Fr. Mike Reacts to Theo Von's Prayer

Summary

Episode Overview

Title: Fr. Mike Reacts to Theo Von's Prayer
Podcast: The Fr. Mike Schmitz Catholic Podcast
Host: Ascension
Date: May 14, 2026

Main Theme:
Father Mike Schmitz explores the true goal of the spiritual life, inspired by comedian Theo Von’s vulnerable public reflection on prayer, sin, and the desire for real transformation. Through Theo’s candid words, Fr. Mike examines the difference between pursuing perfection and seeking union with God, emphasizing the value and challenge of authenticity in spiritual growth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Theo Von’s Prayer and Vulnerability

• Fr. Mike introduces Theo Von, referencing his earlier career and transition into more open spiritual conversation.

  • “He was younger back then. Everyone's younger back then. But he recently was talking about his prayer life.” (Fr. Mike, 00:12)

• Theo receives a call-in question about the cycle of sin and isolation, responding with stark honesty about his own prayers:

  • “For me, I would ask God to help me, and I'd be like, I would pray.” (Theo Von, 00:48)

Notable Prayer Moment:

• Theo describes offering his faults to God, then moving into deeper honesty:

  • “God, please take this thing from me. Like, I don't want to go back to this. But the next level of prayer was...” (Fr. Mike, paraphrasing Theo Von, 00:58)

• Theo admits self-deception in prayer:

  • “Even as I pray to you right now, there’s a part of me that knows I’m probably lying to you. There’s a part of me that knows I’m going to do that behavior again. So can you come into that part of me and help me there?” (Theo Von, 01:29)

2. Struggle, Honesty, and the Desire for Change

• Fr. Mike is struck by the accuracy and depth of Theo’s self-awareness in prayer and draws a parallel to the Gospel story of the man at the Pool of Bethesda:

  • Refers to Jesus’ question: “Do you want to be healed?” (Fr. Mike, 01:53)
  • Underlines how change requires letting go of familiar patterns and stepping into the unknown—a new story.

• Theo’s openness about emotional wounds:

  • “When I was a kid, my mom would... There are many times my mom wouldn't look at me. I think that really, really wounded me, that here's the person who created me, who won't even... Won't even look at me.” (Fr. Mike, summarizing Theo, 02:51)
  • “I want to look in someone's eyes and have them be pleased with me.” (Fr. Mike paraphrasing Theo, 03:12)

Memorable Quote from Theo Von:

• “I know who to be angry at. I know how to operate here... I know who to not give love to... But I think I want a new story, dude. And it’s crazy for me to even say that again.” (Theo Von, 02:25)

3. The Real Goal of Spiritual Life: Union vs. Perfection

• Fr. Mike challenges common assumptions:

  • “The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. Yes, Jesus said, be perfect as the Father is perfect. The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. The goal of the spiritual life is union. The goal of the spiritual life is to have an intimate, close relationship with God.” (Fr. Mike, 03:30)

• He explains that focusing just on root out sin and vice can be misleading:

  • The absence of vice is not the destination, but the journey toward relationship with God.

On Union with God:

• “Union doesn't just mean relationship. Union also means I want what he wants. Union also means I will what the Father wills.” (Fr. Mike, 04:38)
• “When I hand him my heart, that union that reshapes my heart so that it begins to look like his, it reshapes my desires. So I begin to love what he loves and hate what he hates.” (Fr. Mike, 04:50)

4. Embracing a New Story and the Father’s Pleasure

• Theo’s yearning for a “new story” becomes a metaphor for embracing transformation, accepting one’s past, and allowing God to work in the present.

