
After Jeffrey Epstein’s death in 2019, Alan Dershowitz rapidly became one of the most visible public defenders of the broader Epstein narrative on television, podcasts, radio shows, and opinion programs. Rather than quietly distancing himself from a...
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So let's jump into the article from Fox News and see what they have to say about the Alan Dershowitz interview on Tucker Carlson last night. Fox News.com headline, Alan Dirty Dershowitz Defends Himself against Sex Abuse Allegations, Condemns Accuser
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as a Serial Liar.
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You know, it's always funny when these people call someone else a liar. I mean, really dirty Dursh. You are going to assault somebody's credibility. You are going to call somebody a liar. Did you do it from the naked volleyball game at Martha's Vineyard?
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Oh, wait, that's right.
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You're not allowed up there anymore. Nobody wants to hang out with you, even in Martha's Vineyard. I'm sure Christian Everdell still will still want to hang out with you, though. I mean, I know how all of you Harvard guys are. You're so chummy and all. The author of this article is Victor Garcia, famed attorney and Harvard Law School professor. Allen I kept my underpants on. Dirty Dershowitz denied allegations of sexual abuse on Tucker Carlson Tonight on Friday after his name appeared in newly released documents from a 2015 civil lawsuit against Jeffrey Epstein, associate co conspirator, fellow, fellow child abuser all around scumbag Ghislaine Maxwell. Of course, look, he's gonna come out and he's going to come out swinging and he's going to use all of these platforms that will let him come onto their shows to try and steer the narrative. But what he doesn't realize is nobody's paying attention to him anymore. His narrative means BS to all of us. It means nothing. I brought this case to the FBI. I, I went to the U.S. attorney's office, I went to the district attorney, I wrote an op ed piece for the Wall Street Journal saying FBI, please investigate me dirty. Dershowitz told host Tucker Carlson. And you know what? I really hope the FBI is taking that to heart. I hope they do a true investigation of this man. Bring him in, put him under oath, question him just like he was anybody else. This dirty ass crypt keeper looking MF has no real right to run around and defame anybody else. Have a little bit of class, you disgusting old coot. I have been asking for an investigation from day one. He added.
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And notice all the eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes, eyes.
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The narcissism is just over the moon with this man. The hubris is over the moon with this man. And the absolute non stop whinging is out of. I wanted all this material unsealed. It's Virginia Roberts, my accuser, who tried to get everything redacted, everything sealed. She deep sixed tapes and she deep sixed emails. She deep sixed a manuscript. All of which proved she never met me in her own words. Oh yeah, I am sure that Virginia
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Roberts got rid of a whole bunch
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of evidence there, Allen. I kept my underpants on, Dershowitz.
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I mean really, that's.
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I'm sure that's exactly what occurred.
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If anything, your best buddy Uncle Jeffy got rid of evidence, my friend. Why hasn't the Zorro ranch been raided? Why were you involved in the non prosecution agreement? Why are you just a general all around lying scumbag? Roberts has accused Dershowitz of having sex with her while she was underage, which would constitute rape of a child, as well as witnessing Epstein and others sexually abuse girls and women. It's easy for him to run around and act like he never saw Epstein do anything, right? Oh, I never saw Epstein do anything. Untowards. I never saw him around any young girls. Well, I think in my opinion that that's bullshit. How could you be around Epstein? Be at his houses, see all of that artwork, all of those pictures on the walls, the naked young girls, the dildos in the bathrooms, etc, etc, and not know you are in the house of an absolute and utter wackadoo.
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He knew.
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In my opinion, he most certainly knew. He knew exactly what Epstein was. He accepted it and he welcomed it, people, because he is a fellow traveler. Let's remember he's admitted to getting a quote unquote massage at Epstein's already. I thought you just had a business relationship. So I guess the Next time I head over to one of my. My colleagues jobs, one of their offices or their apartments or houses that I should expect to get a massage, right? Just because, you know, that's how business relationships work. You lying, dirty, disgusting, old decrepit crypt. Keeping looking, Mother Effer. I am. I am telling me the truth and I have the evidence to prove it. Dirty Dershowitz insisted Friday. Let's see the evidence then. You keep talking a big game about all this evidence you have and nobody has seen ungots. We haven't seen any. Any of your evidence. We've heard your words, but words are wind, my friend. And she has not a scintilla of evidence beyond her own word, which is worthless because she has such a long history of lying.
