The Dating Detectives – "The Mobster Next Door" (Dec 8, 2025)

Hosts: Samantha & Molly
Guest: "Susan" (name anonymized for safety)
Theme: Navigating manipulation, abuse, and deception in romantic relationships, centering on one woman’s harrowing experience dating a man claiming to be a Russian mobster.
TRIGGER WARNINGS: Domestic violence, body shaming (related to breast cancer/survivorship), psychological manipulation.

Episode Overview

This episode centers on Susan’s detailed, emotionally courageous account of being drawn into an abusive and manipulative relationship with a man (Kieran) she met via Facebook Dating—who claimed to be a secret heir to the Russian mafia in Philadelphia. Through love bombing, elaborate lies, intimidation, and emotional, psychological and physical abuse, “Kieran” created a false reality, isolated Susan, and weaponized her vulnerabilities against her. With support from friends, family, and eventually law enforcement, Susan began the long process of extracting herself from his grasp, uncovering the magnitude of his lies with help from a private investigator.

Key Discussion Points & Timeline

1. Meeting Kieran & The Seemingly Perfect Connection

• [04:29] Susan joined Facebook Dating in Nov 2023, paused after her mother’s passing, and was contacted by Kieran on the night of her mom’s funeral:
  • His message seemed “perfect”—identical backstories, both cancer survivors, children the same ages.
  • Quickly escalated from texting to calling, and they arranged to meet in person.

2. Early Manipulation & Emotional Bonding

• [05:48] Kieran cancels their first date, sobbing over the phone about a car accident involving himself and his daughter.
• [06:55] While “recovering in hospital,” Susan confides in Kieran about her double mastectomy (post-breast cancer, unreconstructed), a source of dating insecurity:
  • Kieran reassures her with a story about his female wrestler “friend” who also had a double mastectomy.
  • He expresses pride in her strength; seems supportive.

Notable Quote

“He was the first man to see me without my shirt on... He kind of forced me into doing it. Looking back, he said that he could not be with me if I wouldn’t.”
—Susan [10:20]

3. Intensified Bond & the First Red Flags

• They become inseparable—Kieran love bombs Susan, meets her family, and is “the first man to accept her body.”
• [09:14] Red flag: No injury or pictures after supposed severe car accident.
• [15:57] The first major rupture: Susan is messaged by Mara, a woman claiming she has been in a relationship with Kieran for 10 months and was recently proposed to.
  • Kieran claims the message is from his “crazy ex-wife.” Susan chooses to believe him.

4. Early Warnings & Escalation

• [18:21] Mysterious phone call: a woman warns Susan, “he is not who he says he is…be careful, especially if you have young children” then hangs up.
  • Kieran reacts with anger; Susan briefly breaks up with him, then returns, increasingly isolated from friends.

Notable Quote

“He literally destabilized my life at this point. No exaggeration. My whole being changed.”
—Susan [28:42]

5. The Mafia Confession & Psychological Terror

• [21:29] Kieran shares his supposed “dark secret”:
  • Claims to be the sole heir to a Russian organized crime ring in Philadelphia, forced into a life of torture and violence (“I’m a torturer”).
  • Claims the “hospitalization” cover story was actually a job for the mob.
• [25:55] After a breakup, he arrives at her home, pins her down, threatens her and her children, claiming he could arrange their murder for $200.

Notable Quote

“He told me that he could have me and my kids killed for $200.”
—Susan [26:21]

6. Ongoing Abuse & Entrapment

• [32:04] Susan is further isolated—loses a close friend who feels unsafe.
• [35:58] Breakup/makeup cycle intensifies: Kieran stalks, threatens, and physically restrains Susan, frequently uses fake numbers to circumvent blocks.
• Physical abuse: bruises, black eyes, fingerprint marks. Repeated break-ins.

7. Body Shaming Used as a Weapon

• [41:04] Kieran’s tactics devolve into outright psychological and sexual abuse:
  • Mocks and shames Susan’s body and mastectomy, then forces her to disrobe and stand in front of a mirror for 10 minutes, “screaming.”
  • Claims “I love your body” after weeks of telling her it’s “disgusting.”

