← The Dr. John Delony Show
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- [00:06]
Dustin Nickerson
It's not your job to take satisfaction in your work. You didn't make a vow to be happy in your job. You made a vow to be there for your wife, your family. I am not talented enough to not work hard. I wish I was. The person that needs to sacrifice the most for this is me. Because this is my thing. Not my family, not my kids. Maybe that's why firstborns do so well in life, by the way. That they're like, I was barely raised, you know?
- [00:38]
John
What's going on? What's going on? This is John with a special interview with a great. Like, one of the funniest guys on the planet, and his name is Dustin Nickerson. I've been a huge fan of his for a long time. He is a comedian that travels the country in comedy clubs. He opens for Nate Bargazzi in the big stadiums. He's just one of the best. He is great. And in this interview, we talk about marriage, we talk about humor, we talk about some heavy stuff, and we also disagree because he seems to think that Starbucks is the worst coffee on the planet. He'll go into detail. But listen, I've been getting your feedback about this interview series, and every single person I'm hearing from is saying, more, more, more. They love real, honest, raw conversations. So unbuckle your seatbelt, lean back, enjoy yourself, and listen to my conversation with one of the funniest guys on the planet, Dustin Nickerson. So one of the most common pain points I get from couples is
- [01:50]
Dustin Nickerson
how
- [01:50]
John
do you balance work and how do you balance relationship? Right. And one of the downstream conversations that we always end up in is, husband works this job, but he really wants to be fill in the blank.
- [02:01]
Dustin Nickerson
Right? Right.
- [02:01]
John
Or wife is staying at home and wants to do this, or she's working, but also really wants to do this.
- [02:06]
Dustin Nickerson
Right.
- [02:06]
John
And I often will have to say, like, hey, that thing you're doing is taking up this much time at this point, is has value because you love it, but it's a hobby. How do you find that balance between telling somebody you're about to cross from hobby into business? Because that's a real thing.
- [02:26]
Dustin Nickerson
This is why, even though it is my favorite Pixar movie, Hear me out. I'm going somewhere with this. The message of the movie the Incredibles is a terrible message, which, if you remember the Incredibles, he is only happy if he's doing the job he wants, which is bad fatherhood. Like, Mr. Incredible was a bad father, that he can't be engaged. Remember that scene, Bob, engage. Yeah. And you're like, so he's only a hands on dad and when he's happy, when he's happy, that's a terrible message.
- [03:00]
John
So I, God, I've seen that a thousand times. I never thought.
- [03:04]
Dustin Nickerson
You'll never look at it the same. The first, because now that you are like, when you're a father and you're a husband, you're like, it doesn't matter. It's not your job to take satisfaction in your work, it's your job. You didn't make a vow to be happy in your job. You made a vow to be there for your wife, your family, and to support your family. So I have a very unique story in comedy in that I started late when I went to my first open mic. I'd been married for nine years and I had two kids. And shortly thereafter my wife got pregnant with our third kid. So my career has been and will always be incredibly secondary to that in the sense that I had them before it and I want to have them after it. So I spent a ton of time at home. I mean, I worked my butt off on the road too, but I, I do most of my work at home for three to five days a week, depending on the week. I'm like father of the year, hands on. I won't take a call from my management during the week. I'm like, we talk on Saturdays when I'm on the road. That's what we do. So I, I'm different than that. But the. That being said, at 27, I did show up to an open mic with a day job. And for me, it was the only one that can sacrifice, or I should say, the person that needs to sacrifice the most for this is me. Because this is my thing. Not my family, not my kids. Meaning the things that someone has to give up has to be me. So it was like sleep, Sleep. Sleep was the main one. Sleep was the main one. You're like, this is late at night.
- [04:39]
John
Enjoy.
- [04:40]
Dustin Nickerson
I'm gonna. Yeah, I'm gonna. Yeah, the mike's not. But like, I would get the kids down, so I'll just give an answer. So the first club that I got passed at was the Comedy Store in La Jolla. I live in San Diego, so. And when I got passed there, I told them I would like, can I go on last? I want to go on last every time. That's usually at the end of like 15, 20 comics. Because that would be like 10:30pm Two reasons. The main reason is cause all my kids would be down. Everyone would Be asleep. I'd been home. I got home from work, I was there for dinner. I did all the stuff. My wife is tired, she was pregnant at the time and she would go to bed too and I would go out and I would do the spot. And now I personally benefited from it because if you can go get laughs at 10:30 after they've seen 15 plus you like and the room is cleared out, barely anybody's there. I would follow some who knows what, but it's stuff like that or like for the better part of two or three years. I mean I would be gone on the weekends, which was hard. Don't. I'm not cheering to say my wife didn't sacrifice cuz she absolutely does. I'm. I'm in the middle of being gone for two weeks right now. But it is easier now that I come home with checks. Right, right, right.
- [05:49]
John
Deposits. Yeah.
- [05:50]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [05:50]
John
So.
- [05:51]
Dustin Nickerson
But that being said, I always tell people like, I give it up in a heartbeat. If my wife said, hey, this is too much. We. You got to go take. You got to go manage an outback in Salem, Oregon. I'd be like, great. I can be happy there because I'm. You bring me way more happiness than comedy. Comedy is great, but it's still a job, you know.
- [06:07]
John
So we were talking back earlier before we on air and I'll get to this place. You did something that I saw from an odd. As an audience member. And whether it's me pretending being a poser in your comic world or like the live events that I do, you're
- [06:26]
Dustin Nickerson
getting on stage, you're not opposed.
- [06:27]
John
Well, yeah, I appreciate that but. But like I'm on the road a lot too with corporate event stuff and you followed a comic who just had a barn burner set. Yeah, like had the whole room was. It was over. And I was imagining. I remember in the Gap when the, the. The host comes out, I remember looking at my wife being like, I wouldn't know what to do now. Right. And you came out and it's the most impressive thing I've ever seen, but you held your own. I mean you just were you. And it took the audience a minute and only. Yeah. We talked like. I don't think you came out and tried to drop a huge funny joke to get like, hey guys, look at me. It was like, nope, this is who I am. But that takes. It takes an incredible skill. But man, there's a rootedness to that.
- [07:17]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [07:18]
John
That is like if this doesn't go well, she backstage still loves me. My kids still like me. Where does that. Or if I've got to go to Outback, I'm gonna be. I'll be all right.
- [07:28]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [07:29]
John
Where does that come.
- [07:29]
Dustin Nickerson
Probably find some open mics, of course. Yeah, yeah. In Salem.
- [07:33]
John
Yeah, yeah. Or you'd be on the. Be at the. At the local wherever, telling jokes. But.
- [07:38]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [07:39]
John
Well, where's the rootedness come from?
