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- [00:06]
A
Today, we're talking about something that should be simple, but somehow has gone completely off the rails. Ridiculous job requirements. A lot of companies out there today are desperate for talent that doesn't exist yet. They're chasing fantasy resumes instead of real people in roles they can't even define. And instead of slowing down long enough to get clear and honest about what they need, they're pushing out job descriptions that sound like they were written by unpaid interns, using AI full of buzzwords, vague language, and no real substance. Meanwhile, the real people reading these things are thinking, is it me, or am I the crazy one who doesn't qualify for any of this? Or they're wondering why the heck they need five years of experience and three programming languages for an entry level job. Here's why all this matters. When your job description doesn't match the job, you don't just miss good candidates. You actually attract delusional donkeys who apply for anything. You also communicate that you don't know what you're doing, and that kills trust fast. So today, Entree Leadership's John Felkins is going to look at some of the cringiest, most overstuffed job descriptions our team could find, and then show you how to write ones that actually make candidates want to apply. Let's get into it.
- [01:33]
B
Thanks, Dave. Okay, let's start with a job description that's totally unhinged. This is taken from a real posting for a visionary role at a tech company. Behold. Behold the company in the eye of the storm. I can't put myself in the place of the idiot that wrote this. Read it like you idiot. Read it like you. You want me to, like, get into character of the person that wrote? Okay. All right. Get back over there. Behold. Behold the company in the eye of the storm. A metaverse and play to earth ecosystem. We must build key deliverables in tandem with the product owner. You must define. For lo, the product owner is the one who is called owner. You shall be the one to have many projects to manage. You may see the sunrise and the sunset, but only through yonder window, for busy you will be. No honeymoon period. You shall have crybabies. We will scorn. You shall toil. Amen. Are you kidding me? This isn't a job description. It's a lost chapter of Lord of the Rings. Who wrote this? Gandalf. You shall toil. Great. Nothing says healthy culture like a curse disguised as onboarding. No honeymoon period. Translation. We skip right past welcome and go straight to Good luck, sucker. And my favorite crybaby's. We shall scorn. If you have to say that in the ad, I'm already worried about what happens in team meetings. Shameforall leaders. Here's the problem. If your posting sounds chaotic, you're gonna attract chaotic people. Your job description is the first impression of your leadership. If you lead with drama and confusion, don't be surprised when drama and confusion walk through the front door. You don't have to be boring, but you do need to be clear. Clarity is kind, and it's where healthy leadership starts. All right, next one the Unicorn Accounting Role I'm going to read this in English, but it might not sound like it. CPA designation required five to eight years of progressive public accounting experience Experience with IPO preparation and SEC reporting knowledge of U.S. gAAP, IFRS and PCAOB standards. Oh, fluency in Mandarin preferred salary range $35,000 to $60,000 a year this is not a job description, it's a ransom note. So to translate, here's what they want. They want a certified public accountant with five to eight years of experience, IPO experience, security and exchange reporting, global accounting standards, cross border work, and for you to be fluent in Mandarin. All for the grand total of 35 to 60 grand a year. You could earn more working as a bathroom attendant at BUC EE's, and you don't have to know Mandarin to do that. Here's what's really going on underneath this They've stacked every skill that they can think of into one role. Then they slapped on a salary that fits none of it. When your expectations don't match your compensation, you get desperation and high turnover. If you want world class skill sets, you need a focused role. A clear win and pay that respects the value. Otherwise you're just hoping to find a CPA who doesn't do math or probably has a rap sheet. Okay, here's a software engineering posting. We trimmed down a lot. Honestly, I don't even know what all these words and letters mean. Full stack Software Engineer. Focus on back end, Ruby on Rails and front end React development. Responsible for deploying and managing infrastructure using Terraform and ensuring optimal performance and scalability. On AWS incorporating serverless architecture, microservices and BFF patterns. Own production, operations and monitoring of the system and be aware of all SLAs challenge team processes looking for ways to improve them. Create impact on the team as a whole versus just specific parts. This role has more hats than the Kentucky Derby. They want someone who can code the back end, build the front end, architect microservices run DevOps own production operations monitor SLAs, which I've been told means stuff leaders avoid. Just kidding. It's service level agreements, which is fancy talk for when things break. It's all your fault. They want them to improve the processes, mentor the team, and probably fix the office printer. This isn't a software engineer. This is an entire IT team shoved into one person. And there's this line that's supposedly meant to inspire you in a world marked by constant change and uncertainty. This role places you at the heart of this exciting evolution in consumer engagement. No, this role places me at the heart of my phone blowing up at 3am because the system crashed again. Also, anytime a job posting leads with in a world, I expect Morgan Freeman to start narrating.
- [06:31]
A
I hope people stop asking me to do stupid voiceovers like this.
