My Husband Doesn’t Make Enough Money

Summary

The Dr. John Delony Show

Episode: "My Husband Doesn’t Make Enough Money" – June 8, 2026
Host: Dr. John Delony (Ramsey Network)

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Overview

This episode of The Dr. John Delony Show is packed with heartfelt, candid conversations about financial pressures within marriage, the emotional toll of job loss and bankruptcy, and how professionals in high-stress fields bring their coping mechanisms home. Through direct listener calls, Dr. Delony offers actionable guidance on managing resentment, rebuilding hope and identity, and keeping family life healthy—and even humorous—amid the strains of modern life.

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Key Calls & Discussion Points

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1. “My Husband Doesn’t Make Enough Money”

Guest: Jody, Lexington, KY
Segment Start: 01:03

Issue

• Jody struggles with resentment toward her husband for not being the breadwinner, leading her to take on a higher-earning job she doesn’t love.
• She feels her husband is not fulfilling the life they "agreed on" where she could stay home with their children.

Insights & Guidance

• Dr. Delony disentangles the layers of Jody's resentment, challenging her to articulate what’s really behind her discontent (03:02).

• Quote:

  “What about that man that’s standing in front of you do you no longer respect?”
  — Dr. John Delony (02:36)

• Jody expresses that her husband's lack of confidence and perceived lack of leadership erodes her respect for him.

• Dr. Delony digs deeper:

  “Is he not earning enough for you to stay at home with the kids because he’s lazy?”
  — Dr. John Delony (04:12)

• Jody acknowledges her husband isn’t lazy, and his job loss was psychologically traumatic for him (“the body registers that as a death”—08:15), which led to her career taking precedence.

• The conversation exposes how Jody’s critical tendencies may undermine her husband’s confidence further, creating a negative cycle.

Reframing the Conflict

• Dr. Delony encourages Jody to have an honest, “swipe-the-deck” conversation—stripping away proxies and getting to the heart:

  “We are the authors of our marriage. We get to decide what this thing looks like, feels like, and it’s ours.”
  — Dr. John Delony (14:29)

• He asserts that instead of lingering in blame or disappointment, couples should reimagine their partnership:

  “In our old marriage, I was critical... You’ve told me you don’t like the job you go to... What is our new marriage going to look like?”
  — Dr. John Delony (17:00)

Notable Solutions

• Recommends intentional conversations about shared goals and practical steps (13:05).
• Suggests forming supportive, close friendships (“friends you see weekly, not just acquaintances”—16:14).
• Addresses Jody’s internal guilt about seeking her own joy and the need to rebuild marriage after major family changes.

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2. Bankruptcy and Self-Respect

Guest: Ben, Chicago, IL
Segment Start: 20:24

Issue

• Ben is filing for bankruptcy after losing his six-figure tech career during industry layoffs.
• He feels like a “total failure” and questions his future prospects, especially for relationships and self-respect.

Insights & Guidance

• Dr. Delony cautions about the long-term consequences of bankruptcy and urges consideration of alternatives (22:45).

• Quote:

  “You didn’t just lose a job. …You lost your spirit, you lost your soul, you lost your identity.”
  — Dr. John Delony (24:20)

• Emphasizes the importance of not anchoring identity to a specific job or field, but rather to the value one provides (“I help hurting people,” not “I am a tech guy”) (26:27–32:04).

• Ben has begun a welding apprenticeship—showing resilience and adaptability.

Steps Toward Rebuilding

• Self-respect is rebuilt through action, not thoughts:

  “Self-respect and confidence is not a thing you can think yourself into. It’s a thing you have to act your way into… Especially when I don’t feel like it.”
  — Dr. John Delony (28:37)

• Encourages Ben to “become a man that I trust,” through small, consistent "right" actions.

• Advises journaling to externalize negative feelings and clarify truths (“Get a two-dollar journal… Write out: I feel like… Then: here’s what is true. And, here’s what I’m going to do next”—34:47).

• Offers Ben financial coaching and practical steps to possibly avoid bankruptcy.

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3. Talking About Tough Jobs at Home

Guest: Marie, San Francisco, CA (ER nurse, husband is a firefighter-paramedic)
Segment Start: 39:15

Issue

• Marie and her husband cope with their traumatic professions through dark humor—a method that’s misunderstood by family.
• Concerned about how to “be real” about their jobs with their children, without desensitizing or harming them emotionally.

Insights & Guidance

• Dr. Delony validates first responder humor as a survival tool (41:16–42:40):

  “The number one hardest I’ve ever laughed was cleaning up a scene that included dead people with another officer… If we’re being recorded right now, they’re going to put us in an institution.”
  — Dr. John Delony (42:00)

• The most important parenting lesson is that kids watch more than they listen—how parents love and treat each other sets the emotional tone (45:10).

Practical Advice

• Create a “secret world” for the couple, bounded and safe from the kids and jobs—a place of solidarity and intentionality (45:39).

• As kids grow, gradually adjust the details you share: discretion is key.

• Reassures Marie:

  “Your kids, because of your and your husband’s professions, will walk through life with their eyes wide open to hurting people. And we need more people like that.”
  — Dr. John Delony (49:40)

• Encourages open communication about career and emotional health between spouses without traumatizing children.

• Lastly, reinforces that self-awareness and being intentional about how you discuss work at home is already a strong sign of healthy parenting.

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Memorable Quotes & Moments

• “Every man I know knows when their wife doesn’t like them. And every man I know knows when his wife’s disappointed in the life they have.”
  — Dr. John Delony (09:26)

• “Resentment: the perceived or true sense that there is no more hope. Are you out of hope here?”
  — Dr. John Delony (11:03; Jody: ‘No, I’m not out of hope.’)

