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The Everyday Millionaire and Mindset Matters Podcast
Mindset Matters - Episode #166 - From Vision to Reality: Tools for a Thriving 2025
00:36:51
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- [00:00]
Patrick
Foreign.
- [00:05]
Stephanie Hanlon
Welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset Matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filling filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in. Enjoy.
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Patrick
Stephanie. Happy New Year.
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Francie
Hey, Happy new year. Happy 2025.
- [00:57]
Patrick
2025. Here we are, episode 166.
- [01:04]
Francie
Wow.
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Patrick
So isn't that, you know, we do. So that's about 52 episodes a year. So we're three over three years into it. And here we are, episode 166. We're going into 2025 and we got some things to talk about, things to think about. And where do you want to start?
- [01:26]
Francie
Well, I think things to really maybe consider, reminisce, kind of talk about what went well, maybe what didn't go so well, maybe some of the excitement or the fears coming into 2025. This is a never before had kind of environment when right now, whether it's economically, macroeconomically, globally with the wars going on, we've never been here in history. So I think there's some gaps that maybe we can talk about.
- [01:56]
Patrick
We could. Yep. And we may get there. I just had a thought as we were expressing that, that a couple things that, you know, some things we should talk about, let listeners know, is that January, February, March dates are coming out, but we are going to be doing three masterclass virtual events. They're just zoom. There are going to be like 90 minutes long. They're definitely going to go out to all of our previous clients. They're just free 90 minutes. Not selling anything, not doing anything is just let's align as many people as we can where we get to be a contribution in helping individuals kind of get their 2025 lined up and going. So we'll be at those 90 minute sessions. We'll provide some tools and some thought processes. I know that we'll be definitely talking about the values matrix again, seven areas of life, the circle of support. Those are a couple things that we'll definitely be touching on. And there was something else and I don't remember what it was anyways. It'll be some great.
- [02:58]
Francie
Probably just how amazing I am.
- [03:01]
Patrick
We'll be talking a lot about how amazing Stephanie is. Yes. Yes. Because she is.
- [03:06]
Francie
I have one question. A couple of podcasts ago, you mentioned that we don't control when the ads pop in on one of the platforms. Is that still the case?
- [03:14]
Patrick
That is still the case. We can't seem to get control of that. So I don't know what to say about that. It is what it is right now and, okay, we don't monetize the podcast. We get a little bit of ad revenue. Kinda not really covers the costs of the team to edit and do all the things the team does. Because none of this happens. Let's be clear. If we lose our team, folks, yeah, this podcast is done because there's no fricking way I'm getting into the back end of stuff. They do a great job. They love what they do. They're very good at it. And so anyways, that's all to say. It's the only way we've got of justifying it a little bit, you know, and anyways, we do it because we love to do it.
- [03:56]
Francie
Let's start there. Let's start with gratitude. What are you most grateful for this year, hon?
- [04:00]
Patrick
2025. What am I grateful for? You know, one thing that I always share with my guests is that on the Everyday Millionaire podcast is I'm always grateful for my guests and the contribution that they get to be. I'm always grateful for you and, and I always express gratitude for you and, of course, family and the team, because none of it works without it. You know, it's. Everything gets pretty empty if you don't have that, you know, if I don't have you and family and my team and community, what. What is it really? What is there? Nothing.
- [04:34]
Francie
So anyway, in your values, in your values, I think that's also, you know, the automatic gratitude, obviously the highest gratitude is for you and for family, but there's also some gratitude this year I have for some learnings that weren't as easy, you know, or, or as. As comfortable. And I think embracing some of the. The more difficult things that maybe I've been sidestepping. My theme for the year was self care. And I, I got. I got pretty good. I. I don't think I went all the way there, but I am grateful for really having the opportunity and the means to. And the space, you know, to get some time to take care of myself and to use the weights and to use the hot tub. And I haven't done a cold plunge yet this winter. But having those things to take care of my health is really important. I'm grateful for the team, obviously. I'm grateful for this beautiful country we live in, and I'm grateful for the fact that there's probably going to be an election in January.
