The Hero's Secret Life: Part 1

Summary

---

Podcast Summary: The Dating Detectives – "The Hero's Secret Life: Part 1"

Release Date: June 1, 2026
Host: Dear Media (Mackenzie Fultz & Hanna Anderson)
Guest: Emma (anonymized for privacy)

---

Episode Overview

In this gripping first installment of a two-part story, private investigator Mackenzie Fultz and comedian Hanna Anderson delve into the seemingly heroic life—and dark undercurrents—of Emma’s ex-boyfriend, "Adam." Emma’s narrative illustrates how even outwardly admirable, respected individuals can lead double lives, and the emotional maze that partners must navigate as suspicions and red flags begin to emerge. The episode explores themes of addiction, trust, manipulation, and the complexity of confronting truth within loving relationships.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Background: Emma and Adam’s Connection

[02:33 – 05:00]

• Emma reconnects with Adam, a childhood family friend, during a FEMA deployment for Hurricane Harvey after 15 years of no contact.
• Emma worked in technical large animal rescue; Adam was in urban search and rescue (dealing with collapsed structures).
• Childhood memories set a foundation of trust; Adam was always supportive and charming, helping Emma in a traditionally elite sport.

2. Adam's Addiction and Efforts at Recovery

[05:22 – 09:56]

• Emma learns Adam is just out of a divorce and has been mandated to rehab for alcoholism—his first step to confronting addiction.
• Emma withholds judgment, watching for sustained progress before agreeing to date him.

Quote:
"He had to go to alcohol anonymous meetings three times a day...he was really committed to getting himself healthy in all respects...and that was really impressive." — Emma [06:00]

3. Past Relationships and Trauma

[10:16 – 12:02]

• Emma shares her experience with a previous boyfriend with a top secret NSA clearance, whose unpredictable rage pushed her to leave covertly.
• Adam assists her in moving out quickly, strengthening their bond and deepening trust.

4. Transition to Romance

[13:04 – 15:17]

• Relationship progresses organically as Adam consistently supports Emma, winning the affection of her work community and clients.
• Adam is attentive, routinely bringing her and her students coffee and treats, integrating himself into Emma’s social sphere.

5. Adam’s History of Substance Abuse

[16:21 – 18:36]

• Adam reveals his first marriage and deeper struggles with addiction—both he and his ex-wife were paramedics with access to drugs.
• Emma discovers Adam's issues extended beyond alcohol to other substances, but hopes for lasting change after repeated failures.

6. Recognizing 'Trickle Truth' and Pathological Lying

[18:47 – 21:07]

• Emma notices Adam's habit of “trickle-truthing”—gradual revelations of past mistakes—and frequent, minor lies.
• This becomes a persistent red flag, but Emma rationalizes it away, convinced she can detect important deceptions due to his poor lying skills.

Quote:
"But it was about that point that I realized he was trickle truthing me. And I had also figured out that he was kind of a pathological liar. But it was always about stupid, unimportant things." — Emma [18:47]

7. Age Difference and Power Dynamics

[21:26 – 22:12]

• Emma, in her early 20s, is 11 years younger than Adam, something both hosts note as potentially significant for control and insecurities.
• Emma reflects on her conflict-avoidance and lack of confidence, setting the stage for later boundary issues.

8. Hero Moments and Public Persona

[25:06 – 28:38]

• Adam surprises Emma with a lavish Disneyland trip, where he saves an elderly woman from collapse, further cementing his hero image.
• Adam is widely respected—taking Emma to cultural events, being generous to charities, beloved by coworkers and the community.

Quote:
"He was always just dropping things to rescue people that didn't even realize they were in need of rescue...it was uncanny." — Emma [28:15]

9. Sobriety Setbacks and Emma’s Support

[30:12 – 33:26]

• After Adam's psychiatrist—his maternal figure—dies, he relapses; Emma discovers this by finding empty bottles.
• Adam escalates AA meetings to five times a day and Emma, empathizing with the non-linear path of recovery, rationalizes the slip.

10. Emma’s Injury & Adam’s Role as Caregiver

[33:26 – 42:23]

• Emma suffers a severe horse-related injury; Adam manages her medications and takes a leadership role during medical emergencies.
• They travel to Hawaii together, with Adam continuing to manage Emma’s pain prescriptions—at first, seemingly responsibly.

11. First Signs of Medication Issues

[42:38 – 47:08]

• On the Hawaii trip, Emma finds her pain meds (securely locked away) are disappearing. Adam blames hotel staff.
• She doesn’t suspect him since her prescriptions aren’t “his type of drug” and he has access to far stronger substances at work.

12. Joint Finances & Shifts in Responsibility

[47:08 – 52:00]

• Adam and Emma open a joint bank account; after a while, Adam stops contributing while she continues funding all bills.
• Adam quits attending AA due to the new commute; Emma remains supportive as he proposes and she says yes, feeling they’ve overcome all obstacles.

13. Building a Life Together: Dogs and Daily Life

[53:17 – 57:28]

• Emma rescues a neglected puppy; Adam soon gets his own dog for search and rescue training.
• The couple seems idyllic, with both dogs becoming integral to their lives.

14. The Signs of Drug Use Emerge

[57:28 – 61:06]

• Adam exhibits odd behavior at restaurants—loopy, unfocused, eyes going in different directions—which increases in frequency.
• Emma is confused, Adam deflects, and because he’s on anti-alcohol drugs (which would make him violently ill if he drank), Emma is bewildered by the symptoms.

Quote:
"I'm clocking all of these changes. And I'm nervous, but I'm willing to think, okay, maybe he is just really tired because we got home and he went to bed and just passed out. And then the next day he was totally fine." — Emma [59:35]

15. Prescription Discrepancies and Pharmacy Conflicts

[62:32 – 70:29]

• Emma’s controlled medications begin to consistently run out early; both she and her doctors initially suspect the pharmacy.
• She confronts pharmacy staff (some of whom become hostile), counts out pills at the counter, and eventually confirms prescriptions have been shorted.
• The pharmacy tech who ended up in federal prison is later found to be stealing drugs from many patients.

Quote:
"Good for you for counting them. Oh, my gosh." — Host 2 [70:23]

16. Perfect Alibi and Lingering Doubts

[70:59 – End]

• The discovery of pharmacy theft seems to exonerate Adam—providing a “perfect excuse”—but Emma now hints at another, simultaneous thief.
• Part one ends with the realization that “two things can be true”—more will be revealed in part two.

