The Postpartum Plot Twist

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Postpartum Plot Twist

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Dating Detectives
• Host/Authors: Mackenzie Fultz (Professional Private Investigator) and Hannah Anderson (Comedian)
• Guest: Jade (Anonymized Name)
• Episode Title: The Postpartum Plot Twist
• Release Date: August 4, 2025

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Introduction

In this emotionally charged episode of The Dating Detectives, hosts Mackenzie Fultz and Hannah Anderson welcome their guest, Jade, to share a harrowing tale of betrayal that intertwines professional misconduct and personal heartbreak. The episode delves deep into the complexities of trust, especially within the vulnerable postpartum period, and sheds light on the signs of deceit in relationships.

Jade's Story

Beginning of the Relationship

Jade, a 30-year-old single mother of two, introduces her relationship with her wife, Sarah. Their bond strengthened during Jade's unplanned pregnancy, with Sarah providing unwavering support postpartum.

Jade [04:47]: "The father of my child was not involved when I told them that I was keeping the baby. I went through pregnancy alone."

Despite Jade's initial hesitations and her attempts to gently push Sarah's romantic advances away, their close proximity and shared responsibilities fostered a deepening connection.

Signs of Betrayal

As the relationship progressed, subtle red flags began to emerge. Sarah's increased secrecy, such as keeping her phone face down and being elusive about her whereabouts, raised Jade's suspicions.

Jade [12:28]: "The messages weren't current, but I saw messages from her and Dr. Bass... professing undying love."

Jade discovered incriminating messages on Sarah's laptop from Dr. Bass, her OB-GYN, indicating an inappropriate relationship. Despite denying the affair initially, Sarah's consistent behavior and lack of genuine remorse heightened Jade's unease.

Discovery and Confrontation

The betrayal became undeniable when Jade confronted Sarah about the deleted messages and irregular communications with Dr. Bass. The situation escalated when Sarah admitted to the affair, leading to a tumultuous separation.

Jade [66:37]: "She confessed that they slept together, and I wasn't surprised because I always had a gut feeling."

Their once harmonious relationship unraveled rapidly, compounded by Jade's postpartum depression and the stress of caring for a newborn alone. Attempts to seek justice through the medical board resulted in limited repercussions for Dr. Bass, leaving Jade feeling further betrayed by both her spouse and her trusted medical professional.

Discussion and Insights

Red Flags and Trust Issues

Mackenzie and Hannah dissect the early signs of Sarah's deceit, emphasizing the importance of recognizing subtle behavioral changes in a partner. They discuss how love bombing can mask deeper issues, making it difficult to identify manipulation until it's too late.

Hannah [95:33]: "Symptom of control is when someone does something to hurt you, but they think it's funny."

Impact of Postpartum Depression

The episode highlights how postpartum depression can exacerbate vulnerabilities in a relationship, making individuals more susceptible to manipulation and less capable of making clear decisions.

Jade [86:29]: "It's the hardest thing of my entire life... trying to rebuild that back up while taking care of other people."

Professional Misconduct

The conversation delves into the ethical breaches committed by Dr. Bass, underscoring the critical need for maintaining professional boundaries, especially with patients undergoing significant life changes like childbirth.

Jade [81:22]: "The postpartum period is so intricate, so delicate, and so important."

Legal and Medical Ramifications

Jade's pursuit of justice through the medical board reveals the challenges victims face in holding professionals accountable. Despite evidence, institutional protections often hinder meaningful consequences.

Jade [72:42]: "But ultimately, the outcome was a phone call, and they said... her license was suspended for a while."

Conclusion

The Postpartum Plot Twist serves as a poignant reminder of the intricate layers of trust and deception in relationships. Jade's story is a testament to resilience in the face of profound betrayal and the ongoing struggle for accountability within professional spheres. Hosts Mackenzie and Hannah encourage listeners to remain vigilant, trust their instincts, and prioritize mental health, especially during vulnerable periods like postpartum.

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Notable Quotes:

• Jade [04:47]: "The father of my child was not involved when I told them that I was keeping the baby."
• Jade [12:28]: "The messages weren't current, but I saw messages from her and Dr. Bass... professing undying love."
• Jade [66:37]: "She confessed that they slept together, and I wasn't surprised because I always had a gut feeling."
• Hannah [95:33]: "Symptom of control is when someone does something to hurt you, but they think it's funny."
• Jade [81:22]: "The postpartum period is so intricate, so delicate, and so important."
• Jade [86:29]: "It's the hardest thing of my entire life... trying to rebuild that back up while taking care of other people."

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This episode not only narrates a deeply personal story of betrayal but also opens up a broader conversation about the red flags in relationships, the importance of mental health support, and the ethical responsibilities of professionals. It serves as an insightful resource for anyone navigating the tumultuous waters of trust and relationships in the modern dating landscape.

Transcript

[Hannah]

The following program contains names, places and events that have been anonymized or fictionalized for the purposes of protection and safety. The following program is provided for entertainment purposes only, and any commentary from the hosts are strictly conjecture and should not be held as making any definitive statements about the truth or identity of any particular individuals or circumstances. If you or a loved one are involved in an abusive relationship, please call the National Domestic violence hotline at 1-800-799-7-7-7233 for support.

[Mackenzie]

Happy Monday. National Holiday Dating Detectives Day.

[Hannah]

Dating Detectives Day. How's everybody doing?

[Mackenzie]

I love Mondays. I love that everyone is so excited for Mondays because they get to hear the latest story that we have, which we're always excited to share. Thank you guys for being here.

[Hannah]

Our guest today, her name is Jade. We love her.

[Mackenzie]

I love that name, too.

[Hannah]

This is a. Oh, yeah. Well, it is an anonymous name. We anonymize everything. If you're thinking about submitting. But we cute. We picked cute, anonymized names.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Hannah]

No, this story, I mean, there. I don't want to spoil it, but it is definitely a case of someone is a dogfish. That is a massive professional betrayal as well as personal. Like. Yeah, it's. If you, if you think about professional people that are in your life, it's one of the worst possible positions that someone can hold if they dogfish you. That didn't make a lot of sense, but you'll get it at the end.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah. And in regards to that, there's an episode on our sister podcast, the Medical Detectives.

[Hannah]

Mackenzie.

[Mackenzie]

What?

[Hannah]

Tell someone if they don't know what the Medical Detectives is.

[Mackenzie]

The Medical Detectives is basically like, kind of like the dating Detectives, but on.

[Hannah]

The medical scale it's not so always dogfish, but it's misdiagnosis.

[Mackenzie]

It's medical professional.

[Hannah]

It's hosted by orthopedic surgeon Dr. Aaron Nance, who's awesome and just wrote a book. And then the content creator, Anna o', Brien, who I followed before she even started doing this.

[Mackenzie]

I know so much.

[Hannah]

It's all about strange, surprising medical tales from the similar to us, the people who went through them.

[Mackenzie]

So, yeah, so you'll really like that.

[Hannah]

You should listen.

[Mackenzie]

So that's. Yeah. So that's what it reminds me of. But this, this case is kind of wild because it's just so like Hannah said, there's people in our lives that are in these professional positions and it's like when it crosses into something it shouldn't. What do you do and what's it's really interesting. You're going to love Jade so much.

[Hannah]

There is some postpartum depression discussed. I don't think there's anything else super triggering, but that is something to be aware of. And what else? Quick updates. Thank you to everyone who came to the latest self defense workshop in Santa Monica. I hope we can bring it elsewhere. I know some of you have talked about wanting us to do self defense in other cities and that's on the vision board.

[Mackenzie]

We're gonna take it on the road.

[Hannah]

We're gonna take it on the road. But thank you to Bri. Self defense with Bri is the woman who instructs it and she's badass. And then thank you to the people who came and the brands who sent products. And I wanna shout out, Choose Joy Magnets is accompanied by one of the slides. Luthis, who came to the show and she made I'm showing. I know it's a podcast you guys can't see, but she made custom magnets of us.

[Mackenzie]

What a cute name. Choose Joy Magnets. I love that.

[Hannah]

So she has a little business if you guys want to go get some magnets.

[Mackenzie]

That's right.

[Hannah]

Check it out.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, that's, that's adorable. I'm loving that.

[Hannah]

And with that, I think we're ready to hand it to Jade.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, let's, let's meet Jade. Let's get into it. Jade, thank you for being here. Will you please share your story with us? Go ahead. You have the floor?

[Jade]

Yeah, absolutely. So my name is jade. I'm a 30 year old single mom of two little boys. I have a one year old and a five year old. I have my bachelor's in psychology and dance. That was my original path. But then life happened, Things changed. I ended up getting pregnant and having to get a different job instead of continuing my education. And that is where I met Sarah. So Sarah and I were kind of friends. I mean, we were friends. We weren't super close before I was pregnant. And then when I was pregnant, we were friends throughout my pregnancy and they actually, I guess expressed their feelings for me kind of a couple times throughout my pregnancy. And I just kind of would push them away gently and just say, hey, obviously I have a lot going on right now. You know, I'm not in any position or place to be with anybody. I like this is something I need to do by myself.

[Hannah]

I have a question. Sorry. I'm bi and coming out was weird. I cannot imagine getting pregnant and then I don't know where you. I'm just curious where were you in that journey? Were you like, oh my God, a girl is flirting with me?

[Jade]

No, I had, I'd been with women before and I. I don't know, I never really like classified myself as anything, but I guess textbook wise, that would be considered bisexual.

[Hannah]

No, you don't have to.

[Jade]

Yeah. So I mean, and I mean, I guess a little bit of background about being pregnant with my first. It was, it was unplanned and it wasn't somebody that I was in a long term relationship with. And I didn't have feelings for Sarah at first. Like, we were just good friends and I just was not in a place where I wanted to be in a relationship or that I had feelings for Sarah totally. But Sarah was a really good friend to me throughout the pregnancy. And then even when I had my baby, Sarah was there, supportive, and actually took on kind of a caretaking role. When I went back to work at about four months postpartum, my mom and Sarah would kind of both partner and take turns in taking care of the child while I was at work. Because Sarah and I worked opposite schedule and we just got really close really fast to the point where even I, you know, I had family that would kind of inadvertently and friends ask me, like, if there's something more going on here. And Sarah and I had had the conversation more. So Sarah telling me a couple more times how they felt about me. And I'd still told them, like, hey, you know, I'm freshly postpartum. I just feel like I need to not jump into anything.

[Hannah]

This is not the time.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah. And it just not be something not legit.

[Hannah]

Tell us more about Sarah. What was your first interaction? Was she like.

[Jade]

Yeah, so. Okay, so I guess the first interaction will be. First interaction that I had with Sarah. It was at work. And they approached me at work one day and started telling me about their girl issues because the. This is where it gets a little messy. And you can appreciate this. Probably Sarah was currently being broken up with or like having issues with a woman that I dated first who also worked there. So it was like a weird.

[Hannah]

I wish I could say I was surprised.

[Jade]

Yeah, it was a weird little triangle. But I guess she thought, oh, you know her, she knows you. Like, you could give me insight. So she just came in and kind of like benched it to me about what was happening in that situation. And I honestly don't remember what I said other than we kind of found out that maybe our timelines had over overlapped a little bit when I was dating this person. Versus when she was dating this person. And we were like, oh man. But that's kind of the first interaction we had. And nothing really happened after that, I don't think. Then we just kind of continued to talk and hang out as friends within like the same friend group. I do remember this one time we all went to the movies together with the friends from work. And it was, it was kind of funny because I was walking into like the movie aisle and two people like Sarah and another person switched places so Sarah could sit next to me. And I was like, huh. Like I didn't know at this point how she felt about me. And then there was another time where we went out for drinks and at this point I knew that I was pregnant, so I wasn't drinking, but Sarah was off the rails, already drunk. And we were on the dance floor and we went to dance and she like went in to kiss me and I had to be like, whoa. But that night, that was the first night that I don't even say it was like close, but like we got closer. Ish. Physically, definitely. And then the next day I came out of work to a card and a bouquet of flowers on my car. Oh, that said I'm sorry or thank you for taking care of me or something because she puked in my car too. And she got it like, oh, no. Chunks of my window.

[Mackenzie]

Oh no.

[Hannah]

Oh, the least she could do is get you a. Some flowers.