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All right, full stop.
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Hit the brakes. How are you going to call anybody else a liar, you smarmy ass old bastard. You are the biggest, most disgusting piece of trash may be left in this story. You rival Epstein and Maxwell with your disgustingness, in my opinion, you bipedal serpent, you disgustoid. She was a serial liar who does it for money. And, and she's continuing to do it. And the media has been taken in by her. But the time has come to investigate me and her. I call to the FBI to do that. A news flash. Dirty Dershowitz, you dumb bastard. The FBI has been investigating, okay? And your name has most certainly come up. And for you to say the media has been taken in by her. Nobody listened to her for years.
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Four years.
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And it's a direct result of your campaigning, of your going onto these new shows and defaming her and trashing her. And it's no wonder you got sued by her for defamation. You're an unconscionable, disgusting excuse for a human being, Alan. I kept my underpants on Dershowitz. The documents released late Thursday show that Maxwell and Epstein's one time. Excuse me. The documents released late Thursday show that Maxwell Epstein's one time girlfriend, co conspirator, fellow child abuser, all around scumbag, was in touch with the convicted sex offender as recently as 2015, despite claiming during a recent bail hearing that she hadn't been in contact with him for more than a decade after in open court, she said this. Okay, These are the, these are the serpents we're dealing with. If you think that Dirty Dursh is any different from the rest of these fools, you are naive. Dirty Dershowitz is now and always has been a scuzzball, in my opinion. And with the. The Epstein emails with Ghislaine Maxwell that were in open court. Okay.
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They lied.
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Oh.
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Our client hasn't had contact with Jeffrey Epstein in decade. What?
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Here.
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What about this email? And that's the thing. That's how you see and how you can tell that they're starting to unravel at the seams, folks.
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These people who used to have all
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of their on point everything laser focused and everything locked and loaded. Well, not anymore. The shoe is on the other foot.
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The.
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They're playing the defense. And you see it with people like Dershowitz going on a scorched earth run, trying to destroy Virginia's credibility, trying to get out ahead of what he knows is inevitably coming down the pipe. She. Roberts explicitly said she saw me once talking to Epstein and did not have sex with me. Dershowitz told Carlson her own lawyers admit that she made up stories about prominent people. You know, he keeps saying this. Let's see that proof. You know, you can say whatever you want and it sounds damning, right? Let's see the receipts. Virginia's not the only one that says that you were on those planes or that you were down there.
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Dirty Dursh.
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So quit acting like you have nothing to hide here. It is obvious to anyone who is paying attention that you played a gigantic role in Jeffrey Epstein's life, personally and privately. Her own lawyer, David Boyes, is on tape saying she's wrong, simply wrong to accuse me, that it was impossible, that I couldn't have been in places she said she saw me. So the evidence that she's lying about me is overwhelming. Okay, show us the receipts. Let us hear it in context. We don't want to hear your words.
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Dirty Dershowitz.
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We all know that you. Every time you open your mouth, a lie comes tumbling out. It seems like so nobody believes you. You have no credibility. I mean, you might have credibility in your echo chambers, your right wing echo chambers, where you're being lauded as some sort of hero because you defended Donald Trump. But besides that, everybody else in the world thinks you're a dirty, disgusting scumbag. You're being scorned and you're being ostracized. Your own people at Martha's Vineyard, the Alaskan Bar association doesn't want you. The only place that you find refuge now is on disgusting rags like Newsmax. Enjoy your life, Alan. It is just getting started. My underpants wearing friend Carlson then pressed Dershowitz on his relationship with Epstein, at one point asking, how did you not know of allegations that the then financier
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pedophile said sexually Abused girls.
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This was. This was a doozy here, folks. And to me, this is an obvious lie. Of course, I didn't know. Dershowitz answered. I was at his home mostly when
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I was his lawyer.
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I was not a close personal friend.
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He lived his private life very privately.