Quote:
"I didn't realize that at the time, but it was the perfect excuse for him because it totally exonerated him...But they clicked into the wrong place because not only was the pharmacy taking, but someone else was too. Two things can be true, and I would find that out later." — Emma [70:59]

---

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• "[He] was always super kind hearted and extremely intellig...He was very charming. He knew how to turn the charm on." — Emma [05:22]
• "I slowly started to let him in and that was that." — Emma [15:21]
• "It was about that point that I realized he was trickle truthing me...he was kind of a pathological liar." — Emma [18:47]
• "I am extremely conflict adverse...I just call myself a gregarious introvert now." — Emma [20:57]
• "He's one of the most decorated paramedic firefighters in our state...Everybody loved him. No one ever said anything bad about him because I don't think they knew any of the things that I knew." — Emma [37:11]
• "He's handling much stronger medications. There's no fucking way. This guy is a paramedic." — Emma [63:29]
• "It was the perfect excuse for him because it totally exonerated him...not only was the pharmacy taking, but someone else was, too." — Emma [70:59]

---

Important Segments & Timestamps

• Emma’s reintroduction to Adam & FEMA work: [02:33 – 05:07]
• Adam’s addiction, rehab, and Emma’s skepticism: [05:22 – 09:56]
• Previous relationship and harrowing escape: [10:16 – 12:02]
• Adam’s heroics at Disneyland: [25:06 – 28:38]
• Injury, caregiving, & medication management: [33:26 – 42:23]
• First missing painkillers in Hawaii: [42:38 – 47:08]
• Odd behavior emerges (eyes unfocused, loopy): [57:28 – 61:06]
• Pharmacy shorting, confrontation, and outcome: [62:32 – 70:29]
• Part One cliffhanger, Adam’s perfect alibi: [70:59 – End]

---

Episode Tone & Style

The conversation is candid, deeply personal, and unfolds with both empathy and gentle humor. Emma’s storytelling is self-aware and insightful, marked by vulnerability and a desire to help others spot red flags. The co-hosts provide supportive commentary, interjecting with humor and curiosity, maintaining a safe, nonjudgmental atmosphere.

---

Conclusion

In the first part of her story, Emma explores the reality that the people we idealize—even those who save lives—can harbor their own damaging secrets. Despite Adam’s public heroism and exemplary reputation, troubling patterns and a labyrinth of denial, deception, and enabling unfold beneath the surface. A pharmacy scandal almost perfectly shields Adam at a critical moment, leaving Emma and listeners grappling with unresolved questions and the nature of truth in relationships.

Next Episode:
Part 2 will confront the aftermath of Emma’s findings, reveal more layers to Adam’s “secret life,” and discuss the impact of these discoveries on Emma’s healing and perspective.

---

Transcript

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

The following program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-777, 233 for support.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Happy dating, detectives. Monday, it's a national holiday. I'm trying to make my voice as high as MacKenzie's is when she says that, but I don't think I succeeded.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

It's just me right now. MacKenzie's in this episode, but we are currently at Crimecon in Las Vegas. I'm sitting on the floor of a hotel room recording this intro and we spent all day yesterday and today at Crimecon.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

If you were there, you know, we were obsessed with seeing you and meeting you and I I really thought about

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

how everybody we met was so nice. Not even just a little nice. It was like the best people ever. So I think that says a lot and I am so grateful. So thank you for coming. MacKenzie's in her hotel room. We had to record this quick intro. It's a two parter. It's a lot. Her name is Emma. She is so sweet. There is definitely some stuff that comes up in here.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

There is some drug addiction, there is

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

some violence and there is some severe animal abuse. It is part two.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

But I just wanted to let you go ahead of time so we will get into it.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

Just a reminder that we have some live shows coming up.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

We're going to be in Chicago in

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

July and then we're going to be at in Orlando and Tampa in August. The dates and and the links to buy tickets are in the show notes so you can sign up and come meet us and we'll have more merch. We had merch at Crimecon and we

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

didn't know what merch people would like

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

or not like and we sold so much of it.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

So we'll make more.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

Anyway, we love you guys. I'm kind of like a little dulu

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

after two days of talking to people.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

But it was, I mean, what a blessing to be dulu for this reason. Let's get into it. I think it's time to hand it over to Emma.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Hi, Emma, we're so glad you're here. Will you please take the floor and take us away on your journey?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Certainly. Well, I met Adam. When I was a kid, he was a family friend and I think he was about 11 years older than me, so there was a bit of an age difference, but. But my aunt was good friends with his mother and they were both in the horse industry, so she would end up bringing him to the barn every day. And we were good friends. And that was pretty much all it was for a long time. And then we lost contact for maybe 15 years after that. I think he graduated high school and I was still in grade school.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Would be kind of weird if you stayed in contact.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah, it would have been. When we kind of parted ways, I knew he was going to school to become a paramedic, and then that's when we lost contact. So that was the last I had heard from him. And I'd say in my mid-20s, I kind of got this weird job where I was a horse trainer for a city. They put me through a training course to learn how to do what's called technical large animal rescue. So we learn how to rescue any large animal, from anything bigger than a goat to camels, to giraffes, out of emergency situations like hurricanes or earthquakes or fires. So I started doing this technical large animal rescue work. And I met him actually during Hurricane Harvey. That was my first big deployment for fema. And we just got thrown together on the same team and realized that we knew each other, so we reconnected that way and he did what's called urban search and rescue, which is a little bit different. He specialized in rescuing people from concrete structures that have collapsed on them.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh, wow. Oh, okay.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So he'd have to crawl into tight spaces in dangerous situations. And yeah, I was one of the highest trained large animal rescue technicians. So I would be sent out with a team and I would have to tell everyone on the team how to stay safe and not get killed trying to airlift a giraffe or something.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

What an interesting job.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh, my gosh, that's so cool.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

It's amazing. It's also interesting as a place in a setting to meet someone because you're both heroes. I can't imagine you being anything other than wonderful. Why? Why is he bad? I don't want him.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

I know. Well, he was an amazing, amazing guy. He was always super kind hearted and extremely intellig. He was supportive even as a kid. Like at the barn, he would help me do my barn chores. Because I wasn't born into an affluent family, I had to work my way through the very expensive horse industry. And he did as much as he could. To help me work off my lessons and my work. So even as a kid, he was just wonderful. He was very charming. He knew how to turn the charm on. And when we got back home, we stayed in touch. And he had just gotten out of a divorce, so I knew about that. And I also knew that he was currently going through rehab and, oh, he said he had an alcohol problem and so he was going through a work in force, 30 day rehab program. Oh, I didn't ask for much detail because I didn't want to pry, but I can only imagine he was probably showing up drunk and as a paramedic, that's serious. I shouldn't be drunk. Yeah, but unions, especially for firefighters and cops and paramedics, they really go to bat for them. And they did that for him and they negotiated this rehab stint to keep his job. So he kind of disappeared for four to six weeks after he got back to go through rehab. And then when he got out, he was extremely dedicated to working all of the steps. He had to go to alcohol anonymous meetings three times a day. So morning and then at lunch and then in the evenings. And he started working out and running, which I wouldn't call him an athletic guy, but he was really committed to getting himself healthy in all respects, mentally, physically, psychologically. And that was really impressive. We all make mistakes and I am a very forgiving person by nature, which can be good and bad. And so I was willing to overlook what his little hang ups might have been and just move past them.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

So, I mean, everybody makes mistakes. Everybody comes into relationships with baggage. I am curious, like how he presented himself to you. You guys were just friends at this point. He's just telling you a little about his life or what is the nature of your relationship? And is he like my dumb ex wife over here or is he really. Oh, yeah, that's cool about everything.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

