← The Everyday Style School
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Jennifer Mackey
If you're tired of wasting money on clothes you hardly wear, struggling to get dressed every time you leave the house, and feeling like nothing looks good on you, I've got something you won't want to miss. This is your invitation to join my free five day Style Made simple challenge coming up May 12th through the 16th. In just five days, you'll learn to accurately understand your body shape, discover your natural style and and unlock the secret to better outfits in less time. Plus, I'm sharing the biggest mistake women make when they want to boost their style and what you should do instead. During the challenge, there will be daily live sessions with Q and A, time to answer your questions, a little bit of practical homework, and a supportive community with giveaways. Even if you can't attend live, you'll get full access to the replays so that it works for your schedule. It's time to make style simple and it's easier than you think. Register now at your everyday style.com simple and take the stress out of getting dressed forever. Again, the five day style made simple challenge is happening May 12th through the 16th. It's totally free. All you have to do is head to your everyday style.com simple and register. I'll see you there. In my many, many years as a wardrobe stylist, I've been able to observe the wardrobe habits and behaviors of women in their natural environment. It's turned me into a style sociologist, if you will. Some habits are good and helpful, like putting a bra fitting on your calendar every year around your birthday or editing your closet at the end of every season. On the other hand, some habits hurt your style and make it harder to get dressed and look good. And today I'm talking about what I think is one of the worst style habits you can have. This habit wastes your money, confuses your style, and leaves you with nothing to wear. Can you guess the habit I'm talking about? Today I'm going to share what it is, why it's so harmful, how to stop, and what to do instead. Let's get started. Foreign welcome back to the Everyday Style School, the podcast that gives real life style advice to real life women. I'm your host, Jennifer Mackey. Mary I'm a wardrobe stylist who's been dressing everyday Women for over 25 years and I'm the founder of Everyday Style, where we're on a mission to inspire women to love the way they look and and give you the tools to make getting dressed easy. If you've been around for a while, when I Asked if you could guess the style habit I think is more harmful than just about any other, what did you think? Maybe you thought, oh, buying things in multiple colors, or buying for an aspirational life, or describing your style as comfortable. Those are things I've talked about, and they're all great answers. So give yourself a virtual high five, and we're actually going to touch on most of those today. But there's one that's often responsible for all the other bad habits. The original style sin, if you will. And that, my dear listener, is recreational shopping. If you guessed that one, give yourself a pat on the back because you've been paying attention. Over the years, I've talked about recreational shopping in a lot of different contexts, but considering how detrimental to your wardrobe and your style I think it is, I thought it was time to dedicate a whole episode to it and hopefully convince you to stop doing it. And if you can't stop doing it, because most of us can't, at least cut way, way back. And because recreational shopping probably doesn't look like you think it looks, I'm going to share my definition so that we're all on the same page and, and you can be more aware of the times you're doing it. Then I'm going to share a few ways that recreational shopping hurts your wallet, hurts your wardrobe, and hurts your style. In this part, you might feel like I've got a hidden camera in your closet. I can assure you I don't. I am not a stalker. I'm not a creep. I've just seen the effects of too much recreational shopping hundreds of times over the years. And then finally, because recreational shopping is a habit and habits are hard to break, I'm going to give you some tips on how to stop and what to do Instead, if you feel like I'm just a killjoy who wants to take all the fun out of style and never let you go shopping again, I assure you that is not the case. I am not a killjoy. I want you to have fun. Nobody wants you to have fun with style more than me. But what I really want is, is for you to have something to show for the money you've spent and the time you spent at the end of the day, and recreational shopping doesn't give you that. Before we talk about what recreational shopping is, I want to really clarify what I mean when I say it hurts your wardrobe and your style. You might think, well, aren't they kind of the same thing? No. No, they're not the same thing. They're connected in that it's really hard to have great style without a great wardrobe. But you can have a great wardrobe and still not have great style. This is something I have seen a lot over the years. Think about it this way. Your wardrobe is what you put into your closet and your style is what you can pull out of your closet. So if you want to pull great outfits out of your closet, AKA your style, you have to have the right things in your