- [05:30]
Patrick
There won't be an election in January. Not a chance. Anyways, let's not talk politics because I just get fired up. I was having a good day. You started talking about that. So here's the thing about gratitude, is that there is a kind of frame, if you will, a framework or a frame of mind, a mindset that when we bump up against the challenges, we can look at them a couple different ways and listen, I'm certainly not great at it, but I can eventually come around to, you know, what doesn't kill you makes you stronger. And there's definitely a very. I have a very strong belief in that. If I can get through these challenges, you know, give me something hard, and then that will make me better for it. You know, part of what I bring to the table in terms of my own experience in business is the fact that. And coaching overall in real estate or business or whatever it is, is the fact that I've hit and gone through and faced some big challenges and made it through one way or the other. And so there's no replacing that actual experience. You know, we can read about it, we can talk about it, but until you actually have to maneuver it, work with it, deal with it, you really have an experience that you can talk about lifting a heavy weight, but until you actually lift that heavy weight, you physically don't get it. It doesn't. You don't get it at a cellular level. So it's all to say that it takes time to get there. But when I reflect on 20, 24 and some of the many kind of mistakes I made and or challenges I faced is that I have to make sure that I'm committed to learning from it and then expanding on that. So that's part of, you know, also being grateful for. These things sometimes happen and it doesn't look like it or feel like it in the moment, but I think we often get there.
- [07:19]
Francie
No, I'm with you. You know, the humility that comes from, you know, the headwinds and the understanding of, you know, the pushback of making some judgment calls, for example, or some decisions and not getting the results that I wanted. There is some humility in there and some humble pie, as my mom used to say, to eat when it comes to taking responsibility and turning around and, you know, regrouping and starting again and. And not thinking I know everything. You know, I'm just. I'm so opposed to what I call the expert syndrome, or you call it, I think, professor syndrome, where, you know, sometimes as coaches, you know, we can come across as if we know everything. And the truth is, I just, I just. The more I know, the more I just don't know. And the more mistakes I make, the more I get feedback. You know, I don't look at mistakes or in skating and falling, we call it feedback. You know, that's how we learn. And. And I just don't ever want to be the person that is so in my ego or so. And. And more. More. It's more a case of being scared, you know, and that's why I think a lot of times I wouldn't make a decision or I was, you know, a little bit paralyzed moving forward this year because I didn't know what the outcome was going to be. A lot of things changed for us in 2024. A lot of people went away and, you know, different things happened and we had to make some new decisions and then pivot a couple of times. So, you know, the fantasy of after 2020, 2022 is over, that we were going to go into small, smooth sailing. You know, to be really Frank, I think 2025 is when a lot of the gaps are going to start showing up.
- [08:48]
Patrick
Oh, I. I would agree. I would agree. So, having said all that, you know, when I look at 2025 and some of the plans that, you know, we've got, and I know I can speak, you know, from my perspective, business wise, Andy, and, and I can speak a little bit for you as well, is that, you know, collectively we've made some business plans, we've already put some things in motion, we're moving things forward. But here's the kind of a critical component of that that I think, and how we operate, which is we don't have the answers of everything. We don't know exactly how it's going to go. This goes back to things that we've talked about in the past. You know, 2025, you know, there'll be a lot of goal setting, and I'm going to, you know, and neither of us have really been big proponents of setting goals. We have a vision that we have for our life in general, and then we start moving forward saying, okay, how does this serve the vision? How do we like this? How are we feeling about it? Do we Want to do this. You know, I had a meeting the other day and a couple of guys saying, well, we could do this, we should do that. And I go. And I actually said to these two gentlemen, I go, I'm not looking for new ideas. I've got lots of ideas, and I'm not looking to reinvent the wheel. You know, that's not where I'm coming from. I understand. I think it's a great idea, but I'm not willing to get back in the trenches and do that. Now, that's a couple of things around that. You know, number one is I'm really clear on what