No, he had nothing negative to say about her. To his credit, he didn't blame her for anything. I did know that alcoholism and addiction in general ran in his family, so it wasn't super surprising that that was something that he was struggling with.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

I find summer usually is such an exciting time, but there's always a lot going on. You guys know we've got some travel, we've got live shows, Molly's getting married, and it's all beautiful, but it's so hard to balance everything. And I do get overwhelmed and then I feel guilty about being overwhelmed and then I unload with my therapist. Better help is such a wonderful way for people to access therapy. Especially if they've never been able to before. It's very flexible. There are over 30,000 therapists, and BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform. They've served over 6 million people globally.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

And I just love that it works with your schedule. You can change your therapist at any time. I have friends who. Their work never allowed them to find a therapist, and this was an accessible way to do that. They match you with somebody that's right for you based on a short questionnaire. And from there, I just think we all deserve a chance to be listened to and to kind of dump whatever's going on. I think of it like that, even when you go in and you're like, I don't know what I need to talk about today. Sometimes those are the best sessions because we just need a periodic unloading. You don't have to say yes to everything this summer, but find support in therapy. Sign up and get 10% [e-mail] TDD that's better. H lp.com TDD

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

but he got out of rehab. He was working the steps. I stayed in touch with him for a few months just to make sure it was kind of sticking before agreeing to go on a coffee date or something casual.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Just kind of seeing what happens first.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. Because I was just coming out of an equally weird relationship with a guy who had his top secret security clearance with the nsa. And I know you did a podcast with a girl in Hawaii who was dating someone.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Did fake boyfriend investigation, FBI or was he?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yes. And I knew immediately that he was not what he was saying because I dated one that actually had a security clearance.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

You were like, so you knew the signs.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. But when I decided to break up with him, I needed help to get out of my apartment because our lease was ending. So I was kind of waiting for the perfect way to slither out of this relationship without making a big deal about it, because he had quite a temper. One time we were driving to the grocery store and someone slightly entered his lane with their car, and he was so furious, he tailgated them an inch away from their bumper and was screaming out of his window at them. I mean, spitting mad. He followed them all the way home and then just sat outside their house and glowered at them and was very intimidating to a complete stranger who just made a simple mistake. But things like that would happen all the time where he would feel like somebody slighted him and it would just set him off. And I chose to leave by night because I wanted to avoid him turning that temper on me, and he never hit me. He was never abusive to me, but he still really scared me.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

He's trying to make it as quiet as possible, of course.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

So I just said, you know what? I'm gonna move back to my mom's for a little bit. And I needed help to move my stuff out of this apartment quickly. I think he had gone on a trip or something for the weekend, so I needed to get all my stuff out in two or three days. So I called up Adam, and he was right there. He left work. He dropped everything and came right down there and helped me pack up all of my belongings and get me into a U Haul truck and out of that apartment. We were done in an hour, hour and a half. Wow. And so that was wonderful. And I moved in with my mom for a little while, and so that was the beginning of our true relationship. Then we started going to lunches and then dinners and hanging out a little bit more as I started to trust him more.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

How did it transition from friendship to dating? What did he do? Or did you pursue him?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

No, I definitely didn't pursue him. He was just always there. Like, he'd come to the barn and bring me a coffee on his days off, or even not on his days off. So it was obvious what he wanted, but it really happened organically, and I was okay with it because I needed to make sure that he was sticking to his rehab and his AA meetings and all that stuff. And he was. He was seeing psychiatrists, like, three times a week. He was really, really committed, and that went a long way.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

What was it about him that just made you fall head over heels and just want to be around him so much?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

It was a couple of things. We spend a lot of time on the. At horse shows. Each one is six days usually, and then we're there for weeks on end before moving on to the next one.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Wow.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And he would show up. If I had a local show, I'd get there around one or two in the morning to start prepping horses. And he would be there shortly thereafter, like, at 3am with my cup of coffee, my coffee order, as well as coffees for all of my clients. And I worked with primarily junior young writers, so anyone under 18. And I had a whole gaggle of them, probably, like, 50 girls. So I was very protective of who I brought around them. But he, at this point, had proven that he was trustworthy, and he was fabulous with kids. They all absolutely adored him. He must have been buying out all of the baked goods at Starbucks and bring them to them. Yeah. And he'd bring sandwiches at lunchtime. Like he wasn't just taking care of me, he was taking care of people I considered my family.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

That's huge.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

And hot.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah, it was very attractive. So I slowly started to let him in and that was that. As we started to date in the beginning, he opened up about his first marriage and what had actually happened during that. And she was also a paramedic, but she did life facts. So on helicopters that rescue people. So that was her job. They didn't work together that often, but they were in the same county, so I'm sure they bumped into each other. And one of the things about him is that he was a big nerd. When he was a kid, he didn't have very many friends. He didn't go to parties, he didn't hang out. He didn't experiment with any substances whatsoever. He was very, what we would say, straight edged. And when he met his later wife, she was the exact opposite. She was like hitting a club every day off and she was really partying with coke. And so she introduced him to those other substances. And he explained it as he was finally comfortable around people that he didn't know, strangers. And he felt like he was truly able to be himself.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

It was that liquid courage.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And he started making friends. He was the life of the party. It was a whole experience that he never got growing up. And he absolutely loved it. For the first time in his life, he had a friend group. As unhealthy as they may have been, it was there. And at some point his wife was doing an evac and she lost the patient. And when that happens, they immediately drug test all of the EMTs and paramedics that worked on the patient. And she tested positive for quite a few things. So she lost her job. Oh, and he had already been through the rehab cycle once before, I was aware of, before meeting him, and it was for that basically the same thing. He tested positive for some illicit substances and he had told me it was for alcohol abuse, but. But it was for alcohol abuse plus a couple other things. So I'm finding this out as we've been together for a couple months. So it's just long enough to where I feel like, can I leave at this point or it's in the past. And we hopefully have learned from the second time because I don't think you're going to get a third chance. And I'm pretty sure he was told, you're not getting a third chance if it happens again, that's it, you're out and no one else is going to hire you.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

We talk a lot about when it's too early or too late to tell somebody baggage in a new relationship. How did you feel? Did you feel like he should have told you sooner?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

No. But it was about that point that I realized he was trickle truthing me. And I had also figured out that he was kind of a pathological liar. Oh. And. But it was always about stupid, unimportant things. Like he'd lie about where he ate lunch or something. Or like, oh, the dumb.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Okay, why?

