Our Family C-Suite Can’t Get Through a Meeting Without Yelling

Summary

Podcast Summary: EntreLeadership

Episode Title: Our Family C-Suite Can’t Get Through a Meeting Without Yelling
Host: Ramsey Network
Guests: John Felkins (EntreLeadership Head Coach), Ryan Miller (CEO, Family Business Leader)
Date: April 8, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode dives into the real-life challenges of running a multimillion-dollar family business. John Felkins coaches Ryan Miller, CEO of a $47 million manufacturing company, on how to lead effectively in a family-run C-suite where professional discussions frequently devolve into heated arguments. The conversation focuses on strategies for maintaining respect, clarity, and alignment with co-owning siblings—offering practical leadership advice for anyone navigating both business and family dynamics.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Blessings and Burdens of Family Business

• Context: Ryan is the eldest of three brothers who each hold executive roles (CEO, VP of Engineering, VP of Sales) in their family-owned company. Their partner meetings often become contentious.
• Key Insight: While their executive team meetings run smoothly, their family partners-only meetings escalate quickly—reflecting how personal history can complicate professional interactions.

"We're overly passionate maybe sometimes, which means we argue sometimes. Especially when it's just the three of us. We get a little overly passionate and tend to argue a bit in those meetings." – Ryan Miller (02:09)

2. Role Confusion and Escalation

• Context: The brothers struggle to separate family dynamics from professional ones, often switching ‘hats’ mid-conversation.
• Key Issue: Subjective comments and personal attacks creep in, undermining respect and productivity.

"It's just opinions getting thrown around and then voices getting raised and, like, that's stupid. That's dumb. Why'd you do that?... I want some input on what I can do better to lead them. I'm the oldest brother." – Ryan Miller (02:51)

3. Maintaining Professionalism in Family Settings

• Advice from John Felkins: Treat each family member according to their executive role in meetings ("CEO," "VP of Sales," etc.) and reserve 'family' roles for outside the office.
• Leadership Lesson: Maintain the same level of respect as with any executive team; don't tolerate personal attacks.

“They don’t call him dad. They call him Dave. And they treat him like he’s the CEO.” — John Felkins, referencing Dave Ramsey’s example with his own kids in business (04:13)

4. Constructive Confrontation

• Principle Distilled: It's important to challenge each other but not to put each other down.
• Ryan’s Reflection: Recognizing that, despite disagreements, mutual respect is non-negotiable.

"It's okay to call each other out. It's not okay to put each other down." — John Felkins (06:03)

5. Setting Structure and Tone

• Current Weakness: Partner meetings lack structure—no agenda or meeting notes—which contributes to emotional escalation.
• Proposed Solution: Establish a formal agenda and have a trusted assistant record minutes.
• John’s Suggestion: Outsider presence (like an assistant) can help keep interactions professional and accountable.

"That's probably just as we're talking here... the agenda is probably a must." — Ryan Miller (08:05)
“You can put your assistant in there to take the notes and bring the temperature down.” — John Felkins (11:15)

6. De-escalation and Self-Leadership

• Ownership: Ryan acknowledges he is responsible for setting the tone as CEO and eldest brother.
• Practical Tools:
  • Take a deep breath
  • Don’t respond with escalation
  • Embrace and respect differing viewpoints genuinely

"If I can keep that level of tone rather than everything within me rising... I think the tide shifts." — Ryan Miller (11:15)
“The proof is going to come that first time one of your little brothers says something to you that ticks you off and you don’t take the bait.” — John Felkins (11:33)

7. Heart-Level Leadership

• Transformational Advice: Real change comes when you authentically value your siblings’ perspectives, not just manage your reactions.
• Ryan’s Takeaway: He resolves to internalize this, quoting John Maxwell’s advice:
  “True success is when the people closest to you love and respect you the most.” (13:04)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "My blood pressure starts raising a bit, of course, and I get a little defensive and I'm like, hey, let me stay in my. You stay in your lane ... I feel guilty at times where I let this get out of hand." – Ryan Miller (02:51)
• "You got to treat each other like the VP of Sales, the VP of Engineering and the CEO of the company." – John Felkins (04:34)
• "I do care about what's happening over there in that department. And you're not dealing with it fast enough. And it's broken for years. What's wrong with you?" – Ryan Miller, illustrating the partner dynamic (05:00)
• "Who sets the tone in the meetings? ... It's me... Everything arises in fault. Right. I'm the cap. I feel that." – John Felkins & Ryan Miller (09:55)
• “When you get to the point where your first response is a deep breath and an appreciation for they care too, those two things are probably transformational for me.” – Ryan Miller (13:04)

