Mackenzie Undercover: The Garage Sale

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Dating Detectives – Episode: "Mackenzie Undercover: The Garage Sale"

Introduction to the Episode

In the February 10, 2025 release of The Dating Detectives, hosts Mackenzie Fultz and Hanna Anderson delve into a captivating undercover investigation titled "The Garage Sale." This episode showcases Mackenzie's expertise as a professional Private Investigator and Hanna's comedic insights as they navigate the intricate web of deceit within the dating world.

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The Undercover Operation Begins [05:00 – 10:00]

The episode kicks off with Hanna introducing her two-part story, explaining how she went undercover to surveil a woman involved in a liability case. Hanna outlines her role: "document what they're doing, not to determine if they're injured, not to determine if they're lying" ([05:24]).

She sets the scene for a typical surveillance operation focused on a woman attending multiple yard sales. Hanna explains the challenges of blending into a community event crowded with people: "with a yard sale or garage sale, there are so many people out and about that it's kind of easy to blend in" ([08:18]).

Encounter with Maxine [15:00 – 30:00]

As Hanna tracks the subject through various yard sales, she encounters Maxine, an elderly woman who aggressively confronts her: "This lady comes beating on my window with her, with the palm of her hand. Bang, bang, bang" ([16:19]). Startled by Maxine's sudden intrusion, Hanna reacts instinctively to defend her personal space: "I take my hand and palm her right in the face" ([18:43]).

The confrontation leaves Hanna puzzled and concerned, leading her to investigate Maxine further. She recounts, "I just happened to catch a glance of it [Maxine's name tag], and I'm just like. She is just hollering at me" ([24:08]).

Unveiling the Saga on Social Media [30:00 – 45:00]

Determined to understand Maxine's behavior, Hanna conducts a deep dive into her social media presence. She discovers an elaborate public feud between Maxine and her husband, Magoo. Hanna reveals, "he's just going on about how she's A hussy" ([38:46]), highlighting the dramatic exchanges and community backlash against Magoo for allegedly hiring a private investigator to follow Maxine ([34:21]).

Hanna and Mackenzie discuss the complexities of online confrontations among seniors, noting how Maxine and Magoo's interactions resemble "middle school drama" ([35:43]). They explore the possibility of underlying issues such as dementia affecting Maxine's behavior: "maybe something like that happens" ([49:29]).

Ethical Reflections and Surveillance Insights [45:00 – 60:00]

The hosts delve into the ethical implications of surveillance work. Mackenzie questions Hanna's choices, pondering the consequences of such investigations: “What would you have done?” ([47:10]). Hanna emphasizes the importance of safety and ethical conduct in her role: "if you have to, I'll just be like, no, silly, come on" ([55:02]).

They introduce the concept of DARVO (Deny, Attack, Reverse Victim and Offender) as a manipulative tactic often encountered in abusive interactions: "darvo is a term that we use to express, explain, like, it's a manipulative tactic" ([53:52]).

Community and Listener Engagement [60:00 – End]

Towards the end of the episode, Mackenzie and Hanna encourage listeners to share their own stories and experiences related to dating deceit and surveillance. They emphasize the importance of community support and awareness in identifying and combating deceptive behaviors in the dating landscape.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Hanna on Standard Surveillance Protocols: "My job is just to watch what they are doing, videotape it, document it, send it to my client" ([05:25]).

• Hanna on Blending In at Yard Sales: "With a yard sale or garage sale, there are so many people out and about that it's kind of easy to blend in" ([08:18]).

• Hanna on the Confrontation with Maxine: "This lady comes beating on my window with her, with the palm of her hand. Bang, bang, bang" ([16:19]).

• Discussion on DARVO: "darvo is a term that we use to express, explain, like, it's a manipulative tactic" ([53:52]).

• Hanna Reflecting on Ethical Surveillance: "if you have to, I'll just be like, no, silly, come on" ([55:02]).

• Hanna on Community Impact: "They could have been in real danger. You never know" ([27:47]).

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Insights and Conclusions

"Mackenzie Undercover: The Garage Sale" offers a profound look into the nuances of surveillance within personal and legal contexts. Hanna's encounter with Maxine serves as a case study for unexpected challenges in investigative work, highlighting the emotional and ethical dilemmas faced by private investigators.

The episode underscores the importance of remaining vigilant and ethically sound while conducting surveillance. It also sheds light on how social media can both reveal and exacerbate personal conflicts, especially among older demographics.

Finally, the discussion between Mackenzie and Hanna emphasizes the delicate balance between professional duty and personal safety, advocating for responsible investigative practices and the necessity of community support in navigating the often murky waters of the dating world.

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Conclusion

This episode of The Dating Detectives not only entertains with Hanna's undercover escapades but also educates listeners on the complexities and ethical considerations of private investigations in the realm of dating. Through engaging storytelling and insightful dialogue, Mackenzie and Hanna provide valuable lessons on identifying deceit, managing confrontations, and the pivotal role of community awareness in maintaining trust and safety in the dating landscape.

Transcript

[A]

The following program contains names, places, and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7233 for support.

[B]

Happy Monday. Happy dating Detectives. Monday. Why do I always go to a British accent?

[A]

Because you're trying to seduce me.

[B]

Hashtag Spice Girls. I'm sorry, I can't.

[A]

I love the Brits.

[B]

And then I try to get my son to do it. I'm like, ryan, talk in British with me. And he's like, no, please go away.

[A]

He's like, mom, that's so. So Ohio.

[B]

He skippity Riz toilet. Whatever they're saying.

[A]

We were just talking about all the slang.

[B]

I don't understand any of it. But it's.

[A]

He's bilingual, though, which is really impressive for such a youth.

[B]

He is.

[A]

It's a whole other language. Hi, guys. It's a MacKenzie undercover day, which I think we need.

[B]

Yeah, we need. So I know that people get, like, legit upset when I tell these stories on my social. And then I come here and tell them because they're like, that's not fair. And I get it. So. But there is a story that I did just post on my social media, but it's kind of a two parter. And the first, I was. I was there to tell one story about my actual surveillance, but then there's like another part that has nothing to do with my surveillance that kind of goes into like a whole nother situation that I thought would be really fun to share on the podcast.

[A]

And did you not share it on Instagram, is what you're saying?

[B]

Not in detail.

[A]

See, and that's the other thing. It's like, I love the videos. They're so fun. Fun and like, snappy and you're hilarious. But there are so many details and questions and theories. So, yeah, expanding and discussing and learning.

[B]

Try to tell them, but nobody listens.

[A]

Fine, if they don't.

[B]

Every. Everybody.

[A]

As long as they're.

