Mindset Matters - Episode #181 - The Power of Letting Go: Stop Holding the Banana and Start Moving Forward

Summary

Podcast Summary: The Everyday Millionaire - Mindset Matters Episode #181: The Power of Letting Go: Stop Holding the Banana and Start Moving Forward Release Date: April 17, 2025

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Introduction to the Episode

In Episode #181 of The Everyday Millionaire podcast, hosts Patrick Hanlon and his wife, Stephanie (Francie) Hanlon, delve into the crucial role of mindset in wealth creation and personal growth. This episode, titled "The Power of Letting Go: Stop Holding the Banana and Start Moving Forward," uses a compelling metaphor to explore how holding onto certain beliefs and emotional baggage can hinder one's progress toward success and fulfillment.

The Banana Metaphor Explained

The central metaphor of the episode revolves around the concept of the "banana," which symbolizes the personal baggage or limiting beliefs individuals cling to, preventing them from moving forward. Patrick introduces this metaphor with an engaging parable:

Patrick Hanlon [01:27]: "Have you got a banana that you're carrying around that you don't want to let go of?"

He elaborates on the story of hunters trapping monkeys by enticing them with bananas, which then trap the monkeys because they refuse to release the fruit. This powerful image serves as a parallel to how individuals can become stuck by holding onto certain aspects of their past or ingrained beliefs.

Identifying Your Banana: Examples and Discussions

Patrick and Francie discuss various forms that these "bananas" can take in individuals' lives. These include:

• Identity and Roles:

  Francie Hanlon [05:30]: "If you can't let [go of your identity tied to your job or role], that would be the banana."

• Trauma and Past Experiences:

  Patrick Hanlon [07:42]: "Maybe you're carrying trauma from youth or a bad split in a relationship."

• Belief Systems and Mental Barriers:

  Francie Hanlon [05:30]: "Expectations, things that we define ourselves by... are like the banana for humans."

They emphasize that recognizing these bananas is the first step toward releasing them, allowing for personal and professional growth.

Personal Stories and Insights

A particularly insightful part of the episode involves Francie sharing her personal experience with receiving a prestigious award, which she initially doubted she deserved. This story serves as a real-life example of holding onto limiting beliefs:

Patrick Hanlon [19:54]: "What's the banana that you are hanging on to that you believe that you perhaps didn't deserve that award?"

Francie Hanlon [20:49]: "I don't think of myself as separate from you... Maybe the banana is that I always work in a team and don’t see myself as deserving an individual award."

This conversation highlights how even achievements can become sources of self-doubt if one clings to certain self-perceptions.

Overcoming Your Banana: Letting Go and Moving Forward

Patrick and Francie explore strategies for letting go of these bananas. They discuss the importance of self-awareness and conscious effort to release the emotional baggage that holds one back:

Patrick Hanlon [27:08]: "If you could just let go of the anger, have some forgiveness, have some compassion for yourself, and gently let go of that banana so you can slip your hand out of that hole and move on..."

Francie Hanlon [28:50]: "Our life is amazing, so why not think about this or better."

They advocate for shifting perspectives from holding onto the past to embracing opportunities for growth, emphasizing that letting go leads to increased clarity and momentum in one's journey toward becoming an Everyday Millionaire.

Conclusion and Key Takeaways

The episode concludes with a reinforcement of the key message: identifying and releasing the bananas we hold onto is essential for personal and financial success. Patrick challenges listeners to introspect:

Patrick Hanlon [27:06]: "What banana are you hanging on to? Think about the bananas. Think about what you're hanging on to. Let go."

Francie adds a practical example from her own life, showing how small acts of letting go can lead to significant personal improvements:

Francie Hanlon [31:00]: "I can delay gratification or give myself a chance to fast or give myself a chance to do something... Maybe that's also a bit of a banana."

Key Takeaways:

• Self-Awareness: Recognize the limiting beliefs and emotional baggage (bananas) that hinder your progress.
• Letting Go: Actively work to release these bananas through forgiveness, compassion, and changing your perspective.
• Growth Mindset: Embrace discomfort as a sign of growth, shifting focus from past limitations to future possibilities.
• Personal Responsibility: Acknowledge that you are responsible for your life’s direction and the energy you project into the world.

