The Dream Holiday Special

Summary

The Dream – “The Dream Holiday Special” (Dec 25, 2025)

Podcast Host: Little Everywhere
Featured Guests: Jane, Hannah Berner, Paige DeSorbo

Main Theme / Purpose

The Dream returns with a festive, free-flowing holiday special. Host Jane and guest Hannah Berner reminisce about Christmas pasts, swap gifts, share humorous and heartfelt stories, and muse on traditions, nostalgia, and ways to find belonging and joy during the holidays—even (or especially) when the American Dream goes off-script. The episode, lighthearted and candid, is a warm ode to chosen family, resourcefulness, and being generous with yourself and others.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Holiday Superlatives & Storytelling Kickoff

• The duo opens by considering fun holiday “superlatives” (best, worst, most magical, etc.), with Jane interviewing Hannah as the “storyteller/advice-giver.” [01:56]
  • Hannah: “Mine all probably will also have advice.” [02:14]
• They launch into exchanging gifts, blending humor and genuine sentiment.

2. The Great Gift Exchange

• Jane receives:
  • A Flamingo Estate Roma Tomato Candle (viral, limited edition) and fragrance oil, tailored to Jane’s Italian heritage and love of candles.
    • “It really does smell like that. Have you smelled it?” – Jane [04:17]
    • “It’s like after you pick cherry tomatoes in your garden and the way your hands smell.” – Hannah [04:36]
• Hannah receives:
  • A custom “Brak Flag” mug (a play on Black Flag & Brak from Space Ghost), fancy caramels, and a nightshirt-turned-going-out-dress (“Brock Savage,” in comically large size). Hannah is visibly emotional:
    • “This is gonna make me cry. Where did you even find this?” [05:48]
    • “Brak is like my favorite cartoon character of all time by far." [06:14]

3. Favorite Holiday Movies, Specials & Music

• Both wax nostalgic about their go-to holiday entertainment:
  • For comfort: The Holiday is Hannah’s favorite if “down in the dumps;” also Four Christmases and Pee-Wee’s Christmas Special. [08:35]
  • Childhood favorite: Jane loved the Yogi Bear's Christmas Special (“It made me happy... it just reminded me that it was Christmas” – Jane [09:43])
  • For music: Emmylou Harris’s Christmas album, and nostalgia for caroling and Mickey Mouse & Friends’ takes on classics (“Goofy’s always like, five onion rings...” – Hannah [11:49])

4. Most Magical and Funniest “Worst” Christmas Memories

• Hannah’s Best Christmas (Pre-parenthood):
  • At 29, newly single, Hannah traveled alone to Europe—London, Paris, and a friend’s village in Nottingham—reveling in the freedom, solitude, and magic of traveling solo for the holidays.
    • “It was magical. It was awesome. I went wherever I felt like going, anytime, day or night.” [16:22]
    • Attended Notre Dame Christmas mass, found €100 on the ground.
    • “I recommend it to anyone who has like a couple dollars lying around and doesn’t want to be with their family—just plan something else.” [18:08]
• Hannah’s Funniest “Worst” Christmas:
  • Comedy of errors in rural Michigan: her stepmother attempted last-minute Christmas Eve grocery shopping, finding all stores closed. Hannah and her sister scavenged for supplies at liquor stores and pizza joint kitchens to “save Christmas.”
    • “We basically went grocery shopping inside of a pizza place inside of a liquor store. And we saved Christmas.” [21:45]
    • “That’s what Christmas is about... making it work.” – Jane [22:36]
    • “Funny thing is, I don’t think anybody noticed...[the] holiday meal... just looked like a holiday meal.” – Hannah [23:18]

5. Heritage, Food, and Cozy Nostalgia

• Jane’s Family Holidays:
  • Italian-American feasts at her grandparents’ SE Portland home—with homemade rigatoni, sausages, and meatballs.
    • “Every single holiday was at my grandparents’ house... and it was Italian food—Thanksgiving and Christmas was all in rigatoni with meat sauce and homemade meatballs, homemade sausage.” [26:43]
  • Vivid stories of canning tomatoes in the basement, plastic tablecloths everywhere.
    • “She had a shelf that was like as big as the wall... that was just canned goods that she made.” [27:20]
  • After-dinner traditions of the whole neighborhood dropping by, Italian language filling the house.
  • Oranges as coveted stocking gifts—a treat rooted in scarcity in Eastern Europe. [29:47]
• Shared Nostalgia:
  • Both recall pajamas gifted by grandmothers, mid-century decor, vintage ribbon candies (often stuck together), and time-capsule-like family homes. [28:53–29:00]
  • “Both of our, both of our grandparents’ homes were like kind of time froze in the 50s.” – Hannah [30:32]

6. Navigating Holidays as Adults & New Traditions

• Discuss working at bars on Christmas as an alternative celebration.
  • Jane: “It was so fun because everyone who didn’t have family would come in.” [31:44]
• Hannah’s recommendation: Swedish “yule board” in Chicago; “completely candlelit” attic feasts at Tre Kroner, with classic fare and mulled wine (“glug”). [32:48]
  • “Chicago just in general at the holidays is…London and Chicago really do it. They do it up.” [33:54]