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Important Timestamps

• 00:05 – 01:02: Introduction to the family business and current challenges
• 02:09 – 03:35: Ryan describes the partner meetings and emotional escalation
• 04:13 – 04:34: Discussion of professionalism using Dave Ramsey's business-family boundaries
• 05:00 – 06:07: Personal attacks vs. constructive confrontation
• 08:03 – 08:59: Need for agenda, structure, and possibly a neutral party (assistant) for notes
• 09:55 – 10:38: Ownership and setting the tone as CEO
• 11:15 – 12:40: De-escalation, respect, and shifting the meeting dynamic
• 13:04 – 13:30: Ryan commits to implementing the advice, referencing a personal leadership motto

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Actionable Takeaways

• Separate Family and Professional Roles: In meetings, refer to each other by executive titles and maintain professional decorum.
• Introduce Structure: Use agendas and have a trusted, neutral party keep minutes.
• Self-Regulate: As the leader, model calm and respect, especially under provocation.
• Value Each Other’s Perspectives: True change requires genuine appreciation for co-owners' opinions.
• Connect Outside of Business: Schedule family time that isn't about operational issues to nurture trust and relationships.

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Tone & Language

The episode balances vulnerability and candor—with Ryan openly acknowledging his struggles and John offering straight-shooting advice. The tone is warm, practical, and relatable, making the conversation both instructive and encouraging for anyone facing similar challenges.

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Summary Prepared For: Listeners who want actionable leadership advice for family businesses or any business with strong personalities at the top.
Host’s Closing Thought: “When the people at the top are aligned, the entire company feels it.”

Transcript

[A]

Building a business with family sounds great until you're in the room together. Ryan Miller helps lead a 47 million dollar manufacturing company with 190 team members. It's a second generation business and he runs it alongside his two brothers. They're competitive, they're intense, they're passionate and they all care deeply about the company. But when strong personalities share, ownership align isn't automatic. As the CEO and the oldest brother, Ryan feels the weight of keeping both the business and the relationships healthy. And lately those lines have started to blur. Today, Entree leadership's head coach, John Felkins sits down with Ryan to unpack what it takes to lead. Well, when the people across the table share your last name. If you run a business with partners, especially family, this conversation will hit close to home. Listen in.

[B]

So thanks, Dave. Well, let's, let's dive right in. Tell me what's on your mind and what's going on.

[C]

Hey John, good to be here with you today. Family business. I have two brothers that are partners with me in the business. And you know, I always say we're highly passionate brothers.

[B]

I just gotta ask you, you always say we're very passionate. What's that code for?

[C]

Oh boy? We argue sometimes. Is that fair?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, that's fair. That's how we do it.

[C]

We're overly passionate maybe sometimes, which means we argue sometimes. And especially when it's just the three of us. We have an eight man executive team. John and team. My two brothers sit on that, that team and we run the company. But we're, we're trying to meet monthly as just partners and, and talk about the higher level things and maybe kind of de, escalate some of the conversations before they get to my team, make sure that we're actually aligned. What are some, what are some thoughts that you have about how can I lead those, those better? I'm leading my brothers in those meetings. One idea is getting our spouses in the room just adding, you know, three plus three. The other idea is I have two sons that are 20 and almost 18. Bringing them to kind of change the atmosphere a bit. Does that make sense?

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

So just we do struggle with our, with our partners meetings. Our normal meetings with the executive team is great. Everybody, you know, controls themselves just fine. But we get a little overly passionate and tend to argue a bit in those meetings. I just, I want some input on what, what I can do better to lead them. I'm the oldest brother.

[B]

Okay, so, so you're pay. I'm, you're, you're Filling in some of the gaps here for me.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

In this picture, you're the oldest brother. What are the roles like within the company? What are the titles?

[C]

Sure. I'm CEO. My second brother Darren is VP of engineering. Little brother Kyle, he's 12 years younger than me, and Darren's right in the middle. But then Kyle is VP of sales.

[B]

If I were to go and watch the meeting, what would I see that later on you would be like, that's the thing that I'm trying to fix.