closet. That's your wardrobe. Often I saw women with closets full of great stuff who struggled to get dressed or have great style. And the biggest reason for that was that none of the pieces inside the closet talk to each other. So I would see wardrobes full of like gorgeous jackets and pretty cardigans, but nothing to wear under them. Those pieces couldn't get out of the closet to become part of my client's style. They were just stuck in clothing purgatory. And the other thing I saw was that while the clothes themselves were fantastic, they weren't fantastic for their owner. I don't care how fabulous your dresses are, if you don't like to wear dresses, they're not going to help your style. If you want to be able to pull great outfits out of your closet easily and have great style, you have to be thoughtful about what you're putting into your wardrobe. The truth is, your shopping habits determine the quality of your wardrobe. And when I say quality, I'm not talking about an expensive coat or that well made pair of pants that will last you forever. No, my definition of a quality wardrobe is one that allows you to get dressed easily for 90% of your real life without stress or struggle. And here's the important part. Like the results. If you can get dressed in two minutes but you don't like the results, that's not a quality wardrobe. Now on the other hand, if you like the end results, but it takes an emergency shopping trip or an hour of trying on outfit after outfit to get there. To me, that's not a quality wardrobe either. You have to be able to get dressed easily and like the results. Today's conversation is about changing a shopping habit to improve the quality of your wardrobe so that you can have better style. So let's kick it off with talking about what recreational shopping is. For this conversation. Recreational shopping is anytime you shop for fun, anytime you shop without a plan, and anytime you buy clothes you weren't expecting to. We tend to have this idea that recreational shopping looks like a fun girls day out with mimosas and cute outfits and Arms laden with shopping bags. No, that's the movies. And most of us can honestly say we don't do that. I don't remember the last time I spent a whole Saturday with my besties shopping. But most of us still do more recreational shopping than we realize. Back in the day, I used to speak to a lot of women's groups, especially moms groups, and I would talk about the dangers of recreational shopping and they would all say, well, I don't do that anymore. I don't have time to just walk around the mall and browse like I used to. And I'd say, okay, but have you ever gone to Target intending to buy like paper towels and cleaning supplies and come home with T shirts? And everyone would laugh because of course they had. That is recreational shopping. If you've ever been not thinking about buying shorts, but then you got an email announcing 50% off on shorts and before you know it you have a cart full of shorts, that is recreational shopping. If you've ever been on vacation just browsing through the cute little shops full of things you're unlikely to wear in your non vacation life and you've left with a pair of shell sandals or a sun hat that says do not disturb on it, that is recreational shopping. And if that last one sounded a little too specific, it's because there's a sun hat that says do not disturb in my closet. As we speak, when you're scrolling Instagram or TikTok and you see someone's cute outfit, so you just hop over to LTK or hit that little shopping cart icon, that is recreational shopping. When you're standing in line to return something and while you're waiting, you're just kind of looking through the little sale bins of accessories by the register, it's recreational shopping. You can see that even though most of us aren't calling our moms or girlfriends saying, hey, let's go shopping. There are plenty of ways we engage in recreational shopping. And the first step to stopping, or at least cutting it back, is to recognize all the ways and all the times. All we end up with clothes we weren't planning on buying. Let's move on to how it hurts your wardrobe and by extension, your style. I've got five ways for you. First, when we shop recreationally, we tend to buy things we already have because we're on autopilot, right? Without a plan or awareness, I would buy nothing other than sweatshirts, wide leg athleisure pants and sneakers. When I do engage in recreational shopping, like if I'm taking my girls shopping for school clothes or whatever and I end up with things for myself that tends to be what I come home with. That's what my natural style gravitates to. It's practical for working from home. It's comfortable. It fits my casual lifestyle. But do you know what I really don't need any more of? Yeah, sweatshirts, wide leg athleisure pants and sneakers. I'm good. So when I recreational shop and I buy these things, I'm spending my wardrobe dollars on an area that doesn't need it while completely ignoring categories of my wardrobe that do need some filling out. Which makes it harder to get dressed for things that require something besides sweatshirts, wide leg athleisure pants and sneakers. See the problem? Those of you who love to buy things in multiple colors really get into trouble here. You're overfilling one category of your wardrobe which can already lead to a style rut. And you're making