[Jade]

Yeah, I thought it was nice. So I guess that's where our friendship first kind of like started and blossomed. So then onto I guess this 6 month ish mark. There have been a couple times where Sarah had expressed their feelings toward me. And I mean, I. To the point where I was telling them like, hey, I know you all feel like this other person, like go pursue them, you know. And then around that six month mark, like it, it was one day when I even had my mom approach me and was like, hey, Sarah treats you and your son really well. They're really good to you. And I don't know exactly what the word she said was, but she was basically letting me know that she wanted me to know she would be okay if it was something more. Right. And it wasn't until then that I actually thought about there being something more.

[Hannah]

That's sweet. But also I'm imagining like when your mom comes in with that kind of opinion, it, it can carry weight.

[Jade]

Absolutely, absolutely. And I mean especially, I don't know, you're still postpartum. Postpartum lasts a long time. And so I Do see this person who is taken care of.

[Mackenzie]

And that can affect your. Your reactions, your responses, your hormone a lot. You're all of it. It's.

[Jade]

But that's exactly what I wanted to avoid, is not making a decision based on how I was feeling in the moment. You know, I wanted it to be a legitimate decision, not based on, like, temporary feelings that I was having. Cuz how easy can you attach to somebody when you're postpartum and you're lonely? I was alone. I guess I should say that the father of my child was not involved when I told them that I was keeping baby. Like, I went through pregnancy alone.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, like, he was like, nope, not interested, not interested.

[Jade]

So he wasn't involved in the situation or the pregnancy, still has never met the child, so.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, okay.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Well, you're strong. The fact that you were like, I know that I'm in a vulnerable position and don't want to put myself in the place of maybe being taken advantage of or making the wrong decision. Like, that's wise beyond your years.

[Jade]

Thank you. I appreciate that. But it got me. It got me at some point. So Sarah was definitely like, you know, a very present person in my life. I know my sister, in talking to her recently, she would be like, no. Like, there was no way that you wouldn't have fallen in love with her at some point in time because she was at your house every freaking day. Like, no matter how many times you said no, she chased me for like eight months. And no matter how many times I said no, she didn't go anywhere. You know, she stayed there and not necessarily broke me down, but kind of broke me down. So there was this one day where I was going to take family pictures with me and my boy for. It was like fall pictures. And Sarah came along because it was Sarah's birthday and we were going out that night afterwards, but Sarah came along with the pictures. And the photographer, I guess, assumed like, we weren't. We weren't a family unit, but Sarah was with us. And his photographer at some point asked us all to take a picture together and we did. And I think kind of from that night is where we just fell into the whole relationship itself. I mean, we had clarifying conversations afterward, but that's kind of like where it first was solidified. Like, okay, we have this family unit and we're taking pictures together. And then I don't remember exactly how and when the conversation after that happened, but of course we had clarifying conversations about, okay, well, like, what's our date? That we started dating, like, what's our anniversary date? And that type of thing. But then from there on, we kind of just spent every single day as much as possible together. We took a family vacation, air quote to the mountain. And it was great. We had so much fun. We stayed in a little cabin in the woods. My son was learning to walk. We had his walker there. So it was like a cute little. I don't know, it'd be the best, the best little situation to make like a home movie in a cabin in the woods. It was awesome. There was one night where I. It always sounds like such a bad thing when you say it, but I went through or saw something on her laptop in terms of messages. Backtrack a little bit. Sarah was always super secretive with everything. Like phone always face down, always on, do not disturb, whenever around. Like very secretive. Right. And I don't remember how. It doesn't. I feel like I'm trying to make it sound better. I don't think I was looking through her laptop intentionally. I think I was using it for something. Neither here nor there, but I saw messages from the person that I was encouraging her to date while I was pushing her away. Right.

[Hannah]

Oh, so you knew. Exactly. Yeah, yeah.

[Jade]

And so the messages weren't. The messages weren't like current in terms of them currently talking, but it was like two weeks prior, maybe three weeks prior or something before we officially started dating. And it was like professing undying love for like full middle name. I love you so much. I want to marry you. I want to have sex with you. Everything like that. Right. And so of course I had that kind of reaction because, like, you're saying all this to me now, but like a month ago or however long ago to somebody else, how do I know it's legit? I remember calling my sister and I'll kick myself to this day for it. I called my sister and told her about it and she was like, jade, it's only going to happen again. Like once it happens once, it just will continue to happen. And like she basically had that conversation of like, this is. It's so soon enough in your relationship now that you just need to decide which direction you're going to go. Well, Philly, me. I was like, well, she didn't cheat on me. So I went the other direction and was like, all right, we'll just, we'll get over it.

[Hannah]

Did you talk to Sarah about it?

[Jade]

Oh, we had a big blow up fight about it. She was, wow, really? Oh, yeah.

[Hannah]

They were like, don't Go through my laptop. Did they?

[Jade]

That was the biggest thing. Why were you looking at my stuff? But then it was like, you know, that was before, it's not now. And it was very much so. I remember it being more so like they were hurt than me, which was funny because every fight after that didn't happen that way. Like they were sobbing the entire car ride home from Tennessee and I was just kind of like stone faced. And I dropped them off and we didn't talk for a couple of days.

[Mackenzie]

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[Hannah]

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[Jade]

So that vacation ended kind of poorly. And I don't remember exactly how we came back together or how we started talking again. Obviously there was a big apology. And with every apology would always be a, like, it'll never happen again. I'm gonna fix this. Oh, of course. I'm gonna make us. Right. I'm gonna do whatever I can, that type of thing. And so we moved in together probably pretty quickly. It didn't feel like it was quickly, though, but I guess because we had been friends for so long and because we just rushed really fast into like the family dynamic, so we moved in June of that year into our first house together.

[Hannah]

So how long.

[Mackenzie]

And that was exactly how long after y' all had been together?

[Jade]

Five, six months. I was living in my parents house with my son, you know, so like, it was good. It was good for everybody to be out of my parents house. It seemed like the right thing to do at the right time throughout the entire beginning of the relationship. Maybe like the first whole year. It was great. It was your. Your classic textbook love bombing. I got flowers and cards often. And it's hard to see love bombing when you're in it because of course I wanted to, like, give gifts and, you know, do things that were sweet and nice too. But then as we got more into the relationship, we started fighting more. I was mainly over, like, attention. I wanted attention. I wanted more attention. We fought a lot about me wanting more attention just because it's like I got so much in the beginning, especially that first year, and then it just kind of got cut off. Maybe not cut off well, because that's.

[Mackenzie]

The expectation that has been set for you. So then when it goes away, you're like, wait, give it back.

[Hannah]

And what did I do wrong? Yeah, that's what I would do. I would be like, wait, don't you love me? Don't love me anymore.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Jade]

And that's the thought process is like, hey, is there like, do you feel differently about me? And I'd always be reassured that they didn't. It just either work or I'm tired or I. I don't know, I'm just not in the mood or just different things. And I remember having internal conversations of like, is this what I want long term? Like, can I do this long term? And I was like, no, no. Like you, you have your 80, 20, you deal with the things that you don't like because you choose a person. So after that, we went to couples counseling. And the counseling worked. I thought it worked, but what it did was it also brought down, like, the turbulence. You know, we didn't have as much fighting. And so then the next interesting or big life event was we went on a cruise together, and that's where she proposed to me. You want romance? That was very nice. Right. I had no idea that it was happening. She had booked me a manicure, pedicure appointment and a hair appointment on the cruise without me knowing. Took me up there, got me pampered, and I was like, oh, this is such a nice surprise. And we went to, like, the nice formal dinner that evening, and we went on the fancy staircase where they take your picture, and they're telling me how to pose, and I turn around, and there she is with the ring, and everybody's, what is it like? And then the next two days, everybody's stopping us on the cruise, like, oh, my gosh, Congratulations.

[Hannah]

You're, like, celebrating.

[Jade]

Yeah, it was great.

[Hannah]

No, that is good to share because people often come out of these episodes like, well, they were awful. And we don't always have time to share the parts that they weren't right. And it's important to remember that, yeah, people know how to be amazing for a lot of the time.

[Jade]

Absolutely. Definitely had a lot of romantic things there. It was really just like, the. More I would say a lot of it was good when it came to, like, things that could be outwardly seen. You know, it was like the intimate behind closed doors stuff that was a little more difficult sometimes. So fast forward. We're engaged, son is two years old. She wants to move. And while we're searching for a house, we look at things that's, like, more out of our current budget. And she's like, well, why don't we just go get courthouse married so that we can be on I am a veteran so that we could be on your veteran loan together. And that way we could both have the title of the house and it could be in both of our names. So we went and got courthouse married so that we could afford this house and be on the loan together. And it was. It was kind of. I mean, it was a dream house. We loved it. And then maybe three or four months into that house, we got pregnant. We had been talking about having another baby probably for about a year. And by talking about, I would say that, like, from the beginning, Sarah had told me that they wanted to have a baby with me. And that was all fine and dandy, but, you know, I was definitely not ready to have another kid yet. I did always want my son to have a sibling, though, so it was something that I definitely wanted in the future.

[Mackenzie]

Is that. Can I ask, with same sex relationships, when you have a baby, how do you determine how that's gonna happen? Like, do you guys have a talk together about, oh, we're gonna buy into sperm donor, donor, or someone we know? And was that a problematic conversation or was that easy for you guys to decide on together?

[Jade]

Yeah, so it wasn't problematic at all. It's all about, like, what your preference is, and there's so many different avenues that you can take. So the first avenue that we actually went through was what's called Just a Baby. It's an app where people actually sign up to be donors for people who cannot have children. Oh, wow. There's no payment or anything. They literally. It's like you create a dating profile almost and you try to match with people.

[Hannah]

Oh, my gosh. I did not know that existed.

[Mackenzie]

That's amazing.

[Jade]

Called Just a Baby. Just a Baby, if you want.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And did you have a good experience on it before we start telling people to use it?

[Jade]

Yes and no. The app was great itself. It's very user friendly. And we found we met with two different people. Like, we just met at a coffee shop. Nothing went forward with those two. So then we found one person that we met with and we liked and we tried with him a couple times and it was unsuccessful. Successful. So then we went to the completely, like, medical route where we bought sperm online from a sperm bank and went to a medical clinic and they inseminated it for me. And I got pregnant on my first try.

[Mackenzie]

Wow. Okay. Well, congratulations. Like that. But when you're trying to get pregnant, like, I had to try to get pregnant because my ovulation was all wacky. Whatever. That's a struggle in itself. And, like, you're like, are we. Is this gonna happen for us? And, like, you really don't know. So when that happens, I imagine. Were you both super happy and everything was fine? Like, you were both really excited about that?

[Jade]

Yeah, we were definitely very excited. There were a little bit of. There was like, a little bit of stress in the waiting period of figuring out if we were pregnant, because it was. I was clocked 24 7. Well, do you feel pregnant? How do you feel?

[Hannah]

How do you feel pregnant?

[Jade]

What are you thinking? What symptoms are you having? Have you tested yet? And I'm like. Like, I feel like I am a Machine right now. Who needs to be, like, known? I promise I'll let you know when my nipples feel funny. Just give me a minute.

[Mackenzie]

Like, for sure.

[Jade]

Yeah. But, yes, we were both very happy when we found out. And at the beginning, man, being pregnant was great. With Sarah, I was getting, like, some massages and some home cooked meals, and there was a lot more attention, a lot more attentiveness in the beginning. And then I found out I had gestational diabetes, and there was a huge effort of making me healthy meals for the gestational diabetes and was like rubbing coconut oil on my belly. So being pregnant, going through pregnancy was great. When we found out we were pregnant, I had seen Dr. Bass once or twice when I was pregnant with my first son. And I remember liking her a lot. Super friendly, super energetic. And for some reason I thought in my mind that she herself was a wife and had a child with a woman. And I was like, oh, an ally for us. That'd be great. Someone who would, like, you know, be a good advocate for our baby. So we sought her out. She was a highly sought out doctor, had great reviews, and we actually ended up asking her during one of our appointments. I forgot how it came up, but after we'd seen her a couple times and gotten to know her, we were like, I can't tell if she is gay or not, or looking at her social media if she did have a family. So we felt comfortable enough asking her if she was during one of her appointments, and she was like, oh, absolutely not. I could never be gay. That's my sister. I know too much about vaginas. And if I were gay, then I'd just have to be a pillow princess or something along those lines.

[Hannah]

Yeah, funny, but also, like, kind of. I don't know, I feel like that's weird. Weird to say.

[Jade]

Overall, she was great. I mean, we felt super comfortable. I felt very seen and advocated for, especially when it came to the gestational diabetes diagnosis and her support with that. And then finding out that our son had a congenital heart defect. Oh, no.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

They were able to see that in utero through an ultrasound during the pregnancy.