• "The marriage you had is over. Now you get to build a new one and y' all get to decide what this thing looks like."
  — Dr. John Delony (17:08)

• “Self-respect and confidence… you have to act your way into practice…”
  — Dr. John Delony (28:37)

• “We are the authors of our marriage. We get to decide what this thing looks like, feels like, and it’s ours.”
  — Dr. John Delony (14:29)

• “Having a dark sense of humor is part of being a first responder… That’s the way we stay sane.”
  — Dr. John Delony (54:00)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 01:03 – Jody discusses resentment over being the breadwinner.
• 04:12 – Exploring root causes: Is laziness or capability the issue?
• 08:15 – The trauma of job loss, especially for men.
• 13:05 – The “swipe the table”/starting over conversation.
• 16:14 – Importance of real friendships (not just acquaintances).
• 17:00 – Rebuilding marriage after major life changes.
• 20:24 – Ben calls about bankruptcy and losing identity.
• 24:20 – The psychological impact of career loss.
• 28:37 – Action as the antidote to self-doubt.
• 32:35 – Reframing identity: “Who do you want to help?”
• 34:47 – Journaling as daily therapy.
• 39:15 – Marie: Bringing tough job experiences home.
• 41:16–42:40 – First responder humor: coping or pathology?
• 45:10 – Modeling deep love between parents for healthy kids.
• 49:40 – How service professions can make children more empathetic.

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The Show’s Tone and Takeaways

Genuine, direct, sometimes humorous, sometimes tender; anchored in practical solutions and deep empathy. Dr. Delony’s style encourages self-reflection, responsibility, and honest communication, whether it’s in redefining marital goals after disappointments, climbing out of financial or emotional holes, or handling the emotional residue from high-impact jobs.

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For listeners:
If you’re struggling with similar issues—resentment in roles, career upheaval, or complex family emotions—this episode offers compassionate, tangible pathways forward. Dr. Delony’s reminders: Clean the slate, talk honestly, act intentionally, and build the life (and marriage) you want, together.

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Transcript

[Jody]

The story that I have is that he doesn't have the confidence to go out and do better for himself, but

[Dr. John DeLoney]

he's doing just fine for himself. He likes his life. You don't like that he doesn't. He's not going out to give you the life you want.

[Jody]

Well, and not just that I want, but the life we agreed that we wanted together. What up?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

This is John with the Dr. John DeLoney show coming to you live from Nashville, Tennessee. Real calls from real human beings going through it wherever they happen to find themselves, with their mental and emotional health, their relationships, their marriages, whatever you got going on. That's what this show's about. I'm gonna pull up a seat and we're gonna figure out what's the next right move. If you want to be on the show, click the link in the show notes and it will send you to the form. You fill it out, it'll go to Kelly, and she will decide whether you get on or not. Yeah, I'd love to have you on the show. So click the link in the show notes. Let's go out to Lexington, Kentucky and talk to Jody. Hey, Jody, what's up?

[Jody]

Hi, Dr. John.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

How are you?

[Jody]

I'm well. How are you?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I'm doing great. What's going on?

[Jody]

Well, thanks for taking my call. It's an honor to talk to you.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You too. You too.

[Jody]

Thanks. I'm calling because I. I just kind of wanted your input to see how I deal with some resentment that I have toward my husband as the breadwinner or I guess sort of higher income earner in our family. And that's not really the place where I wanted to be. So just kind of wanted to get your thoughts because kind of keeps. I think I'm past it and then it creeps up again. This resentment is kind of an undercurrent for me.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So let's move the breadwinner status to the side where are or where have you do an exercise with me. So close your eyes.

[Marie]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. And I want you to imagine your husband standing in front of you about 10 or 15ft away.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Did you ever see Stranger Things?

[Jody]

Yes.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. I want you to imagine he's in that black water. Okay.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And he's just standing there. What about that man that's standing in front of you? Do you no longer respect.

[Jody]

Oh, gosh, that's a good question. And how to put it into words?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Just don't try to. Don't try to sanitize it or censor yourself. Just start vomiting it out. What about that guy. Do you no longer respect.

[Jody]

Not being the provider that, you know, I needed or desired? I guess underneath that.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Underneath that.

[Jody]

Oh, gosh, I guess just not having the confidence to do better for himself and for our family.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, keep going.

[Jody]

Not being the leader that I would like to have in a husband.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

What is. Give me a definition of leader. You know, I hear that a lot from women. And if it's often a moving finish line. What does a leader mean to you?

[Jody]

The person that you can depend on to take care of things. You know, like, I guess that's basically what it is.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Where is he not dependable?

[Jody]

Well, I guess, you know, the biggest part for me is just not being the one to earn enough so that I can stay home with our, you know, kids. That's kind of what I always wanted and we had talked about before we got married, and then that just kind of never happened.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Is he not earning enough for you to stay at home with the kids because he's lazy?

[Jody]

No, No. I think it's okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So hold on, hold on. Don't. Don't start answering it. I want to. I'm trying to pull it apart. Okay. And I know it's kind of uncomfortable.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I don't want you to protect him, and I don't want you to protect yourself right now. I just want you to answer first. First blush.

[Alex]

Okay.

[Ben]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Is he not making enough because he's not capable of it?

[Jody]

No.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Why? What story have you made up as to why he's not making enough money for you to stay home?

[Jody]

I think the story that I have is that he doesn't have the confidence to go out and do better for

[Dr. John DeLoney]

himself, but he's doing just fine for himself. He likes his life.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

He doesn't like that. His wife doesn't like him. So go. Go. Beneath that. You don't like that he doesn't. He's not going out to give you the life you want.

[Jody]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And what story do you make up about him that he won't go out and give you the life that you want?

[Jody]

Right. Well, and not just that I want, but I feel like a life we agreed that we wanted together.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, so one of the reasons you've lost respect is he didn't. He's not keeping his word.

[Jody]

Right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And you see how a conversation about he's not making enough money, so I'm. I'm out here having to pay the bills, that can become a really significant proxy war, too. I don't respect you because you're not Dependable. And you didn't tell me the truth. Right. And those are the real issues here.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Jody]

I mean, he started as the higher income earner, and. But then it sort of flip flopped, you know, so I felt like I had to. I had to earn more.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

How come? Why?