- [07:41]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Well, I was not. We can just say the name of the comic. Derek Stroop. Derek Stroop is so funny.
- [07:46]
John
Right.
- [07:47]
Dustin Nickerson
And I was annoyed that I had to follow him because I'm like, I gotta go work.
- [07:50]
John
He's funny and he's also a whirling dervish.
- [07:53]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh, yeah. He's like Sam Kinison up there. Yeah. He's a crusher. I was not nervous to follow him because, you know, when you're in and around the scene for a long time, and especially in la, which I go up to frequently, it's. It's. You know, I followed Bill Burr. You know, I followed the Theo. I followed all. Yeah. You know, it's like you follow Nikki Glazer, you feel whoever. And Derek is as funny, if not funnier than all of them. But you're like, I've done this before. It's. Oh, you just. Your brain goes, oh. It's one of these. You know, you've just seen enough that I don't get, like, if I have like a bad crowd or a crowd, all the different crowds now, you just. You don't even. You've just registered them all. I think I've seen almost every type of crowd you could see at this point. I mean, I'm in the 3,4000 sets at this point, so there's only so many.
- [08:47]
John
So you have a playbook.
- [08:49]
Dustin Nickerson
I have a playbook. If anything, I'd be excited to see a new one.
- [08:51]
John
Right, right. But that tells me it's reps.
- [08:55]
Dustin Nickerson
It's a thousand percent. I am not talented enough to not work hard.
- [09:00]
John
Gotcha.
- [09:01]
Dustin Nickerson
I wish I was. I wish I was like, God given talent and I could phone it in and everything was just laid out before me. It would have been so much easier, but I didn't get that. I'm like the reps. And every part of my career has just been like this. For the people listening, it's just a slow incline. Every once in a while a little bill and then every once in a while a little dip. But it's just been like that. So the rootedness. I don't know where the rootedness comes from other than, you know, I'VE I've especially, like, this side of, you know, 35, 40. I just try and root myself in gratefulness and focus not on the things that I want, but the things that I have. That's, like, was a big marriage changer for me. Like, that just kind of hit me a couple years ago, where it's very easy to think about the things that your spouse is not doing for you and then being like, oh, my God, look at this unbelievable list of things that they do that show their love for me. You know, I had one the other day where I was like, you know, there's certain things that, like, I'll speak very, you know, somewhat graphically here, where you're like, man, you know, I wish maybe, like, physically things were like this. I wish my wife would, like, show more physical affection, because that would be like, love.
- [10:16]
John
Yeah.
- [10:17]
Dustin Nickerson
And then I watched her for an hour, like, sit with my child and help her with her math homework. And you're like, that's love. Yeah, that's. That's fantastic. That's like. I mean, that's unbelievable. That's. That's a real value right there. And, like, that kind of. And I think. I think about that with. I tried to. With life where, you know, it's not, man, if I had this. Man, if I had this, that'd be great. If I had this. But you're like, you know, I'm. I'm fairly rich in that regard. Like, I have, you know, a career that I like. It pays all the bills. We're not in debt. A wife that loves me and kids that get along. And, I mean, what more could you want? I live in San Diego. It's pretty great. I feel like, to complain really feels like they're like, all right, buddy. You're like. You're like, what are you. Are you complaining at the beach right now?
- [11:14]
John
Yeah.
- [11:14]
Dustin Nickerson
Every Christmas morning, we open presents, and then me and my wife go a walk on the beach. Let's cool it on the complaints. Nickerson. That's my single. My dad. Single dad who raised me is like, what in the world? He's worked for the union for 35 years. Throwing luggage into. Into planes in Anchorage, Alaska, during negative 20 is like, oh, yeah, you're not selling as many tickets in Nashville as you wanted. All right, which.
- [11:38]
John
Both the shows are sold out tonight, so there's that. So, okay, so I want to go back to take. Take the career. It's reps. And I got the advice when I. When I left my education world to come do this crazy Thing that we do in podcast. Right. Which was don't listen to your first six months or even your first year. Don't ever go back and listen to that because you'll have gotten so much better that it will be hard. It'll be hard.
- [12:06]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Yeah. You're like, oh, yeah, I was one of those. I was new.
- [12:09]
John
Oh, not good. Right. Take that back to the dad that just had a second kid that doesn't. That home feels like a failure factory. Yeah. And it's just, you know, where I am when. And I'm winning at work. I'm just going to go do that. I. I have felt a lot of parallels to going up on stage with three things you think are funny and they're not. And you find out the first two minutes like, oh, it's gonna be a painful 10 minutes.
- [12:36]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [12:36]
John
Because I missed it on these note cards I got. But I felt. I haven't felt that since. I didn't know. I didn't know what I didn't know when I brought a kid home.
- [12:46]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [12:47]
John
I just knew that I was in the way. And I felt like the best thing I could do is for my family is to back out.
- [12:54]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh, interesting, Right? Yeah.
- [12:56]
John
And that's the wrong impetus.
- [12:58]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [12:58]
John
When you look up and say, yes,
- [13:01]
Dustin Nickerson
you shouldn't have done that.
- [13:02]
John
But if I could. If I could look at it as, you know what, I'm gonna do this thing a thousand reps from now. I'm gonna be really good at being.
- [13:08]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, yeah, yeah. 100. Yeah.
- [13:09]
John
I don't know how to put that on the table where it's palatable for somebody other than to say, to get good at a thing, whether it's being married or whether it's being a dad or being a comic or being a welder, you got to go do it a thousand times.
- [13:22]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. I mean, unfortunately for your oldest kid.
- [13:26]
John
Yeah.
- [13:27]
Dustin Nickerson
You know, parenting is on the job training. It sucks for that oldest kid. I mean, I do a bit about it right now, but like the best thing I ever heard about parenting, I heard like a year ago. And that sucks for my 18 year old son. It sucks that I pick that gem up when he was a senior, leaving
- [13:48]
John
you as you go son.
- [13:50]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Maybe that's why firstborns do so well in life, by the way that they're like, I was barely raised. You know, we tried our best. So, you know, I. That's really well said. And I actually, I probably carry the most amount of guilt as a human. Like, you kind of pulled something up on me. There without knowing. So, like, what? Like sadness and genuine guilt on my mistakes as a young father.
- [14:14]
John
Oh, I've got that.
- [14:15]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [14:16]
John
It's a way.
- [14:17]
Dustin Nickerson
Losing my cool, you know, just like, huge. Doing this, wishing you didn't do. And I. And I, I. I think about it to this day. I can pinpoint mistakes that still keep me up at night. And my wife's like, hey, you going to talk to somebody about that or let. No, I'm going to bury it. No, no.