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As soon as I found out that he was accused, my relationship with him totally changed. What? You were his lawyer, bro? He went on to say that the charges that Epstein was charged with in Florida, the solicitation charge, blah, blah, blah, they were the only ones that they knew about. As if he didn't have access to all of the reports from the Palm Beach Police Department, From Ryder and etc. Etc. It is a ball. Just an absolute lie, A straight up lie when he says this. Dershowitz also defended his legal work on Epstein's behalf, including his role in securing a 2008 plea agreement with federal prosecutors that allowed Epstein to admit to state prostitution charges in Florida and serve just 13 months in a county jail with work release privileges. And again, it's not his work as a lawyer that I have a problem with. You can be as a lawyer. It is your job to defend the biggest scumbags on earth.
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Right, I get it.
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I ain't mad about it. I. Look, when. When I say equal justice under the law, I mean that for everybody, even scumbags like Dershowitz. Everybody should have the same treatment, okay? But this is a whole different story. Dershowitz and his friends, his all star law team, finesse things behind the scenes, and they push this plea agreement. That is an unheard of kind of plea agreement, by the way, and not only that, had himself named in it. Then he goes on to say on Tucker last night, oh, well, I will unilaterally get rid of any sort of immunity that I might have had from that deal. And Tucker called him out on that as well, and saying that he doesn't think that that's something that Dershowitz can just wave. And I'll tell you what, man, Tucker Carlson did a pretty good job last night. We had a very, very strong federal defense. Dershowitz recalled. It doesn't matter how many young women he may have had sex with in Palm Beach. Oh, no, it doesn't, huh? Many young women, they were underage. You sick bastard. I know that your disgusting ass wants to lower the. The age of consent, but guess what? That is not reality.
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That is not the law.
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This is not the 8th century. And you are not going to be able to molest children and abuse little girls at your. At your Will's content. Okay, it's not going to happen, Dershowitz, no matter how much you opine for it, no matter how much you push for, okay, young women, these were little girls, high school age girls, and some 14, 15, 16 years old young women. It doesn't matter that he had sex with how many young women?
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Are you serious right now?
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That's your defense? That's what you came up with? Tell you what, dirty Dershowitz, you better stick to your friendly echo chambers because if this is any indication of what's coming down the pipe for you, you're in big trouble. When you sit down with a journalist who really wants to get to the end of the, to the bot bottom of this. In fact, I'd love for you to come on this podcast and explain yourself. The government had to prove that he transported them in interstate commerce and they couldn't do that.
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They had a very weak federal case
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and a very strong state case. The job of the criminal defense lawyers to get the best deal he can do for his client.
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I did that.
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I'm proud of it and I will continue to do that. I've done it for 55 years. That's my job. Well, I guess if, I mean, when you're in prison, they always need a jailhouse lawyer, right? So I guess you'll be pretty pro, pretty popular when you join the rest of these scuzz bags in Federal Prison. Mr. I kept my underpants on. Dirty Dershowitz. The absurdity of this man is maddening. The absolute disregard for everything but his own narrative is mind boggling. And the fact that he thinks any right thinking individual is going to be swayed by his pedantic and ridiculous arguments is laughable at best. Guess what, dirty Dershowitz, your time is coming, my friend. The days of you honoring yourself are almost at an end. You and the rest of your friends have gone way too long without answering for what has occurred. And like I said several times, and I'll say it again, you are not above the law. Not you, not Bill Clinton, not Donald Trump, not anybody. And when this investigation turns and you have to sit under, sit down under oath and give a statement, let's see just how arrogant you are. Let's see how that hubris serves you. And let's see how much you Enjoy the year 2020. Because, my friend, this is the year the predator turns into the prey. If you'd like to contact me, you can do that@bobby capuchirotonmail.com that's B O B B Y C A P U C c I@protonmail.com youm can also find me on Twitter at bo-capucci all right,
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so let's jump into this article from above the law and try and suss out just exactly what the hell Mr. Naked volleyball in Martha's Vineyard is up to now. Alan Dershowitz is absolutely, positively not an intellectual who had lost his mind. This piece is authored by Elizabeth Dye. Alan Dershowitz is suing CNN for $300 million because the network defamatorily failed to quote a full paragraph of his Argo bargaining about Donald Trump's impeachment, giving viewers the entirely false impression that the famed lawyer has lost his mind. Yes, for real. So, I mean, I don't even understand how this could even see. It's any time in court, right? Or in front of a judge or anything.
