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The Everyday Millionaire and Mindset Matters Podcast
TEDM – Kimberly Spencer – Claim Your Crown, Claim Your Sovereignty (Episode 206)
01:11:44
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- [00:04]
Patrick Franci
Hi there and welcome to the Everyday Millionaire podcast. My name is Patrick Franci and I am your host and I want to begin by saying thank you for listening. On this show I am having conversations with seemingly ordinary individuals who have achieved some amazing and extraordinary results in both their life and business. My intention is to inspire and help you learn and grow by having my guests share their journey of how they face and overcome their challenges, but also how they celebrate their many wins. And now let's get on with this show and have a conversation with today's guest. Kimberly Spencer is an award winning high performance coach, an Amazon bestselling author and the founder of crownyourself.com which is helping visionary leaders transform their self limiting stories, build their empires and stand out fearlessly and make the income and the impact they deserve. From her 10 plus year battle with bulimia to becoming a Certified Pilates Instructor, Miss Congeniality Multiple 6 figure business owner 5 times marathon runner 6 times Wago Health Activist Award nominee, Kimberly is absolute proof that it's better to make your own mold than to conform to someone else's. Her book, rule your body, how to dethrone food fears, take command of your health and Crown yourself debuted on January 2022. Kimberly has overcome adversity in the extreme and in every area of life and business. Growing up with an addict for a father, bulimia, sexual abuse, divorce, debt under earning, business buyouts, growing three businesses, birthing two babies, unexpectedly moving to Australia in the middle of a pandemic. Gosh. What she learned from each challenge is that ownership is essential. All self limiting beliefs are plagiarized, confidence is cultivated and the only way through fear is moving forward with faith, courage and vision. I can't stress enough how much fun I had in this conversation with Kimberly. Let's get this show started. Kimberly Spencer, welcome to the Everyday Millionaire podcast. Thanks for joining me.
- [02:39]
Kimberly Spencer
Thanks for having me Patrick. I'm so excited to be here.
- [02:42]
Patrick Franci
Me too. I just loved our pre recording conversation so we won't share that with listeners but it was really good. So Kimberly, I always like to open up because you know, as well written as your bio is it, I rarely find a bio that does justice to my guests. So I like to open up with, you know when somebody says to you Kimberly, what do you do? What's your answer to that question these days?
- [03:11]
Kimberly Spencer
So I transform people's stories. So I work in my coaching business for Crown Yourself. I transform their inner stories. What is the narrative that's going on inside their mindset to that's impeding their leadership goals. And then for our Communication Queens podcast guesting agency, we transform people's stories by taking their inner stories and putting them out into the world. And we work with the walking, transformationary transformation stories. We work the visionary leaders, revolutionaries, disruptors, people who have gone from tragedy to triumph, really phenomenal clients. And we get their voices heard so that they go from best kept secret to, oh my God, where has this person been all my life?
- [03:48]
Patrick Franci
Okay, so, you know, just listening to that, I have to say, it frightens me a little bit. And I'm trying to picture myself in that scenario. And it means that you have to be really clear about a number of things. So walk me through some of the process. Don't use me as an example, please. That would be way too much stress. But give me an example perhaps of a client or somebody that you would work with and how does that start to unfold and how do you. You draw that out of people? And why did they approach you to begin with?
- [04:24]
Kimberly Spencer
So when it comes to coaching, it really is looking at their decision making strategy and what's blocking them from actually making those fully embodied hell yes. Decisions that they go for and truly go for that big goal. And a lot of times with a lot of clients that I've worked with, it comes to that they had some sort of loss, some sort of trauma, some sort of tragedy, something either in their childhood or with a past business. My clients are typically seasoned entrepreneurs, and so they had some sort of failure, they got knocked down, and it's now reevaluating their identity to pull them forward. On the podcast guessing side, it really is looking at their story as a holistic piece, as a part of their brand, of what they're creating. Because people buy from people that they know like and trust. And so we have a signature formula that we created that helps people pull their story so it really identifies and connects with their ideal customer avatar and also leverages their unique angle. Because I tell all my clients, you may have a health coach who works with the same clientele that you do, but your story will be different than hers and that it's a story that is what makes every single one of us unique.
- [05:36]
Patrick Franci
This is really interesting for me. So when you talk about coaching, let's just say that I'm the individual that approaches you and I go, something I've had this, whatever, this incident, this trauma, this thing happened to me in life, now I'm in the process of rebuilding. So what I heard you say is that it's not necessarily that you fell down and you picked yourself up and then went on to create amazing things. It's you fell down, you're picking yourself up and you're committed to reinventing and recreating or rebuilding maybe. And so I'm approaching you and I'm going, Kimberly, you know, this is what's happened in my life, whatever that might be, that was quite dramatic, damaging, whatever that might be. I want to, or I need to rebrand, reinvent, and you can help me do that. Am I hearing you correctly?
- [06:32]
Kimberly Spencer
Yeah. You know what's really interesting, Patrick, is most people don't think it's that initial trauma or shock trauma, because especially they're so resilient. If you've built multiple businesses, there is a resilience that is cultivated and it's mostly the frontline problem of something's going off with my productivity, like why am I not producing or getting the results that I wanted or that I used to get? Because the hardest person, like comparison is a thief of joy. Yes, but comparison, when you're comparing yourself to who you have been and how you have performed, especially if you were performing at a top tier level and you got knocked down a few pegs or like hit rock bottom, that is a very challenging comparison because you're comparing yourself to something that is a past identity of who you have been and so you know what you're capable of. And so you're fighting against your own capability. And it's even sometimes more frustrating in that space. But a lot of times most people only are seeing your initial circumstantial problems that are facing.
- [07:29]
Patrick Franci
You know, you said something earlier. You use the word that I think is I familiar with. I've often dealt with people myself in kind of the space that I sometimes hang out in. And that is the loss of identity. Now in the context that you're presenting it, it's, you know, if you were a top performing something and something occurred and all of a sudden you lose identity and. Or you want to disassociate from that previous identity, whatever that might be. But the point is that wandering around with a loss of identity is really challenging. I think it's challenging for anybody. I was about to say I think it's most challenging for men, but I don't think that's necessarily true. That's just what showed up for me. But that reinvention or that loss of identity and finding yourself. And the reason I say that is because over the years I've worked with individuals who have sold their business and realized after they're gone. After they're out of that business, they're going, okay, you know, who am I if I'm not that well? They enjoy the moments in time where, okay, I've got a check and I've got money in the bank and I don't have to work as hard. There is a identity that you would lose with that. And then, you know, I'm looking at even this phase of my life, you know, I turned 65 several months ago, and I'm going, and I'm not attached to. I have no story around. I want to retire because that's just not who I am. I'll work hard and do what I love to do. And for me, it's like more about, okay, how do I do more of what I love to do? How do I continue to live my purpose and my values have an impact, et cetera. But there is a part of it which you're letting go of maybe some former identity. And so for me, that's a topic or that's how I see it. But you're in the business. Is that a thing for you that you're dealing with or that you're seeing show up with your clients?