7. “Celebrity at the Table” Anecdotes

• Hannah’s dad inadvertently meets Johnny Galecki (Roseanne, Big Bang Theory) at an Italian Christmas in Chicago (“That guy was on TV, but in his head he was like, that’s one of Jane’s friends.” [35:17])
• Jane’s ex-wife’s uncle crashes Joey Ramone’s family Christmas (“Joey’s all pissed off…there’s not enough food for everybody.” [36:55])

8. Holiday Wishes and Closing Reflections

• Heartfelt advice for listeners on being kind to themselves and others, prioritizing rest, and seeking or hosting “chosen family” if bio-family isn’t an option.
  • “Take more time off. Use your vacations. You’re not winning any awards by not using your vacation time, okay?...Enjoy your time and try to enjoy your family. If your family sucks, work on getting your chosen family together.” – Hannah [37:23]
• Shout-out to online communities inviting seasonal “orphans” to gatherings.
  • “There’s a table over at my house. We’re making a ham, we’re making a turkey. Come by. Isn’t that sweet?” [38:18]
• Jane recounts how chosen family took her in after divorce: “I was like the orphan at their big Swedish [Christmas]...drinking schnapps and singing crazy Swedish songs.” [38:26]
• Both wish all listeners happy holidays, gratitude for their support, and tease a possible holiday playlist in the show notes. [39:07, 40:22]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “You might hate it... That’s what’s fun about it.” – Hannah on gift-giving [03:55]
• “Brak is like my favorite cartoon character of all time by far. And I did not know that this existed. And it’s very sweet. I will think of you every time I drink coffee.” – Hannah [06:14]
• “You’re not winning any awards by not using your vacation time, okay?...There may come a time like it has for us where you can’t ever take a week off, you know?” – Hannah [37:23]
• “That’s what Christmas is about... making it work.” – Jane [22:36]
• “I also just love the idea of Joey Ramone…sitting there, like, grumbling, ‘There’s not enough rules. Mom, why’d you let Mike down here?’” – Jane, retelling a family story [36:56]

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Highlighted Timestamps

• [02:14] – Hannah: “Mine all probably will also have advice.”
• [04:36] – Describing the tomato candle scent and Italian nostalgia.
• [05:48] – Emotional moment as Hannah receives the Brak-themed mug.
• [08:35] – Best Christmas movies according to mood.
• [16:22] – Hannah’s solo European Christmas (‘It was magical’).
• [18:08] – “I recommend it to anyone… just plan something else.”
• [21:45] – “We basically went grocery shopping inside of a pizza place inside of a liquor store. And we saved Christmas.”
• [22:36] – “That’s what Christmas is about... making it work.”
• [29:47] – Oranges as coveted stocking stuffers—explaining tradition.
• [31:44] – Celebrating as a bartender, creating alternative family.
• [32:48] – Swedish yule board in Chicago.
• [37:23] – Heartfelt advice on taking time off.
• [38:26] – Jane as a “holiday orphan” embraced by friends.
• [39:07] – Holiday closing wishes, gratitude for listeners.

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Tone and Language

Witty, candid, affectionate, and sometimes bittersweet—Jane and Hannah blend humor with emotional candor, freely sharing mishaps, nostalgia, and leftover melancholy. The conversation feels like sitting in on a close friends’ Christmas morning: full of ribbing, warm memories, nostalgia for “time-warp” holidays, holiday sensory overload (candles, food, pajamas), and gentle, earnest encouragement for listeners to find meaning and comfort wherever (and with whomever) possible.

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Takeaway

This holiday special marks The Dream’s return, celebrating not just Christmas, but resourcefulness, kindness (to self and others), and the ever-evolving search for community amidst American expectations. Whether listeners are baking rigatoni, hunting for ham at midnight, or piecing together their own chosen families, Jane and Hannah remind us: making it work—and making it your own—is the heart of any holiday dream.

Listen for:
Nostalgic storytelling, culinary chaos, viral candle gift tips, classic and quirky holiday music/movies, alternate family traditions, and genuinely moving reflections on chosen community.

Don’t miss:
The Brak mug, the pizza/liquor store grocery run ([21:45]), and the closing message about making holidays inclusive for all.

Transcript

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[Jane]

Welcome to our Christmas special.

[Hannah Berner]

You called this meeting?

[Jane]

Yeah. Well, I just figured because it's the holidays, it might be kind of fun to talk about holiday stuff.

[Hannah Berner]

I love it. Okay. I was thinking we could do some superlatives like best holiday, worst holiday, most magical holiday experience, that kind of thing.

[Jane]

But I'm going to be asking you these questions because you're a better storyteller than I am.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, let's decide it as it happens.

[Jane]

Okay?

[Hannah Berner]

How about that?

[Jane]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Mine all probably will also have advice.

[Jane]

Fair enough. So the gifts.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, gift advice.

[Jane]

Yeah. You're gifting advice.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, I'm going to give you your gift right now.

[Jane]

Oh, really?

[Hannah Berner]

Is that okay?

[Jane]

Sure. Okay, then I'll give you mine too.

[Hannah Berner]

Your gifts for me?

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay. Okay.

[Jane]

Who wants to go first? I forgot your card. I'm sorry.

[Hannah Berner]

I don't care about cards.

[Jane]

Okay. Well, I do.

[Hannah Berner]

They're always nice. But your handwriting is like, here's your big gift. Ready? Not this one. It's not this one. It's also big, but it's not this one.