By addressing and releasing these bananas, listeners are encouraged to move forward unencumbered, paving the way for achieving their dreams and living their best lives.

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Notable Quotes:

• Patrick Hanlon [27:06]: "What banana are you hanging on to? Think about the bananas. Think about what you're hanging on to. Let go."
• Francie Hanlon [28:50]: "Our life is amazing, so why not think about this or better."

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Listeners are encouraged to reflect on their own bananas and take actionable steps toward letting go, fostering a mindset that supports continuous growth and the achievement of millionaire status through everyday actions and decisions.

Transcript

[Patrick Hanlon]

Foreign.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Welcome to this episode of the Everyday Millionaire Mindset Matters podcast where I'm joined by my wife, Olympic mental performance coach Stephanie Hanlon. Francie. In these episodes, Stephanie and I have a conversation about the different aspects of what we refer to as Mindset matters because we believe that for those who are awake, we are living in and through the most impactful time in history. Your view of the world is the filter for how you will experience the evolution and changing dynamics of it. Our intention is to provide you with ideas, nutritious food for thought, and some tools that you can use to help you in being your greatest self and living your best life. Listen in, Enjoy.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Hey, folks. Welcome back to this episode of Mindset Matters where we challenge old thinking, explore new perspectives, and help you design a life that aligns with who you truly are meant to be. Stephanie.

[Francie]

Hey, hon.

[Patrick Hanlon]

How are you?

[Francie]

I'm good. I'm a little tired, a little jet lagged. Super fired up about this episode, though.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, I'm wondering if you're a little tired and jet lagged because you've been maybe carrying a little extra baggage. You've been carrying some things around. I'm thinking, have you got a banana that you're carrying around that you don't want to let go of?

[Francie]

A banana.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, maybe an issue. I know, just a weak intro, but listen, we're talking about what banana are you hanging on to? And let me give it a context right away so we can get right to work on this particular episode and we're gonna get caught up. How does that sound?

[Francie]

That sounds amazing. I'm super curious about this banana thing.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, here we go. So the story is. It is a metaphor or parable, depending on how you want to look at it. But ultimately, you know, many, many years ago, there were hunters that used to go hunting for monkeys. And the idea would be they would capture these monkeys and then they would sell them and they would go off the circuses or use this food or whatever they were hunting them for. But ultimately it was about how they caught these monkeys. And what they used to do was drill a hole in the side of a hill or a mountain that was just big enough for those monkeys to kind of squeeze their hands in, you know, so they'd put them in, be able to get them in there. And what they did to attract the monkeys to do that was they put a banana in the hole. But guess what? When the monkey grabbed the banana, he then had to clench the banana. And of course, that would create a fist, like, you know, holding on To. And then all of a sudden, he couldn't get his hand out of the hole and he was trapped. Or she, whatever, the monkey was trapped. And until they let go of the banana, they can't get their hand out. But guess what? They wouldn't let go of the banana. And so the hunters would just walk up and capture the monkeys, force them to let go of the banana, and they would be shipped off in cages. So what the hell has a story got to do with anything?

[Francie]

Well, what's our banana?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, that's the thing. What is your banana? You know, so we have often said, you know, we reflect on our thoughts and we reflect and we think about what we think about. You know, it's being aware. So the question is what it is. It's a metaphor for life. It's a metaphor for what we as human beings doing the best we can, being the mere mortals as we are, is what are we hanging on to? What is the banana that we hang on to that we refuse to let go? That is stopping us from being the best version of our limited self, from having the relationship, the success, the career, the business, whatever it might be. The life that we want is sometimes because we're hanging on to some damn banana, Some old story, some belief system, some trauma, and we don't let go. So we're trapped. We have to let go of the banana. So we haul all this stuff, we all, you know, and the next thing you know, we can't get unstuck until we let some of this stuff go, which means we have to be aware of what the hell we're hanging on to. How's that for opening?

