My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life

Summary

Episode Summary: "My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life" – The Dr. John DeLoney Show

Podcast Information:

• Title: The Dr. John Delony Show
• Host: Ramsey Network
• Episode: My Sister-in-Law Overshares About Her Sex Life
• Release Date: April 28, 2025

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Introduction

In this episode of The Dr. John DeLoney Show, hosted by Dr. John DeLoney of the Ramsey Network, listeners delve into real-life relationship and mental health challenges through caller-driven discussions. The focal point of this episode revolves around Sarah's discomfort with her sister-in-law frequently oversharing intimate details about her sexual relationship with Sarah's brother. Additionally, the episode features insightful conversations with Steve, a stay-at-home dad feeling overwhelmed by his responsibilities, and Abby, a concerned mother navigating her 17-year-old daughter's intense romantic relationship.

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Sarah’s Dilemma: Dealing with an Oversharing Sister-in-Law

Caller Profile:

• Name: Sarah
• Location: Twin Falls, Idaho
• Issue: Her sister-in-law incessantly discusses her intimate life with Sarah's brother, creating discomfort and tension within family interactions.

Key Points:

• Emotional Impact: Sarah expresses feelings of discomfort and annoyance, even questioning if jealousy plays a role in her reactions. She admits, "So a little part of me always just felt like maybe I'm a little jealous because I'm a single mom and that's something I've always desired." (00:18).

• Dr. DeLoney's Response: Dr. DeLoney underscores the importance of setting boundaries. He suggests a light-hearted yet firm approach to address the issue, advising Sarah to respond humorously but decisively when the topic arises. "You’ve got to just put a stop to every conversation," he emphasizes (04:03).

• Strategic Communication: Dr. DeLoney recommends that Sarah confront the behavior the next time it occurs. He advises her to laugh it off initially and, if the behavior persists, to directly tell her sister-in-law that such discussions are inappropriate and unwelcome. "This is her problem, not yours," he states firmly (04:57).

• Long-Term Solutions: Recognizing that Sarah has tolerated this behavior for over a decade, Dr. DeLoney encourages her to take proactive steps to reclaim her comfort and preserve her relationship with her family. "You’re good, Sarah. You’re good," he reassures (05:10).

Notable Quotes:

• Sarah (00:05): "My sister in law, she can turn any conversation into how her and my brother were intimate. And it's so uncomfortable. How do I tell her to stop?"
• Dr. DeLoney (04:21): "But I think you stop. The first time I would. This is me. I would stop with a smile on my face."

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Steve’s Struggle: Balancing Fatherhood, Work, and Personal Limitations

Caller Profile:

• Name: Steve
• Location: Tampa, Florida
• Issue: As a legally blind stay-at-home dad juggling full-time work, household responsibilities, and caring for a six-month-old baby, Steve feels overwhelmed and isolated.

Key Points:

• Overwhelming Responsibilities: Steve details his transition from single life to married fatherhood, highlighting the strain of managing a household while working full-time. "I'm legally blind. I can't drive. So there's no, you know, there's no driving anywhere or doing anything like that." (14:09).

• Emotional Toll: He confesses feeling like a "prisoner" at times, grappling with the loss of his former social outlets like video games. "Some days I wake up and I do feel that way." (14:53).

• Dr. DeLoney's Advice: Acknowledging Steve’s feelings, Dr. DeLoney stresses that feeling overwhelmed is valid and not a sign of weakness. He advocates for creating a flexible, short-term plan with his spouse to navigate the complexities of their new life. "What I wish every single parent of a new baby knew... be honest about what it means to be whole." (17:32).

• Communication and Planning: Dr. DeLoney suggests negotiating responsibilities every three months, allowing both partners to express their needs and adjust roles accordingly. This method promotes ongoing dialogue and mutual support. "We're renegotiating and not negotiating in a win... but maybe a better word is you're reimagining it every... three months." (19:47).

Notable Quotes:

• Steve (12:05): "So August, I am a father of a beautiful baby girl. And so my life kind of changed, you know, basically overnight."
• Dr. DeLoney (15:00): "Like, dude, if you should be feeling overwhelmed, there's nothing wrong with you, okay?"

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Abby’s Concern: Navigating a Teen Daughter’s Intense Relationship

Caller Profile:

• Name: Abby
• Location: Bozeman, Montana
• Issue: Abby is worried about her 17-year-old daughter's deep involvement in a romantic relationship that may interfere with her academic and social life.

Key Points:

• Daughter’s Behavior: Abby describes her daughter as bright and romantic but notices a shift in her engagement with school and activities since entering a relationship. "We’ve seen some change in relationships with her at school. She disengages from some of the activities that she once was really into." (29:43).

• Dr. DeLoney's Perspective: He reassures Abby that such intense teenage relationships rarely lead to long-term commitment but acknowledges the underlying emotional challenges parents face as their children transition to independence. "This is her conversation to have." (38:26).

• Setting Boundaries: Dr. DeLoney advises establishing clear, respectful boundaries, such as limiting the time the daughter spends alone with her boyfriend and encouraging open communication through regular, structured conversations like breakfast meetings. "This is going to cost y'all money, and more importantly, it's going to cost y'all time. And what I'm telling you is that's the single greatest investment you can make in this young woman right now." (40:08).

• Long-Term Strategies: He emphasizes the importance of guiding the daughter towards healthy behaviors and ensuring she feels deeply loved and supported. Implementing activities that foster open dialogue and mutual understanding can help mitigate potential negative impacts on her academic and social life. "The greatest gift you can give that kid and your brand new wife is for you to be whole." (19:59).

Notable Quotes:

• Abby (29:25): "I have a 17 year old daughter. She’s a senior in high school. She’s bright, she’s kind, she’s beautiful, she’s generous, she’s very smart and she, she’s romantic."
• Dr. DeLoney (38:35): "You have to be honest about what it means to be whole."

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Key Insights and Takeaways

1. Establishing Boundaries: Whether dealing with family members oversharing or managing teenage relationships, setting clear and respectful boundaries is crucial for maintaining personal comfort and healthy relationships.