it worse by creating a style rut within that style rut. If you're one of those people who gets frustrated because you feel like you look the same no matter what you buy or how much you buy, this is something to look into. By the way, if you don't know what your inter recreational shopper would buy if left to her own devices, pay attention to the sections of a website you go to first and which ones you don't visit at all when you're shopping, that'll tell you a lot. The second way recreational shopping hurts. Your wardrobe is the complete opposite of number one. And that is you tend to buy for a life you don't really live or a person you really aren't. This happens way more often when you are on vacation or you're doing those fun little shopping trips in like different areas. If you've ever bought jewelry on vacation and gotten home to your real life and thought where the heck am I going to wear this? You know what I am talking about? Vacation you buys for a life of tropical prints and shell motifs and suburban you is like, yeah, this doesn't work with my life or all my other clothes. We just get caught up in the moment and starry eyed by all the pretty things and we think we're buying a memory. But the thing is you can admire pretty things and not bring them home. Clothes really don't make great souvenirs. I told you about my do not disturb hat already. That was a vacation purchase. It's one of those floppy straw hats with a large brim and a clever saying on It. I bought it ages and ages ago, before, they were everywhere in places like Target. But I was having a vacation moment. I was hanging on the beach every day, and it seemed like something I just had to have. After purchasing it, I remembered I hate hats. Hate them. My curly girls know the struggle, right? They wreck my hair. They make my head hot. No, thank you. So I brought it back to my real life, and I wore it exactly one time. Also, do not disturb seemed really cute for the ocean or a resort pool, but it felt kind of weird and off putting when I wore it to a local community pool with my kids. Like, who does she think she is? We weren't planning on disturbing you, lady, so get over yourself. Vacation me did not translate to real life me. The third problem I have with recreational shopping is, is that you're at the mercy of your moods. When you buy clothes unexpectedly, you're going to be influenced by however you're feeling at that moment. Shop on a warm, sunny day and you'll end up with things you wouldn't. If you shop on a cold, rainy day. Shopping when you're happy gives you a different wardrobe than shopping when you're sad. The clothes you buy when you're not feeling great about your body or the way you look are very different than the clothes you buy when you're feeling more confident. And that's not to say that any of those purchases are inherently bad or wrong. But if you only shop when you're sad or feeling down or on rainy days, your wardrobe is going to reflect that. When you want something that isn't cozy and oversized, you may not have it in your closet. When we shop out of boredom, which is a lot of the scrolling that we do, we tend to want to buy things that will shake things up a little bit, right? That'll add a little spark of something, and that often leads to those what was I thinking? Moments like prints that you don't wear and colors that you naturally wouldn't go for. And the reality is you weren't thinking, you were just feeling. And as we all know, feelings are temporary. The fourth issue I have with recreational shopping, and this is specifically about the recreational shopping we do with other people, is that you're influenced by other opinions and other voices that probably don't have your style and wardrobe goals in mind. When I was working one on one with clients, I had a very, very strict rule, and that was no guests. You were not allowed to bring your mom, your sister, or your bestie on our shopping trip. And if you were still Set on doing that, I was going to charge you a pretty hefty fee. I charged that fee for two reasons. Number one, no matter how much the client and guest said, oh, I'll just watch or oh, you won't even know she's there. In the end, I had two women in two fitting rooms giving two women advice dressing two women, which doubled my work. So yeah, I think it was fair. But the bigger reason was that I wanted to do everything in my power to keep the guest from tagging along. It was meant to just be a deterrent. When I shopped with clients, it wasn't two fun ladies having a girls day out at the mall. Nope, we were on a mission. It was work. I had a plan. I didn't bring things to the fitting room my client didn't need because I was there to solve a problem in a very short amount of time. But without fail, the guest would start bringing things to the fitting room. And honestly, being my co stylist, saying things like, oh, Linda, I, I saw this, I thought it was so you, you just have to try it on. Even though my Linda had a million blazers and didn't need another, or oh, Linda, that dress is so cute. Well, yeah, it's a little tight in the tummy, but if you lost weight, you could wear it or you could throw on Spanx. And it's such a great price. Even though I would never, ever encourage my clients to buy things that required them to change in order to wear it, the shopping session would always go off the rails and devolve into just a free