The Dating Detectives - Episode Summary: "The Mile High Manipulator"
Release Date: May 12, 2025
Hosts: Mackenzie Fultz (Professional Private Investigator) & Hanna Anderson (Comedian)
Introduction
In this emotionally charged episode of The Dating Detectives, hosts Mackenzie Fultz and Hanna Anderson delve into the harrowing story of Kayla, a listener who shares her tumultuous relationship with Marcus, a pilot whose charming facade ultimately concealed a web of deceit and betrayal.
Kayla’s Story: From Ideal Romance to Devastating Discovery
[05:20] Kayla:
Kayla begins by recounting how she met Marcus on Bumble during the COVID-19 lockdown. Coming out of a difficult period after her ex passed away from testicular cancer and dealing with her mother's severe health issues, Kayla sought companionship through online dating.
[06:31] Mackenzie:
Mackenzie expresses sympathy, acknowledging the challenging circumstances that led Kayla to start dating again.
[09:17] Kayla:
Their first date was idyllic—playing cards under a backyard fire, sharing dreams of marriage and family, and enjoying each other's company. Marcus's respectful demeanor and supportive nature made Kayla feel deeply connected.
[15:56] Kayla:
As the relationship progressed, minor red flags began to surface. Marcus forgot Kayla’s birthday twice, excusing his forgetfulness as "first-year growing pains." Despite her attempts to address these issues, Kayla found herself holding onto the positive moments, believing in the potential of their relationship.
Identifying the Red Flags
[20:58] Hannah:
Hanna discusses the importance of recognizing red flags early in relationships, emphasizing that cumulative minor issues can signal deeper problems.
[22:33] Kayla:
Kayla reflects on how Marcus’s continued forgetfulness and lack of genuine effort led her to send a breakup text after the second missed birthday:
"I'm done. I don't see where this is going." [21:29]
[25:49] Kayla:
Determined to understand Marcus’s sudden disappearance post-breakup, Kayla starts investigating his online presence. She discovers alarming information that reveals Marcus had a wife and an eight-month-old child—information he had meticulously hidden from her.
"He has a wife and kid. I'm close with the wife." [62:53]
Unraveling the Deception
[30:32] Hannah:
Hanna highlights the manipulation involved in "ghosting" with calculated excuses, making it difficult for victims to trust their instincts.
[35:15] Kayla:
Kayla describes the moment she finds a stripper card under Marcus’s bed, which serves as the catalyst for her realization that something was terribly wrong.
[60:32] Hannah:
Hanna introduces the concept of "dogfish" relationships—where manipulative individuals lure victims into relationships under false pretenses.
The Aftermath and Investigation
[61:13] Kayla:
Upon discovering Marcus’s deceit through Facebook posts and subsequent messages from his wife, Kayla reaches out to both the wife and Marcus's workplace. She documents all evidence of their relationship, including intimate photos and detailed accounts of Marcus’s behavior, aiming to hold him accountable.
[70:00] Kayla:
Kayla explains how Marcus managed to maintain multiple lives by subletting rooms and manipulating workplace systems to cover his tracks:
"He would pocket the cash and go, cancel a hotel that his boss paid for." [84:41]
[82:23] Kayla:
To ensure justice, Kayla files complaints with Marcus’s employer and the FAA, initiating formal investigations into his professional misconduct and personal deceit.
Hosts’ Discussion and Insights
Red Flags to Watch For:
- Inconsistent Communication: Marcus’s pattern of sporadic communication with plausible excuses.
- Lack of Accountability: Repeated forgetfulness of important dates despite initial explanations.
- Hidden Lives: Discovering undisclosed relationships or family members, revealing deceit.
Importance of Trusting Intuition: Hanna emphasizes the necessity of trusting one’s "femtuition"—a blend of intuition and judgment—to navigate and identify unhealthy relationship dynamics.
Navigating Non-Traditional Relationships: While recognizing that long-distance and non-traditional relationships can work, the hosts underscore the importance of clear communication and transparency to prevent manipulation.
[93:14] Mackenzie:
"The sunk cost fallacy... you've put so much time into this."
[87:39] Hannah:
"I want that on a shirt." (Referring to Kayla’s assertion: "I don't care if you break my heart, but don't waste my time.")
Conclusion and Takeaways
Kayla’s story serves as a poignant reminder of the complexities and potential dangers inherent in the modern dating landscape, especially within industries that facilitate secrecy and frequent travel, such as aviation.
Key Takeaways:
- Recognize Early Red Flags: Pay attention to patterns of behavior rather than isolated incidents.
- Prioritize Open Communication: Ensure clear and honest dialogue in relationships to foster trust.
- Trust Your Instincts: If something feels off, it's crucial to investigate and seek support.
- Seek Support Systems: Leveraging friends, family, and communities can provide strength and clarity during tumultuous times.
Notable Quotes:
- "I don't care if you break my heart, but don't waste my time." — Kayla [75:43]
- "Trust your femtuition." — Mackenzie [106:21]
Final Thoughts
Mackenzie and Hanna commend Kayla for her courage in sharing such a personal and painful experience. They stress the importance of community support and open dialogue in combating deceit and manipulation in relationships. The episode not only sheds light on the intricate tactics of manipulators but also empowers listeners to recognize and act upon the red flags in their own dating lives.
Stay Connected:
For more updates on Kayla’s ongoing investigation and additional resources on identifying manipulative behaviors in relationships, consider supporting The Dating Detectives on Patreon.
“The Dating Detectives” is dedicated to helping individuals navigate the often treacherous waters of modern dating by uncovering the truth behind deceptive relationships.