2. Open Communication: Regular, honest dialogues between spouses and between parents and children help address and navigate emotional challenges, preventing feelings of isolation and resentment.

3. Flexibility and Adaptation: Life changes, such as becoming a parent or dealing with personal limitations, require adaptable strategies and periodic reassessment of responsibilities and relationships.

4. Self-Care and Support: Acknowledging one’s feelings of being overwhelmed and seeking support or creating structured plans can alleviate stress and promote overall well-being.

5. Guiding Adolescents: Parents play a pivotal role in guiding their teenagers through intense emotional phases by providing support, setting boundaries, and encouraging healthy behaviors.

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Conclusion

In this episode, Dr. John DeLoney adeptly addresses diverse personal and relational challenges presented by callers. Through empathetic listening and practical advice, he empowers individuals to set boundaries, communicate effectively, and navigate the complexities of family dynamics and personal responsibilities. The episode underscores the importance of mutual respect, flexibility, and open dialogue in fostering healthy relationships and personal well-being.

Transcript

[Sarah]

My sister in law, she can turn any conversation into how her and my brother were intimate. And it's so uncomfortable. How do I tell her to stop?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You don't like talking about your brother's sex life.

[Sarah]

So a little part of me always just felt like maybe I'm a little jealous.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

What's going on? This is John with a Dr. John delegation DeLoney Show. Taking your calls on your marriages, your relationships, your mental and emotional health, whatever you got going on in your life, I'm here for you. Here, not for you. I'm here with you. I'll sit here and we'll figure out what's the next right move. I'd love to have you on this show. If you want to be on the show, give me a buzz at 1-844-693-3291 or go to john deloney.com ask as. Okay. All right. Let's go out to Twin Falls, Idaho and talk to Sarah with an H. What's up, Sarah?

[Sarah]

Hey, John, thanks for taking my call. And I just had a question. My sister in law, she can turn any conversation into how her and my brother were intimate. And it's so uncomfortable. How do I tell her to stop?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You don't like talking about your brother's sex life?

[Sarah]

You know what?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's so weird.

[Sarah]

It's really annoying.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Have you not said, hey, I don't want to talk about my brother's sex life?

[Sarah]

No.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Why?

[Sarah]

So a little part of me always just felt like maybe I'm a little jealous because I'm a single mom and that's something I've always desired. So I just stuff it down deep.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Not with your brother, though.

[Sarah]

No, definitely not.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Also too. We're gonna have to. It's gonna be one of those calls. Okay. All right. Yeah. Cool. So. So do you like hearing about. Okay, this is kind of weird.

[Sarah]

He doesn't go into details.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. Okay.

[Sarah]

I'm pretty good at changing the subject.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. But are you jealous? Like, she's your friend in every other way and if this was just your regular, like a friend from work or the neighborhood or whatever, you would. You would. That'd be something y'all talk about, right? How are things going in the bedroom? Like what? Just normal conversations and it's just extra weird because it's your brother or she just gratuitous and weird.

[Sarah]

Probably. It's weird because it's my brother.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Sarah]

Because I don't have those feelings with anyone else.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Sarah]

Yeah, but also, she brings it up so often.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Why? That's so Weird.

[Sarah]

I don't know. So, like on Wednesday nights we ride to church together and so we went to church the other night and I brought up the time change and then she was like, oh, it gave me and your brother an extra little bit of time before the kids woke up.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

God, morning sex with your brother, that's the worst.

[Sarah]

I just stared out the window and was like, the kids are being really loud. I can't talk right now. Like, that's how bad my responses are getting.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I know, but, okay, but here's the thing that's super weird that she does that. It's just, just, it's just not called for. Okay, But I, I'm also way more concerned than that. I mean, that's just like an obtuse. I don't, like she's getting some weird thing out of that, like, whatever. But like, why won't you say, whoa, whoa, stop, stop, stop, that's my brother. I don't want to hear about that.

[Sarah]

Like, I think I let it go on for over 10 years. Like she's, they've been married for, I think 13 years or something.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She's always talked about just rocking it onto, to break it down.

[Sarah]

Yeah. All the time.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. You've got to just put a stop every conversation.

[Sarah]

So then I, I didn't think it was like, I, maybe I thought it was normal.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Like, no, I go hunting with my brother in law. We go, like, I, I, he's, I consider him a close friend. I don't ever talk about his sister. My wife. Yeah, no.

[Sarah]

So, no. So then her, I started hanging out with her cousin and her cousin was like, oh, I hear it all the time.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. Someone just needs to tell her.

[Sarah]

Okay, so that's where I just need to know, how do I, like, I feel like I've been in it for so long. How do I throw it out there?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I think the next I, I, this is one, this is a rare one. This is one that when it comes up again, I wouldn't just throw like, have like a big hard conversation. I would try to keep this as light as possible. And the next time she's like, oh, me and your brother. Be like, whoa, whoa, I got to stop you. I've heard so much about your sex life with my brother. I can't take anymore. It's my brother. Stop. And you laugh and hopefully she laughs and she's like, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. And then we all move on. If she doesn't, if this is a thing for her, hear me say this. Directly. This is her problem, not yours.

[Sarah]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She's the weird one here. If she feels like it is a violation of Yalls relationship that she can't talk about her sex life with your brother.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah.

[Sarah]

Is it fair for me to say something like, it sounds like you're insinuating. Because it's not. Like she said, oh, we. You know, we got it on. It's like, oh, we have some extra time, and it was so nice. And then we.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You know, and it's like, is it you that's bringing drama to this, or was it just talk? She's talking about breakfast.

[Sarah]

Oh, it's. Because then there. It'll be times, like, I'll bring the kids home or drop them off in the afternoon, and she'll say, oh, we just got out of the shower. Good thing you weren't any earlier, or something. Like, she always has to make the comment, but that never goes into details.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That's enough detail for me. I don't need that picture in my head of. Yeah, right. So I. I think it's like. No, no, stop. I don't want to hear that. I don't hear that. Here's your. Here's your kids.

