The Dr. John Delony Show

Episode: My Husband Cheated and Got an STI
Date: September 26, 2025
Host: Dr. John Delony (Ramsey Network)

Episode Overview

This episode dives into tough, real-life relationship and mental health challenges faced by listeners, featuring three main call-in segments. The central theme revolves around betrayal, trust, and navigating difficult family dynamics. Dr. Delony provides grounded, empathetic advice as callers seek guidance on infidelity and STIs, managing wealth differences in marriage, and setting healthy boundaries with children’s interests.

Segment 1: Should I Stay with My Husband After Infidelity and an STI? (00:05–17:16)

Context

• Caller: Bianca, mother of a three-year-old and a two-month-old, recently discovered her husband's infidelity, use of multiple dating apps (including LGBTQ+ apps), and that he contracted HPV.
• Issue: Deciding whether to stay in the marriage after repeated betrayal, financial manipulation, and endangerment to her and her children.

Key Discussion Points

• Discovery:
  • Husband’s serial infidelity with both men and women, using dating apps throughout their 7.5-year relationship.
  • Recent diagnosis of HPV; Bianca has tested negative but is in ongoing uncertainty.
• Emotional Fallout:
  • Bianca struggles with guilt and self-blame.
  • Dr. Delony asserts the critical shift from "I lost him" to "He left you," highlighting the husband's responsibility.
    • "He left you. You didn’t lose him. And I hate to say this, but you’re not that powerful. He left you." – Dr. John Delony [03:25]
• Rebuilding vs. Leaving:
  • Acknowledgement that her marriage as she knew it is “over.” Now she must decide whether to build something new.
  • Bianca is scared; Dr. Delony validates this as a natural, healthy response.
  • Husband is seeking therapy and is sober for two months, but trust is shattered.
• Safety and Practical Concerns:
  • Bianca is financially dependent, has experienced financial abuse, no job or independent finances.
  • Dr. Delony urges her to pull her credit report to check for hidden debts in her name.
  • Suggests consulting a lawyer to explore options, even if only for information and empowerment.

Notable Quotes

• "The marriage you had is over. It doesn't exist anymore. The question is, are you going to be involved in building a new one with this man?" – Dr. John Delony [05:14]
• "Every year of your relationship has been a lie." – Dr. John Delony [09:08]
• "You're desperately trying to hang on to an imaginary thing that existed that never existed." – Dr. John Delony [09:19]
• "All the data points towards this will happen again." – Dr. John Delony [16:35]

Advice & Suggested Steps

• Rebuild trust in increments (60- to 90-day windows); avoid forever decisions while in crisis.
• Write down what MUST be true for safety and trust; revisit regularly.
• Take proactive financial steps (credit report, joint accounts, understand all debts).
• Consult a lawyer—knowledge can reestablish a sense of agency and safety.

Segment 2: Embracing Spouse’s Newfound Wealth (21:05–34:23)

Context

• Caller: Woman whose husband is on the brink of “life-changing” wealth, bringing up discomfort about status, money, and her evolving role.

Key Discussion Points

• Emotional Response to Wealth:
  • Caller is not motivated by money, fears raising entitled children, and feels increasingly "small" and expendable as her husband’s wealth grows.
  • Husband’s increasing wealth highlights differences in their values and goals.
• Power and Transparency:
  • Money doesn't equal ease; it increases complexity and options.
  • Concern over not knowing enough about joint finances, particularly with husband's business ventures and gambling habits.
• Role and Identity Challenges:
  • Caller left her successful career to stay home, but resists hiring “help” around the house.
  • Feels loss of purpose and worries about being replaceable.
    • “I don't even know, like, what is my role...Like there's expendables.” – Caller [33:50]
• Communication as Crucial:
  • Dr. Delony encourages open dialogue about financial transparency, roles in the family, and values around raising children.