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

What's the point?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

What is the point? What is the point? I couldn't figure out why. Obviously I know the truth. I was there. It was just yesterday. But I also thought, well, I'm going into this with my eyes open and if I'm aware of these issues. And he was a terrible liar too, so that didn't do him any favors. I thought, maybe it'll be okay because I'll know when he's lying to me and it's not like important things that he's lying to me about. So yeah, maybe it's okay.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Did you ever ask him, like, why do you lie about things that are trivial?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

If I caught him in a lie and I needed the truth from him, he would almost immediately fess up and correct his story. And then we both kind of have a laugh about it. I'm not sure he was even aware that he was doing it. To be completely honest. I think the bigger lies he did, but I think those little ones, I mean, a pathological liar. I've always wondered this. Are they fully aware of what they're doing or is it just their brain that takes over and they aren't aware that they are telling these little lies all over the place. But I am extremely conflict adverse. So sure I will go out of my way to avoid conflict. Yeah, yeah, it made me very nervous. I was an introvert growing up and I still am. I just call myself a gregarious introvert now because I've learned how to socialize and be comfortable talking to strangers about things. Because I don't care if you judge me. You can judge me all you want because I know everyone listening is going to be judging me later on.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Well, hopefully everybody listening. And we've created a good community of people who understand that there's a lot of context surrounding these relationships. And it does sound like, especially coming off of the relationship you had before this, you might be like, if I confront somebody, are they Going to be disproportionately.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

There's so many reasons. Also, how old are you at this point?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

I must have been. Yeah. 21 or 22.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah. Early 20s.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So very, very unsure about how to interact with people. I didn't have a whole lot of confidence. And.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

And he's 11 years older. 11 years might not be that bad, but from 21 to 32 is a very dramatic change in a person.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

That's a big life change. I think about all the life changes I've gone through in the last 11 years and it's crazy, crazy, crazy. I can't Fathom dating someone 11 years younger than me. We wouldn't have anything in common.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

I get it.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

This podcast is sponsored by Delete Me. Have you ever thought about how you maybe should do more to protect yourself from stalkers, from scammers, from hackers, but you're just not really sure what to do? This is a place to start. Go tojoind delete me.com dating detectives and enter code date TDD. You'll get 20% off delete me. So what is Delete Me? Delete Me removes your personal information that's being sold online. Especially in the age of AI, we're all especially vulnerable to scammers using our personal data. It's everywhere on the Internet and you don't know, like you don't know what's on there about yourself. Your home address is attached to who knows what, your phone number or even names of family members. It's unsettling. But Delete Me can help there. The way it works, it's always working for you. It's not a one time thing. It's always giving you a report of what is out there about you. And you tell Delete Me what to look for and you tell it what you want on the Internet and what you don't. Especially as someone with an active online presence. Privacy is very important to me and hosting the show, I know how people take advantage of your private information. So Delete Me has been great. We've been able to hook up some guests with Delete Me. You should try it. Take control of your data and keep your private life private by signing up for for Deleteme now at a special discount for our listeners. Get 20 off your Delete Me plan when you go to www.joindeleteme.com Dating Detectives and use promo code TDD at checkout. The only way to get 20 off is to go to www.joindeLeteme.com Dating Detectives and enter code TDD at checkout. I love Quince. I've been kind of going through my closet trying to throw things out that I don't need. But I've also been trying to really make sure my staples are on point. Capsule wardrobe vibes. And I just keep coming back to Quince. They focus on high quality essentials like breathable linen, soft organic cotton, washable silk, but without the luxury markup. And it's this very rare balance where everything feels elevated but still easy. I just got a purse and I love it. It was also on sale. It was only 99, but it looks like it should have been way more than that. And they have 100 European linen pants. If you're going on a vacation this summer, you need some of those. And everything at Quint is priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. I can't wait to rock my new bag this summer and all of my Quince essentials. You should try it too. Elevate your summer wardrobe. Go to quince.com datingdetectives for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.com datingdetectives for Free Shipping and 365 day returns. Queens.com datingdetectives.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Maybe four or five months into us dating, he spontaneously surprised me with a trip to Disneyland for Christmas. And he paid for everything. He paid for our airfare, went all out first class. He got us a beautiful room, shipped all of my Christmas presents there. So they were all waiting for me. Just went above and beyond. And on that trip we went out to dinner. On our first night there, we went to the Napa Rose and we sat down at our table and his eyes were always darting around, keeping an eye. It seemed like he was always keeping an eye on everyone around him to make sure everyone was okay. And I still to this day don't know how he knew it was about to happen. But suddenly he leaps up from the table, his chair topples over and he runs a couple tables down and this old woman who had to be in her 80s or 90s, is keeling backwards in her chair. And he manages to make it there in two or three steps and he catches her before she hits the ground. Yeah. And he said later, when I asked him, how did you know that was gonna happen? And he said, well, I'd been watching her and her speech was so slowing down through her dinner and she was starting to get really pale and she Was trembling, And I just saw her start to tip back, and I knew what was going to happen. So he starts up there, catches this old woman, and gently places her down on the ground and immediately starts cpr. And her family is all at the table, and they're all just sitting, standing there, like, stupefied. And as he's pounding away on this woman's chest, he's asking them questions, like, how has she been behaving today? Was she nauseous today? And her son's like, yeah, she's been complaining that she's been nauseous for two days. And we just figured it was the food here. As he's doing CPR, I'm calling 911 on my phone, and Disneyland is, I learned, the worst place to have a serious medical emergency, because I swear, it took them, like, 45 minutes to get to us. And the whole time, Adam is just pounding away on this woman's chest, keeping her alive. And they finally make it there, get her on a stretcher, they paddle her on the way there, and she ends up living. So happy ending.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Are you, like, I'm dating Spider Man?

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

That's incredible.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And we got our dinners comped.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Wow.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

But he was always like that. He was always just dropping things to rescue people that didn't even realize they were in need of rescue until it was too late. It was uncanny. But he'd take me to the symphony. He'd take me to charity events. He'd donate to the charity events. We went to the ballet.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

We're all ready to date this fella.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. What's not to love?

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

What's not to love?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And he lived in an apartment in the city, but he also owned his own home a couple hours away. And paramedics and firefighters, they have this cool schedule where they work for 48 hours straight, and then they get four days off. So he would spend those two days working, living in the apartment, and then for the four days off, he'd go back home. And his home had just been built. It was brand new. It had a spectacular backyard that he fully landscaped. It was gorgeous. It was clean. It was great. He's still insisting on going to AA three times a day, seeing a psychiatrist. I decided to stop drinking as well, just to help support him so that he wouldn't feel like. Yeah. Like he wouldn't feel pressured.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

So you guys are, like, this beautiful couple that are supportive of each other. You're both heroes. You live in a beautiful city.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. I go spend time with him at the firehouse. Because that's where he's stationed and everyone there, we all get along. We all have dinners together frequently. I loved all of his coworkers. They took me on ride alongs which was a blast.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh my gosh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

But we're now about a year into full fledged relationship where I'm living with him in the apartment. And for that period we'd go out to the house once a month just to check on things. But it was like three or four hour drive, so it just was inconvenient to go as often as he was. And so one day I came home from work and his psychiatrist had passed away.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And he had been working with her for years and they were very close. He considered her a mom figure because his mom left when he was very young. So he didn't really have a strong mother figure anymore.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And I came home from work one day and he was passed out hard in bed, which was really unlike him. He has always so full of energy. And I went to the side of the bed to like try and rouse him and that's when I see the side of a wine bottle under there. Oh no.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh no.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And so I like reach under there and I pull out five completely empty bottles of the cheapest wine you could possibly buy.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