- [14:37]
John
My dad worked in the union. They told us to shove it down.
- [14:40]
Dustin Nickerson
I know. Yeah. So, yeah, there is something really to that. Now I will say that, you know, how old are your son? 16. He's 15 and my daughter's 9 and your daughter's 9. You know, my son is 18 now and went to college this year, and my daughter is a sophomore, so she's 16. And then my youngest is 10. Nine. No, 11. Sorry. They blur together.
- [15:06]
John
Lots of love in that house.
- [15:07]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, they. I know her name, I know her birthday. Sure. But the, like, if you made for us. We majored on the majors. Like, we. We modeled a good marriage. My kids, almost to a fault, know that our marriage comes before them and that we've missed, like, but we missed our youngest first day of kindergarten because we're like, hey, it's our anniversary. Bye.
- [15:42]
John
Which I think is actually the greatest gift you can give your kids.
- [15:45]
Dustin Nickerson
I think so, too. That's what I mean by major on majors of like. I've shown my son, I hope, how to be committed to one person and to love them, you know, sacrificially and provide for a family. And we. Now that my son is an adult legally, we're starting. I'm like, almost. It's very beautiful. I'm like, are we starting to see, like, some of the fruits of, like, being a close family and spending a lot of time together and going on vacations together and, like, maybe some of the lessons that you hammered over and over and over and over that you're like, are they getting any of this, you know, starting to maybe click a little more. It is very rewarding. Like, he's like, every time he comes back, I'm like, or I'll get little updates from him. Like, oh, you just needed to get away from us before you're like, oh, you know what? That dad of mine.
- [16:35]
John
Yeah.
- [16:35]
Dustin Nickerson
He might have had a little wisdom.
- [16:38]
John
My. My son got into the. I don't know how it. He popped up on his. He's got podcast now.
- [16:45]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh, okay.
- [16:46]
John
He went down a rabbit Hole with my show. And it was last year. We were fishing this summer. Yeah. Not talking. Just two guys facing the same direction. Not talking. Yeah. And he said, do you know all that stuff? And I was like, yeah, I went to a lot of graduate school for all that. He's like, but you, like, know that. Yeah, he's like, it's pretty good, man. It was like. It was like that little bitty.
- [17:11]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [17:11]
John
Oh, man. Huh.
- [17:12]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh, wow. Yeah. Yeah. My son, I remember he made it one year of high school football because he was 90 pounds as a freshman and. But I remember he came home and all I'd been since this kid played T ball and soccer, we'd always just said, dude, attitude and effort. That's all that matters. Attitude and effort. Just. It's just. It's how hard you try and the attitude. They have this. All that matters in life is attitude and effort. You try and do these little things. Same thing. Anytime he goes out now or I see him, I always say, I'll say that. And I'll say, be smart and be safe. Just like, little tidbits. Freshman coach, he comes home and he goes, dad, the coach, he gave us, like, this big speech today. And at the end, he was like, all we care about here is. Is how hard you work and the attitude that you have on it. And he was like. And it just made so much sense. I was like, attitude and effort. And he's like, oh, I guess that is kind of what you said. I was like, I have said this to you 500 times in 14 years.
- [18:08]
John
Just took another.
- [18:09]
Dustin Nickerson
Grow another voice. Another voice. Yeah.
- [18:12]
John
Okay, so tell me about your picture of. I don't even. A picture. Your lived experience of marriage growing up.
- [18:21]
Dustin Nickerson
I didn't have one, so I was raised by a single dad. My. My parents split when I was five. Four or five.
- [18:28]
John
Okay.
- [18:28]
Dustin Nickerson
I don't really have any memories of my mom in the home.
- [18:30]
John
Okay.
- [18:32]
Dustin Nickerson
Very rare. Raised like. No.
- [18:34]
John
Yeah. That's a rare thing.
- [18:35]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, very rare. And the. I would. My mom was kind of in and out. Um, and she was going through her own stuff. And I don't mean to slander her in any way, but the. I would see her periodically, and then for a while, it was kind of like every other weekend. But my dad never remarried, so I've never. The only marriage that I've ever lived in was my own, you know, and then his. My dad's brother, also fresh off a divorce, moved in with us. So my house was me. My. My sister Jessica, My older sister Jessica. And then My dad and his brother Butch.
- [19:16]
John
So you're a weird uncle away from full house, dude. That's good.
- [19:18]
Dustin Nickerson
I mean, it didn't get well, to be fair, we had a rotating cast of characters who would come in. Butch's son Tater lived with us for a while. There was. There was a cousin named Bushrod who lived us with for a couple years, an aunt who came down. I have a very colorful family from rural Oregon, so. Which is where the rednecks on the west coast come from. There's all the small rural towns. And that. Those are my roots. That's who I was, like, raised by. You know, I'm one of the rare kids who grew up in South Seattle knowing the two Labani brothers.
- [19:51]
John
Okay. So I. I. A question that's been haunting me for the last two years. Haunting is because. Basically because it's like, it's. Every time I try to grab it, I think I've got the answer to it. It's just a mist. And it started with just a. Huh. Why is Jeff Bezos getting remarried? Yeah. He has everything. Yeah. Every. Literally everything.
- [20:13]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Good thing he's getting more, too.
- [20:15]
John
Yeah. Why would you do that?
- [20:17]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [20:18]
John
Right.
- [20:18]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [20:19]
John
And so. But then all the way down, when I. People. Like, I just was in the. Looking at nerd data this morning, and marriages are actually. Weirdly, the divorce rate's going down and marriage stability is going up, but that's simply because more and more people just are opting out. They're just not doing it.
- [20:37]
Dustin Nickerson
They're just not getting married.
- [20:38]
John
Those that take that step.
- [20:39]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [20:40]
John
Have. For whatever reason. Yeah. But I can't blame the people who have chosen to not do this thing, because they've only. It's only like if you just grew up and every time you went to the weight room, somebody hit you in the head with a. With a. With a baseball bat.
- [20:54]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [20:56]
John
And so I guess question one is, why in the world would you go do that?
- [21:00]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh, because I fell in love, you know, and I was a Christian.
- [21:04]
John
Okay. So you had to.
- [21:05]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, I was. We were rule followers, and we were eager, buddy. I was like, yeah. 19. That seems like a good age to get married.
- [21:15]
John
Yeah. Yeah.
- [21:15]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. I'm just like. I remember sitting at premarital counseling, my knee shaking. I'm like, when is this going to win?
- [21:23]
John
Okay, so. So you do it because you have a. You have a faith context, and I'm the exact same as you.
- [21:29]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, Exact same.
- [21:30]
John
We had to. That was the next step.
- [21:32]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. That's what you did.
- [21:34]
John
But that's hard.