[Jane]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

This was so hard to get.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Really?

[Hannah Berner]

And you might hate it.

[Jane]

Uh. Oh.

[Hannah Berner]

It's a limited edition, and it's sold out everywhere.

[Jane]

Oh, no.

[Hannah Berner]

And if you hate it, I don't.

[Jane]

Know what it is.

[Hannah Berner]

That's okay.

[Jane]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh.

[Jane]

Oh. Smashing around. Oh, it's a nice box.

[Hannah Berner]

Thank you. I didn't make says.

[Jane]

Flamingo estate. Sounds luxurious. Are flamingos kind of bougie birds or are they just regular? They're pretty bougie.

[Hannah Berner]

Kind of bougie. I mean, depends on what part of Florida you're in.

[Jane]

That's true. I'm sure there's some.

[Hannah Berner]

There's some really.

[Jane]

There's some rough and tumble flamingos, trashy.

[Hannah Berner]

Flamingos, and then some really nice ones if you go to Naples or whatever.

[Jane]

Okay. So it's a beautiful box. And then there's a box in here. And there's another box in here that I can feel. Is there another box? There is another box. Oh, there's a bunch of boxes. They're all little.

[Hannah Berner]

Maybe. I don't know. You're gonna want to.

[Jane]

This is really fancy.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, it is really fancy.

[Jane]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Like I said, you might hate this. That's what's fun about it. Okay, well, open the square one first, the red one, because that's the thing.

[Jane]

What is this, a Roma tomato candle?

[Hannah Berner]

Yes.

[Jane]

Oh, my God. It sounds so good.

[Hannah Berner]

It was the most popular M. It's.

[Jane]

Like fresh tomato on the vine. It really does smell like that. Have you smelled it?

[Hannah Berner]

No.

[Jane]

It's crazy.

[Hannah Berner]

Ooh.

[Jane]

Jane knows that I love candles.

[Hannah Berner]

And also that you're Italiano.

[Jane]

Yes.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. It's weird. It smells like. Like after you pick cherry tomatoes in your garden and the way your hands.

[Jane]

Smell totally smells beautiful.

[Hannah Berner]

Well, I'm glad you like it.

[Jane]

It's a very, like, nostalgic smell for me.

[Hannah Berner]

Gardening, Kind of.

[Jane]

Yeah. My grandparents garden.

[Hannah Berner]

That candle went, like, crazy viral.

[Jane]

Oh, it did?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. That specific tomato candle. I was looking for it, and I couldn't find just that one. And then I was like, oh, And I found this. They still do their box sets and stuff, but they just. You can't buy this one anymore.

[Jane]

Ooh, fragrance oil. That's awesome. I already smell, like garlic all the time.

[Hannah Berner]

No, I just add a little bit.

[Jane]

Of this to it.

[Hannah Berner]

I just thought, like. Because a lot of these sets have, like, hand lotion and things like that, and this one didn't have that.

[Jane]

I love it. Thank you so much. That's a really thoughtful and wonderful gift. It's really cool. Hopefully my stuff isn't too goofy.

[Hannah Berner]

What do you mean?

[Jane]

Well, go for it.

[Hannah Berner]

Just go.

[Jane]

Just rip into it.

[Hannah Berner]

What?

[Jane]

What? Do you like it?

[Hannah Berner]

This is gonna make me cry. Where did you even find this?

[Jane]

Simon's friend has a website where he makes. What would you call it?

[Hannah Berner]

It's like a. It's a. Do you know the band Black Flag with Henry Rollins?

[Jane]

Right.

[Hannah Berner]

It's a mug that says Brak Flag and it has a picture of space ghost and Brak.

[Jane]

Your favorite.

[Hannah Berner]

My favorite. Brack is like my favorite cartoon character of all time by far. And I did not know that this existed. And it's very sweet. I will think of you every time I drink coffee. Thank you.

[Jane]

I mean, I had to get it. I was so blown away when I saw it.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, man, it's so good. It really makes me happy. Oh, and my caramels. Dan always gets me caramels because my parents used to get me caramels. Caramels are, like, one of the very few candies that I reliably enjoy. They're really lovely. Thank you. They're kind of the fancy kind where they're, like, wrapped in wax paper. Okay.

[Jane]

There's more. There's this, there's that, and then there's this.

[Hannah Berner]

I'm gonna do this last.

[Jane]

Okay. Then there's something else. Yeah. This is the only size they had this in, so it's a night shirt.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay. What is this? Brock Savage. This is a dress.

[Jane]

I know. It is.

[Hannah Berner]

This is a going out dress.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Yeah.

[Jane]

That's a going out dress. It is. It's like the only one they had.

[Hannah Berner]

I think was triple extra large fishnets.

[Jane]

Perfect.

[Hannah Berner]

And some really loosey goosey, weird black boot, slouchy boot things.

[Jane]

Thank you. What size is it? It was the only size they had. Is it triple extra large? Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

No, but I could totally.

[Jane]

Yeah. I mean, it's huge.

[Hannah Berner]

Now I want a caramel. But we're talking on the microphones. Thank you.

[Jane]

Mm. You're welcome. Merry Christmas.

[Hannah Berner]

Merry Christmas. I love you.

[Jane]

I love you, too.