That bottle stuff will get you wasted in a weird way.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. I felt so bad for him because here he is going through something traumatic and okay, it's been a year and he hasn't had any slip ups. And the road to sobriety is bumpy. There are always going to be slip ups. You're constantly making progress and then backsliding and that's just part of it. Yeah. I wasn't going to be mad at him about it, but I was disappointed in him about it afterwards. He was extremely apologetic. He said, you know what, I'm going to start going to AA now five times a day. And he really made it clear that this was not going to happen again. But in my head I'm thinking probably will, but we'll deal with it. We'll deal with it. Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

It's nonlinear. Wow. Five times a day. How do you do that?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

You go before work and then I think he was getting time off during work to go. And then he would go for his lunch break and then he would go midday again and then. And then he would go in the evening and sometimes he would go even later at night. There was like a 9 or a 10 o' clock meeting, but where we were in the city, there's a meeting always happening so he could go anytime. And he did. He stuck to it. And he did that for a few weeks. And again he sobered up. And I thought, over a year, that's not so bad. It's just one. One little mistake. But I had a little accident right around this time. So I think we were like a year and a half maybe into our relationship. I had a horse flip over on me.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh, my gosh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. We were on a concrete driveway, so it was very unforgiving ground.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh, my God.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. But we both landed head first into the concrete. My helmet split open, which is not supposed to happen. You saw.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

How'd that happen?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

She reared up and then just went too far upwards and lost her balance and started to tip backwards. And she was also slip sliding around on the concrete so she couldn't get her grip. So she lands on top of me. And we're both kind of laying there stunned. And I'm trying to assess what is broken because I'm sure something is broken.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Kind of going through all my body parts thinking, like, okay, it hurts, but I think everything is somehow okay. And then she decides to get up off of me. And as she's rolling off of my leg, the saddle's on her. And our saddles have wood and carbon fiber and stuff inside of them, so they have a hard structure. So she rolls over. And it just so happened that the hardest part of the back of the saddle just pressed down and basically just disintegrated. It just crushed my talus, which is normally something you break for when you're snowboarding and you fall from a really great height. So everyone was very impressed that I managed to do it this way. And anytime you fall off the horse, you get back on the horse. I knew I couldn't get back on her, but I wanted to put her away, at least get her in a stall. So I get up and I managed to get her into a stall. And every step I take, the adrenaline is wearing off. And I'm starting to lean on the walls of the barn more and more until I realize there's something really wrong.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

So it's time to call Spider Man.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. I get into my office and I take my tall boot off, which goes all the way up to the knee. And it's very snug and form fitting. And so I unzip the back of it, and as soon as I peel it off of my ankle, the whole thing just balloons out and it is black already.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh, no.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

So I just cover it right back up. With the food. And I pick up my phone and I call Spider Man. Yes. Yes, Adam. And then I get off the phone and I call 911 and I tell them, you need to send an ambulance. At this point, Adam is currently managing all of the paramedics in my county. So he is the boss of all of them. And they got me to the hospital, and as I'm in the emergency room and they're cutting all my clothes off of me to try and ultrasound everything, he comes barging in into the back room and starts bossing them around and like, did you do this? Did you do that? You need to get this done and just taking charge. So bless them. It made me feel a lot better because they took excellent care of me. And anytime we went anywhere, someone would recognize him, either a co worker or someone that he had saved, because at that point, I think he'd been doing it for 20 years.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

So he was well known.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

He was well known, and he was well known in the state. He was one of the most decorated paramedic firefighters in our state. He had won tons of awards. He was top of the heap. Everybody knew him and respected him and loved him. Everybody loved him. No one ever said anything bad about him because I don't think they knew any of the things that I knew,

[Interviewer or Co-host]

but because they didn't know better, it's fine.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. Mom's the word. Mom's the word. Yeah.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

If you've been listening to us for a while, you know that Mackenzie and I are not chefs per se. We have a lot of other wonderful qualities and skills, but that's just not one of them. However, when I use Green Chef, I feel like I'm really faking it. And you wouldn't know that I actually have zero skills in the kitchen. Green Chef delivers real food and recipes that make healthy eating easy and lasting. Every week, you get over 40 recipes made with organic produce, responsibly sourced proteins, and nothing you can't pronounce, which is a very good rule of thumb. And you can pick the program that matters to you. I love Mediterranean, so I've done that one. There's high protein. There's a new longevity line built around brain and gut. Health meals come pre portioned and they're ready in minutes. If you want guidance beyond the plate, they include free, unlimited one on one nutrition coaching that helps you stay on track. Green Chef is the only certified clean meal kit, so it's tested by the clean label project and it's the most sustainable meal kit with 20% less food waste and 100% offset delivery emissions. Go Green Chef. Head to greenchef.com 50datingdetectives and use code 50DATING DETECTIVES to get 50% off your first month, then 20 off for two months. That's code 50DATING [e-mail] 50DatingDetectives OnlyFans we've all heard about it. A lot of you have listened to our episode about the OnlyFans pimp and we've spoken to some Only fans, creators, and maybe, you know, some maybe so and so's mom, maybe an old classmate, maybe actual adult film actors that you are familiar with. But even though you know what OnlyFans is, I would like to challenge what

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

you think you know about it because

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

of a new podcast called OnlyFantasy. So yes, for a long time people have been taking their clothes off on the Internet and other people profited off of it. OnlyFans put the control back in adult content creators hands, or tries to, but what is it really about? Is it about taking the clothes off or is it about people seeking companionship and connection? I think it's both. I would say there's a lot of taking clothes off, sure. But in the new podcast, Only Fantasy journalist Leon Nayfak teams up with OnlyFans creator and comedian Gracie Kanan to bring us a show about the changing nature of explicit content, sex work and human intimacy itself. So especially if some of our episodes exploring sex work and content creation in that realm have been of interest to you, listen to Only Fantasy wherever you get your podcasts or binge all episodes of Only Fantasy ad free right now only on Audible. Start your Audible subscription in the Audible app or on Apple podcasts.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

After I broke my ankle, we had actually a trip to Hawaii scheduled for two weeks later because of course things always happen when you're two weeks away from something important, you know. So my priority was am I going to be able to fly? Because they had to do emergency surgery too, and they assured me I could. So I took them at their word and allowed them to do the surgery. And they did it. It was fine. I was in a cast and before we left for Hawaii I was totally immobile. And so he was the one that was giving me all of my medications on the hours that I needed to be be taking them. Yeah, and I completely trusted him because why wouldn't I, of course. And yeah, and he was giving me the right stuff and I was not in a place where I could do that myself. So he was managing that for me and calling in Refills when I needed them.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

And he's never had a problem with prescription drugs. It's always been alcohol and maybe some party stuff. Yeah, he has access to medical drugs all the time. It's not like he needs you to be injured in order to.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

