← The Everyday Millionaire and Mindset Matters Podcast
The Everyday Millionaire and Mindset Matters Podcast
Mindset Matters - Episode #160 - Five Tools for Ascending the Mountain of Life
00:31:23
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- [00:04]
A
Hi there and welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast, where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach, Stephanie Hanlon. Franci. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the fifth filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in. Enjoy. Hey, folks, welcome to the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters. Stephanie.
- [00:55]
B
Hey, dad.
- [00:56]
A
So here we are. Trump is our new president.
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B
Ours?
- [01:01]
A
Well, I mean, when you look at the usa, they are the biggest economy in the world and really, they drive everything. So when we consider, especially when it comes to Canada. So is he our president? No, of course not. But when we look at how much of an effect we're at, then, yeah, Trump is the new president and it will have a big impact on Canada as we go through the next few years. And it doesn't help that Trump does not like Trudeau and has made that. Yeah, he stated that out loud.
- [01:33]
B
So, yeah, very clear. I mean, I look at the people that I follow sometimes on social media. I've got friends, I've got family members that are in mourning because he won and I can't quite figure out why. I mean, yes, he's got an impact, but to the emotional degradation of human beings that I know and respect and love that have such an attachment to a person that doesn't even know their name, you know?
- [02:02]
A
Well, there's a fundamental. Yeah, and I think that. But there's a fundamental that goes with it, right? Which is if you're dialed into what the narrative is around mainstream media, if you're not doing any kind of your own research, if you're just literally taking verbatim what's being said, then you look at what's happening in legacy media or mainstream media and, you know, certainly that whole thing is, what can you trust? What are you hearing? We know that in Canada, for example, a lot of what our mainstream media is, is funded by our government. They're ultimately not going to go against our current NDP liberal government and start talking about it. You're not getting it. You have to go deeper. Certainly X is one of those sources that is now uncensored. Musk made that very clear. You Start to get a different perspective, different insights and a different view of the world. We often, you know, when you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. But you have to take the time to actually research it, then decide what you're going to buy into or not what you're going to buy into. I don't care about Trump as much as I care about his policies. I care about the fact that his policies will have an impact on Canada, some of them negative and some of them not so negative, depending on how we can get a team over there to negotiate. But here's the breakdown. He surrounded himself with a team of a list business capitalists and they're going to run the country like a business. Which is my argument for years, is if we were to hold our politicians accountable for results, they would have been fired a long time ago. Having said all that, we're going to see the impact of that in the US So I'm a bigger fan of Trump's policies. Personalities aside, what I'm hearing and what I'm seeing, a lot of it I agree with. Although it's US Based, it's going to definitely ripple into Canada and I think some of it will be very good, but we're going to go through some pain. So there's my rant for the moment. As deep as I want to get in politics right now, that's not what this podcast, everybody here to talk about politics, but you make a good point, is that people are very, very charged. Many.
- [04:09]
B
Yeah. And I think when we kind of dig into the reasons why, I think one of our upcoming podcasts, we're going to talk about that, the great divide and you know, how it's been set up for us. And if you're, you know, to your point, if you're only watching mainstream media and that's where you're getting your news, it's very one sided. And I think when you look at the paradox of, of the life of, I call it the champions paradox. For example, when you see how two different imposing things have to exist in order to keep balance in the universe, I'm seeing it swing so far to one side and where people are actually expressing things like depression and suicidal tendencies and to think the grip that mainstream or legacy media or a narrative can have on people, I mean, we've seen it for four years, I mean, and longer. But at this point I just want to make sure that everyone knows that I love them and I don't want them to, you know, to be judging their Friends and family members, you know, because of an election that we really don't have anything to do with other than to your point, sub economic time.