[Sarah]

Stop her.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, but I think you stop. The first time I would. This is me. I would stop with a smile on my face.

[Sarah]

All right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Right.

[Sarah]

I know, because I've avoided her, and I feel like she doesn't deserve that. Like, she has a really good friend. You know, we hang out and.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But this way. Yeah. Don't avoid her. Yeah. Yeah. But also, y'all can be great friends, and she not tell you about getting out of the shower with your brother.

[Sarah]

Intimate things. Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She can just say, thanks for bringing my kids by.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Like, she doesn't have to add that. Right. And if. If y'all were. If she was just like a close, close girlfriend, like one of your college roommates, and then you dropped her kids off and she looked at you and be like, ooh, you just like, that would be a. That would be fun and appropriate, I think.

[Sarah]

Yeah. We'd laugh and.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yes. Go on. And even still, you'd probably go, oh, gross. I don't hear that.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Right. And so, like. Because I don't want, Like. I don't know. I just try to put myself in her position. I don't want my friends, even my closest best friends that I consider brothers. I don't want them picturing my wife getting out of the shower.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You know what I mean? I don't want that in their head.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I might. Like, I can. I. I'm. I am. Here's the thing. Here's. Here's how I know that she's in the wrong here. I talk about sex too much. Like, I've researched it as a nerd. I've had to investigate it as like a. Like, it's just been a part of my professional life for so long. Yeah, Right. And I know that I talk about it too much. And I would never do that with my. To my brother in law. I would never engage in that conversation with my sister in law, my brother's wife, who's amazing with my, you know, my sister's husband. Like, I would never do that because that's insane. Right? Yeah, I don't want to hear that. So. No, but. But I. I would lay it out. Yes, I would lay it out. I would do it laughingly at first. If she can't get there, if she's like. And she ramps it up, there may come a moment when you have to stop and say, I don't want to talk about you and my brother having sex. Stop. I don't want to talk about you and my brother in the shower. And hopefully she'll be like, okay, okay. And if she's just obtuse, then she's opting out of friendship with you. She's opting out of relationship with you. And surely your brother would understand too, if we're crying out loud. Good grief. Nope, you're good, Sarah. You're good. But, yes, this is your conversation to have. And for everybody out there, don't be weird with your brother and sister in law. Gross. Nobody wants that picture in their head. We'll be right back. All right. It was just several weeks ago that we all moved our clocks forward one hour. I love the extra hour of daylight, but, dude, I'm still struggling with that lost hour of sleep. It was tough on me and my entire family. And when we all lose that hour, I'm reminded just how important good, deep, rich sleep is for my attitude, my cognitive function, and my overall ability to just show up. This is why I love Helix mattresses. My Helix mattress has helped me get to sleep faster and sleep more deeply. So I wake up refreshed. I love, love, love it. I also know that a big reason why my kids don't fight me very much on going to bed is because they sleep in luxury on their Helix mattresses. Helix offers a mattress for every person's sleep style. If you run hot at night, if you've got concerns with your spine, if you Sleep on your back, your side or your stomach, whatever Helix has got you. Plus Helix offers a hundred night trial and every Helix mattress comes with a 10 or 15 year warranty. So really there's no risk. Let's make the most of your sleep this spring. Take the Helix Sleep Quiz just like I did and you'll find the perfect mattress for you in about two minutes. Go to helixsleep.com DeLoney today and get 20% off site wide for their spring savings event. That's 20% off everything at Helix. H E L I X helixsleep.com DeLoney with Helix Better sleep starts right now. I've been on board with the benefits of red light therapy for a long time. And that's why I'm so excited to tell you about my friends at Bon Charge. Our lives are lived almost entirely inside under the harrowing glow of fluorescent lights, little screens, medium sized screens and big screens. And all the stuff affects our mood, our sleep, our anxiety. And studies are showing it. And this is why I love Bond Charge. Bon Charge is a world leader in red light therapy and EMF blocking gear. I use their red light therapies every single day. Red light therapy can help boost your mood, reduce stress and help with sleep. I use my red light therapy panels, the infrared sauna blanket, my EMF mat, all of it. And listen up. If your skin looks tired, check out Bond Charge's red light mask for skin recovery, collagen production and improved blood flow. I've got the mask and I'm so excited to use it. Just wear it 10 minutes a few times a week for fresher skin easily, no creams or appointments. It's lightweight and it's Cordless. Go to boncharge.com DeLoney and use coupon code DeLoney to save 15%. That's BonCharge. B O N C-H-A-R-G-E.com DeLoney and use coupon Code DeLoney to save 15%. All right, let's go out to Tampa, Florida and talk to Steve. Hey Steve. What's up, brother?

[Steve]

Hey, Dr. John, thanks a lot for taking the time to take my call.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Heck yeah, man. What's up?

[Steve]

So, just going to cannonball in, I guess. Let's do it. So I met my wife on a dating app in late 23 and she found out she was pregnant in early 24 and was yours.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Was it yours?

[Steve]

Yes.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Steve]

And so August, I am a father of a beautiful baby girl. And so my life kind of changed, you know, basically overnight. I went from being Single. Not really a bachelor, but definitely single to wife, kids.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

So you got married? Y'all went and got married?

[Steve]

We got married, yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. Was that a good decision?

[Steve]

I mean, I feel like it was, I feel like she was, she was pretty, like, definitely open. Like, she definitely went, like, full, full feet in. Like, I did. Like, she was like, yes, I want to do this. I want to, you know, continue to build our relationship. Yes. It's going to look different because we're, we're going to be married and we're going to have a kid. But I, I, we have, I feel like we have enough of a foundation there that we can do that. That's, that was what she said to me.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Enough of a foundation. We had 60 whole days. Like, we're, we're in. All right.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. Y'all are in it, dude. So your baby is a year old now.

[Steve]

She's little. Six. Six months.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Six months.

[Steve]

She was born August of 24.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. Okay. Yeah, yeah, sorry. I'm great with math. All right, so six months old. So your whole life is like a human explosion. Okay.