[B]

Please everybody. Also, I want to say our Patreon is blowing up, like, every single day. We are so grateful for everyone joining our Patreon. If you want to join us on the Patreon, it's $5 a month. You get two bonus episodes and you get all the good updates and early access to merch and stuff. But we. Our Patreon is just growing, and so we're so grateful for our little Patreon community. So thank you.

[A]

Many thanks.

[B]

If you want to join our Patreon, the. The link to join is on is in the show notes.

[A]

Also, you should make sure you're following us on Instagram. The last episode we did, Carrie, I'm sure many of you listened to it. We are able to help support her in raising some money for finding a local PI for her ongoing case. And we're posting that stuff like, yes, show notes of the episode, but like, definitely on Patreon and on social media. So if you want updates as we can give them to you, make sure you're following us wherever you can.

[B]

The story is just insane.

[A]

It's wild.

[B]

I just. You guys have to go. Listen. If you haven't listened to Carrie's the Stalker.

[A]

It's called.

[B]

Yeah, the Stalker. If you haven't listened to Carrie's episode, go back to the week before last and last week, because it was a two parter.

[A]

And also since we posted that fundraiser, we. You have raised almost thousand dollars for her, which is incredible.

[B]

Which is incredible. Like, this is. This is the pure definition of this sense of community. Like, you do not know how your little donation or what you might consider a little donation can be something huge for her. So thank you for supporting her. I just think that's so cool that everybody's kind of coming together.

[A]

I don't know how he's not in jail.

[B]

I don't get. I'm so. Whatever. I'm beyond. That's why we need a MacKenzie undercover episode, because it's so much like, yeah.

[A]

We need to, like, giggle and gag together. I almost said gag. I don't want to gag.

[B]

Don't say gag.

[A]

I want to be gagged by your story.

[B]

Hannah said she wants to be gagged.

[A]

Wait, guys. I just looked at it, and it had a certain amount, and then I just refreshed it. It had $100 more. Somebody donated in this moment.

[B]

Oh, my God. That's so cool.

[A]

So thank you. And I was just gonna say that we are always looking for ways that we can support our guests behind the scenes or with you. This is an ongoing case that she's dealing with, which is kind of the first time we've had a guest doing that, which is why we were able to, like, make sure the money's going directly to her finding a PI and that stuff. But if you're wondering, like, oh, I would love to, like, support more in the future in the. For past guests, like, we're trying to figure out ways to do that more, but this is just the first step, so just know that.

[B]

And you guys are amazing. Thank you so much for showing your support and, you know, coming together for her. So let's get into mackenzie Undercover.

[A]

Okay. Deep breaths. Let's do it.

[B]

So I have told this story on my social media, but not the part that everybody was like, wait, so what happened with that part? And I was like, that's not the story I was telling. So I'm. The beginning of the story will sound familiar. And then I'm gonna tell you what happens in the end with the latter part of the story. So Hannah hasn't heard it, so I'm gonna give you, like, just a breakdown from the beginning. So this is how it all started. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So I'm doing surveillance, which is like a normal. Let's just call it a liability case. So a liability case means that someone got injured, whether it be like a workers comp or a car accident, a slip and fall inside of a store. They've gotten injured and they're suing somebody because of it, right? And they're saying, I want to sue you because I need a jillion dollars because I'm really hurt, whatever. And so what happens is the insurance company and their attorneys, they want to save the company money, right? So they say, let's do surveillance on this person. Because if they. This person wants, like, let's say, $3 million and they can pay a private investigator $5,000 to do surveillance and prove that this person isn't really injured. It saves them a couple mil, right? So it's kind of one of those things. And that's a lot of the cases that I work is the, you know, those fraud cases, like billions and billions and billions of dollars a year, just fraud alone. Not to mention, like, real cases. Right? So typical. Typical liability case. And my job is to be Paul.

[A]

Blart, observe and report.

[B]

So, like, I really want a segue so bad, but I would fall off it. So, okay, so I'm doing this as a regular run of the mill surveillance. I go with my video camera. My job is to document what they're doing, not to determine if they're injured, not to determine if they're lying. That is not my job. My job is just to watch what they are doing, videotape it, document it, send it to my client, write a report, whatever. So I'm Doing surveillance on this woman and this liability case. And it happens to be early on a Saturday morning, and she decides that she's going to leave early to go yard sale. Okay. She leaves her house early, and you have no idea where they're going. You're just like, oh, she's leaving. We got to go. And I know with 20 years of experience that you got to get to a case early so you can catch these people doing what they're doing. Saturday morning is a great. Like, weekends are a great surveillance time because there's no telling. Most people work 8 to 5, Monday through Friday. They're average 7:20am Whatever. Weekends are a great time. So that's your free time. We're going to see what she's really doing. So I get. I get to her house early on a Saturday morning, she leaves, and she pulls into a neighborhood that happens to have a bunch of, like, yard sale, community yard sale, whatever. So this is a day that this large community has decided that they are going to have a yard sale. So everyone in the community that has decided to participate is doing it at the same time. Okay. So, yeah. So you basically have, like, all of these houses with their garage doors open and their driveway set up with tables and all of their knickknack. Whatever. Okay. That they're trying to sell. You guys know what a yard sale is? But in case you don't, that's what it is. People. It's like a garage sale. People just set their stuff out, and people come over, they're like $70, and they're like, I'll give you 25 cent. And that's how it works?

[A]

Pretty much.

[B]

Yeah. And then. Or they'll be like, I only have $3. Can you break 100? It's one of those. I hate yard sales.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

Anyway, so she's going yard sale to yard sale. And it's kind of difficult to do yard sales because when you're following someone, imagine, like, they stop often. The more often you're stopping behind them, the greater the chance they're going to see.

[A]

Yeah. They're going to be like, wow, we have this same taste and junk.

[B]

Exactly. But with a yard sale or garage sale, whatever, especially a community garage sale, there is so many people out and about that it's kind of easy to blend in, but you still want to kind of keep your distance. Right. So I'm following this lady, and she would, you know, stop at a house. And once I realized that. That she was going to participate in this. In this Yard sale. I felt better because I was like, oh, I can hide easier. And she's going to be going slow, so the chances I'm going to lose her are not very great. I could get out on foot and walk behind her if I wanted to.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So not super bad.

[A]

And you can like buy a picture frame or something. Right?

[B]

I could go check out the yard sale and offer them 12 cents. So there's a bunch of cars coming and going and there's. There'll be like seven or eight cars parked on the curb. So my car is not going to be super noticeable with, you know, among all these others and all these cars coming in now. Anyways.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

Yeah, it's like trick or treating.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah, you get it. Exactly. Well, one thing I don't want to do is get stuck in a cul de sac or have somebody back me in or block me in.