[Jody]

Because, you know, we had. We had bills and things to pay, and he lost his job a few years ago, and when he got a new one, it was a significant pay cut. And so then at the time, I thought, well, you know, there were. There was a promotion available at work, and I applied for it and got it. And, you know, I don't necessarily love what I do, and I think that's probably part of it too, is I don't love my job and. But I feel like I have to. I had to sort of earn more so that we could, you know, pay the bills. And since he took that pay cut.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Is this job that you have to keep a roof over your head and keep the lights on, or is it to keep your vacations and your new cars?

[Jody]

We don't have new cars. I mean, we're pretty close to being out of debt, actually. And no, you know, we could probably do better about budgeting, but it's not. I mean, I'm not. I don't have a big fancy life or anything that I'm trying to keep up. Oh.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So. And again, it's gonna sound like I'm coming at you. I'm not. I'm trying to peel this thing apart.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Marie]

Okay.

[Jody]

Yeah. No, that's what I want.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

When I hear a man who has, quote, unquote, lost confidence, so especially a married man, losing your job is like, Especially for a guy, for anybody. But for a guy, the body registers that as a death.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's a psychological trauma. Okay.

[Jody]

And it definitely did for him. I mean, I wiped him. Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Where in your relationship with him has he seen you instill confidence into him?

[Jody]

Well, and I, you know, we've. We've done marriage counseling, and I know that I, I can be very critical and I can certainly have high expectations. And so I've. I've tried to be more encouraging,

[Marie]

you

[Jody]

know, and thank him for things that he does. And I guess, you know, part of it, too, is I love him and I don't, you know, I, I want to respect him more and I. And I want to help him be more confident. But other than just telling you, I, you know, I believe in you. I don't know, you know, how to help him with that.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's. It's often not in the big things. It's often in the minute by minute, day by day things.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I know men have a reputation for being obtuse and for being aloof and not paying attention, but every man I know knows when their wife doesn't like them.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And every man I know knows when his wife's disappointed in the life they have.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Right.

[Marie]

Yes.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And so.

[Jody]

And I think he does. Yeah. I think that's part of it. But I don't know how to do better, how to fix me, I guess.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Well, it's. It. I don't know that you need to go back to. I don't know, it's that you're broken. I don't know that you're like a car engine that needs to go into the shop to get fixed.

[Jody]

But.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

No, I don't think so. But I. I pervasive. I hear men say this one line. I live in a failure factory.

[Jody]

Mm. Yeah. And I know he kind of feels like that, you know, he said, I just can't do anything right. And so I. I've tried to get away from, you know, voicing, like I said. I mean, just in general, I can be a critical person. And so I've tried to kind of work on that, you know, but. And he'll say, well, I would like to, you know, I want to get a new job, or, you know, I plan to get a new job by this time, and then that time comes, and no new job, you know, So I don't know how to. I don't know how to help, you know? But then at the same time, not feel this resentment that keeps kind of creeping up. I'll think I'm kind of past it, and then it pops up again.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So the definition of resentment that I live by is the perceived or reality, the perceived or true sense that there is no more hope. Are you out of hope here?

[Jody]

No.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Jody]

No, I wouldn't say no.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. Have y' all had what I call. And if you listen to the show for two episodes or more, I bring it up, and. Because I'm constantly beating this drum, but a. What I would call a swipe the deck conversation and not ask the question, when do I get to stay home? Or I wanted this life? Because he might be saying, I like what I do. Where does he work? Right now,

[Jody]

he works for, like, a specialty food brand doing, like, supervising people. And I think he likes it fine. I don't think he loves it, you know, and he. He talks about wanting a different position.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Jody]

But I think it Was definitely kind of a sigh of relief from what he was doing, you know, before.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Sure.

[Jody]

So.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And if you've probably heard me say this, but if a spouse isn't their spouse's biggest cheerleader, they will naturally go towards the place where they are, where somebody is.

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And if going to this work that you think is beneath him, that doesn't pay him enough. But if that's supervising these folks, if they appreciate his leadership and the business is doing fine, that will become his safe place.

[Jody]

Mm.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And what I really want couples to invest in is this idea of creating a secret world that they live inside. They build it, they maintain it, they rebuild it. But it's their secret world where they are each other's biggest cheerleaders. And from that anchor point, people can go do anything.

[Jody]

Yeah. No, that would be awesome.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But that means getting what I call a swipe the table conversation. Clean everything off. All the junk about, you don't make enough money, and I want to be doing this and you don't ever. All that crap off the table. And starting over with, hey, in five years, we're going to have this exact same life, just let with less because of inflation. What kind of world do we want to build together?

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And what do we want our secret world to look like? And if you go first, if you know, reflectively not being a martyr and not telling dishonest truth. Like, dishonest, dishonest truth. That's not a thing. Not lying, but saying, I'm too critical and I'm sorry. I recognize I've put you in a position where you can never win.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I'm sorry. Like, you going first and then saying, what kind of world do we want to create together? And more importantly, how do we want this house to feel? And then you start reverse engineering that. Okay. Then we need this many dollars to make this come true. Are there any jobs in this where we live that pay this many dollars? Right. It makes it really practical. But most people come from the proxy where and try to get to meaning, and you can't because you get stuck at all all these external things. But you clearing the deck, y', all, both y' all together and saying, we get.

[Jody]

We.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

We are the authors of our marriage. We get to decide what this thing looks like, feels like, and it's ours. What do we want this thing to feel like? And if you honestly part of that conversation, it's not all roses and. And, you know, perfume. Like, you have to be able to say, we made a deal. And you're not Living up to the deal that you. The promise that you made. If you've changed your mind, then speak freely here. But the agreement you and I made was when we started having kids, I was going to stay at home. And that's still a value of mine. Is that not a value of yours? So what do you want your life to look like? Paint me a picture. Of what? If you could snap your fingers, you walk, you walk in the front door or you're staying at home so he walks in the front door. How do you want that house to feel? Paint me a picture of that.