- [21:38]
Dustin Nickerson
It's very hard. And so a couple.
- [21:41]
John
What blueprint do you follow?
- [21:42]
Dustin Nickerson
Well, a couple years ago, not to self promote here, but I did, I wrote a book. You wrote a book?
- [21:47]
John
Yeah.
- [21:47]
Dustin Nickerson
Called how to be married to Melissa.
- [21:49]
John
Okay.
- [21:49]
Dustin Nickerson
And the whole premise of this book is that I am so uncomfortable giving marriage advice because I only know how to be married to this person. That's it. And I. This is like my PhD is in Melissa Ology. Like this is the person that I, I'm studying and want to know and I want to empathize and I want. And, and she tickles me and I love her and she's. She's my favorite person in the world. That being said, I do, I do accredited an amount of dumb luck and that we have grown together because the hardest thing when you get married at 19 and when you get married young, especially in the Christian context, also in a military context of these times, you get marri young is you're not nearly developed as you don't. You don't get. You know this. When would your brain develop 25.
- [22:36]
John
In theory.
- [22:37]
Dustin Nickerson
In theory, yeah. Yeah.
- [22:38]
John
But I'm watching a bunch of 50 year olds right now be like y' all aren't there yet either, right?
- [22:44]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. I mean and I, I read a thing was like in the frontal lobe comes last. Right. Which is where perspective is.
- [22:51]
John
Right, Right, right. Critical thinking.
- [22:53]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, exactly.
- [22:54]
John
She's not responding to everything.
- [22:55]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. So there is an amount of. Sure. Like me and my wife are committed to one another and I think that comes from a deep love from one another and a deep commitment to our faith. I think that that's true. I also think that there is good fortune and luck or blessing or whatever you want to call it, that we have remained compatible. Because that's the hardest thing because you can get married and I look at the 19 year old version of me and the 20 version of your whole and we are different people now.
- [23:22]
John
I would hope so. Right?
- [23:23]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, exactly. And I'm embarrassed by that person that I used to be.
- [23:27]
John
Which again, I hope so. Yeah, exact.
- [23:29]
Dustin Nickerson
Exactly. Gosh. You did what?
- [23:31]
John
There's a great est Pearl quote that is most people have two to three to five or six great loves in your lifetime and if you work really hard, it can be with the same person. Oh, that's that idea that I got. My wife is on John 5.0.
- [23:46]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [23:46]
John
Thank God. Right. Cuz versions one through four were, were not great.
- [23:51]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Yeah. And I, my, I also got some dumb luck. The fact that my wife hates change.
- [23:59]
John
It was easier to stay with you.
- [24:00]
Dustin Nickerson
I trul think that, I think that there is an amount of, like, red tape that she doesn't want to deal with. She's like, I'm already, I already have freaking Fasta to deal with. And we didn't qualify for that. And then maybe on the Ramsey Network is good news. Paying for cash and sending to San Jose State, baby. And she did tell me once, and not. This is an old bit of mine where I did ask her if she was attracting any of my friends. And she said, she said no. Why would I, why would I look at somebody else? I already have a husband. And that's how she sees the world. She's like, I have this. I don't need another one. I have this one.
- [24:40]
John
Gotcha.
- [24:41]
Dustin Nickerson
And you're like, well, that's very helpful for me.
- [24:44]
John
That's exactly how my wife does it. And I'm always like, I know, but that guy's really.
- [24:47]
Dustin Nickerson
She's like, but you're my thing.
- [24:49]
John
I got you.
- [24:50]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. And then you're like, I'm, I'm not like that. Yeah.
- [24:54]
John
I'm not good at this.
- [24:56]
Dustin Nickerson
I'm not good at this. So. Yeah, I mean, I, it has been hard, but not honestly not that hard. I mean, it's like, okay, but that,
- [25:06]
John
but, but there is like a series of day in and day out choices. Like what you just said.
- [25:13]
Dustin Nickerson
Yes.
- [25:13]
John
Would. What marriage therapists across the country would be like. If I could bottle that up and write that book, I would, I would pay for my summer home, which is. No, I just decided to be really interested in her.
- [25:26]
Dustin Nickerson
Right, Right.
- [25:27]
John
Care about what makes her happy and what she doesn't like.
- [25:31]
Dustin Nickerson
Right, Right.
- [25:32]
John
That's a, I mean, it's. At some level, it's a series of choices. I'm gonna make sure over and over and over.
- [25:40]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Well, yeah. Now we're getting into a free will discussion here. Yeah, let's go. Religious affections. Jonathan Edwards. I, I, I don't know that it is. I mean, of course it is. You know, do I pick up the cup or do I not pick up the cup? Sure. But there is an amount of, like, all of that has all of those decisions I've made and she's made have been driven by a deep affection for her. Just affection. I just love her. I just want to do it. I just want. She makes me happy. I, I love being around her.
- [26:16]
John
This is when people are like, screw this guy.
- [26:18]
Dustin Nickerson
And this is where marriage. This is why I didn't. I don't give marriage Adv. Cause how does your marriage work? I'm like, I love my wife. She makes me laugh. She's my favorite person in the world. I think the things she does is very. Are interesting and charming. I like her moves. I think that she's. I like her a lot. Now that may have come from. Yeah. A series of commitments and decisions over the years of like, hey, this isn't. This is what we're doing regardless. And maybe you can fall deeper and deeper in love doing that. But also, I mean, I make. Sometimes the best thing for a relationship is for it to end. So, you know, we've all had those, like, hey, you got to get out of this situation. He is a monster.
- [26:59]
John
I wouldn't have a show if it wasn't that.
- [27:01]
Dustin Nickerson
Right?
- [27:01]
John
Yeah. Yeah.
- [27:03]
Dustin Nickerson
So I don't know. Yeah. What about, what about.
- [27:05]
John
What about.
- [27:06]
Dustin Nickerson
Not to get all whimsical. No, I love it.
- [27:07]
John
I love it. What? Well, and I think again, it's one of those things, like, there's a great. I. I wish I knew the comic. It was one of those late nights when I was a kid and it just stuck in my head. He said, I was driving the other day and on the telephone pole there was a sign that said, call me and ask me how I lost weight. So he called it and the guy was like, diet and exercise. And it's like, it's like we have a world that is over complicated so much and if we could reduce it to. I'm just going to choose to love that person. And.
- [27:37]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [27:38]
John
Tada.