[Mackenzie]

Really? Oh, wow, that must have been hard.

[Jade]

They couldn't tell the full extent, but they knew that there was a possibility that we'd have to have some sort of surgery. But, yeah, we felt super, like, trusting in her. Very open. There was actually one appointment where Sarah asked Dr. Bass if they could officiate our wedding. We had gotten legally married at the courthouse, but our wedding was set to take place In September, like, everything was jam packed. We moved in, what, June or July, legally married in March, moved in June or July, got pregnant in September, having a baby in June. We're going to get married in September. Like, it just was very impact.

[Mackenzie]

Okay.

[Jade]

Yeah. And I had a couple. How involved were. I was crazy, but I'm all in if she's all in.

[Hannah]

How about your families? Were they both still very involved?

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And very supportive. Very involved, Very supportive. I will tell you that my sister is the one person who looks back at it now and she's like, you were not ready to have that baby. You looked at me like you were terrified to have that baby and you were peer pressured into it. And I was like, I mean, yeah, I was definitely scared, but I felt like I had someone to fall into, you know, Like, I felt like I had a partner in it. So. But our relationship with Dr. Bass was great. Like I said, you know, my wife Sarah, asked her to officiate our wedding. Thankfully. Thankfully, they were not able to. They were not in town the week of our wedding. And that was one of those things where I just kind of like, went along with. There were a lot of things with Sarah that I just went along with because I.

[Mackenzie]

Sure.

[Jade]

I think we had those relationship roles where she definitely took the lead. And even if I didn't want her to, she was the one who took the lead. But I kind of fell into it most of the time. But fast forward to kind of the end of the pregnancy, where it was the appointment before my scheduled C section, and Dr. Bass approached both of us and was like, I really like you guys. I want to be your friends. And so Sarah was like, well, how would that work, you know, with your job? Wouldn't you get in trouble? And she was like, oh, we just have to be really careful. And, you know, worst case scenario, I'd get a flap on the wrist. And so we were like, okay. I mean, we like you too. We think it'd be cool. And that day, she also added me on Instagram. And so from then, it was kind of one of those things where, like, you. You know how you know or like, you notice things where it seemed like Sarah was a lot more interested in stalking their social media or seeing if they had seen our social media posts or that type of thing, responding to their social media posts.

[Hannah]

Just to clarify. So this is when you're still pregnant. You're not out of that yet. Okay. Because I was like, doctors and patients could theoretically become friends, but I guess while you're in the middle of treatment with them. It's murky.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah. It's iffy, Right?

[Jade]

Yeah. Yeah. And I'll explain, I guess, more details about that, too.

[Hannah]

This episode is sponsored by Delete Me. Delete Me makes it easy, quick, and safe to remove your personal data online at a time when surveillance and data breaches are common enough to make everyone vulnerable. And I'm very happy to say that we've been able to help some of our past guests use Delete Me to protect themselves from stalking or online harassment. It's a really cool resource, MacKenzie. As a PI, you definitely know how valuable it is.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, yeah, and that's why I'm glad that the podcast that's. I didn't know about Delete Me before the podcast, and I'm really glad to find out more about it. So just to give you a little. Just to give you a little peek into, like, the PI world, when I'm working a case, I go onto the Google machine and I want to type this person's name. And that's the first place I go is the free, public, just whatever Google machine, the www. I go there, type in their name, and see what I can find. And usually when you do that, the things that pop up are different websites, and they will. Those are data brokers, and they make a profit off of your data because your data is a commodity. So anyone on the web can go click on one of those links, and then this data broker will say, hey, I'll charge you this much money to get this information. So the data brokers make it easy for people to get your information, which can lead to the identity theft and the harassment, things like that. But now you can protect your privacy with Delete Me. So data brokers have your name, contact info, Social Security number, home address, information about your family members. All of that is compiled by data brokers and sold online. Right. So help yourself by signing up for Delete Me. It's a subscription service that provides you monthly reports, and you tell them what you want deleted, and they find the information and they send you a report of what they've deleted each month. So you just allow Delete Me to do the hard work and, you know, help. They help you to take control of your data.

[Hannah]

So we're not saying this is going to be like, delete your Instagram. It's not that. It's about the stuff that you don't know is out there. The personal information that you might not realize.

[Mackenzie]

You don't realize how easy it is to get, like, all your private Details. Anyways, take control of your data. Keep your private life private by signing up for Delete Me. I use it myself and it's now at a special discount for our listeners. Get 20% off your delete me plan when you go to JoinDeleteMe.com Dating Detectives and use promo code TDD at checkout. The only way to get 20% off is go to JoinDeleteMe.com dating detectives and enter code TDD at checkout. That's JoinDeleteMe.com dating detectives code TDD. This is an ad by BetterHelp. Okay, Hannah.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Mackenzie]

Do you agree that we need to normalize mental health?

[Hannah]

Duh. Yeah.

[Mackenzie]

One Hondo P. Wahondo, P. So I feel like. And tell me what you think. I feel like there's a stigma behind, like, mental health and counseling and things like that that, you know, kind of keep people from seeking therapy. Right. Do you agree?

[Hannah]

And I think, I think we don't realize that that stigma is still there because it's common on social media and podcasts to talk about mental health in a way that's like, oh, we've made progress, which we have. But I think we can all point to people in our social life who are like, yeah, mental health is real. But then behind the scenes, they don't want to go to therapy because it feels vulnerable or shameful or, I don't know, people just weird that it's necessary.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, and that's a good point, too. You don't think it's necessary because a lot of people think, well, I haven't been through trauma. And just to give you a little bit of personal, I'm going to get a little vulnerable with you. As someone who I just turned 41 years old and I've been overweight my whole life. And so I've been on this weight loss journey and I had gastric sleeve surgery to lose weight. But what I didn't realize was that my relationship with food had to do with my mental health and trauma and things like that. So when I sought therapy through better help, I was given tools and resources to help me kind of navigate through the trauma and my experiences with my relationship with food. But using trusted resources that better help offers and talking to live therapists can get you personalized recommendations and help you break through that noise. For me, it was food noise, and it has really, really helped along with my weight loss journey, diet and exercise, things like that, obviously. But this has been the, the mental aspect that I think a lot of people don't talk about, especially when, for me, for instance, when it comes to weight loss.

[Hannah]

Yeah. How has Better Help worked with your schedule? Because I. I know somebody who wanted to go to therapy but never did because it just didn't work with their schedule. And Better help is the only thing that got them there. And it's been game changing because it was somebody that I was like, they're never gonna go. Like, I just, I. We had given up hope.

[Mackenzie]

No, it's true. And I. I live in the Tampa area, and anywhere you go takes 30 minutes. So you're taking two, three hours out of your day just to go to an appointment, come back, wait, and then you gotta sign ins. All this Better help makes it easy because it's the largest online therapy provider in the world with over 30,000 therapists. And it's just so convenient. You join a session with a therapist at the click of a button and you can text them, which is amazing because I'm a texter. Please don't ever call me. Ever. Never. And it can help you fit therapy into your busy life. You can switch therapists at any time. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of experts expertise. Talk it out with Better Help. Our listeners get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com TDD that's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.com TDD.

[Jade]

So then, you know, not really any communication with Dr. Bass until our scheduled C section day, which everything went really as. As good as planned. I did feel some type of way, I guess, so, like the C section had been performed, and I'm laying there cut open on the table while, you know, I hear my baby crying and Dr. Bass is holding my baby and Sarah's taking a picture of them together. And I hear Dr. Bass say, oh, that's cute. Send that to me. And that's when they first exchanged numbers, you know, over my blade open that just delivered.

[Mackenzie]

Wow.

[Jade]

So that was kind of weird, but at the same time, I didn't think much of it because our son also had to go to the nicu. And so, like, I wasn't able to hold him. There were people, like, around trying to figure out what was going on.

[Mackenzie]

So that must have been so scary for you, like, just a lot going on at one time.

[Jade]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Hannah]

Yeah. And your priorities are definitely like that.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Thinking about.

[Jade]

Yeah, a hundred percent.

[Hannah]

Anything.

[Jade]

A hundred percent. And so we went to our room. Fun. Was in the NICU for two days. And then Once we finally got him. It's funny because throughout the hospital stay, it was probably what, four days total. Sarah was posting Instagram reels of me, like, doing different pregnancy things. And it's just another one of those things where, you know, like she didn't really post me normally or she didn't really post videos of me. Like it was out of character behavior because she wanted Dr. Bass to see her post or whatever or comment on her.

[Hannah]

Totally.

[Mackenzie]

Wow. Okay.

[Jade]

It was, it was interesting. And she did. She commented on everyone or like swiped up and had a conversation on every one of them.

[Hannah]

So in the moment though, so we know in hindsight, but how did you feel in the moment when she started posting a video of you?

[Jade]

Yeah, I knew when we were in the hospital, I was like, oh, she really wants to get her attention. And I honestly thought. I don't know, I feel like I had a gut feeling, but I just had this thought process in my head that like, we just had a baby together. She would never. I trusted her because the year, year long pregnancy that we had, we had the best, most stable year that we've had so far. I trusted her with everything. I really did. I did not think that there was literally a single possible way that anything would have happened to our family. So in the hospital, I will say that Sarah was very attentive. And Sarah is always there if you need something. Has always, always been there if you need something. It's always like the emotional support that's been a little lacking or at least after that honeymoon phase. Right. So in the hospital, it felt very emotionally distant, I would say. And I, in the moment, didn't really think much of it. And by emotionally distant, I just mean, like, Sarah was doing all the things in terms of like taking care of the baby or me if I needed something. But like there wasn't a lot of affection. We didn't even get a picture of all three of us together. Like me, the baby and Sarah. We don't have a family picture. Yeah, we don't have. There's no pictures of us together in the hospital having our baby. And then when we got home, it was kind of similar in that it's. It almost felt like they, they like needed space after being in the hospital for so long. And I get it. Like, Sarah's very antsy, can't sit still for long, is an active person, got to go and do. And like, as soon as we got home, I think she went to cut the grass or something. But it was, I mean, it was hard because I definitely felt, like, emotionally alone at home too. Like, it felt like, okay, now that we're at home, you didn't really have to take care of me anymore. Like, I remember at nighttime we put the bassinet on Farah's side of the bed because I had a C section, and I couldn't really get up and down out of the bed very easily. But I even said, hey, I'll take the night shift. I have to nurse anyways, so just wake him up and hand them to me. And that was what it was like. He woke up, she rolled over, handed him to me, and went back to sleep. And that continued throughout. I mean, really throughout the entire time. Which I didn't have a problem with it because I volunteered, but it was just very. I don't know, I. You felt. I felt alone, and I didn't really know it at the time. Yeah. So fast forward. There was one time where I was having some excruciating pain in my C section or my stomach area, and Sarah actually called, like, the non emergency or the doctor's phone number or something to be like, hey, like, I don't know what's going on? And it was kind of scary just because they couldn't stand or move for, like, 30 minutes. But then it finally went away. I guess it was gas. But Dr. Bass actually called Sarah's personal phone number to be like, hey, I saw this report come through. Just wanted to check in and make sure everything was okay. And I was like, I don't, like, weird. But I thought of it as like, oh, she really cares about her patients, that she's reaching out.

[Hannah]

So.

[Mackenzie]

And she's been. She's okay, I guess. She's friendly to us. This is fine.

[Hannah]

Yeah, I don't think that's.

[Jade]

Yeah. So then we have our first postpartum visit where we go in and, you know, of course, I express how I'm, like, kind of having the baby blues and very emotional, and I'm just kind of sad, and I'm scared that the baby's gonna drive a wedge between me and my wife and.

[Mackenzie]

Valid. Valid.

[Jade]

Yeah. And Dr. Bass looks at me and my wife and says, you need to give Jade a lot more love than affection TLC right now, because, you know, without her, your baby wouldn't be here. And so I was like, yeah, that's gonna do it. But then they also, at the end of that appointment, they started. And I wasn't a part of this conversation. It was another one of those things that I just went along with, I think Sarah initiated it in this appointment about us finally hanging out. And so they're like, yeah, we need to schedule a date or a time to hang out. And I think it was just like a yeah, yeah, we need to get to it type thing a couple days later. And it's funny because I still have the picture on my phone where Sarah's holding our newborn, and her phone is open, and she's texting somebody. And it's funny because if you scroll in or zoom in on the picture big enough, you can see it to Dr. Bass. And it says, hey, girl crush, when are we gonna figure out the date to get together? And, yeah, I didn't think anything of girl crush, but.