- [05:11]
A
Well, yeah, and then, and at the end of the day we have to go back to that fundamental, you know, philosophy of stoics and stoicism. What can we control? What can't we control? And we certainly can't control the politics. We can't control what's going on. All we can do is say how are we going to approach it? What is our thesis? What is our plan? How are we going to not just survive but thrive in this current economic conditions? That's putting a plan together, coming up with a thesis and not spending a bunch of time blaming government, which I can do very, very comfortably. But it doesn't change anything. We still have to come up with a plan and say, okay, given the current economic conditions, given the current government conditions, what do we do? How do we actually live a great life and not be drawn into or drawn down in the current circumstances of elections in the US and soon to be, not soon enough, but soon to be Canada?
- [06:07]
B
Well, I think as long as we're leading with love and being curious and having the fundamentals of abuse, stoicism and knowing what we can control, but also what in our life matters. To me, fighting over an election or a president or certain things that have nothing to do with my day to day life is a big energy leak. Yes, I'm aware of it. I'm not sticking my head in the sand. I listen to as many different people in many different sides as you do. But ultimately when we bring it right home, I think it's important that we realize that the people that have stuck by us this whole time or the people that we love, the people that we respect, if we can hear their opinion and hear their side and lead with love, then I think, you know, we're going to be, we're going to navigate our way through this 100%.
- [06:52]
A
And I think too is that the people, you know, politics wasn't as big an issue in the past. What's happened is over the past five years we've seen that divisiveness, that polarity by that game changing lockdown that we had and that really opened up a whole different world societal. So we're at the effect of that the individuals really haven't changed their view. It's just more vocal, I think. And there is really a, I think a challenge to say how do we live in these conditions and we have to blame somebody for all of the shit that's happening in the world and to actually even feel good about it. Okay, Having said all that, it was a bit of a segue. Now that we look at it into. I decided to say here's five tools that we have in our toolbox that we often don't use. We use them out of order or incorrectly perhaps, or we forget that they're there. We just don't realize that they're there. Let's go through what these five tools are. I was going to list them, but I think we'll just keep everybody on the edge of their seat and talk about what the five tools are. But we'll start with the one that you actually mentioned would have been a great segue, and that is into the world of curiosity. So, you know, when we look at life and if we, and we've used these analogies many times before in different metaphors, when we look at life as a mountain that we decide that we're going to climb, right? We get to the base of that mountain and we go, holy cow, this mountain is far too big. But if we just first start with looking at the mountain and being curious, that's the first tool that we need. We get to the mountain base, we're interested in climbing this mountain. We've got an interest perhaps in doing it. We have to look at the paths, we have to look at what it's going to take to explore this particular mountain. So we have to be curious, where is this journey? How is this journey going to go? What is the potential path that we have to go on? And then we have to say, no, you know something, I'm going to start to climb. So the first one is curiosity. I know that you have a view of that. You actually mentioned curiosity. How do you want to, how do you want to comment on this?
- [09:01]
B
Well, I, of course, coming from the world that we come from, high level, high performance sports, is that curiosity has to be the number one of the, I call it the 15 Cs of being a champion. Curiosity is up on the top because if you're being curious, you're also seeking. You're looking for a path through. You're looking for what? What is the best option? What are my intentions? You're not attached to the outcome. Curious. Holding a curious energy means that you can investigate and you can look and learn without judgment. Ted Lasso, you know, he had three seasons. I think you're coming up with a fourth. His thing was be curious, not judgmental. And like I said before, that curiosity and that noticing about where you're stepping and if you're just going to take that first step up the mountain, then basically, I think curiosity is the entry point in the fuel to what I call the Champions Health insurance doesn't have.
- [09:54]
A
To break the bank. At oregonhealthcare.gov we're here to get you covered. Visit oregonhealthcare.gov to get started. Journey well, let's talk about the Champions journey in the context of we are climbing this mountain and we have these tools. We have to be aware that we have these tools. Sometimes we forget them, we don't use them, but they also have to be used. I think there is a method to the madness in terms of the order that you would use them. So the next, the next tool that we pull out once we've curious, once our curiosity has driven us to the base of this mountain and we have actually decided that we're going to climb. As we go along and we start to climb, we start to see the challenges, but we also start to appreciate the view. We start to see the new things that we're finding on our path, which creates passion. And hopefully we can embrace that passion and get excited about the mountain that we are climbing, the commitment to reach the summit, if you will, which is also going to fuel some determination. And between the curiosity being in play all of the time, driving that passion as we go and climb our metaphoric mountain of life or projects or whatever we got going on, we can get fired up and get excited and also attract other people. So what's your, what's your read on passion, given your work with your athletes?