I don't want to do more than I am clear on what I do want to do. So that's an interesting component of it, secondly, is that as much as we have, you know, teams to write paychecks for and businesses to continue to grow and to build, you know, ultimately we're in a position where we have some breathing room. You know, we don't have a ton of debt and we don't, you know, we're at the phase in our life we don't need more stuff. I don't need to go, and we don't need to buy anything. So our cost of living, I mean, I guess all relative, but relatively speaking, you know, we're not out chasing all the time, you know, and trying to survive. We actually have some capacity, you know, not just financially, but bandwidth wise, to kind of step back and make some of these decisions and make some of these calls with some clarity, you know, in terms of what we want to do or what we don't want to do, and some of the initiatives that are on there that we're, you know, we're putting on the table, you know, recently or over the past couple of years, and this is interesting, is that, you know, as we look at what's going on in the real estate world and we look at the slowdown of real estate and real estate investment, of course that affects Rain and its community, so. But it affects everybody in this industry. So, Alfonso Quadrant I with wealth Genius. We've collaborated on a number of initiatives, but we've literally taken a couple of years to build that relationship, make sure our values align. And we're having these conversations, you know, that Alfonso and I, when we have a conversation, when we talk about how we could move forward, what it might look like, how do we bring the communities together to serve the community, we have to make sure, as each of us being the pointy end of the spear on either side that him and I are aligned in terms of values. The good news is we are, and we're doing a number of initiatives and there's others that are reaching out to align and to kind of go. So when we look at 2025, this comes back to understanding what our core values are. Having those conversations, what feels like can be courageous conversations, but also having a vision for what a lifestyle, what a business, what a collective community could look like. And we don't have all the details, but what we do know is, is that we have the capacity, the wherewithal and the willingness to move things forward, to see how they turn out. You know, we're not building things of in advance. We're beta testing things and we're getting great feedback and we're going to continue on that path. That's just an example. Right. So change is hard, there's no doubt about it. But there is the other phrase, which is when the pain of remaining the same or trying to maintain the status quo gets greater than the pain of change, your change. So, you know, we're into the, we're into the discomfort of changing because the status quo is not good enough.
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Francie
Well, I don't think I've ever looked at change that way. I appreciate that it's difficult, but I've always loved, you know, the, the opportunity to change. I don't like change for change itself. That drives me crazy. To me, that's a big waste of time. But I also have a really strong sense of change when it comes to inviting things that are new to come in. And what I'm really seeing, based on what you just said, is that 2025 for us seems to have a real alignment around collaboration, curiosity, community, collaboration, you know, coming into it. I think to me there's a theme there because, you know, the bigger we are and the stronger we are in numbers. I mean, if you want to go big, you know, go with the team if you, if, if you want to, you know, if you don't, then, you know, still strike out and do it alone. But ultimately, even when I look at the different things I'm involved in and whether it's Quantum Speed, Ice Academy, Montreal Pro Skate, Skating success, the Rain, the companies that we are building are all based on collaboration, even the trusted partners. You know, I look at the trusted partners and I'm more comfortable investing in, you know, Natasha's REIT or know, Dominic's REIT or someone's REIT that I know that I know that person. So to me, there's an energy of Collaboration that I'm really inviting and not from a place of blind trust. I mean, we've tried that before where you just trust someone because they said some really good things and then you put in the correction like. Like, you know, you're just scrambling. But I think we're now long in the tooth enough and have enough really great relationships that we can look at collaborating on a different level with and making sure that we're in line with our values. When I look at collaboration, I look at, you know, what can we serve? How can we serve not just ourselves, but how do we serve each other? And that, to me, is really, I think, a key point going into this next. Whatever we're going into.
