Out of Whiskey and Reaching for the Rotgut (Members Only #338)

Summary

The Fifth Column – Out of Whiskey and Reaching for the Rotgut (Members Only #338)

Date: August 5, 2026
Hosts: Kmele Foster, Michael Moynihan, Matt Welch

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Overview

This episode delivers The Fifth Column's signature blend of caustic wit, personal storytelling, and incisive commentary as the trio reunites after a summer hiatus. The conversation moves from vacation escapades (and mishaps) abroad and at home, to reflections on generational stamina, the labyrinthine inefficiencies of Italian bureaucracy, American and European peculiarities, and an extended foray into the obscured history of the Peekskill riots and Paul Robeson's legacy. They weave irreverence with insightful asides about race, communism, and historical memory, as always straddling lines of taboo and historical curiosity.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Vacation Recaps & European Misadventures

[00:28–05:24]

• Moynihan’s Europe: Michael details his ambitious two-week “European sojourn,” noting the waning resilience of aging partygoers:

  "If you go hard for a number of days, it then takes about a month to recover. I've discovered that." — Michael Moynihan [01:52]

• Highlights include drunken karaoke (a nine-minute rendition of Bob Dylan’s "Hurricane"—controversially including the original lyrics—performed on a bus in an unnamed European country), power outages in Mediterranean countries (“It’s unbelievable how nothing works. Nothing works. It's crazy.” [05:24]), and the continuing comedic frustration with complex Italian toll systems.
• The conversation lampoons generational divides among their listeners regarding post-party recovery time and understanding platforms like Zoom.

2. Europe vs. America: Infrastructure & Inefficiency

[05:22–07:18]

• Moynihan and the others compare American and European inefficiencies, highlighting the convoluted Italian toll system versus the “silent and efficient” tolling in New York.

  "Here, the molestation is efficient and silent. It just takes place." — Kmele Foster [06:42]

• Italian bureaucracy is derided as intentionally complicated to extract payment, culminating in anecdotes of travel stress on the autostrada.

3. Cooperstown Pilgrimages & Strange Friendships

[07:37–09:14]

• Matt Welch shares his annual pilgrimage to Cooperstown and retells a charming story about his daughter Coco’s blossoming friendship with Bill Schultz, including gifting candy cigarettes.

4. The Peekskill Riots, Paul Robeson, and American Memory

[09:14–13:56]

• Welch introduces the neglected history of the 1949 Peekskill riots, prompted by a book he found by Howard Fast. He unpacks the anti-communist, and possibly anti-Semitic, nature of the mob violence protesting Paul Robeson’s concerts.
• The nuances of why Robeson was targeted—communism vs. race—are debated:

  "Were they protesting him because he was black?"
  "No, because he was communist." — Michael Moynihan [10:35–10:39]

• The group dissects the moral blindness of mid-century communists, Robeson’s music and football career, and his controversial eulogy for Stalin:

  "He was a phenomenal singer… and he was an even better Communist. And if anyone doubts it, look up Paul Robeson's obituary in 1953 for Joseph Stalin. It is a real piece of work." — Michael Moynihan [13:09, 13:12]

5. Forgotten Taboos, Legacies, and Local Markers

[13:24–14:23]

• Michael mentions the “Paul Robeson Theater” in Brooklyn as an example of how history’s taboos can linger in plain sight.
• They reflect on the conflicting legacies of people like Robeson, embracing both their suffering and their deeply problematic politics.

6. Rumors of Arrest and Locker Room Confessionals

[14:42–15:42+]

• The group teases rumors of Moynihan getting arrested abroad (in Luxembourg, not Italy, as alleged by their producer), adding to the episode’s irreverent tone.
• The closing segment trails into a running joke about the embarrassing things revealed in subscriber-only late-night podcasts, alluding to stories of athletic locker rooms and explicit content.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “I did a karaoke version of Hurricane… There was a point at which I was on a bus… I have no idea what was going on with what I’d been drinking.” — Michael Moynihan [02:21]
• “Everything is deliberately complicated to make you pay the Italian state, everything.” — Michael Moynihan [05:41]
• “Here, the molestation is efficient and silent… just takes place.” — Kmele Foster [06:42]
• “She’s become best friends with Bill Schultz. That is weird.” — Matt Welch & Kmele Foster [08:36]
• “There's a Paul Robeson Theater… I can't believe nobody in Fort Greene hasn't, you know, made that into the Yaya Sinwar Theater or something now.” — Michael Moynihan [13:57]