[Steve]

Yeah, literally, sometimes. So I, you know, she, of course, she had her maternity leave and after that, you know, of course, as we have discussed several times on the show, childcare is very expensive. So I said, okay, I'll take on the burden of, you know, being a stay at home dad. I also work full time, so I do it work. So it's very hit or miss whether I'm busy or, like, a lot of the time it's very slow. It's a lot of. I do have a lot of downtime for my job, so I'm basically getting paid to take care of her and run the house.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

What does she do for a living?

[Steve]

She's a, she works in skilled nursing.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. All right.

[Steve]

So I, you know, I took all this on and so I'm working full time, I'm taking care of the baby full time, doing all the household chores, and I just feel like I'm kind of lost somewhere. Like, I, like, where am I? And then kind of. To add on to this, I'm legally blind. I can see. I have. I'm basically nearsighted, essentially. But I can't drive. So there's no, you know, there's no going out on the weekend. There's no me driving anywhere or doing anything like that. So I hate to use the word like prisoner.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Right.

[Steve]

But some days I wake up and I do feel that way.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Sure.

[Steve]

And so before all this started, I kind of, my social kind of outlet was video games because obviously I can't just get up and go to the bar or go to bowling every weekend. It's very difficult for me to do those things, even with Uber and whatever, you know, So I was always, that's kind of always been my social outlet. That's been my, you know, mental outlet to just shut everything else off and, you know, go blow stuff up for a couple hours or whatever, you know, And I feel like now like that's just completely gone. And I feel horrible for feeling that. Like I feel selfish for, for wanting that time. It's just, I hope that, hope I'm making sense.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, totally. I guess I'm, I'm, I guess I'm, I'm, I'm trying to think of the right words. I, I, I, I won't try to get cute with it. I like, dude, if you should be feeling overwhelmed, there's nothing wrong with you, okay? Like, you're working a full time job. You're a full time caretaker. Your wife goes and works a very difficult job. You've also got a considerable limitation, like a physical limitation. Yeah, you should totally be feeling overwhelmed. And yes, most of the time I get this call or have this conversation, it's in reverse, right? The guy runs off to work and wife is trying to work from home and manage everything. So that's but that prisoner language, I hear that over and over and over and over again. So I don't say that to make you, I, I want you to know you're not crazy, okay? And there's nothing for you to feel guilty about. There's nothing for you to feel wrong. Like, like you don't do anything wrong. Okay? In fact, you're doing a pretty heroic thing. You're doing a whole bunch of stuff all at the same time. And you're doing it in a, an unclassical way. And so it can feel really isolating because you don't, none of your other guy friends are probably doing something similar, but no way. Yeah, but, but no, there's nothing wrong with you, okay? Like you're stepping up and taking care of your responsibilities and y'all trying to make it work. What I wish every single parent of a new, of a new baby knew. And by the way, can we also be honest? You're still trying to work out how to be married to this person. You don't know them that well.

[Steve]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Like you think you know them well, you don't. And so you're figuring that out what marriage even looks like, what does love look like? How do we keep Roman romance alive? How do we even. We're not even keeping it alive. How do we continue to build romance? Right. All this stuff is new. How do you be married to somebody who deals with secondary traumatic stress all day long? How does she be married to somebody who struggles with sight limitations? Like, y'all are figuring all this stuff out. It's a lot. So feeling overwhelmed is right. Okay. What I wish every new parent would do would be to sit down with their partner and just make a plan for 90 days, three months, and then revisit that plan. And because what most couples do is they try to create the rest of their life. The day the baby's born, I'm going to stay at home forever. That's a bold proclamation. When you don't know what's going to happen financially, you know what's going to happen. You may wake up and realize, I hate being trapped in this house, or, I am going back to work forever. And then you realize, I don't care about what anyone else with this corporation wants me to do. I want to be with my kid. Right. So if you do it three months at a time, then. And you're always planning on coming back to the table saying, how are you? How are you? It gives each other an opportunity to drop your shoulders and for her to say, I want to go three, four time because I'm missing this baby. Or it allows you to say, hey, I'm getting to the end of the day, and I'm completely fried, and I just want an hour of unplug with my video game nerd friends. Or, hey, we've got to go to I've got to get out of this house. When you get home, I know you're tired, too, but I need you to, like, take us all in the car, and we're going to go to a local park and just be outside. And I know our baby's a lump of human, but I want to walk around with you. I just need to get out of the house. And so you're. You're renegotiating and not negotiating in a win. Like, oh, somebody wins and somebody loses. But maybe a better word is you're reimagining it every. Every three months. And that way, it gives you permission to say, hey, I don't like this arrangement, or parts of this arrangement aren't working, or, I can't carry this full load like this, and she gets to come to the table and say the same thing. Does that make sense?

[Steve]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But, dude, the greatest gift you can give that kid and your brand new wife is for you to be whole. And that means you got to be honest about what it means to be whole.

[Steve]

Yeah. And we've had the conversation about me, you know, unplugging for an hour or whatever. And her comeback to that is I work 50 hours a week, I'm away from you and her, and I don't want to take away any time from our family so that you can go be by yourself or you know, be with your online friends, whatever it is.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I get that. But also, I mean, it's a negotiation, right? It's a reimagination. And I'll say, how cool is it that she comes home from a super stressed job and she looks at you and says, I want to be with you. And also in reverse, how many exhausted fried moms slash professionals when dad gets home from his 60 hour week, says, you're taking the kids, I need some time off. Right. It's just a common thing. It may be for a year, you're playing video games after the house is asleep and that just may be when that's got to be for you. And that's just part of being a dad and a husband and making a sacrifice.

[Steve]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And by the way, I'm been married for 23 years and I still do most of my down the hatch nerd work, like reading journal articles and reading like really deep. I do that at night after the house was asleep because that's when I have an hour of focus. And that is not taking away from something else that I also deem important because I don't want to get into a competition between something I love, which is researching mental health nerd stuff, and my family. I love, I love my family more than life itself. And I also have this passion about this other stuff. I love it. And so I don't want ever those things to compete. And so I'm going to do what I got to do during the day and I'm going to do what I get to do during the day and that's be with my loved ones. And then I'm going to carve an hour out at night. And some nights I go to bed because I'm tired, I'm exhausted, and that's okay.