[A]

Are you driving?

[B]

Yeah. So, like, she's getting in her. Like she'll go look at a yard sale and she'll drive one house and then. Yeah, so she's driving from house to house too. So following in my car. So she pulls into this culdesac. Well, I decide I don't want to get blocked into this culdesac. So I pull into the culdesac, do a u turn and come out of the culdesac and park like where it bottlenecks into the culdesac where there's all these other cars parked. I blended right in, no problem. She didn't see me. She is just. She's out here all willy nilly, lifting up the heavy things. I'm just videotaping. Well, when I pulled out of the culdesac. I had my car parked facing away from her, so I was turned around in my driver's seat facing the back window so I could videotape her through the back window.

[A]

And you have tinted windows, which you've said before. But just so you guys know, nobody.

[B]

Can see what I'm doing inside. It's like double limo tent. It's really dark. No one can see anything. So there I was, minding this lady's business all, like, chilling like a villain and videotaping her. And next thing you know, scared the out of me. This lady comes beating on my window with her, with the palm of her hand. Bang, bang, bang. Like, oh. So I'm nervous as a cat in a room full.

[A]

Is it neighborhood watch?

[B]

Like, well, I didn't know who it was because I wasn't paying attention to that side of my car. I was facing out the back window. So whenever I'm looking out the back and I hear this, so I turn around real fast, and I'm like, whoa, I'm scared to death. Well, I'm thinking, okay, this woman, maybe she thinks I'm someone else. Or maybe she's just got a question for him. Like, there's a ton of people here. There's no way she suspects me of.

[A]

Like, she could be like, hey, you're blocking my car. Like, if you do anything.

[B]

Yeah. Something I didn't know. And I was like, you. This is easy. Like, I know how to talk to people. So if she. She got something to say, then we'll, you know, we'll talk about it. So I rolled down my window, thinking she's old as Methuselah. She's like, a hundred, give or take is fine.

[A]

This reminds me of the episode about Bertha.

[B]

Oh, yeah, the birth of the BMX boo thing episode.

[A]

Yeah. That was just we. You. Bertha is somebody who minds everybody's business.

[B]

She minds everybody's business. Well, this lady, she is a very, very old woman. So I wasn't super scared of her. And I was like, all right, I'll just make up something real quick, right? So she bangs on the window, and I roll down my window. Like. Like, press the button. The window goes down. And as the window's going down, the further down it gets, her face is just making its way into my car. Like, she is, like, craning her neck so that her face, like, her whole head is floating inside my car. And this is all happening so fast. Well, I was startled. And this happened so quickly. And she. Her face is in my bubble. And I take my hand and palm her right in the face, like, get away from me. And I just like, smack. But it was like, all. All you hear is like, smack.

[A]

Wait, did you. I mean, I get it because she was, like, coming at you. Yeah. And it was the forehead, the nose break, something.

[B]

I didn't know that she was going to, like, put her whole ass face in my car. And so now she's in my bubble, and so my gut instinct is to push, like, whatever, wax.

[A]

Wax off or whatever I do.

[B]

I hit her just right so that the palm of my hand whacked her, like, right in the nose. And I just kept, like. I didn't smack her and then pull my hand away. I just kept pushing, pushing. So now I smack, smack her and follow through by pushing her face out of my car. I felt real bad, too, because I was like, did I just abuse the elderly? I really did feel bad because I was like, I probably just. But you. It's a reaction.

[A]

Like, it's reflex. Self defense.

[B]

She coming at me. She's appalled, like, I have committed the greatest of crimes. And she's like, well, I. Like, she could not believe that I.

[A]

She was fine.

[B]

Yeah, she was fine. I didn't break her nose or nothing. Whatever.

[A]

She got into your car, basically. She was, like, trying to kiss you. Like, girl.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. Like my. Like, you have to get out. Like, you. You are. Now you are threatening my space. Well, I'm confused, right? Because now she just starts screaming at me, and I'm like, I still have no idea why this lady is standing outside my car hollering at me, and I can't. I can't tell what she's saying. And she's. She looks like Maxine from the. From those cartoons. And she got the. The pajamas, the. The nightgown with the slippers and the cigarettes. And she's got the little dog or cat and the rock and tear, and she's got the blue hair and the big glasses.

[A]

That's kind of like a ghost.

[B]

Yeah, kind of. It look. Google Maxine cartoon, and you'll see it right now. So this is. This is legit. Hannah's. Hannah's younger, y'all. She might not know who Maxine is. Fine, You'll. But when you see it, you'll know you've never seen her.

[A]

Oh, I have not. And now I'm looking at her, and I'm like, I love her.

[B]

Maxine is a little diva. She's like. Maxine is like grumpier old women. Anyway, so this is what this lady reminds me of, right?

[A]

Sure.

[B]

And so I don't know what's happening. She's just screaming nonsense at me. And then all I hear, like, the world stops turning. There's dead silence. And all I hear is, you tell that if I wanted a boyfriend, I would have one. Oh, oh. And I'm like, wait, I'm sorry, What?

[A]

There's a story there.

[B]

Huh? What. What does that mean?

[A]

So, okay, so she says that out of the blue.

[B]

Yeah, out of the blue. And I'm like, am I in the twilight? Like, am I working the wrong case? And I'm thinking, what's that like? And then I had to think about, like, what I was doing. And I was like, wait a minute. Okay, calm down. What? Because everything happened so fast. Like, all of that that I just described took, like, I don't know, seven seconds. Okay? And so I'm. I, like, had to think. And I'm like, okay, wait, wait. Okay, so hold on. I'm doing service on this lady. I'm sorry, what? Like, I don't get it. And so I'm, like, closing my eyes and just, like, rubbing my temples, and I'm like, what. What is. What. What are you. What do you mean? And she's like, if you keep following me, I'm gonna call the cops. Like, I mean, okay, call the. Like, what are you gonna do? Like, the cops can't do anything to me. Like, I'm licensed to be. It's fine, whatever.

[A]

And, you know, you're not following her, too. You're following.

[B]

I'm not following her. I've no idea. But I didn't know that's what she was saying at first. But I did notice that she's following along this yard sale path with me. With this lady, right? So I'm like, okay, well, she. And she's basically just saying, like, if you keep following me. If you keep following me. So then I was like, for sure. She thinks, like, she's noticed my car, which I don't know how out of all these bazillion people, but whatever. She notices my car and she thinks that I'm following her. Okay. And she says, you tell that mfer if I wanted a effing boyfriend, I would have one. First of all, good for you.

[A]

I guess.