for all rather than a problem solving trip. And in the end, that just didn't serve my client very well. A weird, weird thing happens when women shop together and I kind of compare it to a shark feeding frenzy. I don't know if it's pheromones or what, but women shopping together get excited and tend to egg each other on, encouraging each other to buy more and spend more than they would on their own. I have seen that a million times. One member of the group will be on the fence about something because of the price, and 100% of the time, the friend or whoever will say, oh, go on, you deserve it. I have never, not once seen a friend say, you know what? That is a lot of money. You should probably put that back. They're just not good influences when it comes to shopping. And so not only do you have this heightened state happening, you get advice from people who probably don't know what they're talking about. Style wise, There's a big difference between this is a nice top and this is a nice top for you. When we're running on the feel good chemicals that shopping naturally gives, logic takes a backseat. And I have seen this happen hundreds and hundreds of times, both as an observer and a participant. If you've ever experienced a shopping hangover after a day with your girls, you know what I'm talking about. I'd be willing to bet the things you bought on that trip didn't become wardrobe favorites that got worn a lot. Finally, the last and biggest issue I have is that recreational shopping tends to focus more on price than value. We've talked about this before, but it's so important we're going to talk about it again. Because understanding the difference between price and value is so important when it comes to building a quality wardrobe. So let's talk about it. Because price and value, they're not the same. Price is the relationship between the item and the store. Like, how much will it cost me to get these jeans out of the store and home with me? That is price beyond whether you can afford it or not. Price has very little to do with you. Value, on the other hand, is the relationship between you and the item. How often will you wear those jeans? How good do you feel in those jeans? How important to you? Are they in your wardrobe? If you have a pair of $50 jeans that you wear a few times a week and they make you feel like a million bucks, they look great with everything, those are valuable jeans. If you have a pair of $200 jeans that you hardly ever wear because the fit's just a little off and you can't find the right shoes for them, and they don't make you feel good. You even though they cost four times as much, they're not as valuable. When we recreationally shop, we tend to look for, quote, unquote, good deals, which in our minds is all about price. But a good deal is only a good deal when the value is higher and the price is lower. Those $200 jeans I just mentioned, they wouldn't be a good deal even if they were $50. Price doesn't make anything fit you better, flatter you more, make you want to wear it, or add any value. In recreational shopping, this often tends to play out in the clearance section. From my years of working in stores, the women who are truly just browsing would always make a beeline to the clearance section. It's like, oh, something to do. Just flip through the clearance rack. And if there's one thing I Hope you take away from this show, it's that wardrobe problems are created, not solved. In clearance sections. This is where you're going to find those one off pieces that don't go with anything else you own. This is where you're going to find those pants that are finally going to motivate you to go to the gym. Spoiler alert. No, they won't. The clearance section is where you lower your standards or believe that you're going to become a different person just because the number on a price tag has changed. Remember, price has nothing to do with you. If you didn't love that dress at full price, you won't love it anymore just because the price was lower. When you shop like this, when you shop price focused, two things happen. Number one, you're adding chaos and confusion to your wardrobe, which will make it harder to pull style out of your closet. But at the same time, you're not adding the things that will make getting dressed easier and more successful. No one buys the perfect pair of pants when they're recreational shopping. You know, the pair that fit like a glove and make you look amazing, go with everything and probably cost more than you wanted to spend. That's just not what we end up with during unplanned buying sessions. And if that's the only way you shop, it makes sense that your wardrobe is missing the pieces that would make it easier to get dressed and pull your style together. Now, this isn't to say that you shouldn't be smart with your money or that you shouldn't buy things on sale. Not at all. I mean, you'd be silly to pay full price at stores that are always having a sale, right? But if the price is the best thing about the item, if that's the most exciting thing, the thing you like the most, walk away. That is not a good deal. The ironic thing is that price based wardrobes often end up wasting the most money. I had a client who was obsessed with those buy nothing Facebook groups. She would take any clothes people offered. What she ended up with was a free wardrobe that required hiring a professional stylist to