[Jody]

You know, I mean, have our kids playing and, you know, a home cooked meal and just joy and laughter. Yeah, I mean, pretty simple. Nothing. Nothing crazy.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Well, there's nothing crazy there, but sometimes there's a lot of dragon filled moats to cross getting to. I want to be happy when he walks in the door

[Jody]

and I usually am happy when he gets home. I work from home, so I'm by myself a lot.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

There we go.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So do you have friends?

[Jody]

I do, yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That you hang out with at least once a week?

[Jody]

No.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, then they're not friends. They're check in buddies. They're acquaintances.

[Jody]

Well, I guess, you know, for me, like when I get done, which as we just. We just had our second and so I've been on leave with the baby and, you know, I just want to spend as much time with my kids as I can. So it's probably partly my fault that I don't have, you know, those times with friends, you know, because I'm not working. I feel I want to be with my kids.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I know. You almost said it. You feel what?

[Jody]

Guilty.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. Yeah, I feel guilty for having my own joy, for filling my own picture up.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

For having my own people that I can just roll my eyes with and make crash jokes with. And like, I feel guilty. And I love the fact that you just had a second kid and here's why. Y' all have a brand new marriage. The marriage you had is over. For better and for worse. Now you get to build a new one and y' all get to decide what this thing looks like. And there's something powerful about going to breakfast together. And I hate that this falls on you, but it probably does. Get a babysitter for half a. Half a Saturday morning, feel the guilt and then realize, nope, we're building something amazing for the kids, so they're gonna be fine. Call grandma, call a neighbor, call somebody. And you and him go out and say, hey, we have a brand New marriage. In our old marriage, I was critical. I didn't like myself. I didn't like, like my stay at home, work from home job or I got two kids run. I don't. I didn't like that world I created. You've told me you don't like the job you go to, it's fine, but it doesn't pay the bill. All that and we made some agreements about what we value. What is our new marriage going to look like? And we get to build this sucker from the floor up. Here's the thing. You're gonna have a tower. That's the analogy I use for marriage. You're gonna have a building. One's just gonna present itself for you, and that sucker is going to be wobbly and ugly and it's going to be haunted with ghosts from your past. Or y' all can build a new one together and it can look like what every all freaking wanted to, which is pretty empowering and awesome. Thank you for the call. If you don't think you're out of hope, then it's going to start with a long conversation. And I want you to go first. I want you to use I statements and call him on the carpet for the things y' all agreed on that he's not living up to. And then together, y' all create a roadmap, a blueprint, if you will, to build this new marriage. Thanks for the call, sister. I'm grateful that you called. We come back. A man asks how to move forward after filing for bankruptcy and feeling like a failure. We'll be right back. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Summer is here, and everything changes this time of year. The kids are out of school. Routines go out the window. You're traveling more and you're propped, probably sleeping less. And if you're not careful, you can end up running on fumes. I know I'm already there. If you don't slow down and take care of yourself, all that stress doesn't just disappear. It shows up in your body, in your work, in your relationships, in your patience. It shows up everywhere, and you find yourself not talking to anyone and just going inside yourself. And this is why I'm a big fan of Better Help. BetterHelp is an online therapy platform that matches you with a licensed therapist based on your goals and preferences. All of their therapists follow a strict code of conduct, and you can message your therapist and schedule sessions right in the app. If it's not the right fit, you can switch anytime at no extra cost. You don't have to carry everything by yourself this summer. Go to betterhelp.com DeLoney to get 10% off. That's better help. H E L p.com/Deloney. All right, let's go out to Chicago and talk to Ben. Hey Ben. What's up, dude?

[Ben]

How much? How about you?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Doing good, brother. What's going on with you?

[Ben]

So my question for you today is how can I move through this bankruptcy that I'm currently going through and not feel like a total failure and gain back some self respect and my dignity?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Thanks for the call, man. So tell me about this bankruptcy. You're not all the way through it. Why'd you file bankruptcy?

[Ben]

I lost my career about three years ago. I tried like hell to find another job in that area. I was in tech and I applied to probably over 500 jobs out of state. In state. Whatever I could do. And I could just never actually get to that, that next job. I would have some interviews. Nothing really moved forward. I tried all the odd end jobs I could do. Credit card bills started stacking up as I had to start putting monthly expenses on those. I was using my car for rideshare, so I needed my car. Just stupid decisions that led to debt piling on debt and it just got unmanageable. And it finally came to a head late last fall and I decided at the beginning of this year to just throw in the towel. That was just fighting

[Dr. John DeLoney]

how much debt was.

[Ben]

Was around 80,000 with everything in.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

If it's not too late, I won't beg you, but I would plead with you to stop the proceedings because I think you can dig yourself out. The nightmare of the next seven years, you'll be. You can be out of debt before then.

[Ben]

So I'm doing a Chapter 13 bankruptcy and my lawyer was telling me that we would be setting up a three year old payment plan based off of my income. So after three years, whatever's left on the debt would get. Get erased.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, but I think you can beat it. That's not why you're calling. But the, the echoes of this thing will go on long after three years.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. So take me back to this idea of a tech job. And were you pretty good at your job?

[Ben]

Yeah, I like to think so.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Did you make a good income?

[Ben]

Yeah, I was making over 100,000 a year.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Ben]

So when that went away, it was quite a bit of a shock.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But the way you described it to me, the words I wrote down was you didn't just lose a job

[Ben]

you

[Dr. John DeLoney]

lost your spirit, you lost your soul, you lost your identity.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Because you're a guy that told himself and others. I'm a tech guy. I work in the tech industry. This is who I am. Even the way you said I lost my career instead of I lost my job.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Right. And if you anchor into a place of employment or a, a field of employment, as this is who I am, that's always a fragile anchoring because as we're all seeing, like we told, we, you know, the world told you guys, I don't know, how old are you? Say that again.

[Ben]

I'm 30.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. Yeah. You were a part of that generation. They told you for 20 years, go, go into going to tech, go into coding, go into tech, going to coding. And then all you guys created a system that is going to take away all yalls jobs, right?