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This should just be thrown out right away.
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This is why the legal system is such a joke in this country. You're really going to sue cnn of all places? That's like saying you were defamed by Alex Jones. At this point, who cares? But yet, Allen, I kept my underpants on Dershowitz. Well, he has to challenge it. And he has to sue CNN because he doesn't have enough problems. As were you under the impression that Durst might have ruined his own reputation by going on Laura Ingraham's show to shout about his perfect, perfect sex life in a bizarre attempt to slag his arch nemesis David Boies, after accusing Boyes Schiller of being a rico. And you know, it's funny that he tried to claim that Boyes and Schiller were running a RICO operation at their law firm considering the people he's associated with and the RICO case that never was because of his doings behind the scenes. Pretty ironic that he'd bring up rico, huh? He seems to bring up a lot of things in this case, the Jeffrey Epstein case, that automatically boomerang back to him and his cohorts. Projection much, Mr. Underpants? Or maybe your esteem started flagging at the quixotic attempt to quiet doubters by proving that he never, not ever, had sex with underage girls when he was hanging out with Jeffrey Epstein. An effort Dursch has bolstered by protracted litigation and public efforts to zaprooter the flight logs to show that he only went to Epstein Sex island in the company of his wife. Most people might deny it and then shut the hell up. Oh, but not Professor Dershowitz. And it's true. He's petty parrots about it all the time sends off tweets that aren't even needed. Nobody asked him, nobody wanted his opinion on anything. But here he is, sitting around in his tighty whities, waiting for the next naked volleyball game to crack off, sending out tweets in an unhinged manner, and he's worried about CNN's portrayal of him. My dude, you're doing a fantastic job on your own. Of all of us looking at you and thinking the same, the doc, brown hair, the unhinged attitude. What do you think we're going to say, sir? Perhaps if the retired Harvard professor hadn't sued Epstein's alleged survivor while simultaneously thrusting himself into the middle of the impeachment hearings, reporters wouldn't have bothered to dig up his insistence on playing pornography in the common areas at Harvard for the First Amendment, obviously, and his 1970s musings on lowering the age of consent. Well, you know, it's, it's true. I mean, why would anyone pay attention to Alan Dershowitz unless he's inserting himself into these issues? And once you insert yourself into the issue, especially when the allegations that you have hanging over your head are so disgusting and so gross, well, what do you think's going to happen, Mr. Underpants on? Of course people are going to look into what you have to say.
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People are going to look into your past works.
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People are going to try and put the pieces together. That's why somebody like Alan Dershowitz, who's been a public figure for decades upon decades at this point, to come out and try and sandbag CNN because of their so called portrayal of is laughable at best. And if any judge in the country
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deems it worthwhile to see this case
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and hear it, that judge is also a joke. I'm pretty sure we have more pressing needs in the justice system than Mr. Deuxewitz's nonsense. Might Americans have decided the famed constitutional scholar had lost a step when he took the airways. When he took to the airways to assure Americans that he only got one massage at Jeffrey Epstein's house from an old Russian woman and he kept his underwear on the whole time. Or when he threatened to sue CBS because a fictional character made a joke about it. And this is the ongoing underpants talk. Right. That's why I call him I kept my underpants on Dershowitz. This dude is an absolute character. So you kept your underpants on and it was an old Russian woman. Do we know if this old Russian woman was trafficked? Has this old Russian woman ever come forward to be talked to? The lady who gave him the massage, has anybody reached out to her, tried to find out who she is? I'm sure if you press Ghislaine Maxwell hard enough, she knows. So why don't we get to the bottom of it? Let's get to the bottom of it, Mr. Dershowitz. Who is this old Russian woman? Why are you getting a massage at your homeboy's house? And why are you keeping your underpants on and telling us about it? As if that is some kind of be all end all proving that you did nothing wrong. Well, I kept my jaws on. What if you're into other weird shit, bro? It's laughable that this dude really thinks that people are going to look at his behavior and not question what nonsense he is up to. No. Obviously the damage occurred in January of 2020 when CNN failed to quote the entirety of Alan Dershowitz's speech on the House floor saying that it was fine for the President to wield the apparatus of the American government to aid his own electoral prospects. See, Dursh said the only thing that would make a quid pro quo unlawful
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is if the quo were somehow illegal.