[C]

It's a great question, man. I would say things getting escalated on that should not be escalated. I mean, again, we're not arguing about spending 2 million on a new project that we're doing next year or this year. It's not that. It's just opinions getting thrown around and then voices getting raised and, like, that's stupid. That's dumb. Why'd you do that? You know, you need to deal with that better. And then my blood pressure starts raising a bit, of course, and I get a little defensive and I'm like, hey, let me stay in my. You stay in your lane. And so trying to have the meeting rhythm, John, to where there is no escalation. I mean, we're, you know, we're Christians, we're faith based. I feel guilty at times where I let this get out of hand. That was, we crossed a line there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And I, and I probably helped in that. I mean, it's not just them. You know, I, I, I don't know if you got brothers or not, but, but we're, we're, you know, and we can just go at it pretty quickly. And, and I just, I'm ashamed at times with how those meetings end up. And we're good. Like, at the end of the day, we're good.

[B]

Right.

[C]

But there's a better way. And I, I, and I've, I've wrestled with this for years.

[B]

I mean, we, we raise our voices sometimes. We, we get pretty intense about things. But there is a line.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

There are things that are appropriate or not appropriate. So if I could. I don't want to poke at you too much, but you have your executive team.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Would you say that to them?

[C]

No.

[B]

You, you know, you probably have heard Dave say before, even with the kids in the business. Right. He's got three kids that work in a business. They don't, they don't call him dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

They call him Dave.

[C]

Yep.

[B]

And they treat him like he's the CEO.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Not like he's dad. And then when they're at the lake or whatever. It's a different, you know, it's Papa Dave or, you know, it's. It's dad.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I think you can get passionate, you can get worked up, but you got to treat each other like the VP of Sales, the VP of Engineering and the V& the CEO of the company.

[C]

Really good. Really good reminder, John. Yeah.

[B]

If you imagined yourself the first meeting you go back to and you want to talk to your brothers about that, what do you think you'd need to say to him?

[C]

I think what you just said works. It helps. You know, one thing is a little bit different in those meetings that we are taking our roles off a bit and we're three partners who are talking about all facets of the business. So it feels a little bit differently. So my brother Kyle will say, well, I'm not saying that as VP of sales, I'm saying that as an owner. So I do care about what's happening over there in that department. And you're not dealing with it fast enough. And it's broken for years. What's wrong with you? You know, and so I think what you touched on was really good too. But we still can talk to each other as executives. That's very fair.

[B]

And co owners.

[C]

And co owners.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

And that same level of respect, it must be there. But yeah, I like what you said there. Remembering the hats that we're wearing and just, and trying not to escalate and going personal. You kind of, you kind of alluded to that.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

Hey, you're a dumbo. That's, you know, that's, you know, you're an idiot now. And so whenever it gets personal where we're calling each other out and we know that we're not, I mean, I respect my brothers and they're smart and they do me as well.

[B]

And it's okay to call each other out. It's not okay to put each other down.

[C]

That's right. Okay.

[B]

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[C]

Man, it should be me. I have actually been open to the idea of. Me. My little brother at times in the past has chaired the meeting. I said I don't need to. This is just a partner meeting. You can share the meeting. And it's just three of us talking. So we tried that for a while. It worked. Okay. It's kind of back in my lap now to come up with an agenda which we've also been pretty loose with. We're just, you know, we probably haven't made it professional enough. Like, you know, when we do an executive meeting or any other meeting company, there's an agenda and we go through it, of course. But it's like this is more like three bros hanging out and talking about whatever comes to our mind. And that's probably just as we're talking here.

[B]

John kind of sets the table, doesn't it?

[C]

Yeah, it sets the table wrong. The table's not set very well, actually. You know, so maybe that's another thing that I'm missing is that the agenda is probably a must.

[B]

Who normally takes notes in your. Your leadership meetings?

[C]

My assistant.

[B]

Okay. And as your assistant in these meetings, he's not. Okay.

[C]

That's an interesting perspective.

[B]

You know, that it might be helpful, like you're saying, to have an agenda.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Have a point to the meeting.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And have somebody there to record decisions.

[C]

I do feel like. And maybe the wife is a. Spouses are a bad idea. We've. We've done one of those. But. But I felt a little bit like somebody else. That's a good idea. I felt like somebody else in the room does just bring all the. In a good way. As long as we can trust my assistant, which we absolutely do. Great guy. If there's a trust level there with him, can we speak openly then that could possibly work. Then he's actually taking Minutes like we do in every other meeting.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

We don't. In this meeting, we kind of just talk and we leave, hopefully with a plan. I think we all feel heard. We all, like. We know how we all feel about these three topics. But that's a good idea. Yeah.