- [11:23]
B
Oh, not just with the athletes, but even with people. That's where they get stuck, I think, from curiosity. And they want that inspiration and that fire and that motivation, that passion, and they think that passion is going to take them all the way up the mountain. So it stopped the passion. And I think what happens, I remember when we trained with Dr. John Demartini is he always said that passion is important, but it's only just passing the ions from one aspect to the other. And I just love that definition because energy in motion, emotion, the passion of that will wane. After a high, there's a low. After a low, there's a high and there's the mountain metaphor again. But ultimately passion is required, but it's not the end point. You're not going to get all the way up the mountain or all the way through to the journey or the Olympic gold medal or the NHL Stalley cup just with passion.
- [12:11]
A
You're not. Well, the other part of passion, and we're going to link to the next tool in our toolbox that we have, which is understanding our purpose. And, you know, passion and purpose are two things that we have that when we connect the dots, we create real momentum. Passion is the, I guess, the fuel to your point to keep climbing and at least have that curious kind of component of what we're doing and being excited about where this could lead. But when we can connect it to our purpose and then have some kind of a definition for purpose, it becomes more than just our personal quest. It actually, as you and I have talked about many times, it transforms more into a mission to inspire others. And ultimately is it is to achieve goals that are beyond just ourselves. You know, so if we can make a difference in people's lives, hence the podcast, hence the conversations that we have, you know, that is as much as it is exciting for us. If we weren't having any impact, if we didn't occasionally hear from some of our listeners, it would probably shut us down. Because really our one of our purposes or our purpose is in fact to have an impact on others. And so if we can connect passion with purpose, all of a sudden you get a lot of momentum. That clarity equals velocity to climb the mountain. So thoughts on purpose that you would add to that?
- [13:42]
B
Well, absolutely. I mean, without purpose, really what is there? You know, it gives us an opportunity to prioritize our passions, to, you know, circle back, to find out when we get to a new stage or a new plateau, when things flatten out. Like, how do we find that motivation, that inspiration, that passion again, is connecting to the purpose. And I love your three P's. You know, this kind of goes back to our last podcast. Is people passion and purpose or passion, purpose, people? You know, the three P's. And I think about that a lot is we are also trying to create productivity and profit out of that. So there's a couple more P's is that we can't shut down the fact that part of our purpose is also to have an amazing life. And in order to have an amazing life, we want to be able to have a massive impact on people's life. And even a small, you know, even a small impact. But ultimately, we want to be able to earn a living doing what we love to do. And I think that's where the swim lane around curiosity, passion and purpose can narrow for people if they understand. You don't just have to be a starving artist. You don't have to put what your passion and purpose is over here. And then go to work and, you know, hate your life. Right. There is a way to bring it together. And I think those are the conversations that are really have become important to me over the last few years.
- [14:55]
A
And one thing I want to add to that, you know, because certainly we want to be paid and we want to be profitable for the contribution that we are. This isn't about being a charity, although there's lots of charitable things that we do on a regular basis. There is something around, you know, when we talk about purpose, when we talk about passion, purpose being something that is outside of ourselves as well, is passion and purpose are often driven when we bring relationship into it. Because if we are passionate about something, if we have a clear purpose that's bigger than us, we actually attract others into that conversation. And I want to say that because this isn't about climbing the mountain alone. And I just want to, you know, we don't climb the metaphoric mountain of our life alone. There's many people involved and who we surround ourselves with, et cetera. Okay. Another tool that we have is actually autonomy. So gaining momentum and climbing the mountain, or gaining altitude, if you will, when we're looking at what we have in terms of the freedom to choose what we believe is the best path for us to travel up the mountain, and then we make those decisions and we align with our journey and the values that we say we want to live, that's where the autonomy comes into play and making those choices. Because as you go up the mountain, it may be getting steeper, it may be getting rougher, it may be getting more difficult to travel, and we're going to have to make different decisions. Again, we may see the path, but who do we have to become to climb that path? What do we have to link to? And ongoing, we talk about values. And by the way, there's just kind of a commercial break here is that we do have that free seven areas of light white paper that is on our website, the Everyday Millionaire. Ca if you want to go in there. It is a very comprehensive look at the seven or the seven areas of life and our values.