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Now we talk about motive. There are three possible motives that a political figure could have. One, a motive in the public interest and the Israel argument would be in the public interest. The second is in his own political interest. And the third, which hasn't been mentioned, would be his own financial interest. His own pure financial interest. Just putting money in the bank. I want to focus on the second one for just one moment. Every public official that I know believes that his election is in the public interest. And mostly you are right. Your election, your election is in the public interest. And if a president does something which he believes will help him get elected in the public interest, that cannot be the kind of quid pro quo that results results in impeachment. I mean, all over that comment is why he's suing because he says it was taken out of context. And I get it. Right. I understand if you're taken out of context or whatever, you wanna set the record straight. And Dershowitz has plenty of avenues to do that. But for him to wanna sue CNN over this, it's just, it's mind boggling to me that he would continue to insert himself in the middle of the Spotlight and then CR getting blasted and eviscerated. And while he admits that CNN's Wolf Blisser played the whole clip, other CNN commentators just talked about the last couple of sentences, leaving viewers with the possibly mistaken impression that Professor Dershowitz was endorsing a theory that presidents could commit crimes with impunity if they believe the result to be in the public interest. Leave aside that the Government Accountability Office found that withholding congressionally allocated funds from Ukraine or was in fact illegal. Well, that's neither here nor there. We could debate about the merits of Ukraine until we're blue in the face. I'm sure everybody has some strong opinions about that. The very notion of that was preposterous and foolish on its face. And that was the point. To falsely paint Professor Dershowitz as a constitutional scholar and intellectual who had lost his mind with that branding.
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Professor.
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Professor Dershowitz sound and notorious arguments would then be drowned under a sea of repeated lies. Who cares? His arguments aren't for the public to judge anyway. His arguments weren't for CNN to judge anyway. It was for the senators who were
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hearing the case, for hearing.
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Who were hearing the impeachment. So all of this is such bullshit. And they did it on purpose to punish him for supporting President Trump. However, Professor Dershowitz appears to have made one mistake. He chose to defend the President of the United States and defend the U.S. constitution at a moment in time where CNN has decided that doing so is not permitted. For this, CNN set out to punish him and destroy his credibility and reputation and unfortunately succeeded. That sounds so sinister, as if CNN has that power at this point. I know people that are even ardent hardcore leftists who laugh at CNN at this point. They understand the corporate media is all a joke. Cnn, Fox, all the same shit.
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Everybody knows it.
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So for this guy to act like CNN has ruined his credibility after he made a fool of himself on his
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own, I mean, come on.
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There's a lot CNN can be blamed for. But ruining Alan Dershowitz's career. Not on the list. Characterizing the refusal to air the whole quote as part of a deliberate scheme to defraud its own audience at the expense of another's reputation. The First Amendment warrior accuses the network of intentionally misleading its viewers and hiding the truth from their eyes and ears. That's such bullshit. I can't believe I'm forced to defend cnn, but here we are. This is such absolute bullshit. They weren't misleading anybody.
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All right?
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CNN is an opinion based station. Everybody knows that. It's not a hard news. All of those shows are opinion based. So leading their viewers. They don't have to lead their viewers anywhere, folks. Their viewers seek that out. Their viewers want that confirmation bias, just like the viewers of Fox want their bias confirmed. Touting himself as one of the most revered and celebrated legal minds of the past century. Oh, and so modest. Dershowitz points to a news cycle where people quit mocking Dershowitz for yammering about his panties for a couple of hours and instead mocked him for his defense of the president's conduct and for his pains. His great legal mind demands 50 million in compensatory damages and 250 million in punitive damages. I mean, really, this is such a joke right now. Meanwhile, the survivors of Jeffrey Epstein's criminal enterprise that you helped facilitate with your legal advice that you helped get off the hook with your legal advice that you allegedly took part in, still can't get one damn dime from your buddy Zindikan Khan. I hope you feel good about yourself with your 250 million dollar punitive damage. Ask. And your 50 million dollars in compensatory damage Ask. I hope you feel real good, Mr. Dershowitz.
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You scoundrel.
