Podcast
The Elegant Warrior with Heather Hansen
Hosted by Heather Hansen · EN
This is the Elegant Warrior Podcast. It's a podcast about elegance and all of its forms. We're talking about our definitions of elegance and how we maintain it in times of trial. We're also talking about how we can advocate for ourselves with elegance and in a way that makes us most likely to win.
I'm your host, Heather Hansen, author, speaker, consultant, trainer, and self-advocacy expert.
Let's talk Elegance!
15episodes
Episodes
Newest firstAll episodes
346: The New Power Pose-and How to Use It to Win
Dec 1100:15:52Tap to summarizeIn today's episode, Heather invites you to rethink everything you've been taught about power poses, confidence, and presence. While the classic "hands-on-hips" stance is often linked to authority, this episode reveals a far more effective and far more compassionate power move: simply sitting down. Drawing from real experiences in leadership, advocacy, and high-stakes conversations, Heather shares how lowering yourself to someone else's level can transform interactions, build trust, and leave a lasting impact. From courtroom moments to everyday leadership lessons, you'll see why compassion, presence, and perspective are the true sources of personal power. Together, we explore why power doesn't require taking up more space, sometimes it is found in offering space to others. In this episode, you'll learn: The Real Power in Sitting Down Why sitting communicates presence, compassion, and connection more effectively than traditional "power poses." Compassion as a Leadership Superpower How compassion strengthens advocacy, relationships, and influence, and why people feel safer when you're willing to sit with them. The Psychology of Being at Eye Level How leveling the physical playing field changes energy, reduces intimidation, and allows genuine dialogue. Lessons from the Courtroom What a malpractice case taught Heather Hansen about human connection, and why a simple act like sitting on a patient's bed moved an entire jury. A Story Heather Hansen Never Forgot The emotional impact of a colleague and how 18 minutes of presence can change a life. Empathy vs. Compassion The difference between feeling what others feel and seeing what they see, and why action is what matters most. Why Slowing Down is the New Power Move In a world obsessed with speed, volume, and "looking powerful," Heather Hansen explains why slowing down, sitting down, and connecting deeply are the traits that build true charisma. In this episode: [00:00] Rethinking the classic power pose [01:10] Why the "stand big" approach isn't always effective [02:20] Compassion research in healthcare [03:17] A malpractice case and the power of sitting at the bedside [04:50] How sitting changes difficult conversations at work [05:39] The psychology of being on the same level [07:30] Joanne's story and the impact of presence [10:14] Compassion as the foundation of advocacy [12:40] Cognitive vs. affective empathy [14:30] Why sitting is the new power pose [15:08] How presence builds confidence and charisma Resources and Links: 🎥 Heather Hansen TEDx Talk on empathy and perspective Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Follow Heather on Facebook Connect with Heather on LinkedIn Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok heather@elegantwarrior.com
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345: How to Avoid Being Scammed by AI, Other, and Yourself
Dec 400:24:46Tap to summarizeIn today's episode, Heather Hansen breaks down one of the most important skills we all need in a world shaped by rapid information, social media trends, artificial intelligence, and constant noise: the ability to avoid being fooled, misled, or scammed. As a trial attorney who spent decades cross-examining witnesses and uncovering the truth, Heather Hansen shares a simple but powerful four-part process you can use to stay discerning, think critically, and protect yourself from false ideas, misleading content, and even your own unexamined thoughts. Whether it is viral AI clips, trending online statistics, persuasive pitches, or the limiting beliefs in your own mind, Heather Hansen teaches you how to slow down, investigate, and choose what to believe with intention. In this episode, you'll learn: Why We Get Fooled So Easily How speed, distraction, and overstimulation make us more vulnerable than ever to scams and misinformation. The PITS Process for Discernment Pause, Is this true, Take the other side, and Settle into how it feels. Heather explains each step in detail and how to apply it in real time. How to Consider the Source Why credentials, familiarity, and authority figures can trick you into believing something without questioning it. How to Take the Other Side The trial-lawyer technique that helps you evaluate any claim or belief by arguing the opposite and gathering evidence for both perspectives. How to Stop Scamming Yourself Why your own thoughts