[Francie]

Oh, wow. When I think about it, and I think about, you know, the people that I've worked with, even myself, of what I've not been willing to let go of to move forward, you think about relationships, friendships, ideologies, ideologies, expectations, things that we define ourselves by. That's kind of like the banana for humans. It's like I always see, I. I'm seeing right now is that as I'm working with people, there's a place they stop. You know, some people will stop in the ideology of the vaccine or the politics or the. There's a place where people stop and I think that's their banana. And if you're not willing to let go of the banana, you can't see the other side or you can't see opportunities or you can't see something that might shift your perception, right? But over the last five years, I've really seen a lot of people hang on to a certain banana that gives them identity or maybe it gives them security. I don't know. What's your thoughts?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, no, I think you're getting to it. So let's give a couple of examples of what could be the banana that we hang on to. So, you know, you use the word identity. So certainly we've witnessed, and I think to some degree, a little bit at the effect of as we've kind of aged and gone on in our life and we transition into this next phase of our life being senior citizens. Ah, cracks me up. Anyways, wait, not you.

[Francie]

Not me you.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Not you, Just me. My point is this, is that, you know, as we've seen others transition, for example, out of their careers, out of their businesses, then who are they if they're not that? So there's a lot of identity attached to it. So if you can't let that go, if who you think you are is the job that you had, the career you had, the business that you owned, the role or the title that you had, for example, that would be the banana. And if you can't let that go, or if you're really attached to it, it is going to get in your way. That would be one example. Another example is, you know, as a child, you have a trauma, whatever that trauma is. It doesn't have to be dramatic, by the way. It's dramatic for you as a child, so, you know, it doesn't have to be extreme. But we have that trauma where maybe a parent told us we weren't good enough. We had that conversation on the last podcast. Are we having a story about where we're not good enough? You know, I'm a loser. I always screw up. I always make mistakes. If it wasn't for bad luck, I wouldn't have any luck at all. These are all stories that we hang onto, but those are the bananas that can get in our way of letting go of that particular story and then moving forward in our life. And that could be around relationships, career, jobs, businesses. It could be around money. You know, what is the old story? You know that, well, money doesn't grow in trees, on trees. So it's that lack mentality. So if that's the banana that you have, there's never enough to go around. There's not enough money, there's not enough. So there is a banana that you're hanging on to that's quite likely getting in your way. That's some examples.

[Francie]

Interesting when you think about it. You know, if you Think about it and turn it personal. Like, is there a banana you hang onto?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Patrick, you know something? That's such a great question. Yes, I think there has been in the past. There probably is right now. And I'm always kind of looking for my blind spots, but they are blind spots, so they're hard to find and they're hard to see. So this goes back to if I'm being challenged, if I'm feeling challenged and I'm feeling like I either want to quit or I get into the story where I'm maybe not just smart enough, I'm not rich enough, I'm not enough of something that is a banana. And I look at that and go, okay, where did that come from? Why do I believe that? And then I have to bust that belief. So the first part of that, though, is you have to think about what you're thinking about and bring your attention to it so that you're conscious of it. So bring the subconscious into the conscious, and then you can let stuff go. I can collapse stuff pretty fast. And once I'm aware of that belief system I have, and just because of what I've got and what we've got going on for what's next for us, I'm really being uber sensitive to it and trying to make sure that I don't have a banana that I'm not letting go of.

[Francie]

Yeah, I think about all the bananas that I've had over the years that, you know, whether it was identity or who I was being or, you know, I'm the. You know. It was funny, a couple of years ago when we moved downtown Vancouver, I ran into some hockey players that I'd worked with, and they're. And this is their. They said to me, are you still working? How's the Oilers? I'm like, I haven't worked for the Oilers in 25 years. But in their mind, the banana that I was in their memory was that I was the Oiler skating coach. Isn't that bizarre? So I guess you're a banana. Maybe in somebody else's life, too, right?

[Patrick Hanlon]

No, no, no. I don't think that's a great example. No, I don't think so.

[Francie]

I. I do. I do, because I. I remember the feeling that I got when they said that. And I realized there was a moment that I still hung on to that identity for myself.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Oh, you hung on to it. But that's.