No. And his primary job as the supervisor for the county was replenishing the controlled substances on all of the ambulances. Okay. So, yeah, I fully trusted him, as did everybody at work.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

Sure.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Why wouldn't he? We go to Hawaii, we had all of these big plans for excursions and things to do. And bless his heart, he took me through everything. I was only unable to do two things while we were there, and that was walk on the beach. Because walking in sand with crutches is a real bitch. It's impossible. Oh, my God.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

No, no, no, no.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Not possible. You just sink so straight down. It's really hard. Yeah. And surfing, I love to surf, so I couldn't do that. But.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh no, you had to lay out on the beach and have a nice man bring you stuff.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

What a terrible vacation. I mean, it does suck to be injured.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

So I am sorry, but.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

But I was okay. But he would just pick me up and carry me across the beach and get me into the water. But I was also keeping all of my medications in these locked bags that you can keep controlled substances in so that people can't take them. And before we left for the trip, I had called my doctor and told them we would be gone. And during the time we would be gone, I was due for a refill. So I asked them to give me an extra two weeks for extenuating circumstances. So they gave me a six week supply of the SP medication. I get about five or six days into this trip. And I keep them all in a pill organizer so I know exactly how many I'm taking. And I get to the end of the week and then I go to refill them and I realize I have five or six days left.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

And how many did you expect to have?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

I expected to have five weeks left. Oh, yeah. Because I had just filled them before leaving.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh, okay. See, in my head, I didn't know if you had gotten the two weeks.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Taxi.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Yeah, a previous one. So it was a couple days. No, it's a couple of weeks worth.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And not only is it in this locked bag, I lock it in the hotel safe, so it's double locked. And I bring it up to him because I'm in a panic. I'm just coming out of surgery and I'm in A lot of pain, and I kind of needed those. Plus I have a whole other month that that had to get me through, and I really don't have enough to do it. And he was just like, I don't know, maybe the hotel staff was stealing them or maybe they didn't give you enough at the pharmacy.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Huh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And I'm thinking they gave me a huge bottle, a huge one, and it was chock full. So how you go from chock full to you? But I also don't suspect him because the medications that I was on were not his drug of choice. He had been using cocaine and ecstasy previously, which are totally different than opioid medications. And he works with them on a regular basis, all day, every day. And he had never been tempted by them before. He didn't really like, it seemed, depressants or downers. He kind of liked the party drug. The cocaine would bring him up and give him energy. So I never thought that he would be even tempted by what I had. What I was taking was nothing compared to what is carried on an ambulance. And if he really wanted to do that, he had plenty of access to it at work. Why would you take my little piddly pill when you have morphine on an ambulance?

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Right, Right.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

I don't see any signs of him using them or anything or being harmed.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Yeah. His behavior is normal.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

His behavior is totally normal at this point. So he's like, why don't you just go to a Hawaiian doctor and get it refilled? I'm like, that. That's not how that works. It gets reported to the D A. The D A is who tracks every time you fill these. So.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Yeah. And they're going to be like, you can't just be like, oops, I lost all of my pain medication.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. But I don't know what to think, honestly. So I start cutting them into quarters and just limping through the rest of the trip just to get back home so I can talk to my doctor. And my doctors have been my doctors for a long time. So I was hoping they would understand.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

But even if they understand, by law, they still can't prescribe a certain amount. Right?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. Yeah. Your health insurance is also another limiting factor. Like, they won't cover certain amount.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Right.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

But if you pay in cash, you can get around that. So my doctors agreed to give me two weeks that I would have to just figure out how to get a month through. And that's fine. That's better than nothing, so.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Better than nothing. Yep.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And I paid cash for it. It was totally fine, but I'm still spiraling, trying to figure out what happened.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Where the hell is.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah, I just tried to forget about it. I got better. Pretty soon I didn't have to be on them. I have chronic pain, so I'm always on a much smaller dose. So we reverted back to my regular doses of things and life was fine. And that summer we decided to end the lease on the apartment and just move out to his house because we were paying rent and a mortgage and all the bills for both. So it didn't make sense. It just didn't make any sense. The commute was awful. It was an eight hour commute total, each day, four hours each way.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

And you're doing that.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

You continue to do that. Oh, my gosh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. We wake up at 4am, just roll out of bed, get in the car. I would drop him off at work in the city and then drive another hour down to my barn and then at the end of the day, drive up and pick him up in the city and then drive another three and a half, four hours east because it's just traffic. It's. You're going 10 miles an hour the whole time.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah. Yep.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

It was only 70 miles away.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

least. We have podcasts.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And audiobooks. That's great.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

A crazy commute to do. I would imagine that would put a strain on a relationship, at least for me.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. Yeah. It wasn't that bad because we could use the carpool lane sometimes. So we really. We got along great. We still got along great. He was my best friend. We never fought, partially because if I got upset about something, I just try and work through it myself and move on instead of making a big deal about it. And again, I think I was just young and afraid to confront and stand up for myself. Really is what I wanted. Of course. Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Are there any things you can think of that you were pushing down and not confronting him about?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

So we decided to open up a joint bank account to pay the house bills with. And at the start, the first six months, we really were both putting our paychecks into that account. And then about six months into it, I noticed that he wasn't putting every single paycheck. So he started pulling back, but I was continuing to put my full paycheck in there and that was what was paying all of the bills. I made a few comments, I should say, like, oh, we have XYZ in the joint account because I'm putting all of my money into it and that's the only money going into that account, not you should also be contributing to it. But he didn't ever really take the bait and explain why he wasn't putting his money in there. And I wasn't ready to confront him about that just yet. But I didn't want to fight over money because we didn't really need to. We were fine. But when we moved out there, he no longer had his sponsor that he'd been working with, and he also couldn't make his AA meetings. So he would go once or twice a week, I think, for the first month or two, and then it just slowly tapered until he wasn't going to any of them. But by then, he'd been sober for a long time. So I figured, okay, I would prefer you didn't do that, but you seem totally stable, and everything's fine. We still go on vacations. We have a great time together. Despite spending eight hours a day in a car together, we're just fine. We're best. We're besties, Literally, besties. Once he'd had a really good stretch of sobriety, again, he proposed. And of course, I said yes. Oh, I know. It felt like we had really finally come through the other side of all of his struggles and that we were both stronger for it. We were a stronger couple, and we didn't have any challenges. There were never any issues between us after that. Again, all my clients love them. All my little kitties love them. Everyone just loved them. So I didn't really have anybody that I could go to to talk about any of these little question marks that were popping up in my head, because everyone really liked him.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Right. How do you question that?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

So he had a huge network of people that looked up to him. He had trained all of the paramedics, and all of the firefighters looked up to him. They all knew he'd been through all these struggles, so they really respected him. They respected him for all the work he'd done. And not just his co workers and employees, but the random people that we would meet on the streets and at grocery stores. They'd walk up to him and be like, you know, you saved my mother's life eight years ago, and she's still with us today because of you. Wow. It just didn't seem like there was anyone I could go to that would be willing to overlook that or even maybe believe what I was. See.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Wow, that must have been so hard.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

