If you're writing a memoir, you've probably realized: covering 20, 30, even 40 years of your life in one book feels impossible.

Where do you start? Where do you end? How do you fit everything in without writing a 500-page autobiography that no one asked for?

Here's what I want you to know: a memoir isn't what happened to you. It's how you changed because of what happened to you. A memoir is a story, which means it's about a shift in perspective—not a play-by-play of your entire life. Once you identify that shift, structuring your memoir becomes so much clearer.

In this episode, I'm sharing a new 3-step pyramid method I developed for finding your memoir's time container.

This method helps you narrow decades of material into a focused narrative while still including all the backstory and context you want through flashbacks.

I break down the difference between memoir and autobiography, how to identify the actual story you're telling, and how to find your beginning, middle, and end using three simple questions. If you're a memoirist feeling overwhelmed by how much you need to cover, this framework will help.

Love the show? Share it with a fellow writer or leave a review! For more resources, visit thebookincubator.com.

Let's connect! Come say hi on Instagram: @book.incubator

Happy writing! — Mary

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RESOURCES:

+ Learn my Four Notebooks Method & get your free template:
http://bit.ly/3wGmMTc

+ A Novel in 52 Prompts - A scene-by-scene blueprint for writing your novel:
https://www.thebookincubator.com/novel-in-52-prompts

+ Ready to write your dream book? Apply for The Book Incubator in just 5 minutes with no obligation to enroll and get my free 60-minute training HOW TO WRITE YOUR DREAM BOOK WITH A FULL-TIME JOB (AND A LIFE):
https://bit.ly/3wEwrJQ

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Hi, I'm Mary!

I'm the author of the novels When You Read This (Indie Next Pick and “Best Book of 2019” by Good Housekeeping), Privilege (Today.com “Best Summer Read”), and Palm Beach (New York Post “Best Book of 2021” and “like a sandy beach, equal parts beautiful and uncomfortable” according to the Associated Press). My memoir, You Might Feel A Little Pressure, was released by Third Rail Press in 2025.

My books have been published in 13 countries, and I've written for the New York Times, The Atlantic, Slate, and more. I founded an MFA-alternative, The Book Incubator, which has now helped hundreds of writers finish their books over 12 months and continues supporting them through publication (yes, forever!).

When I’m not writing, I’m probably building a fort with my 7-year-old son Finn or bathing with an overpriced Lush bath bomb. I live in Dallas, where I spend my free time trying to domesticate a stubborn tabby and shamelessly watching reality TV.

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Social:

+ Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/book.incubator

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S10 E12 A New Method for Memoirists: How to Structure Your Memoir Memoir in 3 Steps