[Announcer]

Here they are, my most evil and hideous of villains from space. Natalis, Tanzit, Lokar, Zorak. That's not very Christmassy. Brack and Black Widow. They're here to sing the twelve days of Christmas. On the first day of Christma True.

[Hannah Berner]

Love K to me.

[Announcer]

Hi, my name is Bre. On your second day of Christmas My.

[Hannah Berner]

True love gave to me Two plus eight is ten.

[Announcer]

Hi, my name is Brag. One day to my Christmas My true.

[Hannah Berner]

Love Cakes will Be three reruns of Tap Knee.

[Jane]

Two plus eight is ten.

[Hannah Berner]

Hi, my name is Bright.

[Jane]

The best Christmas movie or special ever. Mm.

[Hannah Berner]

I. You know what? It's mood dependent for me.

[Jane]

Okay, let's say you're down in the dumps.

[Hannah Berner]

The holiday for sure. Carmen Diaz.

[Jane]

Oh, that's.

[Hannah Berner]

And Jack.

[Jane]

I like that one too.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, it's. And Kate Winslet. Your favorite actress and my favorite.

[Jane]

Is that the one with Jude Law?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, it's really sweet.

[Jane]

That's a good one. Okay, what about when you're super, like.

[Hannah Berner]

When I just want to laugh. Four Christmases and then Pee Wee's Christmas special. I think it's called Christmas at the Playhouse or something. I'm not going to say more because it's just perfect and it has the best cameos.

[Jane]

Yeah, that's a good one.

[Hannah Berner]

Those are my faves at the moment. But you know, it really depends on, like, I'll watch It's a Wonderful Life. If I'm already feeling like a little melancholy, like, don't come near me. Don't touch me with that. Yeah. Then I definitely need four Christmases. Like just something stupid.

[Jane]

What was your favorite when you were growing up? Christmas movie or like TV special? Because that was mine. Was a TV special.

[Hannah Berner]

What was it, the Charlie Brown one?

[Jane]

No, it was the Yogi Bears Christmas special.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Really?

[Jane]

Yeah. I don't know why I liked it.

[Hannah Berner]

Specific.

[Jane]

Yeah, it was like Hanna Barbera.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Jane]

And when it came on, it just reminded me that it was Christmas and it made me happy.

[Hannah Berner]

You can count on me to hold fourth with all my charm. Or fifth even. I could always sing, you know, Clementine.

[Announcer]

Yeah, Everybody will get into the act.

[Jane]

Me too.

[Hannah Berner]

Dear old dad. Let's face it, group, nothing must go wrong.

[Announcer]

Especially the big tree trimming party on Christmas Eve. We're lucky that troublemaker Yogi is fast asleep in his cage. Oh, yes. We really have something to worry about then.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, gang, hit it. It's about that time. That time of the year again. Sleigh bells ring that season is here again I more like the music than movies and TV albums.

[Jane]

Okay, what's your favorite Christmas album?

[Hannah Berner]

Okay.

[Jane]

Or holiday album. I mean, we're saying Christmas because that's.

[Hannah Berner]

What our family celebrated.

[Jane]

Yeah, but if we were more diverse in this room, we would want to include everything.

[Hannah Berner]

I love Emmylou Harris. Emmylou Harris.

[Jane]

That's a good one.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Jane]

And then I got that one because of you.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, it's so good. The singing is similar to like when I used to go caroling with my church and stuff. Yeah.

[Announcer]

O beautiful star of Bethlehem, Shining far through shadows dim, giving light for those who long have gone Guiding the wise men on their way unto the place where Jesus lay O beautiful star of Earth, the ham shine.

[Hannah Berner]

And I really like Mickey Mouse and Friends.

[Jane]

Yeah, I don't really remember that one.

[Hannah Berner]

It's so good. And they do the 12 days of Christmas and goofy's always like five onion.

[Jane]

Rings.

[Hannah Berner]

Three French hens, two turtle dogs and the.

[Announcer]

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[Narrator/Advertiser]

Grief doesn't keep a calendar. Anxiety doesn't clock out after five. Depression doesn't care if it's your busy season, but support can still fit into your life. With Grow, you can find a therapist who meets you where you are. They connect you with thousands of independent licensed therapists across the US offering both virtual and in person sessions. You can search by insurance provider, specialty treatment methods and more to find a therapist who works for you. And if it's not the right fit, switching is easy. There are no subscriptions, no long term commitments. You just pay per session. Find therapy on your time, evenings, weekends, and Cancel up to 24 hours in advance at no cost. Whatever challenges you're facing, Grow GrowTherapy is here to help. Sessions average about $21 with insurance and some pay as little as $0 depending on their plan. Visit growtherapy.com acast today to get started. That's growtherapy.com acast growtherapy.com acast Availability and coverage vary by state and insurance plan.

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[Hannah Berner]

B R-I K.com Hannah Burner are those the cozy Tommy John Pajamas.

[Paige DeSorbo]

You're buying Paige desorbo. They are Tommy John. And yes, I'm stocking up because they make the best holiday gifts.

[Hannah Berner]

So generous.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I'm a generous girly, especially when it comes to me. So I'm grabbing the softest sleepwear, comfiest underwear, and best fitting loungewear.

[Hannah Berner]

So nothing for your bestie?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Of course. I'm getting my dad Tommy John. Oh, and you, of course.