- [14:55]
Patrick
Well, there's a couple of things around that. So as we go into 2025 and we start to consider, even where you kind of started, with what's going on on a global macro scale, politically, economically, there's no question that 2025, there's going to be some headwinds for many. And ultimately, we don't want to go it alone. Nobody should be wanting to go it alone. I mean, there's certain scenarios that may make sense. So for 2025, in order to up the game, in order to be the better version of ourselves, part of that is, you know, where are you stepping in with others in relationship to up your game? You know, if you stay in the same circle of influence that you've always had, unless it's actually pushing you to be better, to be more. If you're the smartest person in the room, then you're probably in the wrong room. You know, ultimately, as we go into 2025, we have to come to, I believe, a place where we're relationally hanging out with people that are doing what we want to do or upping the game or, you know, raising the bar, the performance bar, if you will. And I think it's really important that, you know, for a lot of people, they stay in their comfort zone. They hang out with a group of people that are energy leaks as opposed to bringing energy into those relationships. You know, are the relationships you have, you know, pushing you to be better, or are they actually having you and supporting you just being in your comfort zone and making excuses and going, yeah, yes, the weather's crappy. I get it. You know, when. No, the weather is just the weather. You know, let's go. Let's keep keep moving forward. And that goes back to, you know, you know, certainly over the past year and a. Well over a year now, I guess. That I've been certainly doing a lot of different training and some of the things that I've been doing is I go through the ebb and flow. You start to really understand how much of, you know, maintaining the right diet, going to the gym, working out, doing things is really mental state. And are you aware of your mental state and can you bust through it? Anyways, some days I do okay, some days I don't do so well. But the days I always do well are the days my trainer comes in and we work together and, you know, and then I train every single time. Know, there's not a time where I make excuses that I'm not going to work out. If my trainer's coming in that day, then I'm training. So, you know, it is an interesting observation is that if you don't have the mental fortitude, if you will yet to go through those things, then surround yourself and put yourself in environments where you are being asked, or I'm going to say, forcing yourself to step up and really take those big steps.
- [17:47]
Francie
Yeah, well, the word that comes up to me when you talk like that is, is accountable. Like you're giving yourself the. The gift of accountability. And, you know, I think there was a time where the people that I would work in some regards were afraid of that word, you know, afraid of the word accountable or responsible, and just means, you know, your response. Able. Like, what is your ability to respond to situations? What do you account. Able. What are you able to be accountable for? Like, to me, it's when I break those words down and I go, oh, you know what? And even when you're talking about relationship, you know, being with the trainer is a relational experience. It's a transaction. It's a relational investment, a relational equity. It's not transactional. And when I think of how much I've moved through, I've never really been a transactional person in business. I've always been relational. And I think that's given me a lot of confidence in the decisions that I make because I'm not looking for an outcome, you know, sort of a 50, 50 or, you know, you're going to give me this, so I'm going to give you that. So when I work with a trainer or I'm working with one of my coaches or vice versa, I want to give more. And. And that actually for me is a way of keeping myself accountable. And I'm not. I sometimes I just want to go upstairs and watch a show, you know, and just to turn my brain off. But when I Have somebody that I want to be in relationship with, I feel a certain level of intimacy with. I want to, you know, improve their life as they're improving mine. I think there's a space where this year there's a piece and the word that came up for me the other day in my meditation was accountability and as much as self care. Now I want to be fully accountable for that and to call myself on it and to put people around me that allow me to be that way relationally. Even in our retail store, what we're trying to encourage and teaching skating, for example, it's not transactional, even though retail is there as a transactional system. But I want to really continue to create spaces where people feel, feel like they're supported every time they come into our space. Whether it's our store in Edmonton, pro skate, whether it's, you know, our, the compound out here. If we end up doing another live event or even on a zoom call, I want people to feel like it's relational and that they're getting more than they, they Invest. Like the ROI is there, so to speak.
- [19:54]
Patrick
So for 2025, when we start to look forward into what it is that we want to achieve, you know, what is the lifestyle? What is the way of being? Are we always asking ourselves the question, am I being the best version of myself that comes to self awareness? What are we thinking? How are we thinking about things? How are we seeing the world? We look at the world through a set of filters and we can't help it if we don't change our perspective. We can not have a different perception of what's going on. Sometimes it's critical to really step back and ask ourselves that question. There's another part of this that, you know, we, you know, in, of course, we've shared many times on my own fitness journey or refitness, I'll call it, because, you know, I've done that for so many years. But even as I was going through, you know, I had my target weight that I was wanting to get to. Like, let's say that's the mountain that I'm climbing. That along the way is I'm going, that's a really big mountain. And sometimes I would get a little bit shut down around that. And it goes back to what I've shared many times. Choose the mountain that you're going to climb and then only look at the next step. So instead of me saying I'm going to lose £25 or £35 or whatever the number is this week, I'm Going to lose two pounds. I'm going to get to this weight. And it wasn't the top of the mountain. It was just an incremental bite size piece and that's I think a really important component of it. So whether it's a shift in a relationship that you have a significant other that you want to make the relationship better, maybe it's the business shifting the culture of your business or going from one career to another, you know, a lot of these things have to be thought of incrementally and then what are you doing to take steps towards that outcome? But being bite sized pieces, you know, is certainly an aspect of that because whatever shift or change we want in our lives, if it's going to take the whole year, give it the whole year. And if it happens to manifest in six months, awesome. But don't force the river. You know, push yourself. But you know, you have to also understand the ebb and flow of life and what it is you're working backwards from so you don't get shut down. Because otherwise look at the mountain, you go, I'm going to climb that mountain. And then the next thing you know you shut down because the mountain is a really big one or you don't.
