off. I'm going to disappear. So he basically, through friends and other people I found out, packed up everything, he gave away, pretty much all of our stuff. I knew that he was going to have to try to make it home before Christmas. I knew because I was like, he wants mom to lick his wounds. He wants to be home for Christmas and get gifts, have everyone tell him it's going to be okay and spend the holidays with his family, you know, So I knew for sure he was going to make the trip back. And in that moment, I thought I could trust that.

[A]

So I'm not ready.

[C]

Just before he starts making the trek home, I sent a message to his mom and I just said, hey, I think it's about time we speak. And she agreed. So she called me up, of course, devastated, telling me I'm. I'm her daughter and she's so mad at him and of course said that this isn't the son I raised. And I told her everything. I left out really gory details because I was like, look, you're the mother, like, you don't need to know. Some personal stuff, I said, but I told her everything. Told her about the tattoo, told her about. Like, she was just like, oh. Like, she was just horrified the more she found out. And she's like, yeah, there's something wrong. And I said, well, there is something wrong, and he needs help.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Someone needs to get to the bottom of this here, because it's ruining lives and it's destroying people, and it's not just me. The body's in his wake. There's so many people that he's destroyed. Destroyed. And, oh, of course, like, we're gonna get him help. If. If we do, is there a chance of reconciliation? And at this point, hell to the now. Right? And she's like, well, I'm gonna work on this, and I feel your pain. I've been cheated on. And as a woman, not just his mother, I'm in your corner because of all the things I knew, I knew that what she was telling me just wasn't true. And, yeah, I just felt there wasn't really any need to really call her out on it, but I just wanted to kind of hear what she had to say.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And of course, she left the conversation saying, I'm going to give him your new phone number and it's all going to be fine, and we're going to get to the bottom of this somehow, and we'll keep in touch. I got a message about a week later. He had gotten back here. He'd moved in with her, and he had Uber delivered my stuff to the house because he's refusing to see me.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Good.

[C]

So I thought that was very strange. She messaged me and was like, yep, your stuff's going to be there in, like, a half an hour. That was it. And I was so furious at that point, I messaged her back and I said, okay, well, thanks for letting me know. I said, but is your son really never plan on speaking to me ever again, like, we're married? And she said, oh, no, he does, but you really need to be patient because he's got a lot to figure out.

[B]

Oh. Oh, okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I can't.

[C]

Yeah. So that was the last time I heard from her. I never heard from him. Like, I said, as of that, 23rd November, when he got back to the apartment and he started getting rid of everything and moving back. I have never heard from him since. Not one word. Not one. I tried to reach out to him a few times in December. He just ignored them. He actually even stopped reading them.

[B]

Wow.

[C]

And his grandmother? Same thing. His Grandmother and my grandmother actually had a pretty special relationship. She refused to speak to my grandmother, take my grandmother's calls.

[A]

Do you think he's lying about you to them?

[C]

Imagine so.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I. I'm sure he lied to freaking.

[B]

Frack and Frack and Frick, of course.

[A]

Just that's the only language he speaks.

[C]

I'm sure he's told them all, I'm terrible. I'm crazy. I do know that he told some people, just through the grapevine, you know, that I apparently overreacted. Did. Oh, okay. And that I took all his money.

[B]

The money that he told you to take from the cupboard, that you were married to him, so technically it's yours too.

[A]

That he told you to take.

[C]

Exactly. Which apparently can sustain me for years. Like, I mean, it's like, here's $2,000. I'm not talking about. Exactly. Exactly. And so that's been really hard to deal with because like you said, there. There's no closure. It's like my husband was, like, abducted by aliens. Like, he's just disappeared. I don't know where he is. I don't know what he's doing. I don't know.

[A]

Is he on the social medias? Did he block you?

[C]

See, he didn't block me, but he has really gone off the grid. Like, he rarely uses it. And it would be kind of hard for me because it's like, man, just talk to me like, I'm your wife. This is so nuts to have this as, like, the end to, like, this. I'm just never gonna see him again. He's so crazy that he can just close it off and continue his life, no problem. Yeah, but I can't. So the last I've heard, he's trying to join the army. He wants. Yeah, like, because he gave up Elvis altogether. All together. Quit, quit, donated his clothes that were worth so much money. Tried to do this whole, like, oh, the jumpsuit made me do it.

[B]

The jumpsuit made me do it.