- [09:28]
Kimberly Spencer
Yeah, yeah. And especially not surprisingly, but kind of surprisingly with a lot of millennials right now, because the whole world has flipped on its head in the stories that we were told of certain levels of success. And you do X, Y and Z, and you'll have certain level of success by the time you're in your mid to late 30s. And some people either have achieved that, but they're still struggling to pay off college loan debt or with their business, or they're going through their second, third, fifth reinvention. Like identity is a really beautiful topic that I love to speak on and that I coach on, because it comes down to deciding who do you want to be. And I think that that's so often we are making that decision based on our past experiences, when not necessarily is that the person who needs to be showing up for the future goals of what you want to achieve? And so it's my job as a coach, is to bridge that gap as far as where are you now, who are you being now? And who do you need to be in order to be the person who has the things that you want to have.
- [10:32]
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- [11:06]
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- [11:10]
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- [11:17]
Kimberly Spencer
Do and be.
- [11:18]
Patrick Franci
You know, I love this conversation because it kind of speaks to my area of interest and to some degree of expertise. Not what you're doing, but helping people really get to understand. You know, first off, identity is one part of it. But I'm often having conversations and part of the work that my wife and I have done over the years is about are you living true to your values? Do you know even what your values are? Are they yours or are they, you know, societal values? Are they your parents values? So are you living in integrity with your highest calling, your highest values? And, and you understand that because for me, until you understand what your values are, it's hard to live into that. You're always searching for something that lights you up. So that's, that's part of it. But then you take it to a whole next level, which is, you know, taking that and creating a identity around it or creating a brand around it. I'm curious. You know, Kimberly, I'm a little surprised than not surprised when you talk about a demographic being millennials. And I guess it's really confusing times and the shift. So before I go to that question.
- [12:33]
Kimberly Spencer
Millennials and Gen Xers are my biggest clients right now.
- [12:35]
Patrick Franci
No kidding.
- [12:36]
Kimberly Spencer
In the coaching side. Yeah.
- [12:38]
Patrick Franci
So they're searching for who they are. They're searching for some form of who the hell am I? Why am I here? I'm lost. I'm confused. I know I'm capable of more. I feel some degree of possibilities in me. I don't even know what that means. It's just a feeling. Is that a fair assessment or.
- [12:58]
Kimberly Spencer
Yeah, yeah. That's why I titled my TED talk Becoming a Warrior for Possibility, because it's really is what. And I love that you touched on values, Patrick, because it's one of my favorite conversations because so often when we have the values conversation, a lot of values are superficial. They're superimposed or what I call plagiarized programming. They're what you were taught that you should have, that you should believe, that you should. All the shoulds of life shoulding all over yourself. Yes, shoulding all over yourself. Right. And no one likes to live a life built where should is covered, where they're just covered in shoulds. And from that space of like the values, you will know what your values really are by just looking at your schedule. Like you can say you value being a family man, but if you're spending 60 hours a week at the office, that's not really an accurate representation of your values. You will know the values that you actually have by where you're spending and giving your precious life force energy your time too.
- [13:57]
Patrick Franci
You know, you get me going on this, I'm not going to go on this because there is a. So I will share with you because this is a body work that we also do. And I, and I really want to get to the next part of my question in this topic but you know, to your point, people get confused about what, I don't know what my values are. You know, I don't even know what that question means. Are they my core values? Are they driving values? So for many years my wife and I and many years ago we worked with Dr. John Demartini who's really kind of of an expert in universal law and values and has a whole thing around it. And you know, when we were doing our own work around discovering our values many years ago, it was, you know, really, I say it, it was simple, but it's not. But it is easy to identify. What do you talk about? What do you spend your time doing? What do you spend your money on? What do you surround yourself with? Pretty good place to start of what you truly value. Now if you don't, then you can call that into question and that's all great. So values is such an important conversation, especially when it comes to do I want to do. And then people understanding that values do change over time. You know, you're a young mom and you or you've got, you know, children that are right now, that's a high value for you as they get older. It's not that you love them less, but they kind of, okay, they're going down the list of things that you're going to be worried about or concerned about.
- [15:20]
Kimberly Spencer
Yeah, they'll take less time.
- [15:22]
Patrick Franci
Yeah, they take less time. Right. But so let me ask you this question. So you go through this process, you help people define, define kind of what drives them. Are they living to true to their values? I get stuck maybe in the next question which is there's a how part of this equation. Now I hate to get stuck in the hows but as you as a coach, I'm coming to you, and I going, I'm lost. I'm confused. I've lost kind of touch with who I am, what I want to do, or I don't know the answer to that. I just feel like I'm not living and being my best self. Help me. So then you go, okay, let's go through this process. And you have a process in your coaching to do. And then you. Then I say, okay, well, now what? How do I do? You then take it to the next level and go, here's how you brand yourself. Here's a model. Here's how you can do what you want to do. Is it mostly entrepreneurs? Give me a little more on that one.
- [16:23]
Kimberly Spencer
Yeah. I work 80% with entrepreneurs. I have had several clients pivot from corporate into entrepreneurship. Unknowingly, unexpectedly, they just made those pivots and shifts. But I think with that, the development of the personal brand, whether you're in corporate or you're an entrepreneur, is essential. And to have a personal brand means it's that the first word is you have to be a person. Like, you have to know who you are as a person, which comes down deep into the core work that I do around identity, around understanding. And once you strip yourself of the illusions of scarcity, of anger, sadness, fear, guilt, shame, and all the negative emotions that kind of hold us back, which is where I use a process called timeline therapy, which combines NLP and hypnosis. And then you discover those values of who you are and who people think you are as well. We do a360 analysis with my clients is like, what? Really? How there's who you think you are. There's how everyone else perceives you.
- [17:23]
Patrick Franci
Sure.
- [17:24]
Kimberly Spencer
And are. Are they congruent? Because congruence is a huge piece of understanding. Are you actually operating in integrity with yourself? Like, you may, like, like I said, you may say that your family is your top value, but if you're not spending time with your family or quality time and building Legos and really getting on the floor with your kids is like, oh, God, I don't know how to do this. Like, I'm not sure how to play well, then there's. There's a disconnect with your values and how you're showing up as a leader in your family. And so when you look at that and you look like. I look at the subconscious structure of how people are operating, what they say they want, how their. What their language is actually saying that they want. So there's a Difference between looking at the content of what someone's saying and the context of what someone's saying. And when you see the context, I can see the meaning that they're creating behind all of the. The shoulds that they've had in their life. And so then it does merge into. Once they've kind of figured and sorted that self out and got it and they've got themselves on a path and we have a plan that we enact with high performance with my queen bee coaching curriculum, then we go into pivoting them over to the agency side, where then we look at how can you market yourself, how can you get yourself visible so that you and your story that's now in alignment is actually standing out, is getting noticed and is being something that can be leveraged into greater business assets.