[B]

She's old as dirt and she is out here doing the damn thing. Good for you. Yeah, like, she's rocking it. Okay, so, well, this lady. Now I'm intrigued. And I'm like, what in the goldfish crackers going on? Like, I. I have no idea.

[A]

And is she drawing attention to herself? Are people?

[B]

Yeah. Like, and then everybody's kind of looking, but there's so many people. Nobody really. Everybody's like, huh, What? I don't get it. And then everybody's like, kind of, you know, I'll give you 25 cents or.

[A]

Whatever, you know, that's one about being an elderly person, especially a woman. A lot of times people think they're invisible and write them off, which is pretty unfortunate because I wouldn't underestimate them.

[B]

I underestimated her because I rolled down my window thinking she ain't shit. Like, I ain't scared of her. Yeah.

[A]

And all of a sudden, she's coming out like a snapping turtle. So she's screaming her head off about not following her. And you're starting to figure out what she's saying?

[B]

Yeah. So now I'm starting to, like, my brain is calming down from all the things that are happening, and I'm like, okay. She thinks that I'm following her, and I'm like, I just wanted to go to the yard. So what do you mean? Like, I don't understand, Right? And so I'm trying to, like. I'm trying to actually cry.

[A]

Did you make tears?

[B]

Yeah, of course I did. And so I'm like, what do you mean? Well, so conveniently enough, this lady happens to be dressed for a job. Okay? She works. And she happens to be wearing a uniform. Kind of a uniform, but she happens to be wearing a name tag.

[A]

Wait, the lady? The lady? The old Maxine lady?

[B]

Yeah. So Maxine, okay, is wearing a name tag that says Maxine. Not really Maxine, but, you know, we're.

[A]

Gonna call her Maxine.

[B]

We're call her Maxine. So she's wearing this name tag, and I just happened to catch a glance of it, and I'm just like. She is just hollering at me. Well, my brain is trained to catch all the details. So no matter if I'm being screamed at or whatever's happening. I know, get the tag number, get the details, get the hair color, get the eye color, whatever. And so while all this is happening, I'm processing all of this, so she's hollering at me, and I'm like, okay, that was wild. And then she starts to walk away, so I'm like, okay, she told me not to follow her, and, hey, conveniently enough, I'm not following her. So it's fine.

[A]

Should be easy.

[B]

So she leaves, and she goes about her day, and I'm like, okay. I won't follow her. Then I get like, I wasn't. Nobody paid me to follow whatever. I mean, whatever, right? I'll make her feel better. She knows I'm not following her. So I continue to do surveillance on my lady, who is given this. No attention whatsoever. My lady is. She's within earshot, but she hasn't said anything. Like, she hasn't looked over nothing, right? Not that. As far as I know. So I just go back to videotaping my lady. So the lady does her yard sale in some more. She picks up equipment, she goes shopping. She spends hours to, like, 11, 12, 11am 12 noon, to, like, yard sale, okay? So she brings her treasures home. She's excited. She takes them all in the house. I think I've won. Okay, so Maxine, she yelled at me, but it's whatever. I still did surveillance on my lady. She didn't notice I didn't get busted. It's a great surveillance. This lady's probably not going to get eleven bazillion dollars because I. Whatever. So I'm proud of myself. She gets home, unloads her stuff. I go home and get on the. On the keyboard, and I'm typing away at my report, you know, just minding her business some more and sharing her business with my observant client and whatever. So then I'm like, what is going on with Maxine? And so now I'm concerned. Now that I can not, now that I don't have to be focused on homegirl anymore, I want to know what's going on with Maxine. So all of a sudden, this flood of memories comes back to me, and I'm like, maxine Blue Pants. But. And I start, like, I start re living, like, remembering every detail about her. So I remember her name, the company, and so I'm like, google machine.

[A]

Google machine.

[B]

Google machine, yes. And so I'm like, I wonder what her last name is. So I type in her first name and the name of the company. And of course, it was a little like, you had a little play with it a little bit. And there's like, a couple different places in the Tampa area. Anyways, I found her, okay? So I find this lady, and I'm like, this girl got some dirt. Like, she's old as hell, but she's got some dirt and we gonna find it. So me, I'm like, listen, when you're a P.I. like, the more answers you get, the more questions you get, right? And yes, you. Like, when something like that happens, you're like, dumpty dumb. Like, let me just see.

[A]

Well, I also think I'm curious. I know sometimes when you have a client that you would like to follow up with or like to know what happens after the fact, you can't do that. Yeah, no, I don't think it is. Because you could have easily just like met this person out of, out in public and be like, oh, what the heck is her deal? You know what I mean? Like, you're not doing anything illegal.

[B]

You're just on the Google machine to follow up with Maxine. Like, I didn't do nothing wrong. Like, I just wanted to see, like, you're researching. I was researching. This is for research. And I was concerned for her safety. Like, what if she's in a dangerous situation and I could save her life? You never know.

[A]

True.

[B]

And I'm just a girl, okay?

[A]

You're just a girl who likes to to snoop. Like we all do. And that's why we love all of.

[B]

You and we gotta look out for one another. She could have been in real danger.

[A]

Gossip saves lives.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

So anyways, I look Maxine up, right? I find her on the social media machine and I also find her little husband. We're gonna call him Magoo because he is this short, he, this fella, cute as a button. Just like the Magoo cartoon and the rounded bulb nose and the cute little glasses. Bald as can be. Cutest little thing you ever did see, right? So she's, you got Maxine and grumpy year old men and then you got Magoo who's cute as a button. So I find them on social media, okay? They are both like, y'all, I'm talking in their 80s, okay? Like they are older, like much older. And you would think like a lot of people that age don't have social media.

[A]

Yeah, good for them.

[B]

Yeah. And if they do, like, it's not like you just go there and it says they played Candy Crush, so and so played Candy Crush. It doesn't show like anything crazy. I mean now I guess it's a little bit more common. But anyways, I was, I was beyond shocked to see any kind of activity on their social media.

[A]

What kind of stuff?

[B]

Well, so here's the fun part. So I go to her social media machine and his social media machine and wouldn't you know it, both of their pages are totally public. Every single post, every single photo. Like photos. 47 profile photos and 2068 photos and videos. Like, and it's public. Don't mind if I do. So I helped myself, right? Because I'm like, what is going on with this lady? So she po. She makes a post, okay? Like this is like the next day she makes a post. And when I first looked her up that night, I was like, I could kind of see that she was, I was like this, she's got some stuff going on, like her and her man or whatever.

[A]

Wait, wait, what do you mean by that? Like, are they still married? Are they posting together?