Notable Quotes

• "Money doesn’t make things easy. It gives you options, but things are complex and complex." – Dr. John Delony [22:48]
• "You have no idea what he does with his money." – Dr. John Delony [26:47]
• "If you have everything that you can just hire it out...I don't feel like I'm gonna have a purpose here." – Dr. John Delony [34:13]

Advice & Suggested Steps

• Engage in honest conversations before wealth becomes reality.
• Put all unspoken fears on the table, especially about purpose and financial independence.
• Explore joint financial planning and consider returning to work if desired.

Segment 3: Navigating Boundaries—Teen Interest in Horror & Edgy Media (37:02–53:58)

Context

• Callers: Penny (mom) and Logan (17-year-old son).
• Dilemma: Supporting Logan’s love for horror, edgy music, and video games while maintaining the family’s Christian faith values.

Key Discussion Points

• Parent Perspective:
  • Penny grew up in a strict home (no secular music, no Halloween, etc.) and struggles with Logan’s fascination for dark media.
  • Seeks balance: respecting Logan’s interests without compromising family values.
  • Concerned about desensitization to real suffering versus fictional violence.
    • "I struggle with seeing the story arc in some of these movies...understanding redemption or lack of redemption.” – Penny [48:37]
• Teen Perspective:
  • Logan enjoys horror and metal for their creativity, design, and escapism rather than shock or fear.
  • Finds meaning in fantasy (Magic the Gathering, Lord of the Rings, etc.).
• Dr. Delony’s Mediation:
  • Praises Penny’s thoughtfulness and Logan’s maturity and curiosity.
  • Draws distinction between art with context and value versus nihilistic or gratuitous content.
  • Explains house rules: when living at home, subject to parental guidelines, but ongoing conversation is key.
• Long-Term Vision:
  • Stresses that meaningful influence comes through continued conversation as Logan matures—not control.

Notable Quotes

• "You are maybe the most thoughtful parent I've ever heard speak on this topic before." – Dr. John Delony [40:53]
• "When you live in someone's house, you're subject to the rules...just the truth." – Dr. John Delony [49:53]
• "The more you can make peace with that, quite honestly, the more you're going to have peace in your life." – Dr. John Delony [50:09]
• "When you get images in your head, they never leave...massive desensitization...there will be hell to pay for it. We're paying it right now." – Dr. John Delony [54:05]

Advice & Suggested Steps

• Keep lines of communication open; engage together with media where possible.
• Set boundaries rooted in relationship, not just authority.
• Foster trust; focus on intent and context behind media choices.

Quick Take: Navigating Boyhood and Social Acceptance (58:17–62:23)

• Email: Jessica is a mother of three rambunctious boys, concerned her sons are excluded due to their wildness.
• Dr. Delony’s Input: Celebrate their energy, but teach "time and place" for roughhousing. There’s a balance between honoring a child's spirit and teaching social cues.

Most Memorable Moments & Quotes

• On Betrayal:
  “Every year of your relationship has been a lie.” [09:08]
• On Safety:
  “You have to know that every step along the way, he can say, this sucks, I’m out... and that means you’re going to have to begin asking questions, very unfair, very unbelievable questions, like about economic security.” [15:54]
• On Money in Marriage:
  “Money doesn’t make things easy. It gives you options, but things are complex and complex.” [22:48]
• On Parental Influence:
  “Your influence on him, I hope, lasts beyond 18. And any sort of lasting influence has to shift from I control you to… Hey, let’s talk about it.” [54:32]

Takeaways

• Healing from betrayal and abuse is a process; safety and clarity about the reality are essential first steps.
• Wealth and shifting family roles require proactive, honest conversation about values, purpose, and partnership.
• Parental boundaries work best when rooted in empathy, understanding, and ongoing dialogue—not dogma or control.
• Dr. Delony's style is deeply empathetic but also direct, calling callers to face reality while validating the pain and complexity of their situations.

Useful Resources Mentioned:

• Freecreditreport.com – For financial safety checks after partner’s betrayal.
• Therapy (BetterHelp sponsor mention): For individual and couples counseling.

This episode balances compassionate listening with practical steps and tough truths—a signature of Dr. Delony’s supportive, no-nonsense approach to life’s hardest relationship questions.