[Hannah]

Well, it sounds like you already knew she had a girl crush. Like. Yeah. And there's a world in which there's a. Where I could picture me and my current boyfriend being like, I have a crush on our doctor. Like, and there's a world in which you could both be in on it in a healthy way.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

But it's, like, where it was at.

[Jade]

First, maybe, like, thinking that it was a friend, not I didn't actually have a crush, maybe. I'm saying, like, we both were friends, and we were in the same, like, boat of, hey, we want to be like person.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

So they started texting and figuring out plans, and it was Fourth of July weekend. Dr. Bass came over, had dinner. We all had dinner together. She made homemade lasagna, and it was great. It was delicious. We had fun. We played jackbox on tv. And at this point, their relationship was making me feel a little weird, but I was still really in this headspace of maybe she has a little crush, but it's my wife and my doctor, so there's not really anything to actually be nervous about. So after the fourth of July, that is when they started communicating more, and it was more so, like, I don't know, like, getting to know each other, friendly type thing. And I remember mentioning at one point, I was like, you guys are talking a lot. Like, kind of. Kind of weird how much you guys are talking. And she's like, oh, not just making a new friend. And I just brushed it off. It was what it was.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah. At this point, where are you in your postpartum depression? Like, how are you feeling as far as, you know? You just had this baby, and.

[Jade]

Yeah, so I struggled a little bit more with this one than with my first child. I don't know why. I don't really know if there's ever any rhyme or reason, but I know during my second, first, and second appointments. Like, it was something I talked about with Dr. Bass. And we discussed adjusting my medication. I know Sarah even advocated for that at one time, too, because of, like, the moods that I'd been having at home. I know she even called one of my close friends to come and spend time with me one day, just saying that I needed somebody just because I was struggling with my emotions. And Dr. Bass even charted in my medical records that I was having, like, a depressive disorder or something. So I don't know. I was struggling. I was going through it. I remember telling both of them when we were having dinner at my house that, like, sometimes I would have those weird. Like, not like that I wanted to, but, like, those weird visual visions of me, like, just dropping my baby on the floor or something.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah. Postpartum, you fear that your baby is gonna be injured or hurt. You're terrified.

[Jade]

Yeah. And like I said, it's not that. Like I was saying, thinking I wanted it to happen, but I just kept seeing it happen. It was difficult. I cried a lot at home, just randomly. And when it would happen with Sarah, they would just be like, you just. Are you just struggling? You're just having a rough time? And I'd say, yeah. And I think a lot of times I just wanted to be held, But I don't know. It was manageable for the most part.

[Hannah]

Was Sarah supportive?

[Jade]

I think as much as Sarah could be supportive, but at the same time, her getting closer to Dr. Bass was starting to make me feel more and more uneasy. So me and Sarah had a conversation about how, like, you guys are texting all throughout the day, like, what are your hopes and dreams? They're sending pictures of their fam or What? At least Dr. Bass was sending, like, family pictures and when she was a little girl. And, like, they're really getting to know each other thoroughly. I think Sarah had asked me a question or talked about something them and she and Dr. Bass were talking about. And so I was like, well, let me see. And so I was, like, reading their conversation in the text messages, and I'm telling you, like, from sun up till sundown. And if Dr. Bass didn't answer in a certain amount of time, Sarah was then another message. They're, like, not letting the conversation go. And there was one message that just really got me that I think kind of ticked me over and made me feel some type of way, is when Sarah said, I'm addicted to talking to you. Or you're addicted to talking. Addicting to talk to something like that. And I was like, hey, this is weird. Like, this makes me feel uncomfortable. And so this is when we had the conversation where I was like, what is it about her? Like, what? I don't think that you like her like her, but you clearly have something for her. Like, you really want to be talking to her. So what is it? And she. I think she just told me. She was like, I don't know, she's a doctor and she wants to be our friend. It's cool. Or something. Was just pinning it as just being friendship. And I was like, okay, well, makes me really uncomfortable. And so I need you to, like, tone it down, I think.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Yeah. And our first compromise was she was like, okay, I'll pull back. And she doesn't text me back. I won't text again. Or I won't, like, be so obsessed with it, that type of thing. Because I talked about how the addicted comment hurt me. And she was like, you're right. I could have seen that being upsetting if I saw that for you. And I was like, I know how you talk to your other friend. You don't. You rarely talk to your other friend. And this is definitely not how you talk to them. So, like, weird. And so we agreed on her pulling back. Well, then we had dinner that next night. And then it just. I don't know, it's little things that you kind of think that you're making too much out of something in the moment, but looking back on it.

[Mackenzie]

Yes. You feel like you're being dramatic and.

[Jade]

You'Re like, yeah, you feel like you're being dramatic. So after dinner, we were gonna go get ice cream, and Dr. Bass was like, no, I don't want to. And instead of like, maintaining our three way text message that we've had, Sarah sent a picture of my older son eating ice cream, like, to just Dr. Bass and was like, oh, you missed out on the ice cream. And I'm like, that just was unnecessary, you know? Like, I texted in the three way message and was like, thanks for dinner. Like, keep cheapening in the message. But so. And also at night. Sorry, really quick.

[Hannah]

Dr. Bass is single, right?

[Jade]

Yes. Okay.

[Hannah]

Just making sure.

[Jade]

Yeah. They gave us some details about their singleness and their sex life during a dinner that we had. So, yes, they are single and mingling, if you will. But that night I went through my partner's sewn. And this is actually. This was, like, bad on my part because we had the conversation after I looked at when she handed me her phone that weekend before the dinner and Was like, you know, you can read all of her messages or whatever. She was like, hey, we need to stop going through each other's phones. And so we made a pact, not a pact, but like an agreement that we were going to work on our trust and we weren't going to go through each other's phones. I was going to trust her to pull back on her communication. Whatever, whatever. But I knew I didn't. I didn't trust her. So I went through her phone and I saw there was a new feature that came out on the iPhone that she didn't know about yet, where you can see messages that you deleted. You know how you can do that now? You can like see recently in the little folder.

[Hannah]

How do you do that? Tell the people. Let's go through the how to.

[Jade]

Yes. So if you click on your messages, if you go to edit in the top left hand corner.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, show recently deleted.

[Jade]

Okay. Yeah, there's a show recently deleted. And it shows you all the messages you've recently deleted unless you delete the recently deleted. But she didn't know about it yet, so she didn't delete the recently.

[Mackenzie]

That's new. That's not a new update, right?

[Jade]

Not new, new. It was like within last year, I think.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, you know, I make a lot of people know about that.

[Hannah]

We'll make a little video with the screen recording and just be like, hey, just in case y'.

[Jade]

All. There you go.

[Hannah]

Remember how to do that?

[Jade]

Yeah, it's a good one. But because she didn't know about it, I was like, yes. But I saw some deleted messages from her and Dr. Back and it was nothing bad, but it was her deleting the frequency of them talking so that I couldn't see that she was not pulling back at all. You know, like she was still actively trying to get her attention. And like. Yeah, so I didn't play anything in the middle of the night, obviously. I actually, I think I texted her. I was like, look, we need to have a conversation. So when we woke up the next day, we had a conversation about it. And this was where things kind of went downhill because she felt like I was trying to control her friendship. So instead of the fight being about her and Dr. Bass, it became about.

[Mackenzie]

Me being too controlling.

[Jade]

So this is the week of my birthday. And that Tuesday night we had dinner at my parents house for my birthday. And mind you, Sarah was sober and she started drinking that night at my birthday randomly was just like, oh, I want to drink. And was texting Dr. Bass. I'm so drunk, I don't know what's in this. Blah, blah, blah. And that very night, she told me that she had to go shopping for my birthday present the day before my birthday. And she was going to ask Dr. Bass to come with her. And I said, hey, that makes me really uncomfortable. I don't want you guys hanging out. She was like, well, I already asked her. And I was like, okay, so unask her. Cancel it. Tell her you don't need her to come. And she was like, no, that'd be rude. And I was like, no. And so I think I felt that we came to an agreement. But the day before my birthday comes and she goes out to shop for my birthday present and text me. And she's like, hey, by the way, Dr. Bass is coming to meet me. And I was like, are you serious? She told me. She was like, you know, it's not going to be long. It'll be really quick. And then I'm going to come home for dinner. And they end up shopping for a little bit, going out to dinner, and then going back to Dr. Bass's apartment.

[Hannah]

Are you kidding me?

[Jade]

No. We share each other's location. So of course, like, I'm watching her this whole time. You're gonna be home three hours ago. Granted, she wasn't at her apartment very long. And when she came home, she was like, oh, she was giving us cookies. She was giving baked cookies for us for your birthday. And I was like, I don't really care. Like I told you, it may be uncomfortable. And you did all this. And meanwhile, I'm still postpartum and taking care of this newborn baby while she is out doing all of this. Anyways, so the next day was my birthday, and she was like, we're not talking about this. It's your birthday. We're gonna have a good day. Mind you, I'm stewing because of course I'm still mad. I don't wanna have a fake good day.

[Hannah]

If I wanted to fight on my birthday, I'd be like, it's my birthday. We're fighting.

[Jade]

Right? Right, Right. So I don't know, my birthday was kind of weird. I think we tried to fake and play nice. And then throughout the weekend, it was kind of weird too. And it wasn't until the next week that we just had spent the entire weekend fighting about it. Or just kind of passive aggressive fighting about it. Not really coming to an agreement or compromise. Either way, I was standing strong and not wanting the friendship to be present right now because it was interfering with our Marriage. She was standing strong and thinking that I was controlling. And so finally one morning we were talking about it, and I was like, do we need to postpone the actual wedding ceremony? And she was like, how could you say that? You said we'd. We'd always make it. You said you'd never leave me. Like, started kind of freaking out in text messages. It was early and she was at work. And then she was like, okay, I'll talk to her. And this is the first time that she had said her first name. We had always called her Dr. Bass. And she said, I'll talk to first name. And I was like, okay, wow.

[Mackenzie]

We're on a first name basis. Okay, this is more and more.

[Jade]

Yeah. And she was like, I'll take care of it. I'll talk to her. And I was like, okay, so how are we going to do this? And she was like, no, no, you shouldn't be there. You shouldn't be involved. That would just be so rude and unfair to her. We don't want to attack her. Yeah, she said, we don't want to seem like we were attacking her. She was going to hit.

[Hannah]

All right. Isn't she your doctor, though? Yeah, that's.

[Mackenzie]

And as someone who's. Who's gone through or is going through this post partum, and now you have this person you're supposed to trust, your doctor, who's. Now you're like, ah, she's stepping on toes. And it kind of feels weird. Like, that must have been horrible.

[Jade]

Yeah, I mean, it definitely was very uncomfortable. So that evening, when she should have been coming home for work, she texted me and she was like, all right, I'm heading to dinner with Dr. Bath now. And I was like, oh, you're going to dinner? And she was like, well, how else am I supposed to talk to her? And I was like, I didn't know conversation needed dinner. Like, you could have talked to her on the phone. Right.

[Mackenzie]

Right here in front of me or with me.

[Hannah]

It sounds like you're breaking up with her.

[Jade]

Yeah. So they went to dinner and it again lasted much longer than she told me it would have. And she came home like 11 o' clock at night. Mind you, this whole time I'm postpartum, taking care of my kids by myself. The baby that you wanted to have, I'm taking care of by myself with my other kid. Like, anyways, comes home and is like, I just have a lot to process. We talked about a lot of things, and I just don't know if I can really talk with you about it now. She just kind of put into perspective a lot of things. It sounded like she was given some marital advice. It was not a, hey, we're going to step away from the friendship right now because it's interfering with our marriage. Like, I think Sarah painted a larger picture of how unhappy she was, how unhealthy our marriage was, how she felt this and that, that I was not even let into. But I think they had this conversation because she ended up telling me that Dr. Bass was like, well, you just need to figure out what. What you really want. And I was like, what? So it was that night, it was a Monday night, that she was like, I'm gonna sleep on the couch, and I'm gonna think about all this, and we can talk later. And so I'm having a bawling breakdown at this point, and I'm, like, telling her, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. I'm too much. I don't know how to not be too much.

[Mackenzie]

I don't like that.

[Jade]

Yeah, I mean, it sucks because I. I mean, I felt like at that point that, like, things were ending, but.

[Mackenzie]

No, I'm so sorry. That is the worst. Especially going through, like, postpartum. I. I'm so sorry.