- [27:38]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, I think they're there. I'm sure. I don't know there was ever a conscious decision of being like, just was. It just was and it just remains. But I guess the one practical advice that I would give in that is what I said earlier is pay attention to all the things that that person does that shows how much they love you. And look at what. Because I. I find myself the most distant from Melissa and her the most distant from me. When we are focusing on the wrong things, when we are focusing on. He does that, she does that. They do that, they do that. I wish I had that. I wish I had that. And then when you stop and you're like, like, if I made a list of everything that Melissa does in our household, in my life, on just day to Day, you're like, that's a lot of love for me. That's a lot of action love, you know, that she doesn't owe me, she doesn't have to do for me. And then you Kind of like, oh,
- [28:34]
John
yeah, she's pretty great. Yeah.
- [28:36]
Dustin Nickerson
It's pretty great. Pretty great woman here.
- [28:38]
John
It reduces that. But why not.
- [28:40]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. So that. I guess that would be one practical. But you know. Yeah. A gratitude list isn't exactly breaking new ground here. Well, it's.
- [28:49]
John
Well, I think it's. It's an old Brene Brown quote. Like, whatever you go looking for in the world, you're sure to find. And there's something about taking off the glasses of. Because I can see that same pile of clothes on the bed as evidence that she doesn't love me. Yeah. Or I can see it as evidence of she had 50 things to do today. I can go. I can go fold those and put them up.
- [29:11]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [29:11]
John
Because. And I'll. And I'll reduce her load to 49, for God's sakes.
- [29:15]
Dustin Nickerson
Well, and that is a. I get to just.
- [29:16]
John
I get to decide how I enter into that room.
- [29:18]
Dustin Nickerson
The feeling of making someone feel loved is the best feeling in the world.
- [29:26]
John
And that to me. Okay. So you don't know this. I'm right in the middle of writing a marriage book.
- [29:30]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh, great.
- [29:31]
John
To wrap my head around it.
- [29:32]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Yeah.
- [29:33]
John
And that has become the lever which. Which I think everything rests on.
- [29:39]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [29:39]
John
Which is if you enter into anything with. With what can I get from this versus what can I do for.
- [29:47]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [29:48]
John
One of the. This can never be filled. And so if. And it was even a shift coming to Ramsey, where behind closed doors, Dave is like, the only thing that matters is the person. If you're talking to them, is their life going to be better because they interacted with you? And even going to the crowd. The. Like, the first few nights at a comedy club, you get your eight minutes.
- [30:09]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [30:10]
John
Can I get them to think I'm funny? And the shift now for me has been this room of people is living in this little scrolly, doomsday ecosystem, and they just walked into a room voluntarily and had to put their phones away. Can I give them 10 minutes of an escape and give them a little bit lighter day? And I don't know what the switch is, but that all of my stuff is funnier because it's not about, do you think I'm funny? And it's. It is. Can I contribute with this lineup of people to giving y' all an escape from the hellscape that we live in right now? Yeah. And if you do that with your spouse, how can I make your day better?
- [30:47]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [30:47]
John
How can I love you today? Is this such a different shift?
- [30:50]
Dustin Nickerson
And that's only going to benefit you, by the way.
- [30:52]
John
That's the thing. That's the thing. That's the thing. It makes your life better.
- [30:56]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [30:56]
John
Right. And you don't. I hate to put it out like a, like a 401k. Right. If you invest in this over time,
- [31:01]
Dustin Nickerson
but kind of how it works, Ramsey.
- [31:05]
John
But that's how it works, right? That's how it works.
- [31:07]
Dustin Nickerson
I totally agree. I. I have found, especially in the last couple of years, a great joy in it of just being like, what can I take off your plate? Because I, more so than any, my biggest desire in life is for you to feel loved by me. And she'll tell me that. She's told me my favorite thing about you is how much you love me. And. But now as we get older, like that change what that looks like.
- [31:31]
John
That's right.
- [31:32]
Dustin Nickerson
You know, as far as, you know, you know, the dayto day, the sacrifice, frankly it. In our case, ironically, it means working a little more because things get expense more expensive as your kids get older and. But yeah, it's. It's the best feeling in the world to make someone feel loved. It's, you know, better to give than receive.
- [31:52]
John
And if you get two people on the same page who are trying to out give each other, that's a pretty intractable marriage.
- [31:58]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, it's pretty perfect. Yeah. It's also, you know, husband tip. It usually yields benefits.
- [32:09]
John
Yeah.
- [32:09]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [32:09]
John
What I read the other day, that I had never heard this. It was. They're talking about initiation.
- [32:17]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [32:17]
John
If we're going to head. Head back to the backpack, back to the bedroom. And I had never heard the phrase chore play before.
- [32:22]
Dustin Nickerson
That's funny.
- [32:23]
John
Well played. Well played.
- [32:24]
Dustin Nickerson
That is very.
- [32:25]
John
That's in this, that's in the, that's the, in the marriage literature, like in the nerd stuff.
- [32:28]
Dustin Nickerson
I mean that's. No, my if like dirty talk to my wife is like, hey, I folded the laundry. She's like, oh my gosh, you are a bad. Let's get some new laundry dirty.
- [32:45]
John
So what about take me through. So I spent my 20 years hugging, sobbing dads, dropping their kids off at universities.
- [32:57]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh man.
- [32:58]
John
And I would roll my eyes out of the back of my head and I get over it, man. And I remember dropping my son off at a Tuesday Thursday school when he was like one. And I sat in my wife's Rev 4 in the parking lot, just sobbed. How has your life shifted with this being. Dropping them off and it. And it could be amazing. I've also heard like no, it's pretty amazing.
- [33:19]
Dustin Nickerson
It's.
- [33:21]
John
Walk me through that. Because I'm. I'm two and a half years away from it.
- [33:24]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [33:24]
John
Already pre grieving it.
- [33:26]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Good. Get ahead of it, you know. That's good. I have found it initially devastatingly sad. My wife described it as a breakup
- [33:41]
John
and thought like, the thought of walking past his room.
- [33:45]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [33:45]
John
And he's not there. I don't know that. That I can hold that weight.
- [33:48]
Dustin Nickerson
No, I mean, we cried for. I mean, leading up to it. The senior year is hard because there's so many lasts. Last. Homecoming, you know, last. He's a. He's a track runner. Track star. He runs in college, too. Last race, senior race, prom, graduation. There's so many of these landmarks, milestones, Ebenezers.
- [34:17]
John
Yeah. That's a deep.
- [34:20]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, listen, I've read the book and that's hard. And then summer is weird because you did all this stuff and then they're there. But, you know, the breakup is coming. You know, the drop off is coming, but it is a lot of freaking work to get to it. And then we, in our case, flew up. It's very emotional and there's a final hug and then there is a moment where you walk away and it's. You're just like, what am I? You've never left your kid before? Not like that. Yeah. I mean, you're. You're not going to see him for months, you know, like, just. And it's my wife again. She said it was like a breakup. And then she said what I think was the most beautiful sentiment on it. My wife said, you know, dropping our kid off of college, you know, ends up for their world to get bigger, our world had to get smaller. And I was like, good Lord. I was like, hey, who's the writer here?