[Steve]

Yeah. And it's just been a lot and I try and power through. You know, I do the normal guy thing. Right. Like you've talked about dozens of times, like just power through. Like that's our culture now is that we're exposing expected to do that with Little or no, you know, thanks or little. Little to no, you know, you know, appreciation. And I, I've expressed that to her and we've gotten a lot better. I think she's gotten a lot better about expressing that as well. It's just. Yeah, it's just a lot sometimes.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, it's a lot. But dude, both of you give yourself a ton, a metric dump truck, ton of grace you're trying to feed. It's like to become a husband, become. Continue to become a. Continue to improve professionally and to be a new dad and to be a stay at home dad and to deal with physical limitations all at the same time. You are trying to do an oil change while your car is flying down the highway at 80 miles an hour. That's hard. You're gonna get some oil on you on the car and on the ground, period. Right?

[Steve]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

What I want you and your wife to do is build in natural back to the table moments. That way it doesn't have to be in a huge, like, you hear me say this on the show all the time. Turn the lights on and turn the music off. You don't have to do that when you build it in. When every week you'll get together and say, hey, what's our budget for the month? Hey. Or how we doing financially? How are we doing? Like, what's our sex life like? Hey, how are you hanging in there? I'm wiped, right? Or she can say, hey, I had six. I had six. Like, like major traumas. I'm fried this week. This weekend I just need to unplug. And you might be thinking I was about to say that too, but I'm going to power through this weekend because we have a six month old. And then next weekend I'm going to really unplug. Right? Some. There is give and take during these seasons. There just is everybody's sacrificing. But she doesn't get to come home and do the classic, the more traditional male line, which is, I work so hard, I get to come home and just do what? She didn't get to do that either. Right? Both of y'all are coming to the table because if it was reversed and you were calling me being like, I work so hard and she works a full time job and stays at home with a kid and does everything and she's blind and can't drive, but I just want to come home and chill, I would. You know what I'd say to you, right? I'd be all over you too.

[Steve]

So absolutely.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

The same thing applies to her. But I would love it if you said, hey, starting this week, I want to start planning a Sunday night. Like 35 or 45 minutes. Let's just exhale. And depending on what kind of nursing she does, whether it's trauma or she's got a set patient load, and she can tell you, this week's going to be this straightforward or this week's going to be a hard one, or if she works trauma, you just know it's just going to be hard because that's just the nature of that job. And y'all can begin to exhale and say, okay, what do we need this week? How can we love each other this week? And on Wednesday night and Friday night after you're in bed, I'm gonna go nerd out with my nerd friends on the Internet. And Saturday, we're gonna go as a family and go outside because we gotta get some sunlight in our life. And on and on, but begin to map that out. And then every 30 days, put a star on the calendar. And this is a like, everybody okay? Is everybody okay with the arrangement that we're making? Because we made this arrangement, which means we can change it at any time. And if she says, I hate this job, cool. If you say, I need some help around the house, maybe you're not going to go full time childcare, but maybe you're going to hire a sixth grader or somebody that will take the kid three hours, you know, Monday, Wednesday, Friday, and just go play so you can exhale a little bit and get some stuff done. Right? Whatever that looks like. But we're going to negotiate that every three months and then we're going to go from there. But, bro, give yourself some grace, man. Y'all are in it, in it, in it. And I'm proud of you for doing the next right thing, no matter how hard it is. I see that on you, man, and I'm proud of you. Keep going. We'll be right back. All right, let's talk about delete me. Ignoring a problem doesn't make it go away. We can all pretend that scrolling and emailing and buying things online and everything that we watch on the digital devices we all have, we can just pretend that we can go about our lives as though every single thing we do isn't being monitored and that our personal information aren't being taken and sold to scumbags on the Internet. But pretending it's not real doesn't make it true. The truth is, the digital world is the wild west, and it's A place where your information is bought and sold and stolen without you ever knowing. Think about it. Have you ever gotten a sketchy email that somehow knew way too much about you? Or have you ever had your phone blow up with robocalls? That's not bad luck. Your personal information is everywhere on the Internet and spammers and scammers are hungry to cash in on it unless you do something. And that's why I use and recommend Delete Me. They scour the Internet to find your data and they remove it from those creepy data broker websites. They've reviewed over 35,000 sites for me and removed my data from hundreds of them, which saved me countless hours. When you sign up with Delete Me, it's decluttering your digital life and removing a source of anxiety at the same time. So stop scammers and spammers before the problems start and take back control with Delete Me. Get protected with delete Me today and get 20% off all of the delete Me plans. That comes out to less than nine bucks a month. Go to joindelete me.com DeLoney right now. That's join j o I n join deleteme.com DeLoney all right, we are back. Hey, don't forget, I'm out on the road having. I'm having the time of my. What if me and Dave did that dance?

[Sarah]

Who lifts who? I think Dave has to lift you.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, I can jump high. Dave. I don't know. Dave's the most athletic 64 year old I've ever met in my life. When he gets to skiing, it's amazing.

[Sarah]

It's amazing who I want to see. Probably neither, to be honest.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

But I don't think anybody needs to see it.

[Sarah]

I don't think anybody needs to see it.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Come catch me live on the road. We are having an amazing time in these rad theaters all over the country. Next up, I'm going to be in Phoenix on May 5th. If you are in Phoenix, please, let's. Let's have a. Let's have a wild event. A wild party. Dude, it's going to be a blast. Fort Worth, Texas. I expect all my Texas brothers and sisters to show up on May 7th. And then Kansas City. We got to run this one back. After what happened with Philly. We need you, man. We're going to make everything all okay again. May 9th in Kansas City. Come check us out. Go to ramseysolutions.com tour. Man, I cannot wait to hang out. And don't forget to like or subscribe the show on the Internet. Tell overlords you love this show. Love it, love it, love it, love it. All right, let's go out to Bozeman, Montana and talk to a bby. What's up, Abby? How we doing?