- [18:47]
Patrick Franci
You're just so swinging, singing to the choir right now. I love this. I mean, my purpose and my purpose statement, my tagline for me personally and has been for many years is be your greatest self. Live your best life. And for me, that's where I make all my decisions from. It's how I have these kinds of conversations because I'm always looking at that narrative for me. And so when you start talking and we start having conversation around values and, you know, how we achieve and live that life, you know, we talk about, you know, integrity. That father that says, you know, family's my highest values because he lives in the world of, well, that's what I should be saying. And then. But isn't actually living it. He may not even be aware of that family may be his highest value. And where he's really misaligned is that he's not living true to his highest values. So there's always that dis. Ease or that unease of going, ah, it doesn't feel right. I know I'm not being true to who I really am. I could be better. So there's a lot of guilt. And then back to the conversation of integrity.
- [19:52]
Kimberly Spencer
100%.
- [19:54]
Patrick Franci
What is your. When you talk about integrity from. And I'll share just briefly, my definition is that I don't believe we can only ever be out of integrity with us ourselves, full stop. That's my story, and I have a definition of it is, you know, integrity is who you are when nobody's looking. So when you look at integrity, do you have. And people have different variations of that and. Or they have a totally different variation of integrity in terms of how they describe it. Do you have a definition that is a big departure from that or a Departure from what I just shared, it's.
- [20:30]
Kimberly Spencer
Not too big of a departure. It's like it is showing up and be. And operating in alignment and being and being in that aligned state where you are operating as your best self. I think where I see people get out of alignment is when their marketing or their brand Persona on the interwebs is actually out of integrity with who they are. Yes, I see that a lot, sadly, in the coaching industry and in, you know, just in marketing, when people are, they're projecting, oh, I'm this thing. I'm, I'm all of this, but it's not really. Or they're attaching themselves to other people so that they look a different way or a certain way because proximity is power. And yes, it is great for marketing. And is it actually an integrity with what you're doing?
- [21:19]
Patrick Franci
Love that.
- [21:19]
Kimberly Spencer
And with who you say you are. And I also take integrity on a granular level that, you know, when you make a commitment to show up to something, are you keeping those tiny micro commitments? Like I had the other day, I had to like, have my own gut check from my 6 year old who was like, mom, you know, you said you would pick me up and like, it was just, I was waking up with my 2 year old from a little. A nap that I just was like practically comatose from. And I, my, my mom who lives with us, she was, she witnessed like, you need me to go pick up Declan? And I was like, oh, my God, it'd be so much easier because I'm like in this like comatose, like, like the depths of sleep state. And I said, no, I have to keep my commitment to him. And I woke and I woke up and I went and picked him up from camp. And he was like, mom, you kept your commitment. And I was like, oh, buddy, like when he, when he notices. Because kids don't model who like what you say you're going to do. They model who you are. And that's my, that's my biggest thing with mentoring and modeling and role modeling that way is are you keeping the micro commitments just as much as the macro ones and just as much as the marketing ones?
- [22:31]
Patrick Franci
I love this conversation. And I like, like the. I love the conversation around integrity. I. Because it's, you know, my wife and I also within the Everyday Millionaire, we also do the Everyday Millionaire mindset matters, where she and I do a weekly segment, 30 to 40 minutes of what we call mindset matters. And we have these kinds of conversations, values conversations and integrity conversations. And, you know, we did a We do some workshops and weekends where we talk about integrity. And I want to share with you, and I'd like your feedback. We don't have to beat this one to death. I just think that listeners can't get, you know, there's so much to unpack in here and to actually, you know, reflect on. And I use integrity. You know, there's what we would call structural integrity. And I use that as a. As a example. If you have a bridge, there is structural integrity. You know, the steel and the bolts and all the pieces that go into building a bridge. And then if that bridge integrity is compromised, it gets struck by lightning, there's too many winds, there's too many cars gone over it. What happens is the structure, the structural integrity of that bridge begins to break down. And we as individuals, as human beings, and when we're operating and living out of integrity over time, we in fact start to break down mentally, emotionally, spiritually. And because I'm that guy, I also believe that how we show up out of integrity has an impact us on us physically. And, you know, that's the case of, you know, where do we start to actually get ill physically. And that can show up as colds and flus and all the things that go on with it. So that's the example I use around integrity.
- [24:15]
Kimberly Spencer
I love that you use that. You and I are very much in alignment on the physicality, because one of the questions that I have before every single one of my sessions with my coaching clients is, what's shown up for you physically? Because I do reference, because I study the new German medicine paradigm and different body, mind, body connection, as far as consciousness is concerned and understanding and seeing, okay, well, this is showing up. So how do we process, like the emotion of guilt or grief or what's showing up depending upon the body part? And where it's showing up is so key. And I completely agree with the structural integrity, because my first business was When I was 19, I was a pilates instructor. And so I had to rehab different structural anomalies and things that were out of integrity with the body to bring it back into alignment. And how to know when you're out of integrity is you will be feeling pain. And that's whether it's spiritual, mental, emotional, occupational, physical, you will know if you are out of integrity because you will have pain. Now, most people having rehabbed a lot of people with pain, most people, when they have pain, they don't address it until it's a chronic, acute pain where it's really, really present. But There when there's a dull ache, that's also pain. When there's that, there's that inflammation that's also creating pain. So looking at where are those things in your life, in your business, in your body, in your relationships, in your relationships, whether it's with a person or whether in your relationship thing like money, like, where are those things? That there is just a little bit of that nagging, niggling, just discomfort, that uncomfort that's not quite acute pain because that's where you can do some digging so that you can prevent more chronic problems in your business later on.
- [26:07]
Patrick Franci
So powerful, you know, when I get an acre of pain, short of me falling off of a ladder, which I also question, but short of that, if I have an ache of pain, I haven't had a cold for, I don't know, six or seven years. But ultimately the first, I don't say, why am I sick? I say, what is going on for me? So that is the first question I ask myself, is what is going on for me? I reflect on what is happening and am I buying into the stress? I am carrying the weight a little bit too heavy, whatever it might be. But I own my physicality, my health, around being physical in that regard. I just love those conversations. Now I want to go back a little bit, Kimberly, to the client base that you have. So somebody's seeking something in terms of again there. If I was coming to you, what problem would I be solving? So if I'm sitting here going, ah, gosh, I got this going on now what do I do? How do I turn? And I'm going, so what am I, what am I Googling or who am I talking to? How do I find? Why am I looking, Looking for you?
- [27:20]
Kimberly Spencer
Being torn. So there is. There is an energy, there is a language around I. There's this thing in my life that's supporting me, that feels good, that's okay. And then there's this thing that I really want to be doing and how do I bridge that gap and be either able to do, focus all my energy and genius zone in one, or do both at the same time. And I'm not surprised that I attract clients with multiple businesses because I've always had two.