[C]

I haven't heard that one. He did. He actually said to a friend that the jumpsuit got to him.

[B]

I want to tell you how. First of all, I know that there's a part of us that goes, oh, this is what I have to do now. But I want you to know, first of all, how brave you are. You went through something for 10 freaking years, got the rug swept out from underneath you. And at this point, you don't have to live with your family like, you get to live with your family now. You are with people who love you. You now get to tell this story on a platform form of strength, surrounded.

[A]

By people that love you. People and.

[B]

And you're such a badass. How are you feeling now?

[A]

One year is not a long time.

[B]

It's not.

[A]

It's like a day.

[B]

Where are you in your healing?

[C]

Well, that's the thing. I've had a really hard time with that. I've really gone up and down. I've had to get myself therapy, and it's been really bad. There were a number of months when I first moved back. I did not leave this bed. I did not go out. I did not not see anyone, talk to anybody. Because it's also, like, now I'm not 25. I'm 35.

[B]

And now you have to start over.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

Oh, I know that feeling. I am.

[A]

So he, like, robbed you. He robbed you.

[B]

He did.

[C]

And I know the reality of it is it's gonna be harder now. Like, now it's gonna take me so long to trust someone again already, like, now again. So it's a lot of that. It's a lot of, like you said, like, blaming myself, too, or, like, trying to look back and think of, like, what I could have prevented, what I could have done differently. Oh, you do. You do. And, like, some people are insensitive, too. Like, I've had to eject myself from the Elvis world quite a bit because, like, I get all these people saying, like, well, you should. You should have known something. Or, what did you expect? He's a performer.

[B]

That's like saying, you wore a short skirt. You deserved it. Exactly that.

[C]

Exactly. I was like, come on, this man was my husband. I trusted him.

[B]

He gave you no reason to suspect otherwise. So it's like, oh, well, you. You should. You should feel dumb for not knowing.

[A]

Like, the person that should be doing anything differently is him.

[C]

And then to have guys who'd chosen to treat me so terribly even before him, it's that, like, what am I doing? All I wanted was to fall in love, get married, and live happily ever after. You know, I've never wanted money. It was always just so important to me to have, like, my little, tiny chosen family and just be happy. And to me, he was it. I even told him as I was throwing him out, like, I would have held your hand when you took your last breath. I would have bathed you. I would have fed you. Like, do you understand? Understand? That's the type of love I had for you. And you're totally cool with just giving that up for sex with strangers, like.

[B]

And now you still have to Deal with him through the divorce. You still have to deal with every. All the legalities and all of, like, all the paperwork. And it's not over.

[C]

It just keeps going.

[A]

And.

[C]

And that's what's been the hardest part of it too, is like, you think like, okay, once you find out. No. Because he's the gift that keeps on giving. For sure. I. I'm still being tortured by this person. So after I got along and talked with Talia, we ended up meeting up. We ended up having coffee. Like, she's actually done some, like, tattoos for me. So we share a really special kind of bond now. Weird bond.

[A]

Trauma bond.

[C]

Yes. Yes. So I'm happy that we've been able to become friends.

[B]

I want to come visit and get tattoos with you.

[C]

I got an Elvis themed one too. It was an Elvis themed one.

[A]

I was gonna ask you if he fucked up your relationship with Elvis. Cause you had that first.

[C]

Yes. See, so it has a bit. Because something that brought me so much joy and I used to thank for finding me my husband and my circle and my job and my career, being able to dedicate my life to him. I was so grateful for that, to be able to do that. And now it brought me the worst person. So I am mad at it. I am mad at the Elvis world about what I found out. Like I said, finding out about certain people that I knew, like, doing horrible things.

[A]

And his mentor being like, yes.

[B]

Yeah. His mentor, his friends, his parents, his mom.

[C]

Yeah. So it really changed my outlook on it. But I was very determined to not let him take Elvis away completely. Elvis hasn't been as big of a part of my life this past year. I haven't listened to any of his music as much. I would say I like the Elvis movie is like, my favorite. I haven't been able to watch it. I haven't been back to Graceland. I do want to, though. I'm definitely determined to go back and make different memories.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was about to say that could be the one thing that heals you in the future when you're ready to be at that point. Yeah. It'll find you.