[Francie]

Yeah, but I wouldn't have. I wouldn't have attracted that conversation had I not had that little bit of identity piece in that Even though I've been letting that go for, you know, a hundred years.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Oh, so you still had a chunk of banana that you were hanging on to run. The whole banana was just a chunk of banana. So, you know, through this all is, it really comes back to what is the baggage that we carry around. And that baggage can be trauma from youth, it could be a bad split in a relationship. And, you know, there is something in your mind that it could be anger, it could be not wanting to forgive that person. It could be blaming others. It's still something that you're hanging on to. You know, forgiveness is a big one. You know, there is that phrase I hope people can get this is that, you know, no forgiveness, as in no forgiveness, no peace. As in no peace, no forgiveness, no peace. And then there is no forgiveness K n o w forgiveness, no k n o w peace. So no forgiveness, no peace, no forgiveness, no peace. So if we cannot forgive. And this is something that is really interesting around that particular banana that people hang on to, you know, the remain anger. I can never forgive you. I can never listen. We don't forgive others for them. We give forgive others for ourselves. Being angry at somebody and walking around pissed off at the world about something somebody did to you, again, that old metaphor, not metaphorical cliche, right? It's like drinking poison and expecting the other person to die.

[Francie]

Right.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Ultimately, the lack of forgiveness, our anger, the banana that we hang on to, is toxic. That is the dis. Ease that makes us ill, whether that be physically, mentally, emotionally. Yet the person who we're not forgiving, we're not letting go, is not even at the effect of it. They don't care. They don't even. They may not even know you're angry.

[Francie]

I know. And that's the thing, right? When you're pissed off at somebody, do they even know about it? Are you just holding that anger in your body and they've just moved on, you know, they don't have the banana. It's your banana.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, totally. So that's another example. So the point of it is that when we carry a lot of. And maybe we have far more than one banana, you know, maybe we've got a lot of bananas to let go of. So the point of it is that it comes back to what we look at in terms of, okay, so we're trying to be the best version of our limited selves. We are trying to improve and to grow, but we have to sometimes sit back and go, what is getting in my way? Without, you know, and knowing that you're 100% responsible for what's going on in your life. Your life is a reflection of not only what you do or don't do, the decisions you make or the decisions you don't make. It is a reflection of the energy that you're putting out there that your perception of the world. Because then of course, as you perceive the world is how you enter and act within that world. So if you see it as harsh, everybody's out to get me, everybody's out to rip me off or work me over. Then of course you go into it with a whole different view of the world where versus the world is there and the universe is there to support me, to show up for me, to provide for me, to support me. You know, there is a whole different way if you're entering or operating in the world from that perspective versus the dark and everybody's out to get me.

[Francie]

Well, think about the story we heard about the twins that were born. And you know, they were raised with the same family and one of them ended up being a high powered lawyer, very successful, and one of them was a criminal. And you go back and you ask them about their upbringing and they tell you the story. They were twins, they had the same family, same mother, same father, same experiences. Yet one had the experience that life was against them and he became a criminal. And the other one had the life was for me and he became whatever he became, high powered and successful. So we don't ever know what story or what perception we're having and is it really true?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, let me, let me finish that story. Let me add in the details of that story. Okay, so the details of that story are that the brothers, they were twin brothers, their father was an alcoholic who beat their father or beat their, their mother and the kids. One of them went on to be a high powered lawyer, the other went on to be a bum, a criminal. And so when they were being interviewed, the guy interviewing the guy in the street said, here you are, you know, you're at one point you're really successful, now you're an alcoholic. You're, you know, you're divorced, like, what happened? And he goes, well, when I was a kid growing up, you know, my father was an alcoholic. He used to beat us as kids, used to beat my mother because how else would you expect me to be? And the interviewer says, wow, I can really understand that. I get it. You know, that really makes sense. And then he asked the high, the other brother, who is a high profile lawyer, very successful, great family, married Many years, amazing kids, the whole story. And he goes, so how is it that you've achieved all this? And he goes, well, you've got to be honest with me. You know, my dad was an alcoholic. He was a drunk. He used to beat my mom, used to beat me. And same story, you know, it's exactly the same story. And he goes, so, you know, given that, I mean, who else could I be? You know, how else could I show up? I just committed to never, ever being my father.

[Francie]

Wow. So it's either I want to be that or I want to be the opposite of that.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Exactly.

[Francie]

Right. Wow. Wow. You said that way better than me.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, you short circuited the story.

