Podcast Summary: The Dating Detectives – "The Demonic Dogfish"

Date: September 1, 2025
Hosts: Mackenzie Fultz and Hanna Anderson
Guest: Stella

Overview

This episode of "The Dating Detectives," titled "The Demonic Dogfish," features the gripping and harrowing story of Stella, who recounts her tumultuous and abusive relationship with “Damon”—a man deeply invested in demonology, manipulation, and ultimately, revenge porn. Through Stella’s story, the hosts explore themes of spiritual and emotional manipulation, the dangers of love bombing and controlling behavior, and the systemic challenges victims face in seeking justice. The episode also addresses broader issues around consent, technological abuse, inadequacies in reporting revenge porn, and community support for survivors.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Trigger Warnings & Introduction

• Trigger Warnings: Spiritual/demonic themes, physical violence, sexual consent violations, and revenge porn.
• [00:59] A: “We have a demonic dogfish. There’s some satanic stuff… definite mention of physical violence and revenge porn. And in the dogfish debrief… we’re definitely going to do a more in-depth conversation about revenge porn.”

2. Stella’s Story: The Relationship Begins

• Initial Encounter: Stella met Damon on a dating app and, despite “femtuition” (female intuition), was drawn into a relationship after a chance encounter at a bar.
• Damon’s Persona: Described as a “demonologist” practicing black magic, Damon’s intense beliefs and altar at home were both off-putting and strangely intriguing for Stella, who has a Buddhist background and open interest in alternative spirituality.
• The Love Bombing: Damon started with grand romantic gestures, bringing roses every time, love bombing, future faking, and presenting himself as protective and gentlemanly.
  • [08:58] C: “Hardcore, like, was just like, you're perfect,” which at first was confusing for Stella—was it passion or manipulation?
  • [10:24] C: “He just was really intense on gender roles... [but] in a way that didn’t seem toxic at first. And then I realized it was toxic.”

3. Escalating Red Flags and Control

• Open Relationship: They agreed not to be monogamous, but Damon became controlling about even Stella’s platonic interactions.
• Location Sharing: Early request to share live locations, cited as “safety,” but actually about control.
  • [20:06] B/C: "He wanted to start sharing our locations… our whole relationship only lasted not even two months. So everything… was in a one to two month period.”
• Possessiveness and Intimidation:
  • [26:51] C: “He’s like, How dare you talk to a young stud in front of me and not introduce me… If someone is going to be important enough to interrupt me… I need to know who this person is. If any...”
  • Damon’s reactions involve public outbursts, physical aggression (grabbing bag), and online shaming (Tumblr posts with Stella’s photo and rants).

4. Manipulation, Gaslighting, and Abuse

• Physical and Emotional Manipulation: Damon would use his racial identity and traumatic history as shields/excuses for abusive actions, and gaslight Stella about her independence and personal boundaries.
• Love Bombing and Withdrawal Cycle: He uses cycles of intense affection followed by arguments and threats.
• Physical Abuse: Ultimately grabs Stella by the throat in anger, her breaking point.
  • [57:41] C: “He grabs me by the throat super hard... you fucking look at me. And I pushed him off of me... that's abuse. Like, how do you not see that as abuse?”

5. The ‘Demonology’ and Spiritual Manipulation

• Damon’s beliefs used as intimidation—claims to summon demons, perform blood rituals (including sex during menstruation), and lay curses.
  • [14:28] C: “if we have sex on your period, I see that as a blood ritual... I'm using your blood as an energy sacrifice...”
  • [46:17] B/C: He would attempt “meditations” that invoked his demons, purportedly for the relationship.
• The effect was to make Stella question her safety—both physical and metaphysical.

6. Major Incidents: Car Accident & Aftermath

• Final Destination Night: Stella and Damon see the movie, and on the way home, get in a major car accident with Damon (unlicensed) driving Stella’s car. She is physically injured, traumatized, and left with ongoing pain.
  • [50:09] C: “We get in a horrific car accident and my car gets totaled... I'm still injured, like, my back... I'm in everyday pain still.”
• End of Relationship: Stella finally ends things, but is met with retaliatory cash requests, further manipulation attempts, and the threat of continued presence (loitering near her work).

7. Revelation of Revenge Porn

• Anonymous Tip: Stella gets a burner IG message stating her videos are online.
  • [60:24] C: “There are porn videos of you online.”
• Betrayal: Turns out Damon posted explicit videos and audio recordings of Stella and other women on FetLife, some of which were recorded and uploaded without consent or knowledge, including from other apparent non-consenting partners.
  • [65:19] C: “There are so many videos and pictures of me with my face... and he didn’t post any of these after we broke up. He had been posting it our whole relationship.”
  • [65:29] C: “Posted audio recordings... which I really do not think they knew... in my state is a felony.”
• Reporting Obstacles:
  • FetLife only removes content with direct evidence of non-consent, not the entire account.
  • Police showed little sympathy, suggested “emailing” Damon, revealed little understanding of the gravity of the offense.
  • Legal process daunting; lawyers and prosecutors indicate maximum punishment is a misdemeanor and likelihood of public shaming, making legal recourse unattractive.

