The Dr. John Delony Show – Episode Summary

Episode Title: My Husband Won’t Fire His Mistress
Date: May 1, 2026
Host: Dr. John Delony (Ramsey Network)

Episode Overview

This episode is a raw, caller-driven conversation exploring deep marital, relational, and mental health challenges. Dr. John Delony welcomes three callers facing significant family issues: Simone, whose husband will not dismiss an employee with whom he had an affair; Anna, struggling with resentment in her marriage due to unmet sexual expectations; and Michelle, seeking guidance to support her son after her ex-husband’s infidelity and resulting family complications.
Dr. Delony’s tone is honest, compassionate, and direct, aiming to spotlight tough truths and empower callers to face decisions with clarity and self-worth.

Key Segments and Insights

1. Simone’s Story: Betrayal, Boundaries, and Taking Action

[00:05 – 15:26]

Background

• Simone has been married for 33 years (retired military husband, 5 adult kids).
• Discovered her husband (then 55) was having an affair with a 20-year-old employee who started working for them at age 15.
• The affair began after the young woman became their tenant in the house next door.
• Simone demanded her husband fire the woman and set a firm boundary in therapy: the marriage would not progress unless the affair partner was removed from their life.

Challenges & Dr. Delony’s Response

• Husband’s Defense: Claims employee is “integral” to the business; refuses to fire her.
• Breach of Trust: Simone feels stuck, clinging to hope for change that never comes.

Dr. Delony:
"You laid down your boundary and he stepped over it, brought her with him and nothing for 36 or 40 months has changed." [06:22]

• Powerful Analogy:

  "A hurricane blew your house down and you’re still sleeping in the shell… trying to pretend this thing still has a roof on it. And you get mad every time you get wet when it rains." [06:41]

• Dr. Delony insists Simone confront reality: her husband has prioritized the affair partner and business over the marriage.

• Simone reveals: She asked for separation three weeks ago. Husband began business sale negotiations with family and a broker—without Simone, who is a 50% owner.

• Dr. Delony frames this as a clear, businesslike exit. Simone has hired an attorney and is advised to let legal counsel handle the conflict.

Dr. Delony:
"If I was in your exact shoes, I would get off this call and call an attorney." [11:35]
"He doesn't care. He made his choice. And that should break your heart. It breaks mine." [12:42]

Emotional Impact & Advice

• Dr. Delony encourages Simone to lean on close friends—not her children—for support in the difficult season ahead.
• He urges her to accept her self-worth and envision a new future, even if it feels overwhelming.

2. Anna’s Story: Intimacy, Disappointment, and Communication

[17:47 – 32:15]

Background

• Anna grew up religious, abstained until marriage, built up sexual expectations.
• Her marriage and sex life did not match her hopes. Husband rarely initiates, prioritizes other activities over intimacy.
• Anna feels undesired, resentful, and wonders if she’s to blame, struggling with the belief that she “could have had fun in her 20s” if this was the outcome.

Dr. Delony’s Approach

• Frames Anna’s disappointment as common among religious upbringings where sex is idolized but poorly discussed.
• Notes the "spiral" where women blame themselves for lack of husband’s desire.

Dr. Delony:
"What I find most of the time is that when people start planning [sex] and they get structured about how they are planning ... the magic starts to happen on its own." [28:12]

Actionable Advice

• Encourages open, "story I’m making up" communication, rather than accusations, to draw the husband into honest conversation.
• Recommends practical tools: scheduling intimacy, using the “erotic envelope” exercise (each writes down fantasies/challenges, draws randomly and tries them without judgment).
• Emphasizes the need for tactile, concrete clarity, not just emotional appeals.

Dr. Delony:
"Curiosity is an invitation...show him curiosity rather than judgment." [31:32]

• Provides Anna with access to the “Together” app to strengthen her relationship through small, regular acts of connection.

3. Michelle’s Story: Supporting Kids through Parental Infidelity

[37:05 – 51:40]

Background

• Michelle (from Austin) and her ex-husband have amicably co-parented since divorce. Both remarried and blended families.
• Ex-husband had an affair with the wife's roommate/best friend ("aunt" to the kids); this relationship, the breakup, and the new pregnancy all played out visibly for their children.
• Michelle’s 12-year-old son is especially angry at his father, who is not receptive to criticism from his son.

Dr. Delony’s Advice

• Key Guidance:

  • Always prioritize the children's safety.
  • Never lie to children, but also never denigrate the other parent (as "half of him is you and half is that guy").
  • Validate all emotions: “There are no bad feelings, only actions that can be unhelpful.”

    "You can tell him, I want to hear about what you're mad about." [40:29]

  • Utilize journaling, voice notes, or letters to help sons process complex feelings—spoken or written—at their own pace.

• Regarding Therapy:
  If traditional talk therapy isn't working, keep seeking a therapist comfortable with teenage boys, who can build trust without pressure.

• Supporting Anger:

  • Let boys have their anger as long as it isn’t destructive.
  • Contextualize dad’s behavior (“His feelings might be too big for him to talk right now”) but don’t excuse it.

• Special Risk:
  Divorce, family chaos, and reduced parental presence significantly increase risk for adolescent boys (substance abuse, mental health issues). Dr. Delony stresses minimizing screen time and internet exposure, and maximizing positive adult male influences (coaches, mentors, youth leaders).

Dr. Delony:
“He wants some nervous system regulation and the adults in his life won’t give it to him. That's disorienting for a child." [49:34]

• On Relationships & Mentoring:
  Find community mentors and ensure her son understands he is liked, seen, and valuable, despite the chaos around him.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dr. Delony to Simone:
  • "Your husband has made his decision." — [08:30]
  • "Behavior is a language...it's very, very clear." — [07:45]
• Dr. Delony to Anna:
  • "The story I’m making up is you’re not into me.” — [30:04]
  • “Curiosity is an invitation…show him curiosity rather than judgment.” — [31:32]
• Dr. Delony to Michelle:
  • "There are no bad feelings, there are unhelpful responses.” — [40:29]
  • “He wants some nervous system regulation and the adults in his life won’t give it to him." — [49:34]

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Simone’s Marital Crisis: 00:05 – 15:26
• Anna’s Bitterness & Sexual Resentment: 17:47 – 32:15
• Michelle’s Parenting Challenge: 37:05 – 51:40

Episode Takeaways

• Draw hard boundaries and act when they’re repeatedly crossed.
• Communicate needs through curiosity, not accusation, especially with emotionally charged issues.
• Support children through family upheaval by giving them tools to process emotions, never shaming their anger, and ensuring strong, stable mentors are present.
• Accept what cannot be changed, and gather your support system for inevitable seasons of transition and grief.

This episode blends tough love with practical, actionable steps, aiming to equip listeners and callers to face life’s hardest moments with courage, clarity, and compassion.