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Hey, quit laughing. It's not an ignominious end to a glorious legal career. Dersh is on top of his game, ready to take on the world. Primed to hit the nude beaches for an impromptu lecture on presidential prerogatives. Look out Martha's Vineyard, here he comes. And I like the scorching tone of this article very much, Elizabeth.
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Die.
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I can get down with a bit of that kind of evisceration of a scoundrel like Alan Dershowitz, and he deserves it. This guy continuously inserts himself into the public eye, into the public sphere, and when somebody questions him or goes after him, he says he's gonna sue. Well, nobody cares, Mr. Dershowitz. Alright, I think your tighty whities might be on a bit too tight. I think you might be a little agitated because you're no longer welcome at the naked volleyball game. And it is rather obvious to anybody paying attention that you are not, sir, on the top of your game. If you'd like to contact me, you can do that@bobby capuchirotonmail.com that's B O B B Y C A P U C c I@protonmail.com youm can also find me on Twitter at B o b ycapucci. All of the links that go with this episode can be found in the description box.
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What's up, everyone? And welcome back to the Epstein chronicles. So Alan Dershowitz was recently on a program over at the Hill and he was promoting his new book, the price of principle. Well, while he was over here promoting this book, why the Hill would even have him on to promote it beyond me. But anyway, they have him on here to talk about this new book, and the hosts of the show decide to steer the conversation towards his meaning. Dershowitz's relationship with Epstein. And things went off the rails. As usual, Dershowitz comes off as unhinged. Anytime he's asked about Jeffrey Epstein, dude explodes like a volcano. Pretty simple. I mean, why were you over at his house getting a massage? I know you'll explain it away. Oh, my wife had it set up. This, that, the other thing, but it just doesn't look good. The optics are terrible. And then you add on what Virginia had to say about Dershowitz, and for me, that's the real problem, right? Not that he defended Jeffrey Epstein. As a lawyer, you know, you're going to defend shitbag clients, that's just what you do. But palling around with them, taking part in their trafficking, according to the survivor, Virginia, and being, you know, this guy's friend, coming over for a massage, of course some questions are going to be asked. And of course Dershowitz, in usual fashion, comes up with some sort of ludicrous excuse, at least in my opinion. Oh, my wife sets up the massage. My wife was there. How many of these people use their family members as an excuse? We saw Prince Andrew do the same thing with his daughters. What sort of man drags their family into this sort of bs? I'll tell you what kind of man, a man that's not really a man. Because the idea is to protect your family, right? Shield them from harm, make sure they're not caught up in your bullshit. If you get caught up in it. But it's never the case for these so called elite. They drag everybody into their. And then when they get caught with their hand in the proverbial cookie jar, they tell you it was somebody else's hand and that it was never in the cookie jar to begin with. So we have a relatively short one today, so let's dive right into it. This article is from Salon. Headline, alan Dershowitz grilled on Massages at Jeffrey Epstein's house. This article was authored by Alex Henderson. In late August, law professor Alan Dershowitz appeared on hill TVs rising to promote his new book. Again, what's up with all of these dudes having this guy on their show to promote the book? When I was on the Tucker Carlson show, right after Tucker Carlson, Sean Hannity's on, I guess, and literally 15 minutes after I was on it, Tucker, they have Dershowitz on the. The Hannity show bit. Ridiculous. If you ask me, I would have loved to have 15 minutes with Mr. Dershowitz, sit down and have a nice little chat with him. Boy, let me tell you, if he thinks that Ryan Grim, Emily Jashinsky and Robbie so were rough on him, boy, wait till you get a load of me, because I would unload Double barrel on this dude. There'd be no massaging around the issues. Straight up questions. All right, bro? So did you or didn't you? Do you have proof? Can I see some receipts? Oh, you don't have the proof. So you're saying that I should trust you? That's not gonna work out. It's all about proof, right? Evidence. Let's see some receipts here. But Dershowitz grew angry and defensive when Hill TV interviewer interviewers Ryan Grimm, Emily Jashinsky and Robbie Sove asked him about his connection to Jeffrey Epstein, the wealthy financier. You mean