[Jade]

Well, I mean, the funny thing is, she did what she always done does or did and told me, no, you're not too much. I don't want you to change anything about you to change. So, like, I felt like nothing was. I don't know. I was reassured.

[Hannah]

What are you supposed to do?

[Jade]

I was like, I feel like I'm losing you. And she was like, I'm not going anywhere. Nothing's happening. I just need some time. I need some space. And so I gave her her space, and she slept on the couch for a week. And actually, that next day, that Tuesday, I texted Dr. Bastum of like, hey, I know things are kind of weird right now, and I know Sarah wanted to talk to you one on one so you didn't feel like you were being attacked or anything. But I just wanted to say if you and I wanted to talk at all and clear the air, I'm more than happy to that. Ultimately, I want you to know that you didn't do anything wrong, and we love everything you've done for our family. And she said, hey, thanks for reaching out. I'm sorry y' all are struggling. I just think it's best that I remove myself from the situation so I don't make anything worse.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, okay.

[Hannah]

Did you like that, or did you also Feel, I would imagine, because you're obgyn, you're supposed to be connected.

[Mackenzie]

I feel like something else is going on then, because that's a little dramatic, like a little that's.

[Hannah]

Or did you feel like you lost your doc, like, your resources, your doctor? I don't know.

[Jade]

I think I did at that point. I mean, I thought that. I don't know, I thought that, like, she was still my doctor and things were gonna be fine, and we had all agreed that we're just not gonna be friends.

[Hannah]

Okay.

[Jade]

Naively, she said she's gonna step away. My partner said that she took care of it and she just needed space to think about things, whatever. But, you know, things were definitely tense the next couple of days. So time goes by. Me and Sarah have the conversation where we agree to postpone our wedding ceremony because we couldn't get our shit together. But also because our son did, in fact, have to have open heart surgery, and it was gonna have to be a month after our wedding ceremony. So we just thought that we would, you know, kind of just make everything as stress free as possible.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, my God. How scary was that?

[Jade]

Oh, it's terrifying. You know, you're. How can you even imagine, like a child, a baby, being.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, my God.

[Jade]

Open? Throughout the week, it was kind of weird. Family had reached out to me too, because they were let into what was going on. Obviously, we had to tell people that the wedding was canceled. And so everybody was kind of like, just confused, like, what the heck is going on? Like, what's happening? And so I didn't really give details. I just told Sarah's dad, she's not talking to me right now. I don't really know what's going on. And so he ended up meeting up with her for dinner one night and was telling her, like, you're either going crazy, you're having a mental breakdown, or you're fucking somebody else. And he told me that. And I was like, well, I don't think so. But, like, I don't know, a couple different people were trying to talk to her and be like, hey, what is going on right now?

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, like what?

[Jade]

She wasn't talking to me. What the f. Yeah. And so, like, a week goes by where she's sleeping on the couch, we're not talking. And finally that Saturday morning, I told her, like, I had scheduled myself a spa day. Cause I was going through the ringer, and she was like, okay, well, I'd like to talk when you get back home. And I was like, okay, cool. And in my Head. This whole day I'm thinking, all right, this is the day that we're gonna fix it all. We're gonna make it better. Everything's gonna be okay. And I get home and it was probably like 8pm and oh no. Oh no. Yeah. She's holding the baby on the bed and my 4 year old bouncing around the room just because he's so excited. And I sit down and I'm waiting for her to be like. Like, I don't know if I expected her to say I'm sorry or what, but you know, she says, I love you, but I'm not in love with you anymore. And I just kind of like lost my. I didn't react at first. I was like, what do you mean? And I guess she kind of explained it, started saying that I was suffocating her and she felt like I was mothering her and she had no space and she has no hobbies and she doesn't do anything by herself and we have no trust and I don't know all the things that were bad about our relationship. And I was like, okay, so what can we do together? I was like, we can work on this together. We are married. We can work on it together. And she was like, that's just not what I want right now. I want to separate. I want to go work on myself. You go work on yourself and then hopefully we come back together. And I was like, do we, do we see other people? And she's like, no, that would just be putting a band aid on things. And I don't know what happened, but something just clicked in me and like, my fight or FL response just like skyrocketed. And I get up and I start pacing around and like hyperventilating. I'm like, I don't want to be a single parent. I don't. I don't want to do this alone.

[Mackenzie]

All the fears come rushing in and.

[Jade]

She'S telling me, you're not going to be a single parent. I'm not going anywhere. I'm not. And I'm like, what do you mean? Because you're. I'm so confused. And so that's when, I don't know, we had a big blow up fight. I ended up leaving that night, taking my kids to my sister's house with me. And Sarah did whatever, I don't know, I called her mom to go comfort her because she started bawling, crying too at some point and ran off into the garage to cry by herself. But the weird thing is as soon as, as soon as we had our big blow up fight, I'm driving with my kids to my sister south, and she changes her Facebook profile picture and revokes her location from me. And I'm like, dude, how are you even thinking about that right now? Like, I don't.

[Mackenzie]

She was pulling away. Like, she's clearly trying to make a.

[Hannah]

Line of statement to you.

[Jade]

There is clearly ulterior motive, but sure. So then fast forward to Monday. That was on Saturday. Fast forward to Monday. I mean, we talked about, like, obviously we'd still both live in the house together. We'd parent together. We just would have our space. We'd be separated or whatever. And I had her family telling me, mainly her mom telling me and her sister like, she's not going anywhere. She doesn't want to end the marriage. She loves you. She's just stressed. Maybe she's got postpartum herself. She just needs space, blah, blah, blah. And I'm like, okay, okay, I'm going to be the best space giver I can be. And so I come home from picking up my son on Monday, which normally it was great. She had been picking and picking up my older son because I was caring for the newborn at home and still, you know, postpartum recovering. I was about a month and a half postpartum at this point. But she had asked me if I could go get him that day. And I was like, yeah, sure. I come home and she had gotten a haircut. Sarah had a. An undercut, a nice undercut haircut. And she was growing it out for the wedding. So it was like probably like to her shoulder or something. And I got home and she had it freshly cut. And I guess what was kind of significant about that is one, she was growing it out for the wedding. Clearly this is like full sign that the wedding is off for good. Two, there was an appointment with Dr. Bass one time where we were talking about their haircut. And. Cause she had it like, kind of scraggly. And they got on the topic of it somehow. And she showed her a picture of what her undercut normally looked like. And Dr. Bass was like, oh, yeah, that's hot. And so, like, I had those two images flashing through my mind. And so I walk in with the kids and I'm like doing nighttime dinner and getting ready for bath time. And Sarah's on her computer doing work or something. And I'm like, hey, do you want to give the baby a bottle? And she's like, oh, no, I got to take care of some work first. And then she Gets a phone call and leaves the house. Hop on the phone call.

[Mackenzie]

Okay.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Leaves the house, like, drives away or just goes outside.

[Jade]

She goes either outside or into the garage. But she's on the phone call for, like, 30 minutes. And I'm upstairs, and it's like 9:00 clock at this point. And we did this for a while, like, making sure that she had opportunities to feed a bottle to the baby. Because I was nursing, she couldn't nurse. Like, we tried to make sure that she got equal feeding time. And so I had called her and was like, hey, do you want to come feed him? Like, you go to bed. And she texted me, and she was like, I'm on the phone. And I was like, okay. So I put the boys to bed, and then she comes upstairs, and it's like, I'm just really angry. I can't even hold the baby. I can't be here. I'm not getting the space I need. I just need to get away. I'm going to go stay at my co worker's house. And I knew. I think I knew she was lying. And then she told me. She was like, you know, if my parents ask me why my location's not on, and we didn't have each other's location at this point, you know, my parents don't have my location. So if they ask you that, it's because I don't want them to think I'm doing drugs and creating court or something because, like, I guess this co worker lives somewhere sketchy.

[Hannah]

What?

[Jade]

Okay. And, like, just trying to kind of laying it on thick. So I was like, okay, you're not going to your co worker's house. I know you're going to Dr. Bass's house. But I didn't say anything. I didn't. I was just like, like, okay, you got to do what you got to do. And I kind of felt like a shift in me because, like, old me, old us, I'd have been begging and pleading, like, please don't go. Like, don't, please. But I just let it happen. Let it play out. And so then I was like, well, I'm gonna call my mother over here to stay with me. And she was like, why? And I was like, because I'm freshly postpartum and I have two kids to take care of, and I'd like, help. And I'm also very, like, distraught right now because my marriage is crumbling. So, like, any help, I need support. And so when I called my mom, of course I'm crying and venting to Her. And she's like, I'm gonna go out there and look. And so she drove out to Dr. Bash's apartment complex and sent me a picture of Sarah's truck there in the parking lot.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, yeah.

[Jade]

Oh, boy. Yeah. And so I think one of the things in looking back on it, like, I wouldn't have done before I had called Sarah's dad and Farrah's mom, and I basically was like, you guys lied to me. You said that she wasn't going anywhere. Well, guess where she is. And so, like, it became messy because I got people involved. And they both hopped in their car together and drove out to the apartment complex to try and confront her and, like, pull her out of the house. No, it was a gated apartment complex. Oh. It's funny because Sarah's mom was trying. I guess the dad stopped her, but she, like, had a tube of lipstick and hopped out of the car to write liar on Sarah's truck. And I was like, no.

[Hannah]

Sarah's mom.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Mackenzie]

Wow.

[Hannah]

We talk about this sometimes because a lot of people come on and talk about their dogfish's family being totally in on it or not confronting them. And then all of our guests, I would do.

[Mackenzie]

I did not raise you like this.

[Hannah]

Okay, so everybody's now at this apartment complex, essentially.

[Jade]

Well, so mom and dad are there, but they couldn't get in. It's a gated community. My mom is on the way back to me because I'm obviously in shambles. And so I tried to call Sarah. She didn't answer. This was like 1am at this point. And so I just sent her the picture my mom sent me of the truck in the parking lot and went to sleep. Well, I don't even think I slept that night. But the next morning, or it was around 4am and all she said was, yes, question marked.

[Mackenzie]

Oh, okay, thanks. Yeah.

[Jade]

Rude.

[Mackenzie]

Wow.

[Jade]

And so then she tried to call me a little bit that morning. I didn't answer, but. So that whole day I spent with my sister packing up every item of Sarah's in the house and putting it neatly packaged on the front porch. And. Yeah, I guess that's where it started. The whole separation of everything started. She came home that day, or. Well, she asked to come home that day to get her stuff. And we tried to have a little conversation about what it's gonna look like moving forward, but it got nasty from there. So.

[Hannah]

So can you just clarify, like, the moment where you were like, I'm done and I'm packing up her stuff. What was that?

[Mackenzie]

For you? Yes.

[Jade]

So it was when I was on the phone, and I remember it, I was pacing back and forth in my hallway and my house that I loved, that I was building this family in. And I just kind of, like, felt it all crumble at once because I was on the phone with my sister because my mom was texting her while she was at the apartment. And I remember my sister just, like, the seriousness in her voice. My mom was trying to call me and I was like, no, I want to stay on the phone with you. And she was like, no, you need to answer. And so I answered my mom and she said, she's here. And I don't know, I still felt hopeful, like, naively hopeful of, like, okay. She said they were just friends. Maybe she just needed a friend. She just needed an outlet. She was stressed, everything. So I don't know. It's like. I think it was one. A realization that my. My gut was right the entire time because I had these gut feelings from.

[Mackenzie]

But is that satisfying? Is it satisfying for you to know?

[Jade]

Ah.

[Mackenzie]

Like, even though, like, something shitty happens to you, you're like, ah. But I was right. Like, there's something satisfying about that, right?

[Jade]

It is. But then there's also, like, the much more satisfying part of God. Ignorance is bliss. And I wish I didn't know anything.

[Mackenzie]

Yes, I get that too, 100%.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

You didn't want, right?

[Jade]

No, I didn't. I really didn't. Because I kept denying it, you know, the next couple days after, and my sisters tell me, like, trying to beat it into my head that I was so stupid. Because of course, when I saw Sarah that next day, she was like, I know that it looks bad, but that's why I didn't tell you where I was going, because you would think that it was something that it wasn't. And I was like, okay.

[Mackenzie]

She said, it's just a friend.

[Jade]

Like, yeah. The day after, I was still in denial. I mean, days after, I was kind of in denial. But obviously we did, you know, part ways. I told her she had to get out of the house, and we had conversation about what's gonna happen with the kids and with the house and everything. Nothing finalized, but we just had words about what was gonna happen. And I mean, kind of some not great words, you know, she told me, she was like, you can't expect me to pay child support when both of those kids aren't even biologically mine.