Notable Quote

“He came to my house and forced me—physically, forcefully...held me in front of the mirror for 10 minutes. I was screaming. I was never so humiliated in my entire life.”
—Susan [42:59]

8. Gaslighting, More Lies, and Criminal Escalation

• [46:29] Kieran fakes repeated hospitalizations, invents decoys, and maintains simultaneous relationships, including the “Mara” phone affair.
• Concocts elaborate stories of mafia assassinations, eventually claims to have killed his close friend “Alexa”—a fellow cancer survivor and wrestler—to prove his loyalty to the organization. [66:43]

Notable Quote

“I was scared to break up with him because now that I knew…he was such a bad person. I felt like I had no other choice.”
—Susan [27:21]

• Physical violence escalates: drags Susan from her apartment, uses wrestling pressure points.

9. Revelation & Escape

• [73:14] Kieran sends a confession that years ago, he “shot and killed a child” for the mob, blaming this for his psychological issues.
• [75:14] Susan, with support from her aunt, finally calls the police after receiving sustained threats and harassment.
  • Kieran is arrested after Susan provides texts confessing to “murder.” No mafia support manifests; the police quickly suspect he is lying about his background.

Notable Quote

“[The police officer said] If he was really in the Russian mafia… you’d probably be dead already. Real mobsters don’t tell stories to little girls like me for sure.” —Susan [77:13]

10. The Truth Emerges

• [83:39] Private investigator debunks everything:
  • Kieran is American-born (multiple generations in Georgia), has no connection to Russia, mafia, or wrestling.
  • Illnesses (leukemia etc), employment history, childhood anecdotes—ALL fabricated.
  • Photos of his “chemo” were actually him shaving his head during his father’s illness.

Notable Quote

“Everything that man told me was a lie…He was not born in Russia…It was all just a delusion, like a character that he performed for me.”
—Susan [85:02]

• Susan reflects on her feelings of embarrassment, trauma, and her journey into therapy for recovery.

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “He was the poison and the anti-venom.” —Molly, reflecting on the cycle of abuse. [32:22]
• “He is diabolical…if someone’s willing to say those things and use that against you, what else are they willing to do?” —Molly [101:39]
• “I was in love with someone I was terrified of.” —Susan [95:24]

Analysis & Reflection (Post-Interview with Hosts)

• [94:56] Samantha and Molly discuss the classic manipulation tactics used: love bombing, isolation, guilt, gaslighting, and the illusory truth effect (hearing something enough times makes it feel true).
• [99:16] Profound analysis around body shaming as abuse, particularly when linked to trauma like breast cancer.
• [100:38] Samantha: “I would also classify it as sexual harassment...forcing her to do something sexual and vulnerable...We can expand our definition of abuse and trauma.”
• Red Flag Reminders & Advice:
  • Trust your instincts/gut.
  • “If you get a gut feeling, go with it…if you have a bouquet of red flags, run.” —Susan [91:27]

Notable Timestamps

• 05:47 – Susan shares the story of her mastectomy and its impact on dating.
• 15:57 – “Mara” sends the first warning message.
• 21:29 – Kieran reveals his supposed mafia background.
• 25:55 – First severe physical violence/explicit threat.
• 41:04 – Psychological and sexual abuse; forced to view at her body.
• 66:43 – Kieran claims to have killed his friend Alexa.
• 73:14 – Text confession to killing a child.
• 75:14 – Police and SWAT involved; Susan presses charges.
• 83:39 – Truth emerges post-PI investigation.

Conclusion: Support and Recovery

• Susan ends in a better place, in therapy, and preparing to testify for her protection order.
• Hosts express admiration for Susan’s survival, and underscore:
  • Abuse survivors often feel foggy, isolated, and ashamed—this is NORMAL.
  • It is never your fault for believing someone who weaponized your trust and vulnerability.
  • Reach out for help; community can make you feel less alone.

If you or someone you know is in an abusive situation, support is available:

National Domestic Violence Hotline: 1-800-799-6723

Key Takeaways

• Love bombing and quick intensity are red flags, especially after trauma.
• Elaborate stories that can’t be verified should be challenged—with support.
• Isolation, intimidation, manipulation, and shaming are classic abuser tactics.
• Physical and psychological violence often intensify over time.
• Professional support (therapy, law enforcement, PI) was crucial in Susan's escape and recovery.

For more community and support, join The Dating Detectives Patreon, or connect via social comments for shared experiences.

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