[Hannah Berner]

It's giving holiday gifting made. Easy.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Exactly. Cozy, comfy, everyone's happy. Gift everyone on your list, including yourself with Tommy John and get 25% off your first order right now at TommyJohn dot comfort.

[Jane]

What was your favorite Christmas prior to having kids, prior to being the facilitator of Christmas?

[Hannah Berner]

My favorite Christmas was when I was 29. I was 29. I was in New York. I was single. I was sad.

[Jane]

I know what you're gonna say.

[Hannah Berner]

Gotten divorced a little while earlier and had gone to a holiday in Michigan with my family. And it was like, that's what people wanted to talk about. And I was like, talk about Jesus. You know, like there's. I'm not the center of attention today, guys. Not today.

[Jane]

No, no.

[Hannah Berner]

There's. A baby was born.

[Jane]

Born unto us.

[Hannah Berner]

So I didn't really feel like going home. I had a little bit, like in the single digits of thousands of dollars in savings, and I just decided to blow it on a trip by myself to Europe. And I went to London and Paris all alone. And it was magical.

[Jane]

It sounds magical.

[Hannah Berner]

It was awesome. I went wherever I felt like going, anytime, day or night. I have two friends from Nottingham who were living in New York at the time, but were home in Nottingham. So I went, took a train up there, spent a couple of days with their families in those towns where there's a building that contains the store, the post office, the police station kind of thing, and then a pub.

[Jane]

Right.

[Hannah Berner]

And that's it. Yeah, you know, like, that's all.

[Jane]

Yeah, like the holiday kind of.

[Hannah Berner]

Except it wasn't as storybook as that because it was like row houses kind of.

[Jane]

Yeah, right.

[Hannah Berner]

You know, but we just hung out at the pub where they make Guinness with Cassis in it or something. That was lovely. Everything was decorated to the nines inside this pub. And it just felt so like I was in a movie. Like the Holiday. A couple days before Christmas, I went to Topshop when that was still a thing.

[Jane]

Oh, yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

And with some of my money, I got their personal shopper service and spent like $500 on myself and got a new wardrobe. But that was awesome. And then I went to Paris and went to Christmas at the Notre Dame that morning.

[Jane]

You went to mass, just stood in the back.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, but I got to see.

[Jane]

I'm surprised you were able to even.

[Hannah Berner]

There's a bunch of different services and. Yeah, yeah. And then that night went to whatever the basilica is on Montmacle and listened to the nuns singing and it was just. I found a hundred euro on the ground.

[Jane]

Whoa. Merry Christmas.

[Hannah Berner]

I know. Yeah, it was really lovely.

[Jane]

That sounds awesome.

[Hannah Berner]

And I recommend it to anyone who has like a couple dollars lying around and doesn't want to be with their family.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Just plan something else.

[Jane]

Okay. Worst but funniest. Worst.

[Hannah Berner]

You know this one?

[Jane]

What is it?

[Hannah Berner]

You. I thought you were going to say that you knew it because you said worst but funniest. Worst. I can't remember. I thought when you said worst but funniest you were speaking of a particular holiday incident, which was when my stepmother on Christmas Eve did not realize you can't go grocery shopping for Christmas on Christmas Eve in the middle of nowhere.

[Jane]

The middle of nowhere being Michigan where you grew up.

[Hannah Berner]

Yes. You know, there's grocery stores. Look, it was a mad dash. Me and my sister.

[Jane]

Oh, I.

[Hannah Berner]

So we were like, we have to save Christmas. It was really fun actually, because who actually gets to do that? And because it's the. It's the plot of every. Every holiday movie is like, we've got to save the holiday. Oh no, the holiday's gonna be ruined if we don't do this. So we had a big family gathering the next day. Lots of people were coming over. It was gonna be about a dozen people total. Like, granted, my parents live in the land of excess. That's what my friends call it. Where they only shop at like Costco and Sam's Club. And so there's bulk everything and there's. We kind of combed through. We found some biscuit fixins and you know, we could make like rolls and things. And there was a ham somewhere in a deep freezer and we just. Fingers crossed it'll thaw by tomorrow kind of thing. But yeah, kind of. Nothing else. There wasn't fresh produce in the house.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

You know, like the stuff you're expecting at a. At a holiday.

[Jane]

At a holiday meal.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

So my sister and I first started out by calling every single grocery store we could find within probably a three hour radius of the house. But it was already like 9 o' clock at night. It was not.

[Jane]

That's bad.

[Hannah Berner]

I know. This was like liquor store Hours. That's what we ended up finding out was that it was 24 hour pharmacies and liquor stores and that was all that was open. So we got in the car.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

And we just started driving around, popping into every liquor store with the lights on.

[Jane]

I love it.

[Hannah Berner]

The one closest to my folks house, they had stovetop stuffing. So we just grabbed some of that. We got. There's a dip that's very popular in my family, which is mayonnaise.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

No.

[Jane]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

It's cream cheese, crab meat and cocktail sauce. We got the cream cheese and crab meat at cvs.

[Jane]

Perfect.

[Hannah Berner]

Canned crab meat. I couldn't believe it.

[Jane]

I can't believe it.

[Hannah Berner]

The cocktail sauce. No go. However, at the liquor store, they have horseradish. So we got that and we made our own cocktail sauce. So that was all set. That was all set.