[B]

Like they're married? Like this is her husband. Okay, okay. So the night I got home, when I was looking her up, I had had a long day of surveillance. So I kind of looked her up. I found her. I didn't mind too much about it. I kind of see that she makes posts or whatever, but didn't look too much into it. The next day I looked her up and by that time she had posted about the fact that her no good ass husband has used their retirement funds to hire a private investigator to have her followed. Because.

[A]

To see if she has a boyfriend.

[B]

Yeah, he want. Because he thinks that I have a boyfriend, blah, blah, blah. Well, he comments on her stuff and he's like, I didn't hire a private investigator. Meanwhile, you've got freaking 47 ladies from the YMCA Silver Sneakers class. And they're going, I can't believe you would do that at this. You've been together for so long. And I'm just making up voices. I don't know what they sound like, but I imagine that's exactly what they sound like. And all of them are just, they. I almost said gang banging. They are ganging up on these. These, like, these silver sneakers ladies are ganging up on Magoo and they're telling him how horrible he is. And you don't need to hire a PI if you. All these years that you've put in together, whatever, right? Well, then he makes a post on his social media machine and he talks about how Maxine has a boyfriend down at the Moose Lodge and she's been seeing him off and on for 10 years. And he knows it because he's caught them before, but she doesn't know that he's caught them. And they are just going on and on. So this is. This starts this whole big saga. This is public.

[A]

They are airing this dirty laundry for everyone.

[B]

And their friends are chiming in. This is like middle school, okay? This is like, it's better than middle school.

[A]

I, look, I kind of love it. Just like we're getting everyone involved and everyone's going to know. You want to try me? Great status.

[B]

Well, so then you've got their kids, and their kids are posting. Yeah, their kids are in like their 60s. Like, they've got families of their own, grandkids of their own, right? And they're saying, oh, here goes mom and dad again. Apparently this is like a big thing that happens all the time. And so anyways, of course I do a deep dive. Okay? Now I'm looking at the three children that they have and their spouses and their.

[A]

Tell me everything.

[B]

So. So one of the kids has had recently gotten divorced, right? And they're in their late 50s, had recently gotten divorced. And one of their posts said, when you don't have the best role models for parents on how a marriage should look, it's. It's likely that your marriage won't work out too. And I was like, oh, that's sad. But then like, well, that tracks too, right?

[A]

I'm still hung up on him or them posting that. Like, this is the most dramatic family I've ever heard.

[B]

And like, older people, generally speaking, like, don't even know how to work this social media machine, much less use it as. Like, you would think they were going through like a custody battle the way they were like, trying to go back down. And so then his friends come on and his military buddies and they're like, don't you like, say that? Like, you should have respect? Like, this is what you're saying.

[A]

And the Grant Magoo's.

[B]

Yeah, Magoo's. Magoo's war buddies are like, you should have respect for this veteran. And he's, he's a stand up guy. And on one of the posts he was like, she keeps saying, I hired a private investigator, but if I hired a private investigator, I wouldn't use my own money to do it. I'm almost dead. What am I gonna. Like, my kids are. I'm gonna leave the money to my kids. Why would I use. So meanwhile, she's going, but he did use our retirement to hire a PI. And I know how much PIs cost, by the way. A good PI is probably like a hundred to 200 an hour. Okay. Just depending on what you need and what's happening and where they have to go, whatever. So like 100 to 200 is kind of. It's pretty decent, right? Maybe a little less, depending on the situation. Whatever. But anyway, so PIs ain't. We ain't cheap, right? And so she's saying that he spent tens of thousands of dollars and she's going to divorce him and then she going to sue him. She gonna be dead before she sees a courtroom. Like, a judge ain't gone. What are you gonna do? Like, they're going to be like, just.

[A]

Unfriend each other on Facebook and that'll pretty much be the same thing.

[B]

Guys, why are they not. But at the same time, they live.

[A]

They don't want to block each other. They love us.

[B]

And so they're commenting on each other's stuff from like, the same house. Like, they live in the same freaking house.

[A]

I'm imagining them sitting on the same couch with like iPads. Just like, you know how you, like, text somebody across the room just like, maxine, I'm going to get you this time. Oh, wait till you see the gif I added. Like, they're gonna be crazy.

[B]

And Magoo is, he's telling his friends, like, thank you. Yeah, I'm a veteran. Like, and I get it. Like, you want to be respectful. And you know, the older veterans, they, they really want their respect, whatever. But he's going on about how she's A hussy. And that's what older people say. They don't call him a Hua or a Sloot or whatever. They call them a hussy both ways people. Okay? And she's a hussy for her Moose Lodge boyfriend who by the way is much younger than her. And the Moose Lodge boyfriend is just waiting for her to die because he wants to try and take her money. He's going to try and get her to stash money for him. And so apparently this guy's in his 70s and much too young for her. And so he is for certain that her moose lodged boyfriend is going to take her when they go to the casino together.

[A]

He said I take her for everything.

[B]

I know. They've gone to the casino together and she's given him all of her winnings and he is just taking her for a ride. And that's what happens when you get with a younger dude. He calls him a dude. That's what happens when you get with a younger dude. So imagine the biggest insult, 87 year old Magoo saying don't get with a younger dude. And that's what he said. And he's talking about Maxine. Well, Maxine and her little friends, they're all friends on Facebook. So they're keyboard warrior in. And so the, the silver, silver sneakers by the way, is like Zumba in chairs for like older people that might be their joints or they can't stand. So silver sneakers is like where you sit down in the chair and move your body and that's how you get.

[A]

Your aerobic and you have like little, little weights.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, you're getting your aerobics sitting down because as we get older our bones and our joints start to hurt more. And so that's a great way to exercise. So it's called silver sneakers. Right.

[A]

And to find a community of girls to have your back when you guys have a social media war.

[B]

They were so poor. These were girls, girls in their 90s, everything, they were girls, girls. And they were saying they were like, how dare he hire a private investigator? And why does he think that she has a boyfriend at the Moose? He's like, I've literally seen them like, but what am I going to do? But also I would like to point out that she did post pictures on her social media and she was getting dressed for silver sneakers but she wasn't wearing like, you know how older folks, they go to Belk or Belk Lindsay or they go to the Bill's outlet and they buy the pants with the matching top. And they buy the loafers or even the New Balance, the white dad. New balances. And that's what we wear.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

This lady, she had on the nicest, like, Nikes, and she was wearing, like, the leotards, like, like back in the 70s and 80s. Leotards.

[A]

I have a theory. I have a theory. Okay? The silver sneakers theory is maybe they're not going to silver sneakers. And maybe all of these women have secret boyfriends that they go see when they say they're going to silver sneakers. And they get all dressed up and they go to see their boyfriends, and then they're. When their husb. Husbands come, say they have a boyfriend, they all gang up on him and they say, how could you? We were at the YMCA the whole time, and we are just lovely little ladies.