- [06:35]
B
Here's the leadership takeaway. They haven't decided what this job actually is. If your list of responsibilities reads like someone googled everything a modern tech team does and pasted it into one posting, you don't know what winning looks like. You will attract people who are either overconfident or under qualified because the people who are qualified will be wise enough to run in the other direction. You have to define the role clearly and be reasonable about what one human can actually accomplish. You gotta ask what are the top three to five outcomes this person has to deliver? When you hire one person to do 12 things, you end up with 12 things done halfway, if at all. Okay, let's move into the this sounds almost normal until you've read it twice category. You ready? Virtual assistant needed for meme creation for gambling website the ideal candidate should have a passion for meme culture, ability to schedule on Instagram, Twitter and TikTok. Finally, a job where sending memes in a group chat sounds like professional development, but notice they call it a virtual assistant. Then describe a role that's a content strategist, a graphic designer, a social media manager, a brand voice owner, and apparently part time odds analyst for the gambling crowd. This is not an assistant, this is your marketing department. And here's a different posting with the same energy on screen Social media talent Remote must live in Tennessee or Florida near the headquarters. Experience betting on sports required comfortable filming content in social environments. So let me get this right. It's remote, but only if you live in two specific states and you must be okay filming TikToks in public like a one person sports network. This is where the job description and the actual job don't line up. You say remote, but it's really hybrid. You say assistant, but it's really producer, talent and strategist. Remember, your job description is a sales page for the right person. Tell the truth about where they will work and what their week will feel like. Don't hide lifestyle and location in a fine print. If the reality is different than the posting, your best hires are going to leave fast and the people who are actually qualified will recognize the bait and switch and they'll just keep scrolling. We'll get right back to the episode, but first, do you remember when you only worked 40 hours a week? Now that you're in leadership, you do that by Wednesday afternoon. Look, you want to be a part of something meaningful. You want to make an impact and still have a life. But as your company grows, your calendar fills up, meetings stack on top of each other and you're doing more work that doesn't require your expertise. You don't have time to lead anymore. That's where Belay comes in. Belay matches you with qualified US based executive assistants, marketing assistants and accounting professionals. Real people who can help you protect your time so you can delegate what doesn't require your leadership and focus on the work only you can do. Because growth doesn't come from doing more, it comes from doing what matters most. If you're ready to build a business that runs without running you into the ground, download Belay's free resource the 40 hour CEO work week planning guide by texting entree to 55123 that's entre 255123. Now let's get back to the episode. This next one we see a lot. Let's talk about those entry level jobs that are not entry level. 0 to 2 years professional experience Support partners, Managing directors, Senior Vice presidents and vice Presidents Draft earning releases and conference call scripts. Coordinate investor conferences, non deal roadshows and analyst days. Zero tolerance approach to airs High urgency work environment it's crazy to call this an entry level role. It sounds like somebody's being potty trained at gunpoint. Can you imagine? You're fresh out of college and they want you to support the entire C suite. Run investor events, draft earnings releases and handle analyst calls. And by the way, there's zero tolerance for errors. Welcome to the team. Here's the stock price. Don't screw it up. That's terrible and unfortunately not that rare. So leaders, here's the fix. Make a short list of must haves. The things your new hire truly needs on day one. Now make a second list of trainable skills. The things you'll coach and and develop along the way. You're not just hiring a person, you're designing a Runway. And if your must haves can't fit On a sticky note, it's not an entry level job. This last one looks totally normal. On the surface, it's for a media specialist at a communications agency. But here's the culture section we excel tenacious and accountable. We empower. Collaborative and supportive. We explore. Curious and brave. We energize. Driven and proactive. I appreciate the poetry, but this sounds a lot like an inspirational poster from a high school classroom. It doesn't tell me how fast they move, how decisions get made, or how success is measured. So then you scroll down and you see the reality. Supports 4 to 6 client project teams 0 to 2 years relevant experience consistently achieves billability goal of 90% there it is. That's the actual culture. It's brave, curious and energizing. And you're also expected to be billable 90% of the time and eating your lunch at 3pm in your car if you're lucky. Here's the Culture is not your adjectives. Culture is your habits. When you write a job description, describe the pace, the expectations, and what winning looks like week to week. Don't hide behind buzzwords. Explain specific tasks like you'll manage four accounts. You'll send a weekly report by Friday at noon without reminders. You'll collaborate daily with sales and creative Thoroughbreds don't need hype, they need clarity. Okay, we've had a lot of fun at the expense of these job descriptions, but here are some super tactical points to remember as you write your own Start with the mission. Why does this role exist? How does it move the ball down the field? Define the win. Boil your job descriptions to 3 to 5 measurable outcomes. If you can't, don't hire yet. Separate must haves from nice to haves. Must haves fit on a sticky note. Everything else is trainable. Be honest about pace and location. If it's hybrid, say hybrid. If it's a metaverse gladiator arena, maybe rethink that entirely. Hire for character first, competence second. Don't get me wrong, you need competence to do the job, but skills can be trained. Character can't remember this Entree Leadership Principle Hire hard, lead easy. Hire easy, lead hard. Put the work in up front or you'll spend all your time babysitting instead of building momentum. And here's what not to do. Don't cram 12 jobs into one listing and hope a unicorn applies. Don't slap entry level on a role that requires five years experience just because your budget is tight or your team is drowning and you're hoping miracles walk in. Don't hide chaos behind buzzwords like fast paced rockstar or Wear many hats. Don't write like a movie trailer when you're hiring for a real job. Okay, listen, if you messed this up before, that doesn't mean you're a bad leader. It just means you're ready to grow. I can't even count how many times I've tried to execute on job roles that only made sense in my head. The good news is you can fix this before your next hire. Write the kind of job description that a thoroughbred reads and says, yes, that's my race. That's what I want to be a part of. And hey, if you come across some even crazier job descriptions, we'd love if you'd drop them in the comments. We could all use a laugh and a reminder of what not to do.
- [14:40]
A
Leaders, this isn't just paperwork. Your job descriptions are the first front door to your culture and fulfilling your mission. This stuff matters. You've got to take the time to get it right. And hey, if you need dramatic music and a movie trailer voice to sell the role, you probably missed the point. Want help building a system that attracts and keeps thoroughbreds? Go check out our interview with Ramsey's Executive Director of hr, Armando Lopez. Click the link in the show notes and if you enjoyed today's episode, be sure and like, share and subscribe for more great leadership content. I'm your host Dave Ramsey, and this is Entree Leadership.