[Hannah]

I was gonna ask that. Did she use any of that? How did you navigate that?

[Jade]

So, I mean, she Obviously has since said, that's not how she meant it. She meant, like, she doesn't stand a chance in court when I'm not biologically hers. And I was like, but that's not what you said. And so, I don't know. She doesn't pay child support, I'll tell you that much. But. So after I kicked her out, she couldn't stay with the doctor anymore. Her parents didn't want her to stay with her. She didn't want to stay with her parents. So she came back, and I was like, I'm not living in this house with you to gaslight me. So she would come up to me and try and rub my arms and hug me and be like, your mom says, you're not doing okay. I just want to make sure you're okay. And, like, just play games that I didn't really want to play. I mean, of course, she came back a couple times to try to be like, I want my family back. And I fell for it the first time. And the second time.

[Hannah]

Wait, what happened?

[Jade]

So it was probably two weeks after everything happened. And it's funny because, like, I had known that she was with Dr. Bass still in this timeframe. I guess I didn't know for certain, but there was one weekend where she was going to a coworker's birthday trip, and something in my gut just knew. I was like, oh, I bet they're going together. And so I was crying on my best friend's couch with a newborn and my other kid playing at their house while she's partying it up at a casino. And so it was probably the following week where she came back over to the house to come and see the kids. And she was begging me to let her stay the night. And I didn't understand why, but she just kept begging, just please let me spend the night. This is my home, too. I have nowhere to go. And I'm like, go, stay with where you've been staying. I forget how exactly it happened, but we ended up talking about everything that night, and she confessed a lot to me. You know, she told me that she slept with the doctor, told me when she first realized.

[Hannah]

Oh, so this is your first time getting confirmation?

[Jade]

Yep.

[Hannah]

Oh, and what did she say? What was the details of that?

[Jade]

I asked her, like, you know, what happened, and she just confessed, you know, and said that they did sleep together. And I asked her if she went up to the casino with her, and she said yes. And like I said, this whole time, I was kind of in denial and convincing myself that they were just friends. But deep down, I think I knew the truth the whole time. So when she confessed, I wasn't surprised. And it's so funny, because this entire time I'm thinking in my head, okay, I'm going to get all the dirt that I need to. To use against her. And so I'm calm, I'm composed, I'm not freaking out, I'm not crying. I'm just reconfirming everything that I already knew. And she looks at me at one point and she's like, I don't understand why you're not really reacting. It's kind of scaring me. And I was like, I don't. I don't know. I just. I'm just. We're having a conversation.

[Hannah]

You're numb to it at that point, too.

[Mackenzie]

Did she tell you she was expecting it?

[Hannah]

Yeah. Yeah, she probably wanted it. I'm curious. So can you tell me when are you somebody that asks for details? Because my first gut as you're telling me this is like, yeah. When did you sleep together?

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

At what time exactly? And what was exchanged? Oh, yeah.

[Jade]

I asked for very gritty details. And of course she was like, you don't need to know that. I don't want to hurt you anymore. But I got the details. At least I think I got all the. I'll never know if I.

[Hannah]

Well, that's the thing. What did she tell you?

[Jade]

So she told me, if you want to share. Yeah, she told me the night. I mean, she still maintains that the first night that she went over there, the night that my mom found her there, that she slept in the guest bedroom. And she said that the first night that they actually had sex was that weekend that they went up to the casino together. They came back, went to Dr. Basser's apartment, and they. I think it was just oral. She said it was just oral and, like, fingering. She said my pants never came off, nobody touched me or something.

[Hannah]

And I was like, okay, does that make it okay?

[Mackenzie]

No, I know. Yeah, that is.

[Jade]

Well, that was one of her big arguments, too, from the beginning, is she was like, okay, well, I didn't sleep in her room the night that I spent the night over there. And I was like, okay. But from the moment that you started conversating with her.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Was when you started your affair.

[Hannah]

It's almost a lot of times people are like, I'd rather you just sleep with them one time and never talk to them again. Yeah, 100% versus having this long, drawn.

[Jade]

Out, emotional affairs talking at 2am in the morning when you're sleeping on the couch and I'm upstairs in the bedroom and we're still together. Yeah, of course, I'd much rather have been physical. And I. We'd had that conversation years ago in our relationship. One, hey, if you ever get feelings for somebody else, let's be honest about it. Two, if you ever cheat on me, like, just know that the emotional affair will be much worse than a physical affair because it's the intent and the emotions behind it that matters. So after she tells me all the details of everything, then we head back downstairs for her to leave because we were upstairs. Cause the kids were upstairs and it was time. I was like, all right, you got like, you gotta go now. And she starts, like, being playful and she tries to back me up against the wall and start, like, try to kiss me and stuff. And I remember explicitly saying to her, what kind of person would I be? Or what would it say about how I feel about myself if I just let you do whatever you want right now? And she was like, I know, I know, but just wait for me. Wait for me. And I was like, wait for you? What do you mean? Like, wait for you to get it out of your system with her? And she's like, yeah. And I was like, no. So then she asked me again if she could spend the night. And I was like, look, the only way that you're spending the night tonight is if you end it with a doctor right now. And so she, like, I'm telling you, this was another one of those, like 10 minute long situations where like, we spent in the doorway standing there for 10 minutes, her, trying to figure out what she was going to do. And finally she was like, okay, okay, I'll call her. And so she called her in front of me and told her that they were going to end it. And she said she was crying and she said she was sorry, but she wanted to work on her marriage and that things were over between them. And the doctor was just very, like, coldly like, okay, so you're saying you're no longer separated, we are through, and you and your wife are back together? And Farah was like, yes. And Dr. Bass was like, okay, but what about all of our messages and our pictures? And Sarah was like, I. I'll delete it all. I'll take, like, it won't be an issue. And so she hangs up. And then she cries in my shoulder and tells me how hard that was for her. And then I watch her delete everything. And of course I See some text messages, like, I love you too, baby. I saw a picture that they took together, kissing when they were at casino. And she turned her phone away from me. At one point I was like, do you have nudes on there? And she was like, yeah. And I was like, oh, my God, you talked for like two weeks. What do you mean?

[Hannah]

And also to say I love you, I mean, this is so. What are you feeling in that moment as you're watching her delete?

[Jade]

Well, so at this point, what's funny is because at this point, I'm still thinking, like, I'm just getting ammo, you know, I'm not in the same pitch of her as like, oh, we're going to work on things, we're going to work on things. But of course that changed, you know, of course that night I was like, okay, we're going to work on things. And we talked into the early morning. And like the next morning when we woke up and she went to work, she was like, you know, I love you. It's always been you. I'm sorry. We're gonna fix it. We're gonna get it together. And so me being stupid and believing it, I'm like, sit down with my family the next day. Cause they've literally been holding me together. And I'm like, hey. So she said she wants to work on our marriage. And my sister and my mom are basically looking at me like I have five eyeballs and saying everything to me except for you're stupid. And I mean, the most supportive way possible, but basically saying what is like, the truth, but I didn't know how to accept and that, like, nothing's going to come of this. But then we were kind of texting back and forth throughout the day. I know she asked me, like, how my family was taking it, because, like, I told her I would talk to them, obviously. And I told her it was hard, you know, and that I needed her support. And she was like, I know, I'm so sorry. It's going to be hard. And then around, like 3 o' clock in the afternoon, she kind of went silent. And when it was time for her to come home from work, she just said, like, I'm on the way, we need to talk. Comes home and it's like, I can't do it. I still love her, I'm still thinking about her, and I just can't do it. And so I was like, all right, well, you gotta pack it up and get back out of the house. And that'll be what it is. So after That I am left with two kids, my marriage has fallen apart, and my OB gyn, of all people, is who my wife had an affair with. So it's kind of like I felt betrayed by both of them. My wife betrayed me, but also this doctor. And I am still postpartum, and now I have no OB GYN to go to. So I was. I was encouraged heavily by Sarah's mother to report the doctor to her practice. So I did. I reported to the practice, and the practice kind of swept it under the rug, so to speak, really. You know, they did, like, their internal investigation. It's funny, because when I spoke to the CEO about it, he straight up told me. He was like, yeah, Dr. Bass did tell me about this last week, but I was on vacation. And so I was like, hey, just pump the brakes, and we'll talk about it later. And now that you're here, I guess the only thing we have to do is to do an internal investigation. I was like, all right, so if I didn't come, were you not going to investigate? But they did their investigation, and a couple months went by. This doctor was also a shareholder in the practice. So I think it was a lot of, like, trying to protect their buddies.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, of course.

[Jade]

But ultimately, the outcome was a phone call, and they said, hey, so we need to give the doctor grace as a human being, and never having had any issues with their record or any complaints before. And so we're gonna have them do an ethics training. And then to give you peace of mind, we've told them that they can no longer be in contact with your wife until your divorce finalized.

[Hannah]

So did you know about if they were still in contact?

[Jade]

Yes, I knew that they had still been in contact, and I was very certain that they were not going to stop or had not stopped contact. So after the practice told me that, I was like, okay, so what now? I don't feel like any justice was served. So I reached out to a medical malpractice lawyer and talked with him a little bit, and he tried to help me with the practice and basically, like, edging them a little bit further of some more disciplinary action of some sort because they didn't feel like it was good enough. But he's also a medical malpractice lawyer, so he was like, and if you don't, then maybe we can come to a settlement or something for money. Which I made it very clear to him and to Sarah's family, all my family. I didn't care if I got money. It wasn't money. That I wanted out of it. I wanted the doctor at that point, really, just to be held accountable.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Hannah]

Well, she was like, your doctor during that specific part of your life should be somebody that you can trust almost completely, and you should be able to go to them. And she severed that by making you.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I mean, like, absolutely. And that's a big part of care.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, I do think that you're. If she was willing to do that, then I don't really care if she was seduced or not. Like, she would do it again to another patient.

[Mackenzie]

Right.

[Jade]

I think that one of the things that sucks the most is that I feel like there. And maybe it's because I'm not medically trained. I don't know anything about it, but it seems like there's much less emphasis on the postpartum care portion when I think that that should be a huge portion of focus with 100%. Yeah. Because it's not. And I mean, so, for example, the postpartum depression scale or survey that they use at your appointment. I lied my ass off on that thing. I didn't want documentation or record of someone saying that I was down in the dumps just because I had a baby. Like, and people are not going to be honest on those things. I don't think I verbalized how I was feeling to my doctor because I felt I could trust. Trust them. But I didn't fill out the survey appropriately, and that was used against me in court or also.

[Hannah]

But this is information that she can then go use to bolster her affair. You know, now she knows about your marriage. She knows about your sex life. She might know about your medical. Whatever it is. Like, that's information that is very private.

[Jade]

Very private. The week after everything happened, I don't know why Sarah told me this, but Sarah decided to tell me that Dr. Bass made her an appointment at the office to get an STD test because they were gonna have effect. And I was like, what? Okay, Why'd you give it?

[Hannah]

Oh, my God.

[Mackenzie]

But premeditated.

[Hannah]

Yeah. No kidding.

[Jade]

Yeah. Literally. So when the medical malpractice lawyer helped me reach out to them, they basically said, we feel like what we've done is enough, so, no, thank you. And so at that point, the malpractice lawyer was like, hey, we don't necessarily have a case legally, because what she's done isn't medical malpractice. And it's very gray because Sarah was a third party, wasn't necessarily the patient. And the legal, like, the law behind it is much More gray when it comes to a third party, it is very clear in the medical code that it's still not okay, and it's still against medical code, but in terms of law, it's. It's really gray. So he advised that I just go to the medical board. Wow. I sent a complaint to the medical board.

[Hannah]

Good.