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B
I'm so excited.
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A
Along the way on our journey, we're constantly having to make choices. Interesting. With a young client I'm currently having some conversation with as he's trying to grow into what's next for him, into the leader and the man that he's to become. He's getting frustrated because he finds himself going back into old patterns. But that is part of climbing the mountain. Is that we sometimes go back two or three steps to reconfigure, to look at the path we took and go, you know something, I got to make some adjustments to this path. I've got to change and. Or I got to recalibrate, catch my breath, revisit the choices I'm making. So that's part of it as well.
- [17:46]
B
Well, you. Yeah, I think that I know what you're talking about, so I think that's really important is that when we're in a new era or closing one era with grace and intentional closure doesn't mean things are finished and over. And I'm, you know, I'm all that in a bag of chips now. Right. You got to go back and just test. There's a little bit of test that we have to do every once in a while to make sure that we're going in the right direction. And economy is not about being alone. It's about understanding how we can use our curiosity, our passion, and our purpose to signify and to telegraph our values. And I think that's what I really think is important, is that some of what has been, I think, taken away from a lot of people over the last few years was autonomy, about honoring what they do and the choices that we make and. And understanding that there's a consequence. And sometimes, whether you believe in karma or not, the consequences don't always show up immediately. You know, if I give you $100 and I. You don't give me $100 back, I mean, I'm not talking like that kind of karma, but if I give you $100 and then somewhere down the road, I get $100 worth of value somewhere, then that is really. It's informing and allowing me to see that the contribution and the purpose and. And the path that I'm taking is the right one, if we see it that way. But if we don't honor our autonomy, we don't honor our sovereignty or our ability to have that paradox in order to fit into our society and to our community, we have to know who we are, or we'll get sucked into any other kind of community. How many times have we seen or I've talked to people who've been really caught up in a culture, caught up in something and made all these decisions in their lives when they realized that really wasn't what they wanted? And so when we understand our values, we start to build that graceful autonomy, that ability to stand alone, that ability to stand in the light of our truth so that we can bring our Best stuff forward so we can be judged for our authenticity and included in society and included in communities that align with our values. Is it always perfect? No. But if you, for example, if I state my opinion on this political climate right now, or climate change or whatever, and somebody that I've known for 20 or 25 years goes, yeah, I'm out. You know, what's one of my biggest fears right now is that I've got friends or family members listening to the podcast and that maybe don't know that I have strong opinions about certain things that we're being fed by this media, et cetera. I did have one family member say, yeah, I'm out. See ya. So a lifelong friend or a lifelong relationship, if it can be shattered when you step into your autonomy, that's feedback also. So we also have to be aware that there might be some people, places or situations that will disappear once you step into your autonomy with great.