[B]

It's like a. It's like a. An alibi gang. That's what we call those. Alibi. What, this is your gang of alibis? He even said to one of his. His wartime buddy, whatever, one of the guy's wife or ex wife had commented, and he, believe me, I did my research to find out who was who.

[A]

Okay?

[B]

The ex wife of one of the war buddies commented and. And the guy out by name and said that her ex husband and she said, you know, you did the same thing to me, and blah, blah, blah. So now you've got all these different couples talking about how you hired a PI on me and you hired. And how dare Magoo hire a PI On Maxine. And what a horrible man would do that. Like, after.

[A]

But also, what a horrible woman would do that to a veteran.

[B]

Like, it's going all over and they're attacking. Well, this goes on for days and days.

[A]

When did it begin? Like, when did they start these. This attack?

[B]

Okay, so the history of their social media is like, she'll post, like, one of the things was like, she posted a. Is it a gif or, like a meme or whatever? Talking about when your husband's lazy and he can't give you what you want, and then this guy's really sexy or whatever, just kind of like, oh, that's.

[A]

Not gonna bode well in court lady.

[B]

She's basically saying, look at this young guy. He's really hot. And like, when. When you wish your husband looked like this or just something that was like, it was a little below the bell, right? But yeah, she. She tags him and he's like, that's not nice, Maxine. Yeah, and she, like, this is you, Magoo. Ha ha, ha ha. Lol. Brb. Bff. Like, she's like, tagging and she thinks, skippity Riz.

[A]

Oh, my gosh.

[B]

And so she's. She thinks that she is hot bananas, right? Like, she is just hot dogs and Skittles. She is so proud of herself. And she just does the laughing emojis. Anyway, so. So their history of their social media is all stuff like that. We're like, little digs, Little digs. And her daughter had posted something about the granddaughter's baby shower. And so. So Maxine and Magoo's granddaughters great. Well, their great granddaughters baby shower.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

And so Maxine had commented something and tagged him and said, magoo, if we could go back, I would have never had babies with you. Like, little digs, little jabs.

[A]

That's actually an insane thing to say.

[B]

What do you do? They've been married for 500 years. Like, what are you going to do, divorce me? Like, what do you. Start over? Like, we're 100. Like, do you know? So what do you do?

[A]

There is something so amazing about that kind of like filterless part of life.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I feel like I've told you this story. I used to work at a production company and they would have auditions for commercials there. And there was one where they needed an old person. I think it was for, like, Tostitos. And it was a bunch of old people auditioning. And they were so funny in the lobby. They were like, reading it and just being like, who wrote this? This isn't funny at all.

[B]

This sucks.

[A]

And I was like, every other actor in LA is like, thank you so much for giving me the opportunity to read this beautiful script. And they're just like, ew, you deserve it, job. And they're amazing. And I'm like, I kind of want to get to that point where I could just not give a shit.

[B]

No.

[A]

But maybe not this far. These guys are wild.

[B]

And so she. So he. He is saying that he has seen her with this guy, but what's he gonna do? Divorce or, like, it's whatever do.

[A]

I haven't posted a picnic.

[B]

I'm surprised. But at the same time, they've got three kids together, like 19 grandchildren. Like, they're. You know what I mean? What are we gonna do? We want to start over. You really gonna date at 100? Like, what are you. What are you gonna do? And so anyways, write a blog. And they just go on and on. But then here's the kicker, is that every holiday photo, they're holding each other, they're smiling, they're kissing, they have videos of them going to different events. And the baby shower. All these different things where they're, like, together, they're holding hands. And this is Maxine and Magoo, who are basically like Mr. And Mrs. Smith, like, kicking each other's ass. And, like, nighttime at home and then out in public, they're like BFFs. It's wild.

[A]

So even in these attacks, it would be like, you are an ugly old man and I wish I had a younger husband. And then it would be like, Christmas card. And then.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[A]

You don't trust me and you're disrespectful, you hussy. And then baby shower. Like, that's just the cadence.

[B]

So then after. After she caught me following her. Yeah, right. Whatever. After she caught me not following her. Ever since then, everything that they said in their transactions, like in their communications or whatever, she would say, well, at least I'm not insecure enough to hire a PI. And he's like, why would I hire a PI? I already know. And I'm not leaving because I'm a zillion years old. Where am I gonna go? What? There's no point. Like, what, are we going to stand in front of a judge who's 70 years younger than us? Who's going to tell us? I. I mean, I guess split it down the middle. I don't know. What do you do? Like, we're already grandfathered in, literally and figuratively. Like, you know, there's. What are you gonna do?

[A]

That's funny.

[B]

What are you gonna do? One so wild. And so their. Their social media just goes on and on. And so for the next couple weeks, I just watched their social media. And you grab the popcorn, little by little, it tapered off. And, like, she stopped talking about the PI. The PI thing. And he just. And now they're back to, like, normal stuff and regular jabs here and there. This was years and years ago.

[A]

What if you had. I know you would never have done this, but what if you had just jumped in and was just like, hey, so just wanna add some evidence.

[B]

I just have so many questions.

[A]

I was the PI in question and I was not hired. So unfortunately, I have to take Magoo's side off this one.

[B]

Oh, my God, I would have loved that. So freaking.

[A]

I mean, I feel like Maxine would have come to your house and been like, you're.

[B]

Why are you.

[A]

You are the lady that punched me in the face.

[B]

100. And she would have used the word punch, too. It was very open fist. It was very open, like, And I was. I pushed her, but I came in contact pretty quick. But, I mean, she didn't not deserve it. How crazy.

[A]

Well, also, whose side are you on? Based on the evidence on Facebook, who do you think is telling the truth? Well, obviously he didn't hire poor Magoo.

[B]

I think Magoo is like, okay to. To be a little bit more serious about this. Magoo's getting verbally abused 100 by her. And it's all. I don't see nothing where he's instigating anything. It's all her. He never starts anything. He's not afraid to, like, say something back or something quippy or whatever, or he'll like, well, he married her.

[A]

Of course he knew they. They have to be on some level.

[B]

But this is a 100 verbally abusive. Like, unless they have some kind of agreement where, like, he likes this behavior or he likes this kind of. I don't know. But, Hannah, when I tell you I was fit to be tied when this lady was screaming at me, and then I went on her social media was like, she mean to every damn body.

[A]

Not to see a true bully.

[B]

She really is.

[A]

Some of the things you just described publicly or say them in private, even.