- [22:22]
Francie
Shut down, sometimes you just go, oh, I'm not doing that, that's too hard. There's another mountain, there's another mountain I'll do, I'll get at the bottom of this mountain. And then it just becomes this cycle of never really fully completing anything which does wreaks habit on your self esteem. And I'm seeing that more and more as we're looking at people waking up, so to speak, I think in the language that is being used right now out there in the vernacular as people wake up to, you know, maybe it's not as rosy as it is, you know, sunny ways with Justin and maybe it's not as good economically. Maybe there are some issues financially, maybe there are some things I need to work in my relationship. But instead of doing that then we just try to find a distraction or a different way of looking at the same thing but not really stepping into it. And we call that motion versus action. And I really see, and I'm committed this year to, to see what comes up that I'm going to have to lean into, whether it is losing more weight, whether it's, you know, taking again upping self care, upping my, my due diligence, my commitment. I've always been a steward of money and of our finances and I really want to up that even more be more involved in that. So I'm looking at the seven areas of life and realizing there's going to be a little bit of pushback. And the reason I say that is because there may be some things I did four years ago, five years ago, 10 years ago, or last year that might show up as a result of a decision that I made. And that's the other thing I really found this year is that I'm dealing with a little bit of, dealing with some things that may have been initiated a couple of years ago. So instead of avoiding those things, I'm bringing them in and taking a look at them and I'm finding it's forcing me to slow down. And even on the weekend when you were in Toronto at the Expand event with Alfonso, I really went inside and went, okay, where like there's some things coming up for me that I know I'm going to have to look at and deal with. Maybe I've avoided them or some things that I wasn't looking at or taking care of or being mindful for. So I want to just mention and if this, I don't know if this resonates with you, hun, but any kind of thing I've avoided over the last couple of years, I want to ensure that I bring it up and I don't step over it this year because for some reason I feel like this year's a pivot year for you and I. Whether it's new decisions, I don't know, maybe there's some changes, I don't know, just throwing stuff out there, but you never know. But I don't want to be making decisions out of panic or out of reactivity. So that's my commitment, is I'm going to start going up and cleaning out some closets, cleaning out some, some emotional closets even, and maybe some spiritual closets that maybe I haven't had the courage to look at in a while. So to me, there's also that coming into the new year is making sure that I'm not. There's not this boomerang effect of maybe something I, someone I pissed off or someone I hurt is going to come up and you know, it's going to come and bite us in the ass. But I want to just circle back. I call it circling back, checking in, circling back, checking in. Not that you can change it, but when it does show up, if it does show up, and some people call it karma or whatever, I just don't want to be ignorant to it or deny it's happening. The people that I'm talking to are saying, oh, my gosh, I had no idea we were in so much trouble. What is this carbon tax thing that we're dealing with? And then they wake up and go, I didn't know that we were funding the war in Ukraine. I thought that was against Russia. Like, there's all these things that are coming up that people are starting to go, oh, and I just don't want that to become super heavy, especially in our, you know, in our circles that people that we're supporting is that when they do wake up, that we want to be here to help them navigate what's going on next.