- [20:36]
A
Yeah, that's a, that's a whole. We could do a whole podcast on that alone. Maybe we should, you know, but anyways, that's for another day, but you make some great points there and have me kind of pondering on a couple things. But let's carry on with the final tool that we get to as we climb this mountain, hopefully is mastery. And, you know, as we get to that goal, that vision that we have, and hopefully we've honed the skills that we needed to get there. You know, that's the 20 year overnight success perhaps, or you know, the 10,000 hours that we put in, whatever it might be. But we've honed those skills and we've learned to, I guess we've learned and we actually become adept at navigating the challenges that show up. We take what we've learned along our journey and apply it to other circumstances and other goals and other paths along new mountains perhaps that we want to take on. So we start to achieve a level of excellence in what we do and who we are and how we show up. And, you know, I know that it's interesting in my own experience right now, when you consider I've been doing the podcast the Everyday Millionaire for eight years, we've been doing this for over three years. And we start to understand that, yeah, we can reflect on where we started, where we are. I think we've gotten a lot better. As a matter of fact, you know, our list of followers or the number of downloads we have each month has continued to grow and expand and the feedback that we've gotten has continued to be positive. So we've gained, I think, some level of mastery, you know, recently, you know, even being asked to speak at TEDx. Gosh, that's a push for me. Right? Like, I actually am quite nervous about it as much as I speak. I'm going, holy cow. That's a whole new format that I've got to kind of wrap my mind around. I'm actually a little bit nervous about it, but it's part of the journey as I climb our metaphoric mountain of life. It's part of the journey and the experience that we'll have while climbing. So your thoughts on mastery?
- [22:39]
B
10,000 hours. You know, becoming the best in the world at something. Whether it's just being the best Stephanie Hamlet I can be. You know, I look at you, you know, over the years and how much I admire the journey and your commitment and your ability to. To do, you know, whether it's tasks or. Or the way that you fully commit and see the outcomes. Like, it's. That's a masterful way of being. And it's like you choose mastery in everything you do. And I've learned a lot about that from you. And when I think about being a master coach, for example, what I. What did I have to do to become a master coach and have that acknowledgement from Skate Canada or Hockey Canada, I want to only few people that are a master coach of Hockey Canada and Skate Canada over the years. So the title master can mean something, but in a term. For me, the term is mastery. It's. It's more of a verb. It's what you're doing ongoing. And, you know, you say that about TedX and I. And I wouldn't be doing TedX had you not thrown my name in the ring. But you got invited because of who you've had to become, not just because of the podcast, but also, you know, the man that you're becoming and the leader that you are. And I think what we forget sometimes when we get invited to do those certain things, it's not because, oh, look, it's lucky. It's because it was the next logical step in your journey. And I believe more in the metaphysical way of creating and really putting out there what it is that we want to create and then focusing on that, visualizing, journaling. Like, I'm not surprised at all that you were invited to do that. I just get to, you know, hang on to your coattails on this particular one. And I'm really nervous, too. But it's the confidence, I think that we can share in that. And that's the other thing around mastery is that when you're on a journey of mastery, you tend to attract other people that are on a journey of mastery, not necessarily their experts. I don't like the whole expert syndrome or the professor syndrome. I mean, I don't ever want to be pretend that I'm an expert in anything because that would mean I stopped being curious and I stopped and maybe lose my passion and I disconnect from my purpose and maybe I just become, you know, another, you know, NPC on the journey of, you know, whatever. I want my autonomy, I want my bodily autonomy, I want my sovereignty. And I think based on where we become or who we've had to become, this is a natural step. I don't want to see this as the end or anything like that. But mastery itself to me is a journey.
- [25:02]
A
Well, mastery in itself is a whole new mountain, isn't it? It is where you get tested and you need to be tested. You know, whether that be a opportunity to speak from a TEDx stage. I've recently had people reach out to me and have me speak or have conversations with what's going on economically. My view of what's the economic fundamentals that are kind of driving our world and what we see, and not just in the world of real estate, but ultimately, you know, me as an armchair economist, if you will, and that's the best I can consider myself in that. In that kind of world, if you will, is people reaching out, saying, I want to hear your view. But I'm being asked by what I would call my peers, my equals, often who see and hear me in a certain way. To me, that's a test of mastery. You know, can I actually step up? So when I use the word nervous, I think that I have to add to that. The nervousness is excited nervousness. I'm excited about doing it. I'm excited about being tested. I'm excited about having to step up and show up and deliver, but I'm excited about all that. But I'm nervous about it too. Right. So I don't know if that all comes together to make sense, but that's part of achieving some form of mastery. And it's got to be tested all the time.