[Francie]

So that's my. That's my jam, though.

[Patrick Hanlon]

And at the same time, my camera glitch.

[Francie]

So anyways, it's okay. Nobody on Spotify will know your camera glitch.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Nobody will know. Okay? So the point of it is that, you know, perception, perspective how we see the world. But first we have to think about what we think about, you know, really and not make it wrong. Or, you know, you don't have to go too deep and analyze it. You know, we have to. Although we have to question our belief systems and is it true? And then we start to realize that we're hanging on to some things from the past again. You know, we gave those examples of somebody slighted you, somebody ripped you off, you had a bad breakup, whatever the story is that you have, and you're hanging onto it, and it's that banana that you're not letting go. And because you're not prepared to let it go or you're not knowingly hanging onto it, it's what's getting in your way from moving forward. It actually creates the ceiling of limitation. Because here was the thing, is that the monkeys, when they reach deep into the hole, they could grab the banana. But when they just got to the edge, okay, if I could just. Oh, I just can't quite break free. All they had to do is let go of that banana, you know, that's all they had to do. And they would get to the edge and they couldn't. So that is really the awareness today, you know, in this particular conversation. So where does it show up for you? Where does it show up often? Maybe even with the athletes that you work with, you know, Let me share a story. This is about you, by the way, so I hope I'm not too offside, but you recently received a really prestigious. Or. Now, having said that, what the award is doesn't matter. It. It's a very prestigious award, and we'll be able to talk about it when we're able to talk about it.

[Francie]

Right after me. Yeah, it's not. It's an embargo.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah. So nobody knows. You can't tell anybody that you want it. And my camera glitched again. And I'm really getting frustrated. Hang on.

[Francie]

It's okay. But I like that picture. You look handsome.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, I'll tell a little bit of story of you about you having won recently a prestigious award. Now we can't announce it. Got it. We'll be able to talk about it next month. Right now, it's hold. Do not make any announcements. You've won the award. You've got to fly out of country to receive the award because it's a big deal. Cool. Okay. But let's tell the story because I think it's kind of cute. You get noticed that you've won the award. You send me an email. You're away, you're out of town. When you get it, you send me an email and go, do you think this is spam?

[Francie]

I did.

[Patrick Hanlon]

I respond, no, this is a legitimate email. You literally reached out to a couple other people going, did you make a mistake?

[Francie]

I don't think this is for me. That's what I said. I'm pretty sure this is not for me.

[Patrick Hanlon]

That just cracks me up. Okay, so it took you like three days before you finally did enough fact checking to realize that, oh, this is really. This award is for me. And you're questioning it. You're going, how the hell did that happen? Now I get it to the degree I get it, you know, but seriously, you know, so what's the banana? Here's the question. What's the banana that you are hanging on to that you actually believe that you perhaps didn't deserve that award? When everybody around you sees that you deserve the award and it wasn't just handed out like it wasn't the lucky draw or you didn't have enough. You didn't have the most people nominate you. It was like a legit. You did it. You accomplished it. The people around you went, nobody deserves it more. As a matter of fact, one of your counterparts that you mentioned it to, what did they say to you? Yeah, that totally makes sense. Got it. You got it. Good for you. Congratulations. It took you three days. So what's the banana?

[Francie]

Okay, that's really mean.

[Patrick Hanlon]

No, it's not meant to be mean.

[Francie]

I honestly didn't believe. I thought it was a Mistake, like a genuinely, like an honest mistake. They send it to the wrong person. There's no way that I could be the person that they're giving the award to because I work on a team. Stop, stop. I work on a team. I'm not an individual. I don't. This is not something that I would ever even think I would be nominated for.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, got it. So great. So let's do a little work. What's the banana that you're hanging on to that you believe that you don't deserve that award?

[Francie]

I didn't think I didn't deserve it. First of all, I didn't know that award existed, that it was a thing.

[Patrick Hanlon]

I get all that. But you received the award, you got noticed, and it took you three days to fact check to, you know, finally say, okay, oh, I guess they didn't make a mistake. So what's the banana that says you didn't think you deserve the award?

[Francie]

That's a good question.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, you got to ask yourself that question. I'm putting on my coach hat right now.