[C]

Yeah. And like, the. The song I walked down to the aisle to, of course, like, can't Help Falling in Love. That's a big one for me. And I actually, actually listened to it all the way through for the first time yesterday. So that was a big deal. I managed to get through it. Of course I cried, but I managed to get through it. It's kind of building back up that relationship. I did have with Elvis, because he. He really is such a massive part of my life that.

[A]

And you deserve.

[C]

You know, I do miss him. Like, I do miss, like, him being around me so much. So.

[A]

He's just one shitty impersonator.

[C]

He's not Elvis. I know. So I am angry at him for that because it's like, he used my interests and our bond and the things that we shared against me. I am really angry at him for changing my perception on the things that I love and care about. Because even if I get over it, there's still gonna be a tie in to Elvis and him and our story that I'm just never gonna be able to shake. Like, it's always gonna be sort of different.

[A]

I'm so grateful that you shared all of this. And the details, like we've said, are just, like, going to resonate with so many people who have their own version of this story. And I hope you know that he.

[B]

Was a conversation man. He was a liar. He was a con man. He was a cheater.

[A]

And that is not you at all. It's not you at all.

[C]

Yeah. And like I said, I still. I'm finding out little blips here and there.

[B]

You have to keep us updated because I want to know. Like, I need to know if you want to, but, like, it's still kind.

[C]

Of actively going on, so it's like I said, he's a gift that keeps on giving. I keep getting little surprises.

[A]

Yeah. Literally, that's. You just have to laugh. I mean, I want to hear how you go about, like, serving him divorce papers. Like.

[C]

Yeah. Because it's like, who do I send them to? I don't know where he is. I don't know. Like, I know you wait your whole life for the guy that they say to wait for, you know? And he was. He was the guy they tell you to wait for. He was the one that held the doors open for. He was like. And that's kind of why I wanted to share my story, too, because it's, like, it can be the guys that are perfect, too. It's not always the guys that wear their asshole on the sleeve, you know?

[B]

Someone else to tell you.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

That's why it was so, so unbelievable, because there was no indication of it from him. So that's. But thank you again for sharing your story. Thank you.

[A]

You deserve everything.

[C]

Thanks so much. It was great to talk to y'all.

[B]

Listen, Elvis, I don't like any of it from the. Okay, the first of all.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Where do we even start? If you if you're newer, the dogfish debrief is where we just kind of go through what we learned, things we can take away. We're not therapists. We're just like, girls. I got a debrief. I have Darvo written down. We talked about that.

[B]

Oh, yeah, I wrote down Darvo.

[A]

Y'all, can you refresh our memory? It's deny attack and then reverse victim and offender. Right.

[B]

So basically, did not. You basically say, no, I didn't. You did this. Blah, blah, blah, blah. And then reverse the or. Now you're not. You're reversing victim and offender. You're not the offender anymore. Now you're the victim. And that's. That's what he did. Like, that's what it was.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

If you look at that.

[C]

That.

[B]

There's a lot of times when you wonder if someone's lying, usually they go right into Darvo mode and flip it back on you. And that's how you know they're lying is because they're trying to pull that. And I. I know that I've done that. Sometimes, like, if I'm fighting with my husband and I know that I'm wrong, I'll be like, well, nuh. Because, you know, and so, I mean, on a smaller scale, of course, but it happens.

[A]

It happens. I feel like it happens a lot with, like, tone of voice where people will, like, say, like, well, I don't like how you're saying that. And then it's like, don't yell at me. And then all of a sudden, what you've said because you yelled or said it, or maybe you didn't even yell, and they're just saying that you said it certain way is, like, invalidated. And I'm with you. I'm, like, saying that has happened to me. And also that I've done it. Like, I've. I've darvo'd my mom, and I apologize publicly. I'm sorry, but not to this extent. This is like, it. It's like messing with your mind. It's gaslighting. It makes you doubt yourself and feel crazy that you have these feelings.

[B]

Speaking of gaslighting, can we talk about how whenever they. They confronted. Whenever the two girls, the two side pieces, they weren't mad that he was married. They were mad about that he was seeing the other one. They both. So both of his side pieces knew he was married, and they were fine with it, but as soon as they find out he had a different side piece, they were pissed. And that's why everything came out and it's like, how does that work? Like, I'm just. Just curious.

[A]

That's the kind of thought process that is very hard to wrap your head around. Because, yeah, you would think that they would. Even as they bring it to the wife, like, they know what they're doing is wrong. That's why they were attracted to it. Like, they know that she. That he has a wife, and that's wrong. Yeah, they'd be more embarrassed, but really, they were just so mad that they didn't even think about her. So that's not super cool. That's not girl code.