- [27:52]
Patrick Franci
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [27:54]
Kimberly Spencer
So I've always had to. Since I was 19 years old, I had my Pilates business and then I had my screenwriting business. And then once I got my first features produced and distributed by Lionsgate, it was on Netflix, you know, released in movie theaters. Dream come true. I pivoted into having an E commerce business, and then I had my Pilates business. So I've always navigated those two. So I typically attract customers and clients who are juggling multiple businesses and they're looking at where to put their energy and what I help them most with, because I love that. You asked a question earlier about how, which is one of my favorite quotes is from Dan Sullivan, and he says it's not how, but who. And so typically when you're struggling with the how, it's like, who do you need to support you? And either you need a person or you need a process, and sometimes you need both. And so we look at what processes, system structure need to be in place to give you the freedom that you need to have. And a common problem that most of my clients come to me with is how do I have more freedom in my business? How do I create more freedom? I've created this entity for the sake of having freedom. And suddenly they go into building a business and they have, you know, they go from that one specialty that was their skill set to suddenly they have 27 different hats on because they're also the bookkeeper, they're also the marketer, they're also the chief financial, they're also post social media managers. So there are all these other different roles that aren't really in their zone of genius. And so what I do and my team does is we help to look at what are those pieces that can really, we can really dial into what their zone of genius is so that they can double down on those pieces. And then who do they need to surround themselves with support? What processes or automations do they need to put in place in order to really lift them up so that they actually have that freedom? Because I use the metaphor that most entrepreneurs, they like when they first start a business, they flip themselves off the cliff with the battle cry of freedom and they forget that they have no structure around them to support them. And if you want to get to your destination of Hawaii, you can only flap your arms for so long before you land and smash and hit the ground, versus getting onto a plane that has a structure. It has people that support you, it has a pilot, it has direction, and it has navigational systems that you do need to check into from time to time. But as the founder, as a CEO, as a visionary leader, you are sitting back in that seat, sipping on your Mai Tai, trusting that your crew you've operated, you've operationalized them well enough so that and you have the right people and the right system around you that will get you safely to your destination. The more structure you have, the more freedom you will actually get.
- [30:30]
Patrick Franci
Yeah, And I love that. You know, I love Dan Sullivan and the work that he does. And. But early on in my own journey as an entrepreneur, it was the understanding of the difference between owning a business and being a technician and being an entrepreneur, buying yourself a job or building a business. And that was a very. When I read the E. Myth Revisited many, many years ago, it was actually a fork in the road for me. It was like, holy cow, wake up, right? It was like, oh, interesting. I didn't know any of that. And so these are all things that we learn on our entrepreneurial journey. But I love. I love the analogy of the plane. Right. Like, very, very good. I love that. But let's go. First off, I don't want to step over. What was the movie? Was it like a roaring success? Did you win an Oscar or whatever you do? And as a producer, writer, what happened?
- [31:19]
Kimberly Spencer
You know that phrase, the riches are in the niches? Well, it was a very niche film. It was very niche. It was a film about high flying, freestyle motocross, and a young kid who wants to fit in with the cool crowd. And initially, it wasn't supposed to be. It's called Bro. It starts Danny Trejo. It wasn't supposed to be about motocross at all. It was just supposed to be the subculture of this, like, bro subculture that when I was in was. I was 21, 19, 20, I just finished dating a bro. And so I kind of knew that culture. And I also knew, you know, we've all had that experience that we all want to fit in with the cool crowd. We've all had that fear, desire to belong. And one of the things that I love about screenwriting and entrepreneurship is that just like with the storytelling of what stories you tell when you go on to a podcast or the stories that you tell yourself in your own head, there are about only about seven human stories that actually work in any form of screenwriting. And if any film or movie or book diverges from these, this structure of the seven stories, it flops. It just completely bombs. And we all have that. And every problem, every issue I've seen with entrepreneurs that I've coached, I see them coming at, you know, certain points in their story, and there's always that story. There's the Yoda, the Gandalf, the person who shows up, who's the guide, who's the mentor, who ignites that internal transformation, and then they go into through their journey, through their process. And then there's that all is lost moment when you think, oh my gosh, this is totally like bombing or it's not working or some internal and external change has to be made through the person. And that's what I guide my clients through every single time, is not only the guide moment, but that internal and external change that has to come around in order to actually create that next level of transformation. And so I think I've heard screenwriting screenwriters make the best copywriters, but I also think they make pretty damn good coaches too, because they understand the power of a human story and human emotion.
- [33:26]
Patrick Franci
Well, and there always has to be a villain. And you know, there has to be that guy in black and the person in white. It's got to be. That's kind of a key part of all of it. And we, you know, recently Patrick bet David released a book, you know, choose your enemies wisely. And there has. So the villain, the enemy, there has to be that somewhere along the line you need that resistance. You need something to push up against. You need something to battle. I think that's human nature, especially in business. You know, there's always a competitor. There's always somebody that pissed you off and they're not doing it the way they should do it, and you can do it better. And those are all villains. Those are all the enemies that we need to choose that keep us going. So I've met a lot of songwriters. I know a number of songwriters and musicians. I've not met a screenwriter before, so that's cool.
- [34:13]
Kimberly Spencer
Now you know one.
- [34:15]
Patrick Franci
Now I have. So I want to. Okay, you're fascinating. Of all the things that you've accomplished. Let's talk a little bit about you now. You've done a lot at a young age. You're doing and crushing it in many aspects. You're an entrepreneur. I always investigate at least the conversation to some degree. Is it nature or nurture? Did you come out of the chute as an entrepreneur? Were parents an entrepreneur? Like, how did you get on your entrepreneurial journey? Because by the sounds of it, you started very young on that journey. Now, does it come from how you were raised? You know, what was it for you?
- [34:58]
Kimberly Spencer
100% it comes from how I was raised. I was raised with. I'm second generation entrepreneur. I saw my parents grow a multimillion dollar tree business in 30 years. Even with my dad being a highly functioning addiction. And that experience growing up, I saw if they could do that in 30 years, what could I do? In 10. That was my challenging overachiever.
- [35:23]
Patrick Franci
Okay, go ahead.
- [35:25]
Kimberly Spencer
And I am so grateful for that because I see the difference in being raised with entrepreneurs as parents versus being raised with employees as parents. To give an example, I had one client was starting to build her own business, but the problem was she kept talking to her mom about her business. Her mom had been a 30 year veteran corporate employee, and so whenever she was going to approach a risk, her mom was very, very risk averse. And so it would. She would always counter with like, oh, do you really think you should be doing that? Oh, that seems really risky. Which I always say, be very careful of who your environment is be aware of, because you cannot. If I if teaching pilates starting at 19 taught me anything, it was that your environment heavily dictates how your level of success. And that's why I love going on podcasts like yours, Patrick, and what you're doing for your community, because you are providing people with a new environment. Because the environment is not just the people that you live with. It's the people that you have in your ears. It's the people that you have on your screens that you're watching either on TV or on Instagram or in the movies or listening to on podcasts. That is all shaping your environment. And you will never outgrow your environment.