[B]

But also, I wonder, like, because as long as it goes back, which is just, I don't know, like seven or eight years, like, and then it just starts to fade off the social media. So I. They're still old at that point. Right. I really wonder if maybe she has not dementia, but something where, like, old age has set in and she's losing her marbles a little bit, maybe, or maybe he is or maybe some kind of personality, something has happened over age. Maybe. I don't know. It's just, you know, just a guess, like something that's a possibility. I guess.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But it makes me wonder because I have friends that have family members with dementia, and they can get a little mean. So I don't know any other diseases where you can get, like, mean or whatever. But I'm just saying there's a possibility that, you know, as you age, maybe something like that happens. And it makes me wonder if that's the case here.

[A]

Well, I also. The fact. My first instinct is like, well, there's seems like a lot of other people involved. Her kids, these friends. If she or either of them have gotten to a point where they're not taken seriously, then it could make sense where people are just like, oh, there goes crazy grandma. Type it on Facebook. Her theories. Yeah, I wonder if she. Does she also have a presence talking that way about other things, like political events. Like, some people on Facebook are just.

[B]

Like, yeah, it's all social.

[A]

It's all about him.

[B]

She's not like, all silver sneakers. And my girlfriends and my husband hired a piano.

[A]

My deadbeat husband.

[B]

And. But also when the kids. When the one kid had gotten divorced, and they said, when you have a bad. Like, when you have a bad example of what a marriage should be, that makes me think it goes back a little further. So I wonder how far back does this verbal abuse. I'm going to say that lightly, loosely, because I don't know. How far does this bullying go back?

[A]

I bet they were at their wedding and during the vow, she was like, I guess, like, she doesn't seem like she was ever a kind lady. If she came yelling at you, yelling at him. We don't know. I, I, I'm. Who knows? We could be way off.

[B]

But it's. And also, I want to point out that it's interesting that I was doing surveillance on a woman who had no. I. Nobody knew I was. There was no nobody. Not one single person gave me a sideways glance. Nobody noticed. Why did this one person, like. And then I just kept playing it back in my head. Like, how did she notice that I would. I was getting out of the car. I was walking at the yard sales. Like, I'm looking too. Like, I'm blending in.

[A]

She had her head on a swivel.

[B]

She did. She did.

[A]

She did what you say to do. She. It was like, no one is gonna mess with me on Facebook or otherwise. And I don't.

[B]

But it makes me wonder also if, like, I don't know, maybe she was cheating, and that's why she was super extra cautious. Because when you're doing something wrong, chances are you're looking behind your shoulder. You're looking over your shoulder.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

When you're not doing anything wrong, you're not as vigilant to post about it.

[A]

And to get ahead of it and deny it sometimes is like, all right. Nobody was like, nobody posted. You posted about it first. He didn't post about it. I want to know. I want to go through her following. For all the young men, this is.

[B]

Not the first time that I've been on a surveillance where a whole nother story has come out of it. That's none of my damn business. But it's also my business.

[A]

It's my favorite thing in the world.

[B]

What do you do? Am I supposed to just not know? No. Are you supposed to say no, Mackenzie?

[A]

I would consider it a Personal offense if you did not continue.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

That's what I said. I needed to know about this. And also, I'm, like, so scared about their access to social media. What else are they going to air out? I wouldn't be. If I was friends with someone like that, I wouldn't tell. I wouldn't know what to tell them, but I would not unfriend them. Oh, my God, I'd be refreshing that page every day.

[B]

But, like, also, it makes me wonder, like, I don't, like, if the. If this. Just imagine if I had been following her and she was my subject.

[A]

Huh? Oh, yeah. What would you have done?

[B]

What a huge liability that would have been. Like, if Magoo hires me to follow her and she approaches me. If someone approaches you, like, they know that you're following them and they approach you at that time, the surveillance is done. You're done. That's it. Because if you continue on, that could be considered harassment. So the ethical thing to do and the safer thing to DO is to 86 the surveillance. It's done. Like, not throw it all out, but stop right there. We're done with the surveillance, right?

[A]

Can you share if there's ever been a time where you've had to, like, respond to somebody who catches you? Like, if you've been in a position where someone says, hey, you're following me, and you are, like, what do you say? Do you lie? Do you. Yeah. Okay, so, no, I'm not ill. And then you just leave. Okay, so you're not, like, you got well, so.

[B]

Okay. Do you know how we use the term darvo when it comes to dogfish?

[A]

Yes. Will you remind the people what that is?

[B]

Yeah. So darvo is a term that we use to express, explain, like, it's a manipulative tactic. Right. So the attacker or the perpetrator, they deny they did anything wrong. They attack and reverse the victim and offender. So they want to become the victim themselves. So I use a little bit of darvo. If someone says, hey, are you following me? And they approach me, I'm like, oh, my God, no. Why would you think that, weirdo? You're so gross.

[A]

Get away from me. Like, why would you come up and say that to me?

[B]

Yeah, that is so weird. Do I look like I'm following you?

[A]

Oh, my God. God, please.

[B]

You're scaring me. And you manipulate it, like, you make yourself the victim. And that's obviously, it's. It's like, it's not as scary as darvo. Like, in real. For real.

[A]

License to do it. And it's for the greater good.

[B]

I just have to, like, I have to. Did I, Did I? Did I. So I'll be like, no, no, I wasn't weird.

[A]

Plus, your safety is so on the line. If you get caught, like, somebody could freak out at you.

[B]

Well, also, if it's a guy and he's like, are you following me? I'll be like, I don't know. Did you want me to?

[A]

And.

[B]

Or, like, I will flirt my ass off any guy. I do not care how old you are. How what? I do not. I mean, obviously age or whatever, but if you ask me, am I following you? I'm gonna be like, I mean, I can't be a problem. I can be if you want.

[A]

Oh, and there's not a single.

[B]

And then. And then I'll pretend. And then when he looks at me funny, I'll be like, oh, that was. That's. That was a pickup line, right? Oh, my God, I'm so bad at this. I'm so sorry. And then just like, be like, I.

[A]

Thought you were flustered because you're so handsome.

[B]

Yeah, Exactly. No, exactly. 100. But if it's a woman, I'm. She might be like, are you following me? And I'll be like, oh, my gosh, were you just at Walmart? And now we're at Target. Oh, my gosh, you're following me. No way.

[A]

Wait, I've literally said that to people. When, like, you walk the same direction, it's like, how are you following me?

[B]

Like, yeah, and it's. It's the. More you're like. So oftentimes, I. Obviously, it depends on the situation. Like, but if I have to, I'll just be like, no, silly, come on. But it does happen, and you just gotta. You gotta do what is right in the moment. Like, you gotta follow your gut in the moment. And sometimes it does require you to lie. But also, if you say yes, like, that could endanger you. So you kind of gotta just.