often fool you more than outside influences and how to challenge internal stories like "I'm too old" or "I should wait." Real Examples from Everyday Life From AI-generated TikTok videos to misleading job-loss statistics to high-profile investment fraud, Heather shows how the PITS method exposes the truth. In this episode: [00:00] Heather Hansen on Thanksgiving, life updates, and the importance of discernment [00:55] Why avoiding scams and misinformation matters more than ever [03:17] The PITS process and how to use it [05:35] Step 1: Pause and consider the source [07:59] Step 2: Ask "Is this true" and why truth is rarely simple [08:45] Step 3: Take the other side and gather opposing evidence [10:21] A real-world example involving misleading workforce statistics [12:46] How the PITS process applies to viral AI content [15:09] Why credentials do not equal credibility [17:29] How investors could have avoided the Theranos debacle [19:53] Using the PITS process on your own thoughts and limiting beliefs [22:18] The benefits of starting before you feel ready [23:50] How discernment improves confidence, advocacy, and decision-making Resources and Links: 📖 Book: Loving What Is by Byron KatieExplore The Work, a method for questioning stressful thoughts. 📖 Book: Compassionomics by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak and Dr. Anthony MazzarelliDiscover the science behind why compassion improves outcomes. 📖 Book: Wonder Drug by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak and Dr. Anthony MazzarelliLearn seven research-backed ways serving others benefits your health and well-being. Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Follow Heather on Facebook Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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344: How to Show Compassion
Nov 2000:22:22Tap to summarizeIn today's episode, Heather Hansen explores one of the most powerful tools we have for connection, credibility, and healing: compassion. Drawing from research, courtroom experience, and two decades defending healthcare providers, Heather Hansen breaks down the real meaning of compassion and the specific actions that genuinely make people feel seen, heard, and supported. She also shares new insights from recent medical research on how compassion improves patient outcomes, reduces burnout for healthcare providers, and strengthens every relationship in your life. Whether you are a leader, parent, partner, clinician, or friend, these eight proven behaviors can transform the way you communicate and connect. In this episode, you'll learn: The Real Definition of Compassion – Why it is not about suffering with others, but about recognizing their struggle and taking action to relieve it. Eight Proven Compassion Behaviors – The research-backed actions that make people feel understood, respected, and supported. Why Tone Matters – How the way you speak communicates your energy and becomes a key sign of compassion. The Power of Nonjudgment – How dropping judgment makes people more open, honest, and trusting. Gender and Race Differences in Compassion Needs – What research shows women and people of color uniquely identify as compassionate behavior. Everyday Compassion – How to apply these actions at home, at work, and in your community to create meaningful change. In this episode: [00:00] Heather Hansen on being an Elegant Warrior and embracing life's challenges [02:00] Why compassion is one of the three pillars of credibility, compassion, and charisma [04:47] How compassion affects patient outcomes and healthcare burnout [07:10] The eight behaviors that signal compassion in medical research [09:34] Listening carefully and taking concerns seriously [11:59] Eye contact, presence, tone, and nonjudgment [14:09] Why the least judgmental people are the most trusted [16:36] Responding to opportunities to show compassion [18:30] What women uniquely perceive as compassionate [19:03] What people of color identify as signs of respect and compassion [21:26] How to create a ripple effect of compassion in your daily life Resources and Links: 📘 Book: Compassionomics by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak and Dr. Anthony Mazzarelli 📘 Book: Wonder Drug by Dr. Stephen Trzeciak and Dr. Anthony Mazzarelli Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Follow Heather on Facebook Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok heather@elegantwarrior.com
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343: Speak Up with Judge Rosemarie Aquilina