- [35:15]
John
Yeah, I don't want that, dude.
- [35:17]
Dustin Nickerson
That should have been my line. What are you doing coming up with that? I'm the words guy.
- [35:22]
John
And it was.
- [35:23]
Dustin Nickerson
And it was. And still now I think my wife feels the sadness of him gone more than I do. I do miss him a lot. It's also the modern era. We text, we send Instagram Reels and TikToks all day long. And he is an hour flight away. So we have seen him a few times. I am getting more two things. A sense of relief that he's doing well and then also just a sense of pride that he's doing well because they start to pick up these things and these life skills that you're like, you couldn't have done this here, you really did need, you know, the old healthy birds leave the nest thing. You really did need this. You needed to, you know, just small things. You needed to. How to find out how to check out a lift bike and run around and get around San Jose. You needed to figure out how to get a ride to your stuff because we're not there. You need to figure out.
- [36:17]
John
You get stuck at a house you don't want to be at. How do you get out? Exactly.
- [36:19]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, you're having a hard. Yeah, you're having a hard time with chemistry. I can't help you, and I haven't been able to help you in years. But mom can't, knowing there's. You go find your own tutor. So there's that element. And then it. Is that being said, we also are very fortunate because he's running, and he's running at D1 school. He did land in a great landing pad.
- [36:40]
John
He's got support network, tons of support.
- [36:43]
Dustin Nickerson
He's also gonna only get into so much trouble. He's running twice a day.
- [36:45]
John
That's right.
- [36:45]
Dustin Nickerson
He lifts four times.
- [36:46]
John
He falls asleep.
- [36:50]
Dustin Nickerson
But it is. It's a very tough, emotional ride.
- [36:54]
John
How did y' all manage? One thing I always notice in couples that, like, after a loss of any kind, like loss of a parent, heaven forbid, loss of a child, or what I would call it natural grief. Like, this is. This is the way it's supposed to be.
- [37:08]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [37:10]
John
But individuals grieve at different paces. How do you.
- [37:14]
Dustin Nickerson
We never sink to cry. Not one time.
- [37:16]
John
Yeah.
- [37:17]
Dustin Nickerson
Not one time in a year where we sad at the same time.
- [37:20]
John
How do you establish grace for somebody who's grieving in a moment when you
- [37:23]
Dustin Nickerson
want to go out, it's right. Yeah.
- [37:25]
John
That's a tough.
- [37:26]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [37:27]
John
Or there's the how. Are you already over it?
- [37:29]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [37:29]
John
Or weren't you over it yet?
- [37:30]
Dustin Nickerson
You channel what you felt last time you felt it.
- [37:33]
John
What's that mean?
- [37:34]
Dustin Nickerson
Like, she's crying. Okay. I was crying a month ago. How did I feel?
- [37:38]
John
God, you've got an empathy that is powerful.
- [37:42]
Dustin Nickerson
You're looking for that. Like, okay, I can remember what this felt like. I can't get there emotionally because I can't make myself feel differently. But I'm going to try and give you the space, the time, and the response that. That I needed then, you know? So that's what I tried to do. But it is.
- [38:00]
John
Gosh, dude, it's amazing.
- [38:02]
Dustin Nickerson
But it is. It is. It is hard because sometimes you're like, hey, we don't got time for this. Yeah, I'm trying to.
- [38:08]
John
Or this is makeup night. Why are we crying?
- [38:09]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, I'm trying to.
- [38:10]
John
Like, I'm about to leave, she starts crying.
- [38:12]
Dustin Nickerson
You're like, I'm trying to watch the rest of development. Are you?
- [38:14]
John
Exactly.
- [38:15]
Dustin Nickerson
Because this is what we do. We usually. It's Tuesdays. We usually have some wine, watch a little rest of development.
- [38:20]
John
Yeah. And you're ruining it.
- [38:22]
Dustin Nickerson
But if you got to be sad, you should be sad.
- [38:24]
John
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [38:26]
Dustin Nickerson
So you try. But it's. That's a very. I've thought before. You know, I wish there was. If there was like, a. A beneficial superpower would be. Is however you felt physically and emotionally, if you could touch somebody and make that person feel the same way, that would be so helpful because I wish I knew. I wish I knew. Like. Like, do you have any physical pain right now, like a back or anything like that?
- [38:48]
John
Just, like, knee pain.
- [38:50]
Dustin Nickerson
I wish I could feel it. I wish I could know. Be like. I'm like, okay, this is bothering him. And, like, same with them. Or. And emotionally, too, because it just. It would be. It's the old everyone's going through their own battles thing. And I just try and think that with my wife and with my kids, especially the kids when they're, like, in distress, that you're like, God, I just. Same, same. I. I mentioned it before, like, physical. But you ever talked to a friend who's like, just got chronic back pain, and you're like, I wish I could feel it for 30 minutes so I could know just how much pain you're in all the time.
- [39:19]
John
Because it gives you a lot of grace.
- [39:20]
Dustin Nickerson
It gives you a lot of grace. And I try and think that way with my wife, with my kids. I'm no good at it. I'm just like, get over it, you know, you're 16. There'll be another boy, unfortunately.
- [39:32]
John
Right. But it is. It is important to go back and. And I don't know, for some reason, it's easier for me to do with my kids than it is with my wife. And maybe I just like, hey, we're adults. Just grow up. Yeah. Like. But with my kids, it's like, I remember being devastated when so and so broke up with me.
- [39:50]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, that's true. And that is. It is. I try to do with my kids, too. And that is a good way to think about it. And that does give you grace to your kids. There is. It's so funny you said, I've been thinking about this idea. Someone, A friend of mine who's single recently told me. She goes, you know, she was talking about marriage, and she goes, you know, I just. I want to be married so I could have someone that could take care of me. And I laughed in their face. I laughed so loud. What do you got? And I go, you could not have a worse idea of what marriage is, because that is not it. That is. That's the complete opposite. They will at times. But if you go in with that mindset, this puppy is chronically disappointed. Yeah, that's a personal assistant. Well, you're looking for.
- [40:32]
John
Yes.
- [40:33]
Dustin Nickerson
Which I suppose there are some marriages that are like that. But what you just said. I've been thinking about that. What kind of want to develop it is a bit of the real. One of the real values of marriage and a real close partnership with somebody is when as much as that empathy piece is good, it's also somebody's like, gosh, my knee hurts. And for your wife to be like,
- [40:53]
John
okay, yeah, you got another one.