pedophile, right? Salon. Who was facing federal sex trafficking charges involving minors when he was found dead in his cell on August 10, 2019. You would think that a left leaning outlet like the salon would at least call Jeffrey Epstein what he is, right? A pedophile. But I guess not. I guess we'll leave that to the tabloids to call him what he really is, right? Hill TV noted that December 2000 travel records found on Epstein's plane mentioned the massage that was scheduled for AD Alan Dershowitz. But Dershowitz told Hill TV that was my wife's calendar. My wife scheduled a massage. So according to Alan Dershowitz, his wife is the one who scheduled the massage over at Epstein's. And I guess his wife was over there the whole time hanging out, and everything was just fine and dandy again. Why are you scheduling a massage at some dude's house? You have all the money in the world, all of the greatest massage therapists, all the greatest people who work in that business at your fingertips. A phone call away. You're Alan Dershowitz. You can't call somebody like Robert Kraft and ask him who the best masseuse in the business is. Stop lying to people. And there is no good reason for anyone to go over to Jeffrey F. And Epstein's house to get a massage. I'm sorry, there's nobody on this planet. Okay, let me be very clear about this. That will ever convince me that you need to go over to someone's house to get a massage. It's straight up weird. I've never had a friend call me and say, hey, little Rob, why don't you come over Bro, I have some people over. We're gonna get some massages. What? What do you mean we're gonna. What does that mean? I think I'll pass on your little massage party, bro. If I'm going to get a massage, I'm going to a real place to get a massage from a massage therapist. You know, a little cucumber water, the whole nine. I'm not going to Jeffrey Epstein's house to get a massage. And I highly doubt Alan Dershowitz is either. Sounding increasingly angry, Dershowitz continued. If you think my wife scheduled a massage with an underage sex slave, then you'll believe anything. Oh, so you're admitting that they were underage sex slaves, huh? Well, that's. That's a first. Good on you, Alan Dershowitz, to finally show that you actually believe that they were sex slaves. And the fact that you were over at his house while there were sex slaves there. Can you answer for that? Pretty sure most of us out there can say we've never been to a house where people are being human trafficked out of. Pretty safe assumption that most of us have never been around that. Okay, but Alan Dershowitz, you know, he'll tell you that his wife hooked up a massage for him over at Epstein, so it's all good. When an interviewer started to calmly speak, Dershowitz angrily told him, let me finish.
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Let me finish.
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Let me finish. Let me finish. I was a visiting scholar at nyu. My wife had a professional masseuse. We have checks, canceled checks, proving that the massage occurred, when it occurred, who it occurred with, at Jeffrey Epstein's house. What did this guy have, some sort of massage parlor that nobody knew about? We all know what massage was synonymous with over at Epstein's, So forgive us, Mr. Dershowitz, if we have a hard time believing what you're selling here. Nobody's trying to buy this B.S. and for me, can we just get an actual deposition here? Let's get this guy under oath. Let's see what Dershowitz has to say. Under oath. That's all I've ever called for in this case. All of these people under oath, let's get them on the record. And whoever lies, well, we'll deal with that with perjury. Right, but let's get them all deposed. Can't even do that. You would think that all of these people who were allegedly involved in a criminal enterprise would have all been deposed, but nope, they haven't been. And I've had very, very few massages in my life. One at Jeffrey Epstein's house by a middle aged woman who gave me a shoulder and neck massage, which I hated. I called up my wife and complained about it immediately. I mean, for real, my wife, my wife, my wife, my wife. Is that the only person that is your alibi that can, you know, credit your alibi, that can tell us good things about you? Is your wife pretty pathetic? And then it makes me question, what sort of relationship do you have with your wife? Always using her as your, you know. Oh, well, just ask my wife. She was there. She set up the massage again. Can you please answer? None of these people ever ask this question. Okay, Mr. Dershowitz, that's cool. You got a massage set up at Epstein's. Why didn't you get a massage set up at a real masseuse's shop? Dershowitz continued, no, I've done nothing wrong. If you want to put me on trial here, you have to give me an opportunity to fully explain. You will not be able to make just charges