Nov 600:28:56Tap to summarizeIn today's episode, Heather Hansen sits down with her good friend and returning guest, Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, Michigan judge, author, and trailblazer best known for presiding over the Larry Nassar USA Gymnastics case. Together, they dive into Judge Aquilina's newest book, Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts, and unpack what it truly means to embrace your voice, conquer fear, and stand in your self-worth. Drawing from her decades on the bench, her time in the military, and her role as a mentor for women, Rosemarie shares how we can turn fear into fuel, failure into wisdom, and change into growth. In this episode, you'll learn: The Power of Fear – Why fear isn't something to eliminate but something to learn from. Owning Failure – How accepting your mistakes can transform them into moments of strength. The "Blue Ink" Lesson – How one lawyer turned public embarrassment into a courtroom victory. The Language of Leadership – Why small word choices (like using the instead of a) can change how people perceive your authority. Embracing Change – How preparation, adaptability, and voice help you thrive through uncertainty. Building Self-Worth – Why being your own hero is the foundation of authentic confidence. In this episode: [00:00] Meet Judge Rosemarie Aquilina, her story from Munich to Michigan's first female JAG Corps member [02:00] Fear, failure, and the courage to show up anyway [06:30] The "blue ink" courtroom story and lessons in embarrassment [09:30] How metaphors and language shape persuasion [11:00] Embracing change, preparation, and control [15:40] Why Judge Aquilina never asks "why" [18:00] The difference between a solution and the solution [22:00] How to be an insider in your own life [26:00] Writing as a tool for self-discovery and healing Resources & Links: 📘 Speak Up: Lessons in Trusting Your Instincts – Buy the book here 🌐 Follow Judge Rosemarie Aquilina – Website Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Follow Heather on Facebook Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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342: The Secret Formula to Being a Successful Negotiator-Ambition + Empathy with John Lowry
Oct 3000:41:03Tap to summarizeIn today's episode, Heather sits down with John Lowry, lawyer, negotiation coach, and author of Negotiation Made Simple, to uncover what it really takes to become a confident, effective negotiator. John's experience as a professor at Pepperdine University's renowned Straus Institute for Dispute Resolution, CEO of The Lowry Group, and consultant to major organizations gives him a unique lens into the psychology and strategy behind every great deal. Together, Heather and John explore how mastering negotiation isn't just about tactics; it's about managing yourself, understanding others, and learning to balance ambition with empathy. In this episode, you'll learn: The Inner Negotiation – Why the first and most important negotiation happens inside your own mind and how managing your emotions, fears, and self-talk determines your success. Cooperation vs. Competition – How to know when to lean into collaboration and when to assert your position with strength and clarity. The Power of Patience – Why "you often pay for the time you save" and how slowing down the process helps you make better, more strategic decisions. Axelrod's Four Steps to Effective Negotiation – Start cooperatively, respond in kind, forgive, and be clear. John and Heather unpack how these steps build trust and drive results. The Ambition + Empathy Equation – What Harvard research reveals about top dealmakers and how combining drive with understanding gives you a competitive edge. Real-World Lessons – Insights from John's work with executives, mediators, and organizations on how to use negotiation to build healthier relationships and stronger outcomes. In this episode: [00:00] Meet John Lowry – Lawyer, author, and negotiation expert [02:46] The first negotiation: managing yourself [06:17] When to cooperate and when to compete [10:47] Getting comfortable with uncertainty [14:49] Why patience pays in negotiation [18:00] Recognizing signals vs. words [22:14] Forgiveness and cooperation in business [26:29] Collaboration vs. cooperation explained [31:12] Building trust through clarity [35:20] Ambition and empathy, the twin pillars of great dealmakers Resources & Links: 📘 Book: Negotiation Made Simple by John Lowry 🎙️ Podcast: Negotiation Made Simple Podcast 🌐 The Lowry Group: lowrygroup.net Connect with Heather: Schedule a call with Heather Follow Heather on Instagram Website Watch Episodes on Youtube Heather's TikTok heather@elegantwarrior.com The Elegant Warrior Podcast and content posted by Heather Hansen is presented solely for general informational, educational, and entertainment purposes. The use of information on this podcast or materials linked from this podcast or website is at the user's own risk. It is not intended as a substitute for the advice of a physician, professional coach, psychotherapist, or other qualified professional, diagnosis, or treatment. Users should not disregard or delay in obtaining medical advice for any medical or mental health condition they may have and should seek the assistance of their healthcare professionals for any such conditions.
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