Podcast Summary: Why Navy SEALs Aren’t Scared Like Everyone Else | Rich Diviney

Podcast: The Dr. Gabrielle Lyon Show
Host: Dr. Gabrielle Lyon
Guest: Rich Diviney (Retired Navy SEAL Commander, Author of “The Attributes” and “Masters of Uncertainty”)
Date: September 16, 2025

Episode Overview

This engaging episode explores what sets Navy SEALs apart—not just physically, but mentally and emotionally—through a candid conversation with Rich Diviney, former SEAL Team Six commander and thought leader on performance under pressure. The conversation decodes elite military mindsets and translates practical tools for handling stress, uncertainty, fear, and change, applicable for anyone seeking resilience and growth in everyday life.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What Makes Navy SEALs “Not Normal”

• Compartmentalization & Calm in Chaos
  • SEALs excel at managing autonomic arousal, remaining calm under extreme stress, and compartmentalizing emotions and tasks for optimal performance.
  • “In those moments of extreme chaos and duress, we don’t get more excited, we actually get calmer.” —Rich Diviney [01:30]
  • This ability is trainable and not necessarily innate.
• Special Operations Comparison
  • SEALs, Delta Force, CIA paramilitary, Rangers, and Green Berets each have distinct mission specialties; comparisons are apples to oranges.
  • “The unique and the most special thing about Special Operations is every unit comes with a specialty.” —Rich Diviney [03:41]
• Intelligence vs. Stereotype
  • The “knuckle-dragger” stereotype is dispelled—many SEALs are highly educated and intelligent, with diverse backgrounds.
  • “Almost half of the enlisted guys in my BUDS class had college degrees...there was a rocket scientist.” —Rich Diviney [05:30]

2. The Realities of SEAL Life, Deployment & Family

• Sacrifices on the Homefront
  • Deployments involve tremendous family stress, often more for families than operators themselves.
  • “The sacrifice that our military families make is as big, if not more so, than the actual member because they’re the ones who have to sit home and hold the bag.” —Rich Diviney [11:40]
• Family Dynamics and “Team Guy” Challenges
  • Emotional connection is challenged by the SEAL lifestyle—absence is reframed as appreciation.
  • “We really hammered home this absence makes the heart grow fonder type thing…coming home was like the excitement of a kid on Christmas morning.” —Rich Diviney [15:18]
  • Empathy can be less available, but both partners evolve and adapt.
  • “I’ve become more empathetic as I’ve grown older…kids help.” —Rich Diviney [17:54]

3. Performing Under Uncertainty & Stress

• Moving Through Uncertainty
  • The skills for handling chaos and stress aren’t exclusive to SEALs—these are “human things” anyone can learn.
  • “Once you start putting science behind stuff, you start realizing this is not Navy SEAL, this is human.” —Rich Diviney [19:52]
• The “Moving Horizons” Technique
  • Break large problems into small, immediate goals (horizons) to manage stress, uncertainty, and motivation using dopamine rewards.
  • “If we pick up a horizon that’s too far, we run out. By the way, if you quit anything, it’s because you’ve run out of dopamine.” —Rich Diviney [45:03]
  • Example: During Hell Week, focus solely on getting to the next sand berm or counting five waves, not the end of the week. [41:56]

4. Mastering Fear

• Subjectivity of Fear & Courage
  • Fear is a combination of uncertainty + anxiety. Courage can only be activated in the presence of fear.
  • “Courage is impossible in the absence of fear. You do not have courage in the absence of fear. You can’t.” —Rich Diviney [72:46]
  • The amount of fear felt is subjective—an intense operation may bring less fear to a seasoned SEAL than an elementary school presentation does to a child. [72:46]

5. Overcoming Anxiety

• Reframing & Physiological Tools
  • Anxiety is “fiction”—worrying about things that haven’t happened. SEALs don’t worry about things they can't control.
  • “Anxiety is quite literally fiction. Anxiety is always about what might happen. It’s always in the future.” —Rich Diviney [48:28]
  • To address anxiety:
    • Use breathing techniques (e.g., physiological sigh) and open/soft gaze for acute stress.
    • Anchor in the present moment before identifying the next small horizon. [50:05]
  • Practice builds automaticity: Elite operators default to this without thought, but anyone can train it.