make sense of it, alterations to make things fit her, and adding quite a few basics to make all of her free pieces wearable. That's a lot of money for free clothes that weren't even what she would have chosen in the beginning. Price based decisions often waste money in the long run, while value based decisions almost never do. So now that you know how too much recreational shopping can hurt your wardrobe, let's talk about how to stop doing it. The truth is, you probably won't stop doing it 100% of the time. Shopping is just too prevalent in our culture, and if you're a person who likes style, which I assume you are because you're listening, it happens. So let's make the goal just to cut it down instead of totally cutting it out. And the first thing is simply to be aware. Pay attention to when you're looking at or buying things that you didn't wake up intending to buy. I think most of us do it more than we think, and just recognizing that we're doing it will help cut it back. Next I know this one's scary. Unsubscribe from store Emails it used to be that we had to go to the mall to shop recreationally. It took effort, and if the stores were closed, well, too bad for you. But now it comes to us 24 7, 365 and the best way not to be sucked in by those emails is is not to get them in the first place. Get them out of your inbox so they are out of sight, out of mind. Unsubscribing fills people with a ton of fomo Fear of missing out like what if Loft has a sale and I miss it? It's okay because Loft will have another sale, including the time that you go to their site with purpose and intention. Something will be on sale. Sales are not a rare thing anymore, and we have to stop acting like there won't be another one. Another thing you can do is just run through my little checklist. When you find yourself about to buy things you weren't planning on, ask yourself, is this something I already have enough of? Is this something that fits who I really am in my real life? What about my mood is influencing my decision? Am I listening to voices and opinions that aren't serving me well? And finally, am I buying this because of price or value? When you're in the stores, commit to trying everything on. One thing about recreational shopping is that it's often a low commitment throwaway activity, so make it a little bit harder on yourself. If you don't want it bad enough to go into a fitting room and try it on, you don't want it bad enough. And as a bonus, this will ensure you end up with a wardrobe that fits well and looks good. If you're shopping online, fill your cart and then close that tab. Go back in a few days and see if you're still as excited about those clothes as you were when you added them. Chances are no. The moment will have passed and you will have saved yourself a lot of money and a lot of hassle. Finally, if you're someone who does their recreational shopping with other people, find something else to do. The money I spent shopping with my mom and sisters over the years probably added up to the vacation of a lifetime. And I can't remember one outfit that was so good that I would have traded a great vacation for it. So take a painting class, visit a winery, go for a walk, try a new restaurant, take a jewelry making class. If you're all about style, invest in experiences instead of clothes you won't wear in just a few years. I guarantee those memories will be so much more valuable in the long run. Now, if this sounds like I'm saying you should never shop recreationally and only buy what's on your list, I am not. That would be hypocritical of me, because as a person who likes clothes and loves to shop, recreational shopping happens. But there are a few things I do to make sure that impromptu purchases aren't wasting money and cluttering my wardrobe. And if these work for you, great. Feel free to steal them first. I already mentioned this, but trying things on in stores is key. I prefer shopping in stores. I love to actually touch the fabrics, and I look at stores as freestyle labs where you can try things on and experiment without spending any money. But I don't allow myself to buy anything in store that I haven't tried on. I've got a pretty good eye for how things will work for me, but you just never know about things like fit. I tried on a shirt the other day that looked perfect on the hanger, but the armholes were just oddly huge, which I didn't notice. If I just brought it home, it probably wouldn't have bothered me enough to warrant a trip back to the store to return it, but it would have bothered me enough to keep me from wearing it often. It took two minutes to keep myself from wasting money and cluttering my closet. Next. I always know what I'm looking for. In general, this allows me the freedom of not having a regimented list, but gives me some direction so that I don't just buy sweatshirts, wide leg athleisure pants, and sneakers. Because I am a vampire who is allergic to the sun, I use a ton of sunscreen and self tanner in the warmer months, both of which wreak havoc on my light colored tees and tanks and summertops. So right now I'm working on replacing those. I don't have a list of how many white T shirts I need and how many pink tank tops. But I know if I'm going to a store that's what I should be looking for. This weekend. My daughter wanted to go to the new Nordstrom rack that just opened a couple minutes from our house, and I knew