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And so if your identity is anchored into that thing, instead of here's, and here's the alternative. My identity is I provide value to a customer. My identity is I help people do X, Y or Z air conditioning. I'm a teacher, I'm a professor. I'm do concrete. Like I am a white collar executive. And my job is to make sure my leaders are all okay so they can go do their jobs and take care of their people. All right, if, if you're anchored into. I help others, you can help others anywhere, all over the place. What I'm asking you is, is if you step back 30,000ft and say, okay, used to do tech. That's a thing I used to do. It's not a guy. I used to be. And you start asking yourself bigger questions like can I go manage a grocery store or a chain? Can I go be a teacher? Could I be an AI IT teacher at a local high school and make 100 grand as a part of the teachers union in Chicago?

[Ben]

Yeah. So I actually just landed a. I landed an apprenticeship in a welding union down here.

[Jody]

So

[Ben]

I'm not making great money right now, but by the time I'm out of my apprenticeship, I'll be making around 60 to $70 an hour plus all of my benefits like pension, health care on top of that.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, so you'll be crushing it.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

How long is your apprenticeship?

[Ben]

It's a five year apprenticeship.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That's a long time.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Do you have five years to float around at $35,000 a year?

[Ben]

Well, I'm making more than that right now. I think right now, I mean, we're working a lot of overtime because we're really busy. We Have a lot of work for at least the next 10 years. So it's a lot of job security.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

How much are you making right now? Annually?

[Ben]

Well, I just started this past month, but my weekly checks are around 1500.

[Jody]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Where are you living right now?

[Ben]

In a small apartment.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Are you married?

[Ben]

No. That was another reason why I was asking you about the self respect and dignity. Because the biggest thing I want for myself and the whole world is to find a meaningful relationship and have a family of my own one day. And right now that just doesn't even seem like it's in the cards.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. Here's the thing. Self respect and confidence is not a thing you can think yourself into. It's a thing you have to act your way into practice. And that means for a while you're going to have to do, take the next right step when your body is screaming for you not to. That means you're going to have to get up and go to the gym when you're exhausted. Even if you're just going to do 20 minutes in there. That means you're not going to get on a stupid dating app. You're going to go to a local, whatever. You're going to tell all your buddies to tell their wives and girlfriends if they have a friend. You're on the prowl. Don't say on the prowl. That makes you sound like a creeper. But you know what I mean.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I'm going to head back to church. I'm going to join a softball league. Maybe the union's got a team, but I'm gonna start taking steps that feel incredibly difficult to take even though I don't feel like them. Because my feelings are huge right now. Because my feelings want me to turtle up, stay in this one bedroom apartment and not come out. Because when I come out, I get hurt, I get rejected, I get let go, all that.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I'm going to begin to become a man that I trust. And right now you've lost trust in yourself.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And the only way you establish trust in yourself is remember this line, doing the next right thing. Especially when I don't feel like it. You are not a failure because you're going into welding now. Okay.

[Ben]

Yeah, I. I don't feel like a failure going into welding. I actually really like it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Awesome. I'm proud of you for doing this. It's gonna be a slog for five years, but I'm proud of you. And by the way, being a part of a Chicago welders union, they're going to instill in you. This is your new identity, and I want you to fight that. None of us, myself included, none of us are the thing we go to work and do. That's a thing we do. That's not who we are.

[Ben]

So how. How can I put other things into my life that I can call my. My identity?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Who do you want to be?

[Ben]

That's what I struggle with.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, let me ask another way. Who do you want to help? When you worked in tech, who did you.

[Ben]

It's a hard question to answer.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Exactly. As a welder, who are you going to help?

[Ben]

The big data center CEOs, I guess. Because that's a lot of hard work.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's a pretty hollow way to look at it. Maybe you're going to help fix the education system in the United States. Maybe you're going to help the local tax base in Illinois. Maybe you're going to help create thousands of new jobs. Maybe you're going to make sure people have a safe building to walk into and out of.

[Ben]

Yeah, right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I make my boss a lot of money. I could put that pair of glasses on. Who am I helping my boss get rich? I could. Or I can wear the pair of glasses and say, you know what I do every day? I help hurting people. That's what I do.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And by the way, I do that. I do that off the clock, too. I get to decide who I'm going to be. But all that depends on the pair of glasses you choose to put on every morning when you wake up.

[Ben]

Yeah. I appreciate that outlook.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Are you a person of faith?

[Ben]

Yeah, very much so.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, then. If nothing else, every day I'm going to walk, open my eyes, I'm going go to work as though I'm working for God unto the Lord, as scripture says, Which means I'm going to bring excellence. I'm going to go to bed the night before so I can show up with excellence. I'm going to take care of my body so I can show up with excellence. Because I'm working for something bigger than me.

[Ben]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And you're probably in a season where journaling this stuff and writing it down is going to be really helpful. Get out of your body because you're getting weighed down like you're under a weighted blanket with all the stories in your head, man.

[Ben]

Yeah. It feels a little bit more than a weighted blanket right now.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. Like you're under a. You're under a slab of concrete. Yeah.

[Ben]

I feel like Patrick Starr under his boulder.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I get that. Then this afternoon, go over to local Walgreens and get a two dollar journal.