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Timestamps of Key Segments

• 00:28–05:24: Moynihan’s vacation debacles, drunken bus karaoke, and power outage tales
• 05:24–07:18: Why ‘nothing works’ in Italy vs. efficiency (and cost) in New York
• 07:37–09:14: Welch’s Cooperstown stories, Coco & Bill Schultz
• 09:14–13:56: Peekskill riots deep-dive, Communism, Robeson, moral blindness
• 13:56–14:23: Local legacies—Paul Robeson Theater in Brooklyn
• 14:42–End: Arrest rumors, subscriber-only after-dark anecdotes

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Tone & Texture

As always, the tone is rollicking, unsparing, self-mocking, and brimming with dark humor. The hosts move from drunken debacles to history seminar and back, critiquing friends and legends alike with iconoclastic glee.
You’re as likely to learn about the fine points of mid-century American leftism as you are to hear the scathing tale of a toll booth hold-up—or an elaborate joke about locker rooms.

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If you missed this episode, you missed an irresistible blend of irreverence and insight, with something to offend—and perhaps educate—everyone.

Transcript

[A]

Producer Jason is, like, leaving the room.

[B]

It's getting so bad now. His idea. Resignation letter. Good. Totally understand. I actually support it. I'm 100% behind it. We know of new methods of attacks.

[C]

I feel okay. I feel like we need to restart sex violence. This is a members only.

[A]

Do we get the clap?

[C]

We're good.

[B]

I got the clap last week.

[C]

Yeah, you did. How was your vacation, by the way?

[B]

I got the clap. Something's ailing me. I've been.

[A]

First of all, who are you? We haven't seen you in a while. You're a strange man with a tan, and you're kind of hunched over and diminished.

[C]

This is. It's been a while. We've stretched it out with some trickery, but it's been like two, three weeks since we've all been behind the microphones at a table. Plus.

[B]

Yeah. Two plus weeks, I think.

[C]

Yeah. Okay.

[B]

Yeah. I disappeared a bit. My. I usually take a week. I took two weeks this time because European Sojourn is getting harder by the year.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And. But it's also getting harder by the year. Having fun. Oh, Because I have fun. At the rate of, you know, in my 20s. The recovery time. As all of our very old listeners know, we get a Fox ish age range. No, we don't. We don't.

[A]

No, our demographic is. I mean, that's.

[B]

Is that.

[A]

No, our demographic is young.

[B]

Young.

[A]

Younger than us.

[B]

I thought it was all in stair chairs. No, no, no, no. Trying to get up. No, they don't have the. Yeah, they're.

[C]

They're generally about as young as I look.

[B]

I always figure. I always figure, like, when we do the zoom calls, that there are younger people who know what zoom is and that the older ones just don't have any idea, like, what is a zoom, and they just don't. I assume that's the case. But even our 40 plus listeners will know that if you go hard for a number of. Let me take my glasses off.

[C]

That's what she said.

[B]

If you go hard for a number of days.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It then takes about a month to recover. I've discovered that.

[C]

Sounds about right, actually.

[B]

So I tried to recover the second week in Europe and no success because I kept on having a good time.

[C]

Having fun.

[B]

Yeah, having fun. But my daughter was there for the second week, so that is a slightly different scenario.

[A]

She blew it out.

[C]

The fuck.

[B]

I blew it out in ways that embarrass me.

[A]

Limoncello cake stands.

[B]

There was a point at which I was on a bus. I'm not even Joking. I was on a bus, middle of day. I have no idea what was going on with what I'd been drinking. And the rest of it, where I did a karaoke version of Hurricane. Yeah. Is there a video of it? Maybe. I don't know.

[A]

I mean, the Bob Dylan hurricane. Not correct. Here I Am Rock youk Like a Hurricane, which would have been much more morally defensive.

[B]

That would be much more European, because that would be the German Scorpions. No, the greatest part about it was that when someone gave me the phone with the lyrics and I was like, I don't need that. But I was fucked up enough that I was this about halfway through.

[A]

Was this a public bus?