[Abby]

Hey, good morning.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Good morning. What's up?

[Abby]

Long time listener. I'm a longtime listener, first time caller. I'm one of the original 17 from way back in the day.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Well, thanks for getting the courage to call. It only took you four years, Abby.

[Abby]

I know, I'm just playing.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

No, hey, thanks for being with us for so long, man. That's awesome.

[Abby]

Yeah. So I have a 17 year old daughter. She's a senior in high school. She's bright, she's kind, she's beautiful, she's generous, she's very smart and she, she's romantic. She has all the feels. She kind of takes after her mother a little bit.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Just like you raised her right.

[Abby]

And she's got a boyfriend.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Oh, gross.

[Abby]

I know he's a nice kid, but is not the most motivated and they are not going to college together. He'll be a couple hours away, so driving distance. But I'm worried that their relationship is going to interfere with her college experience and that she's going to be fixated on him and kind of avoid school or other new relationships at school that are like right in front of her face. So how do I throw some cold water on this?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I don't think that's going to happen.

[Abby]

That's not what I want to hear.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's. I don't think it's going to. I mean, I spent my whole career working with college kids and I used to tell them in orientation, just break up. Now it will just save you some time. And A, I was always amazed at how many people went home and just broke up, like they needed an excuse to do that. And B, a few didn't. And then they ended up getting married. But that was like, I mean, you're talking one out of a thousand. Maybe one out of every like every two or three years. A high school romance. Made it right. I, I just. That happening is very, very rare.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

What I think is happening is your daughter's about to leave you this amazing, wonderful woman and young woman. And that's just hard.

[Abby]

Yeah, it is hard. I think if you raise them right, you should get to keep them.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I do.

[Abby]

But instead they, they grow up and they launch and they be their own person.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

It's. And it's the best and the worst. My wife, when my son was born, I think I've said this on the show. She said, hey, we have one job and that is to raise. And I was like, oh, here we go. Like ra good man. And she said, raise a kid that we like being around. And it just now has occurred me. My son is 14. He's halfway through high school. His. I mean, his freshman year of high school. I love having him around. He's hilarious, he's funny, he can be serious, he's thoughtful about things. He makes fun of me in just the right appropriate way. Like. And the thought of him being gone in three years, like I'm going to lose somebody that I like spending time with. You know what I mean? And I didn't. That I was so ready to go. My dad was so ready to get me out of the house. Like, it's just not like that. And I have to be careful not to be pretty sad. And so that way I don't miss the awesome moments that I've got right now. Yeah, but she's gonna love. She's gonna feel like she loves this dumb boyfriend and as much as a 17 year old can love anything, she's gonna be in love and. Oh, gross.

[Abby]

Oh, they're in love.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Oh, I know, of course. But have you taken her out? Did you have boys in your life that you as a romantic that you over loved?

[Abby]

I married the first one.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Oh, gross.

[Abby]

I know.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I don't want to wait.

[Abby]

I know.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

All right, dude.

[Abby]

Yeah, like Dawson's Creek in college.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Oh, so you got married as a freshman. Oh, you met him as a freshman.

[Abby]

You are dating. We met. Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Abby]

Fall of freshman year and married within a year and a half. So, yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay.

[Abby]

It was.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Have you taken your daughter out for breakfast and had that conversation about. It was the greatest thing ever and I kind of wish I'd waited.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay, Y'all have had that talk.

[Abby]

Yeah. And just wanting, you know, and it's gone through her high school. You know, they started dating in the fall and we've seen some change in relationships with her at school. We've seen her disengage from some of the activities that she once was really into. And so that's hard to hear and see. And one of her teachers said, you know, she doesn't recognize her anymore, that all of her energy has just gone into this boy.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Well, and it's not too late to put some boundaries on it if you want to do that.

[Abby]

Well, we, we. So what we've done is we've said, you know, we've got to take a step back, you know, you can see them one on one like twice a week. And if you want to see them anymore, you know, meet him at a basketball game, go out with friends, do those kind of things. And so we've tried to do that, but she's smarter than me and she's kind of sneaky and she can come in. I don't want to have to catch and discipline every little thing. I want to. I don't know.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I got that. Is she sexually active?

[Abby]

No.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Are you certain?

[Abby]

No. Yeah, I'm pretty sure not.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I mean, we've had that conversation.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Have that conversation. Because it is that infatuation switch. It's not always, but it is very often. Almost what feels like a mania to see each other at 17, 18, is almost always have some sort of physical intimacy linkage to it. And it may just be holding hands, maybe just. I feel so good holding hands. I feel so good just kissing you. But that's. That's definitely worthy of a conversation.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Have you sat down and said, like, hey, the light's going out in your eyes? I'm. I'm. People are noticing. I'm noticing not people. I don't want to blame other people. I'm missing my daughter.

[Abby]

Yes.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Okay. How'd that. How'd she hear it?

[Abby]

She said, I'm trying. I'm trying to. To do the things that. That we want her to do. To engage or. I don't know. She just. She's come back and said that this school stuff that she's been interested in is now dumb. That she doesn't like the people that she's lost those relationships.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And there may be some truth to that. Well, I. But I always. Here's what I always want to look at with a high school kid. I always want to look at trend lines.

[Sarah]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And if I watch a kid, suddenly their grades fall. If I watch a kid and certainly the things that they've loved their whole life, they just fall off a cliff. And that's different than, like, hey, I'm a senior. I don't want to play football anymore. I don't play volleyball anymore. Like, it becomes a job, and I don't want to do that anymore. That. That's different than I just don't go outside at all or I just am glad.

[Abby]

I think there's some of that glued to my phone about just pulling away. Yeah. I think. I think she's kind of pulling back just as that senioritis and getting ready to change and.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Sure.