[Jade]

So it took, I think, a month or two after I wrote the letter for someone to contact me and be like, hey, it was an investigator. And they got all the details, and it was great because it felt like I was finally being seen and taken seriously. And she even said, like, it seems like this wasn't taken seriously before. At least that's how you felt. Because at the end of my statement that I wrote, and I still wholeheartedly feel this way, is that I had an amazing support system, but there are people out there who don't. And if I didn't and I had harmed myself or something, would it have been taken more seriously? You know? And so that was kind of what the investigator honed in on. Like, we want you to know that we're taking this seriously. And so she was a delight to work with, got all the details, and it was her and myself that were called to testify at the hearing for the medical board. And then Dr. Bass and Sarah testified on behalf of Dr. Bath, which was, like, just another smack in the face. Thankfully, we didn't have to listen to each other's testimonies. I didn't want to. I didn't want to see either one of them. I didn't want to hear them. But my friends were there to support me, and they let me know all the details afterwards. And I found out that they denied, you know, things that were said in our appointments, like the pillow princess thing, the. Oh, that haircut's hot. They denied that Dr. Bass initiated the friendship. And I was there. She said it to me. She said, hey, I want to be your friend. She added me on Instagram, like, I didn't make that up. But they denied that Sarah said that I initiated the entire friendship, said that I was only reporting this because I wanted money. Sarah also said that she had been trying to leave me for years and that I was holding my kid against her. They said that we all agreed that we would be ending the patient doctor relationship. We all agreed that together and we would just be friends. That never happened. There was not once a conversation about that. But it was great because in the end, the order that came out, like, the result, the doctor got reprimanded. So they have Their license back. The license was suspended for a while when the complaint was first made because the medical board found reason for potential public harm. So they suspended her license in probably about like, a month and a half or two. So the result was a reprimand. She got her license back, and she had to do some professional course for ethics and boundaries, which I struggled at first with, wondering, is that enough? But then at the end of the day, too, I was like, you know, I didn't want her to lose her license. I didn't want to carry that guilt, because I felt guilty when I. She was terminated, which, by the way, sorry, I left that out. When I did file the medical board report and her license was suspended, she was terminated from her practice. So that felt like justice. And the order report, after the case, too, they said that they found my statement credible, and Dr. Bass is basically not. They said that she was not forthright or forthcoming with all the details about the romantic involvement of my spouse and her. And so that was kind of justice as well, because those records are public knowledge. And so no matter what they say, no matter what lies they say, that will at least always be out there as truth forever.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And so that's kind of where you gave stupid prizes. Yeah.

[Hannah]

As an investigator, Mackenzie, have you ever had to work on something like this or.

[Jade]

No.

[Hannah]

This kind of.

[Mackenzie]

Well, like a standard, like, cheating kit. Like, is she.

[Hannah]

Well, I guess, but I'm. I'm thinking specifically, like, a medical board case, because I know a lot of times it's like, insurance fraud.

[Mackenzie]

No, as a matter of fact, I really haven't. Like, I've. I've investigated, like, medical professionals in their personal lives, but none where it's been a medical professional with a patient that I know of.

[Hannah]

I'm curious what that's like.

[Mackenzie]

I would be curious, too. I'd want. Yeah, I'm definitely curious about that, because.

[Hannah]

It does sound like he said she said, or she said she said.

[Jade]

And that was kind of unfortunate, is that. And the commonwealth person that I was working with, who was. I don't know if I would call him my lawyer or what, but he was the representative of the commonwealth who I was working with or testifying for. And he did explain to me that a lot of it was he said, she said. And so the stuff that I had evidence on. So, like, pictures of Sarah's vehicle at Dr. Bass's house and phone record, that had a lot of phone records, too, which showed exactly when. Which back it up. I will say this is my hindsight or discovery Remember that time that I texted Dr. Bass and was like, hey, if you want to talk, clear the air, we can. And they're like, no, I'm going to remove myself. Called my wife, like, a couple hours later, and they had an hour and a half long conversation. And I'm like, that doesn't look like removing yourself to me.

[Mackenzie]

No.

[Jade]

And so from that moment on, they just had phone records going all hours of the day and all times. So a lot of lies, a lot of inconsistency, a lot of sneaking around. And I. I will say one thing that my friend kind of helped me see from listening to the testimonies is that. And I kind of hated her for saying it at first, but I definitely see what she means. She said she felt like, In a way, Dr. Bast was a victim as well, because she felt like Sarah probably painted a completely different picture of what our marriage or relationship was like.

[Mackenzie]

That's. I was. Okay, that's a good point. That's. I was kind of wondering that.

[Jade]

Yeah, and I believe it, too. I believe that Monday night where they went and had din together, and she was supposed to just be saying, hey, we can't be friends right now. A lot more happened. And while I think that it's very possible, I struggle with making sure that that doesn't take away the responsibility that Dr. Bass had for me as their patient.

[Hannah]

Both can be true. She can have been manipulated.

[Jade]

And also, one of the things they talked about in the medical board hearing as well is they grilled Dr. Bast on, like, what is the standard timeframe that you care for a postpartum patient? And I don't know if you guys knew this, but it's 90 days. I didn't know that I had about 60 days. And so they questioned her about that. You know, where would that have put you, time frame wise? And it was October, and this happened in August or. Yeah, late July, early August. And so they're like, so you chose to pursue a personal relationship over the care of your patient? And I was glad that that was, like, a point that was made, too, because, like I said, I just think that the postpartum period is so intricate, so delicate, and so important, because it's not just the baby. It's not just the mom. It's the mom and the baby. And the mental health, physical, emotional, medical health of everybody impacts each other. And I also think that, as two people, my wife and Dr. Bast, who have never been pregnant, carried pregnancies, experienced any of those hormones, they couldn't possibly Fully understand how intense it is. And I just think that there needs to be a lot more, I don't know, training, knowledge, research about that.

[Mackenzie]

100. I agree.

[Hannah]

I'm so glad you're talking about that.

[Jade]

Yeah, completely. I think one of the other things, too, that I had to think about is whether or not the. And don't get me wrong, I'm not saying that it was an easy let off for the doctor because apparently reprimands are very serious, but there's another part of me that wonders, like, if it were a male versus a female relationship where, like, it was a male patient, male doctor, or female patient, female doctor, if the.

[Mackenzie]

Like, the repercussions would be different.

[Hannah]

Yeah, I'm sure they would.

[Jade]

Or even if it's just male on male, I don't know. I feel like, you know, female versus female sometimes has that lack of seriousness, stigma around it. But it was very serious. Like, we. We made an oath. We. We took the oath. We were literally legally married. So I don't. That's something that I thought about. Curious about that. There was one thing brought into question when it was back at the practice level and not at the medical board yet the practice level. They were telling me, like, saying, like, we don't want to run the risk of outing Dr. Bass if she's never expressed that she's on the. I don't know, playing for the other team or. I don't know how they said it.

[Hannah]

Right.

[Jade]

But at the end of the day, like, you what. That's what you're worried about.

[Hannah]

You kind of give up your right to that privacy when you are legally doing something wrong. Like, we don't want to out a bank robber as being a robber, but if they got caught robbing the bank, they kind of lose that. That respect in a way. But I understand. That's interesting.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Yeah. I think one of the things that I wish that they would do, too, is update their medical guidelines, medical board guidelines, ethical guidelines, to outline this a little bit more clear. Because I was faced with a lot of. I've called so many lawyers because a lot of people were telling me, pursue a case, to sue the doctor, at least get some money out of it. No, it won't make you happy, but you can at least buy a house. And I'm like. Like, is that the answer? I had no idea what the answer was throughout all of this. And so I tried everything.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, like, what do you do?

[Jade]

No idea. So I called, like, 20 lawyers, and everybody's like, nah, there's no case. Here, there's. There's nothing legal. There's nothing. It's literally just alienation of affection. It's just an affair. I had some people tell me, oh, people just have affairs. That's what they do. And I'm like, that's awful.

[Hannah]

Thought you're obgyn.

[Jade]

Yeah, right. I don't know.

[Hannah]

That's crazy to me.

[Jade]

I truly think it's one of those things that I don't know. People don't know how to handle or wouldn't understand it until it happened to them, because you really just don't. I. I had my first OB GYN appointment two months ago. Since everything happened, it was a brand new office, brand new doctor. I literally was in shambles the entire time, couldn't stop crying. The poor doctor was like, oh, my God, have you never been to an OB before? Like, do you need whatever? And I was like, no, I'm sorry. I just was traumatized. And nothing you did, nothing you're going to do. I'm so sorry, but I just. Just couldn't get my together the entire time. Because you don't think about how vulnerable you are in that state when somebody's literally inside of you, and then to think of them betraying that trust that you put it. Yeah, it's just wild to think about. And it is something that I didn't even.

[Hannah]

I even right now, I didn't even think about that specifically. Like, they are physically the most intimate doctor that you might ever have.

[Mackenzie]

Yes.

[Jade]

Oh, yeah. I obviously sought therapy immediately after all this happened. And I've been doing EMDR therapy, which has been a lifesaver. I was diagnosed with PTSD and have been doing talk therapy, CBT therapy, and then also EMDR therapy. And I'm a huge advocate for EMDR therapy. And I can say that a year later, it still sucks a whole lot. Still hurts a whole lot, but a lot less than it did before. I mean, I'd say that there's some progress. I would not be anywhere near where I am right now without my family and my friends. You know, my sister's been my rock. I have a couple close friends that have been my rock. My parents let me and my two kids come back into their home. That's been an eventful time. But, I mean, I'm so grateful that it's even possible. So, I don't know. I'm both hopeful and still. What's the word? Broken, in a way.

[Hannah]

Yeah, you're healing.

[Jade]

Healing. Yeah. Yeah. I honestly think that. I don't think I'LL ever come to a point where I say, like, I'm healed, so to speak. I think that it's kind of a lifelong journey, but the next thing that I'm kind of working towards is I don't know if I'm quite ready to be at, like, forgiveness yet, but definitely working on the resentment.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Will you. I want to ask some feeling, reflection questions. But before that, can you just, like, answer the questions I know the audience is going to have? So where did the custody battle end up? What is your relationship with her today?

[Jade]

There was no real battle with the baby. Baby. We came to a pretty easy agreement on that one. I don't know how I was grateful for it, though. I know at first they tried to pursue, like, three, three, four schedule or something, and I was like, hey, no. Can we, like, at least wait until we're at least a year into breastfeeding before you take them from me three nights a week?

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, let's do that.

[Jade]

They're pretty reasonable with that. In terms of custody for my oldest, that ended. Just ended completely. There is no custody issue or battle. I have a hundred percent custody. She has nothing legal over him, so she doesn't have any legal right to him. But I still do allow him to see her because she was such a huge part of his life, and I don't feel that it's right for me to take that away from him. Ultimately, though, the reason I still let her see him. They still have a relationship. Yes. I just wanted to be able to make sure that I. I am in control of my child. He's my child, always has been my child. God, put him in my belly and had this whole situation unfold clearly showing that I'm the person who's supposed to be in charge of him. So I just wanted to make sure that that came within my vein of control as I feel like I know what's best for him.

[Mackenzie]

Good for. I like that.

[Hannah]

I know you're an amazing mom and the fact that you're also giving him the, like, relationship with his brother and.

[Jade]

Yeah, well, that was the driving thing. When I talked about it, I talk about how, like, like, baby brother will be going here these days. What do you want to do? And he's like, I want to stay with baby brother. And I'm like, okay, I understand that. You know.

[Hannah]

What about Dr. Bass and Sarah?

[Jade]

So at the medical board hearing, they did say that they were still seeing each other. They said, just as friends. Do we believe that? Probably not, but who cares?

[Mackenzie]

Who cares?

[Jade]

Exactly. At the End of the day, they deserve each other. And if it wasn't Dr. Bass, it would have been somebody else. That's what I've come to accept as well, is that, like, somebody else would have come along. I will say that, you know, of course I've been told you'll be thankful for this. You'll either one, be thankful that you were saved from further heartbreak, or two, be thankful for the break that you get from your kids. I hate when people say both of those things. I'll never say thank you. I know.

[Hannah]

I am, too.

[Jade]

I'll never say thank you, but I'm trying to see the silver linings in them.

[Mackenzie]

Like, I hate when people say, oh, your kids are going back to school. Are you so grateful?

[Hannah]

I'm like, no, wait, talk more about that. Because you both have dealt with this. Like, what are you. So I was also thinking about how your sister was in a position where she could have been, like, I told you so when she had suspicions. But it sounds like she's been very supportive. Like, what are the best ways to support somebody going through a divorce with children, with cheating, with. Whatever it is.

[Jade]

Yeah, it's so hard because there's really nothing that you're going to be able to say that's going to make anybody feel better. It took a year of people to continue telling me that, like, it wasn't me, it wasn't me. It had nothing to do with me. And I still question that sometimes. I would say the consistency of that has been the biggest thing. There have been many times where I've felt like they don't want to hear me about this anymore. They don't want to hear me cry anymore. They don't want to hear me talk about this anymore. And sure enough, every time I call, they pick up and they help me process it. And really, just having that space, sometimes it's not saying anything. Sometimes it's just being that safe space for someone to let it out and feel. My sister's like, you got to ride the wave. You got to let yourself feel it. It's okay. That thought will pass. And then what? She normally says, like, you had a bad day the other day, and guess what? You had a good day next. So this bad day will pass, too, and you'll have another good day. So it's like the being there, holding space. Holding space for someone and like, letting.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Letting you be sad.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Letting you feel everything.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

How does it feel to have to go through a hearing with a medical board, court cases about your kids while Also mourning a relationship and going through a breakup up. How do you do that? Literally, how?