[B]

It's really not. But I will say that sometimes it's easy to. When you're attracted to someone, you want to believe what they say initially. Right. And most of the time, you're the villain.

[A]

You're.

[C]

He.

[B]

He made her the villain, and he made himself seem like the victim. Like, oh, she doesn't treat me right. Woe is me. So they felt sorry for him. And so also, if you think about how, like, you talk about fixing people sometimes when you hear, like, oh, that's so sad. That's how a lot of affairs start. Is talking about, oh, my. My partner doesn't do this for me. And they. It makes me sad. And it's up to the other person to be like, I get to be a hero. I can save you. And so that's why they were okay with the wife, because she treated him horribly and he didn't love her. But as soon as they found out there was another girlfriend, were like, I held to the no. And so I think that's really interesting.

[A]

That makes so much sense and is also so, like, when she found out what he had been saying about her, the betrayal there is so bad as much as the cheating, even though it.

[B]

Wasn'T true and she knew it wasn't true.

[A]

Right.

[B]

The fact that he had the audacity to say it out loud.

[A]

Audacity. I love that they were called sideburn chasers, though. One, like, takeaway, I learned that that's with somebody that likes Elvis impersonation, procrastinators. Okay.

[B]

And then to find out about the drugs, like, it starts to make sense. And you're like, now things are starting to make sense with the drugs. Like, the way that you can. The way that he could be one way with her and a different way with them, then it really starts to add up and make sense.

[A]

That's so crazy and sad and again, feeling like you just were in the dark the whole time. Like, to find out that there Was this whole other thing going on, on in your life is so hard and also so not her fault. Let us clarify because I, I heard something actually from Dr. Romney Duvasula. She's the author of the book that we're reading on the Patreon Book Club. And this is. I was talking to Molly about it. She says that she has a problem with the concept of red flags. And that is that it kind of makes it seem like the person. Person should have known better. Where it's like, that was a red flag. It's like make. It makes it. It can imply that. It's like, well, you should have seen.

[B]

The red flag rather than seen the red flag. I did see the red flags. I thought there was a certain.

[A]

I liked it. Yeah, they were pretty. And I think, I think there's like two sides to it where the red flags are valuable because it helps us know what.

[B]

That's a good point to think about.

[A]

I know. I liked it too. I was like, oh, yeah. It's all, it's like we can acknowledge that there are red flags that we can look for and also say, and those behaviors are the fault of the per. The bad guy. Like, they're bad. It's not your fault if they happen.

[B]

If you didn't see the red flags, that it's still not your fault.

[A]

Right. We're just doing our best to look for them. I love her, guys. That's a good segue. December 19th on Patreon. We're doing a zoom book club for her book. It's not you. And even if you don't read it, it's about narcissism. And she's coming so you can ask her questions. She's a PhD psychologist expert. Come, come through. Sign up on Patreon.

[B]

What time are we doing that on the 19th?

[A]

Oh, yeah. 7:00pm Eastern Time, 4:00pm Pacific Time.

[B]

I just think that's so cool. That's going to be amazing coming from the author. I think that's amazing.

[A]

And I'm sure she would listen to this and call him a narcissist, because he certainly was. And we should talk about how he like non consensual violence during sex. Sex counts as non consensual sex. Like you can say. You can say no at any point.

[B]

Is the thing I have. Okay, so I have something to say about that.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So we've talked a lot about. So there's different strokes for different folks. Right? So everybody has a different preference, a different style, whatever. But there comes a point, like Hannah said, where There still needs to be consent so you can be enjoying it. But the minute it gets violent or to a point where you no longer enjoy it, no is a complete sentence that ends it. It is done. That transaction is over. Right. There's no, like, it's done. When you say no. That's it. And a lot of people, I feel, have this idea that, like, well, I've already. We're already initiated. We're already engaged in this sexual act. You can't say no now because now it doesn't matter. No, no can be anytime, anytime. And.

[A]

And you have conversations before, ideally. Like, that's why safe words exist.

[B]

Well, and that's why whenever we get into relationships, like, we should take them seriously, not just put our willy nilly in any freaking thing. All willy nilly. And sleeping with multiple people, way unprotected is not informed consent. That is unconsensual.

[A]

Say it again.