[A]

No, you're like a badass secret agent, basically. Like, you're. Yeah. A super spy, and it's for the greater good, as I said. I mean, I'm glad that the case with the woman who you were supposed to be following seemed to be pretty easy.

[B]

That one was good.

[A]

And you got some entertainment out of it. I do hope that these. This couple maybe finds a more mature way to navigate their relationship.

[B]

They are dying in the next little while. Give them whatever the fuck they want to do.

[A]

Well, she's got to stop saying such horrible things. To him and getting her girls. That was horrible. Also, to say that on the baby shower post, to be like, I wish I never had kids with you is, like, actually a very layered insult, because it also implies that she wishes that, like, her kids didn't come. Her grandkids.

[B]

But none of them replied awkwardly. Like, they were all like, oh, gosh, Grandma. Oh, gosh, Aunt Maxine. Like, it was not new to any of them. They were like, oh, this. This tracks. That's Aunt Maxine.

[A]

That's a humor.

[B]

Like, that's. That's just Aunt Maxine.

[A]

How much money would you pay to get to go to their Thanksgiving dinner?

[B]

Oh, my God, all of it. I would want to go. Like, I would just want to sit in the middle, and I don't. You don't even have to feed me. And I just want to look back and forth like a tennis match. That's all I want to do.

[A]

Oh, my. Or just, like, say nothing until somehow you can just be like, well, I saw they said this on Facebook. And then just walk away.

[B]

Stir the pot. And what do you. I know so many people like that who will just, like, say the thing and then walk away and then just watch it. And it's hilarious. It is so awful. Oh, my God.

[A]

Gosh, that was such good drama, girl. I need to know if anyone knows a Maxine or Magoo who's, like, a Facebook diary writer. Like, I want to know. So you've probably heard this concept of theory. I don't think it applies to, like, an influencer like yourself, because you're posting all the time. But if somebody's not somebody that posts all the time, and then they post something, like, really gushy and lovey about their relationship, sometimes people will be like, something's not going right.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Rocky. Which is definitely not always true. But I've heard that theory. But then this is kind of the opposite, where they're just like, no, we're just going to be honest. I'm just going to tell you everything and more. In fact, I'll tell you things that I haven't even told the man sitting across the room from me. And I don't know. I just want to hear more drama of people that are airing out dirty laundry on social media that they probably should not post publicly.

[B]

Yeah. And I'm sorry, but anytime someone's stuff is public on social media, like, don't my. I will go so deep down the damn rabbit hole, it is unreal. I am relentless. That's why people are like, how did you find them on Google. I didn't find them. I'm like, because. That's because you went to page 17. I went to page 794.

[A]

You had her workplace. I feel like you can go to LinkedIn, find the company, go through, like, page nine.

[B]

I wouldn't have been able to find her with a regular name and just like. But she had her first name and her workplace, and there was only a couple of places. So, I mean, you just. A process of elimination. Where was she located and where's her tag? And then you start, and you can. I mean, it didn't take a rock.

[A]

It's so good.

[B]

It did take some effort, though. I spent way too much time trying to find her just to find out why she was yelling at me.

[A]

Wait, I have someone for you. Okay, so my friend has a crush on a girl who works Trader Joe's. 1. Two things we need to find out. One, she's like, I don't know if she's gay, so I kind of need to find out that.

[B]

First of all, that's not on a background report.

[A]

Well, you never know. If you find an Instagram, you'll probably be able to tell.

[B]

No, that's true.

[A]

And two, she's like, all I know is her first name, and she works at Trader Joe's. So I did this. I went on LinkedIn. I was like, I'm gonna find this girl. You're gonna. This is your future wife. We're gonna do it. I didn't succeed. I couldn't find her. But maybe this was a couple months ago. It's probably past the point, but maybe, maybe. No, we shouldn't stalk her. It's talking, but, like, if my friend needs to go to Trader Joe's, there's nothing wrong with that.

[B]

We would never do something like that because that is illegal investigation.

[A]

No, but I will say on my friend's behalf, they just have a hopeless crush. And I'm like, just talk to her when you're ringing up your freaking kombucha girl. And she can't wait.

[B]

She know. Wait, the. Wait, they know which one she works at?

[A]

Yeah, we'll talk about it.

[B]

Oh, yeah, we. We're gonna need more.

[A]

We'll make love happen here.

[B]

We would love to hear any story. I need to hear if any of you guys have experienced this. Like, it is just. I want to know how the highest.

[A]

Rate of STI is in Boca Raton in the old folks spot.

[B]

That's Ocala, Florida, y'all.

[A]

Congratulations.

[B]

Capital of the world here in greater locala. Florida. Those folks. Them. Those folks are 80, 90 years old. They swing in left and right, and they're, boy, over there in the Ocala, if you know the villages, you know what I'm talking about. Can I get an amen? Y'all know Amen.

[A]

There's a great documentary called Let me look this up, because it's worth telling you guys, because it's a documentary about it, but it's not like some kind of heaven. It's not like a boring documentary. He, like, follows real people that are living in the villages, and it's like, one guy that, like, lives in a van, but he hooks up with different women to try to get to live with them. There's, like, all these characters, like, and her husband move in, and all of a sudden, he just, like, starts doing a ton of psychedelic drugs, and she's like, he's never done drugs in his life. All of a sudden, he's, like, a drug addict. What do I do with this? And he's just like, I just want to, like, trip on the golf course, honey. Like, stop ruining my vibe. It is the craziest documentary, and it's so good. I think it's on Hulu. You guys go watch Some Kind of Heaven. It's very funny. And you'll be like, yep, yep.

[B]

I cannot tell you how many surveillances I have done in the villages. And if you know what the village is, it is. Then you know what I'm talking about. You can be like, oh, girl, you got some stories in there. Because, yes, I do, boo boo.

[A]

And if you live in the villages and you have tea, spill.

[B]

Spill it. Because, you know, if you live in the villages, you got some pipe and hot tea. I know it. Anyway, so make sure you share your stories with us, too. If you need a platform or an ear or an outlet for your story or you need the community, email us.

[A]

Your story Investigate app. The Dating Detectives podcast dot com. We just want to make sure we can hear as many different kinds of stories so that we can support many different types of people. And it's, like, been so. I mean, not to. This was so good. I needed this story so bad. But to go back to Carrie and some of the past stories, it's like your support for them is really, really special.

[B]

We love you guys. And even though this was a funny story, kind of a sillier one, you always have to trust your FEM tuition.

[A]

Trust your FEM tuition. You said it already. Bye, guys.