[Ben]

Okay?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I want you to write out all the, like, I feel the following. I, I feel like, I feel like, I feel like. And then underneath that, I want you to spend a moment writing. Here's what is true. And more importantly, here's what I'm going to do next. I'm going to go for a walk around the neighbor. I'm going to put some books or a brick in a backpack and go rucking around my neighborhood. I'm going to go down to the apartment gym with their weird little pulley machines and I'm going to get in 20 minutes of something, I'm going to start going to the, whatever the singles gatherings at my local congregation or whatever. I'm again taking action. And if you can contract your expenses down enough, I want you to be honest about. Of that $80,000 I owe, what's the smallest credit card could I save up in 30 days and get that one paid off? Forget all the others, can I get that one paid off? And then in 60 days, could I get the next smallest one paid off? I don't care about interest rate, I don't care about amount. I'm going to go smallest one first. And you'll know, I mean, you can just, I mean, you can do that on paper, right? Hang on the line here. I'm gonna hook you up with the Every dollar app for a year before you go through this bankruptcy. I want you to do the math on it. And one more thing, I'm gonna hook you up with a financial coach. I work here at Ramsey Solutions. I'm gonna hook you up with a, with a free coaching session with a financial coach. And it's free. And they're going to be on your side and so they're not going to try to push you into anything, whatever. But I want you to sit down and walk through your actual real numbers. What do I owe and to whom? And is there a possibility, given what I make right now? Right, I'm bringing home 6,000 bucks a month and it looks like it's only going to escalate over time. Given my expenses, could I knock this out in two years or three years? And if you can call off the bankruptcy, dude, call off the bankruptcy. And as a guy who paid off six figures in debt, I get it. I know how crushing that sense of being a failure feels like. But I believe in you, brother Clay. Call me anytime on your journey. Hang on the line here, we'll hook you up. I'll also give you Building Anxious Life. It's a book I wrote about creating a life I want to live that's not filled with anxiety and the feeling of failure. I'll send you that for free too, brother. I'm on your team. Thanks for the call, man. We come back, a woman asks how to talk about her and her husband's jobs in a realistic but respectful way around their kid. I can't wait for this call. All right, it all started with the Cozy Earth towels. I love them. And then I got a Cozy Earth comforter. And then I got the big blanket. I'm even wearing Cozy Earth socks right now. I have Cozy Earth in every nook and cranny of my house. I even recently got a pair of their everywhere pants. I. I wasn't looking for another pair of pants, but I got them. And like all other Cozy Earth gear, they're incredible. And of course, my bed. All the beds in my house have Cozy Earth sheets on them. Why? They're not normal sheets. They're amazing. They're made from viscose, from bamboo. And you know what? I don't even know what that means. But I do know that these sheets are soft and breathable and somehow they keep you cool without freezing you out. And you don't get too hot, especially during the summer. Cozy Earth sheets help me and my family sleep better. They're so comfortable. And here's the deal. Cozy Earth gives you a hundred night sleep trial on all bedding and a 10 year warranty on everything else. So there's no risk. Try Cozy Earth for yourself. Go to cozyearth.com DeLoney and use code DeLoney and you'll save up to 20% off your entire order. That's cozyearth.com DeLONEY use code DeLoney. And if you get a post purchase survey, tell Cozy Earth you heard about their amazing gear right here on the Dr. John DeLoney Show. All right, let's go out to San Francisco, California and talk to Marie. Hey, Marie, what's up?

[Marie]

Hey, what's up? Good morning.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Good morning to you. How we doing?

[Marie]

Good.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So what's up?

[Marie]

All right, so I'll be brief. My husband and I both work in emergency medicine. I'm an ER nurse and he's a firefighter.

[Jody]

Paramedic.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Hold on. Stop, stop, stop. Can I just celebrate you for a second?

[Jody]

Thank you.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Those jobs are real, real hard. Yeah, well, let's just do some insider jokes. Your job's real hard. Your husband only works two days a week, right? So.

[Marie]

And he gets to lounge in the chairs during the day.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I know. That's my firefighter joke. All the firefighters, listen, I'm on your team.

[Jody]

We love you, but I grew up

[Dr. John DeLoney]

in the house of a, Of a policeman, so that's just kind of insider jokes. All right, so both of y' all have real tough jobs. He gets to spend a lot of time in a recliner, but so be it.

[Jody]

So be it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

All right, so how can I. How can I help? I love, love, love my firefighter friends. So. All right, so what's going on?

[Marie]

We love what we do. It's a huge reason. We chose a career because we genuinely care about people and love them. But we have developed a pretty dark sense of humor that could be crass. I think it's a coping mechanism.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Around co workers and each other, it feels very normal. But around family, it sounds cold and unempathetic. It doesn't seem to land well.

[Jody]

So do you know my background briefly?

[Marie]

I know you were in a, like a crisis.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah.

[Marie]

Hotline.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

No, I wasn't a hotline. I like, I ran patrol with crisis team with. With police officers, and I would show up with emergency rooms and with firefighters when they weren't lounging around. But my. I grew up in the home of a homicide detective in a SWAT hostage ghostiator. So when you say dark humor, just know that Kelly edits this show a lot. A lot.

[Marie]

Because they don't all land well.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

The heart. I don't know if I can say this. I'm gonna say this. Kelly's not here, so Alex is here. He. They may edit this out, but I'll tell you. And hopefully they'll leave it in because we're grown ups here. Right, Alex? But if I'm honest, the top three hardest times I've ever laughed. One time was at an Adam Sandler movie in the theater. One time was with my buddy Trevor and Todd and Craig. And the number one hardest I've ever laughed was cleaning up a scene that included dead people with another officer. And it was so gruesome that it started with a tiny little, like, smirk that led to a joke that led to I laughed so hard. I. I was the closest I've ever come to vomiting from laughing. And I remember looking at him being like, dude, if we're being recorded right now, they're going to put us in an institution. And that made him laugh even harder. Anyway, like, I have so. And. And again, to anyone not in that world, like, that sounds like I'm insane. Right? But you have to do that or otherwise you are Going to go insane. Right. So every first responder I know has a sense of humor that should not be recorded.

[Marie]

Let's just say that, yes, I'm smiling very hard because I feel seen.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Oh, that's my number one hardest I've ever laughed. I think this is the first time I've ever said this out loud. It was. And, and I would tell you off air, the scene we were cleaning up was so bad.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And anyway, I just got the giggles and I couldn't stop and then it just compounded and then that was it.

[Marie]

And your buddies are with you and they're in the same traumatic scene. But yeah, it's, it's what comes of it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I have a picture in my head of an officer with his head on a sink because he couldn't prop himself up. He was laughing so hard, but he was holding something anyway. Yeah, been there, been there, been there. Okay, so what's your question? I'm trying to make this all about me and it's not about me. So sorry about that.