[B]

It doesn't matter. It does. No, it doesn't.

[A]

If you were subjecting poor Italian nuns.

[B]

They weren't Italians. It was a different country, but it's a third country. It was a different place. But I was telling this. Yeah, they were like, it was a different country. And no, it wasn't a public bus, but there were many people on the bus.

[C]

It's a karaoke bus. Someone was trying to hand you on.

[B]

Somebody had a karaoke thing, which made me look like one of those kids on YouTube these days because, you know, they hold the lava.

[A]

Yeah, they're horrible.

[B]

I can hate it so much. For your chest.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

But it was a little mic and a speaker that hooked up to Spotify.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

And, yeah, I did Hurricane.

[A]

That song is nine minutes long.

[B]

It's long. I was. I wanted to annoy everyone, but it has the N word in it, too.

[C]

That's great. And, yeah, you sang it a lot.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was on a bus in Europe. They're saying it outside. They're saying it everywhere.

[C]

Makes sense.

[B]

They do.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I did get to that point, although I did cut it off at one point because I was like, this is really long. I'm kind of not in my right mind right now. So I did sing Hurricane. That's the highlight of the trip for me.

[C]

So this is what you call fun.

[B]

I mean, you people.

[A]

I heard of you people. That was sort of like.

[C]

I didn't say you people.

[B]

I just said, I'm going to say the best. It was the most European trip because we went to a number of places where the power went out, including a very large club, which I had no interest in going to. But I was like, all right, I'm going to this club. And went to the club and was like, all right, gotta go to the club. And you gotta start at, like, 1am like, the fuck, man?

[C]

I'm gonna go at 1am, don't do this anymore.

[B]

The bus is gonna leave to take us back at 6:00am I'm like, man, I don't know if I can do this.

[A]

So many questions about his bus.

[C]

But go on.

[B]

Yeah, yeah. There's a lot happening on that bus. Woo. The magic bus. Yeah. And got in there like, all right, let's do it. Let's do it. And the power went out. Power went out.

[A]

So everyone had to do. I'm a Barbie girl. They're like, oh, I'm Barbie girl. Acapella.

[B]

It's gonna come back. It's. It came back and then went out again. So we had to leave. So that's, that's. And then dinner a couple nights later. Power goes out. My daughter watching a movie in Italy. Power went out. The fuck is like being in Cuba. It's like, do you guys have power grids? What is happening? Mediterranean country is not so good in the power. So that's what I've discovered. But otherwise I'm still trying to.

[A]

I mean, you discover that every fucking year in Italy, dude.

[B]

It's unbelievable how nothing works. Nothing works. It's crazy. I determined along with Rachel, our friend Rachel, who was. Was there for part of the trip with her lovely husband.

[A]

Plot is thickening. Did he wear his stupid hat?

[B]

Did he wear his stupid hat? Yeah, he was bike messaging throughout. He was delivering packages throughout his life. But that everything is deliberately complicated to make you pay the Italian state, everything. Oh, you can't, like, you can't get off the highway. You didn't pull the ticket this way. And you just got to give them a card and it's €70. Everything is deliberately difficult in Italy and nothing is modernized.

[C]

Isn't it that way here now? I mean, you can't drive around the New York. Greater New York City area without paying 40 to $50 in tolls. Yeah, but that is how.

[B]

But you never see it.

[A]

You never see it. You just drive through.

[C]

Oh, you just pay.

[B]

No, like the problem in Italy is that you get to the thing, the gate is down, get 400 guineas behind your cars honking, and you're like, everyone's freaking out. You're trying to do it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And the thing's not going up and you're losing. It's the most stressful thing in the world is trying to get off the autostrada in Italy.

[C]

Here, the molestation is efficient and silent. It just takes place.

[B]

Send me a bill. What are you doing? Making me half, like, half vital. He's Mad at me.

[A]

So I'm hearing that sometimes you were driving the bus.

[B]

No, this was post bus.

[A]

Post bus. Okay.

[B]

That first week, I was not driving. There was no driving there shouldn't. The second night I was there, I went to the beach and climb over some rocks. That's when I realized I was in a bad state already. Then I put my foot in the first rock and my leg was wobbling, and I was like, oh, body's failing already.