6. Mental Toughness & Growth

• Do Hard Things
  • Doing hard things (physically or mentally) stimulates brain regions linked to resilience and even longevity.
  • “Every time you do things you don’t want to do, [this brain region] grows. It's been linked to the ability to do hard things more frequently and to longevity.“ —Rich Diviney [31:22]
  • Mental growth happens outside the comfort zone—intentionally stepping beyond it is essential for discovering potential.
• Compartmentalization, Courage, & Identity
  • Top performers can quickly prioritize relevant identities (“I am…” statements) to match context and challenge.
  • “Anything we put after the words ‘I am’... we begin to behave towards it. In uncertainty, challenge and stress, we will behave toward whatever identity we are prioritizing in that moment.” —Rich Diviney [56:58]
  • Compartmentalization is a foundational attribute for success under pressure.
  • “Compartmentalization is the attribute that allows for moving horizons.” —Rich Diviney [71:41]

7. Life Beyond War: Transitions, Fulfillment, and “The Edge”

• Chasing Challenge After Service
  • The operational “high” post-military is replaced by challenging business, marriage, parenting, and new creative ventures.
  • Never settle—always maintain some dissatisfaction to keep moving forward.
  • “I always endeavor to be massively grateful but never satisfied. That's what I always want to be.” —Rich Diviney [68:20]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Family Sacrifice:
  • “The sacrifice that our military families make is as big, if not more so, than the actual member because they’re the ones who have to sit home and hold the bag.” —Rich Diviney [11:40]
• On Managing Fear:
  • “Courage is impossible in the absence of fear. You do not have courage in the absence of fear.” —Rich Diviney [72:46]
• On Anxiety:
  • “Anxiety is quite literally fiction. Anxiety is always about what might happen. It's always in the future.” —Rich Diviney [48:28]
• On Mental Training:
  • “Doing hard things because that anterior mid-cingulate cortex will actually grow… You will add to the years on your life, and you will start to gain confidence.” —Rich Diviney [76:53]
• On Motivation and Horizons:
  • “If you quit anything, it’s because you’ve run out of dopamine. You picked a horizon that’s too far.” —Rich Diviney [45:03]
• On Growth & Satisfaction:
  • “Comfort kills. I always endeavor to be massively grateful but never satisfied. That’s what I always want to be.” —Rich Diviney [68:20]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:30] — What makes Navy SEALs unique: the ability to stay calm under chaos
• [03:41] — Special operations roles and skillset distinctions
• [11:40] — The true sacrifice: families and the unseen toll of service
• [15:18] — Marriage, empathy, and evolving together under extraordinary pressure
• [19:52] — Moving through uncertainty: translating “SEAL skills” for everyone
• [41:56] — How to “move horizons” under stress (Hell Week examples)
• [45:03] — Why focusing on manageable goals is key to resilience
• [48:28] — Anxiety as fiction and how SEALs frame stress
• [50:05] — Immediate techniques for stress: open gaze, breathing, anchoring
• [56:58] — The power of consciously chosen identity in uncertainty
• [68:20] — Finding meaning after military life; pivoting to new growth
• [71:41] — The role of compartmentalization & courage for high performers
• [76:53] — Building toughness and longevity through doing hard things

Actionable Takeaways

• Practice “Moving Horizons”: Break down overwhelming tasks into short, actionable steps to stay motivated and present.
• Reframe Anxiety: Treat worries about the future as fiction; anchor yourself in the present.
• Cultivate Compartmentalization: When stressed, focus on what’s most important right now, not the big picture.
• Intentionally Step Outside Your Comfort Zone: Regularly do hard things—mentally and physically—to build resilience and confidence.
• Consciously Choose Your Identity: Be aware of, and select, which “I am” drives your behavior in each context.
• Develop Mental Tools: Use proven physiological and psychological strategies (e.g., breathing, open gaze) for immediate stress relief.

Final Thoughts

This episode transcends military lessons, offering a blueprint for resilience through small, actionable changes in mindset and behavior. Rich Diviney’s stories and frameworks provide practical strategies anyone can use to grow tougher, calmer, and more adaptable—no SEAL training required.