[Francie]

I don't want to say it's not worthy because I know I totally get. It's not that I'm not worthy. I totally get that what I do is magical and is worthy. I guess I just never thought that I would be, you know, isolated and be given the award on my own because I always work in a team like you and my. You and me. Like, I don't look at myself as separate from you like you and I are. You know, we got this. We're a team. And Ice Academy of Montreal, we're a team. Quantum Speed, we're a team. Pro skate, we're a team. Like, I don't think of myself as separate. So maybe the banana. Okay, good question. What's the banana I'm hanging on to? That's a good question, hun.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Okay, well, think about it. And, and, and maybe, maybe not, you know, but I, I just think that you are, you know, humble and going, gosh, really? I don't know if I deserve this. I think there's some humility in it, and I think that's reasonable. I. That's the nature of who you are. There was no expectation of it. What's interesting about it is that you didn't even know the award existed. Like, you didn't even know there was a thing called that. And it turns out that there is, and it's very prestigious and it's really cool. And so, you know, maybe there's just that moment of humility. Maybe there's no banana that you're hanging onto. But I would suggest that maybe there is. I would be, you know, I would be pondering that. I would encourage you to do that.

[Francie]

I will, I will. And I don't want to actually minimize that because I know people that I look, I look at and go, how can you not see how great you are? How can you not see what, you know, you're being acknowledged for something that you've done and you haven't even tried to do it, but you do it because it's your calling or your passion. You're being acknowledged. Don't step over that. So I get that I can say that to somebody else, but when it's me, I was like, really? Really? So let me, let me sit with that. I, I don't want to, I don't wanna step over the fact that what it's making me feel right now, it's kind of a little embarrassing. But at the same time, the same time, the fact that you actually automatically go, of course you won this award. Of course we did.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Of course.

[Francie]

Right.

[Patrick Hanlon]

I'm happy for you. I'm very proud of you. I'm happy for you. I think it's great and it's well deserved. And, you know, you're a, you know, 30 year overnight success. So I think it's fantastic, you know, so, and, and I just, you know, I'm just hoping that, you know, your, your, your pay rate goes up and you're going to be able to support me in the life.

[Francie]

That's what Cheryl said too. She says, oh my God, thank God her rate is going to go up. Thanks, Cheryl.

[Patrick Hanlon]

There you go. So, okay, so we digress. So at the end of the day, you know, as we go through life, there are certain things that I believe, you know, happen to us, experiences that we have. And there's scars, there's war wounds, there's, you know, some version of ptsd, you know, of, you know, twice burnt or once burnt, twice shy, there's all sorts of things. But if we're starting to do the work of awareness and thinking about what we think about and looking at ourselves and taking responsibility for the reflection we have of our life, all of these things can become bananas that we hang on to. Old stories, old wounds, the PTSD of some traumatic event that's gone on that we're not willing to look at, whatever it might be, but understanding. So for example, if you've gone through a bad breakup, you know, next time you're going into a relationship, you're going to be a little guarded. And, you know, maybe the person that you're, you know, is really smitten with you, but you're being all guarded. Well, it's because you're hanging on to an old banana, you know, banana from an old relationship where you got burnt and where you. Oh, I don't know if I can trust all this. That would be an example. But those are pretty, you know, normal life occurrences. You know, I look at myself and mistakes that I've made or partners that I've had that didn't work out, you know, that you go into it, you learn from those things, but you also get a little bit guarded. And if you hang on to it really tight, like the old story, if you hang on to it really tight, it will stop you from moving forward in some regard or letting go of something so that you can move on to a new hill. You know, right now you're kind of parked right there, and until you let go of that banana, you're not moving, and then you're trapped.