- [25:52]
Patrick
100%. There's a. There's a, you know, a couple things for 2025, you know, like, so 2024, we were very much. The theme was clarity equals velocity. And I think that becomes foundational. You know, I think that theme for us will always resonate because when we think about 2024 and how often when we anchored to clarity equals velocity, we saw, number one, where we perhaps weren't being as clear as we thought. We saw where others weren't being as clear as they thought. And there was times where nobody even gave the thought process to, are we being clear? Is there clarity in what's going on? And the answer to that question was no. So clarity equals velocity I love as a kind of an anchor for me. And that comes back to, you know, I know for myself is. Is focus. So one of the things that I often state is that we talk about time management, or many talk about time management. They say, I got to manage my time better. And is such a misstatement because there is no such thing as managing time. Time just is. You have 24 hours. I have 24 hours. As a matter of fact. The only reason that time has any meaning is because we've assigned it a meaning. You know, as human beings, at some point we said, well, let's, you know, let's assign something so we know, you know, like there's. We had to assign a time. So we created this thing called time.
- [27:18]
Francie
And as a social contract, we all can agree at this point that daylight savings times is bullshit.
- [27:25]
Patrick
Yeah, it's like fiat currency. We agreed that a dollar was a dollar. Okay, so we digress. It isn't time management. It is focus management. What are we focused on? And we all can get caught in busy work. And so even more recently, the past couple of months, I've really gotten out of and. Or I should say I've gotten out of it, because it is a bit of a trap, is you get into busy work, it's just doing shit that isn't moving anything forward. It's things that you can convince yourself need to be done. And perhaps that is, in fact, true. But what is the focus management? And this goes back to the two gentlemen that were, you know, kind of spinning off on a couple of ideas and let's do this, and let's arrange these events and, you know, you can speak there, and we'd love to hear you speak there. And I'm getting more of those opportunities, but in the context that they were presenting it, I'm going, no, that is not the best use of my time. You know, let me know when you've got it figured out and I'm happy to come and speak. I'll hit it out of the park. I'll do the research, I'll do the geeky things that I like to do, and we'll do that. But it goes, what am I focused on that is really moving the ball forward? And that becomes about focus management. And so even now, I've laid out many things that I want to do in the first six months of 2025. Not many things that I want to do. We've literally locked things down. I've locked things down of commitments in the calendar. I'm doing this. So that gets everything else in motion. That's focus management as well. Because the rest of the team now knows, okay, we've got these things that Patrick is committed to. This is what we're getting behind. This is how we've got to get marketing wound up. This is who we've got to get engaged. All to say is that focus management is so important, and it's different than being busy.
- [29:19]
Francie
Oh, so you know, creating a painting a busy picture. That's what my mom used to say. Why are you painting a busy picture? You know, because it wasn't true. But you know what? This clarity versus velocity theme, I think you're right. I think it should be something of the foundation of our family. Mission statement is really funny because the more I'm asking myself for clarity, and I'm asking for clarity from other people. Do you know that it's actually cutting people out of my life because their preference is ambiguity. So when you're in ambiguity, you don't really commit and you don't really go very far, and you certainly don't go very fast. So ambiguity creates this whole cycle of not really doing anything. But you're painting a busy picture. So when I demand clarity of myself, and sometimes I don't because I just know the people around me are going to be either pissed off or they're going to think I'm being super aggressive or really bossy. And that's what clarity brings. And then the speed of decision making can come from that. And I love that pace. I love. I call that the champion's journey. I love Decide, move on. Decide, move on. Decide, move on. But it does land for some people in other ways as being pushy or bossy or aggressive. And I've really learned to not take that personally anymore. And for the people that are, you know, really loving and committed to ambiguity and using lots of words and lots of ideas. And this is going to happen in three months and six months. And what about next year? Let's talk about this. I. It's almost like it shuts my brain down now. I would rather just talk about what is. What's possible and then start dreaming and start laughing and, and joking and having a great time doing it 100%.