- [40:55]
Dustin Nickerson
Use that one. Yeah, yeah. Are you gonna make an appointment or what do you need? You're 41. Stretch. Like, what are you gonna do about this? I don't. It's nice to have someone that, you know, loves you, but also doesn't have time for you because it does put your. Especially when you're on the road a lot. Like, like, you can get in your head so much and you can feel like a main character. You can feel. And, you know, tonight I show up people, oh, let me set this up. And you can feel like that's reality and is. That is not. You gotta. It's you. It is good to spend time with somebody who loves you and also does not care about some of your problems and also does not roll out the red carpet for you in any way.
- [41:37]
John
I think that. I think that's super important. Yeah. My point. Yeah.
- [41:41]
Dustin Nickerson
I don't even get hugged when I get home half the time.
- [41:44]
John
No, we. My first big night when it sold out, it was a big old thing. And I, I. It went good. I don't mind saying. I need to practice saying it went really well.
- [41:54]
Dustin Nickerson
That's great.
- [41:54]
John
And I left early because my wife came. She doesn't always come. In fact, she really does. She came, I left. You know, the fun is the green room.
- [42:03]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [42:03]
John
A bunch of comics back there just talking trash. And. Yeah, I left early, went home for what? I didn't identify at the time, but I realized, oh, I'm just going. I want my second standing ovation here. And I walked. I walked in the door and My wife is standing there, and she goes, oh, hey. And it was just. I was literally waiting for it. And she goes, could you pick up Hank tomorrow from. And it just went.
- [42:28]
Dustin Nickerson
It's great.
- [42:28]
John
But I. But here's the thing. I cast her in a movie. She didn't know what she was in. And then I got mad that she didn't know the lines. And it was like that same.
- [42:35]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, I was.
- [42:36]
John
I could have said, hey, I'm coming home.
- [42:37]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [42:38]
John
Will you cheer for me? And she'd be like, absolutely. Yeah, of course.
- [42:41]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [42:42]
John
And the greatest way she knew to love me was to go home and make sure these kids are taken care of. Because you've been spending all night at the stupid comedy club.
- [42:48]
Dustin Nickerson
But unfortunately, that makes you a good person. Of course, unfortunately. Because you can't. You just can't have everyone loving and praising you. You can't do it. It's not. It's not a life you can live. And I've seen it with comedians and famous, and you're just.
- [43:05]
John
It crashes and burns every time.
- [43:06]
Dustin Nickerson
I always tell my wife, I go, I want to have one foot on the red carpet and one foot on the school pickup line. That's where I belong in both these things. Like, sure, I'm following John Mulaney at the Comedy Store tonight, but also, I'm just shooting the breeze with John MacArthur under the tree, waiting for our kid at fourth grade, you know, waiting for our 11 year olds to come be ungrateful that we gave them a ride home, you know, dad, dad, turn the AC on. We just got in the car. Car.
- [43:35]
John
My daughter's new thing she's on now is. Man, I will get out of here early. I'll tell my wife I'm going to go pick her up. I just need to see her. Yeah, go wait in that line. Pick her up. And the very first thing is, where's Mom?
- [43:47]
Dustin Nickerson
Where's mom, bro?
- [43:48]
John
I just gave up, like.
- [43:49]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. But anyway, we get in the car and they go, can we get Boba? Yeah, can we get Boba? Can we get Starbucks? Can we get. Like, you can't get Boba every day. Boba is not a daily thing. I've been trying to pitch my kids on slurpees. Slurpees are 99 cents, and they remain 99 cents. And when we were kids, they were kind of cool.
- [44:11]
John
They were the thing.
- [44:12]
Dustin Nickerson
They were the thing.
- [44:13]
John
If you could just get it.
- [44:14]
Dustin Nickerson
If you could get a sl. There was no Boba. There was no Starbucks even in Seattle as a kid, you didn't go to Starbucks because Starbucks used to be for adults and now they market to 14 year old girls. They're like, can all the drinks be pink?
- [44:26]
John
That's right.
- [44:26]
Dustin Nickerson
And then we'll put a pink things inside the pink. And then the marketing will be protein
- [44:31]
John
in the pink for kids.
- [44:32]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, yeah. You're like, do we have drip coffee? Yeah, we made it seven and a half hours ago. It's burnt. Why is there an adult man here? You're not our target audience anymore. We're selling these for my daughter. The other day we got her friend's birthday when he got like a Starbucks gift card. It was like for $10. And she's like, can it be more? Cause that's like one drink. I'm like, that is like one drink, isn't it? I hate that company. In my deepest heart, I hate that company so much because they made it normal. They buy. They first off, the thing that I like. They sell crappy coffee. It is legitimately terrible. Drip coffee. It's as bad give. I'll take Chick Fil a. I'll take McDonald's. I'll take Buc ee's. I'll take quick Trip. I'll. I'll pour rainwater through dirt before I will drink that Starbucks crap. It's so bad. I hate it so much. And then they normalized like $7 and they target it to teens. And you're like, this is. This is terrible. This is like old cigarette ads. It's not bad for you. Really? Really? A milkshake with caffeine Seems like that's probably for 14.
- [45:39]
John
Yeah, yeah.
- [45:41]
Dustin Nickerson
Like, oh, we've seen an uptick in 16 year olds with type 2 diabetes and heart explosions. I know I need one before volleyball. I don't think you do. Also, I hate him because Howard Schultz is the reason the Seattle Sonics left Seattle.
- [45:54]
John
There's also that.
- [45:55]
Dustin Nickerson
That's probably the primary, but also the other one. Your coffee stinks.
- [45:58]
John
Can we take a moment of silence for OG Gary Payton?
- [46:00]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [46:01]
John
The greatest defender of all time.
- [46:02]
Dustin Nickerson
Bring him back, baby. Bring them back. Save our Sonic defender. And now the Thunder are all good. Bless the people Oklahoma City. They're very nice people, but they stole your team. They didn't. I don't know.
- [46:16]
John
They were given.
- [46:16]
Dustin Nickerson
I could do a whole podcast on this. But the for the original criminal criminal was Howard Schultz. Howard Schultz owned the team and then sold them to an out of town owner. An out of town Clay Bennett who is in Oklahoma City. If you remember, Oklahoma City had hosted New Orleans that year after Katrina.
- [46:33]
John
That's right.
- [46:33]
Dustin Nickerson
They had unbelievable support. And they're like, hey, we could really use a team here. What a great group. And again, the people of Oklahoma. Lovely people. And then the first crime was Howard Schultz sold it to a guy that was based in Oklahoma City.
- [46:48]
John
Well, I'm in Nashville. And they took my Houston Oilers that I grew up with. Still haven't fully recovered from it. Yeah, that's my whole childhood.