[A]

Kind of like your hand when you're trying to get to this deli.

[C]

Correct.

[B]

The wobbling hasn't started. And the joke's on me because I am Michael J. Fox now. Oh, my God. This is what snuck up on me. I think I dislodged it while I was in Europe. But, yeah. But, yeah, it's a great. It was a great trip, but it was exhaustingly long and too much fun. The first half.

[C]

At least one of us is going on vacation. Have you been anywhere, Matt Walsh? You've mostly been here.

[A]

I went to Cooperstown, as I do every year.

[C]

How's the pilgrimage?

[A]

Pilgrimage is great. It's, you know, the pilgrimage to the VFW bar is always the best part because they have, like, the Hanoi Jane stickers in the urinals.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Like, on the cake, right?

[A]

No, just right smack there.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

Typically right like, about mid.

[B]

You know, middle picture of mine was in my phone from a place that I went to. Yeah, a union hall, actually. Seriously.

[A]

And then, you know, we've been going to this VFW bar. It's just awesome. Go there, play cards. This was the first year that Coco went with us to the hall of Fame. It was very fun to show her around, show her the bars. Did she like this?

[C]

She'd been waiting for the opportunity to do it.

[A]

She had because, you know, knows that we have fun. We rent a big house, bunch of bedrooms. The weird part. Maybe it's weird, maybe it's not. I don't know. I'm a little bit mixed about this. Coco's become best friends with Bill Schultz.

[C]

That is weird.

[B]

That seems about right for Bill Schultz. Coco, when I look at him, I'm like, best friend is probably a round co.

[A]

They should have a sitcom or something like that because Coke is very sweet to him. She's always asking questions like, how come Uncle Bill isn't awake yet?

[B]

And why does he smell like urine? What is that big stain in his pants?

[A]

She successfully found at a local, like, a ye olde candy shop. Some candy cigarettes to give him old candy to sort of like, she tried

[B]

to smoke him and then slapped her in the face.

[C]

Well, the ones with bubble gum at least make the smoke.

[A]

It's actually super, super sweet and endearing. But no, after being at the VFW bar, I'm about to tar that VFW with another vfw. I read this book called Peekskill that I'd seen at a used bookstore a couple of years ago. And it just sort of like, it was Peekskill. And the text started on the COVID sort of like a pamphlet, almost like 100 pages or less.

[B]

And.

[A]

And it's like in years to come, people will look back and know where they were when Peekskill happened. I'm like, what the fuck? I've driven through Peekskill a lot. I don't know what happened here. Moynihan will probably have some memory of what happened here. I read the book by Howard Fast.

[B]

Oh, yeah. Commie. And the grandfather of Molly Jong Fast.

[A]

Grandfather of Molly Jongfast.

[C]

Okay, what the hell happened to Peekskill?

[A]

A horrible, horrible. Two horrible, horrible race riots in 1940. Race anti commie. Possibly anti Semitic.

[B]

Keep in mind, this was written by Howard Fast.

[C]

Howard Fast. Wait. This is a story about who getting out of line which one of the minorities,

[A]

the white minorities, went to a particularly apeshit including organized by the VFW, the American Legion, in 1949 because they were protesting a Paul Robeson concert. Oh, wow. Actually, two Paul Robeson.

[B]

Which by the way, not wrong.

[C]

Why were they protesting him? Not matters. Were they protesting him because he was black?

[B]

No, but he also.

[A]

Because he was communist.

[C]

Is that a race riot then?

[A]

Yeah, it's a riot when they start throwing rocks at your face and blinding you and screaming the word, yeah, Communist.

[B]

Yeah. Stalinist.

[C]

That doesn't sound like a race riot. It sounds like a riot and a noble cause.

[B]

Actually.

[A]

There's race communism, free speech, though we don't like that. A bunch of stuff. No, it was a gripping and fascinating read. Howard Fast ended up. The dude, like literally wrote Spartacus thing and very prolific author.

[B]

He was blacklisted when he wrote it.

[A]

Blacklisted? He was jailed for three months because he refused to rat on people at the house. UN American activities things on American things. The writing in it is pretty terrible. There's an opening salvo that's all about. That's written obviously by a true believer communist.

[B]

And it's just there was no truer believer than Howard Fass, but he stepped

[A]

away from it in 57, as a lot of people did after Hungary and after the Khrushchev, denunciation of Stalin.