- [30:59]
Patrick
So 2025, if we start to commit to what is the mountain, what are the next steps we're going to take? Commit to focus management. Consider the relationships that you need to create. Maybe there's somebody that you'd like to get to know better and reach out and actually suggest that I'd like to be able to get to know you better. Maybe there's some things that we can do together. I think the more difficult thing is there's probably some relationships that aren't serving you and that you have to start to distance yourself from. And that's sometimes a difficult thing to do because we get into our own comfort zones. There's certain patterns and expectations of what people will think. We know that that's often what gets in the way when we're working with some of our coaching clients is the fact that when they start to shift in how they want to operate and how they want to live life, it means that those that are kind of in for the ride or are comfortable with how they operate because it serves them, as soon as you change the dance step, it gets a little bit uncomfortable. And so those are often difficult scenarios. But that's where having courageous conversation, being able to move forward, don't make anybody else wrong. This is your journey, by the way. And we've often, you know, after a workshop where people have breakthroughs, we share that with them that always remember one thing, you have changed. The people you know are still the people you know. They're doing what they're doing. And unless they're doing a similar body of work or have a similar commitment to doing the work that you're doing, you've changed. Don't make anybody else wrong because they're just who they're being. You're seeing them through a different set of filters because your perspective has changed, therefore your perception has changed. That is what we always have to anchor to, but that's where the discomfort lives and why we have the resistance.
- [32:49]
Francie
Well, certainly when you think about the holidays just passed, whether it was Thanksgiving or Christmas, and. And how many times I heard over the course of the last couple of months, it's like, oh, I'm so not looking forward to. God, do I. So not looking forward to seeing my so and so. Oh, if I have to do that one more time. And I remember listening at one point to a client and saying, you know, you don't have to go, right? Oh, yes, I do. Actually, you don't. And they actually never occurred to them. And so what came up was, so how do you say, have a courageous conversation. But how do I do that? And how do I do that knowing that that person's not probably going to take it very well? And knowing my reaction, I mean, I think of a couple that we worked with in SHIFT a little while ago that were struggling with some sibling and some parental issues. And, you know, every single situation is different. And for me, it's in my surrender and knowing that, you know, one of the biggest things I've learned in the last couple of months is emotions are inbound. They're not outbound. If I'm mad at someone, pissed off or judging or whatever, that's on me. They have no idea if I'm upset or I don't want to go to Christmas dinner because of that person will make me feel this well, that they can't. Because emotions are not outbound. They're inbound. So if that's when you think about if you don't want to do something, maybe there's a, you know, the New Year's party that you didn't want to go to and you went anyway. And then sometimes you have a great time, but other times you go and it's hell. So where do we start honoring ourselves and going, you know what, it's okay if I'm not like, you know, I'll take the hit. But ultimately that's the conversation that I have to have with myself and each person has to have with themselves. Because as much as we think the fact that I love you you don't feel that. You don't feel my love for you.
- [34:37]
Patrick
They do. It's not true.
- [34:39]
Francie
That doesn't work that way. You only feel it because of my actions, because love is an action. So if I was treating you like crap, you would go, I don't think she loves me. I go, no, no, I love you, but I've been treating you like crap.
- [34:49]
Patrick
No, I'd have to kick you out.
- [34:51]
Francie
You can't my house anyway, so leave it there. Emotions are inbound and as you go through into your next whether it's your goal, getting goal setting. I'm not a big resolution person as neither are you, but really take a look at how you want your life to feel. And I remember the first time saying that to clients and they go, well, what do you want to do? What do you did A goal setting. Goal setting. I want. Let's start with how do you want your life to feel in seven areas and break it down. How do you want your life to feel relationally? I want to feel supported. I want to feel. I want to feel loved. So that means I have to be loving. I want to feel supported, so I have to support work. I want to feel financially abundant. So I need to be financially abundant. It's not going to come from anyone or anywhere else. It has to start with me. And I mean that to me is such a gift. And I hope everyone that's listening has a glorious 2025 and leans into whatever it is there for you and sees the magic on the other side.
- [35:50]
Patrick
Beautiful. And stay tuned, pay attention, get subscribed, whatever it might be, and you will be included in our three session master classes virtual for free. Make 2025 oh thrive in 2025. And that's all I got. Stephanie, thank you.
- [36:12]
Francie
Thanks. That was fun.
- [36:15]
Stephanie Hanlon
Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review you and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions or questions you'd like answered, please email me@ceoaincanada.com that's C E O R E I N Canada.com I look forward to hearing from you. And until next time, Patrick goes.