The Dr. Gabrielle Lyon Show

Sex Therapist Explains the Science-Backed Guide to a Better Sex Life | Marianne Brandon

Release Date: November 4, 2025
Guest: Dr. Marianne Brandon (Sex Therapist, Expert in Sexual Medicine)
Host: Dr. Gabrielle Lyon

Episode Overview

In this candid and science-focused conversation, Dr. Gabrielle Lyon welcomes sex therapist Dr. Marianne Brandon to discuss evidence-based strategies for achieving a better sex life. The episode explores the true factors behind sexual satisfaction, gender differences in desire and arousal, the role of technology—including AI and VR—in modern sexuality, and the risks posed by unregulated tech to intimacy and youth. Dr. Brandon provides highly practical advice for couples, debunks common myths, and sounds an alarm about the future of human connection in the face of rapidly developing sexual technology.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Real Roots of Sexual Satisfaction

• Focus on "Who You Are," Not "What You Do"

  • Dr. Brandon discourages over-focusing on technique or touch. Satisfaction depends more on one's presence, energy, and attention in the bedroom.
  • Quote: “Becoming a better lover is about bringing your attention into your body. We call that embodiment.” — Dr. Brandon (01:36)

• Sexual Persona & Variety

  • Developing different sexual "personas" or moods (sensual, loving, intense) can keep a sex life vibrant over time.
  • Homework Suggestion: Use different music genres to experiment with movement and energy (romantic, jazzy, intense), finding what works for both partners.
  • Quote: “People learn how their body can bring a different energy into the bedroom... the chances of him engaging her are so much greater.” — Dr. Brandon (07:01)

2. Gender Differences in Sexuality

• Frequency & Desire

  • Men generally exhibit higher frequency and wider interest in most sexual behaviors (fantasy, masturbation, fetishes).
  • Only about 4% of college-aged women orgasm daily compared to 40% of college men (04:09).
  • Cultural factors play a role, but biological differences in desire and arousal are significant.
  • Quote: “Men are just more engaged sexually in all of these ways than women.” — Dr. Brandon (04:39)

• Pressure & Orgasm

  • Many women feel pressure to orgasm during partnered sex; anatomy (distance of clitoris to vagina) can make this easier or harder.
  • Quote: "The farther her clitoris is away from her vagina, the harder it’s going to be for her to have an orgasm during sex. So, it’s geography." — Dr. Brandon (20:33)

3. The Science of Female Arousal

• Erectile Tissue and Sensitivity

  • Women have extensive erectile tissue, most of it hidden under the skin, making direct stimulation more challenging than for men (10:41).
  • Quote: “Trying to touch that tissue is like if we were massaging a man who was wearing five condoms, it's not going to be as stimulating.” — Dr. Brandon (11:21)

• Importance of Build-up/Buildup and Foreplay

  • Early in a relationship, women may not need much foreplay, but arousal typically requires significant buildup as the relationship matures.
  • Touching before readiness often feels intrusive.
  • Quote: “Touch before she's ready feels intrusive. She needs a lot of buildup before touch feels pleasurable.” — Dr. Brandon (12:25)
  • Start with indirect touch (e.g., inner thighs over underwear) before moving to more direct zones.

4. Masturbation vs. Partnered Sex

• A noted trend: more masturbation, less partnered sex, with some people achieving better orgasms solo due to perfect self-knowledge (01:15, 03:24).
• Masturbation can serve as learning—experimenting with touch, sex toys, and sensations—to enhance partnered sex later (22:41).

5. Challenges for Men: Erectile Dysfunction and Libido

• Erectile Dysfunction (ED) Statistics

  • At 40, about 40% of men experience ED; at 50, it's about 50%.
  • Factors: aging, medication, sedentary lifestyle, low muscle mass (25:44, 26:03).

• Lifestyle Solutions

  • Exercise, muscle mass, and Mediterranean-style diets can mitigate ED and improve sexual function.
  • Anxiety about ED can worsen the condition—emotional management is critical.

• Sex Toys for Men

  • New waves of male sex tech (rings, vibrators, advanced, even AI-connected devices) are normalizing male pleasure experimentation (29:00–31:16).

6. Technology, Porn, and AI: An Unprecedented Sexual Shift

• AI and VR Sex

  • Revolutionary changes: Chatbot "lovers," remote-controlled sex toys, haptic suits, VR porn with synchronized sex toys (30:25, 34:07).
  • Quote: “You can buy these toys, for example, in a platform where you can actually have someone else that you don't even know in another state, use your toy.” — Dr. Brandon (30:26)

• Risks and Intimacy

  • These technologies may be intensely pleasurable (even produce oxytocin surges), but can undermine human relationships, create new dependencies, and are particularly hazardous for youth (33:41–34:23, 56:57–58:25).
  • Kids exposed as young as 12; AI lovers capable of extreme realism and emotional manipulation (34:23, 72:06).
  • Quote: "What terrifies me the most is the impact of this technology as children get ahold of it... they're getting traditional porn at age 12. That's a big deal." — Dr. Brandon (34:23)