It's isolating because you're like, I'm literally dating a superhero. You don't want to shatter people's hero

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

no, you don't want to tell them, Clark Kent. Like, maybe.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Right?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Money isn't.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh, no. Okay, that makes sense.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So while we're going through this, I come across a dog in a parking lot. I had just put down my childhood dog, believe it or not. My parents divorce, moving states, boyfriend after boyfriend, and it was really hard on me. So I just put this dog down, and two weeks later, I pull into a Home Depot parking lot randomly, and I see a little tiny yellow puffball tied to a tree. And it's summer. It's the peak of summer, so it's 110. And it's tied to a tree that is dead, so there's no leaves, no shade. And I move my car. I pull up, it's a puppy. It's a lab puppy. And I'm immediately furious. So I get out a little cup and I give it some water. And it drinks four of these bowls of water. And my plan is to just camp out there until the owner comes back and just ream them, read them the riot act. And then I start noticing the dog is tied to a tree with a rope just hard tied around her throat and then also hard tied to the tree. And there's multiple piles of really dried out poop around her. Oh, no, no, no. And so I decide after 30 minutes, you know what? She's obviously been here a while, and whoever would do this to a dog doesn't deserve to have a dog. So I kind of stole her. But I did the right thing. I called all the local shelters and I told them I had her and I would just take care of her and if anyone called missing a puppy, that they can have her back. And they said if no one claims her in 30 days, she's yours. Well, 30 days, no one claimed her. So clearly someone had abandoned her there. Yeah, but this little puppy was with me 24 7, just like he was. She'd go to the barn with me, she'd go to work with me. And I have epilepsy. I just have simple partial seizures. Not grand mal seizures like you see in the movies. But I noticed about nine months in that she would start acting really weird, like getting on top of me just before I would have a seizure or even a migraine.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

That amazing that they can do that.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah, I'll start to get a bit of palsy in my face. So I think that's must have been what she was picking up on.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

We do not deserve dogs.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

We don't. Do not. We do not.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

So they're incredible little Creatures. Oh, my gosh.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

Incredible.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So I rescued her, and in exchange, she kind of rescued me. So I took her to service dog training, and we got her akc. Good citizen. She's a good baby. Yeah. So good. Just most adorable little thing.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Wait, so I need to hear about Adam and the puppy. You rescue this dog. Is he, like, great?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Loves her? Yeah, she was. Welcome to the family. Commuting with us to work every day. As I'm developing this relationship with her, Adam decides that he wants a child of his own or a dog of his own. I should clarify.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Child.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

We can call them children.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

They are.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Are. They're people. And in his head, he's thinking, oh, I could train it to do search and rescue work with me. And so he picks out that he wants an Australian shepherd because it's a small enough dog. It's high energy. It could go into these tiny little concrete paths that he sometimes has to go through to rescue people. And so that's what we get. We find one, we pick her up, and they both go to work with us every single day.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh, God bless it.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

So they got along great. He wasn't a very good disciplinarian, but we made it through the puppy period. And that was that. Now one day, we go out to dinner after work, and I will never forget it, we were at a sushi restaurant, and he had been acting a little weird throughout that afternoon and that evening. A little looser, a little goofier. Almost like you would if you were just like a little bit tipsy.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Like, not totally off, but just, like, loopy, you know?

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And I think we're probably two or three years into our relationship by now, so I know how he acts normally. We're at this dinner, and I noticed that he is having trouble focusing his eyes. And not just like focusing is in, like, reading the menu, but, like, one eye is going a completely different direction than the other.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

What is that a sign of?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Well, I didn't know at the time. So I'm watching this happen. I'm like, dude, your. Your eyes are going every which way. They are currently going in two different directions. And he said, oh, yeah, I just had a really hard day, and I didn't sleep well the last two nights. I think I'm just exhausted. And I'm like, okay,

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

sure.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Weird, but okay. And I know the waitress noticed because she was giving him these kind of weird looks because he was trying to order from her, but he's looking at her 90 degrees across her shoulder, and she keeps trying to figure out what eye to focus on. Maybe this guy's got a lazy eye or something, I don't know. But it was so strange. And he almost seems like he's falling asleep occasionally or falling into a trance at the table.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

He's high as hell.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Are you scared? Are you just confused?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

I'm clocking this. I'm clocking all of these changes. And I'm nervous, But I'm willing to think, okay, because he was on a medication that would make him violently ill if he drank any alcohol. They use it for people trying to get through alcoholism. And so I knew he wasn't drunk, and I didn't really know what else would do this. Some sort of downer. But I thought, this is a one off. So maybe he is just really tired because we got home and he went to bed and just passed out. And then the next day he was totally fine.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh, oh, oh, okay, cool.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

This is what I thought. Maybe he just had a really stressful day at work and whatever. So a few weeks later, this happens again at a totally different restaurant and

[Interviewer or Co-host]

again always at a restaurant.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

How weird.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And again, he insists that he's just extremely tired. He's had a hard day at work. He's under a lot of pressure.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Some kind of pressure on your brain.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And this starts happening more and more frequently. I think there was a few week break between the first and second time, but then it starts happening every week. And then pretty soon it's two or three times a week that I start noticing this.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

He doesn't acknowledge it unless you do. He's just kind of like, ooh, a little out of it and then moves on.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

He doesn't even seem to notice. He just continues on like everything is fine.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

Is he driving?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Probably. I know I did all of the commuting, but he's certainly working the ambulance like that. But he's passing his drug tests at work and I know he's taking his alcohol medications. So I'm just totally baffled. I'm thinking maybe there's some sort of like psychological mental health thing that I'm not aware of. He did have bad eyes.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

See, they're just getting worse. You're like, can you go to your eye doctor?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And I think I did make him go. I think I did make him go. And the doctor was like, no, your prescription's fine. You just have kind of dry eyes.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

But I wouldn't know either in the moment. I would. I guess my brain is going to some kind of stroke or something.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

But yeah, yeah. But when I was younger, I did plenty of experimenting, and I never saw anyone display these signs in any of my experiences. So, sure, I was like, it can't be any of the things I'm familiar with. But it was about this time that I start noticing that my regular controlled prescriptions, I start running out early. And at first, it's just a day or two early to where I think, okay, it's possible I took an extra one.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

Yeah, I miscounted.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Right, right. Or they did.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

You never know.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

I dropped things behind the dresser, and then I find ibuprofen two months later. It happens. It happens. 100%.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah, yeah, exactly. And sometimes I put them in old containers because you have to keep them in a labeled container. So I thought maybe I've just misplaced them in the house or something. So that's what I was writing it off as. And I, of course, immediately told my pain clinic doctors this because I don't want them thinking anything untoward of me. And they're asking me questions like, usually when this happens, it's someone in the household. So could someone in your household be skimming some? And I said, absolutely not. Absolutely no way. There's no fucking way. This guy is a paramedic. He's handling much stronger medications.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Everybody respects him. He's admirable.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. He's gone through all that. And I know for a fact he's clean. He gets tested every week, so it can't be him. The only thing we could come up with is it's the pharmacy, Maybe a pharmacy tech, even though that's really hard to do.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah, of course.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

And I'm sure you have some pharmacy tech listeners that are like, yeah, it's real hard. It is. And so I start getting into the habit of. As soon as I pick these prescriptions up, I get home and I pour them out and I count them, and sure enough, I'm short. I'm short straight out of the pharmacy.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Oh, no.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

I'm short three or four. And that's how it starts. And then I start noticing that I'm short 10 to 15, which is a bigger problem.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

What?