  • “What does that new story look like? ...Maybe even some of these inclinations I still have might be part of my present, but I walk through those, I carry them, I even experience them in relationship with God.” (Fr. Mike, 04:24)

• The desire to be “looked at and pleased with” echoes the affirmation of Jesus by the Father:

  • “This is what the Father declares over his beloved son, Jesus. This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased. Listen to him.” (Fr. Mike, 05:11)

5. The Invitation to All Listeners

• Fr. Mike ends by stressing God’s grace and immediate access to union with Him:
  • “There is nothing, nothing stopping you and stopping me from having that union. You and I can choose to be a saint, like, right now. So why not choose it right now?” (Fr. Mike, 05:35)

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Highlights and Memorable Quotes

• Theo Von:

  • “Even as I pray to you right now, there’s a part of me that knows I’m probably lying to you... Can you come into that part of me and help me there?” (01:29)
  • “But I think I want a new story, dude. And it’s crazy for me to even say that again.” (02:25)

• Fr. Mike Schmitz:

  • “The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. The goal of the spiritual life is union.” (03:30)
  • “Union means we have a relationship where I’m seen and he is seen by me, and also were of the same mind and heart.” (04:54)
  • “There is nothing, nothing stopping you and stopping me from having that union... So why not choose it right now?” (05:35)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:00 – Introduction: Spiritual life, Theo Von’s background, and context for the episode
• 00:48 – Theo Von’s prayer and honest admission of struggle
• 01:29 – Theo’s “next level” of honest prayer; vulnerability before God
• 01:53 – Reflection on the Gospel (Pool of Bethesda) and the meaning of true healing
• 02:25 – Theo Von’s yearning for a “new story” and recognition of old patterns
• 02:51 – The woundedness of not being seen and desire for affirmation
• 03:30 – Fr. Mike’s core message: goal is union, not perfection
• 04:38 – Elaborating on the meaning of “union” with God
• 05:11 – The Father’s pleasure in the Son as a model for us
• 05:35 – Final encouragement and invitation to pursue union with God

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Tone and Language

Fr. Mike’s tone is empathetic, warm, and direct, creating a welcoming discussion on a difficult topic. The language is conversational—occasionally punctuated by honest, raw admissions both from Theo and Fr. Mike—which underlines the episode’s central message: that honesty and desire for union with God are at the heart of real spiritual progress.

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Summary:
In this episode, Fr. Mike Schmitz uses Theo Von’s heartfelt public prayer to unpack the real objective of the spiritual life. Moving beyond perfectionism, he highlights the transformative power of honesty, vulnerability, and seeking deep union with God. Through relatable stories and Gospel reflection, listeners are encouraged to pursue authenticity in their relationship with God—to step into a “new story,” knowing the Father delights in them, and that union is available, right now, by grace.

Transcript

[Father Mike Schmitz]

We're shooting to be better people. We're shooting to, like, get maybe get rid of some vices. We're shooting to be stronger, to be better, to be holier. But is that the actual goal of the spiritual life? Hi, my name is Father Mike Schmitz, and this is Ascension Presents. And I've always liked Theo Vaughan. Like, back in the early 2000s, he was on a couple reality shows, maybe one reality show multiple seasons. But I remember just, like, seeing this guy. He was younger back then. Everyone's younger back then. But he recently was talking about his prayer life. Someone had called in and said, hey, Theo, I have this question. Hey, Theo, longtime listener, first time caller. And they kind of bare their soul about, like, this cycle of falling back into sin and then retreating and being alone, but then going back to sin and all these things. And Theo Von had this incredible reflection on his own. His own life, his own heart.

[Theo Von]

Thanks so much for the call. I don't think you said your name at the beginning, but thank you. For me, I would ask God to help me, and I'd be like, I would pray.

[Father Mike Schmitz]

His prayer was, okay, God, here's this broken thing. Here's this thing in my life I don't want again. That's the vice we have. That's the thing in us that's just like, man, if I could just get over this, okay? If I could just get past this thing, then I'd be free. Like, then I'd be at peace. Then I'd be. Then I'd be holy. Then I'd be perfect. And the way he talked about his prayer was just so accurate. This is how all of our prayers have to be. He said, I'm coming before God and saying, God, please take this thing from me. Like, I don't want to go back to this. But he said, but the next level of prayer was.

[Theo Von]

And then I would add to my prayer. I would say, and even God, even as I pray to you right now, there's a part of me that knows I'm probably lying to you. There's a part of me that knows I'm going to do that behavior again. So can you come into that part of me and help me there? Help me in the part of me that knows, as I pray that I am, that I'm lying.