[B]

Yeah. Probably because he was like, why is Khrushchev attacking Stalin?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Who's like my best friend.

[A]

It's not cool anymore.

[B]

Yeah. The time to break away From it was 1917, but he was a little late. Better late than never.

[A]

I put it. Years later, I put it at 37. If you haven't made the right call in 37, as an educated person who lives in England or America, which is the countries that have the literature that

[B]

I read, I'd say 33, because Ukraine, famine. You're. You guys, you're in some really dicey at that point, but it's. But the. The purge trials. If you're not out by then, you

[A]

have been warned by this time. There's. There's like no excuse. And I give no truck to any goddamn commie after that. But, yeah, that wasn't really the thrust of my vacation. But it was. It was.

[B]

So your vacation was that you converted to Stalinism because of Molly John Fast grandfather.

[A]

I mean, he has some points, you know, true Stalinism hasn't been tried in this country.

[C]

I heard that from Hasan Piker.

[A]

No. The level of violence at these picnics, which is. I think it's interesting that it's been largely forgotten. It's sort of remembered when people remember Paul Robeson. There's apparently documentary series which I haven't watched, but it's probably not any good about it.

[C]

But, like, I keep resisting the urge to break into a song like, it just. I hear the name and you just

[A]

want to hear that experience, old man.

[C]

I don't even know that I can do it.

[A]

I'm not sure I can get.

[B]

He was. He had a special voice.

[A]

He did.

[B]

I mean, he was a phenomenal singer.

[C]

He was a good football player that he used for.

[B]

And he was an even better Communist. And if anyone doubts it, look up Paul Robeson's obituary in 1953 for Joseph Stalin. It is a real piece of work. And next time in the show, I'll.

[A]

I'll.

[B]

If maybe cut it here, maybe I'll read it now.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

I think you've.

[A]

I think you might have read this.

[B]

I might have read it. W.E.B. du Bois and Robeson both had real slobbering obituaries for Stalin. Not surprising, Robson. You know, you can be mistreated by the government and be a complete piece of shit, too. And politically, he was a complete piece of shit. Yeah, I just. I don't think there's any doubting. And that's one of the things that. There's a Paul Robeson Theater. It's like a disused theater in Fort Greene on Lafayette.

[A]

Oh, really?

[B]

Has the Paul Robeson Theater signature. I don't know if I can't believe nobody in Fort Greene hasn't, you know, made that into the Yaya Sinwar Theater or something now.

[A]

I mean, it's a block and a half from Spike's joint.

[B]

That's right. It's like a block and a half from Spike's 40 acres and a mule. Yeah. But, yeah, I'm sure there's a documentary series about the greatness of Paul Robeson and how he was horribly treated. Which, by the way, it is true. He was horribly treated.

[A]

He was. And again, those specific riots are shocking to read about, like, just even dispassionate Wikipedia entry stuff. Or as much as dispassionate as that's going to be. But I want to hear about. Was producer Jason just blowing smoke up my skirt, talking about how you might have gotten arrested in Italy or you.

[B]

Oh, it wasn't Italy, but it was

[A]

again, this third country that we don't name.

[B]

Stop waiting for Trump. What can you get in Jew in Lichtenstein? I didn't get arrested in Luxembourg, okay? Oh, Luxembourg. No, there was a moment. There was a moment.

[A]

I'm sorry.

[B]

And there were cops.

[A]

So what's up, Twitter world? If you are not a subscriber to this podcast, you don't hear how drunk we get.

[C]

Well, no, they're not subscribers. That's why they're hearing this.

[A]

That's what I just said. I said, if you don't subscribe, you don't get to hear how bad it gets at the end.

[C]

That's right.

[A]

And you want that because sometimes Michael Moynihan talks about being in a locker room with a bunch of naked men.

[B]

What kind of men?

[A]

Big ones.

[B]

What kind of big ones?

[C]

Apparently not athletes. Or maybe they were athletes. It could be custodians.

[B]

I was trying to get you to answer a question.

[C]

It could be anyone, according to you.

[A]

Just athletes.

[C]

Well hung men. That's what you said.

[B]

I literally would cancel my subscription if I were to give them. Just for the record.