[Marie]

No, I, I thank you for the camaraderie. It's nice to hear it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

All right, so go for it.

[Marie]

Now that we're becoming, we have a one year old and hopefully to be more kids, but now that we're becoming parents, we want to be intentional about how we talk about our jobs around our kids when they grow up. We don't want to hide reality or pretend that hard things don't exist, crazy things don't exist, but we also don't want them to grow up being desensitized or cynical or thinking people's pain is something to joke about.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yep.

[Marie]

So how do we balance honesty plus the realities of our job while teaching empathy, respect, emotional health?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, it's awesome. So, man, that's such a good question. I'll just tell you a couple of things that have made a big difference in my life. Okay. And I don't have a ton of like, literature or data on this. I'm just going to tell you. I spent, I mean, I grew up in the home of first responder. I ran with first responders and that was, I mean, I, I meet with a lot of those guys, men and women behind closed doors still to this day. So here, here's a couple of big rock things. Number one, your kids are going to watch you way more than they listen to you. And so them seeing in real time, mom goes to the gym. Mom and dad are always hugging each other. They're always looking each other in the eyes. They're always Laughing with each other, they're popping each other with towels, they're smacking each other on the butt. Like, my mom and dad are gross for each other, right? And by the way, that's number one on the greatest gift you can give your parents can give their kids is to recklessly love their spouse, their other parent.

[Marie]

My husband said that the other day. That's awesome.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That's number one. Like, of all the. Can I put them in these schools? Can I make. Put them on this athletic team? Number one is recklessly love their other parent. And so you and your husband decide, and here's the language I've started using. Y' all create a secret world that does not include your jobs, does not include your kids. It includes whatever y' all want it to include, though, but it's just y'.

[Jody]

All.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And then we decide if we're going to talk about work. We decide if we're going to let kids, like, even peer into this thing. But this is our secret world. Our jokes, our laughter, our. Our little, like, sexual. Not like, all this is ours, right? What we want our home to feel like, look like where we want to live, all that stuff, it's ours. Nobody else gets a vote in that. And so putting that time in again will give your kids an emotional anchor. And here's what that looks like for my kids. You will not know shame until you make an inappropriate joke and your 14 year old looks at you with no laughter and says, dad, when are you going to grow up? Right? My kid did that to me. And listen, I was. I laughed so hard when he did that, he still didn't laugh. But here's what that taught me. A, he has grown up in a house where he's allowed to call out his dad. He is in a house where he feels safe enough that that's okay. Respectfully, he is in a house where he has developed his own moral compass because he had a true moral compass to be anchored into. In. In him and me and his. In his mom. And three, he knows his dad's a good guy, but his dad just thinks that certain things are funny that most other people don't.

[Ben]

Right?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I'll also tell you, I. I made a big mistake in coming. I. I realized very early that I would melt my wife with stories of what had happened at work. And, yeah, then I hit the pendulum too hard and I started telling her nothing. And then what I realized is I started keeping secrets and I started telling other people what was going on, and I found myself moving closer to them. Than to her. And that's not good either. And so we had to develop some sort of code where she would say, like, was last night a rough night? And I'd say, yeah. And. And she knew, oh, when he's had a rough night, when he had to go tell mom and dad, hey, your kid is dead in the next room over here. Right. And you've been in those rooms when moms are fall to the ground and dads are hitting thing, like, you've been in there, right?

[Jody]

Yes.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She didn't have to know all the gory details, but she knew when. When. When John says he's had a rough night, she leans in, she comes in for a hug and doesn't let go. Oh, damn it. I'm. I'm g. Get choked up now. She will sit by me and put her arm. Her hand on my arm, and not. And not. Not let go. So we've talked about it before, right? And. And I know, hey, I need to call my supervisor when I see a gnarly one. I just need to say it to somebody, right?

[Marie]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But it's. It's developing those things, and your kids are going to absorb that, right?

[Ben]

Right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And so those are the big rock things. And I don't think y'.

[Ben]

All.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Because it similarly. Like, if you were on shift, right, and you all saw something crazy, and you. You as a group of nurses, like, we're doing what you had to do to survive that scene, right? And one of y' all is outside smoking, and y' all are standing with them, and one of y' all makes a joke, and you'll all get the giggles, and then y' all just start dying laughing, right? I know this about you. If you walked back inside and saw an arrogant prick doctor make a comment about that patient, you'd get angry, right?

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Because that. That statement would be at them, not. You get what I'm saying?

[Jody]

I do.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And so you. I don't think your. Your fear about saying the wrong thing or making the wrong joke in front of your kids, that's a real fear. You won't do that because that's not who you are.

[Marie]

It's not coming from a place of malice.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That's right. It's not coming at a place of. At. It's coming at a place of survival.

[Marie]

Yeah, that's a good point.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You. You. You won't do that. In fact, your kids, because of your. You and your husband's professions, your kids will see the world. They will walk through life with their eyes wide open to hurting People. And we need more people like that.

[Jody]

Yeah, yeah, that's true.

[Marie]

We do.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. I've talked so much in this call, and I'm so sorry. You talk back now. I feel like I'm just running my mouth.

[Marie]

No, no, no, that was. That was. It was really wonderful. I do appreciate it. Yeah. I think. I think it just. My concern came from. We were having a. A family gathering, and my husband and I were just going. We were just ricocheting off each other and, you know, building on a story that happened because he brings patients to my hospital, and we were just going back and forth on it, and I remember the looks on my family's faces when I looked over, and they were like. They just looked at us like we were these awful people. And I remember my sister specifically saying, I would never say that about somebody. And then. Yeah, that made us just check each

[Jody]

other, like, oh, God.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. But does she. Does she work in your profession?

[Marie]

No. And that's okay. No, my dad's also a paramedic. Firefighter. And he came around the corner and he was like, hey, I get it. And yeah, yeah, he gave us a little bit of comfort in it.

[Jody]

But you're right.