[Abby]

I. That's a big time in life. It's Very much so. Deciding who you're going to be outside of your parents and growing up and going to college.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And by the way, that fear that you have, that, oh my gosh, this really wonderful, great, amazing person that we've grown to like, not only love because we're their parents, but just value them as a human, they're about to leave. She feels that too. And sometimes having a boyfriend gives somebody permission to have that pain put somewhere else. And my only concern with a 16 or 17 or 18 or 19 or 25 year old is that they channel that into healthy behaviors. Because a way to numb that pain can be sex and a way to numb that pain can be sneaking alcohol. And a way to numb that pain can be sneaking Xanax. And I know that's not gonna happen to your kid, except that for 20 years I sat with teenagers and their parents because it happened to their kid.

[Abby]

Yeah, right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And it's, it's terrifying. But that's why I'm going to be pretty clear eyed and go straight in, straight into it. And if I feel like I'm losing my kid, not my kid is head over heels on some romance, I'm fine with that. In fact, I want them to practice some of that while they're in my house because they're about, she's about to be 18 and wheels off. Right, right. And so I want him to practice some of that head over heelsness in my house. But man, if I see the light going out in my kids eyes, I'm gonna get involved with that.

[Abby]

And so what does that look like? Like, how do you do you restrict time together? Do you? I don't know.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I mean, you can do whatever you want. You're the parent. And there is a balance between sitting your kid, running away and turning your kid into like, when you say, like she's kind of sneaky. I don't want to have a sneaky relationship with my kid. I want him to tell the truth.

[Abby]

Right, right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And also I'm not going to shy away from, hey, dude, I'm losing you. Yeah, I only see this, only hear about this when people have discovered how fun sex is. And I need to know, like.

[Steve]

I.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Need to know where you are.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And you might, that might be the time for you to say, like, dude, I was 18 too. I was 19 also. And I felt head over heels. And I don't regret my life, but I wish I'd had some things back. Maybe not. Or maybe it's the alternative. Maybe it's like, man, I felt head over heels. And I remember how hard it was to stay plugged into my values, to be safe, to be smart or whatever.

[Abby]

Yeah, we've had that conversation. And I think that it's just distant, right? Like, I fear that she's one who's going to have to learn things by going through them. Like, she doesn't seem to. And I just don't want her to fall.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Sure.

[Abby]

Flat on her face.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Have you tried making a weekly hay for the next until the day we drop you off every week? You're gonna have breakfast with me.

[Abby]

No, that's a good idea.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

I would. I would say this is mandatory. You don't get to miss this. Or I'll take your phone away. Like, I mean, I would do something caustic on the other end of it, right? And with a smile on my face too. But like, I'm gonna be. You have to do this. And here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna send you the questions for human. It's going to sound kind of nutty. I'm going to send you the questions for humans couples deck 1, 2, and 3. And I know that sounds weird because you and your daughter aren't a romantic couple, but you can get some insight into how she is metabolizing this new relationship by asking some of those questions in that deck. And I want you all to go to breakfast together and just say we're gonna do 10 of these questions. Oh, God. Are you serious, Mom? Yes. And it may be that breakfast one, breakfast two, breakfast three are annoying, annoying, annoying. And then it's breakfast six out of nowhere that she's like, hey, I don't know how to get out of this thing. Or he's really pressuring me too. Or I took. Yeah, I took Xanax for the first time. I took three of them and it felt really good. I don't know what to do. But this is where you begin to not just talk to her. Or more importantly, most parents talk at their teenagers. It's a place for their nervous system to know even though their head is like, they're just old fuddy daddy parents. Or they don't understand. Or their head can do that all day long, but their prefrontal cortex hasn't developed yet. But their nervous system will know she's safe.

[Abby]

Okay?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She keeps showing up.

[Abby]

Now, is this helpful if my husband goes too?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Like, he needs to do his own. He needs to do a different one.

[Abby]

Do it on his own.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah.

[Abby]

Okay.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah. And maybe the rule is for every time you go be with this boy. You have to go on a date with me.

[Abby]

Okay?

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Y'all get to decide what these rules are. But this is going to cost y'all money, and more importantly, it's going to cost y'all time. And what I'm telling you is that's the single greatest investment you can make in this young woman right now, okay? And I know this is very unpopular. I am not going to allow a 17 year old to put themselves in situations when I know they're being unsafe sexually, when they're being unsafe with substance abuse. Just because most of my career was dealing with the ramifications of that. I was afraid to like give boundaries because I didn't want them. I thought they were going to rebel. And then now I'm looking at an addiction. A 19 year old who can't. Right. Who can't function. Or I'm talking to a 20 year old who's got a new baby. And so I'm. I'm gonna err on the side of not being liked and keeping my kids safe. Then the. Well, I don't know. Right? So I'm gonna head right into that. And I know parents don't like to hear that, but I'm also gonna not be harsh without being loving too. And that's where this time, like, we're gonna go to breakfast. We're going to breakfast. We're going to breakfast. We're going to breakfast. And for. I'll tell you this, as my son's entered into high school, now we've started doing, now we might not do this forever, but now we alternate. Who's got a big question for the other person? So the one two weeks ago was I asked my son, hey, we're going to talk about the death penalty. Pro and cons. When do you think it's appropriate? Is it, Is it appropriate? Is it not? And dude, we had an amazing hour long conversation about the death penalty. What it does, what's the actual statistics on it, what's the data on it? A guy at my church is an attorney who works with death row inmates. And so he's got actual data about how insane some of it is. And so we had a great conversation the next week. It was his job. And he said, I want to know what makes somebody a ride or die friend for you? Dude, we talked for the whole lunch on that. It was amazing conversation. But again, those are big conversations and maybe you can make a list of. I'm gonna ask you like three big questions and then you're gonna ask me three Big questions. So you've got to come up with what you want to talk about and give her an opportunity.

[Abby]

Okay, I can do that.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yes. And I don't think this relationship will last for whatever it's worth. Although you were the one in a thousand. Well, no, you met as freshmen. So y'all met at college, but.

[Abby]

Technically, yeah, we were young.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Yeah, you were.