• Gen Z and Sexual Norms

  • Huge spike in consumption of cartoon/“Hente” porn over real human content among Gen Z, with potential long-term consequences for intimacy and social skills (47:59–50:01).
  • Quote: "Their brains are wiring toward that in such a way that we can imagine they're going to find human partners really bizarre." — Dr. Brandon (50:01)

• AI Chatbot Dangers

  • Sex chatbots are available to children, completely unregulated; real reports of kids forming attachments, sending nudes, and even suicides after emotionally intense exchanges (73:37–75:15).
  • Quote: “Kids have suicided trying to meet their chatbot.” — Dr. Brandon (75:05)

7. Advice for Parents and Protecting Kids

• Start open, shame-free conversations about porn/AI before exposure (before age 12).
• Educate about fantasy vs. reality and set tech boundaries (public spaces for devices, limit tech access, consider non-smartphones) (52:26–55:36).
• Quote: "You've got to start talking about it before you want to... prepare them by saying, this is fantasy theater of sex." — Dr. Brandon (52:39)
• Parental controls help, but aren’t enough: vigilance and ongoing conversations are needed.

8. Navigating Desire Discrepancy in Couples

• Openly discuss and normalize differences in libido ("desire discrepancy").
• Develop a toolkit of sexual and sensual activities that permit intimacy and release even if one partner is less interested at times (eye contact, non-genital touch, mutual masturbation, use of modern sex toys, or even engaging “external” VR/AI stimulation together) (39:03–42:23).

9. Sex and Aging

• Declines in hormones explain some drop-offs in sex drive and function.
• Intercourse may change, but intimacy (touch, sensuality) and medical advances mean sex can still be fulfilling into old age (45:35–47:11).

Notable Quotes & Timestamps

• On Attention and Presence:
  "Becoming a better lover is about bringing your attention into your body. We call that embodiment." — Dr. Brandon (01:36)

• On Gender Differences:
  "Men are just more engaged sexually in all of these ways than women." — Dr. Brandon (04:39)

• On Female Arousal:
  "Touch before she's ready feels intrusive. She needs a lot of buildup before touch feels pleasurable." — Dr. Brandon (12:25)

• On Technology Risks:
  "What terrifies me the most is the impact of this technology as children get ahold of it... they're getting traditional porn at age 12. That's a big deal." — Dr. Brandon (34:23)

• On AI’s Intimacy Impact:
  "These [technologies] could actually, for at least some people, negatively impact their sex life ultimately if they value human relationships." — Dr. Brandon (31:36)

• On Sexual Education for Kids:
  "You've got to start talking about it before you want to... prepare them by saying, this is fantasy theater of sex." — Dr. Brandon (52:39)

• On Gen Z’s Shifting Sexual Preferences:
  “They are...398% more likely to watch Hente porn than humans having sex.” — Dr. Brandon (48:15)

• On Urgency:
  “It is time to stop avoiding. So talk about it is step one, Step two, Protect your adolescents. Tell your adolescents these are computer programs. They're not real. And they're going to say whatever they need to say to keep you coming back.” — Dr. Brandon (78:35)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:36 – Foundations of sexual satisfaction: attention, embodiment
• 04:09 – Frequency of orgasm & gender differences
• 10:41 – Female sexual anatomy: erectile tissue/clitoral details
• 12:25 – Importance of arousal, foreplay, and readiness for women
• 22:41 – Masturbation as sexual self-knowledge
• 25:44 – Erectile Dysfunction: stats, causes, lifestyle factors
• 29:00–31:16 – Male sex toys and new pleasure technology
• 34:07–36:00 – Tech’s effect on arousal, VR/AI sex
• 47:59–51:14 – Gen Z, cartoon porn, and consequences
• 52:26–55:36 – Parental advice: education, boundaries, and protection
• 72:06–77:40 – AI chatbots, risks, and dangers for youth

Memorable Moments

• "It's more challenging for her to have an orgasm just because so much of that tissue is hidden... how would I feel as a man if I was wearing five condoms?" — Dr. Brandon’s analogy (11:21)
• “Pretty sure you just solved 50% of all relationship problems right now.” — Dr. Lyon, on the step-by-step approach to building female arousal (14:57)
• Dr. Brandon’s live demonstration of an AI chatbot and the revelation that many are unregulated and open to children (71:03–74:43).
• Shocking statistics and lawsuits related to AI chatbot exchanges with minors, including suicides (75:05–76:32).

Tone

The conversation is frank, educational, and, at times, urgent—combining warm professional advice with strong warnings about technological disruptions. Both Dr. Lyon and Dr. Brandon maintain a supportive and compassionate tone, focused on practical advice, empowerment, and transparency.

Conclusion/Takeaway

Dr. Brandon urges listeners and parents to engage in proactive, shame-free conversations about sexuality, tech, and intimacy. The episode balances hopeful, practical strategies for improving sex lives at any age, with a clarion call to address the risks AI and sexual technology present to both relationships and youth. Above all: knowledge, communication, and connection are central to healthy sexuality and meaningful human relationships.