- [36:37]
Patrick Franci
Mm. Okay. So already I want to just be your best friend. Okay. I'm just telling you right now I might become a little obsessed with you because I love this conversation because it so aligns with how I see it. And of course, that's always good in my world. That's always good. But you know something? You said something that's really interesting, that when we talk about environment, how important it is the fact that you were raised in an environment of entrepreneurs. So you didn't have any other conversation. It was just about business. It was about all of the things that your parents were going through as they grew their business and did what they do. So that's the only conversation you were having. And, you know, there was good, there was bad, there was exciting, and there was villains, and there was all of the things that go on in business in that regard. So it's really, to your ear, it's pretty normal because that's what. You erased it. You make a really interesting point. I'm going to share, like, I'm getting to a point of all of this, which is that parents need to understand, you know, you shared the story about the entrepreneur that's talking to her. You know, a mom that's been a 30 year employee and who knows what the background there is. But you know, when I talk to individuals on the podcast like yourself, one of the things that always shows up or often shows up is how encouraging their parents were. So in other words, they would have an idea and they would. And their parents would go, yeah, you got this. You can do this. Here's some thoughts around it. Yeah, you got this. You go, you can do anything. Like they live into this story of, gosh, I'm Superwoman, I'm Superman, I got this. Mom and dad said, I got this. So they go into it with the story that they're telling themselves as opposed to an opinion of mom and dad as seen through their filters of so many years. And back to the conversation around millennials. If you're a millennial looking for guidance from parents who maybe aren't as evolved in terms of their own personal professional development, who have a story around the fact that they have been employed for 30 years, maybe they're part of a union, maybe they work for the government. They live in that box of limitations. Whereas as entrepreneurs, our limitations is our ability to solve the problems and can we do it? And the creativity around that. So that's a long winded way of getting to a question of for you. And I think I heard you say your dad was a high functioning addict, but even in that were your parents encouraging you in that way? As in the sky's the limit, there are no limitations. Be careful. But blah, blah, blah, giving you guidance from an entrepreneurial.
- [39:24]
Kimberly Spencer
I mean my, my parents were my biggest cheerleaders and like it it. I, I had a, I have another friend, Alan Laz of Next Level University podcast and he saw it when he, he visited and he saw, he met my mom. And yeah, I think my dad was no, my dad was in rehab at the time and he was like, I see it. He goes, your mom always believes in you. I see it. And it was so cool to have that feedback when I saw and same with my dad, like he had his struggles and he definitely, we definitely had a very complex relationship when I was younger. There was lots of different forms of abuse, but that given that there still was the cheerleader, like my dad was the one who through his customer found me my acting school that then taught me screenwriting that they both my parents were comfortable with me dropping out of college to two weeks before I was supposed to start with multiple scholarships to go to an acting class so I could pursue my career in Hollywood. Like that's the level of support and encouragement that my family had for me. And I'm very, very grateful eternally for them for that. And that's something that I now foster, that I get to foster with my children. Like, my six year old is like, I want to be an astronaut and a rocket scientist and this kid has a game plan. And I'm like, I joined a $20,000 mastermind so I could meet other astronauts and literal rocket scientists so that I could pair him up with internships for 10 years later. Like, that's, that's the. Because I saw that level of belief modeled through my parents. And I'm so grateful for that.
- [41:01]
Patrick Franci
You know something, it's such an interesting way of looking at things. I've literally had guests say to me that as a kid growing up, their. If they reflect on it, if there was a challenge that they faced was that their parents believed too much in them, like there was no limitations for them. So, you know, it's come back in different ways. Not a little bit in a. They can wrap a story around it, make it negative, but that's what they said. You know, I was so tight with my parents in terms of their support and their belief in me that I just thought I could do anything. And sometimes it got me in trouble because I thought that I could do anything because that's how I was raised. And it's so interesting. And there's another, you know, another thing that you said, which is, I would like your view on this, how it shows up for you now again, your relationship with your father and what he was going through and whatever degree, and you know, within those relationships, as you say, it gets a little complex, confusing, whatever the case may be, and a little bit of trauma probably along the way. But here's the fundamental. And I don't want to put words in your mouth, but my view of it, given who you are, how you show up, where you are today, at some level, you recognize that maybe you suffered some trauma around it and you handled it and. Or you look at it and go, trauma, yes. But it's part of why I am who I am today is because I had to go through that trauma. And it's how it was, it's how it showed up for me. So in other words, the fundamental difference is that it's not a reason for you to not be successful. It's actually, yeah, that was part of my life. It's part of how and why I show up today the way I show up. And yeah, I've had to deal with some shit and get Flat with my dad or whatever the story is. But the difference is that it's not an excuse that limits you in terms of what you accomplish. If anything, maybe it inspires you or maybe it was part of what created the resilience or the skills that you have today. So I say that. But none of that may be true from your perspective.
- [43:06]
Kimberly Spencer
It really is in many, many ways I think think, you know, his passing brought in 2021 brought me so much perspective because at the time I was pregnant with my second son. We were stuck in a foreign country. We got. We were those Americans who got stuck in Australia and couldn't leave for a few years. And fortunately I had had an online business since 2018. Zoom was not for me, but I was over there. I couldn't go home for to support my father and couldn't see him in the hospital anyway back then because of COVID And with that experience though, because of the space and the distance and being in a different environment, I was able to really reflect on the fact that the worst times of my childhood with the abuse was in between the years that he had lost both his parents. And he too had had a very complex and abusive relationship with his mother specifically, but also like abandonment issues from his father and like tons. And it gave me so much compassion for him. And I truly, deeply believe that people are doing the best that they can with the resources that they have available. And yes, there have been times when certain beliefs have come up around, specifically around deservingness. And most recently there was one about being a disappointment that really, really hit hard for a while because I found after my father had passed, even though when he passed, I felt so free. I felt like he was finally free of his addiction and the challenges that. That he faced throughout his 73 years on. On this planet. But I found his journals from rehab and I really don't recommend that anyone go through and read their. The. The stuff that people write about them when they're in rehab because there was just. It was filled with Vitrol and it really. I didn't realize how deeply it cut me and my own performance in showing up and how it highlighted new beliefs that I didn't even know that I had about being a disappointment. And I had to. I then worked my own process, the same process that I worked through with my clients with timeline therapy, hypnosis, somatic bodywork and breath work, NLP reframing, to really look at. Oh my God. I let this belief permeate me because he was always such a powerful influence in My life, you know, when I. And I'm so grateful because that's now something that I can have compassion for people with. Like just like I can have compassion for my clients when, when they go through buyouts or employee issues. Because I was like, oh, I've been through that. Now I can help them navigate a whole new level of identity. Belief systems because of rewiring these belief systems. Like it, it really manifested when I was 19 years old. I'd freshly moved out of my, my parents house. I got, I started my Pilates business. I was screenwriting. But I was