- [46:56]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, well, I moved him here. He had those great years with that great guy, Deshaun Watson, that redeemed it. Remember when you guys, like, won eight games, like eight years in a row with J.J. watt? You won nine games. Yeah. And lost in the first round of
- [47:12]
John
the playoffs every time. Every time. Well, even when I was a kid with Warren Moon, we lost. Lost every year in the first one.
- [47:18]
Dustin Nickerson
Washington Husky, one of the great. One of the goats out of there.
- [47:21]
John
One of the greats of all time.
- [47:22]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. I remember I would just turn on like every January and be like, there's the 9 and 7 Houston team.
- [47:28]
John
Gonna lose again.
- [47:29]
Dustin Nickerson
About to lose again in the first round.
- [47:33]
John
It's brutal.
- [47:34]
Dustin Nickerson
It's like the Steelers now, just every year. Yeah.
- [47:37]
John
Well, at least your Mariners did well this year.
- [47:44]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, it doesn't. It doesn't feel amazing.
- [47:46]
John
No, it hurts.
- [47:47]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, it hurts real bad.
- [47:49]
John
And I was rooting for Cal Raleigh yesterday for mvp.
- [47:51]
Dustin Nickerson
I think everybody with, like, a heart was, you know, you're like, felt right. He. You know, I. I actually yelled about this on MLB Network a couple months ago when I was like, this is a baseball award. Right? This is a baseball. I think the guy who played more baseball should get it because Aaron Judge spent a lot of the time on the bench and then would stand in right field and average four plays a game. Game. Four plays a game. The average at bat is five pitches. So Cal Raleigh's doing it in that bat what Aaron Judge does in a game. But, yeah, what do I know?
- [48:22]
John
I'm just a switch hitting catcher. What a special year that is.
- [48:25]
Dustin Nickerson
It was a great year. It was very fun. And, you know, at the end of every sports season, I. I covet the simplicity of the Disney adult. You're like, gosh, Disney never hurts you. Does.
- [48:39]
John
Does financially, man. It's pretty tough.
- [48:41]
Dustin Nickerson
I mean, so do sports.
- [48:42]
John
That's true.
- [48:42]
Dustin Nickerson
That's true. Yeah. I got a lot of gear. I don't need.
- [48:46]
John
Disagree, man. Nothing says we're in America like getting a jersey with another grown man's name on it.
- [48:53]
Dustin Nickerson
I don't get jerseys. I don't get jerseys, but I have a lot of gear now. One of the nice things about my career is it does get sent to me periodically.
- [49:01]
John
There you go. Yeah.
- [49:02]
Dustin Nickerson
They're like that. Which is which I, I, the jersey. I, I would wear a jersey if I looked better in them. I just don't look good enough. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so funny. Yeah. I wouldn't wear them because it's kind of lame. I look terrible.
- [49:16]
John
I look awful.
- [49:17]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. I mean, to be fair, everyone looks awful in, like, a football jersey, right? You're like, why does it go down to my knees?
- [49:22]
John
Well, because the comparison are these, like, these sculpted, crafted human beings who are
- [49:27]
Dustin Nickerson
molded into being around real athletes is so humbling.
- [49:30]
John
That's pretty bad. Like, that's my dream for the Olympics is I think not in the finals, but in a semi final. They need to run one average. Yeah, yeah. Just to show how fast those guys are.
- [49:39]
Dustin Nickerson
Oh, man, that's like, it just would
- [49:42]
John
because they're all so fast.
- [49:43]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. You.
- [49:44]
John
I use perspective.
- [49:46]
Dustin Nickerson
When you hear non athletes talk about sports, it's very funny. Like, I'm not a political person at all, and so I'm not going to go on this right now. But the very outspoken swimmer who has kind of been speaking about the trans swimmer. Yeah. I forget her name.
- [50:06]
John
Does anyone remember Riley something?
- [50:08]
Dustin Nickerson
She finished like, fifth in the NCAA finals or something like that. And I've seen like, AOC and other people who were like, maybe if you didn't do this, you wouldn't have finished fifth. I was like, do you know how hard it is to finish fifth in the ncaa? Like, that's unbelievable.
- [50:22]
John
You're the fifth fastest college student.
- [50:25]
Dustin Nickerson
That's insane. That's insane. That person is so fast. And this is not non. This is a purely sports take.
- [50:32]
John
Yeah, yeah, of course.
- [50:33]
Dustin Nickerson
Do not badmouth that. That's a crazy high achievement. You. But to be fair, like, I, I, we all do the same thing as, like, armchair quarter. Do you ever do that thing where you're like, judging LeBron and you're like, he's only 17 tonight. And I'm like, I'm the same age as LeBron.
- [50:49]
John
Why?
- [50:50]
Dustin Nickerson
That's crazy.
- [50:50]
John
Why did he just go right there? Couldn't he see that? You're right?
- [50:53]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, yeah. You're like, I can't sleep on my left side because my hip hurts. And LeBron's like, W he didn't really, he didn't go to the lane as hard as he should have or the.
- [51:02]
John
Was it the number of people talking about what kind of shape Luca.
- [51:06]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah, yeah, Luca was in. Yeah, they do that with baseball players too. They're like, oh, look how out of shape that guy's. They go, there isn't a distance of race you could beat him in. He would beat you in a mile. He would beat you in two miles. He would. You beat you in six. These are unbelievable athletes. It's. It's very humbling being a sportsman because they'll do that thing every once in a while, too. Like, when they'll be like, talking about Kyler Murray, they're like, can you believe that this guy made it to the pros at 5, 9? I'm like, he's taller than me. They're talking about, like, he has a disability.
- [51:37]
John
That tells you how great he is.
- [51:38]
Dustin Nickerson
Exactly. Yeah. Five, nine. Can you believe this guy's even allowed to exist in society? That's crazy. What a freak. It was the circus of the Cardinals for him.
- [51:50]
John
All right, we gotta get out of here. I'm gonna come see you tonight. I can't wait.
- [51:53]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah. Thanks, man.
- [51:54]
John
It's gonna be a good time. Appreciate you, brother.
- [51:55]
Dustin Nickerson
Yeah.
- [51:56]
John
Thanks for coming on. And thanks for being a. Bringing joy to people in a messy world right now. Like, and I say that not to get over dramatic, but I appreciate that.
- [52:04]
Dustin Nickerson
It's good. Thanks for having me. Yeah. Yeah.
- [52:06]
John
And thanks for giving an example for guys like me on how to be married.
- [52:09]
Dustin Nickerson
Well, yeah, thank you. Thanks for the work you do. Thanks for having me, man.
- [52:13]
John
Thank you.
- [52:13]
Dustin Nickerson
Appreciate it.