- [26:20]
B
It does. And if it's not tested, then you don't know if it's real. I think that's the same when you think about in sport. We go through competition, we take tests, we move forward. And as you go up the mountain, literally and figuratively, the air gets thinner. So if you're not in good shape or you haven't prepared yourself to get there, it's going to be harder to breathe. That's why some people will go, we'll send people athletes to train at altitude so that when they come back to, you know, sea level or where they normally train, they're actually in better shape. So there's strategies around mastery as you are moving towards the life that you want to create by design is that the bigger the goal, and I say this all the time, the bigger the goal, the bigger the test. People will say, I want to go to the Olympic Games. And then they can't figure out why they're getting so much pushback, why there's so much blowback on, you know, at certain competitions or judges or their travel, you know, bullshit happening. All of this. I said, listen, you set a really big goal, you're preparing yourself.
- [27:14]
A
Yeah, it's interesting too, the mastery side of things, because when you consider what you know, I am, has done the Ice Academy of Montreal. You working with however many world and Olympic level athletes, their mastery is always being tested by another country. So you may be the best in the country that you represent, but what does that mean in terms of mastery on a global scale, on a world class scale? And this, you know, we've, you know, if anybody's golfing, you know this to be true. If you're golfing with a bunch of people that are your equal, you'll rarely golf your best game. Put yourself into a foursome where the other three people are better golfers than you and your golf will improve. Not to say you'll win, but your golf game automatically improves. The bar gets lifted. And that's also why masters don't have a problem being tested. They actually look forward to it. It is a way for them to confirm or to know where they need to improve. So we've spent a lot of time on the mastery one, but I think that's an important one. So if we kind of COVID these five tools that we all have that we can use to climb the metaphoric mountain. We got to think about curiosity connected to passion, connected to purpose, Think about autonomy and mastery. So those five tools, we all own them, they do kind of flow for those of us who think linear, they do kind of flow in a linear way. If you put it all together as you climb the mountain. And it's best not to try and use them out of order.
- [28:56]
B
I think it is in the test. The tests come at each one of those levels. You know, you can stop it Being curious. And that becomes like a cycle of procrastination. Right? Like, think about it. I'm just curious. I'm still learning. I'm learning. I got to learn this, I got to learn that. And it's a trap. And I see people will use it as. What do we call it? Motion versus action. Right thing. You can stuck at passion, just pass the ions around and just surround yourself with other passionate people that don't really get anything done. Purpose. Or you can hang your entire hat on purpose and realize. And how judgmental. I find some people that are really purpose driven can be because everybody else, if they don't have a purpose, then they're just obviously wrong or they're evil, or they're on the wrong side of the tracks. And then autonomy. Here's the one. Can you stand alone and can you honor your values? Can you show up in a way that you're ready to get tested? Because you don't get tested. The whole team doesn't get tested. We get tested as individuals so we can be a part of a community as we can be a part of a team. We're not just blow that away and go, oh, yeah, I'm just gonna stand by you, honey. You're the bat. You're the bomb. I'm just going to stand behind you. No, I have to be your. Your equal. I have to be able to be autonomous and pull my own weight up the mountain. And of course, the last one, when you think of mastery, we talk about, you know, the air center up there. There's also less people there. There's less people that will go on this journey to mastery because they'll want to step over or get there sooner or you did it. I used to have a partner that said to me, I want to have what you have, but I don't want to have to do what you did. And that should have been a clue for me, you know, wanted what I had, but she didn't want to have to do what I did. And she wanted to do it her own way. And I respected that. And I couldn't fully. I wish I would have caught it sooner. I probably could have maybe handed her this map saying, you can't really step over any of that stuff. This has to be something that you create yourself. It's self mastery. This is not about, you know, becoming a master of anybody else.
- [30:51]
A
It's lonely at the top, as they say.
- [30:54]
B
Can be.
- [30:55]
A
Stephanie, I think we covered this pretty well. I liked it was a good topic.
- [30:59]
B
Yeah, me too. That was fun.
- [31:01]
A
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions or questions you'd like answered, please email me@CEO canada.com that's CEO canada.com I look forward to hearing from you. And until next time. Patrick O.