also battling a 10 year battle with bulimia. And it was through healing bulimia with no psychological or medical intervention that I realized initially These beliefs at 19 years old were showing up. These all what I call plagiarized programming. The beliefs that I was enough. Yes, this person may have thought said, did this just because you were a victim of an action. Like, I work with a lot of people who have experienced sexual abuse. I personally experienced sexual abuse. And those, those experiences, they do shape you. But when you recognize like. And I took some flack with from this online when people are like, but I'm a victim of this experience. This happened. I'm like, yeah, it happened to me too. And there's a difference between being a victim of an experience and cultivating a victim mindset. And when you take ownership and you seize that man's log ownership of like. You know, it was never my father shoving my finger down my throat. That was me. And it was never me choosing. It was never my father forcing me to embody beliefs and creating me, making me do actions that ended up disappointing people. That was me. And like, I had to look at all of actions and take ownership of like, wow, that was. Those are my choices. Yes, yes, the past played an influence, but I chose to operate in the now, which is the only moment that we have. And so it was then when I was 19 years old that I started to shift when I started to really take ownership of my own actions, of my own emotions, of my own triggers or as I call them, just activations of the moments that activated me and of being aware and open to doing the work, the inner work that it takes to process. And sometimes just like top down work is not enough. So it's something like. And by top down work, I mean sometimes talk therapy, sometimes, you know, just coaching, sometimes you actually need to get into the body in releasing it. And that's why I'm a huge proponent of breathwork. I use it in My coaching sessions because it allows for breath, which in multiple different language means spirit, to move through your body. And it opens up and activates the places that may need healing because your body is run by your subconscious mind. And so everything, all our past, all our memories, all our values, all our belief systems are stored in our subconscious mind. And so where do they get stuck? And so one of my favorite books to recommend is the Body Keeps the Score. And especially when processing trauma and when you are noticing the beliefs coming up or you notice like. Like what you said is very similarly. It's when anything unconscious. I like to use the phrase things that are conscious manifest happily. Things that are unconscious manifest unhappily. So every time something uncon. Something manifests unhappily, whether it's a sickness or a dis. Ease or just a disappointment or something going wrong with a client or an employee or a team member or a family member, I look at, okay, what is it? How did I create this circumstance? And I take ownership. Not swinging the pendulum, though, into villainy. And because the biggest. I love that you touched on being a villain and finding the villains in your story. Because so often I see, especially with clients who have experienced some form of trauma, they will swing. They so don't want to be perceived as weak. So that's the victim side. They think the victim is weak, so they make themselves the villain of their story. And by swinging the pendulum into being the villain of their story, they then that's not ownership either. That's not ownership. That you can only take 100% ownership for your actions. Other people can take 100% ownership for their actions. Like, I had one client who still was struggling with being the villain in his ex wife's story. And I was like, you, dude, you've been divorced for 10 years.
- [50:02]
Patrick Franci
Let it go.
- [50:04]
Kimberly Spencer
We gotta let this one go. Like, at some point, your ex wife is gonna have to take responsibility for the fact that she doesn't have a job. And I don't. I think it's anywhere between one and three months, maybe, like you're giving her a pretty long Runway. So being able to honor that role and then swing the pendulum. Because the beautiful thing about the villain role, and there's a metaphor and there's a strategy in psychology, and I don't remember who was. Who created it, but it's called the drama triangle. And you have the villain, the victim, and the hero. And a lot of times the hero is also what I call the codependent, the enabler. They're the ones who will swing in to rescue the victim. But the victim can become, when the victim takes ownership, the victim can become the creator of their circumstances. They become a powerful manifester. The hero becomes the coach. They become the person who sets clear boundaries, who lets. You have 100% of your responsibility. I have 100% of mine. I can coach you, I can guide you, I can support you, but I'm not going to step in and save you. Like you're going to have to learn how to save yourself. But my favorite one is actually the villain. And the villain can become the challenger of systemic problems. And so that's why I know in my lineage the cycle of abuse ends with me. My kids aren't going to have to experience that. And I'm so grateful to be the one that challenged that system. Like there's, there's such a gratitude in me for that.
- [51:34]
Patrick Franci
You've done the work right. And that's powerful in itself is the willingness to do the work. And I mean, what makes, I mean, what of many things that make you a great coach of being able and having that relatedness because of your own experience gives you that compassion, that empathy, the ability to hold space for somebody while they figure this shit out and go through the process that they go through. There's a book, if you haven't read it, sounds like you probably have or some version of it, but Jocko Wilnick wrote a book, Extreme Ownership and I cannot stress it enough, is that it's such a great book and he tells it in story. He was a top performing Navy Seal and he talks about it because he was the leader of certain things and he talks about the communication with his team and life threatening things and he tells it in story form. Some people don't like the book for different reasons, but if you just focus on what he's sharing in terms of never being a victim, like really extreme ownership, which means, and I've said this for many years and then when I read the book four or five years ago, it actually was, I had my whole team read it at the time because it was that impactful. I thought it was that important is because we find ourselves being, we can paint ourselves and find ourselves being victims without realizing that's what we're doing. You know, don't blame, don't complain. And Extreme ownership, your life is a reflection of who you're being, who you're not being, the decisions you're making, the decisions that you're not making. That's kind of where I operate from. And I think it's really kind of where you have come to through a lot of experience and hard knocks along the way. And I think that's just part of any entrepreneur's journey. And some get it and some don't. So it is interesting. I love what you said as well, is that when you're in Australia or with your dad, and only because it really resonated for me because we literally are dropping a podcast this week. My wife Stephanie and I just did a whole podcast on perception versus perspective. And what shifted for you was perception, which is always a emotional feeling kind of thing, versus the perspective that you gained when you shifted the perception from the experience that you had when you kind of got to the bottom of it. I love that part of the conversation, you know, as we. I know we got a time limit, and so I want to be clear on and be careful of our time because there's lots of things I want to talk to you about. And again, I love this conversation. And there's nothing that, like everything you've said, I'm going, yeah, yeah, no, I agree. So when you talk about breathing, you know, one of the things that will often friends or family who know us is, you know, somebody's dealing with something and they got a problem and they're going through it. You know, we always use the phrase, you know, remember to breathe. You know, just remember to breathe, you'll be fine. Just remember to breathe. Right. And breath work is so important now. Did you do some training? With whom?
- [54:42]
Kimberly Spencer
Anybody or biodynamic breathwork and trauma release and. Actually, I did that while I was in Australia pregnant with my second child, and that labor was so fast.
- [54:53]
Patrick Franci
Wow. So when you look at that breathwork now, is that part of a normal daily routine practice for you, that you take that time for yourself and you do breathwork, or is it more of a tool that you use when you're facing maybe some adversity or need to release some stress, whatever that might be.
- [55:14]
Kimberly Spencer
I would love to say it's a normal daily routine, but that would be out of integrity.
- [55:20]
Patrick Franci
Oh, hold it, Kimberly. You're shattering. You're a mean. You're a mere mortal. Oh, my gosh. I can't believe.