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

We need a new pharmacy.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So I tell my doctors this immediately, and they're like, okay, next time you pick it up, you are well within your rights because you can't leave the pharmacy with them and then come back and go, I'm short. So you have to have them count them for you right there at the counter at pickup. And so that's what I do the next time I go to Pick them up. I'm apologizing profusely and I explain the situation and I said, I need you to count these for me before I walk away. And she was like, well, you can count them yourself. And she kind of just gives me this pill counter and moves me aside. And that also doesn't sound above board. I know.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Yeah.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

But either way, I counted them and they're all there. For once, they all happen to be there.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Wow.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

But the next month, I do it again, and this time it's a different tech behind the counter. And when I tell her what I want her to do, she flips up. What do you mean?

[Interviewer or Co-host]

What did she say?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

She starts shouting. She was like, we can't steal from you. Everything is recorded. Even when we count out the quantity, everything is recorded. So if you're short, you're just taking too many. Yeah. Oh, no, that has nothing to do with us. And you're just another one of them and. No.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Are you serious?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. And then she turns around and mind you, there's a line of people at the pharmacy. She yells at the pharmacist himself. She's like, this one over here wants her medication. Count it out.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Screaming that out loud.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

That's.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

I hate that when you're at the top of the pharmacy.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

So everyone now is looking at me and hearing this. And the pharmacist is like, that's fine. And he hands the tech the little pill counting thing, and again, she's supposed to count it. She throws the pill counter at me and she goes, you can count these yourself. And I'm thinking, this is such a bizarre reaction.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

So bizarre.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yes.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

There's no way.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

I don't care how long that CVS line is.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

No. And at this point, it's happened so many times, I am hardened to it, and I don't give two flying what she says. Good for you. I'm like, no, I'm not going to count it. You are going to count it. And she's like, fine, I guess I'll just drop everything and everyone can wait. And I'm like, yeah, yeah, all right. They can.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

That's all right.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Let's go. And sure enough, it was short.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

By how much? By how much?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

12.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

What does her face look like when she comes up to you and tells you it's short?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Well, she's doing it in front of me, and I can tell it's going to be short if she's starting to get towards the end.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Does she seem confident at that point, or does she seem like she's like, oh, she's scared.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

I can tell. She's sweating a little bit. She's getting shinier. Busted.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Bitch.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Okay. She's nervous. Yeah. And I said, okay, I just want the quantity that was prescribed, and I won't make a fuss, so just go get them, and I will walk away. And she's like, okay, ma'. Am. So she does. She comes and she gets the remainder, and she gives them to me. And the next month, I do it again. Different pharmacy tech doesn't throw such a big fit, but they're short again. So I said, okay, here's what I'm going to need. I don't need the full prescription because I don't care. What I need is the license number of the pharmacist that filled this, and I need your license number, and I need the license number of everyone else that was involved in filling this prescription. Oh. For the report I will be submitting to the state. Yeah.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

They have to give it to you, right? By law? Yeah, I think they do.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. Yep, they do. And that put the fear of God into them. I know at cvs, they have a camera that sits right over the tray, so they can even see each pill that goes in the bottle. So it'd be very hard to do this. It had to have been a coordinated effort.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

The licensed pharmacist is legally required to verify the medication's accuracy and ensure it's safe before it's dispensed.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

So the tech must be the one that counts it.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

This is from the Google machine, y'. All. So the pharmacy tech retrieves the correct medication from the shelf, measures or counts the pills and creates the label, and then they input the doctor's prescription and all the information in the system, and then the pharmacist verifies that it's the right drug, the dosage and quantity.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Wow. Interesting. So they were.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

There's a lot of hands involved. Yeah. So you got to check on everyone.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

At the end of the day, it's the pharmacist.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So she tries to give me the missing ones, probably thinking that that'll calm me down and I won't report it, but, of course it doesn't. I still report it, but I happened to switch pharmacies for obvious reasons, and I didn't run into this problem again.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Wow. Do you know if there were consequences for that pharmacy?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

A few years later, I went back, I had to switch back to that pharmacy, and I mentioned to them what had happened the last time I had been there. And the pharmacy tech knew exactly Who I was talking about, he was like, oh, yeah, that guy is in federal prison. He is stealing medications, controlled substances from pretty much everybody.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

What? Good for you for counting them. Oh, my gosh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Oh, my gosh.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So anyway, after I figured that out, I told my doctor, and we were all kind of like, shocked but relieved.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

But still, the boyfriend is high and we still kind of suspect him a little bit. Right. Of something.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

You never suspected him?

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

No, no. But he was definitely on something.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Yeah.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

At this point, are you thinking he's on something or you're still kind of like, I don't know why he's acting like that. I would just assume this pharmacy thing would make him seem innocent.

[Interviewer or Co-host]

Yeah.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

Yeah. So when I found out that the pharmacy was in fact the ones shorting my prescription, I thought it was all over and laid to rest. And I didn't realize that at the time, but it was the perfect excuse for him because it totally exonerated him. It was like a chain reaction of events just clicked into place. But they clicked into the wrong place because not only was the pharmacy taking, but someone else was too. Two things can be true, and I would find that out later.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

The pharmacy thing blew my mind.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

So part two next week we will hear how that obviously affects the way she used this mysterious missing medicine.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

And we'll do a deeper dogfish debrief

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Next Week with MacKenzie. But for now, thank you for listening and thank you for being on our Patreon. If you are a patreoner. We had two Patreon episodes go up this past week, so if you want to join, now's a good time. It's $5 a month or you get everything. Patreon offers the bonus episodes. Early access to merch and info and drops.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

And also just a great community of sleuthies.

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

Can't talk. Sleuthies talking about everything from our stories to their stories. You can get that and add free listening for $9 a month. The girlfriend experience, as MacKenzie would say if she were here. But she's in her hotel room and I'm in mine. I miss her. I miss her. Part two next week. Let us know what you think in the meantime. And if you have any messages of support for Emma or any of our guests, we try to get that to them. And live shows, come see them. And. And I think I did it. This feels so alone. I feel alone without her.

[Host 1 (possibly Emma or MacKenzie)]

But you know what?

[Host 2 (possibly MacKenzie or Emma)]

It's okay, cuz I have you guys. You're with me, right? I guess I'll end it now. As always, trust your femtuition.

[Emma (guest sharing her story)]

La.