[Jane]

Does cocktail sauce. I always thought it was sweet. It has horseradish in it.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, it's just horseradish and ketchup.

[Jane]

Like shrimp cocktail sauce.

[Hannah Berner]

It's just horseradish and ketchup.

[Jane]

I had no idea.

[Hannah Berner]

And then we found cans of green beans. This was all just like. I think we went to like four or five different.

[Jane]

Did you make a casserole?

[Hannah Berner]

Yes. And then we hit the jackpot because there's this one liquor store on Corona Ave. Which has a pizza place on the side of it. Like, you can order your pizza out of the liquor store when the pizza place is open. But it was like midnight at this point. Pizza place not open. Dude working behind the counter though, very chill. And we were like, can you please just go into the kitchen? We will buy any of the produce that's in your refrigerator right now. And we got like a full salad. This dude sold us like one of those big trays or like catering tray of just like vegetables out of the fridge. We were like, it's gonna go bad. You guys aren't open tomorrow. Just sell us whatever you have in the fridge. And so we basically went grocery shopping inside of a pizza place inside of a liquor store. And we saved Christmas.

[Jane]

Did the ham freeze or fall?

[Hannah Berner]

You don't actually need to, just so you know.

[Jane]

Okay.

[Hannah Berner]

Hams are already cooked. And just a personal preference. If it's a honey baked spiral cut ham, I like it kind of frozen still.

[Jane]

Oh, really?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. I like to peel off the layers and it's kind of crust. I know there's people out here listening that know exactly what I'm talking about. That sugary crunch of the ice crystals and then the. The honey on the outside. Oh, my gosh, it's so good. So, yeah, that one, you don't really even need to have thawed all the way. But, yeah, we made it work. We made all the stuff.

[Jane]

That's what Christmas is about. That's what the holidays are about. Making it work.

[Hannah Berner]

Is it?

[Jane]

I mean, when you're an adult.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, it was like, yeah, we saved Christmas and we just got real. Like, it was really fun. Oh, my gosh. I remember being at the Kings Market, which used to be called Quick Check, and both of us kind of like when you're looking for a book, a particular book at the library, you know, just being like, nope, nope, nope, nope, nope. Wait, hang on.

[Jane]

That might.

[Hannah Berner]

That might go in something. That'll work for something. And all of the liquor too, which helped. But, no, it was really fun and it felt. It felt really good to get the table set and to have food there.

[Jane]

That's sweet.

[Hannah Berner]

It was really, really fun.

[Jane]

And there's enough food for everybody.

[Hannah Berner]

There was enough food for everybody. We made it work. Funny thing is, I don't think anybody noticed. You know what I mean? It wasn't like, oh, this is weird. Like, that didn't happen, right? It was just like, yep, this looks like a holiday meal to us.

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[Hannah Berner]

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[Hannah Berner]

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[Jane]

It's so funny because when I think about it like before I moved from Portland especially but you know every single holiday was at my grandparents house. I mean we were always at my grandparents house but and it was Italian food. Thanksgiving and Christmas was all in rigatoni with meat sauce and homemade meatballs, homemade sausage.

[Hannah Berner]

I was gonna ask you when you opened this cause one thing I was thinking about when I got you this tomato candle gift is the I want you to tell the story of processing the tomatoes for sauce in the basement with the plastic tablecloths all over all the huge tables you said. And like ye.

[Jane]

Well my grandparents so they had a. It's like a little house in Southeast Portland and before Southeast Portland for anyone who lives there is like it is now. It used to be a kind of not like that but it was rad. And my grandma had two kitchens. She had like a little canning kitchen in the basement. So that's where like she had a giant shelf that was like as big as the wall in our studio that was just canned goods that she made. It would also be where like you know a freezer that you open from the top. It was just kind of like secondary kitchen. I don't even know if it had like a stove in it, but it was like it had a sink and it had some food and some places to make.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah.

[Jane]

Just kind of running up and down the stairs trying to get all the food together. And I. I have no idea at all how she made the amount of food that she did. And it was all so good. And it was all hot and fresh like when I got to the table, which is just crazy. I don't know how you do that.

[Hannah Berner]

That's one of my favorite skills, to show off.

[Jane]

It's really hard. But all my favorite meals are like that. And they were all my favorite Christmases too, because all the whole neighborhood, they had that house that everyone in the neighborhood would come to. And so the whole neighborhood, all these old Italian. It was one of the only times where I could see my grandparents speaking Italian because when their friends from the neighborhood, their older friends came by, then they would all speak in ital. And then we just sit there and listen to them.

[Hannah Berner]

Our Christmases growing up, I think are similar in that both of our families kind of were in time warps.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

You know, the ornaments, like half of them are broken because they're that old really thin glass.

[Jane]

Yeah. That kind of foily looking glass.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, those candies that you love in the dish that don't have wrappers on them.

[Jane]

They're all soft candies together. Yeah. I love those candies, but not that version of those candies. Like there was the ribbon candies. Did you have the ribbon candy? Yeah. But they're all stuck together, so it's really, literally really hard to get them out of the pool.

[Hannah Berner]

We would get at church on Christmas. All the little kids would get a brown paper bag lunch sack. My grandma kind of runs the church, so this is all Ruth and her like frugalness with a couple of those ribbon candies and an orange, which. Do you know what that's about?

[Jane]

I know that the orange has a special thing.