8. Systemic Issues & Survivor Struggles

• Legal Gaps: Revenge porn often not prosecuted aggressively; courts often re-victimize survivors. Maximum punishment is usually a misdemeanor.
• Barriers to Justice:
  • Fear of retaliation, including physical harm and further humiliation in court.
  • [74:52] C: “I haven't had any clients murdered yet. But you have a high risk of being murdered over this.”
  • Survivor faces an uphill battle with little support, often is forced to weigh further trauma against chances of justice.
• Website Responsibility:
  • FetLife and similar forums have little effective verification, leading to rampant non-consensual content.
  • “Double verification” praised on OnlyFans as a best practice.
  • [82:23] C: “These sites' responsibility to double verify... OnlyFans does... It's really problematic and creepy that they do not verify those things…”

9. Healing and Community Support

• Friendship as Lifeline: Stella’s friends help gather evidence, provide emotional support, and validate her experiences.
  • [99:07] B: “The best way to support [someone] is just to let them know I'm here... keep open a line of communication.”
• Host’s Reflection:
  • Acknowledgment that escaping abusive situations is harder than it seems; love, trauma, and manipulation blur boundaries.
  • Recognition that legal and social systems are failing survivors—justice comes at a high personal cost.

10. Advocacy and Reform

• Policy Changes Needed:
  • Tougher penalties for non-consensual sharing of intimate images; should be classified as a sex offense.
  • Mandatory verification on adult websites for all content.
  • Increased resources and procedural reform to support victims in courts.
  • [80:08] C: “I think people who do this do need to have sexual offender charges. A misdemeanor is bullshit.”
• Host Encouragement:
  • Open call for audience feedback, story sharing, supporting one another, and advocating for change.
  • [110:49] A: “You deserve to be heard.”

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

On Intuition and Manipulation

• [12:10] B (on anxiety cues): “Like, screaming at you. That's incredible. Wow.”
• [54:43] A: “To beg for you back through asking for money on cash app is crazy.”

On Digital Sexual Assault / Revenge Porn

• [67:53] C: “It's the power taken from me in that choice… I want the mistakes I make in life to be my mistakes. I don't want a man to make mistakes for me with my face.”
• [80:08] C: “I think people who do this do need to have sexual offender charges. A misdemeanor is bullshit. That is not enough.”

On Broken Justice System

• [75:03] A: “Your goal is to get... Your primary goal is to get the stuff taken down.”
• [76:34] B: “I literally hate everyone.”

On Support & Survivor Blame

• [98:48] B: “You're never gonna do anything that you're not ready to do. But I love that she still... told her friends.”
• [100:43] A: “It doesn't have to be physical.”

Spiritual Coercion

• [46:17] C: “…He would sometimes try and summon his demons to come... assist me with things. And that made me nervous.”
• [96:36] A: “That’s a manipulation. That’s a religious or spiritual whatever, manipulation. I don’t like it.”

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Trigger Warnings & Introduction: 00:42–01:28
• Stella’s Story Begins: 04:27–07:54
• Red Flags and Control: 08:55–12:32
• Supernatural & Spiritual Coercion: 14:28, 46:17–48:22
• First Major Outburst & Public Shaming: 26:51–32:36
• Physical Violence: 57:41–58:42
• Car Accident Incident: 49:08–52:04
• Revenge Porn Revealed: 60:24–67:45
• Police & Legal System Failure: 70:45–79:57
• Host Debrief & Systemic Reflection: 95:03–111:55

Final Thoughts and Calls to Action

• The Cost of Survival: The immense emotional, psychological, and legal weight Stella bears demonstrates how much “work” is demanded of victims, and how little is asked of abusers by current justice systems and social structures.
• Community Support Remains Key: Whether or not legal justice is served, friends, allies, and platforms like this podcast play a crucial role in validation, healing, and advocacy.
• Advocacy for Systemic Change: Listeners are encouraged to continue pushing for changes in both law and online platforms to demand real protection and justice for survivors.

If you or someone you know is dealing with relationship abuse or digital abuse, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233.

How to Share Your Story or Find Support

• Email the podcast: investigate@thedatingdetectivespodcast.com
• For community, support, or exclusive content, join their Patreon ($5/month or $9/month "Girlfriend Experience" for ad-free episodes and more).
• Leave kind words for Stella via comments (they'll be passed along).

This summary does not include ad reads and is focused solely on the substantial content of the episode.