[B]

Yeah. It is not informed consent when you are sleeping with multiple people unprotected and not telling the others. The potential of spreading things is great. And it is. That is ill informed. I. It's not consent. I'm sorry, but it's not consensual.

[A]

It's. No, it's not. You don't have the ability. It's the same way that, like, if you're really drunk, it's not informed consent. Like, if you. You are not able to say yes with the information that is important to your safety.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Then that's not okay. And if you're married, you there can, you know, you can still say no. Like, it doesn't matter.

[B]

You get married does not mean that for the rest of your life. Every sexual act is consensual. Like, there needs to be a. An enthusiastic. Yes. An enthusiastic form of consent with every act. No is an answer. Even if you've already said yes.

[A]

It feels like a. Like, I'm sure to some people, they're like, yeah, yeah, this conversation's gotten more popularity since the MeToo movement and stuff like that. But I think it is a lot easier to talk about than to execute in the moment.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And that's why we are broken records on it. Also, like, have. Just talk to your partner.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Let us know what your safe words are. That's my homework. It's a little silly, but if it drives you to have a conversation that you've never had with your partner about coming up with the safety. Safe word and have fun with it.

[B]

Well, it's an interesting date night conversation too. Instead of like, oh, how's the kids. How's your work? You could say, like, hey, I was listening to the Dating Detectives podcast and they were talking about safe words and, like, you know, different, you know, sexual things.

[C]

What if you have one?

[A]

Pick a new one.

[B]

Have a fun conversation about what would you choose for a safe word? And little things like that can really spark a fun conversation.

[A]

There's also something called a yes, no, maybe list. Maybe you've heard of it. Google it. It's literally just a list of stuff you could do during sex. And you can just go down and say you don't even have to get into.

[B]

That's so fun.

[A]

I know. It's a fun. It's a flurry. You might not get through the list is all I'm saying.

[B]

It might spark some fun conversation and really learn more about each other.

[A]

See, consent. You're. You're. What you're doing is having conversations about your comfort level.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

In a hot kind of way. I'm going to look one up. Maybe I'll put it somewhere, like in our story or something. Not to be like a sex podcast, but we're not. Not.

[B]

Well, it's. It's interesting because the only reason that I really wanted to talk about that was because of the violent sex that he wanted to have with the other ladies, but not with her.

[A]

And also just like, having sex without protection.

[B]

And it was being perpetuated by his mentor, his best friends, his family. They all knew.

[A]

How about the industry just normalizing it? Like, what? Yeah, hell, that happens so much.

[B]

Everybody knew. And with everybody that he loves just being okay with it. They're perpetuating it. Right. Like, they're, They're. This is. They're just encouraging him to do it more. There was no accountability for him.

[A]

I love men who hold other men accountable in spaces like that. Like, I know it's hard. So if, you know, I think there's so many industries where it's like, just normal to have affairs, normal to have a side chick. Also the fact that at the beginning, this is jumping back to the beginning of the story when he told her he had cheated in the past. Past. And yes, the family and her. She said she asked a guy friend, like, and they all were like, he was young. He was an Elvis impersonator. Don't hold him standard, which I understand. Like, I. Especially if he was 8, if he said, you know, maybe he wasn't saying the truth, but if he said he was super young and it was so different then. Yeah, it's hard to expect anyone to be perfect. Perfect walking into a relationship, and you do have to decide what you're willing to tolerate and move through. And also, I think actions speak louder than words so they can tell you the truth. But then it's like, okay, show me that you've grown.

[C]

But it's hard.

[A]

It's hard to know. And it's. It's. All you can do is take the risk and take the relationship as far as you can until you find a couple ladies that text you and say, he's got some business elsewhere. He's the devil in disguise. Guys, there it is. Elvis.

[B]

And let's give a shout out to Talia.

[C]

Hello.

[B]

Whenever Kylie talked to Talia, Talia was like, oh, man. And I'm just glad that. I'm glad that she was able to find a trusted ally in Talia, too.

[A]

Yeah. That. The trunk thing, the humiliation that gave me gooseies.

[B]

Like, I was like, I could imagine how scared she must have been, and then I could imagine. Imagine how Kylie must have felt hearing that. Like, when you know somebody so well or you know, you know, what they've let you know about them and then to hear that they've done something else, you're like, what? There's no way, like, that's. That's the dogfish in it for me. To him, like, I feel like that's what makes him the dogfish is that he was one person with her, but he was a totally different person with these other women. He's the gift that keeps on giving, she said.