[Hannah Berner]

It's just like in Eastern Europe, an orange was like impossible to get in December.

[Jane]

It's like the biggest treat ever. Yes.

[Hannah Berner]

So it just. That was what was at the bottom of your stocking, no matter what. And so my grandma did that at church as well. But those candies too, those like ribbon. Those pretty ribbon candies. The ones with powdered sugar all over it.

[Jane]

Yeah. And the oval ones that have like carvings in them on either side. Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Yum.

[Jane]

I used to love that because the night that we would decorate my grandparents tree, if I'm remembering this correctly, that was also the night that my grandma made us pajamas every year and we would get our new pajamas.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh, we did too.

[Jane]

And then me and my sister would go stay upstairs and you know, it'd be hard to fall asleep because we'd be talking about Christmas and stuff like that.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. Oh, that's so cute.

[Jane]

It was really sweet.

[Hannah Berner]

Both of our, both of our grandparents homes were like kind of time froze in the 50s.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Part of it was boring because like the games were also from the 40s and like things you could play with.

[Jane]

Yeah, right.

[Hannah Berner]

It was like Chinese checkers.

[Jane]

Right? Yep. That's for sure. For sure. Chinese checkers.

[Hannah Berner]

Checkers is just that tin.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Of Chinese checkers. Cards. Definitely. Playing cards.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

But not like fun toys from the. From the 80s when we were growing up.

[Jane]

No, no, it was like old, old timey. It's like the TV shows. I mean, you know, it was like Perry Mason and Chinese checkers and shit. You know, it's like. Yeah, no, I remember. Well, I mean, it was just so fun and. And yeah, they did a really good job. Yeah, I think just seeing everyone come by like that was like such a cool thing. It'd be like after dinner, you know, just like we'd make the rounds. Yeah. We didn't have to, so maybe that's why I like it so much. But yeah, everyone would come by.

[Hannah Berner]

Growing up and especially with our family dispersing all over the place, I was like, what is a holiday? What am I supposed to do for the holiday? Like, am I hosting? Do I go? Where do I go?

[Jane]

I don't know. I really enjoyed Christmas throughout my twenties too, but I worked a lot on Christmas.

[Hannah Berner]

Oh yeah.

[Jane]

I mean that like. Cause we both bartended and like Kevin and I used to work, work at the bar four or five Christmases in.

[Hannah Berner]

A row or something like that.

[Jane]

It was so fun because everyone who didn't have family would come in. It was just super chill and everyone was in a good mood and stuff. Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

And just being not anywhere near your family makes it really hard to get together with people. Luckily, I lived for a long time when I was working in radio and Chicago, one of the most magical Christmas cities on earth. So remember this for next year. Every holiday, there's a restaurant in Andersonville in Chicago. It's a Swedish restaurant. It's called Tre Kroner. I don't know if I should say this out loud in front of all of our listeners, but how many of them possibly live near this place? Right. Okay, so the restaurant itself is the first floor of like a House, A large house. And every holiday season, from Thanksgiving to Christmas, they do a yule board in the, like, apartment above the restaurant. And it's completely candlelit.

[Jane]

What's a yule board again?

[Hannah Berner]

You've told me it's the Swedish, like, smorgasbord.

[Jane]

Gotcha.

[Hannah Berner]

Kind of a buffet.

[Jane]

I've been at a Swedish Christmas, so I think I've seen.

[Hannah Berner]

It's like a buffet.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Like you stand in a line and you walk by the cheese section and the fish section and the cured meat section. It's all Swedish food, but it was all candle lit. And there's glug, which is like a mulled wine, like a. Oh, so delicious. And then the waitresses would dress up like Santa Lucia.

[Jane]

What?

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah. And with the candles on their head and everything. And then they would. And it was so magical. And Chicago just in general at the holidays is. It's London and Chicago really do it.

[Jane]

Yeah, they're good at.

[Hannah Berner]

They do it up. They make it feel like something they really do.

[Jane]

Chicago's awesome. During the holidays.

[Hannah Berner]

I have a fun Chicago holiday Christmas story from my dad.

[Jane]

Let's do it.

[Hannah Berner]

So my dad, one year after my parents got divorced, my dad, one of his best friends is a doctor in Chicago. And my dad went down to visit him for the holidays. And his nurse, Italian lady, who has a big, like your grandparents kind of Christmas celebration. And so she invited my dad and Tim, his friend, over for Christmas. They were like in their late 30s, you know, I was. Well, not late 30s. I was a teenager. So they mid-30s. And so my dad went and he said it was, like, amazing. It was this Italian neighborhood, Little Italy in Chicago, and everyone had their front porches just, like done to the nines, you know, not a fancy neighborhood at all.

[Jane]

But I know I totally picture it.

[Hannah Berner]

Way done up, and he had a great time. And anyways, he came back and was like, and I think one of your friends was there. And I was like, what? He's like, I know. You know, this guy, he's like maybe a skateboarder that you know or something. Like he has kind of floppy hair like a skateboarder. And I was like, what's his name? And he was like, johnny. And I was like, whatever. I couldn't figure it out. And then he was like, oh, what's their last name? So he called his friend and he was like, johnny Galecki. Do you know who Johnny Galecki is?