against me. And this is what he does, right? He tries to steamroll over people. Anyone who brings it up, he tries to steamroll right over them. But the fact is, you still really have an answer for your part here. And it's not everybody else's fault that they have questions. It's your fault. You were around this dude. And I don't even just mean as his lawyer. And then you look at the actual work done as the lawyer, the way they treated those survivors down in Florida. Come on, Mr. Dershowitz, you really think anyone outside of your small little circle likes you? MSNBC's Mehdi Hassan posted a video of the interview on Twitter, quoted the let me finish, let me finish part. And of course, look, a guy like Dershowitz is going to deny, deny, deny, deny, and he's going to say he had no idea what was going on, no clue what Jeffrey Epstein was. But I have my doubts about all of it. And the fact that you're going over to a guy like Jeffrey Epstein's house to get a massage in the first place is very, very weird to me. And explaining it away that my wife was there. I paid for this. I paid for that. That doesn't do it for me. We're gonna need a full on explanation. So you say you got the receipts. Fine, let's. Let's talk to the lady who massaged you. See, none of that happens though, right? Everything seems to just stall out and remain in neutral. Well, it'd be nice if one of these days the SDNY and all of their little buddies would actually do their jobs and chase down people like this and get them under oath. But until then, I guess we'll have to rely on the media hosts who talk to this guy to call him out and ask him questions. All right, folks, that's going to do it for this episode. If you'd like to contact me, you can do that at Bobby Capuchi protonmail.com that's B O B B Y C A P U C c I@protonmail.com you can also find me on Twitter at b o B-B-Y underscore Cap Ucci. The link that I discussed can be found in the description box.
Podcast Summary: The Epstein Chronicles
Episode Title: Mega Edition: Alan Dershowitz Hits The Circuit To Talk About Jeffrey Epstein (5/11/26)
Host: Bobby Capucci
Date: May 11, 2026
In this episode, Bobby Capucci delivers a scathing, in-depth commentary on Alan Dershowitz’s recent media appearances, particularly focusing on his attempts to defend himself against allegations of sexual abuse related to the Jeffrey Epstein case. Bobby analyzes Dershowitz’s media tactics, legal maneuvers, and public persona, drawing from recent articles, televised interviews, and press coverage. The episode maintains Bobby’s signature irreverent, blunt, and impassioned tone as he dissects the implications of Dershowitz’s statements and the broader culture of elite impunity surrounding the Epstein case.
| Timestamp | Quote / Moment | Speaker |
|:---|:---|:---|
| 03:03 | "But what he doesn’t realize is nobody’s paying attention to him anymore. His narrative means BS to all of us." | Bobby Capucci |
| 05:27 | "Next time I head over to one of my colleagues’ jobs...I should expect to get a massage, right?" | Bobby Capucci |
| 07:47 | "Nobody listened to her for years. And it’s a direct result of your campaigning [and] going onto these new shows and defaming her." | Bobby Capucci |
| 14:58 | "Tell you what, dirty Dershowitz, you better stick to your friendly echo chambers because if this is any indication of what’s coming down the pipe for you, you’re in big trouble." | Bobby Capucci |
| 18:53 | "This should just be thrown out right away...You're really going to sue CNN of all places? That's like saying you were defamed by Alex Jones." | Bobby Capucci |
| 38:34 | "If you think my wife scheduled a massage with an underage sex slave, then you'll believe anything. Oh, so you're admitting that they were underage sex slaves, huh? Well, that's a first." | Bobby Capucci |
| 16:41 | "You are not above the law. Not you, not Bill Clinton, not Donald Trump, not anybody." | Bobby Capucci |
Bobby Capucci’s tone is unfiltered, aggressive, and relentless—focusing on exposing hypocrisy, refusing to accept elite narratives, and pushing for justice for Epstein’s survivors. He uses biting humor and sarcasm (especially with repeated references to “I kept my underpants on Dershowitz”) to puncture Dershowitz’s legal and media strategies. The host’s energy and frequent direct addresses to the audience (“let’s see the receipts,” “let’s get them under oath”) keep the episode lively, incisive, and engaging.
For Listeners:
This episode is a deep dive into Alan Dershowitz’s continuing public defense regarding his Epstein connections, with Bobby Capucci breaking down not just the legalese but the ethical and societal implications for a justice system that often shields the rich and powerful. Skipping the technicalities and adverts, Capucci’s analysis boils the story to its bluntest essentials: elite denial, survivor perseverance, and the slow, public unraveling of a decades-old conspiracy.