[A]

I wrote it down.

[B]

He's the gift that keeps on giving.

[A]

You have to laugh. I mean, I loved her positivity and, like, how she's been able to move through this even. So many people knew he was doing it too. I just can't imagine. And I'm so impressed by her and grateful for her. She was such a delight.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Despite everything. And I'm glad that she still has love for Elvis and has found a way to make that relationship with her. Her icon.

[B]

Yeah. Because you.

[A]

Somewhat new.

[C]

That's someone that.

[B]

Like, when you have someone like that, like a celebrity like that that you really look up to. And then I can imagine how this kind of crushed her vision of that. And obviously, as time goes on, it'll be easier too, but it's still really fresh. And so I'm really hopeful that she finds that peace with it and can really get back to her love for Elvis and the connection that she had to him.

[A]

So it's a good, like, it's a very tangible example of, like, Sometimes. Sometimes you are like, oh, me and my partner have different taste in movies or different taste in.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Music. And you might think that's a bad thing, but that just means you guys are individuals. It's okay. And.

[B]

Yeah, that's okay.

[A]

It's. It's just, like, so important to hold on to stuff that makes your identity yours and keep that independent. It's not to say that you can't be a partner, but you have. You, and that's all you'll ever have. That's the only guarantee.

[B]

Well, that's. That kind of reminds me of mine and your relationship. Like, we're so different, but we come together so well. Like, whether it's a friendship relationship or a romantic, intimate relationship, like, it's okay to have. Like, Hannah, I have so many differences, but we still respect and love one another, and that's that sense of community that we've, that we've all created that I think is really cool. And we can come together and kind of support one another, you know, despite our differences. And I think you can do that in relationships also. Like, it doesn't.

[A]

It makes them better.

[B]

I think so, too. There was so much in this episode. There was a lot to cover and talk about. So, So I hope that, I hope you guys are still listening, but I would love to hear your feedback.

[A]

Telling people that you're cheating at the beginning of a relationship.

[B]

Yeah, telling.

[A]

If you tell that you've cheated in the past. No, by the way, I'm cheating right now.

[B]

No, I, like, I want to hear, like, if you're dating someone and they say, by the way, I want to let you know this, like, I've, I've cheated in relation. Is that a deal breaker or is this, like, I don't know, to tell you. Like, I, I, I just feel like, personally, I feel like it. Whatever you've done in past relationships is just par for the course. Like, there's, it doesn't mean you're gonna continually do it in this relationship. You know what I mean? Like, we have different feelings, but I want to hear from you guys, like, what do you guys think? And, yeah.

[A]

Or like, it has it. Because I think it's case by case. So if it's, if you've experienced it going well versus not like.

[B]

And I wrote down also, if there's a therapist or someone who is a counselor in some way, especially in relationships, we would love to hear your thoughts on any of this stuff. Because we're like, we, we have a mouthpiece, but we don't have like PhDs in therapies.

[A]

How could you tell? No, we're just happy to be able to give people the opportunity to share what they've been through if they want. And it's so special that so many of you feel like sharing your story is cathartic because it helps others in the process in a way that you don't have to do. Like, you can just move on and put it behind you if that's what's best for you. And to be that courageous is where, like, we don't ever take it for granted. To Kylie and all our guests.

[B]

Yes, it's so. It's so important to us, and my stomach is in knots that we are so, so far around the globe and how much you guys have helped to grow the podcast and spread awareness and talk about these things that are happening. And every single conversation we have on the show, no matter how long the Dating Detectives Podcast lasts, whether it's years or months or whatever, whatever we're blessed to have, every conversation is going to make a difference in someone's life. So keep sending us your stories. I'll give you the email address. It's Investigate the dating detectives podcast.com. please don't hesitate to send us your stories. And we. We would love to be a voice for you if you need that. And we just really appreciate your love and support and supporting one another and for this community and the. Also to our Patreoners, who support us with the $5 a month. And by the way, on the Patreon, you get two bonus episodes a month, so join the Patreon. It's in the show notes. And I guess that's all, is it? Are you done with your dogfish?

[A]

I mean, I'm sure we forgot. Tell us all your things. We want to hear what you love, Kylie. Yeah, we don't love Elvis impersonators, apparently. And we love you.

[B]

Yeah, we love you guys. Thank you so much for listening, listening. And as always, trust your intuition.