[B]

And that's good for you, that perspective and that outside, you know, view of things. So one other thing, and I'm gonna circle back to what you said about who sets the tone, but I just want to mention your spouses. I think it would be fantastic if y' all go out to dinner once in a while, all six of you, and have that connection and build that trust. But it might just not be time to tackle the problems and really get after the hard stuff. It's more about, let's connect as a family. And, you know, it is around the business. We're all in this together because. Because your spouses are in the business, whether or not they are. Whether or not they're in the office, they're in the business. Right?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Let me ask you again. Who do you think sets the tone in these?

[C]

It's me.

[B]

It's you.

[C]

Everything arises in fault. Right. I'm the cap. I feel that.

[B]

That's right.

[C]

That's why I'm asking the question today. I feel like I fail, John. I know I have.

[B]

That's big of you. That's humble of you, and so I appreciate that. But. But let's say you go back, you say we're going to do it differently. You conduct yourself a little bit differently. You determined. I'm not going to call my brother dumb or I'm not going to give him that little brother, big brother look.

[C]

Sure.

[B]

Right.

[C]

Fair.

[B]

That I've gotten from my brother. Not to say that I have PTSD around this issue, but I do have an older brother, so I'm now all of a sudden talking to him. But where do you think the rubber will meet the road? When do you think you will actually be able to change the tone of the meeting?

[C]

It's a great question. I think we love the word de escalate, and we talk about that word a lot. If I truly de escalate it by not raising, by not responding, by not doing that look that you just talked about, by just saying look, when you're done, we'll keep going here. I'm fine with your perspective. I don't know if I quite agree, but that's okay. If I can keep that level of tone rather than everything within me rising, I think if I can change that tone and not respond if I can control myself because truly, I am the one responsible. I think the tide shifts. I think.

[B]

Yeah, I think so too. You can put your assistant in there to take the notes and bring the temperature down. You can do all these things. But the proof is going to come that first time one of your little brothers says something to you that ticks you off and you don't take the bait.

[C]

Yeah. You don't take. That's great, man.

[B]

And you just take that. That deep breath and. And I understand that there can be some willpower and like you knowing in your head this is what I need to do. I need to not fire back. But my challenge to you is to do the work to get to the point where you don't feel like you need to fire back, where you actually appreciate this other person's perspective and don't take it personally. And also, that doesn't mean you just roll over and, you know, you're not running the thing by popularity poll.

[C]

Right, right.

[B]

But other people can have their opinions and we can still move forward. And that moment will be the moment that it actually changes in a room.

[C]

It's really good. You're almost challenging me, John, on my level of respect for their opinion in general. I mean, it needs to be legitimate in my own mind, like their opinion. That's right. And when I can accept what they're saying as being a very valid opinion as well side of how I see it, then truly I'll be open to hearing them out. That's really good. Maybe that is a hard issue for me.

[B]

They're the ones closest to your heart. They're family. It goes all the way back. It's totally understandable. I don't want you going out of here beating yourself up. It's not about whether you failed or didn't fail. It's about, hey, I want to get better in this area. You're already a fantastic leader. And when you get to the point where you can just. Your first response is a deep breath and an appreciation for they care too.

[C]

That's really good. Those two things are probably transformational for me. The deep breath and a true appreciation. Yeah. My life motto from John Maxwell is true success is when the people closest to you love and respect you the most. Like, I want to get this right because I care about Darren and Kyle and, you know, their families, and I do. So I want to do this. Well, would you be up for saying that to him? Yeah. Yeah, I am. I would be. Yeah. I could do that.

[B]

Awesome.

[C]

Challenge accepted, John.

[B]

Awesome.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Let's have that be the next step.

[C]

Let's do that. Okay.

[B]

All right.

[C]

I can handle that. All right.

[B]

Awesome. Thanks for coming today.

[C]

Thanks for your time, John. Appreciate you.

[B]

You bet.

[A]

What John walked Ryan through is the kind of disciplined leadership most owners avoid because it forces clarity. And clarity isn't always comfortable, but when the people at the top are aligned, the entire company feels it. If you and your leadership team need that kind of alignment, one of our coaches would love to help. We'll leave a link in the description where you can book a free 30 minute consultation. I'm your host, Dave Ramsey, and this is entree leadership.