[Jade]

The best advice that I've been given, mainly through therapy when trying to think about things, is you gotta take it one day at a time, literally, sometimes hours at a time, because there's no planning ahead in this. Your thought, your emotions, your heart versus your mind. It's gonna change and flip flop so many times. You're gonna hate them, love them, mourn them, wish them the worst things possible, all within the same two hours. And it's terrifying to not know how you really feel about somebody, but it's even more terrifying to realize that you never knew this person in the first place. So really just taking it hour by hour and swallowing all of the new information or the new reality that you have has been like the not easiest, but the most helpful thing for me. So to answer your overall question, how was it going through all of that? This has been the hardest thing of my entire life. Which sounds so superficial, especially for people who are starving or people who are going through much worse things in their life, but it's like the emotional trauma that you go through, your entire reality and identity, my entire identity and reality was just rocked. And trying to rebuild that back up while taking care of other people, while doing the right things, it's. It's terrifying.

[Hannah]

And also, you didn't ask to do that.

[Jade]

No, I didn't ask.

[Hannah]

The other thing, people are like, you're so strong. And you're like, I don't.

[Jade]

I don't want to be strong. Right.

[Hannah]

It's like, I don't have any interest. Yeah, I would love to just be weak and have no drama.

[Mackenzie]

Just somebody take care of me. Thank you so much for sharing, Jade. You're so. I really appreciate it. Someone's gonna relate to that and, yeah, I hope, really feel heard. So thank you for sharing this story. Yeah, of course.

[Jade]

Thank you guys for hearing me.

[Mackenzie]

She was. I. What a story. Like, I'm so curious now how often this happens with, like, doctors, medical professionals. Like, medical professionals are supposed to be someone that you trust and they have these boundaries and they take these, these, these oats and all this stuff. Like, it's hurtful.

[Hannah]

Well, I think back to being a kid and like, one of the things I remember my parents even teaching me about boundaries and, you know, unsafe adults was kind of like, nobody can touch you. Nobody can do anything unless it's your doctor and you're with mom or dad at a doctor's appointment. You know what I mean? Like, they were like, the earliest trustworthy professional human in my life that I was. That was framed that way. So then to have any kind of betrayal come from your doctor, I. It would make it really hard not only to trust in relationships, but also to trust doctors.

[Mackenzie]

Like. Yeah, I know, exactly.

[Hannah]

And that's the worst thing you want to be able. That's the person you want to be the most honest about. It's like, nobody else needs to know how many drinks you have in a week, but your doctor should know, you know?

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Mackenzie]

Yes. And I feel like being a woman to woman versus a male doctor, that obviously, you know, that begs the question, like, would this be different if it was a dude? You know, like, if this was, would he be, like, looked at, looked upon? I think people give a lot. Like, I feel like we're like, well, is it. Was it the doctor's responsibility to be loyal to this girl? No, but it is a professional responsibility, you know, and so she needs to give care to this postpartum situation to her patient, and she's not doing that. So that in itself is not okay, period.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I was. I was thinking about that when she said how the gender changes it, because I think it, like, could go a lot of different directions. Whereas the fact that it's a queer woman relationship, I get where she's like, it could be taken less seriously because of the same way that women's pain in medicine isn't taken as seriously. Like, it's just like an overall kind of subconscious. Well, maybe this is just drama versus a serious incident. And so in a way, I think.

[Mackenzie]

A lot of times that's a good point too.

[Hannah]

I think a lot of times we think, oh, this is only being taken really seriously because it's a woman, and if it was a man doing it, they'd get away with it. I kind of feel like it could be reversed where it's like, a man might have been. Come. They might have come down harder on a male doctor doing that. But we also wouldn't have. We wouldn't have been a surprised in a way. But then to say, if it was gay men versus if the man was the husband and the doctor was a woman, I do think then it would be like the woman is attacked more than the man, maybe. Who knows? What do you guys think? There's a lot of speculation on that.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, I would love to know what you guys think about that, because it's just. I'm. Yeah, I'm super curious.

[Hannah]

Can we go back to some of the signs in the beginning of the relationship in our dogfish debrief to like talk about how this came to be. I don't think.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Hannah]

Obviously this was a relationship that had really lovely moments in the love bombing stage. And then it sounds like. Do you think Sarah just does this? Like this is her pattern of getting really, really close and controlling someone until she gets bored.

[Mackenzie]

It sounds like she has a need for the control, obviously. And she, I feel like, I feel like she felt attention from the doctor.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Mackenzie]

And felt. Got excited about that. And I feel like the need like, so you have Jade who is like seeking attention. And she said like I was constantly begging for attention and affection, whatever.

[Hannah]

But first, she wasn't the beginning of pursuing. She didn't want to be with her. Which I'm sure was a wonderful challenge for Sarah.

[Mackenzie]

Right. But then when she needs all this, when someone's chasing you, you're like ill. But when someone doesn't want you, then you want to go to them. So then it's like you have this person chasing you and you're like, well, this isn't fun. And so then you have this person who's showing you attention and now you get to chase them. And I think that could be what fueled her. That and the control.

[Hannah]

And she said herself at the end, I thought the grass would be greener. Like I think there is that she has that need to see if the next best thing is better. And man, you, that's a recipe for real disaster. Especially if you're a self centered person, which it sounds like she is. I mean, even just the little thing of like spooking the sun just for fun, even though the sun doesn't like it is to me, like, yeah, it's asserting control. It's thinking it's funny when it's hurting somebody and it's not okay. And it's a sign of that behavior. No.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah. And I, it's, it's really, it's interesting when there's kids are involved too, because in a lesbian relationship where you have like only one of them is. That has given birth to this. Only one of them is experiencing the hormones, even though they both, both do the parental thing. I mean, just like in a straight relationship, however, women are typically more geared the same emotionally. And then women are men and women and men are different. So in a straight relationship it's like, well, you kind of expect that because guys are different in general. But when you have two women and only one of them are experiencing this, you know, these hormones that the other one isn't I unders. I. It seems like that could be a little tricky too.

[Hannah]

Totally. And I think that's like a pro and con where one beautiful thing about queer relationships is that you get to determine the dynamics for yourselves. There's not like a traditional gender role that you have to work either to change for you guys or to just fall right into. And that's kind of fun. And then at the same time it causes some gray area with navigating. Like the moment that she said, well, you can't expect me to pay child support because biologically they're not my children. When she was part of the process of that. The second child, the whole time, that is using it in a horrible way. I'm glad that that's not how she ended up. Well, I guess she doesn't pay child support, but it's sick. That's like a sick thing to do. Especially she wanted that child. Oh my gosh. Oh, my gosh. I'm still not over, like the fact that they were flirting in appointments and flirting.

[Mackenzie]

I just feel like if this was gonna happen, like the doctor had a responsibility professionally, medically to help her patient through. And then she could say after the 90 days or however long the care was supposed to be, say, okay, this is, you know, or even though I think Sarah had the. The loyalty aspect, like she should have been more loyal to her partner. But neither here. That's not a legal issue. The legal issue is when the doctor comes in, the doctor has a professional legal responsibility to her patient to say, hey, this is. And then take care of her for the 90 days. And then if something happens after that, then she can say, hey, I don't want to be your doctor anymore. You know, whatever. Cut it off. And then it's a personal thing and it's not a legal thing. But the doctor, I feel is. She puts me a little bit in danger, especially with postpartum and the whole mental thing. Yeah, no, absolutely.

[Hannah]

Absolutely. The way she said that is so true. In my opinion. If her family hadn't been such a good support system, there's absolutely chance to. I could see someone really having a lot of self harm issues with that.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Aftermath.

[Mackenzie]

And that's what's so dangerous about it.

[Hannah]

Anything else you want to say about postpartum? I loved how she talked about that.

[Mackenzie]

No, I'm glad that she. I'm glad that she talked about it and kind of like shined a light on it. Because when you are postpartum, there's already. Without postpartum, there's the hormones the natural hormones that come and, you know, the natural things that happen in your body. And then postpartum is just like, like an intense, like an intensified by however much it affects you version of that. And it's, you know, it can affect everyone differently. But I guess I just feel like you, you have to. It's almost like. It's almost like her going to the ER for like a gunshot wound. And we're just like flirting all willy nilly on the side, like, hey guys, like, I need help. Hey, you know what I mean? Like, your, your mental health can lead you down a path that's not great. It's physical versus mental. But you still need to fix. Like, can we focus on me for a little bit first before you go off all willy nilly with a.

[Hannah]

Well, I think the part that I loved her shining a light on is that this was a, a doctor who was a woman. She herself had not had a child. But still you would potentially assume that she would have a better understanding of what a woman goes through after giving birth. Like that postpartum care also wasn't enough. It's not so much even that the people that aren't doctors don't appreciate it. It's that her actual medical professional wasn't trained.

[Mackenzie]

Yes.

[Hannah]

In a way that recognized how much she was really potentially going through. So it does sound like there's more to be done in that department as far as training doctors. And I really want people to weigh in on that. Their own experience, if they're comfortable, if they're.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, same in medicine.

[Hannah]

I'm also curious, do you think that the consequence for Dr. Bass was sufficient? What would you have done? I'm curious what people will say.

[Mackenzie]

Me too. And I. It also, I guess I want to know what our listeners think and what our audience thinks about is do you think that having a child in a same sex relationship is. Has the same. Like the same thing happens. But let's say Sarah is a dude. Do you think it's the same or do you think there are differences? Like, what are your. What's your experience if you're in a same sex relationship?

[Hannah]

What do you mean? Like differences in terms of custody or just like feelings?

[Mackenzie]

Well, feelings, yeah, but also custody. Like if she says, hey, I'm not biological, like parent, but you've been here since the beginning. So like if a guy comes into a woman's life and they decide how, in whatever way that she's going to get pregnant, but it's not going to.

[Hannah]

I think the best way to think about this is like, if you'd used. If. If a guy didn't have the ability to have children, you know, and use a donor, and you just do.

[Mackenzie]

And he says, it's not mine.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it's like. But no, but it is, because.

[Mackenzie]

Right.

[Hannah]

And so I wouldn't have done this without you.

[Mackenzie]

Or do you feel like. No, it's two women. So it's totally different because they're wired differently and they're, you know, they're more emotional. Like, I. I guess, like, it's. This is your partner. Regardless of who it is, this is your partner that. That, you know, is trying to do this with you.

[Jade]

So.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, I was just curious.

[Hannah]

No, I think that's a good question. And I think you're right. I mean, I don't want to jump into the argument, but I'm sure people would say, well, they're more emotional. It's different. I'm like, that doesn't affect the fact that they're still in a relationship. And, like, having a kid in going through a process, like, people are different. Everybody has different personalities. And, like, personality doesn't to me.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Change the commitment that you made.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, exactly.

[Hannah]

Because, like, I know a lot of shitty straight people that we maybe have talked about before on this podcast that certainly didn't navigate it. Well, we've heard one or two.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, I know.

[Hannah]

I was.

[Mackenzie]

This was a very interesting story. So you guys let us know what you think and keep the conversation going on social media. Let us know your thoughts and feelings. And if you have any positive insight for our guest Jade, we will.

[Hannah]

We will support.

[Mackenzie]

Yeah, we will relay that. That to her. And also, if you. Yeah. If you haven't joined the Patreon yet, join the Patreon, because we like to do updates there too. So join the Patreon. And as always, if you write in your story to our email, Investigate the dating detectives podcast.com, we would love to hear your story and, you know, your. Your experience with Dogfish.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Also, if it's not like a full episode type story, but maybe you have a. A story about a doctor who, send it anyway. It wasn't romantic, but they were still betraying you somehow. Like, we might talk about that on Patreon. We do episodes there which are email submissions that might not be exactly the same topic, but still worth discussing.

[Mackenzie]

Someone's gonna relate to this story. I wanna hear it.

[Hannah]

Also, if you have a beautiful, ridiculous love story that you wanna share with me on a palate cleanser, I'll take that too. Seriously. Love love.

[Mackenzie]

Thank you guys for listening and again, thank you for sharing on our social media. Join the Patreon and as always, trust your intuition.

[Jade]

Sam.