[Marie]

It's. It's just. It's a. It's a situation that you just can't explain to other people unless they live it, you know?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I'll tell you, my dad, the former homicide detective, there's been many a times he starts telling a story at the dinner table too far, and with my kids, and we're like, dad, stop, stop. Right? He's like, oh, sorry. Right.

[Jody]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And he's not trying. He's just speak like, that's just how I grew up. Right. And so, yeah, I don't want my kids. They're. At the time. They're six. Right. They don't need to hear about that assault. Like, they don't need to hear that. And he's. He's just not even making a joke. He's just telling a fact. Hey, this happened yesterday.

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Like, no, there's six year old, he's. Oh, okay. Right. And so some of that will be you and your husband being self aware. Right. And you know as well as I do, it's kind of awesome to juice up a crowd sometimes.

[Marie]

They love the story.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

They do love the stories. And it's. I mean, sometimes that can be fun, but usually it's like, n. It's good.

[Jody]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Marie]

You got to be careful how you take it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That's right.

[Jody]

But.

[Marie]

But no, that. That was A I, I appreciate the point of. Kids will watch your, your actions and behaviors more than your words.

[Jody]

Yeah, that's great.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Now they will pick up swear words and say them back to you. As my daughter was singing. Tom Petty came on the other day on the way home from church and my family's always changing the words to songs and I hear my 10 year old daughter in the backseat of my truck on the way home from church, of all places, and singing and I'm free, Free Ballin. And she kept singing it over and over. And I looked at my wife, I was like, you gotta tell her what that means. And she's like, you tell her. I was like, I'm gonna tell her. You tell her. And she, my daughter caught us and she's like, what, what, what got. And so we had to explain it and it's. Anyway, they'll pick up your words and say them back to you. They for sure will. So. But it's, it's a. Let me say this, you're super on the right track. The, the fact that you're even wondering about this is great. And there is tons of discretion with little kids. They do not need to know those stories at all. In fact, many of the stories my kids don't, don't, don't have any idea what, what dad used to do. Like he, they know I used to show up at the house in a patrol car or something, but they have no idea what dad used to do. And that's good. As my son's getting older, he's asking more questions and I'm telling him a little bit more here and there. But, but you're in the right place. And having a dark sense of humor is part of being a first responder. Showing up in with people in their worst, worst, worst, almost unimaginable moments. That's the way we stay sane. And I know it's fun to melt family, but it's probably not a good idea. So all I'd say is, y' all are doing great. I would love for you and your husband to get together, spend a half day together, you'll have a one year old. Now, the marriage y' all had over, it doesn't exist anymore. So getting together and saying, okay, we have a brand new marriage because we have a one year old now, we've never been married with one year old. What do we want our marriage to look like? Because we get to choose and y' all construct that sucker. How do we want this to look and how are we going to love each other Recklessly. Till death do us part. Thank you so much for the call, sister. We'll be right back. All right, look, I went into a local corner store the other day to just buy a few things, and at checkout, they wanted my address, my phone number. They might as well have taken a picture of me and got my Social Security number. I just wanted some paper plates and some cups and they wanted my soul. Listen, every time you give out your cell number, your email address to some business or you buy something online, data brokers are looking to grab your information and sell it to the highest bidder, leaving you vulnerable to spam and scams. This is a big part of why I use and recommend delete me. Your phone number, your home address, your family's personal information. All of this is just floating around online, sitting on data broker websites that you have never heard of. Deleteme finds your personal information and they remove it for you. Not just once. They keep monitoring for your information and they clean it up month after month. This helps you close the gap between what you think is private and what actually is. You cannot build a peaceful life if parts of your life are being bought and sold in the shadows online without your permission. Go to JoinDeleteMe.com DeLoney and get 20 off an annual plan. That's JoinDeleteMe.com DeLoney all right, Alex, something cool happened. By the way, the second show in a row, Kelly's not here. Still hungover. She went on a bender.

[Jody]

Yep.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Golly, dude, she's not gonna fire you, Alex. Alex is so scared for his job. I'm telling you guys, Kelly is ruthless.

[Alex]

She's scary.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yes. I told. Right. Everyone, every. Everywhere I travel over the country, people like you're. Kelly's the best. She's so wonderful. She's not mean at all.

[Alex]

She's a tyrant. An old tyrant.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Thank you. Thank you. And by the way, she. She controls final edit, so she's going to edit all this out or she'll write her own cool crap that happened and be like, dear John, your team's amazing. Like she always does, but. All right, go ahead, Alex.

[Alex]

So this is less of a cool crap that happened and more of a cool crap that could happen. So

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I hear you go with the Dungeons and Dragons story.

[Alex]

Well, yeah. Anyways, Jennifer said I feel like your next move is to open up a breakfast place called clearing the Deck where the booths are set up like a comfy meeting place to have breakfast. But there is at least one trained therapist on staff at a time in case some. Something Something emotional blows up. You could have the paper and pen in front of them as well as tissues. If things get hard, I'm happy to help with logistics for a small cut of the profits. Love your show.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

A breakfast place.

[Jody]

Ship it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Do y' all even. Do people yalls age even eat breakfast?

[Alex]

Not me.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I don't know any kid under the age of 40 that eats breakfast. Keeler, do you have breakfast? No, not really. Sometimes I have a protein shake in the mornings if I'm feeling up for it. Beef cake?

[Jody]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So, okay, I'm doing this. I'm open. I'll open a breakfast restaurant. What? What does she want to call it? Clearing the deck. All right. I got to change the name so she won't sue me. We could have a covered wagon parking for our geriatric folks who want to come meet Kelly. And we could have a thing in the corner where Kelly's making her own butter like she does. That would be awesome.

[Alex]

So she's Amish now, too?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She's. She just does things the old fashioned way. Like they used to do it when she was a little girl before we had all this new fangled stuff like electricity and running water and stuff like that. All right, that's awesome. I love that idea. What was her name?

[Alex]

Jennifer.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Jennifer. I don't share profits, but that was a good idea. Thanks for the. Thanks for the suggestion. Love you guys.

[Alex]

Bye.