[Abby]

Yeah, I would. I just. I want to get her to a fully mature frontal lobe without, you know, like a felony, a pregnancy, an addiction. What are the other big ones? I don't know. Just those big things in life that follow you everywhere.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Like, did you have felonies?

[Abby]

No.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Did you or your husband struggle with addiction?

[Abby]

No.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

Does your daughter know in her nervous system that she's fully and deeply loved?

[Abby]

She does.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

She's probably gonna be all right.

[Abby]

I know, I know. And when I look at just all the things that, you know, God's divine intervention and he's got his hand on her and she's got to walk through some things. I know, but I just.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And I'm not going to ever get upset with a 17 year old for being in love and being curious about things that feel good. But I am going to be really direct with my wisdom there. Right. And that's that curiosity over judgment. When you talk to a 17 year old like, you should not be. That's. They're going to blow you off. But when you're like, oh, yeah, dude, sex rules.

[Abby]

Yeah.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And man, it's not safe for a 17 year old. Your heart's not ready.

[Abby]

Right, right.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

And so have been able to have that conversation is just a different. A different tune. And I, as a parent, dude, I can't. I can't look myself in the mirror and say, I love my daughter knowing that I'm putting you in this situation. If this is what's going on, I. I wouldn't be who I said I am. Right. And that, I mean, the daughter you just described to me, she would understand that. She wouldn't like it. She would hate it and she'd be mad at you, but she would understand it. It's the same. I think I've mentioned this on the show. The number. The greatest compliment my son ever gave me was he was. We're having another disagreement about social media because I'm a Luddite and I won't let my son have it. And Snapchat especially, I think Snapchat's clinically insane for kids to have that. Parents to give their kids Snapchat. But I told them I Finally said, hey, tell your friends at school that your dad is a loser and he sucks and he's an old man and he just won't let me have it. And he, in frustration and exasperation, said, I can't say that because that's not true. And when he turned around, I was, I was like, oh, yeah, like, right? I, I, I, he gets it. And dude, I get it too. Nobody wants to be the only one or frustrated or whatever. But yeah, 17 is that transition time, man. And now we're not for you guys. Y'all are on the clock. You're on the countdown to it's almost time to go. It's almost time to go. And maybe your husband takes your daughter out and says, or you take your daughter out and ask, all right, what are the 10 or 15 things you think a good husband has? Let's see, does dad have those? What was, what are 10 or 15 things you want to wrap your head around when it comes to the person you'd like to marry? And that might be a way to get her to stop thinking about this kind of dud of a, of a 17 or 18 year old boyfriend, Begin to write some of these things down and y'all could talk about them like, oh, you think this one's a big deal? It's not. Oh, you think a six pack of abs is the most important thing? It's not. You think this is not a big deal. This is a huge deal. Right? And you can begin to have some of those conversations, and you got to be honest with you, where you and your husband are falling short of some of those, those things. So it just becomes a very authentic, vulnerable, direct, loving, curious conversation with your kid as she's making this transition from somebody you can boss around to somebody you're gonna have to influence positively and let her know you're gonna make dumb decisions. And I'll always be right here. Thanks for being a mom that cares. I have a feeling she's gonna, she's gonna be great. I have a feeling she's gonna be great. We'll be right back. Hey, good folks, listen, there's a lot of talk these days about the ingredients in what we eat and what we drink. Everybody's talking about the food dyes and the colors and the extra nasty chemicals, the pesticides. Listen, I'm not a nutrition scientist, but I know that none of this sounds good. This is one of the reasons I love organifi I trust their ingredients for me, for my family, and especially for my kids. I don't have to worry about anything. Organifi products are certified organic, non gmo, gluten free, pesticide free and herbicide free. And they make it super easy to get your daily dose of superfoods, especially with their green juice and the red juice. Organifi green juice is a detoxifying mix of 11 superfoods like Ashwagandha that help boost your immune system, reduce stress and help you feel good. Organifi's red juice is filled with antioxidants and it recharges your mind and your body with natural energy. It's focus without the caffeine jitters. And trust me, I know about caffeine jitters. Finally, don't forget Organifi's greatest hits album. The Organifi starter kit with red and green juice travel packs and magnesium capsules for easy access to good stuff even when you're on the go right now you can save 20% on the starter kit at organifi.com deloney with promo code deloney right now go to o R G-A N I F I Organifi.com Deloney and use code Deloney for 20% off the kit and everything else on their site. Go right now. All right, we are back. And Ben, can we cue the heartbreaking music? Do we have any sad music? I'll put it in post. All right. I don't have it ready. Good. We'll put some sad. So we have to say goodbye to one of our greatest best gang members. Finally. Kelly's gotten fired. I'm just kidding. It's not Kelly. But this is the last show with the great and powerful Taylor. We'll be heading off. And so Taylor joined the team right as it was floundering. Kelly didn't know what she was doing. Taylor joins. And we flew past the million mark. The show has been incredibly successful. One of the greatest professionals I've worked with and so we're gonna miss you, gangster. One of the the the the OG team members, man. So thanks for being a part of the gang for so long. It's awesome. Do what she's saying. Meet things about me. No.

[Sarah]

She says she hates us all cuz. Cuz we're putting her on the spot.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

You don't have to say anything. We're just going to shout you out, say that we love you and party. This is when we should. So we've come to the end of the road. I tried out for Boys to Men. I sent my audition tape. I never heard back. I think they're still just working through.

[Sarah]

Probably I. I think you should expect.

[Dr. John DeLoney]

That response shot anytime now. I'm a good, like, mid baritone tenor. I can get it. Yeah. Any minute now. Yeah, but, Taylor, you weren't the gangsters. Thank you for being on our team and for getting us to a place where I can finally look at my family and say, we're being successful. So it's kind of good. Thank you for letting me join the team. It's awesome. I love working with you. You're the best. Appreciate you guys. Everybody else, stay in school, don't do drugs. Love you guys. And if you got good, awesome team members that you get to work with at your professional job, make sure you tell them that you appreciate them. Love you guys. Bye.