[Jane]

Yep.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, he's one of the most famous actors on television. This was between Roseanne and the big Bang Theory for Johnny Galecki. So my dad had like a memory of him from, like, seeing him passively walking by us watching Rosanna's Kids. And probably like, that guy was on tv, but in his head he was like, that's one of Jane's friends.

[Jane]

Okay, I've got a story like that. Okay, so this is as told to me by my ex wife's uncle who lived in New York. And he had come to see me play once when I was playing there, and he took me back to Little Italy in the Bronx, and we stayed at his aunt's house in like, the last part of actual Little Italy in the Bronx. So that was fun and that was really cool. I had never been there and it was really interesting to see, but we were just walking around the neighborhood and he's showing me stuff and I'm asking him questions and he was telling me about all these very New York things. He went to Bonds to see the Clash. They did that big residency. And he was there and he was like, he's telling me all these stories. And he started talking about Joey Ramon. And I was like, did you know him?

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Or whatever.

[Jane]

And he's like, oh, yeah, I used to live above him and his mom. And he was like. He just basically started telling me this story about there's one Christmas the power went out and he couldn't get any food for some reason. And so he just went downstairs and knocked on Joey Ramon's mom's door. And she was like, come in. We've got food. And so he's sitting around the table eating with Joey Ramon and his mom. And Joey's all pissed off, I guess, because he's like, there's not enough food for everybody.

[Hannah Berner]

That's funny.

[Jane]

I also just love the idea of Joey Ramon, who's such an iconic standing figure, like on a stage, you know, with his hair and all that. And he's just sitting there, like, grumbling like, there's not enough rules. Mom, why'd you let Mike down here? Anyways? Okay, so what do we want to say to everyone this year for their holiday wishes from us?

[Hannah Berner]

Be kind to yourselves and one another. Yeah. This has just been such a doom and gloom kind of year. And there's no end in sight, apparently. Here's what I wish. I wish people would take more time off. Take more time off. Use your vacations. You're not winning any awards by not using your vacation time, okay? Like, it's there. You have to take a day off. You have to take a week off. You have to take two weeks off because there may come a time like it has for us where you can't ever take a week off, you know? So enjoy it. Enjoy your time and try to enjoy your family. If your family sucks, work on getting your chosen family together. I have been seeing a really sweet thing on the Internet this week on threads mostly, where people are saying, hey, I'm an orphan for Christmas or for Hanukkah or for Thanksgiving, whatever. And I'm getting together with a bunch of friends and we're gonna make food at my house. Come by. Total strangers just letting us know, hey, there's a table over at my house. We're making a ham, we're making a turkey. Come by. Isn't that sweet?

[Jane]

It is sweet. It reminds me very much of the second year after I gotten divorced and I was on my own for Christmas and my friends, who are all Swedish, that was the Swedish Christmas I went to. They all took me in and I was like the orphan at their big Swedish and they were like drinking schnapps and singing crazy Swedish songs and just yelling and it was so fun. So if we can try and find someone that needs a good adopted family. Happy holidays, people. Happy holidays and thank you for all your support.

[Hannah Berner]

Seriously, there would be no holidays without you. So we really, really appreciate it.

[Jane]

All right. Christmas music and out.

[Hannah Berner]

Is it the Pogues?

[Jane]

Fairy tale New York.

[Hannah Berner]

There we go. Isn't that a Christmas song?

[Jane]

Yeah. I'm gonna put Christmas music in this episode.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay, good.

[Jane]

Non licensed Christmas.

[Hannah Berner]

Yeah, it I don't care.

[Jane]

No.

[Hannah Berner]

Sue us for Christmas.

[Jane]

Yeah, go sue us for Christmas. The pokes.

[Hannah Berner]

An old man said to me.

[Jane]

Won'T say another one. And then I sang a song the.

[Hannah Berner]

Rare old mountains you I turned my face away.

[Jane]

And dreamed about.

[Paige DeSorbo]

God.

[Jane]

I'm a lucky one coming to one.

[Hannah Berner]

I've got a feeling.

[Jane]

This year's from.

[Hannah Berner]

Beginning.

[Jane]

So happy Christmas.

[Hannah Berner]

I love you, baby. I can see a better time.

[Jane]

When.

[Hannah Berner]

All our dreams come true. Maybe we could put a Spotify playlist together and put it in the show notes.

[Jane]

Yeah, we could for sure. Yeah. Yeah, we should do that.

[Hannah Berner]

Look in the show notes for some. For some gifts. Gifts from us.

[Jane]

Yeah.

[Hannah Berner]

Okay. I love you all, listeners.

[Jane]

Happy holidays and everything. Bye.

[Hannah Berner]

When you first took my hand on a cold Christmas eve you promised me Broadway was waiting for me.

[Jane]

You're a pretty queen of New York City.

[Announcer]

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[Hannah Berner]

Hannah Berner Are those the cozy Tommy John pajamas you're buying?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Paige de Sorbo they are Tommy John and yes, I'm stocking up because they make the best holiday gifts.

[Hannah Berner]

So generous.

[Paige DeSorbo]

Well, I'm a generous girly, especially when it comes to me. So I'm grabbing the softest sleepwear, comfiest underwear, and best fitting loungewear.

[Hannah Berner]

So nothing for your bestie?

[Paige DeSorbo]

Of course I'm getting my dad, Tommy John. Oh, and you, of course.

[Hannah Berner]

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[Paige DeSorbo]

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