- [55:26]
Kimberly Spencer
Right? Don't insult me by calling me human. So, yes, I am human. It is not a daily practice for me. Breathing is, however, like, that's good. I, you know, life. But, yeah, still alive, still have a pulse, but consciously breathing. So there's a big difference between stress breathing, which gets stuck in the top third of your lungs, and actual deep Diaphragmatic breathing. And because of my background as a Pilates instructor, I didn't realize what I was doing at such a young age was actually retraining my nervous system. I didn't know how to. But growing up in a cycle of addiction, in a household of addiction, while also struggling with my own addiction to bulimia, I didn't realize how out of whack my sympathetic nervous system was where I would just completely. I would either be running on all cylinders or I would be completely shut down. And I had no nervous system regulation. And what Pilates taught me that I didn't know that it was teaching me at the time, but I know it now, is how to regulate and how to activate the parasympathetic nervous system. So I'm a huge proponent of exercise as in such that activates the parasympathetic nervous system. So actually just recently last year, I had a bit of a health challenge because I got mono out of nowhere. But it was because the stress of two years, of four family members dying in two years, losing two family friends, two major moves, one country wide, one stateside and having a baby and starting a second business, a few things happened that way.
- [57:01]
Patrick Franci
I got nothing going on.
- [57:04]
Kimberly Spencer
And so as soon as we, we moved to our now and manifested our dream home, what happened was my whole body and all the cortisol that had just kind of been like firing on all cylinders suddenly was like crash. And I had, I had to re regulate and retrain my nervous system and I actually had to stop doing high intensity exercise because it was actually spiking my cortisol too much. It was, it was causing me to stay in a heightened sympathetic state, which actually wasn't good. So if you're noticing that you are incredibly stressed or you've gone through a very stressful period, forms of exercise that shift your nervous system from being in a sympathetic state to being in a parasympathetic state and thus allow you to have that versatility. Because resilience is, it's like. Resilience is like a heartbeat. So we have the ups and we have the downs. And so ideally we want to have this smooth transition of resilience. And the smoother you can have that transition of the highs ups and the high downs that is the measure of actual resilience and heart rate variability. So when we look at resilience as a theme, like we want to be able to regulate from that sympathetic into that parasympathetic. And Pilates, yoga and qigong are the three forms of exercise that actually do this. And you can also do this with just 90 seconds of just deep breathing where you inhale and then you exhale longer than you inhale. I've taught that to my clients who are in high level CEO possessions, managing large teams or billion dollar franchises. And they say that, that alone just learning how to breathe for 90 seconds intentionally without even doing the trauma release breastwork that I'm certified in. But like just that basic 90 seconds and just taking that time for yourself, it allows for them to actually have that regulation and get back into their body to make more sound decision making.
- [59:01]
Patrick Franci
I love that. And the breath work that you're talking about is, you know, so you might take a breath in for 10 seconds, but you exhale for 12. I'm just throwing some things out. A four count and you exhale to an eight count is that you exhale.
- [59:16]
Kimberly Spencer
For a six to an eight count. So it's anything that's exhaling that will automatically switch on your parasympathetic nervous system within 90 seconds. Breath work is in terms of like biodynamic breathwork and trauma release that can be activating the parasympathetic, Especially if you haven't done that. And you can be doing that for like an hour, but you might fall asleep. That can also be done where you go into an active state of breathing. So you're doing like what Navy seals call like box breathing. And you're inhaling and exhaling at the same rate. And you're in this nice circular flow of continuous breathing. And then what happens is that that causes things to stir up within the body. Sometimes it's pictures, sometimes it's memories, sometimes it's physicality, sometimes it's discomfort, but it's stuff that's allowing the body to process. And then you want to be able to titrate and regulate back into a state where you feel very well resourced in your body. One of the things I always ask my clients is what feels good in your body right now so that you can find a place of resource? Because so often when, especially in states of stress or trauma or challenge, it's very easy to have that state of overwhelm where you're like, nothing feels good, everything sucks, everything is hard. And if we can find those places in our body to recognize that both can that the light and the dark can interact and exist simultaneously. You can have places in your body that feel light and breathy and beautiful and peaceful. And you can have places in your body that feel painful and challenging and Like a struggle that something you need to work through. The same is true in your business.
- [60:49]
Patrick Franci
You know, as you're sharing about all that you had going on and, you know, the. And ultimately the stress that happens. There's a phrase, a quote that I use. It's not mine. I use it frequently. I've never been able to source it. I don't know where I got it from. But it is simply. It's not the weight we carry that breaks us down. It's the way we carry the weight. And, you know, if we get into these times in our life where we've got so much going on and we lose that awareness of how we're carrying the weight, it will in fact, to begin to break us down. You know, you're. You know, what you're suggesting and what your own experiences, and by the way, I agree, is, you know, breath work and remembering to go back to the breath, remembering to breathe, remembering to do it intentionally. But to your point, there are. There is methodology that really supports all of that. It's such a, I guess, a great example of what you just shared, of just how easy it is to fall into that. I mean, given the body of work that you've done, given how aware you are, it happens to the best. And so not to beat yourself or to beat, you know, for anybody to beat themselves up for that, the reality of it is, is that you got to come back to sand. You know, you got to come back to understanding that. And of course, the other cliche is, you know, the universe whispers to you and don't ever worry if you don't hear it, because it will turn up the volume. And then ultimately we break down. We get sick, we get colds, whatever. When you reflect on that time, Kimberly, and just with the awareness, maybe in reflection, you know, was there, you know, prior to you, you know, getting mono or going through it, was there a. Were there signals to you or There were, and you're going, no, I'm just going to lean into it, put my shoulder into it and get shit done, right? Yeah.
- [62:43]
Kimberly Spencer
Oh, yeah. Because, you know, I've identified as a jerk for a long time, and I am the person that I can put my head down and just get shit done and it'll happen. And at the same, like a realtor was like, I've never seen anyone flip a house so fast. But at the same time, like, you know, those things take a toll and like, being able to look at, how are you? Are you in sync and in integrity with your own natural rhythm and I had to look at where was I pushing myself super hard for outside performance metrics, whether it was like. Like, no one's going to. For not. Not going for missing a bar class, except I would. And so where am I putting extra pressure on myself? Where am I putting or as you say, extra weight on myself for a level of performance that's not even really expected? And I think the beautiful thing is, throughout that entire experience, it was looking at what are my own expectations for myself and what are the. What can I appreciate instead? And it was in that. Surrendering the expectations of all of these performance metrics into. Instead just being able to appreciate and be in the moment. Because especially when you're going through trauma, shock, moving, literally moving, like there isn't. There is a settling period that comes in that, like, that breath of like, I can. I'm safe, I can. I'm here, I'm present, I'm here. And it's in that space that you can really grow from. But you do. I was just having a call with a sales call, actually a prospective client for our agency. And I. And I know her story and, you know, single mom, domestic violence a lot. Successful businesswoman. But at the same time, all of these struggles. And I said, it seems to me like in your business, what you really need is to set that foundation of safety again and to remind yourself of that, like, because it's not just having on the Maslow's hierarchy of needs up in your here, like, oh, yeah, all my bills are paid and et cetera. But it's being able to set that emotional level of safety where you're setting a new foundation and a standard. And especially as someone who grew up in a home with an addict where chaos was the norm. And that was what I felt safe in, having a home now where we have, you know, just. There's not chaos.