what to look for. I knew what sections to go to. And I am always on the hunt for casual, comfortable tops that look nice on camera, for doing videos, and also for things I can wear on date nights or times where I I want to feel a little more fun and not so worky. You don't have to be super specific, but knowing the general categories you need to fill will keep you from overloading one area of your closet and neglecting another. Along with that, I always allow myself to look for and buy my best. And here's what I mean. There is a shade of blue that I am convinced God made especially for me. Not to brag, but I look dang good in this shade of blue. When I find it, which is not often because it's not common, I buy it. I don't care if it's a swimsuit or another sweatshirt, as long as it looks nice, I'm buying it. Our little Nordstrom rack excursion the other day ended with me buying a tank and athletic shorts in my beloved blue. My eyes are trained to find those best to look for them and find them. And while I wasn't really focused on summer athleisure quite yet, I don't regret buying those pieces at all. They'll be super valuable pieces in my wardrobe in just a few weeks. Of course, this requires knowing your best, discovering your best, but once you do, narrowing your search to just those things weeds out a lot of bad choices and wasted money. The last thing I do to make recreational shopping more successful is, and I'm sure it doesn't come as a shock, but I stay out of clearance areas. This morning as I was getting dressed and I had this topic on my mind, I was just flipping through my closet and I was looking for my wardrobe. Hits and misses. I am a regular person, which means I make mistakes too. I am not perfect. I was looking for pieces I bought on clearance, not sale clearance, and I wanted to see if they were valuable pieces in my wardrobe. Here's what I found in my closet. Currently, there are four things I know I bought on clearance. Two pairs of jeans from up west when they were going out of business and I can't return them, an adorable tweed cardigan I found in a boutique this winter, and a gauze shirt I bought when it was discounted to $6 at Costco because I am fancy like that. Three of the four things still have tags on them and they are the only things in my closet that still have tags on them. One of the jeans was just an awkward fit. The Costco shirt is too big and it's a color that washes me out. And my adorable cardigan, it's too big, too dark, too chunky to be flattering, and has a drop shoulder, which I hate. And the sleeves are too long. So this is not great. Nothing about this is good for me. So why did I buy it? Well, because it was marked down from $140 to $25. And who could pass up a deal like that? See, I'm human too. I remember being in the store. I was shopping with my little daughter and I was not loving it, but the salesperson was like, oh, that's so cute, you have to have it. And my daughter was like, get it Mom. And I was convinced that somehow I could make it work. But the laws of everything I know about myself weren't suspended just because that sweater was marked down. Out of the four things I bought on clearance, only one wasn't a complete waste of money. And that's because those jeans were the same as another pair I already had and already loved. Just a different wash. They were a high value item at a lower price, making them an actual good deal, unlike the other three, which were just a total waste in the grand scheme of things. Having four clearance items in your closet isn't a huge fail. And having four items that collectively cost less than $50 isn't going to cause me to lose sleep at night. But it's a good reminder that price based purchases are rarely worth it. You are much better off saving those dollars for clothes that will help you get dressed more easily and love the way you look every single day. Because that's what great style is all about. I hope this episode has increased your awareness of what recreational shopping is and and how often you might be doing it. Even if you're not hitting the mall with your friends anymore. If you've got a closet full of clothes, even beautiful ones, but you're still struggling to get dressed, ask yourself if a lack of shopping strategy might be partly to blame. Don't forget that your shopping habits determine the quality of your wardrobe. So if you want something different, you might have to do something different. That's all I've got for you today. I will see you next time. And until then, remember that your everyday matters. So get dressed for it and that's a wrap. Thank you for listening today. If you're loving the Everyday Style School podcast, I'd like to invite you to become a member of the Style Circle. It's our monthly all access membership that gives you everything we create to make style easy so you can save time and money, have easier mornings and more confidence all day long. You get our seasonal capsule wardrobe guides, all of the master classes we offer, and our exclusive members only podcast, the Everyday Style School. Extra credit. Plus you're invited to the Facebook community where you can get even more style support and inspiration. I would love to get to know you and support your style journey. It's just $19 a month less than the cost of a clearance shirt you're never going to wear. Come join me and make your Everyday Style style easier.