[Francie]

Well, think about it. You know, hanging onto that banana means the banana or the story or the trauma or the, the guilt or the shame is more important than moving into the unknown or to the uncertainty. And that's, I think, what really, what I heard is that for me, like, when I let go of the banana of I'm not worthy, it's like, oh my gosh, what am I worthy for? Or you think about, you know, looking in the past or people who are hanging on to the story. The identity of who they used to be is more important than who they can become. And I think that's when I. You know, it's funny when I think about our. Our tagline about clarity equals velocity and living your best life, it's like, how do we know how to live our best life? Because we're many people, and me included, are hanging onto the bananas of where we were successful, which can be really limiting because we don't know what's on the other side of letting go of that old story, that. That old identity or that freaking banana.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, and, and there, there's the thing about it, right, is the banana that we're hanging on to is something that's happened into the past in the past. And so the past is gone. So we then are making decisions today based on some memory of the history of what went on before, which then we use to validate what is messed up today. So the past is a way for us to validate the current or the present or we drag stuff from the future into the present. And of course, the future isn't here. It's just a story of what we see in the future. So we coordinate. We triangulate the past story with the future fear. And then we triangulate it to validate that. Oh, yeah, no, gosh, I didn't deserve this award.

[Francie]

Right? And I have to hang on to the banana.

[Patrick Hanlon]

And they hang on to that darn banana. The question for our listener today is what banana are you hanging on to? Or banana, plural? Think about the bananas. Think about what you're hanging on to. That. If you could just let go. Let go of the anger, have some forgiveness, have some compassion for yourself, some empathy for yourself, and gently let go of that banana so you can slip your hand out of that hole and move on from where you are today. That would be my guidance.

[Francie]

Yeah. You know what? It's really insightful. This whole monkey and banana thing is that we have one life, you know, and if we're going to identify with who we used to be or how hot we were in high school or when we were successful then or whatever, and we can't let go of that banana and that identity or that success or that reason for being, then I think we're really limiting ourselves. And I think that to me right now, what's going on in the world is if we just soften, you know, and loosen our hand and let go of that banana and trust that, you know. You know, the line that I'm using right now when I get, you know, insecure or I'm frustrated or I'm scared. The line that I'm using right now is this or better. This, because our life is amazing. This or better, which doesn't allow me to go back to the past or hang on to the banana or drag shit from the past. I go, you know, our life is amazing, so why not think about this? Or better.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, there's a. There's a. There's a question. I don't know if it relates, but it kind of popped into my head, so I'll say it. Which is around the line of, you know, are we fighting for what we don't want or are we fighting for what we want or fighting for what.

[Francie]

We have or fighting for what we want?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Listen, I think ultimately, human nature, you know, the mere mortals that we are, we're always fighting to be comfortable.

[Francie]

Oh, ouch.

[Patrick Hanlon]

We are. We're just always seeking comfort.

[Francie]

I hate that.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Yeah, I know. But that's what it is. And so we, you know, we have to consciously lean into the discomfort of growth. But that goes back to the question, are we fighting to make sure we don't have that? We have what we are, we have. Are we fighting for what we want or are we fighting for what we don't want? And it's like, I know it messes with your brain, doesn't it? But it's a great question to ponder. And I think it all comes back to what we hang on to as well.

[Francie]

Okay, so let me just say this one thing before you go. Think about hanging onto the banana and thinking about food and being comfortable. So the last couple of months, I've been doing intermittent fasting and trying to not eat until at least noon or 1:00. That creates discomfort. So I think about it and I go, you know what? I would rather have, you know, something in the morning or whatever. We were Nemeton this weekend and I had some scrambled eggs and it was, was so good. But when I come home, I go back into a pattern of, you know what? I can delay gratification or give myself a chance to fast or give myself a chance to do something. And I'm wondering if that's the banana story too, is that you're also afraid to not be. To be starving or to be hungry or to be uncomfortable. Maybe that's also in a bit of banana, right? But when I'm home, I don't have an issue to get up in the morning and not eat till noon or 1 o'clock because it's like, I'm not afraid. Does that make sense?

[Patrick Hanlon]

Well, it's all worth taking a look at, isn't it? You know, and asking yourself that question. But yeah, it's the story you're telling yourself. What are you hanging on to? So I think we're going to call that a wrap.

[Francie]

A banana wrap.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Banana wrap. A banana wrap. Stephanie. Thank you.

[Francie]

Oh my God, that was so fun.

[Stephanie Hanlon]

Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any, any comments, suggestions or questions you'd like answered, please email [e-mail] that's CEO E I N Canada.com I look forward to hearing from you. And until next time, Patrick.

[Patrick Hanlon]

Oh.