- [65:22]
Patrick Franci
Yeah.
- [65:23]
Kimberly Spencer
And we don't need to manufacture chaos. It's changing the norm of what you feel is safe or familiar and how to change that and set that new foundation. Like that was really the word for last year that I truly. That was just kept coming through to me. It was just set the foundation and building then. Now it's building on that renewed foundation of how we're raising our family and how we're building our businesses, and we're doing it differently than it's been done or differently than it was modeled for me.
- [65:55]
Patrick Franci
I love it. I love it. And I love the fact that you recognize that, you know, you're not going to repeat a pattern. You're going to break the cycle, you know, with your kids. I think all of that is really, I think, profound for, you know, anybody who's listening to understand that when we take the time to unpack all of these things, we can be really responsible in even our thought process and how we raise our kids intentionally. And I think most parents do their best, but don't necessarily have the tools. Hopefully a podcast like this, you know, gives people some insights into a different way to look at it, you know, and there's another phrase that comes to mind as we deal with all the things. There's a. Ultimately we go, well, my parents kind of screwed me up and I'm going to do my best not to screw up my kids. You're going to screw them up. You just are. That's just how it goes, right? And the phrase that I'm just going to. Right. And you're not even going to know and then it's going to show up when they're 30. There is a phrase that, again, it's not mine. It was in some body of work I did with the Hoffman Institute many years ago, but it was. It's everybody's fault, but nobody's to blame. And so when we go through all of these things growing up, there's cycles upon cycles and your dad was a function of his dad and. Or mom or whatever the story was. So we go through these patterns. So I know you gotta go before we do. I got a couple of really rapid fires. We got like four minutes. Let's do it for some fun. And it's up to you now. These are your questions and you gotta think fast on your feet. They're just meant to be fun, so don't worry about it too much. Kimberly. Okay, easy one. Just to get you warmed up. Apple or Android?
- [67:44]
Kimberly Spencer
Apple, 100%. Mommy, Mommy's here. You wanna come on the podcast with me?
- [67:51]
Patrick Franci
Yeah. Yeah, please do. That's so fun. Hi. Look at you. Oh, okay, I got all that. That's a good note.
- [68:01]
Kimberly Spencer
You're gonna be okay.
- [68:03]
Patrick Franci
You're gonna be a good speaker, just like your mom. Okay, I'm not cutting any of that segment. I'm gonna tell the editing team. Leave that segment. Okay, so maybe we won't finish this segment unless we can.
- [68:26]
Kimberly Spencer
We can finish it. They just ran out.
- [68:28]
Patrick Franci
I think they're gonna watch. They're gonna turn on Mickey Mouse. Okay, so favorite movie? Do you have one?
- [68:34]
Kimberly Spencer
Oh, Greatest Showman.
- [68:36]
Patrick Franci
Greatest Showman. Oh, great. Did you see. And I don't remember her name, who actually sang the song, she was on Britain's Got Talent. Unbelievable.
- [68:45]
Kimberly Spencer
But no, I'm an old boy, so phenomenal.
- [68:49]
Patrick Franci
She went on to do some really great stuff. I was cool. It was just one of those things that I picked up on. Favorite band, favorite song.
- [68:56]
Kimberly Spencer
Oh, Snow Patrol, Chasing cars. It was actually, funny story, my husband. It was the only song he learned how to play on the guitar before he met me. And then on our first date, he played it and I was like, how do you know my favorite band and my favorite song? So it was one of Carl Young's synchronicities, as he would call it.
- [69:13]
Patrick Franci
Oh, fantastic. Your room, your desk, or your car. What do you clean first? And. Or maybe I'll rephrase it. What I find with my guests is what do you have cleaned first?
- [69:26]
Kimberly Spencer
Either way, the car is really the car, or it's the car or the desk. Because I can't handle a messy desk. Like, I try to do my best to keep it as clean, but also the car. Because you know what? As a mom, I'm going to actually have to say the car. Because there can be some nasty things from two kids, especially boys. Like, food gets left over and you want to get that cleaned as fast as possible out of your.
- [69:51]
Patrick Franci
And your kids never kick the back of the seat. So there's never any issues there.
- [69:55]
Kimberly Spencer
No, but there is. Spilled milk. That's a big one.
- [69:59]
Patrick Franci
Of course. Of course. Favorite swear word.
- [70:03]
Kimberly Spencer
Oh, fuck.
- [70:04]
Patrick Franci
Oh, it is, eh?
- [70:05]
Kimberly Spencer
Yeah.
- [70:05]
Patrick Franci
I thought you were gonna go. I thought you were gonna be one of those moms or one of those guests that go, nah. Yeah, I don't really swear. Good, I'm glad.
- [70:12]
Kimberly Spencer
Oh, no, no. You know, I believe every single human on this planet needs an appropriate fuck from time to time.
- [70:19]
Patrick Franci
I agree. I agree. I've been told that if you had it, Patrick, if you had a better command of the English language, you wouldn't need to use the F bomb. I go, nah, I've got a great command of the English language. And fuck that. I know exactly what I'm saying.
- [70:36]
Kimberly Spencer
Though I do think. I think old English vernacular and swear words should come back. Like strumpet. What a great word.
- [70:42]
Patrick Franci
Yeah, exactly. If God exists, what do you want to hear him or her say when you get to the gates?
- [70:53]
Kimberly Spencer
Oh, I'd want to hear the vibration of love. It wouldn't even be like a sound like a word. It would be just the fully encompassing feeling of complete peace and love.
- [71:11]
Patrick Franci
Love. That beautiful. Final question. What are you grateful for today, Kimberly?
- [71:17]
Kimberly Spencer
Oh, those munchkins.
- [71:22]
Patrick Franci
I think the audience is gonna love them. And I am grateful for having the opportunity to meet and speak with you and have you join me as a guest on the show. I think we need to do a part two. I'm just saying in advance because I think we will need to. So, Kimberly, thank you so much for your time and I will let you get on to your day with your children.
- [71:44]
Kimberly Spencer
Thank you so much. Patrick. It has been a pleasure and an honor to be here with you and I am so excited to share this episode. I think it will really serve a lot of people.
- [71:52]
Patrick Franci
Awesome. Thanks, Kimberly. Ladies and gentlemen, thank you for listening. If you found value in the podcast, please take the time to rate and review and share with others. Share with your friends as it is my goal to always improve and to provide the highest value for you, the listener. If you have any comments, suggestions or questions you'd like answered, please email me at CEO raincanada. Com. That's CEO@reincanada.
- [72:24]
Kimberly Spencer
Com.
- [72:24]
Patrick Franci
I look forward to hearing from you. And until next time, Patrick O.