[Father Mike Schmitz]

And he went on to this reflection of. I think it was the man of the pool, Bethesda, where Jesus asks him, do you want to be healed? And Theoban has this reflection on. You might think it's a dumb question, but it's not a dumb question. Because why? Because if you're healed, then you have to live a new life. If you're healed, you have to live a new story. And as Theo was reflecting on this, he kept going back to this point place of saying, I think I want a new story. I think I want a new story.

[Theo Von]

But I don't want that story anymore. You know, I want something different. And it's scary to say that I want to have a new story because I'm so used to, like, how those other feelings work. I know who to be angry at. I know how to operate here, and I know how to operate there, and I know who to not give love to. And I, you know, I know how to make, like, love, like, very conditional. But I think I want a new story, dude. And it's crazy for me to even say that again.

[Father Mike Schmitz]

So vulnerable, like, just so honest. He reflected on. He said, you know, when I was a kid, my mom would. There are many times my mom wouldn't look at me. He said, I think that really, really wounded me, that here's the person who created me, who won't even. Won't even look at me. And he went on to say that he's been unpacking that for a long time. And he. That he loves his mom and his mom loves him. But that was wounded. He said, I just. I want to look in someone's eyes and have them be pleased with me. That in some ways, that is the goal. Relationship. The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. Yes, Jesus said, be perfect as the Father is perfect. The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. The goal of the spiritual life is union. The goal of the spiritual life is to have an intimate, close relationship with God. And here's why Theophan's prayer was so good. Because what do we do? We are standing before God in prayer. Like, we're here. We are coming before the Lord, the God Almighty, who we know loves us. We know that. How does He. How much does he love us? He loves us so much that he gave his only beloved Son that anyone who believes in him would not perish but have eternal life. That we know this God who loves us so much, and we're standing before him in prayer, and we lie to him, or at least we hide from him. Maybe we're not lying, but there's so often where we don't actually tell him what's in our hearts and we hide from Him. And in doing that, we're missing the entire point of the spiritual Life, which is union, which is relationship, we get sidetracked, we get distracted, of course, because sin is real, right? Vice is real, and we want to avoid all of those things. But there are things that get in the way of union. There are things that get in the way of relationship. But just getting rid of those things and just having no more sin, no more vice, that isn't the point. It's the process to get to the point. Which is one of the reasons why he said, you know, I want a new story. What does that new story look like, the new story looks like? Yep. All this history, it's part of my. Part of my past, maybe even some of these inclinations I still have might be part of my present, but I walk through those, I carry them, I even experience them in relationship with God. Okay, I need one quick clarification. Union doesn't just mean relationship. Union also means I want what he wants. Union also means I will what the Father wills. Right? So it's not just kind of like, hey, we talk a lot and we're united. That's wonderful. But it also means my heart has been conformed to his heart. It's not just that sense of like, okay, bring my heart. And I go, okay, God, you have my heart. Now I'm taking it back. Make sure it's intact. Make sure it's exactly the same as it was when I handed it to you. No, actually, when I hand him my heart, that union that reshapes my heart so that it begins to look like his, it reshapes my desires. So I begin to love what he loves and hate what he hates. Union means we have a relationship where I'm seen and he is seen by me and also were of the same mind and heart. When Theoban says, I want a new story, you're like, yes, yes, you can have a new story. When Theobahn says, I want someone to look at me and just be pleased with me. Amen. This is what the Father declares over his beloved son, Jesus. This is my beloved son, with whom I am well pleased. Listen to him. So, Theo, to listen to Jesus and for us to listen to Jesus. And the more we listen to Jesus, the more we're like Jesus, the more we have union with Christ. The goal of the spiritual life is not perfection. The goal of the spiritual life is union. And because of God's grace, there is nothing, nothing stopping you and stopping me from having that union. You and I can choose to be a saint, like, right now. So why not? Why not choose it right now anyways? For all of us here at Ascension presents. My name is Father Mike. God bless. That was scary. Siri just jumped on. Be quiet, Siri.